Reading a. Chance to give me. Grano it was hard but you gotta make the best how you. Come up and live so i mean having graduate and i showed up. My mother was a crack seized to do crack when i was a kid or when she had me or whatever shes she dont belittle him or my dad he was like a just a thief so you know i got like what i needed when i was a baby but i had a bad childhood from 1st grade i was a cool kid i mean i really was a 1st grade to middle with us when i left my childhood which was bad and love with somebody else i was a family my moms friend and from like. Every since i left the house that i like and i went to another person and i swear i started doing bad stuff you know its being sneaky and i jot down a line down the remember i like 10th grade so when im on say you dont have to go to school if you dont want to so i said im down that never wore my school and i never want to go back to school i guess is in my blood so. I mean i was always. Just a big kid so and i always wanted to be better. I mean my minds made up i want to do this for the rest of my life so you know i mean its what ive. The. Trail that early people most of them have like them mentioned or park as then disease are some contests a sickness where they cant help with their self so i have to help them with deigning and clothing and feeding and things like that. And a lot of the people ive never met before so it gets kind of scary going to new houses and things like that but i guess you get kind of you so after a while. I got out that bell for a while and i let me try to resolve the how that does and then by rizal i just felt like i was another employee like i didnt make a difference in anyones lives thats when i decided to get mine are same degree ive been doing this for 4 years now. I have a. Nursing degree while suffocation i go again Nursing Homes and peoples homes. And i love helping people like thats my biggest thing i dont know god out of always had people reach out to help me a lot so im like why not give out like im such a caring person then. Mrs ealey yelled hey how was your day it was signed in see me on friday was everything ok. No i wasnt here for 2 on friday they called and told me not to come in oh. Youre not too hot. Ok are you hungry i want to be somebodys sandwich ok im going to put this on you if you get too hot you can pull it back down ok weve acknowledged it and we get something to eat. Helping people sit me means that disability anything me like if is just Grocery Shopping or reminding them to take their medicine or saying hey did you eat today let me fix you something me this anything whatever they need from me im willing to help because ive always struggled in life and ive always wanted someone to help me like that and i dont always have it so for me to be able to give back to people that there that makes a difference in me makes me feel warm inside. He sealy his assailants baby he set up a nothing yet i phone why isnt he but i say oh its. You hammer me tell ya still make you want to. Let go a lot is right here if you need it now see in a little bit. How right. I jot down dont like my life temporary so i barely want to have a job but you know i got to kid him every day you know im trying to do what i gotta do to take care i. Do everything i gotta do to take care of myself thats number one so you know me ive been just as hard on her you know i mean. People die every day people are gruel would bury their dead or in joe or my heart like that never mattered that everyone each. Time i used to be would be shot out of this out of copping out 30 to 60 years hes my i mean i was just what happens when you use god be smart when youre gone up so you know me in jail forever or ive been in kill someone here. 6 years on foot. I can do that i can maintain because im not going to yank some people for money im going to go get my money and i mean so i hustle and everything but i do it mostly for you know what i mean like to take care of anything i could think of this was they were my kid she grow up to be whoever but i think is better. And i mean be smart i hear when you have a kid you know what i mean but i protect my daughter you know what i mean shes i mean shes smartest shes just like me. Stay home because the sticks are used as they were john equestrian. The bus really gets here at like 720 s sometimes shes late you go to the daycare today though. And mom will pick your from the work. In the. Sports clothes political it. Starts with. Theres always been single mothers in africanamerican communities or says slavery or a sense they took the men out of the family stay create whats happening now this is just a continuation of was it started when they 1st brought us here in families that were there bafta american females flourish. I think its more of an issue these teenagers having kids in you can expect a 14 or 15 year old 1st daughter now old enough for him to be a father. And hes a child no one talks about that they skip all the way up and till they talk to the child after theyve done something and they blame it on him the father well your father was a kid and what he was in a man anything move into the house with your mom who was the same me 1516 i mean