The virus. Man, he will stop at nothing to blame this pandemic on other people were one press conference away from him calling it the obama virus. The obama virus, or as its also known the Obama Hussein virus. Infectious diseases expert and Coronavirus Task force member dr. Anthony fauci has reportedly been assigned a security detail after receiving threats. Threats like stop contradicting me or else the governor of georgia said yesterday that he just learned in the last 24 hours that asymptomatic people can transmit the coronavirus. So hes probably three weeks out from learning what asymptomatic means. Massachusetts received 1 million face masks today for Health Care Workers that were delivered from china on the new England Patriots private plane. Meanwhile, the jets private plane was intercepted and returned for a touchdown thats matt goldich, if youre an angry jets fan watching this. Congresswoman alexandria ocasiocortez on tuesday criticized new york governor Andrew Cuomos decision to suspend mortgage payments but not rent during the coronavirus and accused him of giving preferential treatment to the wealthy. Ironically, she lives rentfree in a lot of wealthy peoples heads. After suspending the basketball season due to the coronavirus, the nba is reportedly planning to launch a playersonly nba 2k videogame tournament and will broadcast the games on espn. Wait, thats on espn jesus, whats on espn 2 . Antiques road show Florida Governor ron desantis issued a stayathome order yesterday to stop the coronavirus. Now . Youre just doing that now what are you going to do next, put life preservers on the titanic . Make a new years resolution seriously, what took you so long your beaches are wheres waldo incidentally, we found him hes at the hospital according to new reports, sales of more comfortable wireless bras are up 40 since the start of the coronavirus, while some people are opting to go completely braless damn, dude what is that all about at least throw on a sweatshirt when the pizza guy shows up. Seriously, my man, whats going on under your shirt . Friends episodes have less prominent nipples. The craft store chain hobby lobby is reportedly fighting to be classified as an essential store so it can be open in states with stayathome orders. Oh, come on. You literally have the word hobby in your name hobbies are the definition of nonessential. Unless your hobby is doing 1,000 piece puzzles or baking bread. Thats pretty much all instagram has left at this point if those go away its over a Seafood Restaurant on long island has named a dish after Infectious Disease expert and Coronavirus Task force member dr. Anthony fauci, which features linguine in a white clam sauce they also have a dish named after trump where you order 30,000 fried shrimp and then a month later they bring you three fish sticks. Meanwhile, Staten Island is honoring dr. Fauci by naming all their sons anthony for the last 200 years. Today was International Childrens book day, though some of them had to be updated because of the pandemic. And finally, thanks to a new changes in liquor laws, new york cities are now allowed to deliver cocktails to peoples homes as long as theyre sold with food. Said new yorkers, yeah, ill take 20 margaritas and a french fry. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Seven years ago we started our program. There was only one person wed have as a first guest. That was amy poehler shes back tonight and shell be joining us right after a closer look. Hello and welcome back to our makeshift studio in an attic crawlspace so far weve migrated from the hallway to the garage to the living room to the attic and you may be wondering whats that little door behind me is it where we keep our camping gear or is it a door to another dimension . And how about that tiny chair . Is it for my kids or is that where the attic hobbit smokes his pipe and reminisces about the battle of the five armies . Im sorry to say, ill never tell now, were all bracing for a very difficult few weeks or months. But there are things the federal government could be doing right now to help us get through this. Instead the president has essentially abdicated his responsibility and left the states up to themselves. For more on this its time for a closer look. Seth a pandemic like this requires a centralized federal response you know how republicans always complain about Big Government . Well, how sweet would a Big Government be right now . Because i dont know about you, but this tiny government stuff sucks. Its like being on the top floor of a burning building but instead of a catch net, the firemen show up with a little workout trampoline feels like right now weve largely been left to fend for ourselves. For example, for weeks we were told that masks dont work and that we shouldnt wear them. Now all of a sudden the cdc is considering recommending mask you might want answers about what you should be doing to protect yourself and others and why the government is changing its position instead the best advice the president could offer on tuesday was this you know, you can use a scarf. A scarf is everybody a lot of people have scarves and you can use a scarf. A scarf would be very good i would say do it. But use a scarf if you want. I mean, most people have scarves and scarves are very good. Seth oh, great so now the president is Martha Stewart using a blanket, a bike helmet and some saran wrap you can make your own hazmat suit homemade pretty great. But its true. Most people do have scarves and no one has more