Myself called lopez tonight. Its been a few years, but they say hosting late night is like riding a bike. We do it because weve had too many duis. Were going to have a lot of fun here tonight. Well, i know im going to have a lot of fun. For all i know you saw my hair and changed the channel 10 seconds ago. This hair is something new for me. I decided 59 was the perfect age to start looking like a West Hollywood brunch waiter. I went to my barber and said i want to look like a cross between danny trejo and justin bieber. Brown skin and blond hair. This is what we in the Latinx Community call hedging our bets. People keep saying i remind them of someone, and i finally figured it out. Im a cross between walter marcado, and a troll doll. Just so you know, i didnt actually dye my hair. I just got scared, because the postmates guy showed up without a mask. Mayor garcetti just said that los angeles may face another stayathome order. A second lockdown. Here in la, were just calling it a reboot. Fuller house. If youre like me and you didnt bother to get in shape for beach season, congratulations you are a winner you know, its not fair that rich people get to quarantine in huge mansions and poor people have to do it in tiny little apartments. I feel like this is the second time, we should switch it up, right . Oh, you were in a bel air estate the first time . This time . A studio in compton. Pack your bags, trevor hey i want to say hello to my virtual amigo. The only mexican to ever marry a karen. Guillermo guillermo hi, everybody hey, george, you look like fabio. Thanks. How are you doing. Guillermo im doing great. What kind of suit do you have on . Back up, lets have a look at it. What the back up a little more, guillermo, are you in your underwear . Guillermo no, im wearing sho shorts. Ng eating, making sweet love to my wife. Okay, thats enough. Im going to call i. C. E. Next time you want to make sweet love, dont be surprised. All right, guillermo, gracias. This is crazy. The Immigration Agency ice, or as i call it, vanilla ice, is launching a sixweek Citizens Academy where they will teach ordinary people about how they arrest undocumented immigrants. This is a real thing. Its happening this september in chicago. It may be the only school open this fall. A spokesman for ice said the goal is to build cages with the community. I mean bridges. The goal is to build bridges with the community. The way things are, if i was in a cage i might say, you know what im good here. To pass the final exam, you have to run into an olive garden kitchen and yell come out with your hands up why are americans so obsessed with deporting immigrants, when there are far worse homegrown usaholes that need to go. For instance, instead of kicking out a mother of four who volunteers at a food bank, why not deport this maniac who threw a fit at a grocery store, because they asked her to wear a mask . [ bleep ] [ bleep ], [ bleep ] i doesnnt give a [ bleep ]. [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. And they say all the good ones are taken. Cleanup in aisle 1. 2. 4. 7 maybe she was just trying to make it into the 10 items or less line . Instead of deporting a dentist from guatemala who has been part of his community for two decades, lets deport these jackasses painting over a black lives matter mural. [ bleep ]. Whats up . Im right here. [ bleep ]. I give them a lot of credit. A lot of honkeys would have hired a mexican to do the painting. We should deport them, but we should send them straight to africa. Good luck guys. Instead of ousting a 24yearold medical student who has been here since she was 2, why not get rid of costco kenny. Youre harassing me. Im not harassing you. I feel threatened. I feel threatened, back off back the [ bleep ] up, put your [ bleep ] phone down yes, sir. I did not know they sold big boxes of steroids at costco. I guess the meditation hasnt kicked in yet. And finally, instead of deporting a church pastor, lets get rid of this shameless psychopath, who sat there hawking beans in the middle of a pandemic. The president posted a photo to instagram, smiling with goya products on the resolute desk. If only goya made selftanner and adderall. Hey donald. Ask jared to google cabron. It means really great president. Speaking of trump after threemonths, he is back doing his daily coronavirus briefings. Thank god. I was wondering which household cleaner to drink next. Whats the point of these briefings . Every word out of his mouth is a lie. Even calling it a briefing is a lie. Its not brief. The guy talks for two hours. From now on lets call it what it is, a [ bleep ] storm. The president appeared at his daily shit storm today. Would Somebody Just explain to this goofball that the sooner he takes the virus seriously, the sooner he can get back to doing standup at monster truck rallies . But i would like to congratulate the president on a milestone. Last week marked the 275th time he visited a golf club since becoming president. Its a wonder he has any time left to destroy the country. And last week, when people called him out on it, he tweeted that golf is his exercise. Clearly its working. Just look at that adonis. Listen, i love golf. I play all the time. I love it. But golf counts as exercise the same way fox counts as news. And trumps exercise has cost taxpayers 137 Million Dollars. Cant we just buy that lard ass a peloton . Since were paying for it, i want to analyze the president s 137 Million Dollar swing. Lets take a look. So smooth and graceful, like a gazelle that was just shot by don jr. Its not surprising that trump has horrible follow through in each swing he swings like a lumberjack who missed the tree. Lets see that again. Freeze it there. Now zoom in. Look at his pants. Why are his pants so high . That belt is working much harder than it needs to be. Does he think that hiking up his pants makes everything below his waist invisible . From what i hear its invisible even without