And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 797. Steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] jimmy come on. Thats what you want right there. That is a hot crowd right there. Thats what you want. Welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it. Youre here. [ cheers and applause ] im so happy youre here. I want to wish everyone a happy 2018. Happy new year. [ cheers ] a lot of people are making new years resolutions. Some people are losing weight, while the president s losing his mind. [ laughter and applause ] you must have heard about this, after his Mental Health was questioned in a new book, President Trump went on twitter and said that hes a very stable genius. [ laughter ] trump said it was an accident. He was trying to edit his okcupid bio. [ laughter and applause ] thats right. Trump tweeted that hes a a genius, and he said, in fact, thats what the j in donald j. Trump stands for. Donald jenius trump. [ laughter and applause ] this was all started by this new book about the white house called fire and fury. At first, trump didnt care because he thought fire and fury was just a new flavor of doritos. [ laughter ] i love it. A lot of weird stuff in there. For instance, it says that trump insists on stripping his own sheets. [ laughter ] he said one maid did such a bad job making his bed, you could barely tell it was a racecar. [ applause ] good night. Tuck me in. Well, this wasnt any huge surprise. This book says that donald and melania have separate bedrooms. Yep, trump sleeps in the white house master bedroom, while melania sleeps in new york city. [ laughter and applause ] steve heyoh jimmy yesterday, trump aide Stephen Miller went on cnn to defend the president. Everyones talking about how jake tapper cut him off. But i noticed he had a very interesting way of saying the word, dynasty. Check this out. The reality is that the president is a political genius who took down the bush dynasty, who took down the clinton dynasty. [ laughter ] jimmy my favorite show is duck dinasty. [ laughter ] somewhere trump was like, what an idiot. [ laughter and applause ] over the weekend, eric trump celebrated his 34th birthday at a mexican restaurant, and he and don jr. Wore sombreros. Which backfired when their dad had them deported. [ laughter and applause ] you just hate steve you never know, yeah. Just one mistake. Jimmy hey, the Golden Globes were last night and seth meyers did a great job hosting, didnt he . [ cheers and applause ] he was very funny. But everybodys talking about the big speech oprah made. And a lot of people are saying that maybe she should run for president. [ cheers and applause ] itll be weird at her state of the union when Congress Keeps checking under their seats for a free car. [ laughter ] you get a car, and you get a a car, and you get a car [ cheers and applause ] but this could be a big story. In fact, two of oprahs Close Friends said that shes thinking about running in 2020. While two of trumps Close Friends said, please dont refer to us as trumps Close Friends. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, you guys, this is going viral. The u. S. Figure skating championships were last week and jimmy ma chose a pretty interesting song for his performance. Watch this. Fire up that loud another round of shots turn down for what [ cheers and applause ] turn down for what okay. I like it. Turn down for what. Was he talking about shots . [ laughter ] jimmy so if you want to know who the bad boy of figure skating is [ light laughter ] its still not that guy, yeah. [ laughter and applause ] even Tonya Harding was like, come on, show some respect for the sport. We have a great show for tonight. Give it up for the roots, everybody [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yes. The roots right there, ladies and gentlemen guys, it is monday. Were so excited to be back. We have a huge week of shows ahead. Hugh grant will be here, greta gerwig, saoirse ronan, sam rockwell will be joining us. Steve wow. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy plus performances from a ap ferg and camila cabello. [ cheers and applause ] but first we have a great show. We love this woman. The star of the new movie, proud mary, taraji p. Henson is here. [ cheers and applause ] she is fantastic. Great movie. Plus, from saturday night live, michael che is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] new cohead writer. Hes a good dude. Steve love michael che. Jimmy taraji, michael, the roots, and i are squaring off in a new game weve been playing around the office. Its called quiplash. And its really, really fun. And so were gonna see how how we do well. Tariq, good luck. [ laughter ] and we got great music from sofi tukker, everybody right there. Steve oh [ cheers and applause ] jimmy theyre great its good to be back. You have a good break . Steve i had fantastic break. Jimmy yeah, i went to i took the kids skiing, went to