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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20110830

backman wins. the ayes or shall i say the crazy eyes have it. michele bachmann s 4,823 votes narrowly clipping ron paul. no one else even close. exciting victory. looking for someone to throw cold water on it in 3, 2,. boom. former george bush strategist matthew dow. ames has never had a history of picking winners but they ve certainly had a history of picking losers. jon: michele bachmann so you won. one of the actual losers of the poll, they must be celebrating their not winning. we needed to get some lift to continue on and to have a pathway forward. that didn t happen. so i m announcing this morning on your show that i m going to be ending my campaign for president. jon: (snoring). here s the problem with that guy in iowa. any time he s around you cannot operate heavy farm machinery. sir, stop talking. i have to work my crops. so the republicans move into the fall with michele bachmann the big story. what was that? that laugh, so familiar, so regional. i can t pla

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20110830

media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org august 15, 2011. from comedy central s world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central jon: hey, everybody. welcome to the daily show. my name shall jon stewart. oh, listen to the crowd. they are so fired up for independence day. i can t even tell you. ( cheers and applause ) now, pakistan independence day too or just india? that was yesterday? it s on a different day? yesterday. i think i just started a fight. our guest tonight the smooth soothe sar of the money honey bear ali velshi will be joining us but our big story tonight is is presidential politics. new candidates in, old candidates out. it all happened here. ames, iowa. founded in 1632 by willie ames. yes, once again ames iowa in the spotlight as a result of the 2011 iowa straw poll are in. with 16,892 iowans voting, the winner of the 2011 iowa straw poll is congresswoman miche

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20110822

washing your hands like, ooh, who the hell was in here before me? somebody gonna come open the door. smell the smell. then look at you like you did it. now you gotta run behind them and try to explain something. hold on, it wasn t me. wasn t me. somebody else was in there. they had on black shoes. i saw their shoes. i saw the shoes. thank you so very much, ladies and gentlemen. thank you. thank you. captioning made possible by comedy central. captioned by mccaptioning services reseda, california. august 15, 2011. from comedy central s world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central jon: hey, everybody. welcome to the daily show. my name shall jon stewart. oh, listen to the crowd. they are so fired up for independence day. i can t even tell you. ( cheers and applause ) now, pakistan independence day too or just india? that was yesterday? it s on a different day? yesterday. i

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20110817

just come on home so you really think it was the cold therapy that helped him? i don t know. but i m glad i did it. i m really proud of you, baby. just come on home august 15, 2011. from comedy central s world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by comedy central jon: hey, everybody. welcome to the daily show. my name shall jon stewart. oh, listen to the crowd. they are so fired up for independence day. i can t even tell you. ( cheers and applause ) now, pakistan independence day too or just india? that was yesterday? it s on a different day? yesterday. i think i just started a fight. our guest tonight the smooth soothe sar of the money honey bear ali velshi will be joining us but our big story tonight is is presidential politics. new candidates in, old candidates out. it all happened here. ames, iowa. founded in 1632 by willie ames. yes, once again ames iowa in the spotlight as a result

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20110816

ames, iowa. founded in 1632 by willie ames. yes, once again ames iowa in the spotlight as a result of the 2011 iowa straw poll are in. with 16,892 iowans voting, the winner of the 2011 iowa straw poll is congresswoman michele bachmann. jon: there you go. audience: boo. jon: i see we have a lot of pawlenty supporters in the audience this evening. backman wins. the ayes or shall i say the crazy eyes have it. michele bachmann s 4,823 votes narrowly clipping ron paul. no one else even close. exciting victory. looking for someone to throw cold water on it in 3, 2,. boom. former george bush strategist matthew dow. ames has never had a history of picking winners but they ve certainly had a history of picking losers. jon: michele bachmann so you won. one of the actual losers of the poll, they must be celebrating their not winning. we needed to get some lift to continue on and to have a pathway forward. that didn t happen. so i m announcing this morning on your show that

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