Tonight, join jimmy and his guests celine dion, tig notaro colin obrady, magician shin lim, and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1157 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome. Thank you very much, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome. Welcome to the tonight show. Thank you so much. [ cheers and applause my guest tonight is celine dion, everybody steve oh jimmy oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause celine has played giant arenas, small venues, and a residency in vegas the only place that they wont book her is a cruise ship. Steve wow. [ light laughter ] there you go its going to take a little bit. Jimmy of course, celine sang the theme song for titanic. Which is also now the theme for trumps presidency [ laughter and applause well, the impeachment hearings are in full swing. And next week, well hear testimony from jennifer williams, an aide to mike pence right now jennifer is like, if you think the hearings are boring, try being an aide to mike pence. [ laughter ] jennifer, are these pleated khakis too risque . [ light laughter ] should i get more of a wide wale . [ light laughter ] the house will also question National Security aide tim morrison can we see tim morrison . Yeah because when you want to look trustworthy, its best to walk around in a trench coat and a briefcase. [ laughter ] looks like a cvs Halloween Costume just labeled disguise. [ laughter ] you guys know the phrase netflix and chill . You ever heard that . [ cheers and applause well, apparently for disney , people are saying disney and thrust. [ laughter ] steve ew, ew yikes. Jimmy well, nbcs streaming service is called peacock. So they might want to change that soon. [ laughter ] the big movie this weekend is ford vs. Ferrari, starring matt damon and christian bale. Its supposed to do much better at the box office than todays other release, hyundai vs. Kia. [ light laughter ] some tv news a new poster for the Upcoming Season of the bachelor was just released and it features the next bachelor, pilot pete. [ cheers and applause check it out there he is right there. The slogan for this season of the bachelor is expect turbulence. [ light laughter ] when they saw that, Spirit Airlines was like, hey, get your own damn slogan come on. [ laughter ] well, its already the time of the year for holiday commercials. And i just saw that kay jewelers just introduced a a handsome santa take a look. [ light laughter ] that guy shouldnt play santa. He should be in a bathtub in a a cialis commercial. [ laughter ] its like if santa got a a makeover on queer eye. [ laughter ] well, this is a crazy story. I read about three cows in North Carolina who swam five miles to escape a hurricane. Can we see a photo of them [ audience aws ] yeah, there they are by the way, thats also their album cover. [ laughter ] theres the hot one. Theres the sensitive one. Theres the bad boy. Steve ooh. [ laughter ] jimmy and this isnt good. According to a new study, 50 of this is weird and gross. Steve thats a real study. Jimmy yes. According to a new study, 50 of people dont change their underwear every day. [ audience groans half so if you change yours every day, thats great. But odds are the person who sat in your seat last night didnt [ laughter ] and finally, i read that more people in their 90s are doing cocaine. [ light laughter ] you could tell grandpas on cocaine when hes speeding down the highway at 30 miles an hour [ laughter and applause we have a great show give it up for the roots, everybody. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy we have a fun show tonight. Celine dion is here steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy tig notaro is here [ cheers and applause colin obrady is here. [ cheers and applause and weve got magic from my man, shin lim is here tonight. [ cheers and applause you know what i did last night i finally did it questlove what did you do . Jimmy i went to freestyle love supreme. Questlove you went to it jimmy yeah, i did it i was in it. Tariq what jimmy it was awesome questlove you were freestyling . Jimmy this is the broadway show thats Linmanuel Miranda and a bunch of his its kind of where he started, right questlove yeah tariq yeah jimmy started doing freestyle in, like, this club in new york. And now its on broadway it was so much fun i loved it it was crazy did you do a story or no questlove no, i stayed in the back jimmy tariq . Tariq yeah, i was we were there the same night. I stayed in the back too jimmy yeah i was in the back, but then they kind of like they were asking for suggestions of embarrassing stories. So, i was like, im not going to do anything and then my friend was like, you should just do it. I go, im not doing it. And so my friend yelled out, i could have married Nicole Kidman. [ laughter ] and so they were like, what . Theyre like you know i think lin knew i was there, but he didnt want to call me out. But i was like so, now i had to do it so i said, yeah. So hes like, is that jimmy . So i got up and i told the whole story. It was embarrassing and everything and then about i went on a thing. She just came over i thought it was i cant even get into it [ light laughter ] its embarrassing. Gosh, anyways. I go into the whole detail and everything then what they do, is they do a rap about that story, how it happened so this guy is like, my name is jimmy fallon, im on saturday night live. but in real life im not prepared for real. Or Something Like that then he goes like, my friend