And load, this is the nightly show [ cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central larry whoa. You can feel it tonight, man. What a great audience tonight. Thank you very much. I think it is so nice of you. I am so happy my name is larry because that chant worked. Welcome to the nightly show. I am larry wilmore. Man, we have got a lot to talk about tonight. Now, right now, planned parenthood is under attack, like meek mill on a drake diss track. All right . You know what i am saying . Here is the latest. A. On capitol hill the senate blocked a republican effort to shut off federal funds for planned parenthood. Larry another failed attempt to defund planned parenthood by the right . This is the eighth vote to defund them in eight years. Two more and they get a free breast exam taken away from a lowincome woman. A. Just let that one marinate for a little. All right. So what is the gops latest defunding excuse . A. The uproar was triggered by videos that showed planned parenthood staffers talking about selling fetal body parts and tissue donated by women who had abortions. Planned parenthood claims they were talking about reimbursements for tissue storage and transport. A. Okay. So they are being accused of selling body parts from abortion and they are claiming they are not, they are only being rea reimbursed for cs and the the center for medical progress, the most ironically named group since the isis center for womens literacy thank you says planned parenthood is profiting off of fetal tissue donation. All right. So lets watch the videos. What i want to know is, what would work for you . Dont low ball it. Tell me what you really a. Seventyfive dollars a specimen. A. Okay. Well that sounds bad, but what does planned parenthood say about this . Are they trying to make a profit . A. It is absolutely illegal to make any profit and we do not. Planned parenthood makes zero profit on any fetal tissue donations. Larry all right. Well, somebody is lying. All right . I will tell you what. I think i need to know what fetal tissue donation is used for. I mean, why would people buy baby body parts . I mean it must be something horrible, right . Like decorations or accessories, right . It has to be something, otherwise why would anybody go undercover to make a video about it unless it was for something bad . A. Using tissue specimen have been very helpful in research, alzheimers disease, hiv, other diseases. Nih funded 160 different projects that used competent tall tissue to Research Treatments from everything from hiv to glaucoma. Larry oh, that sounds like a good reason i think i know whos lying. A. Well, it seems like the fight over profiting is taking attention away from what these are actually used for. So context really does matter when it comes to planned parenthood videos. Just like context matters for that text you sent last night. A. All right. It matters, right . We have all been there. But i guess it. But its hard to defend planned parenthood because it requires context and nuance and a command of the facts. Something that is very hard to do when you are on fox news. A. But give ate try anyway, Juan Williams. A. If they had showed anything illegal a. The people who oppose juan, seriously somethings seriously wrong. A. You have to get a checkup or something. A. Thats why planned parenthoo tried to get these videos thrown out by a judge whos an obama butler by the way. A. Actually, juan cant even get a full sentence in. I mean, they are reacting emotionally to the video, which i understand, but they are losing the point. I mean, they are acting like Juan Williams is starting a sentence with i hate puppies but they wont let him finish, when they are not around. Let me finish, you guys. Let me finish a. Oh. Thats it. Thats why i am calling this planned parenthood attack for exactly what it is, it is a Pap Smear Campaign. It is. I am sorry but it is. That is exactly what it is. And in a Pap Smear Campaign people dont care about facts. These attacks dont seems to be revealing any inactivity, instead they are reveling in shaming women, their Health Practitioners and doctors its asthma nip latif, infur uh 88 and sadly predictable as the love triangle on orange is the new black. Now the defunding vote failed last night, but i want to know, how much government funding does planned parenthood get anyway. A. Planned parenthood received 528 million last year from the government. A. 528 million . Well how much of that is going to abortions. Like 527. A. I mean because thats what it seems like from what they are saying. So that 500 million goes to mammogram services, it goes to contraceptive services, it cannot go towards abortion. A. Oh, right, federal funds dont go to abortion, and