If you want to know what school was like in 2020, let me tell you about one moment that has stuck with me for months. One Thursday morning in October, my daughter, an eighth-grader, spent her “homeroom” period performing a school lockdown drill. She was, of course, in her own house, like all her classmates. The students watched a video on their computers about lockdown procedures, then practiced hiding under desks. And so it happened that in this, the most absurd and bewildering academic year of her life, my eighth-grader tucked herself under the table in her bedroom, to prepare for the possibility that someone might try to shoot her, someday later, at her school.
Dear Care and Feeding,
I live in a part of the U.S. where cases are multiplying at an alarming rate; my state is on a list of states people are advised not to visit. And so my (young adult) children, who live in bigger cities that are struggling against their own second waves, are not coming home for Christmas. It will be the first time we have ever been apart for it, and although I understand why they can’t visit (one of them would be expected to quarantine for two weeks post-visit before returning to work in person at a job they love, and both of them are more concerned about their father and me, who have been strictly isolating since March and are at higher risk than they are, than they are about themselves), I am heartbroken. What I would really like to do is just skip Christmas altogether this year no tree, no lights, no Christmas cookies, no nothing. I feel that doing anything that evokes Christmas would make me too sad. My husband thinks I’m being “dramatic,” a couple
Dear Care and Feeding,
My mom is really inflexible about my clothes. The problem isn’t really about modesty; my family is both Indian and practicing Catholic (aka a modesty double whammy), and I can accept and understand that my parents are going to control things like the length of my clothes. I’m fine with that.
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My problem is that my mom won’t let me wear the clothes I like. I have a very different style from her. When we go shopping, I might show my mom a shirt I like, and she will tell me that it looks boring and plain, and then show me a shirt she likes instead. I feel like I should say that my style isn’t really too provocative or strange or anything; think along the lines of a pink shirt that says “New York” with leggings or a skirt. Sometimes, I try to tell her I don’t like the clothes she picks out for me, but I hate arguing, so I normally just back down and buy the clothes she likes just to stop her from getting mad, even if I feel uncomfortab
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My daughter is 4 and in preschool for the first time. She’s an only child who lives with four adults her parents and her grandparents, who are immunocompromised. We almost didn’t put her in school at all except she was acting out pretty severely from not having enough playtime and social time with other kids. I tried to create a pod of a few kids, and the logistics never worked. Now she goes to a Montessori school three mornings a week and is happy, calmer, and her vocabulary and social skills have exploded.
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But COVID is spiking again, and I’m afraid for her grandparents. A spot has opened up in a local virtual preschool, in which kids Zoom with the teacher for 30 minutes and then do activities with their caretakers. I’m trying to decide whether to pull her from her school and do that? It’s the safest option, of course, but … can she possibly get the social aspect she needs from being with kids on the computer? Is effective virtual presch
Dear Care and Feeding,
Would it be ethical to buy up quantities of this season’s hot toy (this year, it’s the Cocomelon JJ doll) if I find it on sale so that I can thwart evil scalpers and sell them at cost to pure-hearted fellow parents with kids who want them for real? Or does this just contribute to the false scarcity problem the scalpers are creating?
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Dear JJ Justice,
I imagine the quantities of Cocomelon JJ dolls we’re talking about here are low enough to have little effect on the overall market I think you can probably go for it if this is really how you want to spend your time! But before you clear out your attic or rent a storage unit somewhere, maybe ask yourself how important this is to you? It just sounds like it could take up a ton of your time and energy, and there are likely easier, better ways to improve the holiday for pure-hearted parents and kids.