Good evening. Happy saturday of the 22nd annual fall celebration. Wisconsin book festival. I just really want to thank you all for being a part of this. Literary magic is what i am referring to it as because really is its so wonderful. See all of you in the library enjoying these amazing author talks about amazing books. I want say i invite you to share your experience on social media. Use the hashtag wri book. And yeah just let other people see how much fun were and hopefully inspire them to come again because well be keeping it going tomorrow. So i didnt introduce myself, so ill do that. Im jane rotunda, am the director of the book festival, and im really, really honored to be here with you all and to be putting these amazing author events tonight. Its a true honor. I use the pronouns. She her and i want to start by also thanking the Madison Public Library. I want to thank the Madison Public Library foundation. Its because of their support and festival sponsors that were able to provide these free public to our community. Its its why its all possible. And this is a special, an important moment that im really honored to take part in is in drews intraday using our author for this event, skyler baylor, an author educator advocate. He uses the pronouns he him. He is also the first transgender athlete to compete in any sport on an Ncaa Division one mens team. Is skylers exemplar work has earned him numerous honors, including nyc grand marshal. The out of 100 lgbtq nations instagram advocate of the year and and the harvard varsity directors award. Skyler also hosts his own podcast, dear skyler on gender and culture and is the creator of the groundbreaking lane changer ecomm gender literacy Online Learning syrias series. He holds a degree in the cognitive and, cognitive neuroscience and evolutionary from harvard. Schuyler baylor didnt set out to be an advocate. His very public transition to the harvard mens swim team put him in the spotlight, and his choice to be open about his transition share. His experience has touched people around the world. Tonight, well get to hear him talk about he she they and his book skyler offers an essential and urgent guide that the conversation about gender identity and how we talk about it antitransgender legislation is being introduced in the states governments around the us and groundbreaking numbers. Trans people are under in sports and Health Care School curriculum, bathrooms, bars in nearly every walk life with a relatable narrative in facts, science and history. Skyler helps restore common sense and humanity to a discussion that continues to be divisive, coopted, and deceptively politicized. He doesnt stop there. He she they is more than a book on allyship. It also speaks to trans folks directly answering the question, does it get any better . Will it change with a resounding yes celebrating radical trans joy he or she has been as myth busting, affirming, compassionate and fierce, and a crucial, urgent and lifesaving book that forever changes the conversation about gender. Skyler, we could not be more happier and honored to have you with us this evening. Please join in welcoming scott skyler baylor baylor. Thank you so much. Im really excited to be here. Ive never been to madison so im. How many of you are actually from madison . Okay. A lot of you. How are you . Not from madison . Okay. Also a lot of you. Impressive. Okay, well, im that you all came to here to this talk and to this amazing book festival. Im. Im so honored to be here. And, you know, im going. Im going to do a little reading in a moment, but i before i do that, i. I was just reflecting, showing up in this space as a mixed race. Koreanamerican, asian, queer, transgender man. Theres a Little Something in there for everybody, right . As myself, you know, as my whole self. And earlier, i spent about an hour and a half with a group of trans kids. They they like its like a support group for trans kids in their families. And i watched all these kids like running around this field just having a good time. You know, these little kids, theyre, you know, six years old, five years old, ten years old, 14 years old. And theyre just having fun. I mean, one of them threw a soccer ball at me, was like, can you juggle . I was like, with my hands or with feet. And they were just like, i was like, okay, lets play. You know, there were so excited to just hang out and. And i watched all these kids running around and i thought, gosh, this is what i needed when i was a kid, you know, this is what i never had. And whats beautiful is i get to watch it now from a place of a lot maturity that i didnt have at time, but also a lot of grief. Right . A lot of grief for what i, i wasnt able to hold. And then another layer of grief, thats what maybe these kids wont be able to keep. Right. And the reason im sharing that is because their joy was so unbridled and so beautiful and so special and its so endangered right now. And when we think about kids being endangered, i think about all of us being endangered. And so when we think about this conversation about gender and conversation thats attacking trans people, its actually all of us. And i hope to have delivered some of that message through my book so im a im to start with a reading and im going to im just to i like to go and order. Im a rigid rules guy, except not in gender. So im kind of broke that one. So im going to im going to do the introduction and read for about 10 to 15 minutes and then really want to open up for for conversation with you all, because thats really what this is about, a conversation. So you have questions. Please make sure that you hold on to them just for a little bit because i will make time for questions. And if youre in the back and you want to come sit down. Yeah. Awesome. Cool. Great. I dont bite. Theres no splash. Im all right. Cool. Introduction. I am just who i am. We walk out one at a time in alphabetical order. My last name begins with b, so am first. I can feel my heart in my ears. The sound held inside my head by my silicone cap. A little echo chamber from washington, d. C. , freshman baylor. The announcer booms. I know everyone watching me. I know ive done this on a thousand occasions before, but this time is different. Underneath my crimson warmups, there is no longer a one piece swimsuit. Women usually wear. Instead, im