Transcripts For CSPAN2 Dr. 20240705 : vimarsana.com

Shepr served as a first latina president of the anxiety and Depression Association of america. Through decades of work as a researcher, and author and an ad speaker she has been relentless in her goal of equipping everyone everywhere was skills to thrive. You may have seen her or her work in the washington post, the wall street journal forbes, the New York Times, good morning america, save the nation. Her latest critically acclaimed book bold move a threestep plan to transform anxiety into power, is a unique tried and tested method to get you out of your rut and give youou the courage o create a more confident and meaningful life. To achieve the goals. Then harris is a former news anchor all over the world current wars in afghanistan and iraq in the amazon. An onair panic attack he knew he had to make changes despite initial misgivings, he turned to meditation. Harris is the author of the book of 10 happier number one New York Times bestseller. He is also the host of the 10 podcasto and 10 Meditation App to lives in york with his wife, son and three. Please join me in giving a warm welcome. [applause] a bad time the cats got more of a reaction anything else. Can you imagine how fun the anxiety and depression organization of american is i . What are those conventions like . Works definitely not a lot of fun. As afo target rich environment r you, that is for sure. [laughter] exc had this impish desire now that i know cspan is here to throughout the f bomb is much as possible. [laughter] i wont i do not want to ruin the events. We talked before an unabashed longtime fan of yours. You have told with my own stuff that persists. Ive asked the question before but for this audience but he may by bold move . Its really leaving a value driven life. Aligning action with value. I dont beat like a grand bold move going for things you actually hear about. We see people are stuck to be avoiding and they just dont want to move. Is moved toward the things that matter the most. You cannot just rush headlong toward things that freak you out. This i has to be done, if i understand you correctly in a carefullu systematic way pay. Absolutely. Just do it. That does not work for anxiety and mental health. When you go heads on what you are doing is you are emotional urine fight, flight, or freeze. When you are there your frozen or you are so scared you cant do it. Just set up im asking for a friend here. Just say ear have claustrophobic your panicking in air planes how would you treat that . If you havent seen dan and i have an elevator moment together. The ideapy here is behind expose therapy. If you have claustrophobia what happens is you are terrified and small enclosed places. You are afraid youree going to run out of air comic would have a panic attack, going to be stuck and cannot get out of there. The idea is to train your brain that there is no line. The ideas is that i can do this even though your body is screaming that elevator is dangerous so to speak. But we did this but we did was chosen elevator that dan can handle. Ly and we had to time the elevator he was like no dan is not doing them. T. And then what did is we rode the elevator together for a while again and again. And thats the trick here. If youre anxious and you have any kind of anxiety, the trick is to loop not to expose yourself to the not just to expose yourself to the things that yourere afrd of. Because most of the time, and i think youve been through, this take the stairs, but not actually ride up and down, up and down, up and down, am i right . Yes. And so then once i felt comfortable, then i came off the elevate iser, and he rode it himself again and again. Approaching, not avoiding in a system ismatic way, and then when ben got really comfortable, then we got creativity and [inaudible] and then it got really fun. Fun was not the word [laughter] that i had in mind. But what i can say is that this, for me at least, works. Its not, and im just speaking from my own experience, a silver bullet. I mean, after we did the elevator ride, my panic came back about a year later, and i hadto to you dont live near me, so i had to go on elevators with somebody local to me. But it really did work. And now i can get i took an elevator here, and i can get on subways and airplanes. And so theres a way in which when you have panic, and and i suspect some people in this room do because with youre here, that when you, you know, treat it and then the it comes back, you feel like youre square one. Youre incurable. But i found through going throughse setback after setback that i feel oddly empowered now that i know i can deal with it. Does that make sense . 