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Everything. >> someone might find it? >> yes. or you get too comfortable with that and you let down your guard. so the purge is something that probably every cross dresser and transgender and everybody else, it's like a reset point where i'm not doing this ever again and you're beating yourself up, i can't do this anymore. society has beaten us down so much for so many thousands of years. and i think it's the same similar with the lbgt community that it's always been such a suppressed and such a stigma attached to that, which doesn't always make any sense, it's in nature, it's so deep within y...

You buy a lot of stuff and you have these really cool shoes or really good stuff that makes you feel, you know, more closer to how you would like to feel, closer to that, you know, that spark, that spirit. and you feel good about yourself. but then you can't expose yourself or you can't take the chance that anybody else would ever see this or you can't let it be there too much because then you get too comfortable with it and it spills out. so you have to get rid of everything. >> someone might find it. >> yes. or you get too comfortable with that and you let down your guard. so the purge is so...

Guard. so the purge is something that probably every cross dresser and transgender and everybody else, it's like a reset point where okay, i'm not doing this ever again. >> you're also in this incredibly secretive community. you're in this incredibly masculine traditionally thought of as masculine military community, the navy s.e.a.l.s. so that's got to add a whole other layer to it. >> huge layer. it's kind of like that onion, the skin of the onion, peel take back and keep having as many layers of the onion as you can but deep down inside the middle of the onion is where my female persona was...

I would bring it home and wear it and then you have to purge because you couldn't have anything laying around so you hide a few things. you buy a lot of stuff and you have these really cool shoes or really good stuff that makes you feel, you know, more closer to how you would like to feel, closer to that, you know, that spark, that spirit. and you feel good about yourself. but then you can't expose yourself or you can't take the chance that anybody else would ever see this or you can't let it be there too much because then you get too comfortable with it and it spills out. so you have to get r...