Introduction Postgres queue tech is a thing of beauty, but far from mainstream. Its relative obscurity is partially attributable to the cargo cult of “scale”. The scalability cult has decreed that there are several queue technologies with greater “scalability” than Postgres, and for that reason alone, Postgres isn’t suitably scalable for anyone’s queueing needs. The cult of scalability would rather we build applications that scale beyond our wildest dreams than ones that solve real problems beyond our wildest dreams.