utah. Steve oh, great. Jimmy i did a lot of pizza slicing. Steve love it. [ light laughter ] jimmy smoked a bologna. Steve in front of the kids . [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah. [ laughter ] i got a tube of bologna, and i smoked it. [ laughter ] steve i thought you meant something else. Okay, never mind. Jimmy what . I got a smoker. So i went to like a [ laughter ] steve this is a family show. Jimmy have you ever smoked a bologna . Steve in college, maybe. [ laughter ] not like, you know, no big thing, right . Jimmy i put like a glaze on it. Because i read about this thing on the internet or something, i dont know how i ended up you know, those worm holes. Next thing you know [ laughter ] steve smoke a bologna, man. Jimmy i may have googled smoking bologna. Steve oh, my god. Jimmy sorry, sorry. Anyway, i found a glaze. I put a slice in it. I made a maple not maple, brown sugar glaze with, like, soy sauce. Went fullon gourmet bologna. [ light laughter ] wait until you see this picture. Steve ooh. [ audience oohs ] jimmy thats what im talking about right there. Steve wow. [ applause ] its like a ham. Jimmy yeah. Steve id eat that. Jimmy you know how they say a picture is worth a thousand words . Well, its also worth one meme. Ill show you what im talking about right now. Its time for this week in memes. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] this week in memes this week in memes yeah jimmy first up, take a look at this photo of donald trump. [ light laughter ] this meme is called, when you dont get that afternoon nap. [ laughter and applause ] cranky. Next is a photo of queen elizabeth. Her meme says, when the wedding is open bar. [ laughter and applause ] heres a photo of oprahs partner, stedman, from last nights Golden Globes. [ light laughter ] his meme says, when you just realized youre going to be first lady. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] steve wow. Jimmy next we have a photo of vladimir putin. His meme says, when the dj announces your name at your sweet 16. [ laughter and applause ] next is a photo of angela merkel. Her meme is called, when you dont know how to raise the roof, so you push the wall. [ laughter and applause ] next is a photo of willem dafoe at the Golden Globes. [ laughter ] his meme says, when you see your ex has gained 30 pounds. [ laughter ] steve yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy how you doing . Steve smoke that bologna. Jimmy next up, heres a a photo of prince harry. His meme says, when you hear, omg, was that ed sheeran . [ laughter and applause ] next up, heres argentinian coach eduardo berizzo. His meme says, when you get a a good soccer idea. [ laughter and applause ] and finally, heres a photo of kim jongun. His meme says, ermagherd, im a dertercterv. [ laughter ] that was this week in memes. We are playing quiplash after the break. Stick around, everybody [ cheers and applause ] simon and garfunkel ] bees bees bees bees the volkswagen atlas. With easyaccess 3rd row. Lifes as big as you make it. Resolution 1 binge more. Join the uncarrier, and get four unlimited lines for forty bucks each. With netflix included. Watch however you want. On your phone, tablet, or tv. Lets rock this joint it all comes down to this. The energizer bunny™ gets the snap hes still going [crowd cheering] nothing outlasts energizer® ultimate lithium™. No i dont want there to be white marks. Nothing theres no dust, theres no marks. Oh my god, its dove no white marks. On a 100 colors dove invisible dry spray, awarded best of beauty by allure. Ok, so with the awardwinning our customers have 24 7 access, digital id cards, they can even pay their bill beep bill has joined the call. Hey bill, were just phone hi guys, bill here. Do we have julia on the line too . k, well well just phone hey sorry. I had you muted. Well yea lets just phone so what i was thinking ok well well phone yeah lets just go ahead phone oh alright the awardwinning geico app. Download it today. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back to the tonight show, everybody tariq and i are about to face off in a new game called quiplash. Weve been playing it around the office. First were going to need a few more players. [ drum roll ] and we found some good ones. She stars in the new movie, proud mary, which is in theaters on friday. Please welcome taraji p. Henson [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my goodness oh, i love you. Hi. Jimmy also, from saturday night live, its michael che, everybody right there. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy nice to see you. Now, heres how the game works. On our phones, were each going to get a couple of fillinthebank style prompts. Like, a good name for a singles bar for pirates is blank. Then we each secretly type in the funniest answer that we can think of. And when were done, two answers will go headtohead on the big screen. And the other players, along with the roots, will vote on which one they think is funnier. But you dont know whose answer is whose until after you vote. Okay, lets all take our seats and grab our phones. Here we go. And lets start this game up. Lets go. Quiplash lets do it. [ cheers and applause ] sit back and relax. Jimmy yeah. And its hosted by like a a virtual host. Thats him right there. Its time for quiplash with your host josh schmitty schmitstinstein. Thats you, isnt it . Jimmy thats not me. Thats not me. Thats a real thing. Thats a guy, there. Jimmy its how the game is played. All right. Here we go. All right, were all in. I dont want to jinx it, but i feel like were really gonna change some lives here today. Jimmy i got bangs. I dont like my image. I want to change it. Jimmy i know. I got a time for round one. Jimmy all right. Round one, here we go. The more folks who chose your answer, the more points you get. Go. Jimmy all right, what do we oh. You got a good one . Uhhuh. Jimmy i dont. I sent mine in jimmy no, you didnt [ cheers and applause ] oh, oh i think its really good. Vote for me. Jimmy im in, im in youre in . Jimmy oh, wait, youre not in. Im in jimmy oh, yeah, you are. Wait answer jimmy you have to answer you have another question oh, i have another jimmy youve got two questions. Oh, shoot [ laughter ] jimmy youve got to be funny twice. Oh, [ bleep ], i spelled things wrong shoot. [ laughter ] jimmy unbel [ cheers ] lets see whats won. Number one on the list jimmy all right, here we go. A new name for bananas. Jimmy a new name for bananas. Monkey fruit or nannies. I win jimmy youre cant say it was yours. Oh, i cant . Jimmy no. Oh. Jimmy i think nannies is really funny. No. No me jimmy yes crushed on that one, man. Thats terrible jimmy that wasnt even that funny. That wasnt even that funny. Nannies. Next prompt nannies. The worst curse, every full moon you turn into blank. [ light laughter ] time to vote. Who do i vote for . One of those is really good. Jimmy oh its a tie. A tie. Jimmy all right. Up next, the title of a a drama clearly gunning to win an oscar. Jimmy i cry a lot. Vote now. [ laughter ] jimmy come on. Come on, man. Thats cheap. Thats cheap. Thats a cheap laugh. The musical. Jimmy ive got to vote for it. Yeah, i gotta vote [ talking over each other ] all right. A boner [ cheers ] bang, bang that was perfect. Jimmy you got quiplashed tariq, well done, man. You know what that means. You know what that means. We need more women on this panel. [ cheers ] next prompt, a terrible vacation idea, going to visit the museum of blank. I didnt i didnt answer. Okay, vote. [ light laughter ] jimmy really . Really . Natural booty [ cheers and applause ] jimmy all right. Che, nice job. Im voting for you, che, because i want to be on snl again. Thats all for round one. Heres the scoreboard. Jimmy thats yours. Whos in the lead, now no, thats only round one. Were going to play two rounds. Theres more . Jimmy whos in the lead right now . Not me. Jimmy oh get on my level. Get on my level. Lets go. This is not good. Jimmy get on my level . Round two is pulling into the station jimmy all right, round two. Worth double the points. With double the points and bonuses. Double, double. Okay, i have to put my funny cap on. Jimmy yeah, i know, exactly. All right. Here we go, ready . [ light laughter ] jimmy uh i think im going to win this one. Jimmy no, im going to lose this one. [ light laughter ] all right. That was so stupid, but i tried. Theres no way i dont win all of these. [ light laughter ] this is so unfair, because che really is a comedic writer. Jimmy well, exactly. Our first prompt is, the worst office has a view of blank . Okay. Voting time. Pick your favorite. Jimmy an outhouse with no walls. [ light laughter ] one of those is mine. Jimmy i know which one is yours, come on. Enough of the natural booty. All right, we get it. [ talking over each other ] jimmy exactly. We get it. [ talking over each other ] jimmy youre so good. I did not know im in the house. That was me. Moving on, a terrible drill sergeant would be constantly yelling blank. Its voting time please. Oh, i got to vote. What happened . I went to google. Oh. Jimmy jimmy whats up, man . Aw, man. Jimmy yo youre getting close now, man. All right. Okay, next one. A forgotten book in the classic harry potter series, harry potter and the blank. Ready, set, vote. [ laughter ] jimmy come on. Enough with the boners. Yo, che enough with the im not doing it enough with the boners and the booties its cheap shots. Jimmy its cheap im not doing it, man. We all know sex sells, its horrible oh, cmon, man. Thats good. Use your brain, not your boner thats perfect comedy. [ light laughter ] jimmy roots, dont vote come on. Its irony. Jimmy i know, i know. [ light laughter ] its a call back. Its a lot of comedy things. Oh, no jimmy i got your back i got your back i lost on harry pot thats amazing. Jimmy i did you, i got next one, a terrible name for a street drug. [ laughter ] not