abortions only comprise three percent of planned parenthoods health services. A. Now admittedly they do get funding from those three percent of services from the james p abortion i heart abortions alliance for a better abortion foundation. Which is on my bumper sticker. But the other 97 percent goes to Womens HealthServices Like contraception, std testing, and Cancer Screening, so i dont understand. Do these conservative groups a think womn will go in for a Cancer Screening and come out with an abortion . Thats like the boston bait and switch ever. It doesnt even make sense. Lets be honest about this. For many lowincome women, planned parent mood is one of the only resources to get health services, and even though this vote failed yesterday the attempt to get rid of sit only going to continue. I think the republican candidates can say it a little better. There is simply no justification anymore for federal funding of planned parenthood. A. Defund planned parenthood. I have been fighting to defund planned parenthood. A. I am not sure we need half a billion dollars for Womens Health issues. Larry you are right . A. We need more. Than half a million. Gosh. If you get rid of planned parenthood you will be stranding millions of women without healthcare. So where will these millions of women go. A. We will be fine, larry. Ho is that. Larry oh, its holly . A. Are you in a starbucks bathroom . Yep. A. There is where i am getting my pap now a nice homeless man said he would do it for a man difficult and half a banana whoa, whoa, holly, no, no. That is insane. You need to see a real doctor. Well, too late, captain after the procedure. Larry sorry. A. I didnt know larry is right you should have gotten yours done here. Oh. Oh, my god, it is robin. Are you in the subway . Subway . Yep . A. Clean green i like to call it. Larry there is nothing clean about that. I dont think you thought this through. Thinking has nothing to do with this larry. Defund planned parenthood and you take what you can get. Plus i am getting a pap smear practically every time i take the rush hour train. Larry and, robin, who would even personal this on the subway. Those guysbwo dance on the subway. It is show time larry robin. I dont think they are that talented. That doesnt make sense. Holly, robin you have it all wrong. Larry mike, wait, is that mike . What are you doing, mike . Larry . I am smearing with solidarity. Larry oh, my god. I am sorry, mike but that is not right at all. Defunding planned parenthood is not right. Larry thats true. Are you going to get a pap smear. If you take away Womens Health services you better be. Thats right, lady. Larry holly and robin, thank you, music im supposed to tell you how it feels when you book the perfect Family Vacation on hotels. Com. But i think hes kinda nailing it. music hotels. Com. They dont need me right now. Now that you have switched to what do you eat . Ast this is the bacon egg and cheese biscuit taco. Its warm and its fluffy. Im from the south and i know biscuits. My name is olivia. And i am a breakfast defector. [sfx bong] is soh, she better not be. Ld . Our claim runs straight down to the glutn free stuffin. Its gluten. Theres gold in them thar shells. Liquid gold. Back. Now. Guns are a very real problem in america and Practical Solutions are few and far between but yesterday, a first step was taken by the state of new york we had six threen people shot in new york because Law Enforcement officers thought the toy gun was a real gun. So today new York AttorneyEric Schneiderman reaching a landmark settlement with some of the countrys biggest retailers fining them for selling toy guns that look real and getting them to agree to stop selling them statewide. Larry okay. Here is, here is what i worry about. Santa. You know, you know that guy is carrying thousands of toy guns in his sleigh. Just a matter of time before Homeland Security overreacts. Larry i am just saying. Santa is not really gone, you guys. He is not really gone. All right. So what are we talking about exactly . So this is the kind of toy gun that meets current federal standards it has the little tip there. Right . And this is what companies would be able to sell in new york under this new agreement. You can see, of course if you black, the police will shoot you even if you holding a subway sandwich. So this really yes. Really only applies to the white kids. Now, guns are very complicated issue and i think it is important to talk to an spent, expert about this, so please welcome toy gun. [ cheers and applause ] larry so welcome to the show, toy gun. So what do you think about new york states new requirements that toy guns be brightly colored so as not to be confused with real guns. Bull bleep , larry. I mean look