Grief. there's just doing and sometimes you say that didn't work well for me. i'm just going to do it again. that's the only way. it's like keep going. >> yeah. i've learned from my own personal experience the onlyay over it is through it, and you never really get over it per se especially like in our case we both lost our moms, but as someone said to me, it's like a big black cloud, and it rains and it rains and it irans, and it starts raining harder just when you feel like you can't take it anymore. it keeps range and then one day it -- it clears out, right, and you're doing a little bit bet...