Transcripts For KRNV Today 20160209 : vimarsana.com

I hope he didnt get it out of the wilsons garden. One thing i can count on, itll have a broken stem. Well, you can always throw it away. Not on your life. Close your eyes and dont open them till i tell you. All right. Okay. [music] bye, dennis. Bye, tommy. Its right in front of you, mom. Can i smell it . Do you want to . Of course, i do. Okay. Bend over. Now smell. Of course not. Open your eyes. Dont be scared, mom. Its not alive. Where did you get that . In somebodys trash box. I figured we could put it up in the dining room. Oh, dennis. I bet you never thought youd have one of these, did you . No. Would you rather put it up in your bedroom . What do you say, mom . Dennis, you shouldnt bring things like this home. It was a tough job, but i wanted to. You know why . cause youre the best mom in the whole world. Oh, thank you, dennis. Where are we gonna put it, mom . Well hey, dennis, the wilsons just drove up out front. Uhoh. Whats he, your lookout . Uh, just a minute young man. Its for mom, dad. Shes been trying to get me to do it all day. Dennis, you have to tell mr. Wilson sooner or later and you might as well do it right now. Can we call him on the phone . Come on, dennis. [music] hello, henry. How are you . Fine, thank you, mrs. Wilson. How are you . Im fine, too. Hey, mr. Wilson, youre wearing a smokey the bear hat, arent you . Uh, dennis. Smokey the bear. Oh, dennis, its good to see you. Its good to see you, too, mr. Wilson. I missed you. Dennis has something to tell you, mr. Wilson. Oh . Go ahead, dennis. Well, the day after you left on your trip, there was this swell little kid who was playing baseball. A swell little kid named dennis. Uhhuh. I hit a homerun. Right through your kitchen window. Oh . Oh. Well, i mean, boys will be boys. I mean, after all, whats a broken window . Well, that isnt all, mr. Wilson. Go ahead, dennis. Well, the ball sort of bounced across the kitchen and turned on the water faucet. Well, so we lost a little water down the drain. I mean, boys will be you didnt lose it down the drain, mr. Wilson. The baseball ended up in the sink, acting as a drain plug. So you lost all your water on the floor. Oh my goodness. I looked in through the window and saw what was happening, so i called mom and dad. Oh well, how could you look in the window . I climbed up on the trellis, dads already fixed it. Oh . Oh, then what happened . Well, alice and i came over and cleaned up the mess. It didnt hurt anything. Oh, thank you, henry. Of course, i had to jimmy the back door open to get in. Oh, you did . Of course, i fixed it later and the window, too. Wellwell, then everythings all right. I guess boys will be boys. Well, thats not quite all, mr. Wilson. Oh . Yesterday, dennis played baseball again. A homerun . Im a regular willie mays. Same window. Oh my lands. But it didnt hit the water faucet. What are you laughing about, mr. Wilson . Oh, thats a very funny story. Im happy you can see it that way, mr. Wilson. Oh, mitchell, you know, ive been an old grouch in the past, but thats all over. From now on, dennis and i are gonna be good friends. Really, mr. Wilson . Its gonna be right over in the park. Dennis. Well, by golly, i just might do that. Wow, that would be swell. Mr. Wilson, i hope you dont mind my commenting, but youre a changed man. I really think he is, henry. Well, i know i am. I mean, how could i be otherwise . Ive been communing with nature. Ive slept beside a babbling brook under the stars. Ive listened to natures creatures calling to me in the night. Did mrs. Wilson want a drink of water . Mrs. Wilson . No, idennis, i was referring to the animals and the birds. One night, i heard an owl hooting. [hooting] boy, you sure sound like one. Do it again. All righty. [hooting] and at that moment, all the primitive instincts of my ancestors came back to me. Oh, what did you do . Picked up my flashlight and went looking for him. Boy, youre just like daniel boone, mr. Wilson. Did you find him . Well, no. Now martha, that wasnt funny. Oh yes, it was. Fine. He was walking along, shining his light up into the trees, and he walked right into the brook. Thats cause you didnt wanna leave a trail, huh, mr. Wilson . Dennis, youre a good friend. You know, you ought to go camping sometime. Boy, that would be swell. Can i help you bring in the rest of your gear . Well, sure. Come on. Dad, can i sleep out in the backyard tonight . Dennis, i dont have a tent. Oh, dont be a killjoy, mitchell. He could borrow our camping equipment. Swell. Oh, thats very generous of you. Say, can i get tommy to sleep out with me . Ill envy you, dennis, being out there under the stars. You know, mitchell, thats the only trouble being home. Ill miss the sound of the wild creatures calling in the night. Can i wear your smokey the bear hat, mr. Wilson . Why, of course you can, dennis. Now im gonna go see if tommy can come. Oh, hes a wonderful kid. [ringing] hello . Oh, hi ted. Uh, henry, i was wondering if you and alice would like to come over tonight. Well, um, play a Little Bridge . You sure you wanna play bridge or you got another one of those crazy sound effect records you want to show off . Well, we might play a Little Bridge. Henry, wait till you hear this one. Its the greatest. Its a train wreck from the actual soundtrack of a motion picture. Well, how about it . Can you come over . Well, i dont think we better tonight, ted. Uh, dennis is sleeping out in the backyard, and weve got to keep an eye on him. Well, look, you could watch him just as easily from over here as you can from there. Uh, look right over the fence. Well, i suppose we could keep an eye on him just as easily over there. Any objections, honey . No, i guess not. Okay. Fine, ted. About 8 00 . Andand ted, i do wanna play some bridge tonight. Okay. Bye. So do i. Last saturday evening, we did nothing but listen to that crazy wild animal record of his. Dont blame him, honey. Hes only had that hifi a couple of weeks. Dennis im home. Alice in here, dennis. Tommy can camp out with me. Hell be here in a few minutes. Good. Hey, you better take that hat off so you can see where youre going, young man. Thats too big for you. No it isnt. Its perfect. Here. Tommy wishes he had one. Let me put a little paper in it and try it. I dont need it. Well, just try it, huh . Yeah. Hey, mom, how come you havent put up the reindeer . Oh, that isnt a reindeer, dennis. Its a moose. And i have a wonderful idea of where to put it. Where . Why dont we put it out in the backyard and then you can pretend youre right out in the wilderness tonight . Wow. And the tent can be your teepee. You mean, like were indians . Like real indian braves. You know what she is, dad . Shes the best squaw in the whole world. She is on my totem pole, too. Well, here i am. What do you got blankets for . We got sleeping bags. I know it. But my mom is afraid ill catch cold. I even got to wear my underwear under my pajamas. Boy, im glad my mom isnt like that. What are those for . For you. Oh, mom. Hon, do you know where the hot water bottle is . Holy baloney. Sheer ambrosia. Hey, mr. Wilson, you did shave and a haircut six bits. I most certainly did, dennis. Do it again, mr. Wilson. All right. Henry dennis, that will be enough knocking. Oh, mr. Wilson, how are you . Im sorry, mitchell, sheer animal spirit. Thats quite all right. Come on in. Oh, no thanks. I just dropped by to tell dennis the good news. Dennis, what would be the best possible news you could hear in the whole world . That im getting that twowheeler. Are you getting me one . Henry oh, dennis. Well, no, no. Its not that. Maybe this wish is second best. You see these two circus tickets . Well, were going to the circus. Oh, boy. I think you boys will be pretty comfortable out here. Sure, we will. Oh. Honey. Oh, henry, that moose head looked so real, it startled me. Thank you. Oh, you did a wonderful job of hanging him out here for the boys. Come on, dennis. Dennis im filling the hot water bottle. Honey, do you really think he needs it . Its pretty warm out tonight. Oh, he wants it. Are you sure . He said so. Well, here i am. Oh, hold on. I wanna see if its hot enough. Its hot enough. I dont know. Id have made it hotter than that, but i guess its all right. All right. Now, if you fellows want anything, you just sing out. Well be right behind the fence at the miltons. We wont want anything. Will we, tommy . Nah. Well, good night boys. Good night, mom. Good night. Good night, men. Night. Youre gonna have a wonderful time. Hey, dennis, what are we gonna do if we get thirsty . Hot root beer. Wow. [music] the kids are fine, theyre talking up a storm. I hope they get some sleep tonight. Oh, relax, honey. Its only quarter to nine. You know, martha, those old sleepless nights are gone forever, not even 9 00. Now what are you going to do . I think ill give dennis and tommy a thrill and do my owl imitation. [hooting] oh, come to bed, george. Wait a minute, martha. You know, i bet they think thats a real owl. [hooting] you know what that was, tommy . That was mr. Wilson doing his owl imitation. Hes pretty good at it. Yeah, thats because he heard owls and things all the time when hes out camping. Animals too . Sure, all kinds of them. I bet he was scared. Mr. Wilson . Heck, no. He said they calmed his nerves. Now that hes back, hes gonna miss them. [train whistles] what was that . He was gonna play a train record for mom and dad. [train whistles] george . Huh . Do you hear that train . Yes, its unusually loud tonight. Or else theyre using that old spur track over in the park. They must be. It sounds as if it was right next door. Must be some rare atmospheric condition. Martha, i know why theyre using the spur. That must be the circus train arriving in the park. Good heaven. That sounded like a headon collision. Boy, did you ever hear anything more realistic . I should say not. Now, can we play another rubber . Boy, that train wreck sure sounded swell. Well, how did you hear it . You got the speaker in the patio turned on. For heavens sakes, ted, i hope you didnt wake anybody up. Oh, dont be silly. Whod be sleeping at this time . Its barely 9 00. How about playing your wild animal record, so ill be like were camping out in the jungle . All right, dennis. And ill bet your folks would enjoy hearing that one again too. Oh, wed love it. We can play bridge later. Come on, tommy, lets get back to camp. [lion roaring] martha. That was a lion. Great scott, that was the circus train and the lions are loose. [elephants trumpet] and the elephants are loose too. Dennis and tommy are out in the yard. You cant go out there. Ive got to, martha. Those boys are in danger. Ill do what i can with my log sword. You call the police. Oh, good heavens, he forgot his glasses. Sure is swell being out here in the wilderness. Yeah. Dennis . What are you doing, mr. Wilson . Im going to save you from the lions. Boys, get back in your tent. Mr. Wilson must be playing hes out in the wilderness too. And please hurry, hey, mr. Wilson, here comes a fierce tiger. I hope martha phoned for help. George, i brought you your glasses. Steady, martha. Are you all right . Yes, so far. I havent met any of the lions yet, oh. You boys all right . Were pretty scared. Well, you stay where you are. Now, there might be a lion behind any bush, martha, so you stay right close to me. Here are your glasses, george. You come out to play too, mrs. Wilson . Dennis, go back inside. Dont you understand the danger . Didnt you