Comedian, matt rogers. A performance from titanique featuring the 8g band with bryan carter [ cheers and applause and now, Seth Meyers Seth good evening. Im seth meyers. This is late night. We hope youre doing well. And now if you dont mind, were going to get to the news during yesterdays annual white house turkey pardoning, President Biden joked that the only red wave this season would be if his dog knocked over the cranberry sauce. [ laughter ] oof. Its too bad his dog didnt have the presence of mind to knock over the microphone. [ laughter ] a cranberry sauce red wave it would be the slowest wave ever during yesterdays event, President Biden said it was important to remember the true meaning of thanksgiving, getting high with your weird cousins when things get too tense inside [ laughter ] President Biden is reportedly planning to use the month between thanksgiving and christmas to make a decision about running in 2024. Well, whatever you think of him, its impressive that an 80yearold man is planning that far ahead. [ laughter ] if i was 80, i dont think hed even start bingeing a show that had more than one season [ laughter ] make sure it was a british show. [ laughter ] in a new interview, congressmanelect maxwell frost, said despite being 80 years old, President Biden can adequately represent gen z because biden also knows what its like to live in a house youll never own. [ laughter ] dr. Anthony fauci today gave what is likely his last Coronavirus Briefing before retiring at the end of the year. You can tell hes kind of given up because he gave the briefing from a rave. [ laughter ] according to the latest numbers, home heating costs are expected to increase this year by nearly 30 . And now that youre all caught up with dad, mom would like to say hi [ laughter ] in a new interview, Harrison Ford says in the upcoming installment of the Indiana Jones franchise, he will be digitally altered to appear younger, because its not like that earring was doing the trick. [ laughter ] new york city is auctioning off gifts that were given to former mayors, including a new york yankees clock given to former mayor rudy giuliani. He doesnt need it anymore because its always 5 00 somewhere [ laughter ] a man in missouri recently pleaded guilty to robbing a bank last year by writing a demand note on the back of his own birth certificate while wearing an ankle monitor for a prior offense. Wow, that case should only take Merrick Garland about a year [ laughter ] Rapper Snoop Dogg recently launched a pet accessory line called snoop doggy doggs, which includes plush toys, bowls, and leashes. Even crazier, he hadnt done that already [ laughter ] according to a new survey, 11 of americans said that they find the sound of a babys laugh relaxing while the other 89 said, oh, dammit, the babys awake. [ laughter ] laugh it up, you [ bleep ]. Oh, you dont have work tomorrow . And finally, the gas station chain sheetz launched a promotion this week to lower the price of a gallon of gasoline to just under 2. Of course, you gotta buy a hot dog too. [ laughter ] math joke. That was the monologue [ cheers and applause you guys, we got a great show for you tonight. You know him from eternals, the big sick, and silicon valley. His new show, welcome to chippendales, is out now Kumail Nanjiani is back on the show [ cheers and applause and hes a very funny comedian you know from fire island, i love that for you, and his podcast Las Culturistas. Matt rogers will also be joining us [ cheers and applause and later on tonight, were going to have a performance from titanique, now playing at the Daryl Roth Theater in union square but before we get to all that, if i may, there is something thats been bothering me that i need to get off my chest i was on a stroll with an alist celebrity friend the other day, and he was expressing his concern over the ever expanding world of Artificial Intelligence in our society he was complaining that soon all art will be computergenerated, all cars will be selfdriving, and youll never be able to tell if a video is a deep fake. And im sorry, but i have to say this weve got to stop the damn robots at this point in the broadcast, seth launched into an obscenityladen rant about how Artificial Intelligence is going to destroy the World Network policy prevents us from broadcasting his comments, but due to a technical issue, we were forced to air this portion of the show. In short, seth believes that Artificial Intelligence is going to destroy our way of life he seethed about deep Fake Technology and confessed he believes his cue card guy, wally, has actually been a deep fake for quite some time wally was not a deep fake, of course wally was taking a vacation, and in his place left a cardboard cutout of himself holding a cue card that says you look