at me, i look like a clown. Larry well, i dont know, toy gun you look kind of fun to me. I think the bright colors look good on you, man. You really look like a toy. Do you want to look like a toy, larry . Kids used to play with me because i was dangerous and fierce. You know what i do now . I spit bubbles. Larry sorry to hear that but actually that sound kinds of fun. I love bubbles. You know what . Why dont you bleep yourself larry. Larry what does that mean . You are part of the problem. It is part of kids using their imagination playing with something dangerous. Where is the imagination in blowing bubbles, larry . Larry okay. Imagining what that bubble could be . I wish i could shoot you in the face right now, larry. Larry toy gun you know what, i cant, i cant because i am a punk ass bubble blowing fun toy. Larry you are very hostile. And no one is afraid of me. And nobody is going to get killed because you look real. Isnt that the point here . I guess. Thats another thing we can thank osama for, right . Whatever, larry i have to get out of here i am meeting with my prepared toy knife you know what he does now. Larry no what does he do now . He is barbies surf board. Larry of course he is. Does he blow bubbles too. Go to hell, larry. Larry toy gun, everybody. We will be right this is an iphone. And it comes with something amazing an app store with over one and a half million of the best apps available. Thats over one and a half million, handpicked, aweinspiring, justplainsurprising, whoknewaphonecoulddothat, apps. If its not an iphone, its not an iphone. Okay, what is this . Its chewy. Really icy. Wooh. Thats intense it just hits you. Its gum. No. Its totally a mint its disappearing as i am chewing it. Where did it go . Its not a gum. Not a mint. Its a totally new cool. New ice breakers cool blasts. I am rich. On the grounds of my estate, i hob nob with the glitterati and play equestrian sports. Out on the veranda, we enjoy finger sandwiches and other assorted dainties. I wear nothing less than the finest designer footwear. Wherever i go, the paparazzi capture my every move. Yes, i am rich. Thats why i drink the champagne of beers. A new sea chance to tryew look. Something different. This summer, challenge your preconceptions and experience a cadillac for yourself. The 2015 cadillac srx. Lease this from around 339 per month, or purchase with 0 apr financing. [ cheers and applause ] larry welcome back. The nightly show contributor mike yard. And you can see my next two hilarious guests from the usa comedy playing house, Second Season premiering tonight, Lennon Parham and jessica st. Clair. [ cheers and applause ] larry yes. Very well deserved. Now, i have to get your take on this thing. We are talking about ladys issues. The article in the new york times, we actually talked about this a few years agoing. Yeahing. We have this huge discussion. You hearing of bitchy resting face. Right. They say rbf, resting bitch face but i think that is improper because it is not like your bitch face is resting. It is that your resting face looks a littl a little bitchy. Yes and you two have it. Larry i have a judgmental resting face. What is the difference between judgmental and bitchcally is a fine line. Larry this is judgmental. Yeah. Larry you see. You feel judged. And there is bitchy. Larry there you go. See. What did you say to me . Larry now lets show some pictures of some stars they have. Yes. Okay. There are a few. Yes. Larry those supposedly are all bitchy resting facing. Mike ing. I dont know. This is the first we brought that up as the first time i have heard of it. I must have it too because i get the same comments that women get. I am looking so mad. Larry no, no. Brothers have angry resting faces. Yeah, everybody i dont think i look angry. I have been looking at my face a long time. I dont think i look angrying. I think you look very pleasant. There is an argument on the nightly show Facebook Page about how angry mike looks. See, now you look angry. Larry why are you so angry about this, mike . Why ar are yu so angry. What do you mean . I dont look angry. Do i look angry . Larry yes. You really look angry. [ cheers and applause ing. Look how happy i aming. And why is this thrown at women that they have to have a bitchy resting facing. This one deserves it because she looks cold as ice. That is where my power lives, though. If you know how i feel about you, then what do i have . You know what i mean . If you are worried that i like you or if you think maybe i hate your guts. Larry i am off balancing. Yeah, and i have the power. I have the power. Larry ing. Oh, bleep ing. I have heard that said. I am her best friend in the world. She doesnt always know how i feel about herring. I dont. And