hear the animal roars . Sure, i heard them. Thats because mr. Milton had the speaker in his patio turned on. What . Sure. They were on a record he was playing on his new hifi. Nonsense. What about that moose i decapitated . He wasnt playing that on his hifi. George, will you please put on your glasses. Well, i will. Oh, no. Martha, not a word of this to anybody. [siren] oh, lord, i feel so humiliated. Now, george, you were only doing what you thought was right. It was a very brave thing to do, mr. Wilson. Oh. Sure it was. You thought there were lions out there. Have the police left . Yes, dear. The reporters . Yes, dear. And that police psychiatrist . Yes, dear. You know what i heard him say, mr. Wilson . He said youre as nutty as a fruitcake. When did he say that . Right after i told him you do swell owl imitations and to think i dumped out all my nerve medicine. Oh, martha, take me home and put me to bed. Of course. Dennis hey, mr. Wilson, what time are we going to the circus tomorrow . Oh, that [applause] [music] alice. Whats this bill from detwilers Department Store . What does it say . I dont know. I cant read it. They always manage to get the amount clearly enough, but what youre paying for is a mystery. To keep husbands from knowing what their wives buy. Let me see. It says one dozen golf balls. Honey, that Television Sets got to be fixed. I dont play golf. I know, honey. That television dennis doesnt play golf. Honey, i know. I wonder who around here could have bought one dozen golf balls. Well, i could tell you, but my mother always said, son, never talk with your mouth full of crow. Your mother is a very wise woman. Seriously, though, honey, the bills this month are just fierce. Doctor, dentist, lights, water. Theres even a two month bill here from the quigley grocery store. How did that happen . Last months bill got jammed in the back of the drawer and i overlooked it. Im afraid theres Something Else you dont even know about yet. Whats that . Honey, im just sick about it. Here in the house . Well, i remember putting it up on the sink last night when i started to do the dinner dishes, and it must have gone down the drain. Well, im not paying a plumber to come and get it out. Ill borrow a wrench from mr. Wilson and check the drain myself. Im home. Hey, dad, the mailman left a letter for you. If its another bill, ill shoot myself. Shoot yourself . Hes only fooling, tommy. Dennis, have you seen my Engagement Ring . Ive lost it somewhere. No, mom. I havent seen it. Now, this is what ive been looking for. Harassed by creditors . Haunted by overdue bills . Borrow in confidence from the sincere loan company. Im gonna put this right up here where i can find it easily. Speaking of finding, i think ill go upstairs and look for my ring. Honey, while youre up there, you might as well change your clothes. Well be heading for downtown pretty quick. Do you need money, dad . But i thought we were rich. I always felt rich. Well, in the way you mean it, son, we are. See . But not where money is concerned. There were a long, long way from being rich. I knew it. Thats why i have to work my fingers to the bone. If i didnt, wed lose the house. You mean like mom lost her ring . No. You see, dennis, the bank owns the house and if i dont keep up the payments, theyll take it away from us. Jeepers. The same thing is true with the car. How about the tv set . Well, the store could take that. We make payments to them even though it only works about half the time. Youre a very important member of this family, and, well, you can help me by not wasting food and turning out lights when you leave the room. Things like that. Im gonna help you all i can, dad. And from now on, if mom puts it on my plate, im even gonna eat liver. While mom and dad are downtown, tommy . Were gonna make some money for good old dad by selling bottles. Youre gonna give the money to your dad . Id keep it. Thats cause youre just a little kid. Im a very important member of this family and dad needs my help. Were so poor, were right down to our bones. Jeepers, only two . Lets look in the refrigerator. Theyre all full. The bottles arent worth anything full. Thats all you know. Im gonna start up a root beer stand. Im gonna make so much money that ill probably take dad downtown and buy him a new car. How much you gonna charge for a root beer . A penny for all you can drink. You wont make much money that way. Tommy, you just dont understand business. Delicious root beer for sale root beer hey hello, tommy. Hi, mrs. Elkins. You wanna buy some root beer . Hes earning money to help his dad. Im sure mr. Mitchell doesnt need denniss help. Sure, he does. He told me so. Dennis is helping pay off the tv set so the store wont take it back. Oh, tommy. How much is your root beer . A penny for all you can drink. You wont make very much money that way. Yes, he will. You dont know dennis. How much do you think i can drink . About that much. 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Henry, and we have a dozen errands to run. Well, ill tell you, my son brought his car in for a lube job. You could use that this afternoon. Say, wed sure appreciate it. Well, there she is. Oh, im afraid we couldnt. What time did you say your hair appointment was, honey . Thats what i was saying. Im afraid we couldnt possibly make my hair appointment unless we used your car. Youre welcome to it. The keys are in the dash. Thanks a lot. Be it ever so humble, theres no place like transportation. Just in case we see anybody we know, [cloth rips] doggone it. I tore my jacket. Oh, well, that coat was ready for the Salvation Army anyhow. Say, mr. Mitchell. You may hot have noticed that sharp place on the door when you got in. Watch it or you could tear your clothes. Thanks a lot. Ill watch it. There we are. There are your peaches, mrs. Burns. All right. Hi, mr. Quigley. Mrs. Burns. Oh, hello, dennis. Tommy. Keep away from the bananas, dennis. You always say that to me, dont you, mr. Quigley . I sure do. Is that on account of the time i unzipped em for you . Thats right. I was out back in the storeroom. Couldnt have been gone more than two minutes. When i came back, hed taken the skins off about 60 bananas. I thought theyd sell faster. Now, dennis, dont bother me while im waiting on mrs. Burns. Okay. Anything else, mrs. Burns . No. Oh, yes. A dozen eggs and you can just put all these things on my account, mr. Quigley. A dozen eggs. Dennis, if youll carry this bag to my care for me, ill give you a nickel. I dont think id do that, mrs. Burns. Why not . With dennis, something always goes wrong. Oh, nonsense. Dennis, you want to earn that nickel . Sure, i do. My dad needs the money so they wont take our tv set away from us. They could even lose their house and car. What . Oh. Come on, dennis. Im in a hurry. Yes, mrs. Burns. I told you. Whoops. Its your own fault. You shouldnt have put the eggs on top. I think some of them got broke a little. Theres some yellow coming out. And carry your bag out myself. Goodbye, boys. Goodbye, mrs. Burns. Dont touch anything. I guess he didnt mean these eggs, tommy. Lets pick em up for him. Hand em to me, tommy. You might drop em. Careful. Careful now. Well, boys. We meet again. What are you doing with those eggs . We picked them up for mr. Quigley. They got dropped cause he put em on top. Mr. Quigleys carrying mrs. Burns package out for her. I wanted the job, but he got it. Shes paying a nickel. Things must be a little slow for mr. Quigley. I think hes broke like my dad. Oh, dennis. Hows your mother . Not so good. She lost her Engagement Ring. Oh, what a shame. Dennis, what are you doing with those eggs . Im holding them for you. Hold still. You might drop em. Mr. Quigley, dont get so excited. I always get excited when he comes in. When i was a young man, i drove a nitroglycerin truck in the Texas Oil Fields and i was cool as a cucumber, but five minutes of dennis and im a total wreck. Now, what was it you wanted, dennis . I got six pop bottles in my wagon and i wanna turn em in to get 12 cents to give to my dad cause he needs the money. All right. All right. Ill give you your 12 cents and get you out of here. Oh, for petes sake. Hey, mr. Quigley, you busted a couple of eggs. Yeah, i know. Did you see that, tommy . Mr. Quigley was putting those bottles on the counter and he busted a couple eggs. I guess he didnt see em. Didnt you see those eggs, mr. Quigley . You put em there. And buy a nitroglycerin truck. Here. Heres your money. Now run on home. For two cents . For two cents. Well . What are you waiting for . Im trying to make up my mind about buying your store. See what i mean . He drives me out of my mind. You boys better run along home now. Okay. Bye, mr. Quigley. Goodbye. Goodbye. Bye, mrs. Elkins. Goodbye. Ill be back later if i can find some more bottles to sell you. My dad needs all the money i can get. Bye. Otottle of cider vinegar, quigley. Oh, ill get it, mrs. Elkins. I wonder what all that talk was about his father needing money. I dont know. Dennis said something about repossessing the tv set. Thats hard to believe. And the other boy mentioned the bank the mitchells . Say, come to think of it, they havent paid their last months bill. If they dont pay it pretty soon, ill have to cut off their credit. You just never know, do you . Charge it. All right, mrs. Elkins. Bye. Bye. [telephone rings] hello . Oh, yes. Mrs. Elkins. I wondered if you heard about the trouble the mitchells are in. Well, let me tell you. Theyre driving an old wreck because the bank has repossessed their car and little dennis is out selling bottles so they wont lose their tv set. Why, youve never seen such a brave little boy in your life. Why, i just cant believe it. Well, that isnt all. Mrs. Mitchell has lost her Engagement Ring. Shes probably pawned it. Well, im just gonna have to go over there and see for myself. Ive always thought of them as one of the pillars of the community. What do you think . Well, i dont know, mr. Mitchell. I think id better take it back to the store. Its too big a job to do here. Okay, if you have to. Honey, im going next door and borrow that pipe wrench from mr. Wilson. All right, dear. When will we get it back . Not for a couple of days anyway. Dont get up, mrs. Mitchell. I can make it all right. Well, bring it back as fast as you can. Youre taking their tv set back to the store . Yes, maam. Had to do it. Oh, what a shame. Yeah. Little boys gonna miss it. Oh, mrs. Holland. I just happened to be in the neighborhood and i thought id drop by and say hello. Im so glad you did. Wont you come in . Henry will be right back. He just went next door to the wilsons to borrow something. I hope i havent come at a bad time. Oh, not at all. I was just mending henrys old coat here. Were going to give it to the Salvation Army. Of course. Could i get you something cold to drink . Why, thank you. Yes. You come right in and sit down. Were going to have to speak to dennis. There isnt a cold drink in this house. I just bought six bottles yesterday. Yes, sir. That boys gonna have to have a little talking to. Well, come on in and say hello to mrs. Holland. She just stopped by for a minute. Its so nice of you to drop by, mrs. Holland. Well, im glad i caught you home. Youll have to pardon the way i look. I was just about to do a little plumbing job. Of cououe. But a penny saved is a penny earned. Believe me, i understand. Why dont we all sit down. Im sorry i cant give you that cold drink i offered you, but our cupboard seems to be