Dread small talk at parties, back when such things existed? If so, a new study may shed light on why. It turns out almost everyone is lousy at knowing when to end a conversation,.
Know why conversations either seem too short or too long?
Ever get stuck talking to someone, and you can’t figure out how to get out of it? How about finding yourself in a really interesting conversation but having it end kind of prematurely? You’re not alone, and it’s all because we’re uncoordinated conversationally, anyway.
A new study looking at 932 conversations between pairs of people finds that most conversations don’t end when the participants want them to. Some feel as if conversations are too short while others think they go on far too long, as many folks are undoubtedly, sometimes painfully, aware. In fact only about 2 percent of conversations ended when both people wanted them to, according to the research.
Ever feel trapped in a never-ending conversation? Well, you’re not the only one, according to a new study. A group of researchers surveyed over 800 people and found conversations almost never end when both parties want them to – and people don’t really think about their partner’s desires to end the conversation.
Image credit: Flickr / Felipe Cabrera
Back when he was studying for his master’s degree at the University of Oxford, Adam Mastroianni used to attend black-tie events and wonder how many people were stuck in conversations they couldn’t get out of. “What if we’re all trapped in conversations because we mistakenly think the other person wants to continue?” he asked himself.
Only about 2% of conversations end when both participants want them to, according to a study published in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America journal.
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One evening Adam Mastroianni was reluctantly putting on his bow tie for yet another black-tie party at the University of Oxford that he had no interest in attending. Inevitably, Mastroianni, then a master’s student in psychology at the university, knew that he would wind up stuck in some endless conversation that he did not want with no way to politely extricate himself. Even worse, he suddenly realized, he might unknowingly be the one to perpetuate unwanted conversation traps for others. “What if both people are thinking exactly the same thing, but we’re both stuck because we can’t move on when we’re really done?” he wondered.