100 . I think youre right. Finish [inaudible] and it comes back, requirement . But i comes back, and oh, my god, ivee made no strides or what do i have you went back to training, right . The same way that if youre exercising youre exercising your brain, i similarly have a fear of heights. And so any opportunity to do anything that involves highings, i take it. Because i know if i dont, therell be a moment that i might again hit that wall. And i think its not just for panic,fo but for anything that youre afraid. Sometimes its asking for a raise, sometimes its conflict. This idea of approaching and not avoiding in a systematic way. This works if you do it. What as the connection between this approach that you were talking about, the the approach approach, and value . If you used the word value before. I didnt quite understand how that fits in here. The things that are most important to us, love, fallly [inaudible] and up i think this kind of life is not a aligned with our values. We dont end spend much time thinking about what are the values that matter the most p. I spend most of my life and my career [inaudible] and ambition was a really important value to me. And so ive created both. Im aligned with both. I i want to be at harvard, then i want to be assistant professor andes then associate professor. And my goals were aligned with that value [inaudible] but eventually i hit a major wall at work, and i was so stuck. And and i couldnt figure out why. Y. And one of the reasons is that ambition was no longer the value that was driving me. And what really, and the reason will be ambition is so important is growing up in brazil, growing up poor, i had so much diversity that id [inaudible] were all going to be able s to get out of where we started. And so what i had to do is not this approach, but what matters right now. What is that value that can work for me. And ive got three values that today are really important to me, impact, health and family. And i literally every week when i look at my calendar for the next week, i look at my meetings, and ill outline what im doing to insure that my values and actions are aligned. So is even though im approach not avoid are, im approaching so that im not just running and spinning and not doing things that actually fuel me and make me a better person. And it is your argument that when were not aligning our lives with what we actually care the c most about, that that can breed anxiety . 350 articles published [inaudible] therapy would suggest that when life is not aligned with values, you have depression, you have anxiety, you have a low selfesteem, and the opposite is also true. When you aline it, you have better quality of life. So its not that im not anxious, by the way. Sitting here right before we started, my palms [inaudible] im, liker, luana, its okay. It doesnt last as long. You can sort of ride that wave a lot faster. Ive got to up my intimidation game. [laughter] so scary, you know. Well, i was scary when i wore suits back when i was a newsman. What was i going to ask you in . When you talk aboutab the value, your values, you mentioned health, impact and family. So youre saying theres no ambition anymore . I certainly im ambitious, but the its not but its not how im choosing what i do. For example, any opportunity that got me [inaudible] id have take it. Because the way i defined it a letter . [inaudible] today impact, so, for example, ill give you a great example. I just got asked to speak at a nonprofit for Domestic Violence survivors. And [inaudible] and my if thought was why would i say yes to this . Financially, we we need the income, and its because of [inaudible] mymyuf mom suffered in domestic violation, so i wanted to be able to do that. The ambitious part of me was, well, that doesnt really pay well, so im not doing it. Does that help paint a picture . Youre not saying money doesnt matter, youre just not fore grouched foregrounding it. Thats exactly right. Its not a balance on this extent . Or its, like, on average am i living a life that is, you l know [inaudible] other people and, yeah, i want to make income. But its interesting, you dont have maybe, maybe making bank is just sort of understood within impact and family . Youy know, youre not listing t as the forty value, youre just not letting it steer you. Thats exactly right. O. K. Thats exactly right. Wealth is definitely a value thatss important to me, and everything that i do in thatten cob text [inaudible] context, but values to guide me, its really hard to then sort of know whats e the yes and the no to. Righting . And so i really think about, okay, how do i choose what i say yes to and no, and those three values are really important. Lets just go back to the basicas blocking and tackling of managing high anxiety. Aping ayety and panic in anxiety and panic in a acute situations. We talked about being in an elevator, but for people here it may be any number of things, asking for a raise, it could be just the background static of paranoia that we live with or whath happens when we watch the news. You have techniques that we can use in those moments when were approaching that can help us approach with some degree of equanimity. Can you talk about what falls in that category . The most important thing for all of you to learn today, i think, and the thing that got me to sit here with all of you is understanding that although aping soity painful, anxiety itself is not the problem. The problem is psychological a avoidance which is what we do when were anxious. We dont take the sell violater sell slater, we elevate or, we a take the stairs. We dont, ask for the raise. We walk into the other room and just turn on the tv. So we avoid again and again. And i think [inaudible] when we are worried, what happens to thatting satyr . Faces it completely. [laughter] comfortable than the elevator. The problem is if youre an urgent situation or youre traveling somewhere and hour in a plane, youre having a panic attack. Now were stuck. Yeah, it starts to rob you from your life. And so so i backed off from these skills because i think the first thing is even understanding why youre and for most of us is avoidance skills three skills in the book shift approach in a line weve talked about approach a lot of writings this idea of going towards this comfort in the book i talk about technical the opposite action which comes from dialectical behavioral therapy and basically ideas is exactly the that you avoid what one step you can take to go to they think is 80 or the fear they can handle it right so and there is an i like the idea of opposite action because something you can use today. So if youre afraid of dating for example, maybe going on a date tonight, does like too much. But could you text with the person . Could you do a phone chat . Could you set up a walking conversations that of a whole date. Is there an opposite action against that . This comfort that allows you to approach . Does that help on the approach there . Yeah, absolutely so shift is really changing the way we talk to ourselves. Dont know about you guys. My brain sometimes can be a really like he says things that i would not say to anybody. How is that going to go . Is cspan. I it on purpose and how we do it . No, im being told its. Fine. Okay. Well, the reality is what we say to ourselves would say to our best friends, right. We just wouldnt. We dont talk to other the way we talk to ourselves and thoughts are not facts, but we believe them. We them. And we then allow those thoughts to move towards things that take us away from the things that matter. And so shift just widening your perspective and, a quick way to do it. If my friend was in this situation, what i say to them right, and i use this all time whenever im anxious and terrified my brain still says things. The one that youre not smart enough know you cant handle this people going to laugh have you. Why would you say that . And i often go, no, that is not, you know, the narrative that i had when i was 15 and inches in brazil. Thats not where i am anymore. And just being able to say that brings that anxiety down. Yes, i have. I have. I found suggestion to be they can possibly hokey and annoying and forced and and all the things that i dont like but i have found that doing that talking to myself the way i would to my son or to my wife or to a good friend is incredibly effective and one that i have a million things to say about this, but one of the things that i believe you explain to me is that the man im probably going mangle my brain anatomy here. But the fear part of the brain amygdala back here, the ancient part of the brain, when thats online, when youre freaking out, if can bring online, the more evolved parts of the brain, the prefrontal cortices, then you take the fear part offline. And so you are counterprogramming against the lizard. Thats exactly right. And theres so much science behind. And i suppose even if youre really anxious then talking about taking a piece of paper and writing down your thoughts and writing out what wed say to your best. And you did hate that suggestion. When i first gave it to you. Hes like, oh, well, it works because, you know, we are active in the prefrontal cortex. And they literally an inverse relationship. So when you are really anxious to want to turn on your thinking brain and you have to force it on because the brain designed predict and protect. So if you are fearful, the brains thinking theres something bad the amygdala is going to try to override it. But you actually can just the amygdala by turning on the prefrontal cortex Something Else and i cant if weve talked about this in the past, but Something Else i believe theres quite a bit of evidence for is and this is even more is putting your hand on your heart or hugging yourself. You cant believe im suggesting this, but theres significant amount of data that suggests that works. I mean, anything that can sort of pull yourself down being present in the moments right meditation, mindfulness. Im just being me was just sort of slow down. I mean, as simple as even naming. Youre feeling anxious, right . Emotion just seems to say my hearts pounding my heartsns pounding, it sls town. A sec anemic technique that was recommended to me by the shrink i was working with here in the new york area was to number it. Are you familiar with ia uhhuh. So he would say how bad is it right now . If is it out of 0 . Its a 9. Okay, what is it now . 9. 5. That is bringing the prefrontal cortex online, and you watch it, it moves and goes back up, and all of a sudden you see it its not as monolithic as you might have imagined. I think of it as they are mommer the that goes from 0100, and just to be able to know is 100 youre having a heart attack, and im not there. 