bare. Oh, my dear, dont give it another thought. Mr. Mitchell, may i ask you a question . Certainly. Well, let us say that a young couple with a little boy are in financial difficulty. Now, do you think that they should forget their pride and accept charity from their friends and neighbors . It would seem to me that that would depend on the actual circumstances of this hypothetical couple. Dennis were home in here, dennis. This is not a hypothetical couple, mr. Mitchell. Their little boy just entered this room. Hey, dad, have i got a surprise for you. Not now, dennis. Dennis, not now. Are you sure of your facts, mrs. Holland . We know, mrs. Mitchell. In spite of their putting up a very brave front, we know. Well, in that case, im sure every member of the family would be grateful for any help thats given. You mean you wouldnt mind if we brought a few things here during the next few days . Wed be happy to volunteer our house as a collection center. Oh, thank you, mr. Mitchell. That was very delicately put. Now, if youll excuse me, i must go mobilize the neighborhood. Mom, can i have something to eat . Im starving. Oh, that boy. Hes always hungry. Oh, ill hurry just as fast as i can. I think this is a wonderful thing youre doing. In this town, we always take care of our own, mrs. Mitchell. Goodbye, mrs. Holland. Goodbye. Hey, whats going on here . Not now, dear. Tommy, i just remembered your mother called and she wants you to come right home. Okay, mrs. Mitchell. Bye, dennis. Bye, tommy. Poor little tyke. Im amazed. I was talking with mrs. Anderson only yesterday and she seemed so cheerful. Honey, mrs. Holland isnt one to jump to conclusions. Hey, dad, guess what i got for you. 36 cents. Ive been selling root beer and empty bottles. So thats what happened to the root beer. Well, father, do your duty. [clears throat] i did it for you cause i knew you needed the money. Oh. Dont you lay a hand on that child. [ tires screech ]. Careful driving just comes naturally. All that experience should be worth something. And it is. With the aarp Auto Insurance program from the hartford. Switching saved me hundreds. 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If i have an accident, whether its my fault or whatever the situation is, ive still got insurance its very, very comforting. [ female announcer ] save 420 on average and get new car replacement and lifetime renewability. When we needed insurance, they were there to give us the right coverage. And when we needed to use the insurance, they were there to take care of us in a beautiful way. [ female announcer ] call the hartford at. To request your free quote. Thats. Or go to gethartfordauto. Com today. Get this free calculator its awfully nice of you to give up your sunday afternoon to bring these things over. Im glad to do it, mrs. Mitchell. My, the neighborhood certainly has been generous. Yes, they certainly have. Is mr. Mitchell home . No, hes over at the club playing golf. That seems a little peculiar. He always plays golf on sunday. Dennis usually tags along. Well, im glad circumstances havent forced him to change his routine. Good afternoon. Good afternoon. Well, i wonder whats the matter with him. Dennis were home. In here. Hi. I found my ring in the clothes hamper. What happened to your eye . Its black and blue. Its the best one i ever saw. Let me see. [gasps] henry, how did it happen . Tommys dad did it in the clubhouse. Mr. Anderson was out playing golf while his familys going hungry . I was just about to walk up and tell him off when he walked up to me. What did he say . He said, mitchell, dont you think a man ought to provide for his family before he plays golf. I said, i certainly do, anderson. Boy, dad and tommys dad were looking at each other so fierce they were practically touching noses. And then he said to me, mitchell, dont you think that a man who plays golf under these circumstances is taking advantage of his friends and neighbors . I said, frankly, anderson, i think a man like thats a parasite. Then he said to me, well, what do you think ought to happen to a man like that . And i said, i think someone ought to punch him in the eye. Gee, was i . I didnt even know what you were talking about. I was just about to haul off and sock him when he hit me in the eye. No i was gonna hit him back, but the fellas held us apart. [doorbell rings] boy, everybody was so mad at mr. Anderson that they started slapping him on the back and making him smoke cigars. Hello, mrs. Holland. I heard about your eye, and i must say, you deserved it. What . Out at the club playing golf. Whats the matter with that . You were playing golf while your neighbors were feeding and clothing your family. Ill tell you what i think. I think youre pretty contemptible. Henry but mrs. Holland. Honey, she seems to think were the needy family. Where would she get an idea like that . From me. I told her what you said ive been telling everybody. Thats terrible. No, it isnt. Remember when you were in the shower room putting the cold towel on your eye . Henry yes. I took up a collection for us in the lockerroom. But they made me promise starring barbara billingsley, hugh beaumont, tony dow, and Jerry Mathers as the beaver. door opens attention people with hearing loss. What im about to tell you could change your life. Does your hearing loss have you feeling left out . Are you finding it harder to hear the tv or telephone . If left untreated, your hearing loss can get significantly worse. A recent Johns Hopkins study showed that hearing loss can lead to more serious issues, including dementia. Its time to call hearusa and get a complete hearing checkup absolutely free. And, aarp members receive expert advice and can purchase Digital Hearing Aids as low as 795 each. I sure wish i hadnt waited so long. I hear so clearly now. Im back to myself again. If you call hearusa now youll even get a riskfree 90day trial,backed by a 100 satisfaction guarantee. Dont wait another minute call this tollfree number and start improving your hearing and your life today. Hello. Im Jerry Mathers. I was the beaver in leave it to beaver. A few years later, i was a type 2 diabetic. But im not anymore. Diabetes causes neuropathy, blindness, and amputation. Today i want you to have a look at an amazing breakthrough that has stopped diabetes in its tracks for over 200,000 people just like you and me. Now you can do the same thing, because its all spelled out in a very special system called the diabetes solution kit. I urge you to try this allnatural, doneforyou program so you can finally live independent of drugs and insulin shots. Im Jerry Mathers, and if i can do it, you can do it, too. Hi mom. Hi there beaver, youre home a little bit late. Larry and i stopped off at the drug store audience laughs why doesnt his sister buy her own cream . She doesnt want the drug store to know shes got things on her face. audience laughs bag crinkles what are you doing . Putting some cheese in here. What for . So my mouse wont get hungry. Beaver have you got a live mouse in there . Sure mom, i wouldnt be feeding a dead mouse. Well you cant keep a mouse here. Beaver, a mouse is not a clean animal. Well, this one will be cause when larry comes over were gonna give him a bath. audience laughs [wally] hi ma. door slams hi beav. Hi wally. You wanna see my mouse . Now look, youre not gonna keep that mouse so dont get your heart set on it. Oh, he sure is little. Yeah, you think maybe instead of being a mouse hes a baby rat . Nah, rats have rattier looking tails. Look, you boys put that animal out in the garage until your father comes home and okay, mom. Ward, it is not all right for the beaver to have a mouse. I just dont want it around here. But dear, bringing a mouse home is just part of boyhood. But a mouse, ooh. All right, dear. Hey wally, how do you give a mouse a bath . Boy beaver, you sure come up with some goofy questions. I think ill have larry hold him while i scrub him with your toothbrush. audience laughs look, if youre gonna scrub a mouse, use your own toothbrush. audience laughs what are you gonna do if dad says you cant keep the mouse . Give him to larry and go and visit him. audience laughs well hi fellas. Hi dad. Hi dad. Hey, when does beaver have to get rid of the mouse . Wally, why dont you go brush your teeth while i talk to the beaver . Oh, well, okay dad. Gee dad, cant i keep the mouse . clears throat was ever meant to be a, you know, to be a pet. You see beaver, your mother and i wouldnt have objected too much if youd brought home a regular pet. Gee, no fooling dad . audience laughs i thought i told you to brush your teeth. Well, i am. audience laughs look beaver, your mother and i just want you to be very sure before you select a pet. And then it has to be something sensible. Yeah dad, i guess so. Fine, now then, what are we gonna do with the mouse . Maybe i should take him back to the drug store and let him go. Um, no, beaver, im afraid the druggist wouldnt appreciate that. Hey beav, on the way home from school tomorrow, why dont you take the mouse over to the dump and let him loose there . Any mouse would be happy running around in all that garbage. audience laughs well, goodnight fellas. Goodnight dad. Night dad. Mom, hey ma well, gee mom, what are you doing down there . Well im just lying down. Well are you sick or something . You never saw a mom lying down in the daytime before. audience laughs wally, im just resting. Look, i know its against the rules but dont tell anybody, hmm . audience laughs did you see your brother on the way home . Yeah, he and larry let the mouse loose over at metzgers field. Then theyre going to the supermarket on account of their giving away free samples. Oh, why didnt you go with them . Well heck mom, thats kid stuff. And anyway, i told the beaver to bring me some if it was any good. audience laughs engines rumbling hey larry, whats this free junk the lady gave us . Its deviled ham on a cracker. Whats deviled ham . Well, you know what a deviled egg is . No. Then i cant explain it to you. Just eat it, it wont make you sick or anything. audience laughs im taking three of em home to my brother. In my pocket. Yeah, that way you wont get germs on em. audience laughs [beaver] hey, lets go see if theres any good junk for sale today. Boy, neat, theres a garage for rent. Id like to rent a garage. audience laughs good home wanted for full grown monkey. Free, cage included, owners leaving town and it gives a phone number and everything. Golly, a whole free monkey for nothing hey, ill get it beav and you can come over and visit it all you want. Well, i read it first. Yeah, but i was gonna read it in a minute. Would your pa let you have a monkey . Nah, i dont think so. Man, if he ever came home from a business trip and he found a monkey in the house, whoo would he blow his top. Yeah, he raises enough heck when i just have a friend over. audience laughs would your father let you have a monkey . Sure, he said i could have any pet i wanted as long as it was sensible. Yeah, a monkey sure is a sensible pet. audience laughs phone rings hello. Yeah, this is mr. Cleaver. Uhhuh. My son what . audience laughs a monkey . Well, yes i did tell him he could have a pet but i. laughs yes, i imagine theodore was very enthusiastic. Say, could i have your phone number and call you back . Uhhuh, yes, all right, well thank you very much. Oh, nothing unusual. Seems our son is on his way home with a monkey. A live monkey . Live monkey. He saw a notice on the Bulletin Board down at the market and went over and picked it up. That was the owner calling. Ward, we cant have a monkey here. Why didnt you tell him then . Well dear, we did tell beaver he could have a pet and you were the one who dispossessed his mouse. audience laughs oh yes, ward, but, a monkey well june, try and look at it from beavers point of view. Just imagine the appeal a monkey has for a child. Didnt you want one when you were a little girl . Well i may have been peculiar, but i didnt. audience laughs well dear, we took his mouse away from him. We cant take his monkey away from him. At least not until we find a way out. audience laughs ward, i am not having a monkey in this house. All right. But when he comes home with his monkey in his arms, you look into his happy little face and tell him he has to take it back to its owner. After all, youre his father. Well right now i dont want to think like a father. I want to think like a kid. Oh, honey, i just cant imagine a Little Monkey running around the house. Well its not such a Little Monkey, dear. The man says it weighs 20 pounds. audience laughs 20 pounds . 