scarves than lenny kravitz. So breathe easy, everyone. Lenny kravitz is in the clear. I mean, obviously the man has been preparing for this moment his entire life. I mean, look at that not only can he use that scarf, he can share it with two other people while maintaining a sixfoot difference. Now, its true, there is evidence that wearing a mask or some other kind of face covering, even something rudimentary, can prevent asymptomatic spread of the disease. You can wear a bandanna, you can wear a cloth just dont be a guy who wears a jason mask i mean, one, its freaky and two, it literally has holes. Jason, come on, man, that mask is not approved by the cdc havent you killed enough people, jason . Now, the president could have gone into detail about that or any other number of other important issues during his briefing on wednesday. But instead he chose to brag about this did you know i was number one on facebook . I mean, i just found out im number one on facebook i thought that was very nice seth what the [ bleep ] are you talking about, man youre in the middle of a deadly pandemic and youre bragging about how popular you are on Facebook First of all, of course youre popular on facebook. Its the preferred method of communication of drunk aunts and people who still own flip phones being number one on facebook is like, i dont know, having the number one album in belgium. I mean, good for you, i guess. But your album probably sucks. And by the way, thats not even true you only have 28 million followers on facebook. Barack obama has 53 million. I wish someone would point that out to trump because it would annoy the hell out of him. Hed force the cdc to update its coronavirus guidelines one, stay home, two, wash your hands. Three follow donald trump on facebook but stay six feet away from barack obama. Weve heard hes facebook friends with tom hanks so his page definitely, definitely has it now. The thing were currently enduring and the months of hardship ahead, were not inevitable hundreds of thousands of people dying, a National Lockdown that has disrupted daily life, none of that had to happen. I mean, just look at countries that managed to successfully contain the crisis countries much closer to china, the source of the outbreak like taiwan. Taiwan is just off the coast of mainland china. Millions travel between taiwan and the chinese mainland Johns Hopkins university had predicted that taiwan would have the second most covid19 cases in the world but today there are 80 countries and territories with more than taiwans 329 cases taiwan has succeeded at containing covid19 starting at arrival. The first step taiwan took was identifying possible cases lee told authorities shed had a cough in the last two weeks. So security escorted her to secondary screening. She had her temperature taken like this woman, and she got a covid19 test at the airport taiwan uploads these results into its National Health care database after her bags were disinfected, her ride home was in a government provided taxi by herself. One phone app allows taiwan residents to find stores with masks in stock another app provides information on all of those who are covid19 positive, where theyve been and their case histories seth holy [ bleep ]. Give you a ride home, an app that tells you where t masks and you get six months of showtime free of charge. Quarantine yourself and dont come out until youve watched every episode of shameless. Thats certainly better than what our government is doing compare that to when you arrive at an airport in the u. S the closest anyone comes to taking your temperature is when a tsa agent gives you a full cavity search because accidentally packed a bottle of shampoo that was larger than 3. 4 ounces or if you dont want to look at taiwan, take iceland, another country thats using advanced strategies to track and isolate cases of coronavirus including detective work for the past few weeks detective guesster polmanson has been chasing down leads and pursuing suspects. Hes on the hunt for covid19, where he and dozens of other detectives are tracking every single case of coronavirus in the country. As quickly as we can we have to reach everyone that might have been in contact with someone whos positive and try to stop them before they get in contact with more people seth they literally have detectives tracking down cases not only is than effective method for containing the disease, its also a great premise for a netflix crime drama starring Kenneth Branagh as detective guesster polmanson. Hey, kenneth, so excited to be working with you have you worked on an icelandic accent . I think id just use my british accent. Yeah no, but it takes place in iceland, so everyone will have an icelandic accent. No, i think everyone else should be british too. Yeah, but kenneth, wont that be weird . Sorry, friend those are the Kenny Branagh rules. And that was an extended bit for people who have seen bbcs production of the Swedish Crime drama wallander. Hey, the attic shows are going to have some deep cuts, everybody. Thems the rules. One of the biggest takeaways of icelands approach is that by aggressively testing everyone theyve been able to avoid having to lock down their entire country the way weve had to its very important to test very aggressively. We put those who test positive in isolation and we do Contact Tracing very aggressively also. We put all contacts in quarantine and its interesting that more than half of those who we are diagnosing now are actually in quarantine when theyre diagnosed, which