pants. Lets see a different angle. I see some good things here. Look at his core. Cards where any great golfer ts look at those childbearing hips. It looks like his water could break right in the middle of his swing. When he yells fore, hes giving his donut order. Now lets break down his grip, crucial to any golfers game. Now zoom in. As you can see, its a very unconventional grip. The way he interlaces his fingers. He has such soft, supple hands. He swings. Inthball. K out, anhihe well done, mr. President. And off goes his caddy to find the ball in the woods. He has a special talent for finding trumps balls. All right, when we come back, mr. Willie nelson. Dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by command. [baby giggles] vo command strips remove cleanly so you can make your space your own. Command. Do. No harm. Join tscore savings andet pdeals in store and online. E. Plus, help target support your community. Enjoy exclusives just for you, at no cost to you. Join target circle for free today. Use yogurt or milk to soothe your skin or you could use schick hydro silk with hypoallergenic serum for the smooth shave we all deserve. Schick hydro silk proof i can fight moderate to severe rheumatoid arthritis. Proof i can fight psoriatic arthritis. With humira. Proof of less joint pain. And clearer skin in psa. Humira targets and blocks a source of inflammation that contributes to joint pain and irreversible damage. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections. Serious and sometimes fatal infections, including tuberculosis, and cancers, including lymphoma, and new or worsening heart failure. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Humira is proven to help stop further joint damage. Want more proof . Ask your rheumatologist about humira citratefree. If you cant afford your medicine, abbvie may be able to help. That could mean education for our little man and a closer bus stop for her. Shape your future. Start here. Complete the census at 2020census. Gov. Shape your future. Start here. Your bank can be virtually any place you are. You casichec f can eyour traactionstually any place you are. And check your balance from here. And pay bills from here. Because your bank isnt just one place. Its virtually any place you are. Just download and use the chase mobile app. Visit chase. Com mobile. Welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live, im guillermos step father, george lopez. Tomorrow night, i wont be here, but sean hayes will be hosting with his guest jason bateman, and the Jimmy Kimmel Live healthcare hero of the week. Our guest tonight truly needs no introduction, but im going to give him one, just so he knows we are actually on tv right now. He is a genuine legend of both Country Music and cannabis, with a new album, called first rose of spring, available now. Please welcome the one and only Willie Nelson. Thank you, thank you. How you doin . Im good brother. Im going to ask a question. I know you have a place in maui. Do you prefer the surf and turf . Do you prefer the surf of maui to live or the turf of austin to live . Where do you feel more comfortable . Ive been kind of spoiled. I can take the best of both worlds now. I would love to go to maui now, but with all the bs going on around the world, its hard to get there, and then you got to quarantine a while and all that. So i love moaui, but im in a pretty good spot. Is it shocking to you to see how well marijuana is being received . No, i always knew that would realize its benefits. And now that its in 30 states medicinally its legal. And a lot of reseg its on is a good thing. You know, theres so many benefits of cannabis, you know, health, appetite, anxiety, forgetting things, but medically, its a good thing, isnt it . Its a good thing to forget things, i think. [ laughter ] hey, do you remember the first joint that you ever smoked . You know, i have been smokin something all my life. I started out smokin when i was just a kid, grape vines. Cedar bark. And then i got to bull durham and, so all along i was smoking something. And then i got to where i realized that my lungs were cavin in, so i had to quit something. So i wasnt getting high on chesterfields, so i threw them away and rolled up 20 big fat joints, stuck it in my pockets and i havent had a cigarette since. My man, thank you. I know in december that, i saw it on a scroll, but people tripped out because i think you said you were going to quit smoking marijuana, and the whole world went upside down, right . I read that somewhere. And i had a nice laugh about it. Yeah, because once snoop has anointed you, because i think you outsmoke snoop. Hes tough. Thats like the pope telling you youre a good catholic. So i had the honor of meeting, i know he was a good friend of yours, merle haggard. Yes, he really was. And he invited me into his bus, and when i walked in, there was a wonderful smell of marijuana, and i went over, and i talked to him. I had some relatives out there. Assed around a bottle of George Dickle. Im there smoking and drinking George Dickle from the bottle. In about an hour and a half he says to his wife, how was the show, honey, and she says, merle, we havent done the show yet. Yeah, i love my question is, can you be too high, willie . Can someone be too high . Yeah, sure, you can be too drunk, you can be too high. Sure, ive been too high before and you realize it pretty quick. So merle walked on stage with the cowboy hat and the glasses, didnt miss a beat, which was amazing. But have you been on stage and not known where you were . Yeah, i have smoked too much before a show, and i dont remember the town, but i do remember that i wasnt able to do a show. I walked out there and said sorry, and went back to the bus. And i came back about a month later, and i think i remember being here before. So you stayed in that bus a month and then you came back out . No, you didnt. Well, i had other dates to play. So this is your 