that is okaying. It is important how she feels about herself. I dont. I am like a rescue schnauzer, like an old like matted schnauzer you got at the pound and just want to be loved. Larry your resting face ing. Like this. Larry yeah. That is kind of crazing. And you need to work on the resting face. Larry i know. It gets thrown at hillary a lot because people try to describe that to her she has a bitchy resting face. But one thing about john kerrying. Lets show hillary. There you go. bleep . Ing. That is a bitchy resting face. Ing. But i heard that about kerrying. Yes. And joe biden. He has got the pearly whites. You know what i mean . He is always smiling. It works for me. Larry he has a goofy resting facing. What i think it is. I think the man larry there goes the man againing. To make him feel more comfortable around you. It is not about you. It is about how she feels. We dont know how to take it so it is like i need you to fix your face because i dont know what to do with it. Larry i think essentially secretly, men, if you disagree, you are lying because every guy wants to think there is at least a microchance they can have sex with any woman, right. Its trueing. Dont even say it is not true. It is absolutely they give you a bitchy resting face, it is like, man, that chance is gone. Thats what it is about. If there is a smile, well, maybe there is a chance. Even if it is queen elizabeth, it doesnt matter. Well, queen elizabeth. Ah. There is a royal chance there. You never know. 95 percent of the time, i dont want to have sex with you. Not you. Larry i understand. Not you. All day long, yeah, yeah. We know that. We took chemistry. Larry yeahing. Ing. Okay. So here is the thing. There is the thing about women in the workplace. This is very funny to me. Temperature. We talked about it on the today show. Why are women so bleep ing cold. I am sorry. Maybe because we are so tired having babies and wearing bikinissing. Yeah, yeah. Larry wait, wait. I have the nightly show blankie for you. Oh, thank you. No but there is a report that the temperature, especially in offices are geared toward the men. Since the temperatures are geared toward men and women are always cold. Listen i have three pairs of spanks on right now so i am about to pass out from heat exhaustion but on a normal kay i, normal day i am freezing. Larry not even cold, you are freezing. I am freezing. It is amazing. Lets show pictures of the staff. We have female members of our staff here. Here we go. There is another one. Another one. Now show one of our guys. Look at that. They are in the exact same office at the exact same time. Where is that office . I want to go thering. I have a hoody in my office. If it is cold, put a sweater on, i am sorrying. You are screaming. You are literally screaming at america. I need you to knowing. I am always up for a good fight but this is one i dont understand. Put a sweater on if i it is col. I am sorry. Larry do you think it is biology or do you think it is clothing. I think it is air conditioning. Larry air conditioning. That makes sensing. Larry air conditioning. Yeahing. How about this, guys, we get to control the remote and you get to control the thermostatting. I like that. I am with it. Sounds good. Larry we will figure this out. We will be right back. [ cheers and applause ] if you live in the new york city area or are planning to visit, grab some free tickets to attend an upcoming taping of the nightly show. The show tapes monday through thursday. For complete details go to the for complete details go to the night he did you leave behind something reliable . Something that felt like. Home . And now you cant connect the way you used to. Because you switched wireless carriers and cant get a reliable connection anymore. Its okay. Were still here for you and well be happy to have you back on a reliable network. Come home to verizon and get 10 gigs for 80 a month plus 15 per line. Only at verizon. Ask any lifeguard and shes gonna tell ya Colonel Sanders here. The best part of summertime is my five dollar fillup with Finger Lickin good sauce. Dip your chicken in it. Wait an hour. Dip yourself in the pool. Its Finger Lickin good. Is soh, she better not be. Ld . Our claim runs straight down to the glutn free stuffin. Its gluten. Theres gold in them thar shells. Liquid gold. Larry thats our show. I want to thank our panelists, mike yard, Lennon Parham and jessica st. Clair. Good nightly, everyone chris its 11 59 and 59 seconds. This happened on twitter today its president Barack Obamas birthday cheers and applause i mean, maybe, prove it. Nya laughter twitter celebrated by turning his profile into a regular party city. Look at all the balloons oh theres the birthday boy shown here holding a