sexy, bitch. [ laughter ] seths vanity prevented him from pressing the issue any further seth then spoke about how far a. I. Has come already and said, watch this alexa, make me a dry martini with two olives. At this point, seths stage manager, tom, angrily walked onstage, placed a glass of gin down on the gas, opened a jar of olives, and dumped the whole thing into the glass what happened to alexa, said seth you never plugged it in or took it out of the box, said tom seth then took a big gulp of his drink and said, nevertheless, the future is wild. Seth then all of a sudden appeared very anxious and scared and confessed he is afraid of the singularity of the hypothetical point in the future when technological growth will outpace humans ability to control it and technology will enslave humanity he then shouted, psych. And laughed about how hell be on mars with elon while the rest of you idiots become man cattle for the robo lords at this point, seth just started doing the robot with no explanation. So did baze, his head writer so did jim, his Security Guard so did eric, donna, meg, and susan from Wardrobe Department and so did eli, but eli did it so poorly that it made everyone stop and get sad seth then confessed that if there was one kind of robot he would be into, it would be one of those chessplaying robots. Saying, brains and brawn, thats my kind of fella. And adding, if it can move chess pieces, imagine what else it can move. He then looked around expectantly at his staff hoping that somebody knew he was talking about his penis, but nobody would look him in the eye. Not baze, his head writer. Not jim, his Security Guard. Not eric, donna, meg, or susan from Wardrobe Department not even eli he then looked to his cameraman, buck, who had a big grin on his face buck knows what im talking about, he said, relieved. But buck didnt know what he was talking about because buck was dead an autopsy would later reveal that a fungal parasite had eaten bucks brain over a week ago, leaving his preserved corpse standing in place next to his camera and nobody noticed because this is just what buck always looked like and if you must know how this situation all played out, a janitor cleaning up after the show heard a terrible sound, turned around, and witnessed bucks entire liquefied insides fall out of his anus in one big sack of goo. So, yeah, pretty nuts. The description of bucks death was too much for one old woman in the audience, who then got up to leave unfortunately, she exited the wrong way, which took, like, forever. [ laughter ] [ applause ] [ applause ] finally, seth suggested that if we all had selfdriving cars, he could run over a cyclist, and not get in trouble for it because it was the cars fault, and you cant put a car in jail. He then asked, what would that even look like, a car jail i bet it would look Something Like this. Seth then pulled out a hyperdetailed, very elaborate illustration of what it would look like inside the walls of a car jail there were car gangs, car prison guards, and even a car gym, where cars lifted car weights, which looked different from human weights. There were so many details, in fact, that one would have to pause the show to see them all seth then screamed, and, yeah, waldos in there too [ bleep ] sue me if you care so much. Nbc would like to ask viewers to disregard seths opinions about Artificial Intelligence as they do not reflect the Networks Position and do not make any sense. We now resume our broadcast. [ cheers and applause seth and if you dont like it, you can go live in the woods. Whoo that felt so good to get off my chest. Well be right back with Kumail Nanjiani. [ cheers and applause dad we got our Subaru Forester wilderness to discover all of the places that make us feel something more. vo subaru is the National Park foundations largest corporate donor, helping expand access for all. [sfx oven ding] we make sitdown chicken. Standup chicken. Backyard chicken. Oops chicken. And allsmiles chicken. If theres one thing we know, its chicken, chicken and chicken. More choices. More wow. [sfx oven ding] more to love. Tyson. Not flossing well . Then add the whoa of listerine to your routine. New science shows listerine is 5x more effective than floss at reducing plaque above the gumline. 