with you one of those is mine [ laughter ] jimmy one of those is mine. One is those is mine. Jimmy oh, che got this. Oh hey jimmy thats what im talking about. A little respect, right there. We got your message already. Natural booty, okay. Okay, lets check those final scores. Jimmy lets hear the its gonna be tight. This is gonna be close. Come on. [ drum roll ] yeah [ cheers and applause ] yes yes yeah thats how you do it, right there. [ cheers and applause ] my thanks to taraji, michael che, tariq trotter, and the roots. Were talking to taraji after the break. Stick around, everybody. Taraji, it was close. [ cheers and applause ] wiback like it could used to . Neutrogena hydro boost water gel. With hyaluronic acid it plumps skin cells with intense hydration and locks it in. For supple, hydrated skin. Hydro boost. From neutrogena at at t, buy one iphone 8 and get one on us. Thats one for you, and one for. Your bbf your backup singer. Your frenemy your boo your roomie so one phone for you and one phone for someone in your squad. Buy an iphone 8 and get a second iphone 8 on us when you have directv. Dad promised he would teach me how to surf on our trip. When you book a flight then add a hotel you can save. 3 waves later, i think it was the other way around. Everything you need to go. Expedia. You for four years. 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Henson [ cheers and applause ] yes [ unintelligible ] jimmy thank you for coming back to the show. Thanks for having me back. Jimmy i love having you, please. And thank you for playing the game. I know you always are fun. Congrats on everything. How was your holidays . Everything good . Everything was good. Jimmy yeah. I did not have the assistance of my mom or my little sister, so it took me three days to cook. [ light laughter ] jimmy three days . Three days. Jimmy really . Whatd you make . Everything. I made turkey. I made my grandmothers special barbecue chicken. I made jimmy did you smoke a a bologna . [ laughter ] cause i did. Im not that good. You smoked a bologna . Jimmy oh, yes. Wow. Jimmy it was good. [ light laughter ] will you will your jam is chili, right . I love chili. I make five chilies. I make a veggie chili. I make turkey chili. I make a beef chili. I make a chicken white bean chili, and i make a salmon chili. [ audience oohs ] jimmy you made a salmon chili . You take the salmon and you put it in the frying pan and you chop it up like ground beef or ground turkey. And you do your chili. Jimmy really . Yeah. Thats for the pescatarians. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. But you got a new addition to the family. Yes. Jimmy i want to show a a picture. Cause man, oh, man, you got a a beautiful new dog. Just look at this. [ audience aws ] look at him jimmy look at that. [ audience aws ] are you kidding me . That is the cutest dog ive ever seen. He is so cute. I miss him. Jimmy oh, no. Whats his name . Kball. Jimmy oh, kball. Yeah, because hes built like a little football player. [ light laughter ] jimmy hes unbelievably cute. What kind of dog is this . He is a miniature french bulldog. Jimmy oh, my gosh. And he snores. [ audience aws ] jimmy thats even cooler. He snores and he snorts. [ light laughter ] jimmy and heres him with his with his new daddy. With his daddy in the hoodie. Jimmy in a hoodie. [ light laughter ] he fits in the hoodie. Okay, wait a minute, yall. Pray, because i left them home together. [ light laughter ] im very concerned. Jimmy really . You dont know whats going to happen . Well first of all, kball is such a good dog. He pooped on the floor and he went right into his playpen. [ light laughter ] he knew he was wrong. Jimmy he knew he was wrong . He knew he was wrong. [ light laughter ] hes probably hijacking all the toilet paper rolls in the house. Its gonna be a mess when i get back. But its okay. Jimmy is he going to stay that size . No, he gets a little bigger. His feet. See how big his feet are . Jimmy yeah. He grows into his feet. Might be double that size. But right now, hes like 5 pounds, ball of fat joy. [ laughter ] jimmy ball of fat joy. Let me tell you about this movie. You are a bad ass. Yes, thank you. Jimmy you are unbelievable. This is ive never seen you do an action movie. Me either. I surprised myself. [ laughter ] jimmy how did you get into proud mary is the movie . Look, it came to me and i didnt turn it down. Clint called and he was like, i got a film for you. And i was like, really . And clint called he screened him over at sony. And he sent me this script, and i read it and i was like, clint, you know how old i am . [ light laughter ] jimmy no. You trust me with this . And he was like, youre the only one that can do it. And i mean, come on. Im an actress. This is a role that i dreamt of. I kept throwing little subliminal hints on instagram. You know, sending it to the dc, Marvel Comics and all of them. [ light laughter ] nothing ever panned out. Jimmy so now youre