wearing a tiny little speedo. Im now on the mens team. Hundreds of articles have been published about my switching from the womens to the mens transgender swimmer. They all write some attack me for my history saying ill never be a real man. Others make my history of an eating disorder into meaning that i am just a deluded woman with body issues. Many claim is no way i could keep up with with much less beat other from beautiful competitive to mediocre, ugly man. One commenter wrote on a National Profile about me as i stand by the edge of the pool waiting for the rest of my teammates to join. Im 15 again, standing in my womens swimsuit behind the blocks with girls from my relay. I remember the confidence, the feeling of knowing i could do exactly what i had set out to do. I remember rush of the natatorium going silent. I put my hand over my heart. My prematch ritual. My fingers and thumbs straddling my swimsuit strap on my shoulder. I had done this at the start of every single meet during the singing of the national anthem. I remember staring out at the pool as the music, and i took a deep breath, imagining the final stroke of my race. I take a deep breath now, staring out at the pool as i do College Swimmer everything feels so different. Ive never alongside 38 college guys before. Im at a pool. Ive never raced in. And it feels like all eyes are on me. But as always the water resembles beautiful blue glass. And i breathe a sigh of relief. This is different, but its also the same. The same 25 yard pool, the same 100 yard breaststroke race, the same breaststroke ive done since before i. Could remember the same echoing acoustic that make hearing so difficult. The same chlorinated air that makes everyone cough the same. Take your mark up before we launch off the blocks. Its all the same when the team is gathered along the edge of the pool, the natatorium. We stand in identical clothing and the anticipation dances my fingertips when i am this nervous. The most nervous. I imagine. The blood is rushing my veins like whitewater, rapids. When the star spangled banner begins to play, i instinctively begin my preemie ritual. But this time my fingers seeking shoulder strap find nothing. In that moment, i realized that while everything is the same, its also different. Its also new. For the first time in my life, im competing as just myself without baggage of who everybody told me to be, who everybody said i was, who thought i was supposed to be. Today i am just who i. Im skyler. My eyes. Well, with. More than 19 years of stumbling to get here. Just a few months ago, i was ready to quit swimming. A year ago, i was ready to quit the world and life altogether. But today i, standing tall, a proud queer transgender swimmer on harvard mens swimming dive. The first openly transgender athlete to compete. Any d1 mens team in the ncaa, a. Of course. Surviving my first meet and not getting last. I got fifth. Did not that everything was easy from then on. It would take my teammates the rest of the year to consistently gender me correctly. It would take me nearly three years to feel comfortable around them. And all the years since came out are still not enough to dispel all the hatred and bigotry about transgender people, especially in athletics. Over next four years, i not only became the first and at the time only athletes to have competed for the team that aligned with their gender identity. All four collegiate seasons. But i also became a wellrespected educator on trans inclusion. I never knew where this journey would take me when i began. The first speech i gave was at my own high school the night before i was awake until two or three in the morning attempting to write the speech itself. Dozens of draft in the trash. I had no idea what other people would want from me. What should i tell them . What could they learn . Me . That was better received than i had expected. Some students even said it was the best theyd experienced. So as word spread. One speech led to another. By sophomore year, speaking was the primary way i spent my free time. By graduation 102 speeches were in the books. Despite regular assurances that what i had to say was valuable to others, i often found myself perplexed over why wanted to listen. I was a college kid who wanted to swim when news outlets would call me an advocate or an activist, i would them. No, you only think that im an activist. I insisted because i am a trans swimmer and im talking about it before every single speech wondered to myself, why are they here . Why do they care . And only rarely was the answer clear. I was talking to a group of swimmers or trans folks like me. We were comrades, but most the time i spoke with people with whom i had little to nothing in common, or so it appeared. I tried to imagine the perspectives, the audience members, the students, coaches, administrators, teachers, mental professionals, medical providers, or employees at a bank. How could i connect with them . Because in the end, the inability to connect is what breeds hatred and bigotry. That is connection, is the essence of our humanity itself. At a small school in northern vermont, i gave a speech to a room filled with student athletes. It was a standard event. I shared my story and provided on trans literacy before opening questions. After the event, a group of students gathered in line, waiting to. Talk to me. A young man approached, explained he was on the wrestling team. He said, you know, before i came here today and met you, he paused. I nodded and waited patiently. Before i met you, he began again. I was nervous about. People like you. My girlfriends best friend, bisexual, and i used to make me uncomfortable. Im not homophobic anything, but i didnt want hang out with her. He stared at the floor and then glanced back at me as. He admitted this. I didnt say anything yet. I wasnt sure where this was going. But now ive met you. And youre just like me. Were both just athletes. Were just guys. He looked directly me now. So now i understand. I began to smile, relieved at another speech at a high school in. Pittsburgh. The audience was mostly students from local public schools. Jesus gender and Sexuality Alliance clubs. With the exception of a few athletes at the end, two Football Players accompany gsa officers to the stage to give me small gift. When asked if, you could Say