Joe. Then they brought you g. I. Joe with kung fu grip. Now get ready for hasbros newest g. I. Joe character, cadet bonespurs. Awesome. He loved to charge bravely into battle. Its just that he has this thing with his heel which causes occasional minor foot pain. We must crush the enemy. Right, lets go get the bad guys. You go ahead. I have to ice my shins. Cadet bonespurs it will be the greatest fun you ever had playing soldier, or in his case avoiding playing soldier to date models. The rebel forces are attacking. Help us, cadet bonespurs. I would, but my socks are tight, you know, with the swelling and all. So pick up your g. I. Joe cadet bonespurs today, now with tiny kung fu grip. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, trump dodges mueller. Plus, stephen welcomes wanda sykes Thomas Haden Church and june diane raphael. Plus the soul rebels, sitting in with jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey stephen thank you, everybody. Thank you very much, youre too kind. Youre too nice too nice. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Big news cheers and applause big, big news out of the russia investigation. According to sources at the white house, Donald Trumps lawyers are telling him to refuse an interview with Robert Mueller because the president , who has a history of making false statements and contradicting himself, could be charged with lying to investigators. laughter yeah. It is a crack legal analysis from the law firm of no, bleep , and sherlock. cheers and applause fine. Theyre a fine firm. Fine brown shoe firm. Now, there is one trump lawyer saying the president should cooperate with mueller, and thats trump attorney and man bitten by a radioactive wilford brimley, ty cobb. Cobb has argued that the white house should do Everything Possible to cooperate with mr. Muellers investigation, and says the white house is in total cooperation mode. Yes total cooperation. Trumps cooperating because he wants muellers investigation to be over swiftly. Oh, and theres one other thing he wants from mueller i want him dead i want his family dead i want his house burned to the ground i wanna go there in the middle of the night stephen now, i know trump watches this show, because its on tv. laughter so right now, ive got a special message for him. Mr. President , ignore your lawyers. You follow your instincts and you sit down with Robert Mueller. Otherwise, everyones going to think youre scared, but we know youre not. Oh, oh, your Fried Chicken has arrived. Oh, wait, its empty. Where is that . Oh, i think i know where the chicken is. Bawk, bawk, bawk. Bawk, bawk, bawk. cheers and applause hell do it. Hell do it. Of course, Robert Mueller is not trumps only problem. A lot of people have called donald trump a racist, but only because of what he says and does. laughter the charge has upset president ial son and man who k. Y. s his scalp, donald trump jr. laughter so this weekend, don jr. Took on these charges of racism. Its been terrible to watch because ive see i know him. Ive seen him my whole life. Ive seen the things hes done. You know, its amazing. All the rappers, all the this. laughter stephen all the this . Thats as much as you know about black people . In black history month, we celebrate all the achievements of African Americans from all the rappers to all the this. He went on all his African American friends, from Jesse Jackson to al sharpton you know, i have pictures with them their whole life. We say hi, always been friends. Stephen classic defense, how could i be racist . I have pictures with black people. And its true. Donald trump has a lot of pictures with close personal friends like rappers, Jesse Jackson, al sharpton, and his buddy o. J. Simpson. And don jr. Knows why people are suddenly calling his dad a racist. It was only till he got into politics that all of a sudden, oh, hes the most terrible human being in the world. I dont know. He wasnt so terrible a couple of years ago when you were at his events. He wasnt so terrible then when you were hitting him up for Charity Dollars and hes sponsoring things and sponsoring scholarships and doing x, y, z for you guys. Stephen yes, how dare you call trump racist after he gave you guys things and x,y,z . laughter its all part of his charity Donald Trumps things and x,y,z for the rappers and the this. cheers and applause you know their slogan, we have pictures with black people. Jon, that is absolutely outrageous. What an outrageous claim. Good to see you, man. Jon good to see you. cheers and applause stephen now, were still dealing with the fallout of the infamous republican memo written by House Intelligence Committee chair and man wondering, what the hell is that smell on my knuckles . Devin nunes. Republicans hyped this dud for weeks, and the central argument of the memo is that the f. B. I. Was biased when they got a warrant to wiretap former trump adviser carter page, seen here on the way to his own baby pictures. Adorable. So adorable. Nunes says they relied exclusively on the steele dossier