doing this. Actually, i did my own. I executive produced this as well. Jimmy aha, see . [ cheers and applause ] thats what im talking about. Thats thats what im talking about, pal. Its great. I mean, youre diving out of cars. Youre flipping let me tell you. The reason why i was i had to do this film was because, you know, usually, women, after we get 40, they send us out to pasture. Well, honey. [ clears throat ] [ cheers and applause ] im just saying, honey. Shes not ready to go out to the pasture. Jimmy shes not ready to go out to the pasture, no. But my point is, is that we see men of all ages over 40. We can rattle names off, and they always get these heroic roles. Why dont you see women . Like all of my friends in the industry look amazing. And theyre quite athletic. Why arent we all in films like this every year . Jimmy i like that. Good. Yeah. Do more of it. [ cheers and applause ] theres also a nice story as well. It is. You want me to tell you about it . Jimmy yes. [ light laughter ] okay. Well, when the audience meets mary, she is a natural born killer. Like, thats what she does. Jimmy yeah. She was orphaned. The streets raised her, and shes just really good at killing people. Jimmy everyones got to be good at something, you know . Yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] but you know, one of the kills goes bad and she leaves the kid an orphan. And she cant get over that. So she spends a year following this kid, making sure hes okay. Another mob family adopts him. And of course, turns him into a a street kid. So she sees an opportunity to change not only her life, but this childs life. So then it becomes about all of boston against proud mary and this kid. Proud mary wins. Just see the movie. [ light laughter ] jimmy i want to show a a clip. Heres taraji p. Henson in proud mary. Take a look at this. [ tires screeching ] [ gunfire ] [ tires screeching ] [ gunfire ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy yeah thats how you do it that is how you do it. Taraji p. Henson. Go see proud mary in theaters this friday. Well be right back with michael che, everybody. Stick around. [ cheers and applause ] touch is how we communicate with those we love, but when your psoriasis is bad, does it ever get in the way . Embrace the chance of 100 clear skin with taltz. 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So hurry into petsmart for the love of pets with 33 individual vertebrae and 640 muscles in the human body, no two of us are alike. Life made more effortless through adaptability. The perfect position seat in the lincoln continental. ii see your one, two and l. Three dollar deals. Tell you what, ill raise you five. Introducing value jacks way. Five great ways to save. Like i tell jack jr. , its all about big values, jr. Prices. Thats value jacks way. Like jacks oneofakind breakfast pockets for 2 each. Three of jacks famous tacos and a small drink for 3 or a classic bonus jack combo for 5 its like i tell jack jr. , its all about big values, jr. Prices. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy our next guest is one of the anchors of weekend update on saturday night live, where he was recently named cohead writer. You can see him when the show returns this saturday with host sam rockwell and musical guest halsey. Everyone please welcome michael che [ cheers and applause ] jimmy some love right there for you welcome back, michael che thats what im talking about. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for having me. Jimmy oh please, we love you, man. And saturday night live is coming back this weekend with sam rockwell, who we love. Thats true. Jimmy hes fun. And you were just named cohead writer. Im jimmy congratulations. [ cheers and applause ] come on. Come on. A lot of people didnt know that i was even a writer on the show, because none of my sketches make it to air. [ light laughter ] but apparently now i can. Jimmy exactly. Now youre cohead writer. My dream is to put through all the sketches that they passed on. [ light laughter ] jimmy i wrote some bad stuff. Yeah, did you have one . Jimmy oh, i had thousands of bad ones. I just had to stop writing. [ light laughter ] it was always just awful. When its a bad sketch, its the worst because you can hear the pages turning. Yeah, its brutal. Jimmy and people are reading through. You know theres eight more pages to go. Jimmy yeah. [ light laughter ] and youre sweating. Youre just getting hot. Youre like, ooh. This is crazy. I once wrote a sketch about the richest black man in new york, duane reade. Nobody thought that was funny. [ laughter ] a lot of jimmy duane reade. Theres no white duanes. Jimmy yeah, thats right. No, there is not a white duane. I wrote a sketch about the first black dude to boo jackie robinson. [ laughter ] jimmy just wasnt a fan. Just not his fan. No, yeah, it was a baseball player. Jimmy yeah, exactly. There had to be one. Jimmy theres got to be one person. Is your