20 pounds. Oh, im gonna go start my dinner. Now dear, the monkeys name is stanley. audience laughs boy wally, this is the neatest pet a guy ever had. Yeah, hes almost as big as little benji from across the street. Well hes smarter too. The man said he used to be a circus monkey, but he didnt want to sell him because he wanted him to have a good home. I think dad likes him, but i dont know about mom. I guess thats cause monkeys are more like men than they are like women. audience laughs well, im gonna put him away. cage rattles swell, dad. Hes the best pet i ever had. Hes the biggest one, too. Mom, dont clean the room or anything because the man says that if you leave the windows open, monkeys cant stand drafts. Yeah, and when you feed him, dont feed him steaks and potatoes and junk like that. Oh, now beaver, feeding hims gonna be your job. You sure he cant get out of that cage . Oh i think hes very happy there, dear. Its been his home for a long time. Beaver, you really like stanley, dont you . Sure mom, hes almost as neat as having a baby brother. audience laughs well, you take good care of him dear. audience laughs door slams hey beaver, i just thought of something funny. What . Well if we ever got another monkey, we could call him livingston. Why would we do that . Well, then wed have stanley and livingston. audience laughs well gee, beaver, didnt you ever study about africa in school . audience laughs bye, dear. Bye, honey. What time are you coming home . Oh around five. Good, the girls will be gone by then. What girls . Well, im having a little luncheon bridge today and i dont want you coming home early and making them feel uncomfortable. Dont worry about a thing, dear. If there are cars out front ill climb in the bedroom window. audience laughs all right, honey, all right. horn honks hey, thats beavers bus. Beaver your bus is here hey beaver, theyre hollering for you. I know. So long, stanley. horn honks bye, stanley, see you after school. audience laughs i came into the room and she was wearing the same dress i was, only she had it on backwards. laughing backwards . chatter, laughter yelling audience laughs oh, girls. muttering audience laughs light rattles dishes clatter yes, well you have our number in case you hear anything. All right, thank you. Well, the animal shelters gonna keep an eye out. Hows beaver taking it . Hes pretty upset. Ward, maybe i shouldve tried to catch stanley before he got away. Well, dear, it wasnt your fault. I shouldve made sure the cage door wasnt open. Im just sorry about the mess here this afternoon. Oh, honey, i can forget the luncheon. I sure hope stanley comes back. thunder rumbles rain pounding wally . Wally . Gee whiz, beaver, arent you asleep yet . Huhuh. What do you want . Can cats beat up monkeys . Huh . Well, maybe stanleys hiding in a tree and cats can climb trees. Oh, aw heck beaver, in the jungle, monkeys beat up cats all the time. audience laughs you sure, wally . Well sure, you learn about that when you start studying africa. audience laughs wally . Hmm . Can owls beat up monkeys . No, now will you go to sleep . thunder cracks knocks dad, hey dad mom . Hey dad whats the matter wally, whats happened . Stanleys back. Oh, oh. Oh, beaver, not my good towels. audience laughs oh, all right. When did he get back . About ten minutes ago. We woke up and heard scratching at the window. Hey look dad, hes shivering all over. See if hes got a fever, mom. Oh, im sure hes all right, beaver. But feel his forehead like you do with me. audience laughs well im afraid its pneumonia. Is he gonna die . Well, you see son, this is a macaque monkey. He lives in the tropics. He doesnt belong in a climate like this. Yeah, but is he gonna die . Beaver. Well, its hard to say, son. Is there an Animal Hospital we could put him in . Well right now, hes better off around here with people he knows. Well, sure, dad, like the time i had my tonsils out. I didnt want to be in the hospital well, thank you very much, doctor. Yes, sir. Ill show you out, doctor. Thank you. door slams hey, dear. Hi. Hows stanley . He slept for four hours. Oh, the doctor said to keep him warm. He didnt kick the covers off, did he . No honey, no he didnt. You sure . Im positive. I sat with him most of the day. audience laughs slurping doorbell rings hello mrs. Cleaver. Hello there, larry. Im afraid beaver cant play today. Well, i didnt come over to play. I came over to ask how does stanley feel . Well, im afraid hes still pretty sick. Oh. Mrs. Cleaver . [june] yes, larry . Would it be dumb to bring flowers to a monkey . Well of course not. And i think beaver would be very pleased. Yeah, well, here. Why thank you, larry. That was very thoughtful of you. Ill take them right upstairs. Oh, mrs. Cleaver . Tell beaver not to tell whitey or gilbert or any of the guys where they came from. Why, dear . Well, just in case it is dumb to bring flowers to a monkey. All right, larry. Bye. [beaver] wally, you think hes ever gonna get better . [wally] ah, sure. Wally . How much would it cost to send a monkey to the tropics . You know, south america . Well, i guess it would depend on what kind of package you put him in. audience laughs why . Well, the veterinarian said this is the wrong kind of climate for stanley. Yeah, boy if i was a monkey, id sure be a lot happier in south america. You know, wally, i made a promise to myself. If stanley ever gets better, im gonna find a way to send him to south america or some place like that. Yeah but, gee beaver, wont you miss him . Well sure, but id miss him a whole lot worse if he was dead. Dead . Gee beaver, you shouldnt say junk like that. Well i wouldnt say it if i thought stanley knew what we were talking about. audience laughs knocking hey mom, hey dad. Whats the matter now, is stanley worse . No, i think hes all better. Oh, june, stanleys better clears throat look dad, he feels fine now. audience laughs hi, dear. Hi, hows our happy household . Fine, want some coffee . Yeah, a little. Stanleys just fine. You know he sat up in our room for an hour this afternoon watching television . Well, i think that medium has finally found its audience. audience laughs very funny. Dear . What are we gonna do about stanley . Hes just too big for us to keep. I know we cant keep him, but id sure like to wait a couple of days before we tell beaver. Its just gonna break his heart if he has to give him up. Is he upstairs . I think so. Why dont you go up and kind of prepare him for it . All right. Ward . You know, im gonna sort of miss stanley, too. Yeah, almost as neat as having a baby brother. audience laughs hello . Are you the man in charge of flying monkeys . Well, my name is theodore cleaver, and my monkeys name is stanley, and id like to send him to south america. 80 whole dollars . audience laughs couldnt he go childrens fare . Hes not as big as i am. Oh no, sir, im not playing a joke on ya. Stanleys been sick, and i dont want him to get pneumonia again. Yes sir, ill see if someone big can call you, but i dont know. Goodbye. Hi, beaver. I guess you think quite a lot of stanley, huh . I sure do, but it costs 80 whole dollars to send him to south america, and i dont have it, and no kid should ask for 80 dollars. Well ill tell you, beaver, maybe theres another way out of this. Gee dad, no foolin . Yeah, you know weve got a pretty good zoo here in mayfield, remember when we were out there . And they had that big steamheated monkey house . And a place for them to play outside in the summer . You think theyd give a home to stanley . Well, we can sure call and find out. I think theyd like to have a smart fellow like stanley. Well, gee dad, thatd be real neat. And then i can go down to the zoo and tell all the people that will watch him, that was my monkey. Sure you could, beav. And hed probably sit there with the rest of the monkeys and say theres the fellow who took care of me when i was sick. Gee dad, thatd be neat. Well, but stanley doesnt have to do that if he doesnt want to. Well, knowing stanley as i do, im sure hell want to. door slams youre late for work. You grab your 10gallon jug of coffee, and back out of the garage. Right into your wifes car. With your wife watching. She forgives you. Eventually. Your Insurance Company, not so much. They say you only have their basic policy. Dont basic policies cover basic accidents . Of course, they say. As long as you pay extra for it. With a Liberty Mutual base policy, new car replacement comes standard. And for drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. Learn more by calling at Liberty Mutual, every policy is personal, with coverage and deductibles, customized just for you. Which is why we dont offer any offtheshelf policies. Switch to Liberty Mutual and you could save up to 509. Call Liberty Mutual for a free quote today at see Car Insurance in a whole new light. Oh hi beav. Hey, where you been all afternoon . Just horsing around . Huhuh, me and larry went to visit stanley at the zoo. Oh yeah . Hey, how was he . Oh great. Hes got his own tree and hes got a tire to swing on and he still knows me. He started jumping up and down and talking to me right in front of all those people. Yeah, boy he oughta have a ball with all those other monkeys. You know, wally, im gonna go visit stanley every day for the rest of my life. You just say that now, but pretty soon youll get in high school and college and, well, you just wont have time. Then ill visit him every weekend. Yeah, but, after a while youd get married and stuff and, well, youre not gonna find a wife thats audience laughs sure i will, and then someday ill get a job and ill be a Bank President , and ill be the only Bank President in the whole world whos got a monkey for a friend. audience laughs oh, cut it out, beaver. It just doesnt work that way. Pretty soon, youll forget all about stanley. Hell forget all about you and none of that junk will never happen. I know, but right now it makes me feel good to think it will. audience laughs [voiceover] leave it to beaver. Starring barbara billingsley. Hugh beaumont. Tony dow. And Jerry Mathers. upbeat music on doing my shopping this morning. Oh, well if its the only time you can come, then ill wait for you. All right, thank you, goodbye. Who was on the phone, mom . Oh, that was the nursery, beaver. No fooling, were gonna have a baby brother . audience laughter no beaver, this is the kind of nursery that brings