rick calls me on the phone. They do this whole story about how the whole thing went down. And someone plays Nicole Kidman, and it was just a whole thing. Then what happens is they go, rewind. And they go like and they redo what would happen if i was actually smooth [ light laughter ] steve oooh tariq ooh. Steve and that made you feel good, didnt it jimmy no [ laughter ] steve oh jimmy cause ill never be like that. But it made me laugh, ill tell you that much. So anyways, props and shout out to everyone over at freestyle love supreme. It was really fun. [ cheers and applause it was good. I liked it you want to play a fun game . Steve what is it jimmy all right, its time for tonight show hashtags. Steve yeah jimmy here we go [ cheers and applause Hashtag Hashtags jimmy so we do this thing every week, where i send out a a hashtag and we ask you guys to respond to that topic and since the weather is getting cooler, i thought id send out a hashtag called thatwascold i can say that about the Nicole Kidman story. Steve yeah, that was cold. [ light laughter ] jimmy well, i asked you guys to tell us about the best diss youve given or received. Within minutes it became the number two trending topic in the u. S. For a long time [ cheers and applause it was trending for a while. So thank you so much for playing along. Now i thought id share some of my favorite thatwascold responses from you guys. This first one is from natalieschuyler she says, i was at dmv getting my new license picture taken the dmv lady looked at it for a few seconds and said, aw, sweetie, do you want to try again . [ audience ohs [ laughter and applause yeah, you do this ones from edjervisuk. [ light laughter ] steve ed jervis u. K. Jimmy ed jervis. Steve yeah jimmy u. K. Ed jervis so its like, ed jervis. Steve right. So hes not u. S. Ed jervis jimmy thats ed jervis steve right. Right, this is ed jervis u. K jimmy this is ed edward jervis. Steve are you sure its not [ light laughter ] youre sure its not ed jervis uk [ light laughter ] jimmy its ed jervisuk steve okay [ light laughter ] jimmy he says, after my pregnant wife and i explained to our 2yearold daughter that her new sister was in mommys belly, she looked over at me and said, baby in daddys belly too . [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause steve oh, snap jimmy no, sweetie, beer is in daddys belly [ light laughter ] this is from abbylampe. Its probably abby lamp. Steve right, lampe with an e. Jimmy it was lamp with an e. So i thought it was cuter, abby lampe steve yeah [ light laughter ] you know, all of a sudden it has a sort of alliteration to it abby lampe jimmy she says, when i asked my mom how long i should cook a 25pound turkey, she told me that she didnt think i had enough friends to use a 25pound turkey. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause steve oh jimmy thats cold steve thats cold. Jimmy that was cold steve cold blooded jimmy ice cold this one is hanbagwilton1 stve handbagwilton1. Jimmy not handbag, hanbag. Steve ham mag . Jimmy hanbag no d. Steve so han, han. Jimmy han. Steve hanbag hanbag jimmy yeah she says, kid said to me, i love your hair how do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that . Steve oh [ laughter and applause snap jimmy this ones from leenie8791. Little leenie she said, the night before i left for college my dad said, cheerily, the best part of you going so far away to school is that you can come up with a whole new personality. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause steve he didnt mean nothing. Jimmy slam steve cold blooded [ light laughter ] jimmy this one is from stevenpoirier1. Steve poirier . Jimmy whats that . Steve its french. Steven Poirier Jimmy yeah poirier. Steve oh, yeah, poirier. Jimmy poirier. [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, Steve Poirier un steve un right. Jimmy stevenpoirier1 he says, the waitress recently asked if i wanted the senior discount im 35. [ audience ohs ] [ laughter and applause steve oh cold blooded jimmy that was cold, man ice world. This ones from tdeur7. Steve all right. [ light laughter ] jimmy they arent fake these are real things. So theres probably six other tdeurs steve eurs yeah, this is the seventh one. [ light laughter ] jimmy he says, my son refused to mess up his hair by wearing a hat on a cold day. He looked at my receding hairline and said, im going to enjoy it while i still have it. [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] this ones from lcapes26. Steve ooh. Jimmy lcapes. Steve lcapes. Jimmy she says, an uber driver was trying to find me in a crowd. He called me and asked, is that you in the white leggings . i wasnt wearing leggings. It was just my legs. [ laughter and applause [ sad trombone ] jimmy im irish steve come on. Jimmy im irish steve white leggings jimmy white leggings steve ouch jimmy this ones from wonderfulwomank she said, when i was 10, i was helping out at a school event with little kids and i asked the girl how old she was she turned to her mom and asked how old she was, the mom said two. Then little girl turned to me and said, two, stupid. [ laughter ] two, stupid. [ light laughter ] this last ones from otherman steve oh, oh [ light laughter ] jimmy thats a little shady. Steve yeah, shade on that one. Jimmy get a tweet from the other man . Steve yeah [ light laughter ] oh, look out jimmy other man. Steve call blinds to go. Jimmy he says, itd been a while since id been to the doctor and he asked me if i lost weight before i could answer, he