Power planes relationship and well reason is i know who wants people to express themselves. Know most of your Sexual Orientation. So we know that money can complicate things in a Partnership Like when love or sex i used as an exchange for money. Were talking here, of course about splunk says, black says or should the mommies and daddies. So we want to stick a closer look at the blessed a bless the culture, specifically in south africa. And some young women opened up to us about the experience. I felt wondering though this next report discusses dependency and relationships and sexual violence. When she started his studies 23 year old in the plunder tumble from the widow was struck by the expensive looks clothing and excessive shopping. Hestetler classmates enjoyed to friends with so cold, slay queens who depend on richmond to maintain the livestock. They introduced her to her own less than a wealthy married man who was more than 20 years senior to this c p where they give it as an excuse to the right procedure. But the gifts did not come to a free and tumble soon discovered that she need to perform sexual status. This is when she started having 2nd thoughts, you know, like doing what do you want . This is kind of just felt like i was the invited into, im sorry, says, but type of prostitution. But then now i have to now make do with whatever just comes by just because of the, the fact that you want to slice that you want. You want soft lice. Lavish know that various a soft pull to struggle to survive. And as society with money and how a concentrated in the hands of mid tempo is some man, even believe money gives him the right to control a womans freedom. 46 road modular villa kazi has 3 mistresses. He does not allow them to work, lead the house without his permission or are in a cell phone may not easily 10 to so we need to control that. They need to be in your fingertips as a re, uh like for for me i was the other night i went to school so that they can have money as a tentative power. I can control them. That is, behavior not entirely undermine his girlfriends. Right. To Self Determination seems a little concern to be the kazi, both he and his friend claim to pay that girlfriend around 400 years each cuz people mock long ago. This is pure business. I mean, thats the whole point. So let me know what we, what we do is we take care of women. Then they what, what do we get into the done his loved. Thats all. Thats all, nothing else. So your insights dont use the 6 um, being taken care of just someone making you feel special in a recent sound afternoon, health of a one in 10 young women reported to have had transactions that this is a massive problem that says also jackie, pulsing. We meet the also in an up market hotel angel. How does come up say as well known as the book which spills the beans on the blessing and bless. The culture promotes a experience with fluid borders between transactions and shes been traveling to this hotel. Yeah, i remember that as a young girl, she ran away from a violent time and became involved with a very wealthy man, a few months into that relationship. He took the on a private jewels with politicians, businessman and mistresses, being trapped in the middle of the ocean. She had no choice but to enjoy being raped multiple times. It can be changed. It like this. In a hot, if administer wants to buy you build value regardless of the thing in the group. So even if youre dating the wall, is that in the group taken change, you also have business deals because administer often traumatizing. Yes. Im not saying managed to escape the garage, so the chief little girl, i wish to merge the book, not her experience is a warning that the world of glamour that we see on our phones and internet platforms is sometimes fun from the actual social media gives us an invasion of to fix it, comforts that to be expected and people will that solutions and you dont even know that just to get a headset district in front of us. What are the many other things you have to do . Just for the one in the back in so little because he meets his girlfriend on the legs. He wants to buy her a new hand back, which is nice, but somebody is not early enough for the luxuries she has a baby and needs the money to buy the basic necessities to pay rent at. Shes well aware of the dependency she fine so. So its said that as young calls have to sleep with all the guys and pretend is this the old you okay with everything just because of course i dont hear chances of subs that you dont the 0 percentages of getting a to do anything and everything to good, tell you what it says sits in time with a post credit economy in charges and then the Unemployment Rate of the 60 percent. The outlook for these young women is bleak. Being blessed becomes a basic way of survival and the female body and objects that can be both and thought it. But of course not all relationships. So this complicated and well money often plays a role. Its all fine about simpler things like who gets to pay for the bill and the dates. So we wanted to know what your experience as well and for this we went to millennium fox. You know, well just switch views and it comes to going no big deal. Some guys the, the scene just get on the fish like so much to the wall. Yeah. Yeah. Look, well yeah, so youre not able to provide for the game. I didnt even times way you want to have going to pick the most expensive place and it was good to. And then by time youre going to anything like this