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The post-lockdown literary festival

The post-lockdown literary festival
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The Case For Toxic Friendships

1 of 72 We expect to have good mothers, and to marry, and to be good mothers. The arrival of baby Violet was meant to be the happiest day of my life. I would be different. I would be like other women for whom it all came so easily. I would be everything my own mother was not. But as soon as I held her in my arms I knew something wasn t right. My husband Fox says I m imagining it. He tells me I m nothing like my own mother, and that Violet is the sweetest child. But she s different with me. Something feels very wrong. Is she the monster? Or am I?

Here s Why My Baby Will Have My Surname - Not My Husband s

I grew up in a household with four surnames. My mum had her maiden name, my stepdad his name, my brother his dad’s name, and I had my mum and my dad’s names. From a young age this meant I knew that not all families share a name, and that this has no effect on how loved we necessarily feel or how connected to each other we are. But growing up in a household with four surnames also meant that I witnessed just how much multi-name households can unsettle people observing our family from the outside. Bringing up the topic of surnames in 2021 can still produce quite visceral reactions. Anyone who’s discussed the subject with friends and family knows this. So why does it continue to surprise me that many adults become uncomfortable when presented with even the slightest hint of a disruption or challenge to heteronormative behaviours in relation to surnames in marriage, and, especially, when it comes to children.

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