Behind. He left a house. Was this a husband who did want to be found . It does not sound like a missing person. No, it doesnt. Or could this be Something Else . There was something very wrong. They would launch an undercover operation. It is time to come clean. That would lead to a long shock. Were you ready . I know it has to happen. A disappearance in the desert, and could it be the perfect crime . I can only imagine what is it like to keep that type of a s k secret. H hello and welcome to dateline extra im craig melvin. For eight years, it was a mystery a husband who had simply vanished. On the surface, it didnt make sense, because he had a lucrative job and family he loved, but the investigators were told that he also had a secret. So was he missing or was he i hiding . That question would lead the detectives to a dark discovery, because someone else had a secret, too. Heres josh mankiewicz. There is an old saying that two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead. We never talked about what happened or why it happened. Reporter every marriage has its secret, and this one was no different. But what if the secret becomes bigger than you. That was just solving the problem problem. Reporter they were two people who had been unlucky in love the first time around. Back then she was Ellen Sheffield in her early 30s, divorced with a young are child and looking for someone to share that next chapter of her life. And then quite literally in walked mike snyder. I said, hi, mike, how are you doing . Reporter it was the fall of 91. Auto mechanic mike snyder was v visiting a friend at the car dealership where ellen worked. He was curious about the redhead who greeted him with the big hello. He didnt remember who i was, but he got back to work, and called back over to find out who i was. Reporter turned out they had worked together years before. And this time, the quick encounter led to a fixup by mutual friends. Great guy. You know, showed interest in me. Reporter opposites attracted. The quite and introverted mike hit it off with the talkative and outgoing ellen. Hed leave flowers on my car. Wed go out to dinner. He was nice to my son. Reporter and that was important to you . It was very important to me. Absolutely. Reporter and ellen, herself was smitten with mike. He was a skilled mechanic, regarded as one of the very best in albuquerque. He probably worked at least six days a week. He was usually the first one there and the last one to leave. Reporter dave siler worked alongside mike at this dealership. If you had a jeep or an older jeep, mike could fix it. He had a wealth of experience with the skweep product. Reporter and that wealth of knowledge earned him a sixfigure salary. Have oh, yes, i was excited that he was the best. Reporter and part of you knows that it was a irritating to others . Yes. Reporter and mechanic jim hur tau toe called her the fixit problem. What can we do to make the problem go away. That is all she wanted to do was to fix the problem and take care of the customer. Reporter as far as problems, ellens was running on six cylind cylinders. Six weeks after we were dating, he bought me diamond yankees. It was very fast. Reporter so fast that after six months of dating ellen and her 8monthold son michael moved in with him. Did he seem happy . He did. Reporter mike had no ochildren of his own and now he was filling a void in mikes life. El llens sister terri. They would Share Interests and tink mer the garage together. Reporter but it was not long until she noticed that mikes affection was not all that she wished for. We are happy to have valentines day together and we were in love. And he didnt come home. He decided to go out with his friend friends. On valentines day . Yes. And he could not understand why i was upset about that. Reporter but face it not every guy makes a big deal out of valentines day. So ellen shocked it up as not being the most sensitive man. Were you sad . I think i was not just sad, but confused. Reporter but they stayed together and got married and allen was pregnant and they began to build a 4,000squarefoot house in a upscale subdivision in the foothills of the al bu ker can ki mountains. That house was our dream house. Reporter it was ready just in time for the baby. Only mike wasnt ready. He wanted to the stay at work on the day ellen was giving birth. So i called his boz and i said, well, im in the hospital having a baby. And he said, mike is here. I said, yeah, he is. Do you think that you could send him. Reporter once again, not the most sensitive husband, but mike loved that baby girl. They named her elizabeth. She was just the joy of my brothers life. He thought the world of that child. Ellen would come by to bring things by, and mike would get her balloons and candy and soda and give his time to her, and Everything Else stopped. Reporter but behind closed doors mike and ellens marriage was starting to unravel. Ellen said that mike seemed jealous of her success at work. Once i was promoted to service manager, it basically became hurtful and he was stand offish. Reporter and ellen says from the time that elizabeth was conceived, mike had moved out of the bedroom, permanently. We never slept together again. Reporter and so mike andlen began live willing two separate lives in that dream home with their children, but still they stayed together. U i still wanted this marriage to work. I did want to give up. Reporter that is until she learned about that secret, the big secret that would ultimately tear this family apart. I thought that after christmas and everything was done, that i would tell him what i knew. E Perfect Hotel by using tripadvisor thats because tripadvisor lets you start your trip on the right foot. By comparing prices from over 200 booking sites to find the right hotel for you at the lowest price. Saving you up to 30 youll be bathing in savings tripadvisor. 