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Candid Corner: Caught in the act at work! Q: I have been in a relationship with my co-worker for a year now. Recently, the office security caught us sneaking out of the janitor room. He claims to have CCTV footage and is blackmailing us. I am not sure if I should call his bluff and take the risk of being fired or give in and pay up. What do I do? Ans: It is easy to blackmail someone who feels guilty and ashamed. Are you ashamed of being in a relationship with a co-worker or, of getting sexy in the janitor room? Being in a relationship with a co-worker is not a crime and it happens in most wor...

Candid Corner: Just say 'NO'! Facebook Q. My bf insists on 'exploring the backdoor' but I am petrified of it. In a previous relationship, I had an extremely painful experience and was unable to walk for days. I am afraid if I tell him about it, he will make an issue. And when I refuse, he keeps persisting. How do I make him understand? Ans: Sounds like you want to make your boyfriend feel very special and are afraid of letting him down. You don’t want him to be disappointed with you because of your past and your unmatched sexual preferences.

Candid Corner: Tackling sexual trauma Q. For many people Holi is a time for celebration. It was for me too a few years ago. But now I fear it. I was groped and molested in my neighbourhood and that fear has stayed with me. Even when my boyfriend hugs me from behind, I freak out. I have been trying to get over this but just can’t get it out of my system. Please help. Ans: Nobody deserves what happened to you. The impacts of sexual assault are extremely difficult to deal with and it will take some time to get them out of your system. You have them stored in your body as trauma. Be patient ...

Candid Corner: A daughter's dilemma Q: I am in my 20s and recently while cleaning my mom's wardrobe, I found a packet of condoms. My parents have been divorced for a while and Iam sure mom isn't seeing anyone. How do I bring this up with her? Ans: Being ashamed, or uncomfortable, of talking to your mom about condoms and sex is perfectly normal. We have all being socialised to think that sex is bad and dirty and that women, specially mothers, are ‘pure’ creatures void of sexual desires. These days they call it patriarchy, but for thousands of years this has been the norm. When you sp...