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For Tony Tran, the biggest problem was the isolation and cultural pressure to keep it in the family. Barry Applebaum struggled with the stress and trying to remain stoic for his kids. Larry Bocchiere lost a sense of normalcy when he had to retire from his job.
What these men, and millions of others like them, have in common is family caregiving providing ongoing help for an aging parent, a spouse who is ill, or both.
Although women still make up the majority of family caregivers, more and more men are stepping into the role: Some 40 percent of family caregivers are now men, according to the most recent research from AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, up from 33 percent a decade ago. Little is known about the impact of COVID-19 on this trend, but it’s safe to assume that more men were called on to pitch in with caregiving during this crisis as well.
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Greg Smiley’s world changed abruptly in 2013. He was racing down a mountain road on an outback cycling trip in South Africa, when he hit an obstruction in the road and fell face-first onto the pavement, still clipped to his bike.
The impact did considerable damage, including a potentially disfiguring injury from the bridge of his nose down to his chin.
That started a multiyear and multifaceted journey of recovery for Smiley, during which the seed for a new nonprofit was planted. This idea ultimately culminated in the Adira Foundation, founded in 2019 and focused on finding commonalities to solve complex issues across five neurodegenerative diseases, including multiple sclerosis.
My father has dementia. How do I keep him engaged and safe during the pandemic?
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The pandemic has complicated the challenges for caregivers of people with dementia.Mark Makela / New York Times
Welcome to “Pandemic Problems,” an advice column from The Chronicle’s engagement reporters that aims to help Bay Area residents solve their pandemic-related conundrums personal, practical or professional. Send your questions and issues to pandemicproblems@sfchronicle.com.
Today’s question is fielded by The Chronicle’s Annie Vainshtein.
Dear Advice Team: My father is currently living with dementia. I am his full-time caregiver. Prior to the pandemic he was attending an Adult Day Health Care Center, which was a wonderful program. Now that these centers are closed, what can caregivers do to keep their loved ones engaged and safe during this time? Please advise.
On a Saturday morning before the pandemic hit, when people still gathered indoors, adults of all ages filled a meeting room at a senior center in West Los Angeles. A few were young adults, some were older seniors, most were in late middle-age. The majority were women, but there were a few men, too. They grabbed coffees and muffins and quietly found a seat at one of several round banquet tables. The room was quiet at first, but it soon became almost raucous with conversation. Though they came from different walks of life, these strangers had at least one thing in common: Each cared for a family member or friend with dementia.