70th congratulations. Thank you. What do you like about this music . What will we like about this album, willie . This is my 15th album with buddy canon as my producer. He and i work so well together writing and recording, and i think this particular album has a lot of good songs on it. The title song first rose of spring is a great song. And in fact all the songs on there are good. Yesterday when i was young closes out the album, and thats always been a nice standard. When were you growing up, who was musical in your family . Well, my sister, bobbie and i, she was a great, is a great piano player, and weve been playing Music Together all our lives, and she taught me a lot. She could read music early. And i would sit on a piano stool next to her, and while she was playing songs like stardust and moonlight in vermont, i was learning them as she was playing them. It must be special that youve done some work with your sons, like the song youre going to perform with your kids. Ive got some talented kids. I appreciate that. Do they all play the guitar . Or piano . How many instruments do you play . Well, i, you know, play at the guitar, but thats about it. But no, luke and mica can play piano, they play pretty good piano, drums and practically anything here in my living room here. I got all kind of instruments, guitars and pianos, so they were around Musical Instruments all their lives, and i didnt push them. I just kind of let them drift into it as they wanted to and theyve really done well. You have one of those unmistakable sounds that from the minute the guitar chord is struck Everybody Knows its you. Well, thats trigger. Baby yeah. I love you, willie, thank you, man. Thanks for being my guest. My pleasure, good to talk to you. When we come back, music from Willie Nelson. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by mercedes benz, the best or nothing. If youre 55 and up, t mobile has a plan built just for you. We want you to get the value and service you need to stay connected. Saving 50 vs. Other carriers with 2 unlimited lines for less than 30 each. We know that connection is more important than ever. And were here to help, when youre ready to switch. Call 1800tmobile or go to t mobile. Com 55. vo jack was one of six million pein need of a home. Ers he found it in a boy with special needs, who also needed him. As part of our love promise, subaru and our retailers host adoption events and have donated 28 Million Dollars to support local animal shelters. Were proud to have helped over 230,000 pets so far. Changing the lives of dogs like jack, and the families who adopt them. Subaru. More than a car company. Hi. Whats on your mind . In. Can you help keep these guys protected online . Easy. Connect to the xfi gateway. What about wireless data options for the family . You can customize and save. What about internet speeds that can keep up with my gaming . Lets hook you up with the Fastest Internet from xfinity. And now with our stores reopening, were putting Healthy Practices in place. Come visit a store today. Stop in or book an appointment online at a time that works for you. Now thats simple, easy, awesome. Ask. Shop. Discover at your local xfinity store today. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by mercedes benz, the best or nothing. Welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live. Im george lopez. His new album is called first rose of spring. Here with a song he wrote back in 1964 joined by his sons micah and lukas, the great Willie Nelson. The skys never blue stars are rain drop searchin for a place to fall i never i know you wont believe these things i tell you i know you wont believe your heart has been forewarned all men will lie to you mine cannot deceive what i say to i prepared these statements for the baby to disbelieve and the sky was never blue the stars are raindrops searching for a place to fall and i never cared for you the sun is filled with ice and gives no warmth at all and the sky was never blue the stars are raindrops searching for a place to fall and i never cared for you and i never cared for you i never cared for you hey, can i. Hold on one second. Sure. Okay. Okay safe drivers save 40 guys guys check it out. Safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him hes here. Hes right here. Hi hi. Hey thats totally him. Its him thats totally the guy. Safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. However you go back, weve got your back. However you go back, weve got your back. Tomorrow can only be better with wendys breakfast. Win with a breakfast baconator, honey butter chicken biscuit, sausage egg and swiss croissant, or a maple bacon chicken croissant free with mobile order purchase. Tomorrows lookin good hey guys want to stack different pringles flavors to create new flavor combos . Here ill. Go first. Pizza, barbeque and jalapeno. The spicy barbecue pizza stack. Get him grandpa whats going on . Were trapped in a pringles commercial, they must have taken us in our sleep. Stack pringles flavors make new ones. Dicky and now, cisco presents, where is russ hiding where is russ hiding this im behind the loveseat dicky and thats where russ was hiding. Thats all the time we have. Id like to thank Willie Nelson and my compadre, jimmy kimmel. Sean hayes will be here tomorrow night with guest jason bateman. Nightline is next. Goodnight, gringos. This is nightline. Tonight, essential and exposed to covid19, undocumented, uninsured and under pressure to keep america going, from keeping our roads safe to cleaning our homes. Why latino workers are some of the most vulnerable, weighing risk of infection against the risk of losing it all. Plus, the tik tok movement. The platform known for challenges like the blinding lights challenge now home to activism. Were sick of it. How young voices are calling for change in just 15 seconds. Freedom isnt always free, but it will come to those who fight for it. And you know well fight f