plants and flowers. Oh, i thought it was the kind that brought baby brothers. audience laughter i have to wait for mr. Johnson to show him where to put the camellia bushes. I dont how im going to get to the market. Ill go for you, mom. Hi, beav. Hi, dad. Oh, dear. Dear, i have to wait for mr. Johnson. Could you take my grocery list and go to the market . Well, id like to, dear, but dont you remember . I have a dentist appointment. Then you cant get my groceries . Well, i think the dentist appointment is more important. Dont you, beaver . Sure, dad. If all your teeth fall out, you wont have anything to eat groceries with anyways. audience laughter thats right, beaver. Oh, you have an empty milk bottle in your hand. I know. audience laughter ill go for you, mom. Hi, mom. Oh, wally. Wally, i wonder if youd mind going to the supermarket for me. Well, i guess i could. Im not hardly doing anything. Wally, you never use not and hardly together. Either youre not doing anything, or youre hardly doing anything. Ohl, i wasnt sure, so i stuck them both in. Well, as long as you go to the market. Sure. Ill go get my jacket. Fine. Oh, um, hey mom. You got an empty milk bottle in your hand. audience laughter june laughs oh beaver, you know both of you boys should watch your grammar. Gee mom, this is saturday. They make us watch it all day in school. audience laughter knocking good morning, mrs. Cleaver. Good morning, eddie. Come on in. Good morning, theodore. Eddie, how come youre only polite audience laughter uh, mrs. Cleaver, is wally ready . Ready . Yes, he and i had a date to go jumping this morning. audience laughter jumping . Yes, at the trampoline place. Its very helpful, mrs. Cleaver. It develops your coordination and timing. And a lot of girls hang around there, too. audience laughter hi, eddie. Hi, wally. Eddie tells me you two have a date. Oh gee, eddie, i forgot. I was just going to the market for mom. Well, thats all right. But i did break two previous engagements to go jumping with you. audience laughter well, all right, wally, you can go ahead. Ill find some other way to get my groceries. Gee, thanks a lot, mom. Its all right. Mrs. Cleaver, you should try caters market, like my mother does. They deliver. Of course its a little more expensive. audience laughter thank you, eddie. audience laughter yes, mom . Do you think you could possibly go to the market for me . Sure, mom, i think i could possibly go. audience laughter upbeat music hey, beav, just cause you gotta go shopping, how come i gotta go shopping with ya . cause youre the only kid i know whose got a wagon. audience laughter oh. Gee, larry, dont you like to go to market . Uh uh. How come . cause when i was a little kid, i used to knock things over in the market and my mom would hit me. audience laughter hey, larry, look theres a wallet aw, its just a hunk of junk someone threw away. audience laughter look, larry, its stuffed with money boy there must be hundreds of dollars in there has it got any name on it . Uh uh, its just stuffed with money. Boy its lucky we found it well its lucky i found it you said it was a hunk of junk well, i meant the wallet was a hunk of junk. I didnt mean the money was a hunk of junk. Come on, beav, lets go someplace and divvy it up. We cant do that. We gotta find who it belongs to, cause thats what were supposed to do. Yeah. You know, its too bad were not two guys from mars who dont know what you supposed to do, then we could spend the money on bicycles or something. audience laughter too bad, but if we were two guys from mars, we wouldnt know how to ride bicycles. audience laughter yeah. Well, we better go tell our parents we found it. Yeah. We better go to my house. Its closer. audience laughter are you sure no one around the market saw them . Two boys, Beaver Cleaver and larry mondello. Oh, well if you should see them, would you ask them to call home . Thank you, bye. Are you back from the dentist so soon . Yep, he took one look at my teeth, said id been a good boy and sent me home. audience laughter your son didnt show up at the market. Wally . Beaver. He was going to pick up larry and then he was going to go do my shopping and that was almost two hours ago. Well, two boys on a saturday morning can find a lot of delightful diversions. I remember when i was a kid, i used to fool around watching the milkman feed his horse, or the water wagon wet down the dirt streets. Well, thats fine, dear, but this is the 20th century. audience laughter where do you suppose beaver could be . Well, i dont know, dear. But if hes not back soon, ill go look for him. I thought wally was going to do your shopping for you. Well, he was, but eddie stopped by and they went out jumping. Oh. audience laughter on the trampoline. Beaver said its a new way to meet girls. audience laughter well, what wont they think of next . But this is the 20th century. audience laughter upbeat music gee, larry, when we first came in here i thought it was a good idea, but now i dont think so. Well, my mom wasnt home. Where else could we go with a wallet . Yeah. Well, i just feel kinda funny sitting in a Police Station. How come . We havent done anything wrong. But gee, larry, someone might see us sitting here and think we did something to put us in jail audience laughter yeah. Thats kinda what happened to the count of monte cristo. Whos he . Its a story i saw on television. They put him in a dungeon cause he was flirtin with a Police Chiefs girlfriend. audience laughter well, gee, larry. Were not old enough to do anything like that. Alls we did was find the wallet. audience laughter yeah. I guess were okay. Well, hello there. Are you the two boys who found a wallet . Yes, sir. Im theodore cleaver, and this is my friend larry mondello. We found it over on grant avenue, in the gutter. Show it to him, beaver. Well, how much money is in here . Well, we counted it three times. audience laughter and once there was 87 dollars, and once there was 89 dollars. And the last time we counted it, there was 91 dollars. audience laughter we were kinda nervous cause we never counted that much money before. audience laughter oh i see. Well, if you boys will just come in the office with me, ill make out a report and give you a receipt. Then what happens, mister . Well, we keep the wallet in the safe. And after r n days, if no one calls for it, then the finder gets the money. Boy oh boy by the way, which one of you actually found it . He did, mister. I just said it was a hunk of junk. Oh, i see. upbeat music well, thank you for calling, mrs. Mondello. Yes, ill call you back if i hear anything. Joan joan. What is it, dear . That was larrys mother on the phone. Oh, are the boys over there . No, but theyve been there because they left a note saying where they were going. Well, where are they . Theyre at the Police Station. audience laughter at the Police Station . Ward hi, mom. Hi, dad. Well, whats the matter . Did i do something wrong . Wally, your brother left for the market with larry this morning and now weve just heard theyre at the Police Station well, gee, mom, that doesnt mean they swiped anything at the market. audience laughter they coulda just been around when it was held up or something. audience laughter wally, they never even got to the market. Now, im sure when we find out what this is all about, itll be nothing. Sure. You guys are probably just blowing your tops for nothing. audience laughter were not blowing our tops, wally door slams [beaver] hey, mom hey, dad im home beaver, are you all right . Sure, im all right. Well, beaver, where are the groceries . audience laughter gee, dad, i didnt get to get em. Hey, how come they yanked you down wally, i think i can handle this. Now, beaver, youve been gone exactly two hours and a half. Now, what precisely did happen . Well, on the way to the market, larry and i were looking in the gutter. And we found a wallet. And larrys house was closer, so we took it there, but nobody was home, so we took it to the Police Station and in ten days i get to keep the money audience laughter you found a wallet, and you took it to the Police Station . Beaver, are you telling the truth . Oh sure, dad. Heres even the recipe the man gave me. audience laughter 89 dollars wow boy, what a lucky goof oh, sorry bout the grocery order, mom. Oh, thats all right, beaver. Your father and i can drive to the market. Well, beaver, we were very upset here. But im certainly proud of you that you took the wallet to the Police Station and turned it in. Well, ill see what sort of lunch i can scrape up. Ill give you a hand. That ill get to keep the 89 dollars . Well, gee, i dont know, beav. If you think youre gonna get to keep it, you probably wont. Then if i think i wont get it, does that mean i will . audience laughter no, it doesnt work that way neither. The best thing to do is just to wait 10 days and hope for the best. audience laughter yeah. You know something, wally . I wish i could go to sleep for 10 days. audience laughter yeah, sure. Hey beav, whatta you been writing there . Im makin a list of the stuff im gonna buy when i get the 89 dollars. Yeah. Whatta got on there . A tennis racket, an army sword, a pair of hip boots hey, wait a minute, beav. What would you want with a pair of hip boots . Around rescuing people. Aw, youre goofy, beaver. You better not go around counting your chickens before theyre hatched. Yeah. I guess its the same with money as it is with chickens. audience laughter hi, fellas. Hi, dad. Hi, dad. You know, beaver, ive been thinking about that money you found. Hes been thinking about it too, dad. Hes practically got it all spent. audience laughter yeah. Well, beav, i think we should make an effort to locate the owner. I think itd be a good idea to put an ad in the paper. Gee, dad, i thought i was being honest enough already. audience laughter someone may have lost that money who really needs it. You know, someone who has to buy food and clothing for a family. Well sure, beav. You dont want someone kicking the bucket just cause you want a pair of hip boots. audience laughter yeah, i guess i wouldnt be lucky enough to have a millionaire lose it. Well, ill tell you what, beaver. You think it over, and tomorrow you okay, dad. I know youre disappointed, son. But its the right thing to do. Wally, would it be right to pray that nobody claims the money . Not if you put an ad in the paper. They youd have two things working against each other. audience laughter upbeat music hey, wally, nobodys home. Lets call up some girls and pretend were talent scouts. audience laughter hello, eddie. Oh, hi, mrs. Cleaver. Gee, mrs. Cleaver, your hair looks real pretty today. Well, you should know, eddie, being a talent scout. audience laughter yeah. Wally, if you go upstairs, dont bother your brother. Hes working on his lost and found ad. Oh sure, mom. Gee, eddie, cant you ever watch what youre saying . Well, how did i know your mom was hiding in the den . audience laughter blows eraser dust hey, beav. Hi, wally. Hi, eddie. You guys arent supposed to disturb me. We know, we know. You wanna hear what i have . Okay. I found a green wallet in the gutter with 89 dollars in it. It was on grant avenue near 10th street on saturday. And if you lost it, you can get it at the mayfield Police Station. Signed theodore cleaver. Well, that tells just about everything. Look, kid, your pop said you had to put an ad in the paper, he didnt say you had to draw a map. Whatta you mean, eddie . With all that stuff in there, the