010, it doesnt matter what the number is. And by numbering it, youre labeling again where you are, and youre activating that thinking brain, and youre like, okay. And i handle this, all right . Most of the time we can. Its just anxiety. Were talking a lot about acute situations, but what about generalized anxiety disorder or people just Walking Around with, you know, just sort of a baseline of anxiety . If people are medicated, whats your take on that condition and theco most common treatment whih appears to be zahn nix . Xanax . [laughter] that doesnt work with me, by the way. [laughter] so is its a type of anxiety disorder, think of it like an umbrella. Under it youre going to have socialanxiety disorders, generalized anxiety disorder. Its a spectrum. There are no symptoms or a lot ofom symptoms, and when we put thisis words the word disord, were talking about the [inaudible] or the stress. Is this affecting your life or making you really upset . The one that is or worrying about worrying. Finish and so basically, you know, like monkeys jumping from tree to tree and youre just worrying and and worrying and worrying, and biologically when you worry, it e brings your physiology down,l so you feel like youre actually doing something, but youre not really thinkingu as was established. And many people have thicks lik [inaudible] difficulty with concentration, tension, muscle tension, headaches, all a part of qed. And the treatment really is more in the [inaudible] approach. The meditation slowing town the brain, being able to understand that, you know, worryings not fixing anything, but its less on what weve been talking about. Is medication e never appropriate . Id e never say never. I think medication is very appropriate. For panic though. Its one of the few disorders that we know that xanax, valium is not recommended because enter for panic. For panic. Its not it is not recommended. And this is why. What youre trying to do with a. [inaudible] if what is xanax doing . Its basically saying i can only handle this if i take xanax. So if youre overwith riding the training overraiding overriding the training, i did many studies on xanax, and we a had to take people off of it it because they would notx get better. If otherwise, you know, anxious and every time they got they had a san knacks with them or they had the xanax in the water. And even though they may not take it, the xanax became, you know, the safety finish for them. Maybe im an outlier here, but when i went through i had a resurgence of panic in the fall which we talk about, and i had to travel for work. My doctor gave me to get through some of those thflights. But then i was very aggressive about doing the therapy so that now i can do it without the zahn nafntle so zahn xanax. So it helped me as a bridge so so i could function until i could taper. Very appropriate. Okay. So whats not appropriate is to do whats not recommended. But for some people, thats the only way to do it, take it as the only way because [inaudible] e if tolerance. You need more and more and more and [inaudible] more and more and more. And so i t think, for example, i wasg working with somebody, i s working with a patient and to even consider the therapy, right, which she had to be to be on medication first, but it was a clear plan with me and her sigh e chi tryst of how are we going to wean it off. She couldnt take it right before session, for example. For panek, i think you and i talked about this, but theres a technique called intrasentive exposure. So things like hyperventilating, spinning, breathing out of a straw. And its very effective to treat panic disorder. But if you come in with a xanax, i dont have its like, lets hyperventilate, okay, its fine. Got it. That mix a lot of sense. We were talkinger about generalized anxiety disorder which i think its pretty common right now, and even if you dont have a diagnosis, you might just find yourself worrying a lot. You said that one of the most effective modalities is medication combined with cognitive behavioral therapy. What is that and how does it work . Why does it work . It isnt hard to figure out in psychology, as you know. How it works so the idea is by medicating, webbing even talk about the we can talk about the benefits of medication, but what we see is were the brain. Youre not engaging [inaudible] but the is youre trying to, like, fix your worry by worrying, ask and so you get stuck, and you start deleting those thoughts. So the medication [inaudible] and thenan the cbt technique is are similar to what we talked about, and and this idea of helping people to really change their thinking or to approach things. They have [inaudible] so that youre not just worrying, youre actually separate eyes eyeing strategizing. Versus just [inaudible] along. I mean i. Not a researcher but my understanding of of at least it works for me and i think i think this is a reasonably Accurate Answer for. The general population is in mindfulness meditation and some of you may practice it. You generally as a beginner you try to focus on one thing. Usually its the feeling of breath as it naturally occurs in the body. And then every time you get distracted, which will happen a million times, you start again and again and again and people that they have failed as meditator when they notice how while mind is that actually the of the inner chaos is proof success and that thats