looked at my chart and said, oh, thats a no. [ laughter and applause ] there you have it. Those are our tonight show hashtags to check out more of my favorites, go to tonightshow. Com hashtags [ cheers and applause stick around well be right back with celine dion, everybody [ cheers and applause ying right now there is more private information on your phone than in your home. Your location. Your messages. Your heart rate after a run. These are private things. And they should belong. To you. [lock clicking] repeat after me. Hi am grateful. Audience i am grateful. I am getting all the gifts this holiday. Hurry in for forty percent off everything. Thats forty percent off everything you get all the gifts now, at old navy. Whats the time . Device a dime is ten cents. Severe cold or flu . Take control with theraflu. Powerful, soothing relief to defeat your worst cold and flu symptoms fast. Device sneezes theraflu. The power is in your hands. Burrito. Raw kitfo fried shiso. Pork chop. Soda pop. Soursop. Hot pot. Scallop. Kebab. inhale brussels sprout. Sauerkraut. Freshcaught trout. Alfalfa sprout. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. And take an extra 15 off save on cuddl duds sheets starting at 25. 49. An air fryer 84. 99. And a singleserve coffee maker just 33. 99. Plus save even more on your home sale purchase . Plus get kohls cash this weekend at kohls. By the way, shes the it wasnext mozart. G day. As usual we were behind schedule. But sophies enthusiasm cannot be dampened. Not even by a runaway donut. We powered through it in our toyota prius. Because a stars got to shine, no matter what. Its unbelievable what you can do in the prius. Toyota lets go places. [ cheers and applause jimmy her music has won grammys and oscars she just wrapped the most successful Las Vegas Residency of all time. Her new album, courage, is out now and shes currently touring on the courage world tour. Please help me welcome the one and only, celine dion [cheers and applause] jimmy please, welcome. Celine dion, welcome back. [cheers and applause] thank you so much. Jimmy you look gorgeous. Oh please, welcome back. Im so happy youre here great to be here. Long time no see jimmy i know i dont know if you know this, but were in the middle of a a celineaissance. Thats what were calling it you should have let me known, i would have dressed appropriately. [ laughter ] jimmy oh no, yes some magazines have said that its the rebirth of celine dion. Were in a celineaissance and i go, i love that. Thats kind of nice well, i feel like im being born every morning jimmy yeah when you wake up no, yes. [ laughter ] thank you. Yeah. Jimmy i didnt say it. Someone else said it every day im kind of jimmy i thought it was maybe started with your dress from the met gala last year. Which i have to show it broke the internet. What . Did i break the internet jimmy yes. Good no, im joking [ laughter ] jimmy look at this dress oohlala. [ cheers and applause jimmy look at that dress stunning is that what you just wear normally around the house . Thats what i think when i think of you actually, i go to bed like this at night. Jimmy you go to bed like that yeah. Yeah jimmy absolutely yeah i actually asked you for something that you do wear in the house Walking Around the house. For your people we asked your publicist oh, they gave you a picture without my permission . Thats nice. Jimmy yeah [ light laughter ] this is you around the home. This is what you wear. There you go thats celine dion around the house. [cheers and applause] well, listen jimmy this is gorgeous well, you know, ive got to keep myself safe especially when i do scrambled eggs in the morning for the kids you know i dont want to catch on fire. Jimmy no, yeah so you have to coat yourself in an armor suit. [ laughter ] congrats on the residency in las vegas. The longest, most successful residency in the history of las vegas. [cheers and applause] thank you so much. Thank you. Jimmy thats amazing thank you to all the fans for coming jimmy yeah, thats kind of a game changer kind of a life changer because youre like, yeah, i guess i just live here its 16 years or something ive been there for 17 years jimmy yeah living in vegas yeah jimmy wow. I was supposed to be there for three months i dont know what happened [ laughter ] jimmy thats what happens in vegas alright, thats why we dont talk about it. Yeah, and what happens in vegas stays in vegas jimmy stays in vegas thank you jimmy okay, yeah, no problem. You got me. Jimmy i got you. I got you. I got you jimmy celine, i always try to ask you a good titanic question every time youre here because i know you probably love those you know thats a long time ago, right jimmy i know you love those questions. I maybe remember the songs. Jimmy no, but heres what everyone is saying, and this is still being talked about on the internets, on the interweb theyre saying at the end of the movie if rose just scooted over a little bit [ laughter ] just a little bit, just over here, she could have saved jacks life. Do you agree with this dont put me in trouble [ laughter ] jimmy no come on America Needs to know. What if they want to do a a titanic number two jimmy no you cant do a titanic number two no, its true jimmy no, you cant. Listen, first of all, first of all, if you look closely to the picture, rose is maybe dead or totally frozen, and shes not quite all there. Okay second of all, he doesnt need an invitation. [ laughter ] [ applause ] come on, baby. Make yourself comfortable. Jump in. Jimmy