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[ cheers and applause seth give it up for the fantastic 8g band, everybody back with us tonight on drums, hes a vocalist and composer who founded jazz at pride, an organization focused on bringing equality and inclusivity to bandstands and classrooms worldwide. Currently hes coorchestrating some like it hot, a new Broadway Musical opening december 11th at the schubert theater, cowritten by late nights own amber ruffin bryan carter is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause thank you for being here, bryan. Thanks for having me, seth. Seth our first guest tonight is an academyaward nominated writer and emmynominated actor you know from his work in eternals, the big sick, and silicon valley. He stars in welcome to chippendales, which is streaming now on hulu, with additional episodes premiering weekly on tuesdays lets take a look. Is this your place . Oh, this . Yeah im the owner. Wow are you having a good time . Just not my kind of place no offense not my kind of place either seth please welcome back to the show, our friend Kumail Nanjiani [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. Thank you seth how are you im great how are you . Seth im good. How are you doing in the prep, the runup to thanksgiving its a big week for a lot of people it is a big week. Were actually in the air on thanksgiving day seth oh, youre going to fly. Im going to fly home, yeah, because it was either flying wednesday, and thats supposed to be very bad, right. Seth yeah. Could be a ghost town on thursday, right . I hope so seth yeah, that would be exciting thats why im excited, yeah. But usually we do stuff for, you know well do stuff for thanksgiving my parents get really into thanksgiving now seth really . They do and theyre like, you know, we have to put a lot of masala on the turkey because we dont like how it tastes. [ laughter ] im like, you dont have to eat turkey. Theyre like, its thanksgiving. Im like, you just got here eat what you like. But they love it they got really into it. I im not like a oh, people are going to get upset. I i think turkey is not, like, greattasting. Seth yeah, i think youre right. [ cheers and applause oh, my god. Really seth yeah. Yeah, i think like the cats out of the bag on turkey is that okay . Seth i think its fine if it was good, wed do it other times of the year. [ laughter ] thats right. If theres anything you eat once a year, its probably not that good seth yeah, exactly but i remember, you know, i like tweeted years ago, i was like, lets face it. Turkeys not that good and people were like, go back to your country. [ laughter ] it was very intense. I was like, okay i wont. Ill sit on my opinions about turkey ill wait a few years. If mattel wins, now its good again. Seth yeah, its good again its like everythings different in Bidens America youre allowed to say what you want about finally seth you can finally say what you want about, like, poultry again. Yeah. No, im good with chicken, you know i love chicken its just turkey tastes like chicken seth sorry we have one enthusiastic chicken fan. Love chicken. Seth yeah. [ cheers and applause they misread the room and thought there would be a standing ovation yeah, for chicken seth chicken oh, just me. Just me. Okay. They just have a big chickfila bag. I feel like turkey tastes like chicken having a bad day seth yeah. Although, you know, anything youre eating probably had a bad day. Seth yeah. Its like a chicken thats true. [ laughter ] very recently its like, you know, when you eat steak, this is like if a cow was like, oh, no. Seth yeah. I know, its true. Turkeys never i think its safe to say turkeys dont celebrate thanksgiving no. Seth or ever talk about what theyre thankful for on that day. No. Except this time did you see biden seth pardoned a couple, yeah two seth yeah. Called chocolate and chip, which i think is very humiliating. Seth yeah. Dont name turkeys after bettertasting food. [ laughter ] seth thats true like undeniably chocolate chips are better than turkey im like, oh, yeah seth do you think that when this is my hyundai. Its called lamborghini is the name of it [ laughter ] seth i think, though i feel like if your turkeys i would just argue what you should want to be is named have a nice pairing name with another turkey that way if theres a pardoning situation yeah. Seth you cant be in the situation im sure if biden was like, its either chocolate or chip, biden would be like we got to give them both. Seth yeah. Thats right. Like if theres a turkey named abbott, im like, im going to be costello because i think were going to seth that way we might both get out of here. That was the only twosome i could think of seth abbott and costello yeah. Seth yeah, well, youre real gen z. [ laughter ] so, this this is a true story about the founder of chippendales, Steve Banerjee did you know anything about i mean, i knew the basics about chippendales which is what seth male dancing review, male strippers yes seth and i mean i think thats what most people know i dont know why it got weird in here yeah. I mean thats what thats what i knew about it but it turns out theres even juicier your stuff behind the scenes than men stripping which whoo seth yeah. [ laughter ] theres murder. You just whooed for murder seth yeah. [ laughter ] its the same chicken person. Seth yeah, the chicken persons having a bad night. The chicken person is like, im going to win him back. Im going to cheer for something and win him back its not going to be chicken or murder very antimurder crowd yeah, so the real guy who started chippendales, i didnt know, was this indian immigrant who was like very nerdy and awkward. And behind the scenes story of it is wild, dude like people got murdered he was setting fire. So, people who stole the idea of men stripping, and hes like, thats my idea so, he started, like, setting fire to other, like, male strip clubs. Seth its a really funny thing to sort of consider intellectual property, the idea that you invented male stripping. Yeah, exactly yeah like in front of an audience, if a guy takes his clothes off, thats my idea otherwise, im going to burn you. [ laughter ] its but its wild. He started off, you know he started a Backgammon Club first because he was like, theres no [ laughter ] seth now were just encouraging them yeah, we are. Well, if its the same chicken and murder person seth yeah. Whoever that is has the weirdest yelp history [ laughter ] in new york looking for chicken, backgammon, and male stripping [ cheers ] i thought you said yelp as in because they were yelping actually seth oh. But you meant like seth i backed myself into a classic two meanings [ laughter ] classic double entendre he started a Backgammon Club because he was like, backgammons a great game that i love, and there are no Backgammon Clubs in l. A. , so theres a whole market for it, right . And obviously, it didnt work. He called it destiny 2, because he was like seth the name of the backgammon place the name of the backgammon place was destiny 2. There was no destiny 1, but he was like he was like, its a sequel so people will think, oh, the first one was so successful, i had to open destiny 2. There was no destiny 1, and obviously, that didnt go well and then he got the idea for men stripping in front of women, and then it became a huge hit. Seth and so, the name chippendales, as well, which again, the first time i heard chippendales was the dancers and then i realized it was a furniture like a Famous Furniture designer but he did name it after that, yes . Yeah, thomas chippendale. Seth yeah. Thomas chippendale was a renowned 18th century cabinet maker, and like royalty would have his cabinets in their house. And this guy, Steve Banerjee, was like he wanted to be like classy, you know and he was like men stripping for women isnt inherently classy, not that its not, but its not classy. So, he was like, if i name it something super classy, it will trick people seth yeah. Like you know how people line up to go see, like, fancy furniture at night [ laughter ] like, ooh, bachelorette party. Lets go see some furniture, you know so, we had some good wood on the show [ laughter ] seth thats your yelp. Thats your yelp [ cheers and applause i have a bunch more questions. Lets let them lets let them, you know, simmer in that reset yourself. Seth well be right back with more from Kumail Nanjiani [ cheers and applause nissan has a car for everyone. engine revving every driver who wants more. 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Worsening depression, including suicidal thoughts, may occur. Most common side effects are headaches and sleepiness. Its quviviq. Ask your doctor if its right for you. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back to late night. We are here with Kumail Nanjiani. So, last time we spoke, you were promoting the eternals. You got in superhero shape to enter the marvel cinematic universe this was a very different weight change for this show to prepare for Steve Banerjee im the only one on the show who stays completely clothed the entire time. [ light laughter ] and it was a joy it was so good even my one sex scene, i have my shirt on [ light laughter ] very mixed seth very mixed. Like what are they saying . Yeah. Are they whooing for the sex scene or the fact i kept my shirt on seth whoo, we dont have to see all of it. Whoo, its implied. Whoo, ill imagine it. Seth but you did, though, we could even see from the clip you obviously had your cast of actors who played male dancers in the show. Obviously theyre stripping down, and you had to do many dance scenes over the course of filming it yeah. How were those to do you know what was great about those . So we had like fabulous actors who are also broadway trained dancers who are the dancers on the show and, you know, when you sort of do when youre recording it, so we had like background artists. Like, you know, 100 in the room. And theyre all women because men were not allowed in to see the show back then and because when youre recording, you dont want the sound to disrupt whatever