means our policy of quarantine is probably very effective in minimizing the epidemic this has allowed authorities here to delay the closure of bars and restauran some Stores Remain open. People still walk the streets and explore the Great Outdoors seth they still get to go outside. And their outside is awesome they have lagoons and volcanoes. The closest thing we have to a lagoon here in the u. S. Is disneys typhoon lagoon, and that thing is germ city. They should call it typhoid lagoon so in iceland they get to go outside. Meanwhile, in new york to go outside you have to wrap your head in scarves and swerve into the street to keep a distance of six feet from people on the sidewalk at this point, youre better off just hitching a ride on the back of a garbage truck new yorkers arent used to avoiding people. Theyre used to bumping into people thats why the line to midnight cowboy was hey im walking here, not, hey, im trying to maintain a distance of at least six feet here. And then theres south korea, which had its first case on the exact same day that we had our first case they deployed massive nationwide testing to track and contain the spread of the disease. As fox news found out on wednesday when they invited a doctor on who was much more critical of the Trump Administration than they were probably expecting now, what we hear every night is that the tests, that there are millions of tests available. And yet we dont have that pinprick blood test you can get, you know, at your local doctor and know in 15 minutes but theyre working on it. Yeah, theyre working on it they should have been working on it for months. So the fact is we knew about this from the w. H. O. When . December 31st, 2019. So last year we knew about this. We needed this months ago. You look at korea, korea south korea and the u. S. Had their First Official confirmed case on the same date. January 19th let me say this. January 19th you look at what south korea did and what we did. Their population is 1 6th of ours look at the cases they have. Look at the mortality they have. Its a trifle compared to what were dealing with right now because weve had a very weak response and they had a really strong response. Seth oh, man fox news viewers never hear that kind of real talk. You asked the wrong doctor thats like asking your weird uncle if santas real. Not only is he not real, hes just a construct of consumerist designed to melt your brains before you learn to think for yourself anyway ho, ho, ho i got you some scratchers. Also, i love how long he shakes his head while shes repeating trumps talking points they should put that guy on a box on the screen during all of trumps press briefings. This is like a flu. This is like a flu seth so south koreas contained the outbreak with aggressive testing meanwhile, here in the u. S. , our president said in a Conference Call with governors, he hadnt even heard about problems with testing. Do you have any system in place that you feel can adequately identify cases and isolate them and Contact Trace them are there capabilities and resources there thats not something you can do given with what you have . Ting to do conta from the cdc, that we wouldnt be able to do testing in montana. We dont have enough supplies to do the testing. Tony, you can answer if you want, but i havent heard about testing in weeks i havent heard about testing being a problem. Seth if you havent heard about testing being a problem, then you need to get tested to see if you have a problem. Like a hearing test or a vision test i mean, maybe trump just cant read his briefings look at him. Whenever he reads off a teleprompter he looks like he just finished 15 rounds with apollo creed and now that weve failed at testing, we have to massively ramp up hospital capacity, something the Trump Administration is also failing at for example, hospitals desperately need lifesaving ventilators. And yet the president doesnt even know what theyre called. We sent thousands of generators to new york the people in new york never distributed the generators seth ventilators theyre called ventilators having this guy in charge is like sending your grandpa to gamestop to pick up video games. I need the new line of duty for the x station playbox. Also nows not the time to send your grandpa to gamestop, you coward just go, grandpa. Youll be safe. Trump doesnt even know what ventilators are called here are the emergency ventriloquists you guys asked for. Actually, we said ventilators. I told you he said ventilators, you dummy. Im not the dummy youre the dummy. Why, i oughta now, trump should have used his powers under the defense production act to Order Companies to make ventilators weeks ago but hes only done it once during this pandemic even though his administration apparently used it repeatedly before this. The New York Times reported that the defense production act has been invoked hundreds of thousands of times in the trump years. But with the pandemic, the president sees it as a break the glass last resort. Hey, man its time to break the glass it was time to break the glass weeks ago. Of course, knowing trump, if he does have one of the break the glass in case of emergency boxes in the white house its probably not a fire alarm but a you know, like an emergency chicken wing and they probably have hundreds of them on the wall because he breaks one every five minutes. Sir, if you want a chicken wing you can order it from the chef. I didnt have time. It was an emergency. So now we have a situation where states are begging