one is of rise on that. I guess. How much does it give me good. I mean, youre calculating your, you know, you back home because it obviously can afford the newest you to waynesville to someone and i couldnt finish the food and it was like, you must finish. It tells me, can this. All right, its like almost finished. You really nice ones because a red flag like how will you tell me, i must finish conclude because hes waiting for more than bang of i and i have no idea how it would behave if somebody forced me to finish my fluid because they were paying for the bill, but you know what day thing aside, we also wanted to find out what attracts people to each other and what makes relationships work. So heres what you said. One thing that draws in sonya is i know deficient like right. I need to respect i so i so the, the issue is brianca. Its going to model. And basically i was just a job to get things disconnected. I guess it doesnt make a difference of my life. She was always there for me just of what the need the time that ive never had such support every my life. Hes on this, let me just see on next to me and run it by his role. He do apologize. That the most amazing part of its really interesting to me. She was always a good sort of, i mean for doing this, youre about me, youre about me and you just, youre, youre about money runaways. And when he asked me what that was like for that kind of that, why didnt you that man there are a 1000000 different ways to love. And who you choose to love should really only be a method for you and your partner, much in life. This isnt always the case, your family friend, society and Even National laws. Can you tell me where you kind of cant have an intimate relationship with, as well as, who are you kind of identify as im talking about the l g, b, 6, you plus community. We still faces discrimination as well as defamation, and attack by both states and society all around africa. So lets start off by unpacking gender identity and Sexual Orientation and what the less essential we s o sits and relationship experts cause its a breaking down for us. Hello there and welcome to the spread a safe space where we get to discuss everything, sex and relationships. Today we have a question on gender and sexual diversity. The question reads take as, as a pass, im trying to be a better l g b t q plus ally. Im finding it hard to understand all the new language around agenda, sexuality and 6. Is there a way you can simplify it for me . So i can better understand how to conduct myself in spaces where i meet diverse groups. Id really appreciate it. Thanks. Lets start by creating 3 boxes, biological or assigned sex, gender, and Sexual Orientation. Each of these boxes has many sub sections but will focus on the most important points. The 1st box, biological sex, is what the doctor use is to identify you at best. Based on your genet tatum. Yeah. Most of the time its either male or female, but there are also cases where one is born with both male and female genitalia, that person is known as into 6. The 2nd box is agenda. Gender is a social construct. Its what society throws that you to place you in a binary box of either male or female. For example, dolls and the color pink are set to belong to only girls. Where is trucks and the color blue are set to belong to only boys, but not everybody conforms to this agenda. Binary gender identity comes from your in a sense of self and may not align with the sex that you are assigned at best. You could be male, female, both neither or some other agenda. And this could mean for example, that youre not comfortable with the pronouns he or she and would rather be referred to as they or them. For example, sad box is Sexual Orientation. This has to do with the attraction that you have to a person based on their agenda, which can be romantic, emotional, or physical men. And women strictly attracted to the opposite agenda, a known as heterosexual. If youre attracted to someone of the same gender, you could be homeless actual, if youre attracted to someone regardless of their sex or gender identity, you could be pansexual. Keep in mind that this really is just the tip of the iceberg. This so much more to learn about the l g b t q plus community. I hope this has been helpful and i do urge you to keep doing your research online. Well informed allies like you are very important. Thats it for me, jazz till next time. Good bye. Thank you. Okay, and if youre interested in learning more about special minorities or just indicating yourself about sex on the body in general, you can have to Instagram Page where we have a series this has on just that. Now hearing kenya between 2 people of the same gender as to punishable by law. This law has been in place is nice you sexy and results in sexual minorities being harassed and left with virtually no protection from police of the states. In january 2023, a young can impression design the l g b to you activist. And when she logo was to walk you widespread, created the community, we spoke to some people who are still willing to speak up can yes, L G B T Q Community is on a lot in january 2023 and went to law about a student Fashion Designer and gay rights activist was killed in the canyon town of old darn it. Is project death since shockwave through the community Makeup Artist dentist and gary felt the impact when, when the news fussed, can you know like i was not sure whats happened, edwin and i was like, i really hope its not about how he had things