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A grieving widow, there is no script for that. you have to speak in a way they will understand and a way to help or at least try to soothe that grief. there is no script for it. you have to use your in tuition and try to make them feel better colonel general, the white house respects you. what is your advice to them? you have fox news going after the congresswoman saying she went against vets. we see where this is going. what is your advice on what he said or what he didn't say? >> any time you politicize this kind of thing, it is is not good. bad news gets worse with age. get the information ...

And a complete lee different way. we need to call them out, we need to say the word why in our headlines. you see the word debate and some of their headlines. trump has a different way of communicating, especially through twitter, that has china's challenged journalism. >> jon: a good discussion. thank you both. speak to a group of four-star generals with a grim warning about our military. it retired colonel general weighs in on all of this ahead.

Repeal the ban on gays serving openly in the united states military. but defense secretary robert gates says he needs several months to survey the troops and moving quickly is the wrong approach. stupid is his word for it. >> i've led several huge public institutions and i've led change in every one of them. and there's a smart way to do change and there's a stupid way to do change. this one has to be done smart. >> which brings us to today's most important person or in this case people you don't know. the throw person panel secretary gates appointed to sound out service members on the potenti...