really important because you want to get familiar with how crazy you are because the more you see the the random thoughts the, the inappropriate urges, the homicide plans, the more you see that, the less owned you are by all of those. And so then when youre you know off the cushion, not meditating and youre tempted to freak out or, you know, Say Something as often joke that will ruin the next 8 hours of your marriage, youre less likely to do it because. Youre you are aware that you have this nonstop stream of consciousness so that i think is is the is how it works as it pertains to anxiety. And i would also say depression and and pretty much anything else that ails the animal. Absolutely. And i think for me, the way i think about is take you behind the curtain. My brain like being able to and you sort of start to look at it and youre like, what is that right . And the more you the more youre able to not engage with it. Right. Youre not trying to fix it. Right. I think thats really an important piece. Youre not trying to sort of pause and meditate and try to fix it. Youre just observing so that in the day to day, you dont have to engage with those parts you know, for me, i do this all the time. Theres a great theres a great expression if selfknowledge is always bad news. [laughter] because if you sit and med9 tato be humiliating. And thats why my job is to interview the greatest meditation teachers, and the common denominator among all of them is they have a sense of humor. You cant close your eyes and look at the mind without realizing that its ridiculous. Its ridiculous. And that is actually a rib rating insight. Liberatinges insight. It takes a while. You have to get through the i humiliation first, but after a while you dont take it personally. Its just the wayig were designed. And that is, that is a deep insight. Howho was it sitting there wh the dalai lama . Like, i saw your whole episode with him. Yeah. Hes great. I love him. [laughter] a like the least controversial thing i could say. Finish hes amazing, you know . I, i am a pretty skeptical person and anything that reeks of traditional organized religion is not super attractive to me, and so here he is as the headea of a huge religious organization, literally wear withs robes and funny hats and all that stuff, and you just if you sit with him and talk to him or if you just sit in the room with him, theres Something Different about this guy. And it was i mean, this was the third time, maybe the fourth time ive interviewed him, but this time i spent a couple weeks with him in india. Its just watching the effect he has on people is really incredible. I can only imagine. I brought a cameraman with me from new york who ive covered School Shootings with, political campaign, all the types of things that we as journalists cover, and this guy tommy kay, an good irishman from delaware, and he had no idea who the dalai lama was. And the first i mean, he knew, hes seen caddyshack, he understand [laughter] but he was not a follower of the dalai lama. He didnt care. And the first day we arrived, he spent an hour filming the dalai lama greeting locals, local people came to just get a blessing from the dally lam a ma. Dalai lama. And this hard, tough as nails cameraman came over to me afterwards, put his camera down and cried and hugged me and said thank you for bringing me. And that is i was just seeing that happen all the time. Obvious, im, you know can of course, im a tin man and didnt cry at all [laughter] but i do feel moved in his presence. And im not the type of person who is prone to those feelings. When i watched you, it was like, oh, my gosh. Such a feeling seeing sphwhri. Yeah, its pretty great. And, again, hes another example of if you 80 years meditating, he has a really good sense of humor. And i think how could that not be . Anytime i meet somebody whos, you know, a meditator or in the happiness zone and they take themselves too seriously, my fraud detection goes up in a pretty prominent if way. Lets, rather than me yammering and askingli questions, i would love to hear from you guys, get a sense of what we can talk about that would serveve you directly. David has a mic, so if you raise your hand, he will come to you and let you ask a question. Okay. You know, its always the first person is the most brave and opens the floodgates, so thank you. Whats your nature . Grace. Thank you. Im super anxious [laughter] knox [inaudible conversations]h one question that i have is what are your thoughts about the use ofca cannabis for anxiety . Were going to start with the hard question, see. [laughter] so let me tell you the truth, i dont know a lot about it. You know, i know theres some data coming out, and so what i can tell you is about writtenically what ive seen, i dont know clinically what ive seen, i dont know what the research is. What ive seen clinically i from my patients is its a form of avoidance. They feel really anxious, they smoke, andthey feel better. And the next day they feel anxious, they spoke smoke, and it becomes this patter. It becomes really hard. My suggestion for patients is to stay away from it if they have anxiety, because ive seen this make it worse. The other way i talk about it