for lifesaving ventilators and the trump team is in disarray. The pentagon says it still hasnt sent ventilators but they havent been told where to send them and the New York Times reported that thousands of ventilators in the stockpile dont work because the government let the contract to maintain the stockpile lapse last summer. So now governors are literally outbidding each other on the open market and dealing with shady middlemen and price gouging to buy ventilators wherever they can get them every state does its own purchasing so new york is purchasing. Californias purchasing. Illinois is purchasing were all trying to buy the same commodity. Literally the same exact item. So you have 50 states competing to buy the same item we all wind up bidding up each other and competing against each other where you now literally will have a company call you up and say, well, california just outbid you its like being on ebay with 50 other states bidding on a ventilator its the wild west. And these are crazy markets and you get a lot of bad actors. Its more like surge pricing on uber, only at the last minute the car drives away because somebody has outbid you. Seth thats right. Governors are comparing buying lifesaving ventilators for a pandemic to surge pricing. This is capitalism at its while trump waits for the market to decide, people are literally going to die and states are getting ripped off like theyre frying to call an uber in the rain in midtown after a broadway show. And even worse, the ventilators come with a driver who wont stop trying to make conversation even though youre very clearly trying to take a nap and youll never guess whos in charge of this [ bleep ] show. The guy slenderman has nightmares about jared kushner. Thats right the real slim shady has been put in charge of the ventilator problem. And after new York Governor Andrew Cuomo said publicly his state need 3arently kuschner pushed back. Kushner told people that cuomo is being an alarmist i have all this this data about icu capacity im doing my own projections and ive gotten a lot smarter about this new york doesnt need all the ventilators. Oh, oh youre doing your own projections. Did your parents just buy you a ti84 . Youre not qualified to do anything, let alone tell new york how many ventilators they need. Youre a nepotism case and you only got the white house job because you married into the family and because the security guards believed your fake i. D. You are good to go, mr. Cowboy. And hey, give that virus hell for us. I hope when the time for accountability comes, we can all remember that it didnt have to be like this other countries responded to this pandemic with competence and they avoided the worst now were bracing for an unimaginable tragedy and as we speak, the president is leaving besieged states and hospitals to fend for themselves putting lives at risk. But hey, at least most people have scarves. Seth this has been a closer look. Well be right back with amy poehler. Announcer for more of seths closer looks be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. How fast does dove dry spray actually dry . Lets see. Its dry. Theres no dry time makes us wonder. Why we booked fifteensecond. Ad slots dries instantly and. Keeps you protected for fortyeighthours. whistle lots dries inshi tly and. Head to oldnavy. Com for up to sixty percent off everything thats up to sixty percent off everything at oldnavy. Com hey allergy muddlers. 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Pepsi zero sugar all in the cola flavor. None of the sugar. Way more than you think. Check out this game. Yes. Galaxy 5g means you will beat your friends what if i want to show my friend this little guy . Calling the whole gang is even better with galaxy 5g. Wait a minute, are you bored . Obviously imagine a future where the best seats in the house are in your hand. With galaxy 5g yelling its like being there. Without being there. Seth hey, everybody. This is so exciting. Our next guest is an emmy winner, a golden globe winner. You know her from parks and rec. She used to carry me on her back on weekend update on saturday night live. Its our very good friend amy poehler, everybody hi, everybody hey, seth. Seth hi. How are you . Im great the world is well, i heard though you did have a really interesting project you wanted to share with us thats happening right outside your window. Yeah. You know, now it doesnt feel like the time to promote anything that people are working on but i do have one project that im really excited to talk to you guys about i mean, i produced it. But i feel like it was the birds that really took it over the top. Seth the birds a birds nest seth oh, theres a birds nest yes and i sent you guys a picture. Seth here we are were looking at the photo now and it is just beautiful i mean, you cant really tell you cant really see the birds because they wont let me get close to them. Because theyre very temperamental artists. Seth yeah. But, yeah hoping we sell it to nestflix. [ laughter ] im going crazy well, this is all the erotica ive been writing during quarantine these are all my a book a day, right youre writing a book of erotica a day. My libidos so high and ive got to get it out so just a book a day and i made seth well, this is because this is the future of intimacy, well be reading erotica, right people are never going to touch each other ever again. Thats right. Youre just going to be youre going to sit on a park bench and someone else will sit on the park bench. And youll read the erotica