Page 2 - Comedian Dan Soder News Today : Breaking News, Live Updates & Top Stories | Vimarsana

That's an old nebraska drawl. >> you are a high playing my friend. >> tom you said a 95-pound pig was living with a freshman. come on now. i understand first year students put on their weight. don't call them freshmen. first year students. tom, don't ever use the phrase rub off on the animals again. [laughing]. >> dan, this is one of those things people are gaming the system. people have ptsd has an animal. the majority of the pome that's not the case. >> if they are gaming the system you should get a prescription for the nightmare kitten. >> it is not that fault. it is the school's fault.

Praise of mcdonalds. he recalls his three months working at the home of the fast-food joint when he was a starving actor. when i needed mcdonalds mcdonalds was there for me when no one else was. he also cops to eating fries out of the hopper and says he would use different accents when working the drive through. the drive-thru. but salon could not let this stand calling it light airy and full of privileged [bleep]. and complaining that franco does not discuss the brutal working conditions of 25-hour shifts of wage theft and negligent employee and indirect policies. never change, salon. never c...

Be the god of alcohol. 14 shots? you walk in and do -- >> there was a lot we could have learned. will mars be as sexist as earth? >> a british science writer is worried it will be different than our world centuries ago. that is it will be dominated by white male conquerors. they generally presented a sexy walking vagina whose purpose is to give astronauts a place to dock therapy -- their penis. >> the first woman to be raped in space has probably already been born. dan, what is this? why is space so depressing? >> i seriously. if you have enough time to go

>> rubble, rubble. >> an exec said he has had time to grow up and has been busy raising a family in had -- in the suburbs and he has evolved over time. dan, your face says it all. how do you feel? >> that's so gross. >> isn't that awful? this is worse than finding out what they put in their chicken nuggets. this is so bad. why does the hamburglar look like he dj's pool parties? >> he is classing it up. he has a tie on. >> he is kind of a dope though. >> i couldn't agree with you less. he looks good. >> hamburglar, you are

>> that's how we communicated. >> you were always wonder yg there is a go bag in the closet. >> honey, get your going to grandma's jacket with your toothbrush in it. >> you noah lot about this, dan. >> a little accurate. >> what do you think about this? women like a challenge. >> i like it finally took science 4 billion years to decide women like being agreed with. of course they like doormats. it is like an employee. having a girl friend is like having a probation officer. >> that's a good point. that's how my marriage is. >> she said looks and money because that makes sense. hot women diffic...