dialogue is happening. So we would tell the audience to, like, mime the reaction. So theyd be just like, doing that but every time they yelled cut, they would like explode every single time. [ light laughter ] they were like, yeah [ light laughter ] day after day, week after week, the same audience. Anytime somebody like ripped off their pants. Youd here like, ah like a gasp every time [ light laughter ] like you know whats under there. You saw it five minutes ago. [ light laughter ] there was one, you know, there was one part where one woman, one background artist, has to rip off one of the stripper guys pants. And she turned into an animal every time [ light laughter ] every time she was like, aagh and wed yell cut, and shed come to, like, okay, whatd i miss what happened . [ light laughter ] when do we shoot weve done 30 takes. [ light laughter ] youve been great every time she turned into an animal, it was great. And you see, like, oh, this is why chippendales was such a success. Seth yeah. Because it created the space where women could, in public, show a part of themselves that they werent allowed to until then seth yeah. He was ahead of his time in a real genuine way it really was it was really exciting, you know energy was up every, every, every time seth you, uh we were talking backstage. You were a producer on this as well um, you know, so many more responsibilities as, you know, youve been a writer before. Obviously youve been an actor before did you enjoy the producer side . It is so good to be involved with all parts of it, but then you kind of dont have an excuse you know what i mean seth yeah. Because ive acted in movies and i watch it, and im like, oh, no, why did they [ light laughter ] you know what im talking about. Go look at my imdb, all the green splats all the green splats thats their fault [ light laughter ] this one, if its a green splat seth yeah, thats all over yeah thats your fault. Yeah, cause youre always like, why did they use that take why did they do this, da, da, da but here, but i love the editing part of it the most because you dont have to get up early in the morning. And you can just like, fix everything seth yeah, right i mean, i think certainly in comedy when you so often, by the time youve said it, its already too late it must be nice to actually get in and be granular with it yes and sometimes with comedy, ah, youre shooting a scene. You know, youre doing a scene of comedy, and you shoot it like 20, 30 times by the end, its not funny at all, and youre like, i dont think this is funny anymore. Then when you watch it, you can really be like, oh, no, it was funny the whole time we had just gotten, like, sick of it. Seth yeah. Like if i made another, you know, ents joke. Seth it wouldnt go as well. It wouldnt go as well as the first time it crushed. [ light laughter ] also i realized we did that in break. Seth yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is seth im really heartbroken for our at home audience during the break, kumail did a really funny joke about the tree people from lord of the rings. [ light laughter ] seth i mean theres no way to prove it. [ cheers and applause seth they remember that was not the reaction the first time seth no. [ light laughter ] seth this is maybe i mean so much went, so you made lets just track what happened you made an ents joke that nobody laughed at. Then you called it back, realizing that the people who were watching at home didnt see it bomb in the first place thats right. Seth so you somehow did a worse version of a joke that got no laughs the first time yes i did a callback to a bomb joke. [ light laughter ] and you know what . Kind of killed with it [ cheers and applause what is that what is that about seth yeah. How did that happen . Seth i mean that is the way youre doing comedy these days is so interesting yeah. I just do callbacks. I dont do the first one [ light laughter ] who has time for the first punchline . Seth yeah. Everybody likes the callbacks more than the first thats true seth yeah. Yeah, i go right to the third tag. Seth this is very much like, why dont they make the whole plane out of the black box [ light laughter ] except for like way less relatable. Seth yeah. I think this might be just for me and maybe you im not sure seth this part that were doing right now . Yeah. Seth i think mostly you. [ light laughter ] seth i take it back. Im enjoying it too. You explained a callback to a joke that we had to explain before we did the joke seth yeah. Every part of this, i feel like, is special and i dont feel like you can get it anywhere else, you know yeah. I dont know why seth youre not, you will you please do a special called just callbacks . Its just the callbacks seth yeah. Thats actually a great idea [ light laughter ] im just like