you wrote. And youll just stare at each other from, like, a mile away. Seth its going to be like 17th century romance from now on for everybody. Just, like, glances. Yeah, just, like, tiny like, ankles and face masks dropping seth have you seen a portrait of a lady on fire . Have you seen that movie yet i havent yet i cant wait to see it seth a lot of face masks seth like, there is, like, like, just through, like, netting. You know that theres definitely people out there right now that are like, this is my kink. Like, hooray. Seth oh, you mean like someones kink is never getting within six feet of anybody yeah. Theres got to be somebody thats like i like to wash my hands and, like, not touch anybody. And wear face masks and gloves and be scared. I dont know seth right and do you think theyre, like, having to pretend, like, oh, this is such a bummer for me. But in the back of their head theyre like, aye, aye, aye, aye. Finally. Or maybe theyre mad that all the basic people are doing it. Seth yes, thats true. But i do dont you feel bad for kids who have to date . Like, dating is not like, impossible yes i feel like theres so much pressure like, you know how it used to be, you know, will you go to the prom with me . Like, that was the big ask now its going to be like, do you want to quarantine with me . Seth yeah. Will you spend two weeks, an uninterrupted two weeks with me, and watch me do my laundry its well, i do think that will lead to maybe not as good a relationship but a more honest relationships. Yeah, i mean, i will give the credit to where its due, which is mike scully, the writer mike scully, who writes on duncanville, a show that is on right now if you wanna watch he coined the term quarantweened seth quarantweened, i love it which is i love it and thats whats happening to me right now im quarantweened so i have children who are not quite young enough to not, you know, be anxious or need to learn schoolwork but not quite old enough to be able to do anything for themselves or, you know, do any chores really do you have any tips for parents who are home schooling mine are too young but it doesnt matter what i do now. Yeah, it doesnt matter its great i dont know i find it fascinating that we found yet another way to shame working mothers right now. And working fathers. Dont get me wrong both parents are parenting right now. But it is amazing that, like, on top of Everything Else im also and also creating all these exciting educational adventures for my kids. And if i see one more instagram thing of, like, someone being like, if youre thinking if youre needing something to do today or like if youre out of ideas what to do and its like, nah, i have the ideas. [ laughter ] i dont have the time. I dont have the time or the willingness for my children to do the ideas seth i dont even have the construction paper or the scissors or the tape and i dont wanna go out and buy those things you cant buy those things those things are gone. Theres no more [ laughter ] can you imagine right now if youre, like, hustingly and bustling to go out to but construction paper oh, man. Seth yeah, taking the risk risking it all for that. Just like bumping imeo pewhen paper . People are going to be like, get out of here, lady. [ laughter ] seth so we were obviously on opposite coasts right now. Youre an l. A. Person. I know youre just a new york person in l. A. Im a new york person who lives in l. A thank you, seth, for making that distinction. Seth yeah, but we, you know, i think for me the last thing that felt anything close to this was a time where you and i were in new york which was 9 11 right . That was the last time that things were this scary and it was completely different because it was this awful thing. And then every day felt closer to normal. Where this feels like every day is farther away from normal. Totally this feels like this storm that just keeps almost happening and almost hitting but not hitting yet. And, you know, youre right. R. And it was different, too, because we didnt have kids. So it was like just taking care of yourself and your partner, whoever you were with whoever you were with. But it was like it just goes to show i love new york so much new york is hurting badly now. Im feeling for it sending it love, thinking about it seth isnt it true that youre reconnecting with new york by watching old law order yeah, yeah. Im watching old ive got to admit i do that anyway seth yeah. But im watching it now with a new sense of appreciation for the way, you know, frisco roughs up the assailant and touches him. Seth oh, right theres a lot of the six feet rule is constantly violated. Yes the other guys taking the packages off the truck and then taking a Business Card from detective green with no gloves i mean, its that kind of dangerous seth do you you know, you were in new york for a period of time before snl where you were an actor you were a working actor in new york does it still bother you that you were never in an episode of law order . All the time. I think about it all the time. I watch old law orders just thinking about who i would have played and id like to think i would have been like a pyro, like a girl like a college girl who presents as very together. And then halfway through you realize, like, she set her professors office on fire and killed him i feel like i would like to have been cast as a, like, a normal presenting College Student who had an affair with her professor and lit his office on fire seth did and do you feel like on the stand, do you was your