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Investigation Launched Into Premature Release Of Turtle Through Windscreen Story
An investigation was launched into the premature release of this year's 'turtle through windscreen' story. The report was, as usual, scheduled to run during May.
The more famous but equally unverifiable turtle impact happened in 456 B.C., when the Greek playwright Aeschylus (author of The Persians, Seven Against Thebes, and Euripides Is a Big Fat Idiot) is said to have been killed by a turtle. The story is that the turtle was dropped on him by an eagle, which presumably was hoping to crack the turtle's shell open on a rock but mistakenly hit the playwright's bald head.