owners gonna know right away its his. Well, thats the idea, isnt it, eddie . Sure, but you can cut out all those details. audience laughter no, it wouldnt. If the guy lost it, he knows its green. If he lost it on grant avenue, he knows that too. Just put in there, found. One wallet. Yeah, i guess thatd be all right. Sure. And why put in there about the Police Station . The guy who lost it might be a crook. Walks into the Police Station, theyre liable to arrest him. You better leave your name out, too, boy. Why . [eddie] why . If the guys a crook, hes liable to come around and rub you out for stealing his money. audience laughter youre messing with dynamite, kid. If i were you, id just tear it up. audience laughter cut it out, eddie you better show it to dad. Hell fix it up. Yeah, i guess so. Hey, eddie. How come youre always giving beaver the business . Im not giving him the business, im just trying to wise him up. I dont want him going out into the world and getting slaughtered. audience laughter hi. I thought you were going to be home early this afternoon. Well, i would have been, but i drove Fred Rutherford home. And he had to stop by his insurance brokers. He thinks he broke his toe. audience laughter well, howd he do that . Got up in the night, slammed the bedroom door on it. How did that happen . Well, i didnt ask him for details, but he said it was gwendolyns fault. audience laughter you know, beaver came home right from school again today. And he called the sergeant down at the Police Station twice, asking about the money. Yeah, i guess hes pretty anxious. Anyone claim it yet . No, and he has eight more days to go. Do you think anyone will . I dont know. But however it turns out, beavers gonna have a week hell never forget. audience laughter hello, sergeant . This is theodore cleaver. I just got home from school. Did anyone show up to claim my found money today . Oh, they didnt . Well, yes sir. I know i dont have to call up everyday. Yes, sir. Goodbye. Yes, im calling for my brother theodore, on account he doesnt wannna bother ya. Oh, um, yes sir. Yes, sir. Thank you. Did anyone claim it, wally . Uh uh. Oh boy thats right, sergeant, im calling about the wallet. No, this isnt another cleaver. This is a mondello. Thats a name audience laughter im calling for my friend theodore, on account of his parents told him not to call you anymore. Oh. Thank you. Goodbye. Not yet boy, larry. It two whole days, ill be almost a millionaire yeah audience laughter yes, ward, the officer called from the Police Station and beaver went right down there after school. Well, this is the tenth day. Looks like hes going to get his money. He was so excited and happy. And hes going to give larry ten dollars, just because he was with him when he found it. Well, you know were pretty lucky to have a boy who thinks of other people. Would you have given your parents silk pajamas . Well, dear, i was brought up on a farm. Silk pajamas were something you only saw in movies. audience laughter theodore, if you can wait a few minutes, the sergeant will come out and talk to you. I already waited ten whole days, so i guess i can wait a few more minutes. audience laughter thats fine. Hello, there. Hello, lady. Are you alone . Yes, maam. Arent you rather young to come to a place like this by yourself . Uh uh. I only look young. audience laughter no, i didnt. Neither did i. Well, i came here to see about the lost and found. Well, so did i. Well, i found something and theyre gonna give it to me. Well, i lost something. I guess that puts us both in the same boat. Well, i guess you lost a dog or a cat or something, huh, lady . audience laughter no, as a matter of fact, i lost a wallet. Theres hundreds of people who lose wallets. I ppose they do. Was it a red wallet . Or maybe a black one . No, it was green. Yeah, and you lost it on grant avenue near 10th street and it had 89 dollars in it. You must be the one who found it. Yeah, im the one. Well, thats wonderful yeah, isnt it . You see ive been out of town, and i just got back this morning and i saw an ad in the paper. We put it in there. Well, i see you two have already met. Yes, sir. Its her wallet. That a nice honest little fellow like this found it. I certainly am, and i think hes just a wonderful boy. Im going to take your name and address and send you the very nicest present i can find. Gee thanks a lot, lady kisses june, i was just looking out of an upstairs window. What in the world is beaver doing sitting out on the curb on a saturday morning . Dear, hes waiting for the mailman. Well, it was four or five days ago that woman said she sent him a present. Hasnt he given up hope yet . No, i guess when youre beavers age, you just dont know enough about the world to give up hope so soon. Well, i think thats an awful thing for that woman to do. Dear, do you think it would help if we called the sergeant and told him what she did . What good would that do, dear . They started arresting people for selfishness, half the world would be in jail. Hey, mom hey, dad hey, wally it came, it came its my present from the wallet lady the mailman just gave it to me it was parcel posted well hey, whats all the screaming about . Its my present from the wallet lady well, she finally came through, huh . Well, i know she would i knew she would look, wally, its a radio with a clock in its middle boy, beaver, and i was beginning to think that lady was just giving you the business. Its a very nice present, beaver. You can use it to get to school on time. Yeah. And i can use for good stuff, too. audience laughter you should be very happy, beaver. Thats quite a reward. Well sure, dad. I knew shed send it. All this time, shes probably been looking in the store to find Something Real good. Come on, wall, lets take it upstairs and see how it works. Well, that sure is neat, beav. It is a very nice reward, dear. When did you find time to buy it . Yesterday, noon time. I may have gone a little overboard, but i think it was worth 16. 95 to restore his faith in human nature. I think so, too. Hey, whatre you doing, beav . Setting it for six oclock. Six oclock . Yeah, so i can wake up and set it for seven. audience laughter youre goofy, beaver. knock at door well, fellas, we just came upstairs to say goodnight. Did you finish your homework, wally . Yeah. Beaver was playing the radio, so i had to finish it up in the bathroom. audience laughter oh, well now, beaver, thats all right the first day, but i dont want you doing that on school nights. Sure, dad. Dad, would you put this in a envelope and mail it from your office . Sure. Uh uh. Its a thank you letter for the lady who sent me the radio. I called the Police Station and got where she lives. Oh i see. Well, i wrote her. Dear mrs. Tomkins, thank you for sending me the radio for finding your wallet in the gutter. Every time i play the radio, or it wakes me up, i will think about you. I hope you will also think about me sometimes. Yours truly, theodore cleaver. Hey, thats pretty good, beav. Maybe you are learning something in school. audience laughter isnt it all right, mom . Oh yes, beaver, its very nice. Ill take care of it for you, beav. Thanks, dad. Goodnight, fellas. Goodnight, dad. Goodnight, dad. Goodnight, wally. Goodnight, mom. Goodnight, beav. Goodnight, mom. Wally, do you know any station that plays indian music . Whatre you talking about . I just thought itd be nice to be waked up by indian music. Look, you just gotta set it and take your chances. It might wake you up with a commerical, or a Weather Report or anything. Its a very sweet note, isnt it . Uh huh. Shame you cant mail it for him. Well, ill mail it the first thing in the morning. You are . You bet i am. Maybe when that miss tompkins reads it, i dont know how you can sit there so calmly. This will be our first real vacation in five years. Do you realize where well be tomorrow night at this time . Mmhmm. Sitting under a caribbean moon with no thoughts of diapers, dinners, or demand feedings. Yeah, well be guzzling exotic rum drinks a thousand miles away from layouts, business lunches, and larry. Do you realize that he is the reason we havent had a vacation in five years . Somehow he always manages to work it out so that we cant go. Yeah, well, not this time. Were leaving tomorrow morning. I just have a feeling the phones going to ring any minute. [ doorbell rings ] there. You see . Oh. Forget it. Huh . Were going on our vacation, and nothing you can do is going to stop us. Bravo have you two gone bananas . Is this the way you treat someone whos come all this way to wish you bon voyage . Im sorry, larry. I guess we both lost our heads. Yes. Were both a little lightheaded. I cant think of two people who deserve it more. Thats darn nice of you. Louise sends her best. Oh well, thank her. How is she . Fair. Fair . Shes got a little upperrespiratory something. Oh, well, thats a shame. Yeah, kind of hate to leave her, but first thing tomorrow morning, off i go to chicago. Cant you take her with you . Unhunh. Shes not well enough to travel. Why dont you put off the trip to chicago . The only reason im going is because you couldnt. Oh. Yeah. But listen. I didnt come here to burden you. I just brought a little goingaway present. Its a portable bar to make those carefree, happy moments even happier and carefreeer. Oh how about that . Larry, thats very sweet. Its on the company. Well, got to go. I have to stop by the pharmacy and pick up a prescription. Sam, id appreciate it if youd look in on louise while im oh, whats the matter with me . You wont even be here. Maybe ill call my mother and ask her to no, shed only make louise feel worse. Well, louise is used to being alone. And she can reach the doctor in an emergency, thats all that larry. Yes . You want me to go to chicago for you, dont you . Whered you ever get an idea like that . Oh, he just made a wild stab. Believe me, the thought never entered my mind. Unless. Wait a minute. You mean youd make a stop in chicago on your way to the caribbean . Chicago is on the way to the caribbean only if youre going around the world first. [ chuckles ] sure. I was just. Dreaming. Well, have a ball. Think of me on the icy streets of chicago. [ door opens ] i wont be leaving till 10 00 in the morning, just for your information, in case you need anything. Do you believe it . Only because i heard it. And i think before we leave, were going to hear it again. Well, as far as im concerned, hes just shouting down a rain barrel. Well, at least we got a portable bar out of it. Just the same, its going to be interesting to see whos on that plane to chicago tomorrow morning. I guarantee you it wont be me unless theres a way i can be in two places at the same time. Darrin, shh whos gonna hear me . The walls have ears. And so has my mother. Remember what happened the last time you said you couldnt be in two places at once. Remember . Itd be easier to forget my name. Well, it did have its funny side, too. You were so anxious for me to get to that hospital in time to have that baby that you didnt even want to go to work. There i was, bragging to mother about what a devoted husband you are when you barged in and announced. Sam, i dont know how to tell you this, but, well, i have to fly to japan this afternoon. Well, its only for a few days. And only this morning he didnt want to leave you to go to the office. [ laughs ] what a difference a day makes. I tried everything i could to get out of it. I reasoned. I argued. I you did everything but refuse. I