family psyched that you got this job . My familys psyched. I think theyre more psyched that i have a job. [ laughter ] than the job that it is. They dont know what head writer means. They dont care. Jimmy they dont care. My brother texts me every saturday at 11 30 and asks me what am i doing. [ laughter ] im at work. Hes like, well, when . Im like, its in the name of the show. [ laughter ] jimmy saturday night. Saturday night live. Jimmy i work at night on saturday. And its live. Its live [ light laughter ] jimmy thats hilarious. Do they watch the show . They do. They watch the show all the time. And they have a lot of compliments for colin. [ light laughter ] they think colins great. [ laughter ] jimmy they love colin jost. They love colin jost. They dont think im the funniest person in the family. [ light laughter ] jimmy thats the greatest. I like the white dude. Jimmy yeah, yeah. [ light laughter ] you just had a break. Did you go on vacation or anything . I just did a show in atlanta for the national championship. [ laughter ] jimmy literally one person was just clapping. [ light laughter ] youre not getting a ride home. [ laughter ] jimmy how was that . It was gre it was bad. It was bad. Jimmy what do you mean . Well, i performed for the football teams. And theres a lot of restrictions. You cant talk about race. You cant talk you cant curse. You cant talk about politics. You cant it felt like the lyrics to imagine. It was like, imagine no religion. [ laughter ] and so i had to do jokes about nothing. [ light laughter ] and i did. Jimmy and it did not go well . Not good at all. [ light laughter ] jimmy really . Yeah. I was a little insulting, maybe. Yeah, whatever. Jimmy whatd you end up doing . I dont know. You know, i [ laughter ] theyre college kids, so im rooting for them, you know . But on the other hand, they wasnt laughing at any of my jokes so then i just got angry. [ laughter ] jimmy so now youre hating it . Yeah. I got i was like, yall going to be working in Car Dealerships later. [ light laughter ] i dont know why. I called all the black players demetrius and all the white players punters. [ laughter ] it was brutal. They wasnt laughing. I was upset. Theyll be fine. Jimmy thats a good joke. Thats a good joke. It was pretty solid, i got to admit. [ laughter ] jimmy and so, all whatd you do . So, then oh, how about this . After that, i was upset. We went to a dos equis party. You know the beer, dos equis. Jimmy dos equis. I say dos equeese. [ laughter ] jimmy dos equeese . When ive never heard a word pronounced, i just say it like my grandmother would say it. [ light laughter ] dos equis. Jimmy yeah, dos equis. Okay, dos equis. Jimmy yeah, its like the most interesting man he was there. And i was photobombing him so much because i was upset. I was photobombing him because people were trying to take pictures with him and then they came over and asked me to stop. [ laughter ] and then they asked me, hey, do you want to take a picture . And i was like, sure. So were taking a picture and im like, im going to mess with this guy. And i was like, hey, man, were going to go to the strip club after this if you want to join. And he said, okay. [ laughter ] and i like i guess hes making it up. I didnt really believe it. But then like 20 minutes later, his guy comes over and was like, hey, augie wants to go to the strip club. [ laughter ] jimmy augie is his name . I think thats what he said. They had accents. [ laughter ] i think his name is augie the same way i think the beer is dos equeese. Jimmy dos equis, yeah. But no, we so, we went to the strip club, me and the most interesting man in the world. [ laughter ] at an Atlanta Strip Club at 3 00 in the morning. Jimmy and is he the most interesting man in the world . Dude, he reconnected a a father with his son. It was weird. [ laughter ] he was amazing. This guy [ applause ] jimmy at a strip club . He was sitting we was at the club. This sounds made up, but please, follow me on instagram. [ laughter ] i documented it. Jimmy really . It was awesome. This guy is awesome. He really is interesting. Jimmy wow. [ light laughter ] he was over there and he was like, hey, man, that guy is with his son right now. And it was just this old white dude and a young white dude. And i was like, thats a a little racist and presumptuous. [ light laughter ] he said, im going to go talk to them. I was like, dont. [ light laughter ] he walks over there and he starts talking to them. At first, theyre very uncomfortable. And then they started laughing. And then they started getting lap dances. [ laughter ] jimmy sounds like the craziest night ive ever even heard of. And then i lost my credit card at mcdonalds. [ laughter and applause ] jimmy youre doing it right. Youre doing it right. Youre doing it right. You know that. I want to write a sketch about that. Jimmy yeah, exactly. Do you still do would you ever do corporate gigs . Corporate gigs are hard, because you know, you just you cant say anything. Like i did this one gig for this Parent Company for, like, i think bounty and febreeze and all that stuff. And it had to be super clean, obviously, because its corporate. [ laughter ] no pun intended. Im not that good. [ rim shot ] [ laughter ] damn you. No, it had to be super clean. And also the catch was, you had to say the name of the product in your joke. [ light laughter ] now, jimmy, this infuriated me. Jimmy yeah. Because i was like, theres no way im going to ruin my so i just said the dirtiest, dirtiest, dirtiest jokes i could think of, and then i ended it with, and then we had to wipe it up with bounty. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy youll never work with bounty again. The crowd loved it. Jimmy yeah, exactly. Michael che, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] saturday night live is all new this weekend with host sam rockwell, musical guest halsey. Well be right back with a a performance from sofi tukker. Michael che [ cheers and applause ] this this this this is my body of proof. Proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. This is my body of proof that i can take on Psoriatic Arthritis with humira. 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We dont have a juicer the allnew volkswagen tiguan. It fits the everything you need, and everything you dont. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy hey, guys, come back tomorrow night. He is a golden globewinning actor, and his new film paddington 2 hits theaters friday. Hugh grant will be dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] plus, the golden globe awardwinning writer and director of lady bird, greta gerwig is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] and we have music from a ap ferg. Its a good show. You dont want to miss us tomorrow night. [ cheers and applause ] but first, they are a a grammynominated duo whose new single has been streamed 30 million times after the song was featured in the first iphone x commercial this past november. Performing best friends featuring nervo and the knocks, give it up for sofi tukker [ cheers and applause ] i think that ill keep loving you way past 65 we made a language for us two we dont need to describe every time you call on me i drop what i do you are my best friend and weve got some things to do yo you wanna meet me at the bar yawp yo you wanna meet me at the lounge yawp yo you wanna meet me in the club yawp yo you wanna meet me downtown okay yo you wanna meet me in the east yawp yo you wanna meet me in the west yawp yo you wanna meet me on the block yawp yo you wanna meet me at the spot okay i think that ill keep loving you way past 65 we made a language for us two we dont need to describe every time you call on me i drop what i do you are my best friend and weve got some things to do thats the way it is thats the way it goes its just us two its deja vu its what we know thats the way we like it dont complicate no need to fight it just invite it yeahahah wanna be my new friend we got a lot in common we can talk bout nothin things to do we got things to do yo you wanna meet me at the bar yawp yo you wanna meet me at the lounge yawp yo you wanna meet me in the club yawp yo you wanna meet me downtown okay yo you wanna meet me in the east yawp yo you wanna meet me in the west yawp yo you wanna meet me on the block yawp yo you wanna meet me at the spot okay i think that ill keep loving you way past 65 we made a language for us two we dont need to describe every time you call on me i drop what i do you are my best friend and weve got some things to do do you wanna do you wanna do you wanna yeah do you wanna do you wanna do you wanna do you wanna do you wanna do you wanna do you wanna do you wanna do you wanna yeah yeah [ cheers and applause ] jimmy thats it right there hey, thank you, thank you. Sofi tukker [ cheers and applause ] nervo, the knocks [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. Thank you so much. Best friend is out now. Well be right back. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you that was great [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy my thanks to taraji p. Henson, michael che, sofi tukker. [ cheers and applause ] nervo, the knocks and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania, ladies and gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching. Have a great night. I hope to see you tomorrow. Byebye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight rebel wilson senatorelect from alabama doug jones featuring the 8g band with fred armisen. [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight . [ cheers and applause ] thats fantastic to hear. In that case, lets get to the news. As i keep mentioning, disney world this week debuted their new President Trump robot for the hall of president s. [ light laughter ] and i just couldnt be happier about it. I mean, look at this thing. [ laughter ]