yeah, yeah you know . Jimmy he could have pushed her over a little bit. And then who did not think about this guy who is in the middle of the frozen ocean, and that maybe all his body is so frozen that he didnt have the strength to jump in. For my love jump in you know . Jimmy yeah, you didnt think that he could jump for her love jump i feel the touch jump if you wont take my kisses in the night then jump for my love jimmy yeah, all right good alright. [cheers and applause] lets talk about [ cheers and applause come on. We love you. Come on. Youre the best. Youre so sweet jimmy i love you come on. All right. We get to be silly on this show lets talk about your new album. It is out today. It is out right now. [ cheers and applause download it. Go to spotify. Stream it. It is called courage, and its a great album cover there why did you call it courage . I called it courage because the last three years, my family, myself, my kids, my family went through tough times. A lot of people go through tough times. And i really wanted to, after the passing of rene, wanted to this is actually the first my first album in english without him physically but he is always, always within me, and when this song came, that was called courage, it represented all the album because it was hard. It was difficult and, also, its a message that, you know, courage is such an important and big word that all of us have courage and all of us at one point in our lives know that we want to use it, but eventually sometimes we might need it and we need that in our lives to be able to hold on to, to be able to find our inner strength and be really saying that, you know what . Im a mother i got my children. I love to sing its great, and its going to be okay. And courage, dont you dare fail me now. Jimmy yeah you know. [cheers and applause] jimmy i love that. Youre doing the courage world tour right now, and i know, i heard this may be a rumor as well this is almost like another everything. Oh, youre laughing. I see. Jimmy no, i just heard a a rumor. Another picture jimmy no, i dont have a a picture, but i heard that you have been known to drive i dont even want to look behind the desk. Jimmy no, no i dont have a photo i heard that you were maybe driving your own tour bus. Oh, of course i do. I dont only drive my own tour bus, i drive my people crazy, too. Jimmy no, yeah thats my job jimmy you do that. I heard that you dont have a cell phone is that true well, driving and texting at the same time jimmy thats true. I know that. Yeah, yeah jimmy i heard that youre the kid is thinking jimmy i heard that youre getting into a laptop, youre getting a cell phone, and i thought it would be kind of fun if me and you took your first selfie [ audience aws ] would you like to . Do you know what a selfie is [ laughter ] why would i take a selfie jimmy no cause you have to take a a selfie [ laughter ] everyone takes a selfie. I can try you want to take a selfie with me [ cheers and applause all right. No problem jimmy selfie of us i will take care of you. I promise. Ready . Hold on. Where do i look where do i look . Because i dont want to have crooked eyes wheres the camera wheres the camera, jimmy . [ laughter ] jimmy alright, let me just show everyone what we did. Where do you look first [ applause ] you see . But where do you look . [ cheers and applause jimmy its perfect its perfect celine dion, everybody [cheers and applause] jimmy her tour is called the courage world tour. She loves selfies. Her new album, courage, is out now. Well be right back with tig notaro stick around [ cheers and applause presentation, tim. Could you email me the part about geico making it easy to switch and save hundreds . Oh yeah, sure. Um. You dont know my name, do you . laughs nervously of course i know your name. I just get you mixed up with the other guy. Whats his name . Whats your name . Switch to geico®. You could save 15 or more on car insurance. Could you just tell me . I want this to be over. Im jimmy dean, and only one like this any nicer. Ning a hearty, hefty, good tasting breakfast. With eggs, bacon, sausage, cheese and taters. And when you finish, you know you had something to eat. Olays new retinol24 faced the competition and rose above. Olays retinol24 complex hydrates better than the 1 retinol. Visibly smoother brighter skin in 24 hours. New olay retinol24. Running out of gift ideas, seeking something more. Well if inspirations what youre searching for. Follow me to a place i know with Endless Possibilities so you can check your list off rowbyrow. Im making this song up as i go come on look around so much in store, youll spend much less but gift much more at the stores that youve been searching for spend less, gift better. At t. J. Maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. Ah, that worked well [airport pa]all flights have been delayed. Tmobile makes the holidays easier. Like this. Because right now when you buy one of the latest samsung phones you get one free. On that. So you can post this. Score this. Be there like this. And share all of this. With that. So do this, on that, with us. Now, buy a Samsung Galaxy s10 or note 10 and get one free. Emreplenished,d, fortified. Emerge everyday with emergenc. Packed with b vitamins, electrolytes, antioxidants, plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Why not feel this good every day . Emerge and see. [ cheers and applause jimmy our next guest is an emmy and grammynominated comedian who you can see in the Second Season of her funny or die talk