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Reporter you made the rules. He followed is . Yes. Reporter and a marriage that was neither loving or happy. Right. Reporter and eight years of outside lie to the world in the big home that she and her husband mike had worked so hard to build. But el ellen would not leave and determined to make her marriage work. I was not going to be a failure at another marriage. Reporter mike hung on as well, but his sister terri said that mike was thinking of ending it. I believe that he was in the process of leaving her. He was moving belong togs my mothers house. Reporter and mikes daughter elizabeth was 6 years old and very much daddys little girl, and michael, ellens son from ellens first marriage was 17. How was michael towards his father . The older the more harsh. Reporter but then mike snyder got sick and life inside of that home grew much worse for just about everybody in the Snyder Family. His body would go numb, and he would pass out in severe pain. Reporter it was the summer of 2001 when mike went to see a doctor. The doctor said that he believed it was a on osetting case for multiple sclerosis. Reporter multiple sclerosis, no cure for the disease, and it can lead to paralysis and even death. He was put on treatments to slow the progression of the disease. Ellen gave him the shots. It was my place. I was to take care of him. Reporter as time went on, mikes work colleagues like chuck wyatt noticed a physically weaker mike. He was just kind of struggling to make it through the day. We werent told what actually he had or what was going on, but he was not coming into work as often or everyday. Reporter when he could not work at the level he expected of himself, mike went on disability. He was really starting to face it and tried to understand how his life was going to be with m. S. Reporter which only added more stress to the marriage. I am sure that my brother was going through incredible Emotional Turmoil about his physical condition. Reporter maybe that is the reason that mike began waking uplelen in the middle of the night to vent his anger. It was yelling and demeaning and calling names, and telling me how worthless i was. He didnt want to necessarily have the big fights in front of elizabeth and so he would wake me up at 2 00 or 3 00 in the morning reporter and yell at you . Yes. And she was careful not to tell her colleagues about this, because ellen was boss to a bunch of men and if she showed a single chink in the emotional armour she wouldner again be effective. If they see the emotional, that is the focus, and it is all about the woman thing. Reporter they wont respect you anymore . Right. Reporter but she did say aloud that now that mike was sick, she would be there for him as she promised through the good times and the bad. She had to see him through this, because she says, what kind of wife would i be reporter in sickness and in health health. And right, she would not leave him. Reporter but ellen says he had no problem leaving her. And in fact, mike was spending more and more time away from ellen and the family. He was going back and forth between albuquerque and phoenix, and that is where jeep held the continuing education classes in auto mechanics. He still wanted to go to training, because he had been going to training all along through his work history. Reporter but a twoday trip became three days and then four days and then a week. Ellen was becoming increasingly suspicious of exactly what mike was doing on the long trips away from his family and from her. I felt hurt and betrayed that i had gone along all of this time being the good wife with his m. S. Reporter and one night, mike was in the shower and his cell phone was sitting there on the table next to ellen. Curiosity, she says, got the better of her. She picked up his phone and opened it. Reporter and so there were messages. And soy listened to the messages. Reporter and what a shock that was. One message in particular from a man shed never heard mike mention. Someone named dave simmons. A man that ellen believed was the reason that mike was spending so much time in phoenix. He would talk about how satisfied he was with their sexual contact. That he would be explicit as to what each had done to each other. Reporter so it was not really any question no question. T. Reporter what was going on here . No, none. Reporter it was january 2002 and like so many nights before, mike woke her for the screeching match and it was around 2 00 or 3 00 in the morning, and ellen who had never directly confront ed mike about anything said she knew all about the affair he was having with dave simmons the man from phoenix who left those explicit messages on to cell phone. And there was, ellen says, a heated argument and then mike left the next morning. At the jeep are dealership where mike worked, colleagues knew only that he had been out sick for a while. We didnt know if it was cancer or he had come back or not come back, and we had no idea. Reporter this is like losing the star player. Pretty much, yes. Reporter but his tool box was still at work worth around 40,000 and so everyone assumed that hed return, that is until ellen broke the news about michael leaving town. I asked ellen, so how is mike doing . She said, well, he moved to phoenix or arizona. He was living in arizona. Reporter it was also puzzling to mikes family, because they could understand why mike was not talking to ellen, but why was he not talking to them. His calls went to voice mail. We knew that he was not doing well and thinking about leaving ellen, so we were concerned as to why we had not heard from him. Reporter was