referencing things that i never referenced in the first place. Seth yeah, but like really confidently, like its going to land yeah, right or like doing a catch phrase that ive never done before. Seth yeah. But just like landing it like its a catch phrase. Like now thats what the thing is. [ light laughter ] is that a good catch phrase . Seth i bet you could get away with it thats what the thing is . Seth thats what the thing is maybe workshop that part [ light laughter ] no, that part is my catch phrase seth what . That part seth you know what you should call it that part 2. Thats right. [ cheers and applause thats right thats what it is. Thats the callback. Seth thank you for being here congratulations on the show. Its really cool, and its great to see you [ cheers and applause Kumail Nanjiani, everybody welcome to chippendales is streaming now on hulu. Well be right back with matt rogers. [ cheers and applause my name is jorge gaviria, and this is my business, masienda. We bring heirloom Corn Products from mexico to every kitchen. I chose my spark cash plus card from capital one because i earn unlimited 2 cash back on everything i buy. With no preset spending limit, my purchasing power adapts to meet my business needs. And i reinvest my 2 cash back to help grow our business with new products, like our tabletop masa mill. My spark card helps me fulfill my mission of bringing masa to the masses. Whats in your wallet . 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With new scope squeez mouthwash concentrate, just add water, squeeze to control the strength of your mouthwash. And find a zone. All your own. Scope squeez. [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is a very talented comedian and actor you know from the film fire island, the showtime series i love that for you, and the hit podcast las cultureistas. His comedy special, matt rogers, have you heard of christmas, premieres december 2nd on showtime lets take a look. Santa and jesus they were best best friends they knew each othe way back in colleg in bethlehem they knew each othe like ooh, ooh, ooh they were lik ooh, ooh, ooh seth please welcome to the show matt rogers, everybody. [ cheers and applause seth wow im so happy youre here im very happy to be here seth firsttime guest on the show not your first time in the studio that is correct i sat right about in the middle over there we share a love of the Singer Kelly Clarkson seth we do we do. [ cheers and applause yeah, we have some fans and i did get a friend to, like, score me tickets to your show one time when she was on seth uhhuh. It was her meaning of life album tour i came i sat right over there and you go out into the audience and do like a little q a seth i do, yeah. So, i thought id be real funny. And i was like i asked a question, and it was this question hey, seth, team justin or team kelly . And you were like, kelly. [ laughter ] and sort of moved on so that was the way i met seth meyers, which wasnt necessarily how i wanted it to go this is much seth lets treat this like our first. Well, i did used to say on my podcast a bunch, las cultureistas with bowen yang, that you would be a dream person to bring home to your parents. Seth oh, thats very nice of you to say i always felt that way about you. Like, if you brought him home to meet the parents, its seth meyers. You know what i mean and then you sort of crushed it. [ laughter ] seth give me a chance. I think i will if i ever meet your parents, they will be very impressed. Exactly exactly. Seth so, you have this christmas special. Its true seth and you actually we were talking through the commercial break about the Rockefeller Center christmas tree, which is right yeah. Seth you have a song about the tree yeah. Well, so some background on me is i needed to sort of take back Rockefeller Center because i had a a screen test for saturday night live that went sort of one way for bowen yang and another way for me seth mmhmm. So then, it kind of made me sad to come here so, i was like, im going to write a song about Rockefeller Center that like takes the power back and so, i wrote a song thats sort of about what happens when you come here, and its like, okay you know what i mean its like, theres the tree. Seth yeah. We see it its definitely big. Seth yeah. You know, if youre a size queen, like, we love the tree. [ laughter ] but then its kind of just a tree seth yeah. Then you go to a restaurant, and you have a burger. Its definitely a burger seth yeah. Costs 45 bucks. But so, it was nice of me to sort of drag Rockefeller Center so that i can come back here seth take the power back yes seth take the power back [ cheers and applause you mentioned you mentioned king mariah carey, of course, the queen of christmas yes good segue seth you actually thank you. You reached