with patients is its a sort of experiment. Lets try not to smoke for a month and see whatse it does for your brain. What does your brain look like if youre not doing cannabis an [inaudible] right . And i think sometimes people have used it for so long that they dont even know what it meals like k not to have it, and so those are two things i do clinically. I dont know the. Science. I haventci followed. Does that help in. Yeah, thank you. Pleasure. Dont go get baked when you get home. [laughter] who else . Please dont be shy. [inaudible] , oh, i love it. And you have a great voice. You should have your own podcast. You mentioned [inaudible] do you find working out helps you with your anxiety in the morning . Great question. Three things will help that are free,th eat, sleep and exercise. So those three things are super important. For me, certainly, i need to exercise. So really anxious. And the way i managed my emotions growing up was eating them. Soing cookies, id be anxious, id beg my mom not to go to school,fa and id stay home and eat a bag of cookies. I just recently lost 60 pound, it was a struggle to lose it again, and and so i vowed to, like, now health and moving my body. Its hitting the gym, its going for a walk, its dancing with my kids the shakira. No matter what it is, were goingg to get some movement. Scientifically we knowan eat, sleep and exercise, and thats going to chain how you manage and how much anxiety you have. Exercise and eating well and getting enough sleep. He used an animal analogy. I remember coming back to him a couple months later and i said remember how you told t me thati needed to take care of myself like a stallion questioning said no, i sent a thoroughbred. [laughter] but i heard stallion. [laughter] but the point remains that is the way it one of the best ways to prevent anxiety and panic is to make sure you are healthy and happy. And your nervous system is operating on full blast rather than tilt. Exchequer batteries i make sure you are full. What this might be a long question so i apologize i would love to hear your story how you got to where you aredi today. Do what you did, do what you do. Thank you. I can give me the cliff notes on it. It was my mom cut my sister and i, my mom is sitting here my sister sitting right here. This is my niece. My nieces hereto. And theres a lot of friends. It was hard at home at first. Theres a lot of Domestic Violence. I come from a culture where Domestic Violence was accepted. What might mom went there i got to graduate school and were talking about what constitutes a trauma and i said that was so traumatic. But my mom did a really great job as a single mother working hard. And really thought my emotions and approach them as much as i could. My grandmother had no College Education but have a lot of wisdom. When i became terrified of people i decided everyone thought id be a weirdo i came from a small town and she did to me what i did to dan. She forced me and dragged me to the mall, maybe talk to strangers. And i gotta guess i wasnt prone toward social anxiety she caught the avoidance just at the right time. Front that i have this dream to eventually come to laugh and i got here is premed i took a psychology class and i love this. It made no sense in my brain. When i got to graduate school a lotce of the concepts my grandmother had taught me. Is really, really upset. I remember with this think about which class would ever is in your brain is what you do. A then i get as and i dont stay. Biology i get seasonally study all the time. Why are you trying this medicine then . And being able to approach was very value driven. Does that give you . [inaudible] she really the question was about values and what was my grandmothers thoughts on values. She really cared about helping other people changing their beliefs that the way we sell the world was too limited. And the stories we tell ourselves. They change the tape how do we she would help interstate kids a lot of the work i do today is helping innercity kids that did not have any toys at christmas. That Value Service to humanity certainly came from her. Hi, my name is daniel, thank you for being here. Im from northeast of brazil ive been in the u. S. Rs for the last 20 years or so. I want to ask you a question. I want to talk about how you maintain your values and paper ticket when they go against the rival values the u. S. Is a very driven society. Thekn notion people site you wat money for supper the same thing. Lets not an easy thing too put up. No. And that was all the time. Theyey collide with the people e marry. They collide with the people we work with. They collide with society. We sometimes compromise. I just had this happen for me at work. Because of what i wanted to do but this is how i think about it. As friendly, what matters and how to do that without compromising other people. There is a bit let me give you an example at work i had a conversation that was really hard. When i said im quitting. I cant do this. This is nearly killing me because institution values are not aligned. But i have your back. I know you do but the institution doesnt. Out of that conversation it took six months for me too get an agreement that i would stay