favor themselves as of late theres been a lot of hits um ive been receiving a lot of hips and a lot of competitors on edwin. Everybodys telling me, you know, if you dont take care, youll end up like, and we, the dentist was always aware that his Sexual Orientation was not accepted by society. But the online debates about edwins death has to be generated into an empty l. G, b, t q plus campaign. Right . Now they, at the most phase came that changed the final try of the safety of the sexually t of the a central orientation. Im going to, i walk please. You can simply leaving the house can be a problem. Then not safe to go outside. Youre not sure why that shouldnt be safe unless you have security to batch the environment and they and the solution, right . And now inside of beats, run grab was intense or, and it will take some time before it gets back to a conflict. So if the government came in the lives of hips to add my notary to groups, i feel like thats i, i, we feel protected homosexuality. Split a boot and canyon society. But in the life of edwins death, the l. G, b, t q plus community and the allies, a once again calling for acceptance and the criminalization phase and lots of homophobia. These um, lots of hate sweats, people who was only hating because they exist at you know, they exist. Thats it. Um i leave, im leaving, im jason. So in most parts of africa, the laws are very similar to those hearing, kenya, in a very a, for example, one can get up to 14 years in prison, mental being game. And in some parts of the country which are ruled by fleming. Serial punishments even was nevertheless, there are few brief people who are standing up for themselves. We meet one of them, the legal space, fashion design, daniel k, who is calling for more respect and acceptance. In conservative nigeria, sam, 6 relationships khattab who is the whole stay well for the l g b t q, Class Community but like ocean, tina john daniel k has an idea to make it a little friendly with you and to see if question brand concave apparel. Very much and sophistic about so in this coming is one of the reasons i hit the scenario as im done. Were going through so i hit one disrespect. So discrimination on 3 or press one. So green up. I always been like bullied on all of that. So i go through with the one i found out about the 2 years. Ive always been a 1st time a of this because on myself, despite the odds i think is brand has been welcomed, especially in the l g. B t q plus community. Bold inscriptions like fem isnt weakness. Gender is fluid and we can be seen of happening hung out around legal i think its quite a new way to and inclusive brand. Ive always had a hard time finding. The old stuff fits my agenda expression for like with this bronze. Its always because i always find where i want this time of one my brand outs and it will suit them be like like good. How do you maintain those students . Stuff on them like this, then theres a special construct in minnesota. Its just flipped. Anybody to kind of like, i mean, this isnt way if, if anything is going for the or the one body and the thoughts they need, like switch Something Else sees upright. Hes very, very clean from someone elses age. Taking these calls course is really kind of society where we even always fun or things like this. Done, you runs an online store from hes home. He reveals designs on his Instagram Page. Clients can also request designs done. You know them gets across the country is to realize the outward before supervising the ceiling and branding, experiencing hostility is part of the job, the vision, say by the offensive. I think it will just come on. And so my business page and just be like steve, whats up, why are you doing this . Is beverly, is this again, scottsville on whats on, whats not on whatsoever. The thing people dont understand is my brand is not out for the, for those particular presence. And i brand before it 4010 for his friends and customers were having his clothes in steals a sense of pride. 5 was that also includes my son to ask what . While youre doing Something Like this, what does this mean . Does it is no right . But then i want to spend is qualified. So most of the time i see the need to keep them what things mean people find descriptions for the k to, but i really do not care. This is me on the line with a message. And while people like daniel a fighting for more except as a society, many people have their own relationship bathrooms to fights, big or small, like cooling, get you. There are kind of like julian, couple living right. Can they, ruby . And while they knew they wanted to put together their families and friends, well, they took a bit of convincing. Nairobi is east of protest, melton port of trust in residents from across the continent and beyond. But a king and capitals acceptance of diversity. Thats not always extent to motus, of the heart needs was very difficult when my wife go to places and in georgia is amazing. And jared was like, well, they used to be a very which stereotype buying k n c o, youve come to can to steal our room on from aust kula and get to this Cross Cultural relationship. Maybe unusual. But like many young people to love, how familiar applicants we manage what else could to i think yeah, ill send it to you is how is this fresh from school . Hes sweet. Talk to me and you know how we started d t and talking and yeah, i like to provide p like by vibe. He actually up front. He told me youre going to be the motto. Light came