they can even drive you. Go to a club but they want them to be parents. It doesnt make sense. A lot of young women. Did 18 months Education Programs and or nursing is in the nursing field whether theyre nurses aides only up to nurses but. They make it to women straightness survival. Because if you figure if youre 14 or 15 and you had a child there is something in your household. That. Even want a child that isnt say i want to someone to love me. On them or my baby mother ok. When i was a ball like 17 years old i was on the internet i met some girl i started talking on the internet or whatever and i go with this girl is supposed to be this life going to girl but that is how i got there it wasnt to grow expect that i had the wrong person or my so was somebody i would never ever have a baby with my kids. You know what i mean i love the kid but the baby mama i really dont care about you know you got to do it you got to do something and. She grow up and be whatever but im overprotective were. Close throughout all the times im always going to be you know or you know i mean so im always closer i know where shes out so i take care of my child yes i do in a way down feel like she has nothing to worry about like. I want and she. Trusts because im our own father you see i ever need to go always the. Time is gone oh you know what i mean i feel like im Strong Enough to be like whatever she me i got. Like nowadays i got. Going to run this out for you ok and then ill bring it back. But i just want to make sure its playing that we dont have the drums around it ok so always safe than sorry. My day is pretty laid back maybe impregnate i dont have much lifting and things like that but if i wasnt pregnant then i would have to do a lot of lifting and cleaning and things like that im going to see you tomorrow ok. I. Put this out for you pick a sandwich up so i can take this back in the living. Ill see you later ok i love you. They can come and blow our brains out at any given time and we cant really do anything actually america is the only country in the world where you can kill people outside of war and legally get away with. All the fire crawls still brilliant all the trouble here street fail the point its hollow playing the k. K. K. Exists because america wants it to exist theres a biggest terrorist group to ever operate in this country and theyre dead to me theyre worse off than the people who destroyed the World Trade Center or the scroll. At this one of the boy his name is going to be jeremiah and if its a girl its going to be carrying. Im hoping for a boy though because i cant deal with another grows out of. This state house me with Health Insurance i get Health Insurance from the state i get food stamps on this day and right now i get on day care from them last night they help pay would they come in the big help in a way but soon as i start making star mana money i lose all that so its kind of like a win lose situation they help you up until 5 they feel like oh you make enough money to pay for this and then they stop helping you but right now they are helping me already all right. Lets. Put it on ive got something for you. Let. Us look out for you dont even have it in just about what. You got it isnt my little pony are you hungry. Yes. This is what i want to do i want to so drugs because you know just better or oh i came up in life you know i mean im still 100 percent going to be out here nobody can stop me i look at myself as im like a boss in macao no way because i can get issues i could get any drug telling you thats what i used to do to its like you know you know i go to jail a lot of been the show like 10 times so you know i mean is telling drugs getting caught with drugs. Was so i wanted the money or whatever and been a struggle china get the money and trying to be like maintain my so and make sure i got enough money to every mall pocket every single day so i messed with legit people to be how i am like to be in my predicament only has to mess with legit boss people in order to not i mean people understand me because you know i mean i want to show that she will not like play im trying to improve on. Like how rude how much of a boss i could be. Were. Did. She lie. What same. Street. Says he have a. Time when he. Had a lot of Family Member thats a sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. Song. Solve all the sixpenny. None of the cases. Have family is really hurting. Children was left. Without a father. And we just havent. Act was say 60 percent of the marriages as. Some. Want. It taught. And all we did. Person comes up the street came down here to see if they will stand. With. Me and on the. 4th. Part of the. Mark because thats make us mamas feel that we have to solve the case and thats not right. Ringback my childhood was pretty difficult my mom she was the only one of my life she she worked all the times i didnt really get to see air as i was either bouncing from family house or friends house and things like that she kept her wolf overhead but it was just i never got to spend time with her she was always working working working. Imanpa has been were going to separation right now. Im going to say he made some bad choices in life