couldnt refuse, sam. Mr. Tanaka, president of tanaka enterprises, is going back to japan today. And if i make the trip with him, well be able to go over my layouts on the plane, and it might just clinch the deal. Sweetheart, you have no choice. Go. Yes go. Samantha will be in the best possible hands. [ water running ] tabitha, are you playing with the hose . Tabitha yes, mommy. Im watering my sand. Well discuss this in a minute over lunch. I think ill make lunch. Sam looks tired. That moneymad boss of yours wont exactly love it if you dont show up on that plane. Sam is more important to me than any job. Too bad you cant be in two places at once. Well, we cant have everything. Thats one thing we mortals learned to accept long ago. [ ding ] atoms split, and so can man. Be in both places here and japan. Oh, sam, i made our lunch. Do you want it on the patio . What are you doing here . I thought you were going to tokyo. You did . What gave you that idea . Um. I guess i got the idea when you said, im going to tokyo. But i told you i wasnt going. Havent we been through all this . Yes. We certainly have. Then why are we going through it again . Becau i dont know yet. Ill get the lunch. Okay, mommy. Mother, i would like a word with you. Of course, darling. Admit it, mother. You divided darrin. I dont see why youre so upset. Hell be furious oh ill admit that made it irresistible. All right, mother, youve had your fun. Now put him back together. Oh, samantha, what harm can it do . Half of him wanted to stay home, and half of him wanted to make a business deal in tokyo. You should thank me. Tabitha, will you open the door . Darrin do you feel any different . Different than what . Never mind. No, thanks. Now, our sales approach should stress the quality factor of tanaka electronics. Uhhuh. If we could stress the high degree of Quality Control that exists on the Assembly Line of each and every tanaka product, then i think well be in business. Now, this graph shows your not now. Oh, well, how about this graph . It indicates your sales posture for the last year. Mr. Stephens, please. At the moment, its not sales posture im interested in. Its delicious, sweetheart. There wasnt too much salt in the omelet . No, no, no. Its just fine. The coffee . It isnt too strong . I love strong coffee. As a matter of fact, its so good, i think ill save it for lunch. Okay. Now, you go in the living room and sit down and make yourself comfortable sweetheart, its enough that you cooked breakfast. I will not have you washing the dishes. And i will not have you Walking Around any more than you have to. Just sit right down here and take the weight off those feet. Its a little chilly in here. Ill get you a blanket. Dont bother, sweetheart. Im fine. No, no, no, no. Ill make a fire. Thatll make it all nice and warm and cozy. Darrin. Hmm . Im already nice and warm and cozy. As a matter of fact, im getting a little hot. Youre hot . Ill open the patio door. Why dont you build a fire and open the patio door at the same time . That way you have everything. Mother. Good morning, endora. Its always nice to see you. What did i do to deserve that . As if you didnt know. Sweetheart, i have an idea. Why dont you i was just going to suggest that you go out and play golf. Oh, no. I couldnt play golf. Id be worried sick about you. Sweetheart, i feel fine. And the only thing that would make me feel great would be if you went out and played golf. I would really enjoy sitting here thinking about that. Well, all right, but im only playing golf for you. Ill get my clubs. You sure i cant get you something, sam a little coffee, a little warm milk . A little peace. Nothing, sweetheart. Mother, put him back together. Why . Because i only want one darrin. I know what you mean, dear. Its humiliating to look as if youve made the same mistake twice. Put him back [ sighs ] where do you want him . In japan, of course, so he can finish his business deal. Samantha ill have to zonk him across the International Date line. That isnt going to be easy. [ golf clubs clank ] ill see you later, honey. Oh, wait a minute what . What . Before you go, uh, i have a campaign in mind to show the consumer the growing importance of electronics in his daily life. Now, to the average person, electronics is something they feel is just beyond their intelligence. What i plan to accomplish is to humanize, so to speak mr. Stephens, would you mind taking your plate from my wife . As you can see, shes quite pregnant. And at this time, its difficult for her to bend and place it before you. Oh. Of course. I understand. My wife is pregnant, too. Good. Im glad to see youre not all work. [ laughs ] [ giggles ] thats cute. Now, on page seven. Hurry up, mother. Oh, believe me, samantha, it would be much easier to zap the working derwood back from japan. Thats merely a reversethespell spell. Hold it. Here you are, sweetheart. I didnt know what you wanted, so i brought sugar and cream and lemon. There. Here, let me get those pillows. Ill put them behind your back, then youll be all nice and comfy, hmm . Darrin. Hmm . Um, would you mind toasting me a couple of crumpets, welldone . Coming up. Thank you, mrs. Tanaka, for a very delicious dinner. Now, lets get back to business. Here, dear. Let me help you with that. If youll excuse me, mr. Stephens, i will assist my wife with the dishes. You see how much ive learned from your western culture . But i havent even told you our ideas youre all business, arent you, mr. Stephens . You really should learn how to play a little. [ laughs ] sirloins and sapphires and all things rare. Take the derwood from here and send him back there. [ ding ] your crumpets are on, honey. Ill put the clubs away. Ive decided i dont want to play golf. [ ding ] [ ding ] [ ding ]. Anyway. Im sorry it took me so long, but but im. Glad to see you had time to change into something more comfortable. Mr. Stephens. May i ask where you got those golf clubs and how you changed so quickly . Uh, clubs. I got the golf clubs at the a little pro shop where i play, uh, golf. Change i, uh and change i, uh well, i like ive always liked to change. After all, the world is changing. Yes. Nice place you have. Very oriental. You seem rather upset to me. I have a feeling youre very concerned about your wife. Oh, i am. Very. I am very concerned about what im doing here. Well, i dont blame you. Larry tate should never have insisted on you coming to japan, not with your wife about to have a baby. Frankly, had i known, i would have suggested we conclude our business at a later date. Now, would you like me to drive you to the airport . Oh, i certainly would. Im sure my wife needs me desperately. Ill get the keys. Enough of two dumdums. Let us have one derwood the big, crashing bore. I asked for an incantation, not a revue. [ sighs ] [ ding ] there you are. Two for the price of one. All right, mr. Stephens, were ready to hes gone. Whats going on . Well, sweetheart, its rather hard to explain. I have the feeling this is the work of your mother, the wicked witch. Ahahahahah. There. There. You see, mother . Hes back to normal. [ ding ] okay, sam. Out with it. Well, yesterday when you couldnt decide whether to wait a minute. On second thought, i think ill make a drink. There isnt any ice. I dont think ill need any ice. Well, um, yesterday when you couldnt make up your mind whether to go to japan or wait a minute. What yesterday . What happened to today . Well, today is really tomorrow. I dont know if i can explain this. Try. Well, you see, today is really today, but somewhere along the line, you lost a day. Where did i lose it . [ laughs ] well, it isnt exactly lost. Its just that you dont remember. I think ill make it a double. You see, you couldnt decide and the business side of you was having a struggle with the, uh, dear, devoted, considerate samantha, get on with it. Um, mother divided you and sent the business side to tokyo. I think ill make it a triple. The, uh, domestic d and the business darrin came here. They sort of switched. Oh, boy. I think ill make it a quadruple. Okay. Ill tell you the rest after you pass out. You pay your Car Insurance premium like clockwork. Month after month. Year after year. Then one night, you hydroplane into a ditch. Yeah. Your Insurance Company tells you to pay up again. Why pay for insurance if you have to pay even more for using it . If you have Liberty Mutual deductible fund , you could pay no deductible at all. Sign up to immediately lower your deductible by 100. And keep lowering it 100 annually, until its gone. Then continue to earn that 100 every year. Theres no limit to how much you can earn and this savings applies to every vehicle on your policy. Call to learn more. Switch to Liberty Mutual and you could save up to 509. Call Liberty Mutual for a free quote today at see Car Insurance in a whole new light. Liberty mutual insurance. But mother actually thought she was doing you a favor by splitting you in half. Sure. If your mother was really interested in my welfare, shed migrate to another planet. I have a feeling i shouldnt have raked over the coals. Theyre obviously still burning. You all packed . Why . Think we ought to go upstairs and unpack . What are you talking about . Oh. You dont seriously think that larry is still gonna try to con me into going to chicago . You dont seriously think that hes gonna give up after one little try . Larry is made of much sterner stuff. Sam, i promise you here and now, no matter what trick larry pulls, no matter how much he pleads or threatens, i am not going to postpone our vacation. [ doorbell rings ] want odds on who that is . Ill get rid of him so fast itll make his head spin. Cant straighten up. Its an old football injury. Just on the way to the hospital. Darrin, i hate to do this to you. Larry, ive just got one thing to say to you. Of course hell go to chicago for you. What . Its the least he can do for an old friend. And, larry, dear, dont you give a thought to our foolish little vacation. You have to think about yourself. Sam. Youre a gem. Real gem. I dont believe my ears. [ ding ] darrin, look, here it comes again. A bat a vampire bat cover your head [ ding ] okay, its gone. Just be sure you take good care of that portable bar i lent you. Last one to finish packing is a rotten egg. Whoo darrin captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com all right oh, tabitha, come on. Adam ate almost all of his lunch. Now, you finish yours so we can go shoppin yoohoo, esmeralda . [ ding ] hello, samantha. Is, um. Yes, but hell be leaving in a minute. Oh, good. [ ding ] hello, tabitha. Hello, esmeralda. Esmeralda, would you mind babysitting while i take tabitha to get some shoes and while darrin goes to the driving range to hit some golf balls. Or at hello, esmeralda. How nice to see you. For a change. [ ding ] ooh, what i meant was its always nice to see you. [ ding ] thank you, mr. Stephens. Samantha, have you seen my golf glove . Isnt it with your clubs . No, and its not upstairs. Then it must be downstairs. Ill help you look tabitha, please, finish your lunch. Im not hungry. Sweetheart, youve been saying that an awful lot lately. I think its psychological. I think its related to her feelings toward the new baby. That spells baby. Smart, isnt she . Tabitha, will you please eat your lunch . No, i dont want to. Young lady, youll finish everything on your plate, or youll go straight to you room. Lets go look for your golf glove. Shes expressing her emotions of rivalry by refusing to