And the Doctors Orders are clear. So. Its an infection of the joint bacteria also its in the tissue. Its become known for being someone who will follow his own plan but the doctor was adamant that i shouldnt do it. Its good so he said it was a very bad idea to walk 200 kilometers he said my body needed calm and relaxation. And. Brain hiness martins exgirlfriend he was planning to meet her on his walk but instead she has come to see him in cologne. She wanted to comfort and encourage him ahead of his speech. She knows what such a setback might do having had 1st hand experience of his depression. I think it was difficult for me was that he wasnt predictable. Oh its. The ups and downs because the ups and downs and highs and lows which change so fast. And then i would think. Ok hes again and now hes there that was the biggest challenge i that was that i was with only. A few days later martin is off to the netherlands by car the cast is gone but hes still not allowed to walk. His parents were on holiday 6 years ago when he called them and told them he was going to end his life. We felt powerless and sad and it was very difficult to understand little because martin also has a lot of humor and a joyful science out. Yeah. But he will do more. For all of the columns and i feel it was really difficult for us as parents. We had feelings of guilt if i think of on have you start wondering what you did grown what didnt you see its not easy to accept the science while last. Night the next day martin took a lethal mixture of sleeping tablets and painkillers. Me about in there i didnt care about point i just didnt want to have these feelings i couldnt bear the pain anymore. But something made me think that i shouldnt do it this cant be the solution whatever the problem is. To me so i went to the toilet and i threw up. But i was quite lucid from that point on. And i called the emergency services. Now martin knows how to deal with the ups and downs better. Bathing in ice cold water helps him when he undergoes a setback he tries to use it to find some force instead of sinking back into a black hole. Thats what he plans to talk about later today. Indicates the cold does me good so i wanted to make sure that i did it one more time before my speech so that all the energy all my thoughts came together instead of being dispersed audio mind to everything in symbiosis so that ill be able to go in as calm and collected as possible almost. Now that hes ready he and his friend and manager max go off together to the venue where the event is taking place. Theres a bit of fine tuning before he finally goes on stage. Hes nervous after weeks of preparing for the 18 minute long speech. My name is Martin Hellman and germany we need to talk. Rather swim under a sheet of ice climb into the ring or go climbing without a rope. Try to tell you a few more things that id rather do. But he doesnt its time to be serious. Thank. You but im smart and my name is martin helen and i suffer from heavy depression i always start suppressing myself my questions my emotions hiding everything that makes me mean its probably better just to function before i start looking for excitement to find a balance i think everything is a great idea alcohol drugs driving with my eyes closed for more and more time i put my health at risk sex fights destruction. Like 6 years ago when my depression was so bad that i didnt know what to do. So i tried to end my life as a vital. Obviousness of my life why didnt i talk theres a simple reason why i didnt talk people dont talk about mental problems i learned that early on at school or at the club at home always friends. But now im talking about im not going to stop talking. If youre only 3 or germany we have to talk then listen when. I forgot half of it. Im so proud of you. Of us how was it for you. Know i dont know yet. Im still completely overwhelmed by emotions feelings. It was great but i dont know what it was yet but i think ill figure it out in the next few hours the feelings. Here when really fast. There are many enthusiastic people waiting in the foyer for martin people who also suffer from depression or know people with depression martin has given them hope by speaking so openly. Hope that they too will find a way of dealing with depression. And with. Asterix the famous is celebrating his 60th birthday. With me with friendship. For the ride as his buddy. And a feisty young woman. Luxury behind the mirror humans are exploited and animals cruelly slaughtered. Big brands have committed to fair working conditions and sustainable production. But who is monitoring the some contractors. And investigative documentary goes to italy and china and looked