everything as it seem ed . Was mike really in phoenix, and if so, what was he doing there . Not only does it hold for 12 hours to reduce denture movement, it also helps provide better bite, seals out 74 more food particles, and enhances your denture fit. In fact, 95 of super poligrip® users surveyed believe it makes them feel more confident eating in public. Eat, speak, and smile with confidence. Try super poligrip® today. Its abor it isnt. Ence in 30,000 precision parts. Its inspected by mercedesbenz factorytrained technicians. Or it isnt. Its backed by an unlimited mileage warranty, or it isnt. For those who never settle, its either mercedesbenz certified preowned, or it isnt. The mercedesbenz certified preowned sales event. Now through february 28th. Only at your authorized mercedesbenz dealer. Mike snyder had disappeared. Friends and family wanted to know why. They also wondered why it appeared that his wife, ellen, was not missing him. Once again, josh mankiewicz. Reporter perhaps the the loanest place on earth is the middle of a bad marriage which is exactly where ellen snyder found herself. But in the Early Morning hours of january 11th, 2002, that came to an end. She had confronted her husband mike snyder with her knowledge of his love affair with another man. And in a rage, she says, mike left his home and his family and d disappeared. You know, it was so calm in the house. It had been a very long lonely time to be married and to be lonely everyday and that loneliness was gone. Reporter and what disappeared with mike was el n ellens second marriage which she says she fought so hard to save. Now it had failed just like her first. On the plus side, she says that mike was no longer there to torment her, belittle her and to shout at her. Reporter so your husband is not waking you up in the middle of the night to yell at you. Right. And so it is just you and the kids now . Are just me and the kids. Reporter ellen says she tried to reach him, but couldnt, and neither could mikes family. He was not returning their calls ooeither. Mikes sister, terri. And so ellen says that he has been gone for a couple of weeks and you are thinking that his m. S. Well, we were concerned. Reporter and the family knew that mike was planning to leave soon, and they knew that, but he was not supposed to leave everyone. He never would have done that to his mother, and look, i dont want to be contact and give me my space, but i am okay. Reporter at work, jim hurtado noticed that ellen was more relax ed as if a weight wa lifted from her shoulders. She seemed happier and more content and more at ease. Reporter and unbeknownst to alla ellen the collapsing marriage was the topic at work. She didnt want other people to know. Reporter and so other people did know, and what they said was that mike was a hothead. Reporter mike had h a rep u reputation at work for having a hot temper, and for being intimidating. Mechanic dave siler worked with limb for a decade. There was a lot of tension, and you could just feel it from him. And you know, a lot of people were very careful around him what they said, what they did. Reporter because mikes fuse could blow. And when it did, you did want to be around. He could blow up at the dispatchers and the supervisors and, you know, the dispatcher would be crying. Reporter so it did not come as a big surprise whenlelen announced that mike had leftt her. He packed up the stuff and moved to phoenix probably going to end up in phoenix, and the marriage must be over. Reporter the rumors spread through the albuquerque auto business quicker than the latest recall. Mike left town, and took the money out of the house, and took all of these things, and just disappeared and then later on now, i was hearing rumors that he was gay, had a male lover and went to the caribbean. Reporter you have any idea who the source of the rumors was . No. Everybody heard it and passed along throughout the dealersh dealerships. Reporter did you believe it . Disappearing was kind of one thing, but being gay, no. Reporter several months passed with no word from mike. And now his side of the family was so concerned that they decided to go to the police. I knew at some point we had to move on. We had to the not just hope that he was out there, but we had to at least explore other options. Reporter down at the Albuquerque Police station sister terri filed a missing persons report. She had a feeling that something had happened to her brother. It is one thing to leave a bad marriage, but quite another to end contact with the daughter mike loved. I know my brother remained steadfast in the love for his daughter, and she was the joy of his life. I believe he fell victim to foul life. I did not have a concrete explanation other than that is just how i felt. That was my gut. Reporter but terri was not pleased with the response that the officer gave them. The officer that took our report was a little arrogant and he said that he is a green adult and he can come and go as he pleasesk, and so at that time, he did not want to write our report. Reporter the police were making the essentially same argument as allen . Yes. Reporter mike snyders name was entered into the National Missing persons database, but nothing much that the police could do or would do. Albuquerque police chief ray schultz. It is not against the law to be a missing person unless there are suspicious circumstances. And mike was to reporter and the police chief said that he had every right to walk away from not only the people he didnt love and those he did. So the investigation was reduced to that of a missing person. And then spring turned to winter and nobody heard from mike snyder, and the expensive tools lay unused at work. And ellen, now a single mom f e filed for divorce and s