is your breakdown emotional or very sort of calmly admit to it . Oh, god thats a great question. Do i get to the order i mean do i get to the law part of the show is your question seth yeah, right but then, like, are you the one on the stand when Sam Waterston is grilling you that he makes you break down youre like, i did it, i burned his office. Or are you like, very well played, mr. Mccoy . Well, first of all, waterston never grills he slowly seth yeah. You know, every once in a while he gets upset but he doesnt grill he just gently he just does his job. You know i feel like i would like to think i could be on the stand and do one of those things where, like, a moment where my eyes flicker and i say, like, why are you asking so many questions . [ laughter ] seth thats really good. Maybe you deserve to have your seth thats when the jury knows. And then the jurys like, oh and they all write down their seth thats very good. They say when youre on the stand you never want to see a flurry of jury pens. Theyre never writing innocent when the jury starts nodding their head and taking notes thats not a good sign seth hey, i want to talk to you a little bit more about your boys and how youre doing with them well be right back. With more amy poehler. Where are we going . We have no where to go [ laughter ] seth no, no. You stay there ndoes your house still smell stuffy . Thats because your home is filled with soft surfaces that trap odors and release them back into the room. So try febreze fabric refresher. Febreze finds odors trapped in fabrics and cleans them away as it dries. Use febreze every time you tidy up, to keep your whole house smelling fresh air clean. Fabric refresher even works for clothes you want to wear another day. Make febreze part of your clean routine for full home freshness. La la la la la the network has to be prepared to absorb whatever is going to come its way. Were always preparing. Make sure that the network is working all the time. We are constantly looking at it, were constantly monitoring. We take that responsibility very seriously. The most rewarding thing about the work we do is whenever we see a customer able to communicate back to their loved ones. That is why we do what we do. vo were relentlessly committed to the network. So in times like this, we can all stay connected to work, school, and most importantly, to each other. Dont get mad. Get e trade, dawg. Thats like getting two desserts wait. Do we have to thank our moms twice . I dont know. Breyers combines 100 grade a milk and cream with real oreo cookies. Better starts with breyers. Seth were back with our friend amy poehler true story, the boys are watching parks rec for the first time yeah. That is pretty cool. Its pretty sweet. And ive, you know, ive been texting the cast to show them videos of the boys watching the show, which is awesome and it is and i dont just say this because i am on it. It is such a good show to watch right now because it makes you feel good. And its about a bunch of people working together to solve problems but its really funny because my kids are always like, mom, what happens . And im like, i dont know. [ laughter ] i dont remember i dont remember any of it its one long blur i mean, i remember shooting the scenes and how i felt when i was shooting the scenes. But the actual story of episode to episode i couldnt even tell you. So its pretty fun watching it again. Seth you we have been Marco Poloing a bit, which i enjoy. We have me and you and mike shoemaker, your producer, weve been Marco Poloing. And do you like marco polo seth i do. I think its really nice me too. You know why i realize i like is because facetime the young people really like facetime. I dont like facetime because you cant like, youre not really in control of it when it happens. Like someone can just facetime you, right, out of the blue. Seth right and i like marco polo because you can decide when you want to hear peoples messages and also you can fast forward people, which is what i always want to do is to tell them to go faster. Seth yeah. And they can do the same to me but its a very i feel like its a very gen x social app seth yes but, yeah, that two times speed thing is true story i once said to a podcast host that i love that i can listen at one and a half speed and it broke their heart. And i didnt realize that a lot of people think that they are perfectly sound producing at the right level. They dont want to hear you sped them up. Yeah. You dont ever have to tell them that you two times them. But, i mean, dude, everybody deserves that. Seth yeah, everybody deserves a two timer especially when youre like like, whoa, like, what a strange time it is right now its like okay, okay, okay seth are you also teaching your boys sign language . Well, okay, so, like, i dont like, a lot of working parents out there are maybe going through this, which is just, like, my kids arent learning anything. Like, theyre you know, because i will say the two things i didnt think were going to go away were touching and school seth yeah. I thought those things would still be around. So because school is gone now and theyre doing their online learning, im just stressed that theyre not learning anything. So, im like, youre going to learn one thing. So im teaching them the sign language alphabet. Seth thats great. Yeah, and were up to m and i make them do it every day to me. And thats it. Im hoping theyll get in college. Seth thats great. You but that will give them something to do with their hands because high fives