there. Make asset they were not relevant i was going to do it. To go as far as my bounce driven life. Taught im not going to lie. It really took me nearly having a stroke that stroke turned out to be a severe migraine. I lost sensation and half of my face. That moment ive come compromising myself for everybody else. You showing up and no im not. I am for the values on the day y today is important. And that means leavitt relationships leave work environments because literally not good for you. Anything else . On the theme of me in the strange position i do think this cliche, of listening to your heart which has been the type of thing that put a little vomit right here. Its actually based in some common sense and to science for this reason we have a lot of expressions. Senior got there is an intelligence that exists it often is north and time difficult intuition. You cannot listen to it 1000 of the time. But to have your mind open to the messages your body is sending you is a different way in a very powerful way of knowing and thinking about what is right in your life. Theres an expression becoming little wellknown now is a fullbodied yes. That can point you in eight it y good direction. Your life is not organized in a way that is good for you but that is something listed. I fully agree. It wasnt meeting dan armament reading him for an app and i had so much fun. And i paid attention. My base wouldve sucked but the hour and half with dan was so fun. And honestly she was literate agent who got me my literary agent music you want to write a book, write a book. And ive got all gone. [laughter] accident shes planning her next book. Which is about transitions which means what . The world has gone to a major aggressions of the pandemic its of value to realignment. In the way itr think about transition is the first step is the ending. Think about any transition in here life. Something has to let go. We spend a lot of time avoiding reality. Does it we had to like reality but i have to look in my life this is no longer works. I teachable to really understand the transitions print helping them and the transitions faster to not transfer pain to suffering. And then the in between. Youre not at the new place yet pretty or not and the old and they hate dissidents. And so it really understanding how values work before you get to what youre going to do. What is the why there . Really understanding your personal line. And then getting to the what. Helping people transition that way so that might come up to create their business a plan or a new relationship they know who they are, but they anchor on the key values of the transition that is the book. I love that. Some people talk about values its easy to write that off as a preachy or an empty cliche. But it is really about what is going to effectivelyin motivate you to do things . We are motivated by extrinsic values. Were looking at the cultures telling us to do. Or our parents. We check certain boxest or looa certain way. Or get into the right school. Or get the right job. Its not actually but we want to do. This is hard to do and it takes time we can tune into what your intrinsic values are. That is a real clean burning fuel. It will take you further. It just worked thinking about what do you care about . Really, what you care about . Thank that guide the way. It is a great points. I know about values but it was not until i hit a wall that i learned. I know behavior frank change my thinking. It was my own transition and transformation that illustrated for me how a driven life has energy. I give hills good but you send that to me when we met you like who are you . Quick she would change the first time i met you this time. You seemed much looser and happier that they were delightful the first go around. [laughter] were also shoving me into an elevator thats part of the problem. [laughter] you are a great example of walking the walk. We all pretty much have time but thank you for writing a book and helping so many people. Inviting me here tonight im convening this audience. Thank you so much. [applause] thank you everybody. [applause] weakens as events to our intellectual feast. Every saturday American History tv documents americas story and on sunday bk tv brings you the latest inonfiction books and authors. Funding for cspan2 comes in these Television Companies and more including media calm. media calm we believe that whether you live here, or right here, or wait out in the middle of anywhere you should ask us to fast global internet. That is why we are leading the way im taking you to 10g. Media, along with these Television Companies support cspan2 as a public service. Cspan student cam documentary competition is back celebrating 20 years with this years theme looking forward while considering the past we are asking middle and High School Students to create five six minute video addressing one of these questions in the next 20 years what is the most important change you like to see in america . Or, over the past 20 years what has been the most important change in america . As we do each year we are giving away 100,000 in total probably is but the grand prize of 5000. Every teacher who has students participate in this years