show called under a a rock with tig notaro. Please welcome the very funny tig notaro [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back havent seen you in a while, im glad youre here im very happy to be here, jimmy, i love you. Jimmy its been awhile since i last saw you, hows everything going things are good i mean, i actually just had spinal fusion. [ light laughter ] wow. Youre going to love this, there were a lot of complications. [ light laughter ] jimmy tig, theyre not laughing at you. Theyre laugh tig, im sorry about that. My intestines shut down jimmy okay ow yeah. Jimmy im sorry about that thats okay but jimmy thats terrible. As long as i get a laugh. [ laughter ] jimmy no, thats awful, thats awful news. Im doing better. Jimmy good but i was hospitalized for a while with these complications, and every day that they were adding more time to my stay i started to kind of have anxiety and panic attacks, which i dont normally have in my life. But i was in so much pain, and it was just being extended and they put me on ativan, which people take for those kind of attacks. And of course i was allergic to it [ laughter ] and i started guys jimmy i know i started hallucinating, but i wasnt on my phone much, to say the least. Jimmy yeah and then my wife saw me reach for my phone and she was like, oh, wait. Wait, what are you doing . And i said, patrick is checking to see how im doing. And she said, let me see what you wrote. And i was like, pff, fine. I hand her the phone and she said, yeah, you cant send that. And what the text said was and again, i wasnt trying to be funny i was just really responding to him. I said, yeah, patrick, things have been getting worse to a a towel. [ light laughter ] and then in parentheses it said, i see tractor [ laughter ] exclamation point. And then also, chb and everybody when i tell them this story always ask, whats chb . Jimmy whats chb yeah. My question is, what is getting worse to a towel [ light laughter ] i mean, how does nobody ask that question . Everyones like, well, yeah, of course it was getting worse to a towel. Jimmy yeah you had spinal fusion. But i love jimmy whats worse to a towel. Yeah, thats when its bad. Jimmy yeah, i see tractor. Yeah, not a tractor, cause clearly i was in a panic, it was coming towards me. I didnt have time to write the whole sentence [ laughter ] jimmy yeah, youre just reacting, i see tractor i see tractor jimmy tractor, in parentheses. I had the wherewithal to put it in parentheses. And then of course, you know, chb. Jimmy chb, what could that be, i have no idea it was nothing, jimmy jimmy no [ laughter ] i was hallucinating [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah, i got to be honest i went up to give you a little high five earlier and you didnt i dont give high fives jimmy i didnt did i know that about you . Well, its on National Television now [ laughter ] jimmy wow, i didnt know i thought weve high fived before absolutely not. Jimmy i got excited, i havent seen you in a while, weve never high fived . I never experience an emotion that calls for a high five [ laughter ] jimmy see, i live constantly in that emotion [ light laughter ] im always about that. When people go to high five me heres what i do go to high five me question and then you say, can i high five you . Lets start over jimmy all right. Can i high five you . No, no, no. No you have to go to i said lets start over jimmy okay so, go to high five me. Jimmy oh question . Jimmy can i high five you . No. [ laughter ] jimmy you make me do the whole thing . [ cymbal crash ] thank you jimmy why would you be so cruel . How about a fist bump. Are you a fist bumper . Ew [ laughter ] whatd you do that for, that was weird. What would you do that to me for . Whats wrong with you . I think all the hand jive stuff is weird jimmy really, you kind of bummed me out a little bit [ light laughter ] is this on yeah. Jimmy yeah, this is on, yeah of course. Is it really . Jimmy yeah, sure if it was turned off, would this show shut down . [ light laughter ] jimmy its kind of a little bit for show business stuff like that. Oldtimey microphone yeah. Jimmy but if i have used it before. Ive done other talk shows and nobody needs one of these. [ light laughter ] jimmy thats not true. I mean no, it is true. [ laughter ] jimmy no, its not it is [ light laughter ] jimmy yeah yeah. Jimmy because if you want to do hello [ laughter ] jimmy its not working, its not on. It not on right now but they can turn it on. Its usually good for like if you do like a wrestling intro or something are we about to wrestle [ laughter ] jimmy no, but i can give you an intro like i thought you were setting me up to wrestle and i dont know if you remember, but i just had back fusion [ laughter ] i see tractor jimmy no do you i see tractor [ laughter ] jimmy no, do you know what my secret move is . Finger in the hand hole jimmy no [ laughter ] no, its the crazy head butt also known as the chb can you hear this microphone chb i want to talk about under a rock. Oh, i do too. Thats why i came here [ laughter ] jimmy yeah i think its such a good idea for a show thank you jimmy i think its brilliant. Basically what happens is they bring you its a talk show that you host. You probably have a microphone, stuff like this on the desk. Absolutely not. [ light laughter ] jimmy and you talk to a person that you have no idea, you have no idea who they are. Yeah, the producers give me i dont follow a lot of pop culture. And so they give me what they call are face sheets