are out, right . High fives are done i mean seth maybe done forever. We love high fives. Seth you are one of the you are a great secret high five ace. Thank you wow. That means a lot thank you. And im sorry seth you are you kind of know that though, right . You know that about yourself i do know that. Thank you. I do know that i also like that i enjoy handshakes because you know, my dad taught me how to do a good handshake. And i feel like when i shake peoples hands, especially men, theyre like kind of surprised that i have a Firm Handshake and you can get a leg up and you know i like to arm wrestle all the new people that i meet so seth yep i miss all those things seth and not just that you like to get them you tickle with the other hand youre like a arm wrestling over. Over arm wrestlings over so my friend rashida jones, she was talking about like, oh, were in a posthandshake world. And i had a bit of little grief about it because i do enjoy a handshake i mean, now its going to be like youre going to put the hand out and be like, ayy, like do the fonz like, youre going to take it slow seth the fonz is back. This is you mentioned it briefly, but i do want to talk about the fact that your show duncanville, animated show, is on the air yeah, it is on the air. You can check it out seth and you play both the voice of a 15yearold and his mother yeah. And duncan is, like, a 16yearold, like, very average teenage kid whos frustrated by everything and his mother is, you know, in parking enforcement. And she is worried that her son is going to screw everything up. So they yell at each other a lot, which is fun, to yell at yourself seth and thats with mike scully, whos one of the most talented, nicest, people in the world. Best guy mike and julie, his wife, cocreated this with me. And its on right now. And you can catch it on hulu as well and you can catch wine country on netflix is still there. I just finished moxie, which is going to be coming out on netflix. I think Nick Offerman and i are going to try to do some making it from home. Oh, thats so exciting. Yeah, were going to try to do stuff so we can raise money for charity, of course and try to get people to, like, make things that you know, from what they find in their junk drawer. So were going to ask the old makers from the show to help us. And nick and i will do what we always do, which is just kind of watch and be like, hmm, what you making good job. [ laughter ] seth you do it better than anyone anyone on earth. All right. You guys, were going to be right back with more amy poehler. When new smartphones are expensive, the family has to share one. Step up with boost mobile and get 4 free Samsung Galaxy a20 phones when you switch or dont and prepare to lose some furniture. Ooo. Got it step up with boost mobile and get 4 lines for 25 per line per month or dont and remodel the living room switch to boost mobile and get 4 lines for 25 per line per month with unlimited data, and 4 free Samsung Galaxy a20 phones, all on our super reliable, super fast network. Step up with boost mobile. Actually dry . Lets see. Its dry. Theres no dry time makes us wonder. Why we booked fifteensecond. Ad slots dries instantly and. Keeps you protected for fortyeighthours. Fechildrens claritin allergy relief. Ad slots dries instantly and. And relief from symptoms caused by over two hundred outdoor and in because to a kid, a grassy hill is irresistabale. Childrens claritin. Feel the clarity and live claritin clear. All the way out here just for a blurry photo of me. Oh, thats a good one. Wait, whats that . Thats just the lowbattery warning. Oh, alright. Now its all, check out my rv, and, lets go fourwheeling. Maybe theres a little part of me that wanted to be seen. Well, progressive helps people save when they bundle their home with their outdoor vehicles. So theyve got other things to do now, bigfoot. Wait, whatd you just call me . Bigfoot . My name is daryl. worried im not picking it up. You pick it up im not picking it up ill pick it up theyre clean raps cuz my hineys clean. Oh yeah im charmin clean. Charmin ultra strong just cleans better. Enjoy the go with charmin. There will be parties and family gatherings. There will be parades and sporting events and concerts. To help our communities when they come back together, respond to the 2020 census now. Spend a few minutes online today to impact the next 10 years of healthcare, infrastructure and education. Go to 2020census. Gov and respond today to make americas tomorrow brighter. Its time to shape our future. And even though tables are empty at the moment. Now you can be there for them. While the doors may be closed, the kitchens are open for delivery. We hid a treator blocking technology. From the ultimate nose. If it can block odors from that nose, it can block odors from yours. Be happy, its glad™. Wethe conference room. Ore. The speaker phone. The missing files. Not in the room . Then youre not in the know. Well, this has been nice, but can we not . Microsoft teams invites everyone you work with to work together. Be seen, be heard, be there when youre not. Share your files, and your opinion. And maybe even a happy little fruit guy. When youre ready to unleash the power of your team, open teams. Seth welcome back to late night, everybody. Senate Majority Leader Mitch Mcconnell gave an interview to conservative radio host hugh hewitt during which he claimed that the Trump Administration was too distracted by the impeachment hearings to properly respond to the coronavirus threat, which brings us