out to her i did seth with the hopes that she would anoint you basically, my special, have you heard of christmas is sort of me trying to join her in the pantheon of christmas royalty. Seth of course, yeah so, shes the queen of christmas as we know, trademark be damned or not like, she didnt get that trademarked, but thats who she is seth yeah. So, im trying to become the prince of christmas. And i thought, like, lets write her a letter, try to get the blessing maybe shell let me sing one of her songs. She did not read it. Seth okay. I did not hear back from her. But i hope that if shes watching, she does read it because theres a good story in there, which is when i was in third grade, i became very obsessed with her butterfly album. Seth okay. So, this is like if any members of the lambily are here, which is the mariah carey Fan Community okay. Maybe not. You know that the butterfly album is sort of like when she discovered her sexuality seth mmhmm. And theres a song, its track four on butterfly. Its called the roof, and its basically about her getting sort of like intimate with derek jeter on a roof. Seth oh, wow [ cheers ] and the rain is slowly falling, and its a very sexy song and i memorized that song, and during reading free time in third grade, i just wrote out the lyrics to that song. And its really its not for a third grader seth yeah. And then my teacher was like, please hand in your journals. And so, i sort of, i guess, go into like a fugue state and hand in my journal. And a few days later, i guess she wasnt in the lambily like you guys and she was like, matthew, your stories are so vivid [ laughter ] you are beyond your years. Because i had basically said everything that could happen with derek jeter on a roof besides derek jeter like nailed me on a roof [ laughter ] which would have been interesting for my parents to hear about it. Seth i love i love youre mets fans. Seth yeah. Still are seth you reveal a little biographical details about mrs. Claus in your special yeah. Seth and i feel like not a lot of people have made an effort to tell her story they have not seth i thought that was so noble of you thank you for saying that and she has been shes been lost to time you know, shes this character that we celebrate and, you know, were trying to draw out, like, who this female character of christmas is and people dont know. They know shes mrs. Claus, but they dont know shes actually kristen. Seth okay. Oh, thats her first name. Kristen giordano. Seth really . Yeah. She came from syosset, new york. Yes. And basically, i wrote a song in my special, which is sort of its very much like a Kelly Clarkson revenge ballad about what happens when she finally got a calculator and crunched the numbers, and theres no way her husband is seeing every home in 24 hours. Seth yeah. So where have you been . Seth right, exactly. We talk about in Las Culturistas with bowen, can you talk about where christmas ends . Theres sort of three stages of pop stardom. Okay, right so basically, like in this special, have you heard of christmas . This is me in my pop star era doing christmas seth okay. So, every pop star has like a christmas era, we all know they have two other eras theres circus, where a pop star is sort of in a circus seth okay. Theres im angry about surveillance and cameras. Seth oh, i see where because of a result of the success of the circus era. Seth yeah. The pop star then has to go put the cameras away, like very [ laughter ] seth seems very unfair for someone who was just in a circus exactly seth you cant be angry if people are looking at you. But thats sort of the narrative. Its like, i wanted it now i dont want it. And then when you calm down, you do your christmas era, which is and of course, every pop star really genuinely loves christmas, and theyre not just trying to make money off the holiday. Seth of course they all naturally come to their first love exactly everyone, like, is dropped in. They know what they really want to do is celebrate christmas every year and its not about money its not about money [ laughter ] seth so, you saw titanique, which were going to do next you saw the show and loved the show, and youre actually going to help out with the introduction i am. This is you guys are in for a real treat titanique is the best live theater you can see in new york right now. [ cheers and applause and im really excited just a cameo, id say. Seth just a cameo. And one last thing, that is very exciting you are also on celebrity jeopardy. Yeah, jeopardy for babies. Seth okay. Jeopardy for babies yeah. Seth is it really . How much easier would you say the questions are . Its like wheres america on a map . Its literally like, is the ocean blue or red . And then you have to like the hard part is the buzzer because we all know the