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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

Run. His name is donald. laughter and. cheers and applause good man. And donald recently glided back into my life on his solid gold up and down people mover, cranked up the unauthorized millian, opened up his crazy hole and made a promise to me that i would never be without material again laughter when mexico sends its people, theyre not sending their best. Theyre sending people that have lots of problems, and theyre bringing those problems with us. Theyre bringing drugs. Theyre bringing crime. Theyre rapists. And some, i assume, are good people. laughter jon thats our donald trump reminding america that as many as a handful of people laughter coming across our southern border are not rapists laughter he assumes. Hes sure about the rapist part. laughter but feels that, i guess by pure law of averages, there are probably some nonrapists caught up in that tide, whether theyre unable to rape for medical reasons or laughter or whether they are just all raped out laughter as you can imagine

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Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20240622

Man. Yay. laughter yay. laughter im tired. Another guy . Really . laughter okay. What do we have, like 43 guys running . Okay. J. F. K. , man john freakin kasich. laughter okay. You got to use that. What do we know . Well, hes the governor of ohio. Its a very important swing state. Hes known for working across the aisle. Hes open to immigration reform. And his state took some obamacare. Okay. So far hes okasich in my book. laughter seriously, heres my book. Right here. And there you go. laughter here we go. There we go. See . So okasich. Says it right here. cheers and applause no no, no. You guys think i make this [ bleep ] up. Everything i say has been thoroughly sourced. All right . laughter every time a candidate on either side enters the race, i think, how does this impact me . I was just at wendys on saturday up here on hudson avenue, and two wonderful africanamerican fellows were there. laughter larry hmm. Africanamerican fellows. laughter okay. That is the safest possible way of

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Transcripts For COM The Nightly Show With Larry Wilmore 20240622

Please. What a kind audience. Welcome to the nightly show. I am larry wilmore. These summer audiences, let me tell you. We can all be making out right now with these, if these cameras werent here. Guys, i have to start with this there is son unsettling news out of africa this week. No, no, no. Not president obama doing the african version of the chacha slide. No, no, no. It was this asshole killing a lion. A minnesota dentist facing death threats, threats after killing one of africas most famous lions. Wait, did you say the hunter because dentist . As if people needed another reason to be scared of them. Four out of five dentists recommend crest. I guess the fifth was too busy murdering lions to take the poll. All right well, you know maybe i am jumping to conclusion, maybe this wasnt murder maybe the lion was trying to attack him. Neighbor lion has a sore tooth. Maybe there was something stuck in its paw. Maybe there was a witch and a wardrobe sitch. I dont know. I am just saying, giv

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20240622

Last night, 14 candidates appeared to see who would be chosen as their partys president ial nominee. That was different from a collection of indistinguishable individual undergoing a much more skillbased shrek. Do we have anything from the forum . The twohour forum played out like political speed date, 14 republican candidates sharing a single stage in new hampshire. Jon a single stage the worst dinner production of cats ever looked like this. Senator ted cruz attended via satellite. What was so important he couldnt attend in person . In texas, we cook bacon a little differently than most folks. gunfire laughter jon are we sure thats grease . Perhaps some ejaculate from how much you love guns . By the way, you really need to add bacon to get americans to like guns . For gods sake, its not salad or medicine. Americans use guns for a lot of things coring apples, unclogging toilets, ear pierci piercing ah. Listen, gitter done i shouldnt complain about the the republican race. At least its

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Transcripts For KNTV Dateline NBC 20240622

Imagine, your mother a fugitive, your father a stranger. Your home, your name, your past was any of it real . The first thing i felt, just pit in my stomach. I just felt like it was my fault. A mothers crime. A fathers pain. What kinds of emotions did it stir up when you would see that crib . It would just make me cry. A daughter forced to face the shattering truth. I was shocked and i was just terrified. Im lester holt, and this is dateline. Heres Andrea Canning with finding savanna. In 20some years, will i recall how you tucked and curled against my neck and chest . Reporter a fathers love. Harris todd once tried to put it into words. In 20some years will i recall how i often held you long after you had fallen asleep, listening to you breathe . Reporter tried to express what it meant to cradle his baby daughter savanna. And you, what will you remember of these wondrous days as a baby girl along with your old father whose entire life you now are . Reporter back in 1994, harris could n

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