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I didn't know who i was. i wanted to play sports because i wanted to go to college, you know, and play baseball, you know. but then somewhere down that line i just -- i kind of gave up hope. i was a kid and looking for -- looking for companionship. looking for a place to fit in. the point of joining a gang was for the value of being connected with somebody. being accepted. being, you could say, loved. i was 17 years old. and i got in a gang fight with somebody, and i ended up stabbing them -- stabbing that person to death. and when i reflect back, when i was stabbing him, i wasn't stabbing jus...

Know, and play baseball, you know. but then somewhere down that line i just -- i kind of gave up hope. i was a kid and looking for -- looking for companionship. looking for a place to fit in. the point of joining a gang was for the value of being connected with somebody. being accepted. being, you could say, loved. i was 17 years old. and i got in a gang fight with somebody, and i ended up stabbing them -- stabbing that person to death. and when i reflect back, when i was stabbing him, i wasn't stabbing just him. but it was -- i was stabbing my -- everybody that i had anger against. i went bac...

Looking for companionship. looking for a place to fit in. the point of joining a gang was for the value of being connected with somebody. being accepted. being, you could say, loved. i was 17 years old. and i got in a gang fight with somebody, and i ended up stabbing them -- stabbing that person to death. and when i reflect back, when i was stabbing him, i wasn't stabbing just him. but it was -- i was stabbing my -- everybody that i had anger against. i went back to my buddy's house. and i just told him, man, i did something bad, you know. i did something bad. i was shaking. i didn't know what...

Looking for companionship. looking for a place to fit in. the point of joining a gang was for the value of being connected with somebody. being accepted. being, you could say, loved. i was 17 years old. and i got in a gang fight with somebody, and i ended up stabbing them -- stabbing that person to death. and when i reflect back, when i was stabbing him, i wasn't stabbing just him. but it was -- i was stabbing my -- everybody that i had anger against. i went back to my buddy's house. and i just told him, man, i did something bad, you know. i did something bad. i was shaking. i didn't know what...

Hope. i was a kid and looking for -- looking for companionship. looking for a place to fit in. the point of joining a gang was for the value of being connected with somebody. being accepted. being, you could say, loved. i was 17 years old. and i got in a gang fight with somebody, and i ended up stabbing them -- stabbing that person to death. and when i reflect back, when i was stabbing him, i wasn't stabbing just him. but it was -- i was stabbing my -- everybody that i had anger against. i went back to my buddy's house. and i just told him, man, i did something bad, you know. i did something b...