eat. I wish i could help her. Well, i can. Ill break through her appetite barrier by casting a as a trumpet sounds with a shimmering beat, she who drinks this will crave to eat. Sweetheart. Where is that boo how to line up your fourth putt . That was called how to improve your swing. Sounds like the same thing to me. On the tv set. Why . It looks like a rose you were saving from your first dance. Thanks. [ smooches ] see you later. Have fun. Esmeralda, where are you headed . Oh, im taking tabitha her milk. Never mind. But her little stomachs empty. And her little stubborn streak cannot go unpunished, so she will stay in her room. For at least a good 10 minutes. Ill put her milk in the refrigerator so it doesnt go to waste. Oh, it wont go to waste. Samantha, you drank tabithas milk. So . It wasnt wasted. It wasnt intended for you. Oh, thats all right. Its all in the family. [ tinkles ] you do all this research on a perfect car then smash it into a tree. Your Insurance Company raises your rates. Maybe you should have done more research on them. For drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. Just one of the many features call for a free quote today. See Car Insurance in a whole new light. [ ding ] mr. Druggist, may i please have something that might help oh, not mr. Druggist, mr. Apothecary purveyor of prescriptions to some of the biggest names in the cosmos. Oh, excuse me, mr. Apothecary, i need something gee, how about some premiumgrade nightingales tongues . Theyre going for a song. Thats an oldie but a goody. Will they cure a hunger spell . No, but theyre great for warlocks foot. I appreciate your peachy sense of humor, but i need something to cure a hunger spell which i cast, and now i cant remove. Dont know as much as you think you know, huh . Thats the trouble with you teenagers. Oh, im not a teenager. Im a young unmarried. I was hoping maybe you could give me a potion. No maybes about it, cuckoo. [ knock on door ] mrs. Stephens, are you busy . Mnhmnh. Not at all, mr. Kravitz. I was just getting ready to make myself a sandwich. You already have one. I know. But somehow, i think im gonna want another. Boy, are you a fast eater. That was Peanut Butter and jelly. Would you like me to make one for you . No, thanks. Mrs. Stephens, my wife generously offered to circulate a petition then went to visit her mother, so excuse me. Its a petition to, uh. Do you mind if i come back sometime when youre less hungry . You do mind . Ah, thank you. Bon appetite. Anybody home . Im in the kitchen. Samantha, no joking about it, youre a witch with an eating problem. Back from the shoe store . I didnt go. No . Tabitha still pouting . Oh, no. Oh, shes fine. Shes playing outside. Then why didnt you take her shopping . Because the shoe store doesnt sell hamburgers. I guess i should ask what that means. Sweetheart, i dont want to alarm you, but theres something wrong with me. I have a virus that creates an uncontrollable craving for food. Well, ive tried to call dr. Bombay. Five times. But he didnt answer. I forgot. Saturdays his afternoon for his buffalo polo game. How could you forget that . It wasnt easy. In the meantime, i just ate tonights dinner. So better go to the market. Ill take you. If youre sick, you shouldnt drive. Whos gonna stay with the kids . Isnt esmeralda here . No. No, she went on an errand. Oh, but ill get her. How soon will it be ready . Well, thats tough im a slow worker. Except with a groovy chick like you. Samantha yoohoo, esmeralda whoever paged you pooped my potion. Now ive got to start all over again. [ ding ] [ groans ] [ ding ] you called . Oh, uh, yes. Esmeralda, can you stay with the kids while mr. Stephens how do you feel . Hungry. I should have told her, and i will. I definitely will. Ill tell her. Right after i cure her. Sam, control yourself. Yes, sweetheart, ill try. Young woman, thats my apple. I no longer desire it. Samantha, will you stop that . How . Hey, whats she doing . Shes eating your lettuce. Hey, man, what a farout thing to be hooked on. But, baby, if your bag is shoplifting, dont steal from me. Steal from the store. [ with mouth full ] want to put the groceries in the kitchen . Esmeralda, how is everything . Oh, fine. Tabithas up in her room, and adams taking a nap. Do you need me anymore . Oh, no. No, im gonna take tabitha to get her shoes on monday, and [ ding ] i guess she had a date. Why dont you try dr. Bombay again . He should have his buffalo back at the stable by now. Calling dr. Bombay calling dr. Bombay emergency come right away [ ding ] dr. Bombay is unavailable. His buffalo polo match went into triple overtime. How thrilling. May i help you . Who are you . Im his new trained nurse. Oh. Well, im samantha stephens, and i think im suffering from voracious ravenousitis. Do you know how to cure that . Ive never even heard of it. You have never heard of voracious ravenousitis . I thought you were a trained nurse. I am, but thats not what im trained in. Ill give the doctor your message. [ ding ] should i take a wild guess at what she is trained in . Say, i just thought of something. What . I really want to show you something. Karen o. 1, 2, ready, go love its a mystery all is love is love ow [howling] announcer for great play ideas, visit www. Smallstep. Gov. I thought you were in the babys room, but you werent. No, im here. Im just fixing myself a little sandwich. You call that little . Oh, be gentle with me, darrin. Ive become a foodaholic. Esmeralda oh oh, come on, baby. Hows about a kiss . No. Oh, come on, now, its saturday night, and were young. Oh, dear, im in a hurry. Well, im waiting for an ingredient i had to orde lately, deliveries from neptune have been running late. So just to keep us occupied, lets fool around, you know what i mean . I dont want to oh, dont fight it, baby. You dig me, and you know it. [ panting ] take five. Oh, sweetheart, would you make me a cup of coffee . With saccharin got to watch those calories. [ ding ] yes, samantha, what is it . Oh, dr. Bombay, im so glad youre here. Who won the polo match . Sam, who cares . I do, and so does my buffalo. Well, whats the problem . I have to get back to an important conference. I know. We saw her. Dr. Bombay, i think i have voracious ravenousitis. Really . I havent seen a good case of voracious ravenousitis well, never mind seeing it, just cure it. My good man, i have to see it before i can cure it. Oh. Left elbow, please. [ warbling ] by all disease, you wont be bested. Your symptoms are forthwith arrested. Thats all . I dont believe in a lot of mumbo jumbo. How do you feel . Stuffed. Darrin, im cured. Doctor, youre okay. If i ever become a warlock, ill use you. If you ever become a warlock, ill become a mortal. [ ding ] [ yawns ] well, sweetheart, lets go back to bed. I have had a very full day. Eat your breakfast, tabitha. Do i have to . Yes. Good morning, darrin, tabitha. Sam . Sam . Good morning, darrin, tabitha. Im sorry i you already said that. I did . What happened . You fell asleep. Thats impossible. She did it again. [ snaps fingers ] hmm . Are you all right . Sure, i feel great brighteyed and bushy darrin, i think there may be something wrong with me. You know what i think i have . Voracious sleepitis . No. No, i think i have a side effect from dr. Bombays cure. You take tabitha upstairs, and ill call him. All right. Come on, honey. Dr. Bombay paging dr. Bombay [ knock on door ] mrs. Stephens . Oh, hhhi, mr. Kravitz. Excuse me for bothering you, but when i circulate a petition, i wear my victims down until they sign it. To refresh your memory from yesterday, this concerns trash collection. [ clears throat ] oh, yes, mr. Kravitz . You fell asleep. Oh, well, im terribly sorry, but things have been a little hectic around here. Apology accepted. It requests the city council to change [ snaps fingers ] but still in all, its our community, and as citizens boy, she must have had some night. I never even knew she drank. [ ding ] is it ready . Is it ready . Oh, ive been working on it all night. Its ready, willing, and able, and so am i. Please, let me have it. Ohh, only in exchange for a kiss. Oh, would you settle for a nice, warm handshake . A kiss, a whole kis whoa. [ smooches ] [ ding ] they just cant keep their lips off of me. Youre late for work. You grab your 10gallon jug of coffee, and back out of the garage. Right into your wifes car. With your wife watching. She forgives you. Eventually. Your Insurance Company, not so much. They say you only have their basic policy. Dont basic policies cover basic accidents . Of course, they say. As long as you pay extra for it. With a Liberty Mutual base policy, new car replacement comes standard. And for drivers with accident forgiveness, Liberty Mutual wont raise your rates due to your first accident. Learn more by calling at Liberty Mutual, every policy is personal, with coverage and deductibles, customized just for you. Which is why we dont offer any offtheshelf policies. Switch to Liberty Mutual and you could save up to 509. Call Liberty Mutual for a free quote today at see Car Insurance in a whole new light. [ ding ] eureka where am i . Samantha, i have the answer. [ gasps ] what was the question . Yesterday, i put a spell on tabithas milk, but you drank it. I deserve your hatred. Im no good. Im a blundering fool who loves not wisely but too well. Esmeralda, you mean, she didnt have voracious ravenousitis . No, but this will cure her. Ah, well, thanks anyway, esmeralda. But im afraid youre too late. I dont get it. Esmeralda, since mrs. Stephens is temporarily indisposed, would you be good enough to call for dr. Bombay . Dr. Bombay paging dr. Bombay [ ding ] this better be pretty important to take me away from my tennis game. Thats what you wear for tennis . It is when im tackling my new nurse. [ laughs ] dr. Bombay, what my wife thought was voracious ravenousitis wasnt. Well, this is terrible. The treatment i prescribed could produce side effects. Yes, it did. She keeps falling asleep. Well, naturally. Because my incantation called for all her symptoms to be arrested. So near and yet so far. Mmm. Oh, dr. Bombay, now, listen quick before i fall asleep. Esmeralda has a potion that will remove her spell. Now, if you can remove your cure, her cure can cure me. Is she right . I dont know, but it cant hurt to try. Left elbow . [ warbling ] the result of my treatment will all fade away. Zipadeedoodah, zipadeea. My, oh, my, what a wonderful day. Bit of a square, arent you . Wow, am i hungry. Samantha, drink this in good health. Did it work . I think so. Yes. Good. In that case, i can get back to my tennis match with my new nurse. And whats the score . I dont know, but my nurse does. [ laughs ] [ ding ] there, you see . Everyone got all excited over nothing. [ ding ] sam . Sam . just a little joke, sweetheart. Captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com you mean, dr. Bellows invited himself for dinner tonight at your place . Yeah. Hes looking for jeannie. Oh, well, dont let him come. Dont you see . Its a trap. Hes not hungry. Hes looking for jeannie. Wait a minute. You know and youre not gonna stop him . Oh, dont worry. Im giving a dinner party tonight. And dr. Bellows and his wife are coming, and i want you to come and bring a girl. Okay, but who . Who are you gonna bring . Kathryn golato. Kathryn you havent seen her in ages. Yeah, well, im seeing her tonight. What about jeannie . Whats gonna happen when she finds another girls at your house for dinner . Yeah. Dont worry about jeannie