and theyre celebrities but their names arent on them and i go through, and i say, never seen them in my life, yep, nope, nope, nope, nope. And then whoever i say ive never seen, then they reach out to their reps, and then their reps, meaning agents and what have you, and then if jimmy short for representatives. Representatives [ light laughter ] and yeah and then if they agree to come on the show, then i interview them facetoface, and try and figure out if theyre a singer, an actor jimmy how are they famous, or how would you know them yeah. Jimmy yeah, so youve had people on james van der beek has been on. Correct jimmy you had no idea about Dawsons Creek or any of that stuff . Never seen the man in my life [ light laughter ] jimmy you had you had wolfgang puck. Yeah. Ive eaten his food, i just didnt look at his face. [ light laughter ] i didnt look at the can i just opened it jimmy does he sell canned food i dont know. [ laughter ] i was too jimmy i think he sells pizza. Yeah, i think he sells more than pizza jimmy i dont think so i was very [ light laughter ] i was very hungry, and i tore through whatever packaging he had. I just didnt look at his face jimmy a can you tore through . Wow. [ light laughter ] kaley cuoco, you had to know her. I did not know her, she was so funny, though in fact, my producers, theyre kind of used to being shocked and obviously i do know who some celebrities were. Ive worked with them, socialized with them anyway, with kaley, the producers were so shocked that they and on each face sheet theres about 10 different faces. They snuck different angles of her face onto like five different face sheets because theyre like, how does she not know her . Jimmy i want to show a a clip heres tig notaro with kaley cuoco on under a rock, take a look at this. So happy to be here are you yeah. Im thrilled to have you here [ light laughter ] no clue though, none, right no, not yet no. No. All right how does that feel . It its new. Its new. Yeah. Yeah i usually get it with the sound of my voice sometimes. Okay. Yeah, but maybe not are you a singer . No, im not can you sing . No. Would you sing . Ill do anything you want me to, absolutely two, three, and thats enough. That is enough [ laughter and applause it wasnt that you sounded bad, it just didnt feel right it didnt yeah. It felt like like someone asked me to sing yeah. [ light laughter ] yeah. Jimmy thats exactly what it felt like [ cheers and applause tig notaro new episodes of under a rock are released every tuesday on funny or die. Did i hit everything Star Trek Discovery as well. Check it out on cbs streaming. Thats right. Jimmy yeah, and then your standup tour yeah. Jimmy do you have a name for your tour . No. [ light laughter ] jimmy just your name yeah. Jimmy its a great name. Thank you jimmy tig notaro, everybody. [ cheers and applause well be right back with colin obrady stick around, everybody. [ cheers and applause hvr dips. You either love it or you really love it. His voice was a universe of its own. Yeah. Hello im johnny cash. I hear the train a comin. He was the rambler. The patriot. The frontiersman. The cowboy. The folk hero. And time keeps draggin on he wanted to redeem himself. Im thankful for my soul mate. Im thankful for my family. Im thankful for the gift. Curiosity it ignites our imagination. In search of inspiration and daring new ideas. At lexus our greatest curiosity isnt a machine . Its you. Experience the rewards of our curiosity. paul switch to sprint everyone is talking about. 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A former army medic, made of the we maflexibility to handle members like kate. Whatever monday has in store and tackle four things at once. So when her car got hit, she didnt worry. She simply filed a claim on her usaa app and said. I got this. Usaa insurance is made the way kate needs it easy. She can even pick her payment plan so its easy on her budget and her life. Usaa. What youre made of, were made for. Usaa [ cheers and applause jimmy my next guest is a a World Record Holding explorer hes the first person in history to walk across antarctica alone and unsupported. And tonight hes announcing his next expedition. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome colin obrady [ cheers and applause jimmy colin, welcome to the show this is unbelievable, what what youve done explain what this is the first solo crossing. So last year i became the very first person in history to cross antarctica solo unsupported, and completely human powered. So i had a 375pound sled behind me. No resupplies of food or fuel or anything like that. So no one could pick me up a thousand mile journey to get to the south pole. And then to the other side no one in history had ever done that i heard in your opening monologue, you did mention that 50 of people dont change their underwear every day. I may have been skewing that up, because i did 54 days in the same pair of underwear to save on weight [ audience groans jimmy and everyone is getting a free pair of his underwater tonight so congratulations, everybody. [ light laughter ] [ applause ] i mean, this is insane i dont even know how you would get enough speed to pull this thing. How does this work 54 days, roughly a thousand miles, 375 pounds. It was very slow going the average temperature was about minus 30 degrees and with the wind blowing, itd get minus 75, minus 80 so it was a long, cold walk. Jimmy it was like that in new york today yeah, it was [ light laughter ] jimmy tonight, youre going to