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I felt like my manhood was gone. i couldn't have any kind of a relationship with women. i couldn't really have any relationships with anybody. i was a mess. i drank and took drugs. i put myself in situations where i thought i might harm myself because i just didn't care. i thought about suicide all the time, so i'm really, really lucky to be here. my confidence is still crap, you know? i can't interview well. anytime i have interactions with people, i keep my hand in my pocket. this happened 8 years ago and i'm still embarrassed and, you know, because it's -- my life is totally different. >> w...

I felt useless. i felt like my manhood was gone. i couldn't have any kind of a relationship with women. i couldn't really have any relationships with anybody. i was a mess. i drank and took drugs. i put myself in situations where i thought i might harm myself because i just didn't care. i thought about suicide all the time, so i'm really, really lucky to be here. my confidence is still crap, you know? i can't interview well. anytime i have interactions with people, i keep my hand in my pocket. this happened 8 years ago and i'm still embarrassed and, you know, because it's -- my life is totally...

When i was in the hospital, my dad had to wipe my ass for me. i couldn't do anything by myself. i felt useless. i felt like my manhood was gone. i couldn't have any kind of a relationship with women. i couldn't really have any relationships with anybody. i was a mess. i drank and took drugs. i put myself in situations where i thought i might harm myself because i just didn't care. i thought about suicide all the time, so i'm really, really lucky to be here. my confidence is still crap, you know? i can't interview well. anytime i have interactions with people, i keep my hand in my pocket. this ...

I felt like my manhood was gone. i couldn't have any kind of a relationship with women. i couldn't really have any relationships with anybody. i was a mess. i drank and took drugs. i put myself in situations where i thought i might harm myself because i just didn't care. i thought about suicide all the time, so i'm really, really lucky to be here. my confidence is still crap, you know? i can't interview well. anytime i have interactions with people, i keep my hand in my pocket. this happened 8 years ago and i'm still embarrassed and, you know, because it's -- my life is totally different. >> w...