oceans red. Seth yeah. Its just about being able to buzz in quickly. Seth right ive heard from people youve got to time it just right. Heres the thing. Its like a thick buzzer with a thick button and so, if youre like you cant negotiate your hand. Like this is me trying to do it. Seth yeah. So, did you win . I came in second place. John michael higgins, i concede to you and i crushed aisha tyler. She didnt stand a chance. Seth well, thats very nice. Second place is quite impressive exactly seth thank you for being here thank you for sticking around. Matt rogers, have you heard of christmas . Premieres december 2nd on showtime well be right back with a performance from the cast and musicians of titanique with special guest matt rogers. [ cheers and applause im a bear. Im coming out of hibernation after the best nap of my life. And papa is hungry. And while youre hittin the trail, im hitting your cooler. Oh, cheddar ive got hot dog buns and your cutrate Car Insurance might not pay for all this. So get allstate, and be better protected from mayhem, like me. Roar. sfx family screams in background comfort. Deluxified. Kraft mac cheese deluxe dont worry, it happens to the best of us. Surgeons. Judges. Even bowlers. Try new pringles harvest blends. Alex lets get to work. Dramatic music someones in the system. Its a cyberattack. We have to do something. Let all the secrets come out i am offering you a lifeline. 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[ cheers and applause seth inspired by the oscarwinning film titanic, the hit musical comedy titanique is a wild retelling of what actually happened to jack and rose, according to a narrator whose music is synonymous with the film here to perform a medley of her charttopping hits and shed light on the truth of that fateful night, please welcome Marla Mindelle as celine dion, and the cast and musicians from titanique. [ cheers and applause well, that concludes our tour of the titanic museum. Does anyone have any questions i have a question [ cheers and applause celine dion what are you doing in this museum on a tuesday . Bon jour, everybody it is me, celine dion, and if i may tell everybody here about my journey on titanique hit it but celine, you just sang the theme song to the movie. You werent actually on the titanic. Or was i . Okay, but that would make you at least 150 years old and youre confused because well, people dont live that long or do they . Okay, celine. Well, if you were actually on the titanic, what actually happened there its been 84 years, and i can still smell the fresh paint. China had never been used. The sheets had never been slept in titanique was called, the ship of dreams. And it was it really was. Lets see what else do i remember there was a dreamer named jack and his italian sidekick who looked like luigi from mario kart. Come on, luigi lets play a hand of poker and get a ticket to that ship. Its aluigi time both dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah and who could forget twotime Academy Awardwinner kathy bates . Unsinkable molly brown. Unbreakable kimmy schmidt thats what i said there was Victor Garber from the hit tv show alias. Oh, dont forget kung fu panda 2. That is my Favorite Movie highfive, girlfriend. And there was Victor Garbers trusted assistant, the seaman. Everybody loves seamen not lesbians. They dont there was the sweet ingenue, Rose Dewitt Bukater and her fiance cal you know what they say, the bigger the ship, the bigger the deck. Uphigh. Its a joke. You are not very funny. Cal, youre hilarious and there was roses mother, ruth another gorgeous day to be a rich, skinny monster well, what do you say, girlfriends. Shall we go for it all aboard whaddya say whaddya sa whaddya say im the king of the world my heart was beaten dow but i always come back for more yeah yeah theres nothing like love to pull you up when youre lying dow on the floor yeah so talk to me talk to me like lovers do yeah walk with me walk with me like lovers d like lovers do gah gah gah what do you say to taking chances what do you say t jumping off the edge never knowing if theres soli ground below or hand to hold or hell to pay what do you say [ cheers and applause what do you say and then, i started to sing, from the bottom of my perfect heart. Youre here theres nothing i fear and i kno know that my heart wil go on well sta forever this way you are saf safe in my heart and my heart will go on and on [ cheers and applause you are my friends. You are my best friends in the whole world. And i love you so much ooooooh thank you, goodnight [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to Kumail Nanjiani, matt rogers the cast and musicians from titanique, everybody for more information and tickets, please visit titaniquemusical. Com of course, i want to thank