announce your next crazy adventure. Yes jimmy oh, my gosh. What is this called . This is the the next adventure were calling it the impossible row. Get this ive never rowed a boat anywhere in my life. But, me and a team im not alone this time. But a team of six of us. Were going to attempt to be the first people in history to ever row a boat across drake passage. So thats from the southern tip of south america all the way to antarctica its known in seafaring as the most dangerous crossing in the world, where the atlantic, and the pacific, and the southern earths oceans all converge. Like i said, ive never rowed a boat before. But we do have a great captain by the name of fiann paul, whose one of the most experienced ocean rowers in the world. But its kind of applying this mindset to see if i can achieve something that a lot of people have said is impossible. And get it all the way across drake passage, facing, you know, 30, 40foot waves. Icebergs, the whole deal jimmy oh, no [ light laughter ] and actually jimmy, i did say i did say that there was a team of six but i left a spot on the boat open for you so im just saying. [ light laughter ] jimmy absolutely no, please [ applause ] when do you start this and how are you going to train for this so it starts in two weeks i leave its the month of december whats really exciting jimmy colin, what are you doing . [ light laughter ] you have a good attitude, i love that. Well, i just started rowing a boat last week so i figured give myself a a couple of weeks to prepare ive been preparing for a little while but whats really exciting about it is, to me, the live storytelling component so when i was crossing antarctica, i was able to send like one kinda grainy satellite image to my instagram. People could follow it along but this time we have discovery doing a massive production around the entire thing. Weve got the best Satellite Technology so youre actually going to be able to follow this thing live in real time through my social media accounts, you know, instagram colinobrady, discovery theres gonna be content coming out everyday so when youre at home with your family over holidays jimmy yeah you can tune in and see me in a tiny little row boat, bouncing around in 30, 40foot swells [ light laughter ] jimmy i am going to be doing it and youre gonna be very grateful that youre inside and warm jimmy yes, i will. And ill be rooting for you all the way, buddy i have one little thing i wanted to give you and thats since the name of the expedition is the drake passage. Heres a tiny picture of drake [ light laughter ] thats drake [ applause ] he can go anywhere he can go anywhere hes good luck hes good luck im going to take my man drake with me. But, you know, ive got a sat phone out there. Thats how were connecting to discovery and everything but its not hotline bling, its going to be the sat phone bling. [ light laughter ] bringing drake with me the entire time. Jimmy sat phone bling. Break a leg, buddy were so psyched you came on our show thank you jimmy good luck. And well be following you such a pleasure jimmy thank you very much. [ cheers and applause colin obrady. Everybody make sure you follow along as colin attempts to make history again. Well be right back with shin lim, everybody. Stick around [ cheers and applause pokes. Gnocchis. Raviolis. And them smokeys. Curry. Fried turkey. Cacciatori. Chimichurri. Berry. Mcflurry. mcdonalds half stack. Taco pack. Lobster mac. And them baby back baby backs. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. Whats on the board . 100 acts of good. State farm is challenging us, every good act we do goes. On the board. Its on. At state farm, were challenging ourselves to each do 100 acts of good. On the board little one. Im here with state farm employee max, who is saving a beached whale. Max. On the board on the board cheering this man has become an absolute hero. Giving back starts with us. Join us at neighborhoodofgood. Com®. Tothe problem is corporationsfix anything. And the people who run and own them have purchased our democracy. Heres the difference between me and the other candidates. I dont think we can fix our democracy from the inside. I dont believe washington politicians and big corporations will let that happen. The only way we can make change happen is from the outside. For me, this comes down to whether you trust the politicians or the people. And if you say you trust the people, are you willing to stand up to the insiders and the big corporations, and give the people the tools they need to fix our democracy. A national referendum. Term limits. Eliminating corporate money in politics. Making it easy to vote. I trust the people. And as president , i will give you tools we need to fix our democracy. Im tom steyer, and i approve this message. A lot of folks ask me why their dishwasher doesnt get everything clean. I tell them, it may be your detergent. Thats why more dishwasher brands recommend cascade platinum. Its speciallydesigned with the soaking, scrubbing and rinsing built right in. Cascade platinums unique actionpacs dissolve quickly. To remove stuckon food. For sparklingclean dishes, the first time. Choose the detergent that lets your dishwasher do the dishes cascade platinum. The number one recommended brand in north america. Repeat after me. Hi am grateful. Audience i am grateful. I am getting all the gifts this holiday. Hurry in for forty percent off everything. Thats forty percent off everything you get all the gifts now, at old navy. When i think of