from a best friends and family. The new couple was bought in love, connection was difficult to accept. I was now telling my friend to know these, that dating, you know, you know, telling a lot of people and then you know, come often to, yeah, i met this guy, weve been seeing each other and im that shes a jane and really was sure they did what do you know about him while do you know, as bob garfield review today, comments like these with phone investigators get to somebody have long since accepted the west african as a member of the firm. But i wasnt always the case when he told me like that i didnt know delete receipt was included lazy. I say its, i dont 13, anything about the i want you to see for us when she told me that jerry and i was like, what do they do and doing, can i know african go to america or you. So that was for me and mind blowing. Another thing that to had was hes mostly okay. And mostly says christian. So what i say is going to cause of, i know my sis, i really loved being so im like hey we to become listening. Eventually the couple chose to put aside that may see us, but yet the else behind them, the path for ahead to us the said life that blend the best of the different backgrounds included in the kitchen. At the beginning is to cook a lot for sunday when like im visiting please use to really see like cocaine, you know, i guess best the, the time he was trying to me it is like really quick for you. My way, he told me, you know, to make this deals visual of the fried rice over time. Ive come to enjoy most of the guarantees. If im a guy, the from multi mall from the low, from, from my to get everything wherever you going from is that theres a video background, youll cultural, youll edge, what do i tease your type . Its, its possible he lets me be me and i let him be. She is walks for me perfectly. And we were just happy with when any of the end of the show. But we have one more issue to talk about so that i can break because liked it or not, thats how some relationship spends. It may be most, i mean i can be alone in this. Surely you must have some experiences of your own. So lets hear them. But it may not be shown these items i may have will not be happy. I think im the one actually ended up. Im not interested in the you given me. Yeah. And they did this a lot of us. So you just mean you just have you read like i basically read it. There was a budget thing this with this thing. It says that a lot of the spots black the i will never forget because uh i invited him on uh which i wait for that particular piece which is for how for like a long as i shop more than enough. So i felt very, very glad to do that. I believe i always never forget, i get all my trust able to take any for granted advantage of my head. Because yes, i mean football. Like if i go to the beach all perform well, like my guys have level it was wrong with you. That way you way, you know for custody, it was wrong or deep dive it out. Well, yeah, im fine to me actually im on do my best. I didnt know i wasnt doing the writing on the beach. I get my bride, end of the i ended up lose insights. I didnt get a lot by giving you phone like my trust was taking for granted. So i just have to like exclude myself, other relationships, them without our body to us. So since then i one not to keep in relationship 100 percent. Again, opposite extremely gave me an order for me notes like for the big thing for the stick on finding it, but out of high speed. And that brings us to the end of the show this week. If you have story is to share with us connected, also, social media, you can also write to us. So e mail is 7. 00 to 7. 00, the dw calls and subscribe to our youtube channel. We have, you know, with, you know, the do by now, a big too good. Thanks for watching the bills for the 1st one back into the conflict. So with tim, sebastian, the minnesota policy name group from smashed uses days ralph skimming hundreds of triggering war and the former Prime Minister who was almost blamed. Should the yahoo resign . Yes. Do you think you will conflict in 30 minutes . D. W. But you will tell here we are happy that we are boxing the story. We have a getting a visa is more difficult than finding gold hosted to you. I am forcing. Yeah. And for the future in the stories and issues that are being discussed across the country. News africa in 90 minutes on the w, the one of the main kinds, oldest ambitions could be within re what do you see . It really is possible to reverse the researchers and scientists all over the world for you know, race against time. They are peers and rivals with one daring goals to help smart nature. The more likes watching it on youtube Dw Documentary limited freedom of the online young north koreans fled to south korea when they realized they dreams of the coming social media. To detect is we close it up in lives under kim john, but then they disappeared without warning. Need to reach to us as a north korean propaganda video was happens from north korea, which love starts october 25th on d w. The. This is dw news live from berlin. Israel cast people in gas have more time to heat its evacuation orders before it is expected ground defensive. It says they have safe passage on 2 main roads to flee to the south of the territory. Over a 1000000 people have been told to relocate a situation the un has described as impossible and on a visit to saudi arabia. Newest secretary of state pads, a blinking cause for civilians in israel and guys to be protected