Something to the audience, not knowing what he would say. I agreed. Listen before i came in, i was uncomfortable, he said into the mic. You know. I cant do this. I cant speak. I just want to sit over there and stay quiet. But when i came in, it was a very inviting environment. I was. I can do this. Theres no difference. You know, were all the same. He turned to me and continued. And i want to say thank you for opening up my eyes to a brighter future. The audiences almost drowned out his voice as he finished. This is reality. This is life. I just about cried. Really . I had to try very hard not to ball on stage. And while this is still one of the most touching moments ive experienced at a speech such an empathy has not been unique in my career. Moments like this happen over and over again. People they would find themselves uncomfortable around me. A transgender person, but then meeting me and learning i am also just someone living life like them. These moments serve as resounding reminders of the power of empathy and shared humanity that there is so much more love than we imagine. For us, queer and trans folks, or for anyone really. Sometimes this love comes in a form of hope. After a speech in north carolina, i spent nearly hour with people whod stayed after a line that snaked from the stage all way to the entrance of the large auditorium. The last person in line was a shorter curly haired individual with a baggy sweater jeans. He wore a pin with scrawled across it, presumably in his own handwriting, and he burst tears as soon as he met my eyes. I. He tried before his voice caught again. And he stared at the ground. Take your time. I said gently as i could. He took a deep. I drove 6 hours to get here. He finally wiping his eyes. Wow. I said, genuinely surprised you. So much for coming. Im honored you came far. I hope you have somewhere to stay tonight. Its late. I smiled to offer softness. He laughed and then gestured behind him a person who stood watching about 20 paces away, waved as we made eye contact. My friend is here with me. Im staying with her, he assured me. You were the first trans person i found online. Im trans too. He shared the words, almost tumbling out of him for so long. I want to be here anymore. I didnt see trans adults know living their lives, seeing you and reading your story. I felt my chest tighten. I listened. I too, struggled back tears. It saved my life, he said. After a few heavy breaths. You saved my life. And i needed you to know. Love and sharing love in the form of hope is incredibly powerful lifesaving even. Every time someone shares experiences like these, i find myself holding back that threatened to break my whole body. Sobs im not sure would ever end if i ever let them escape. Unrestrained the experience is certainly optimist and deeply meaningful. Someone has chosen to stay because of me. But grief floods all the spaces in between. This is the grief that we live in world where trans children want to and do kill themselves. This is the grief that so many trans children do not see their own futures and their ability to thrive beyond the stereotypes trans trauma. This is the grief. I am the first and sometimes only trans person so many have and have been able to find resonance with. This is the grief that i hope to turn into love. Through writing this book. In 2020 and 2021, record breaking numbers of antitrans legislation were introduced in state governments across the us. Most of these bills focused on two arenas. First, banning trans athletes from competing in sports aligned their gender identity, and second, banning children from accessing gender affirming health care. The two years 20, 22 and 2023 have only seen worse with each editing pass of this book. Legislative bans are increasing and in severity, including a comprehensive overview of every tack, was simply impossible at the final stage of editing over 491 antichoice bans pieces of legislation across 40 states have been introduced just in 2023. That number is now 501 bans on gender affirming care expanded to include trans adults in addition to minors, countless bans to criminalize the presence of trans or otherwise gender Diverse People in public bans threaten the legality of drag performance. Antitrans rhetoric and antitrans violence have reached all time high, fueled by media and politicians demonizing trans people and transness. Every year has been more savage than the last with 2021, becoming the deadliest year on record for antitrans violence. And although antitrans has claimed antitrans legislation to be protecting children or women, the transphobia has grown increasingly brazen conspicuous shedding this disguise of alleged protection. In 2023, the daily wire commentator Michael Knowles said it loud and clear transgenderism must be eradicated from public life entire. The whole preposterous ideology at every level. After graduated from college, i went on a speaking. It was a busy few weeks. I gave 43 speeches in 39 days. In 26 cities around the u. S. And the majority of these events were in red cities and red states. I wanted to bring trans awareness to places would not otherwise have access. While i was very excited to meet new people and continue this work, i was also very nervous. I my life mostly living in very cities. D. C. , york, seattle, boston. Traveling to remote and rural areas in kansas or illinois or pennsylvania was daunting. Wasnt sure if i would be able to connect with people in such unfamiliar settings. At one such speech, i was with a group of athletes and Community Members at a university in a small town in kansas. When it came time for questions, an older in a purple shawl asked what you. What do people like me . She hesitated, clearly nervous. I dont know what the right words are. I dont want to mess up. Thats okay. I encouraged her. Lets work through it together. Okay. What do people like me . She tried again. Do to help people like you. She finally finished. I smiled. This is a wonderful question. What . Asking is how to be the best ally an ally is someone who is not or lesbian or transgender. So not lgbtq. Plus, but who supports us and wants to help. The lady beamed, and before could continue to answer her question, she interrupted. Thank you so much. Oh, isnt this wonderful . Youve given me a new word. Ally. I want to be an ally. That woman, purple a