to a segment we call really . With seth and amy. Seth really, Mitch Mcconnell . You haunted corncob doll the impeachment trial was too distracting . Really you realize that trial ended back on february 5th and your boy was still out here calling the virus a hoax until about a week and a half ago. Im not surprised youre trying to rewrite history since you made it clear youre not happy with some of the outcomes. I mean, really really . Yeah mitch, you think your boy trump was too distracted to think about the coronavirus . He was on trial for selling the country down the river and he was still out there holding rallies and playing more golf than a San Diego Dentist hes a multitasker hes a new yorker. Back in the day, he could bankrupt three companies in the afternoon and still have the energy to yell at his housekeeper when she set his tick tacs out wrong. Hes a selfproclaimed genius who can hold many complex thoughts in his head at the same time really seth really . And really, mitch . You albino river toad. We all know why you support donald trump and its not was you respect him. Its because having trump in charge is like hav teacher i mean, really, you get to buck the system, break every rule and steal everything you can and theres no one to answer to because he fell asleep the second he hit play on the vcr. Youre like those people who move into their dead grandparents house and keep cashing their Social Security checks only not as classy i mean, really really . Oh, and by the way, mitch, when trump heard about your little comment, he said, quote, i dont think i would have done impeached. So even trump does not buy your dumb argument. That must feel like getting a note back in sixth grade with the no box checked you know, all right. Dont worry about it, mitch. Youre gonna be okay really its not the first time people like you didnt get what they wanted seth really . Really. Well, this has been another segment of the world feels like its ending and no one is in charge. Seth no, amy, this has been really . Are you sure this is not a segment called the worlds ending and it feels like no one is in charge . Seth no, its just really . Really . Seth really. All right really virtual high five. Announcer this has been really . With seth and amy. So what will galaxy 5g really change . Way more than you think. Check out this game. Yes. Galaxy 5g means you will beat your friends what if i want to show my friend this little guy . Calling the whole gang is even better with galaxy 5g. Wait a minute, are you bored . Obviously imagine a future where the best seats in the house are in your hand. With galaxy 5g yelling its like being there. Without being there. Pepsi zero sugar all in the cola flavor. Nofthats a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. Our gummies contain a unique botanical blend, while an optimal melatonin level means no nextday grogginess. Zzzquil pure zzzs. Naturally superior sleep. Has the right to pizza night. Pizza which is why our pizza is cooked at 475 degrees, never touched after and available by noncontact carryout and free delivery. Peace of mind, always. By noncontact carryout and free delivery. whistle hi head to oldnavy. Com for up to sixty percent off everything thats up to sixty percent off everything at oldnavy. Com actually dry . Lets see. Its dry. Theres no dry time makes us wonder. Why we booked fifteensecond. Ad slots dries instantly and. Keeps you protected for fortyeighthours. Ad slots dries instantly and. Show me reality. Tv. Where my hobbits at . Play lord of the rings. Play my straight outta the shire playlist. I want to see the king. Find lebron. Search more cartns play the last o. G. Take me to the streets, play sesame street. Me want more cookies. Find the things you love with a voice command. Introducing at t tv. With live tv and access to streaming apps. Plug in and watch, with easy selfsetup. Shipped directly to you. 58 million latinos live in the united states. If we all participate in the 2020 census, we can ensure fair funding for our schools, libraries, hospitals, and other public services. The census is safe, its confidential, and our community is counting on us to do our part. We know who we are and how vibrant our community is. Lets make sure our nation knows it too. For more information, visit getcounted. Com, and to participate, go to census. Gov. Seth hey, its seth. Now that were up and running were gonna keep it going with all new shows next week. Well have new closer looks, and monday our guest will be my old friend tracy morgan. Well be right back with more late night. Thank you to fred armisen and the 8g band. Thank you all for watching these shows that were making from our homes. You guys stay in your homes and well all be better off. Stay safe. Wash your hands. We love you. See you next week. [ cheers and applause daniel tonight on a little late with Lilly Singh Lilly you know you had a good time when you wake up and go, oh, my god. Did i have sex with me last night . [ laughter ] daniel and lilly i love indian food [ laughter ] what they meant was, im a hollywood executive and i dont know what else to say to you, lilly. Daniel plus lilly aisha tyler and rob huebel at any point i want to change the story, im going to hit this bell [ ding ] well we started going out after that, and one thing led to another. [ laughter ] were talking about sex. [ ding ] just being friends [ ding ] im talking about now, we are cops were cops daniel coming up [ cheers and applause
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