what my imagination looks like. [laughs] i mean, wow. The surface is a tool that helps me realize beautiful ideas. [ cheers and applause jimmy welcome back, everybody. We are joined right now by an incredible young magician. He is a twotime winner of americas got talent. And now he has his own Las Vegas Residency at the mirage called limitless. Give it up for shin lim [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you. All right, quest, do you mind helping me out . All right. Go ahead take a look at this deck questlove yes. Run though the cards and take one card out of the deck. Questlove okay now, jimmy, ive kind of made my entire career out of 52 playing cards which is kind of crazy if you think about it jimmy 52 i want to take it to the next level instead of using 52 cards, im just going to use one. You got it questlove i got it any card. Okay give it to me, give it to me, the card questlove yes. All right watch, look. All right, cool, cool. We have the card now instead of focusing on the card, i want you to focus just on the corner of the card. What is it queen of spades, okay watch. Focus on the corner. Im gonna you can actually hear the rip happening yeah the top right, ill take it completely off look, jimmy. I want you to just focus on this can you blow on the corner go ahead look, just like that it vanishes completely look, quest, i didnt go anywhere near you, no . Turn around and show your back to the camera. Go ahead, turn around, turn around turn around. Look at the screen up there. Look at the screen up there. [ audience ohs ] and look its a questlove yo actually, quest, i dont want to touch anything take the card, take it, take it take the corner, yeah, yeah. Grab it. Reach over and grab it, yeah questlove this well place the queen over there yeah, yeah questlove okay no, grab the corner did you grab it . Questlove i grabbed it, yeah you grabbed it, you have it questlove yes. Grab the there we go, okay [ light laughter ] i thought you vanished the corner for a second. Look, watch, jimmy ill tell you what hand it like this. Jimmy yeah okay, great were going to place it into your hand. Close your hand up i want you to just focus on that piece i want you to focus as much as possible youre gonna start look, nothing in my hands. Lower your hand, lower your hand watch, youre going to slowly start to feel something interesting. The piece is going to start to slowly somehow disintegrate. Youre going to notice [ audience ohs ] watch. Open up your hand. Jimmy oh, my gosh. Wait, no, no. [ scattered cheers ] not only does the piece vanish, jimmy, look at the queen watch the queen. One, two, three and it reappears over here [ audience ohs ] theyre in different pieces. See, look. Its in different four different pieces jimmy, tell you what [ light laughter ] no, jimmy, youre going to have to help me out on this okay. Jimmy no no, no, no. [ laughter ] youre gonna have to help me jimmy im going to run away im gonna run away im gonna run away the tricks not done yet. The tricks not done yet on the count of three. Youre going to help me count to three okay, ready . Watch. One, two jimmy one, two no, no, no. Jimmy sorry, ill start with one, ready . Okay, ready together one, two, three and look, they reappear right over here. But, jimmy, look its still missing a corner. Its still missing a corner. Right . Jimmy yes. Tell you what, your tie can you take your tie . Flip up your tie take out your tie. And flip it over [ audience ohs ] jimmy how did you do that . Oh, my gosh. This guy is unbelievable whoa [ audience ohs ] nothing on the back, nothing on the front jimmy, here you go [ cheers and applause Merry Christmas, man thank you for having me. Jimmy shin lim [ cheers and applause for tickets to limitless go to shinlimmagic. Com. More tonight show after the break. Stick around, everybody. What . [ cheers and applause ok, network inspection. Ok. Connected to wifi, protected from threats. Thermostat connected, protected. Speaker, space vacuum. [ whispering ] connected, protected. Shh. Eh, this is not connected or protected. But, thats a family heirloom. And, its a family security breach. Its gotta go. With xfinity xfi, if its connected, its protected. Pull the truck around. Simple. Easy. Awesome. Get more out of your inhome wifi experience with xfinity internet and ask about enhanced Network Security for all your connected devices. Click, call or visit a store today. We all have things we love and long for. A place, a feeling, a moment. But only kerrygold can take you there. To irelands lush, green pastures. Where grassfed cows produce rich, creamy milk for the most delicious taste imaginable. Thats no ordinary cheese. No. Its kerrygold. Kerrygold. The taste that takes you there. [ cheers and applause jimmy my thanks to celine dion, tig notaro, colin obrady. Shin lim, once again [ cheers and applause and the roots, right there, from philadelphia, pennsylvania [ cheers and applause stay tuned for late night with seth meyers. Thank you for watching have a great weekend hope to see you next week. Byebye, everybody [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause announcer from 30 Rockefeller Plaza in new york, its late night with seth meyers. Tonight emma thompson, from snl, actor and comedian alex moffat, from slave play, playwright jeremy o. Harris featuring the 8g band with emily moon [ cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. How is everybody doing tonight [ cheers and applause that is great to hear. In that case, lets get to the news