when it came to the lights of us and things a lot of women have trust issues i know i do trust issues is a big thing for me is hard to open up to im in trust down but a lot of females they feel like like with me i feel like a man is post up post the house hold their post to pay all the bills make sure were good so if we want to be a stay at home mom we can a lot of men al here arent like that anymore lake i dont know their mom they were raised the same way they all raised to be good men for. A lot of females status. Say they just had babies with anybody it doesnt go right man to be. Single parents. A lot of men that i know they are at a young age and it kind of follows them as they get older so people look at them and like he is a troublemaker or he is a crime maker or he sells drugs and they dont want to give them a moment on a 5 so they have to resort sued doing other things and sometimes its you got to make ends meet no matter how you do it even if this is the hustle or whatever you got to do people make ends meet my kids actually they have the same dad his name is malcolm in the one that im pregnant by is also their father also and. Even though im pregnant with this cell it is it is a joy i take it as a blessing because i know no matter what the guys not going to put mommy there what i can handle no matter what i go through. That im going to come out on the top because im determined to im going to be strong in a better way i have soup is already looking up to me now what the men know that no matter how hard life gets you will always make it on top of you try you cant give up because if you give up there people are going to give up on you. And. I will raise by my birth parents but i was raised by my grandparents and they were true grandparents they were. 30 when i was born. They say quiz a 15 year old has a baby and they have that baby has a baby at 15 or 16 thats the cycle of fear 14 or 15 and i are on welfare because now youre in a cycle. And you think people. In it because you grew up in a house when i want to work and take a. Check every 2 me. In it thats the problem. Theres no accountability in people. I dont think theres anything wrong with that. In communities where its still considered taboo that as i happen i think the main challenges for women. That have been resources. Or circumstances from the beginning of their childhood or young women are trying to be grown women in 20 years before 10. And maturation only is just not on work or socially or economically because 14 year olds cant me. A salary. Of an adult and i think. Our racism that africanamerican women face is more systematic and that i would even venture to say we experience more sexism and racism more said in africanamerican males. Yes shes going to come out were ultimately over a month. We actually lost our place and. My car you know breaking down and i was unable to get to work on time so they let me go and then thats how we end up in the shelter because again if you cant get to work and pay your bills you dont youre not going to have a home so youre only supposed to be at the shelter for 3 months i am in my 3 month span with my paycheck that i bring home i have literally enough to pay my Car Insurance and put gas in my car a 1000000 a lot like thats why its so hard for me get out the shows are going on like i feel we got money to pay my car favorite going to pay rent. Oh no. Its always let me call like i lost everything kind of rebuilding. We have income tax and that was able to help me get a little bit of my stuff back but that doesnt last forever as. Im hoping that i dont lose my job my main dream is. Give my own place like to own a house as my main touring is the own house and not have to go back to michelles or like never that im not anything ever but not sad to go in a shelter anytime soon and im hoping to be able to stay in a home have them be able to at least turn 18 and be on their own and be like ok mommy was strong like mommy was able to fight through it no matter way thats thats my enduring. It is hard im a its by the grace of god im not by hound that im still floating. I cry a lie thinking oh my god im going to do this with another child by a im hoping that i never has a result into selling things but if it happens hey it happens. Yeah were gone home. I unfortunately i cant let you guys follow me to us that away because the shelter doesnt allow you guys to be there so yeah it was nice meeting you by. Ah no team no crowd. No shots no. Action just felt. Well its true no 1st. Point your thirst for action. Bests drugs were at her cocaine as were 4 bucks for dia and just for the. Joy everybody use cocaine crack cocaine you can smoke it this is worth like 1530. 20. Score came to this is about a 15. 00 bet and people smoke this one bigger 2nd sweetie you dont find these drugs in any city in the United States that you walk along as you want to get about the. Make money. And thats what i did every day. But just to set a restaurant a blaze swallow a police chief quit says another African American dies at the hands. In the stories of the week protesters in seattle occupy 6 blocks of the citys. Entrance to. Protest the creasing militarization of the u. S. Police