and never disclosed to the judge that the dossier was paid for by trumps political opponents. Now, if true, thats a pretty damning charge. Spoiler alert not true. Turns out, the partisan nature of the dossier was mentioned in a footnote. Now, nunes should learn how footnotes work. Hes about to become one in history. Jon ooooh applause stephen friends of his. Some friends of nunes here tonight. But who reads footnotes. Except the secret judges in the fisa court, you numbnuts. Nunes tried to downplay the footnote on fox friends. So a footnote saying that something might be political is a far cry from letting the American People know that the democrats in the Hillary Campaign paid for dirt that the f. B. I. Then used to get a warrant on an american citizen to spy on another campaign. Stephen yes, the proper way to get dirt on another campaign is from the russians. I mean, just because a footnote completely destroys your entire argument, that doesnt mean you shouldnt keep making the argument. I totally agree with you. Footnote cheers and applause he doesnt read footnotes, right . He doesnt read jon he dont read. Stephen he doesnt read footnotes. Okay. And theres another flaw in this memo. Because while it claims the investigation into carter page was politically motivated, it also mentions a totally unrelated investigation into the russian ties of former trump aide and guy asking the stripper her real name, george papadopoulous. And regarding papadopolous, nunes had a strange claim. As far as we can tell, papadopoulos never knew who trump was, never met with the president. Stephen yes papadopoulos never met with trump. Unless, of course, you count this picture of him meeting with donald trump. But that photo that photo look, lets be honest. It looks bad. But that photo doesnt prove trump knows him. Its not like its a picture of trump and a black guy. Jon oh stephen it doesnt. Now, the memo war continues, because yesterday, the House Intelligence Committee voted to release the democratic rebuttal to the g. O. P. Russia memo. So our nations leaders have been reduced to passive aggressive memo writing. Its the congressional version of the office thermostat. laughter now, we dont know sharon get a sweater now, we dont know exactly whats in the democratic memo, but we do know that its 10 pages, and it has now been sent to trump, who has five days to decide whether to declassify it, which is perfect for trumps reading level two pages per day. cheers and applause but why why . Reading is fundamental. Reading is fundamental. But why give him so long . Trump doesnt take five days to decide on anything. I think he decided to run for president on his escalator ride to the lobby. I dont know, shall i . Should i . I dont know. We dont know yet what trump is going to do, but people are speculating that he will release the memo, but with a lot of redactions. In fact, we are acquired an exclusive sneak peak of the memo with trumps redactions. It says, no collussion. Trump is good. And then just kep enough letters to spell the word boobs. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Wanda sykes is here. But when we come back, they shot a convertible into space stick around if its all right, oh yeah i wanna kick it with you all night, all right all night, all night, all night, baby i see your one, two and three dollar deals. Tell you what, ill raise you five. Introducing value jacks way. Five great ways to save. Like i tell jack jr. , its all about big values, jr. Prices. Thats value jacks way. Like jacks oneofakind breakfast pockets for 2 each. Three of jacks famous tacos and a small drink for 3 or a classic bonus jack combo for 5 its like i tell jack jr. , its all about big values, jr. Prices. band playing cheers and applause Stephen Jon Batiste and stay human, everybody right there now, jon, jon, you guys over there, are you sounding particularly full and lush tonight. To what do we owe the honor . Who do we have with the band tonight. We have from louisiana, the soul rebels, you all. cheers and applause stephen now, thats going to help you kick off the mardi gras celebrations a little bit early. Jon yeah gr i just found this out and this is wonderful youre going to be the grand marshal at mardi gras this weekend in new orleans. Jon yes. Stephen noose ethats amazing. cheers and applause . Jon im going to be out there. Stephen what crew are you with . Well be out there on saturday. If youre around, come down. Stephen i wish i could. Can i shake your hand . Can i shake your hand . Give it up one more time for jon batiste. There we go. cheers and applause stephen it proves were friends. Jon thats right, thats right, the proof right there, the picture. Stephen listen, you can catch the soul rebels on tour now, and go see jon in the parade on saturday. Its going to be fantastic. cheers and applause ill tell you Something Else that has got me very excited. You all know spacex, the rocket design and Manufacturing Company started by tesla founder elon musk . Today, they did a test launch of their biggest rocket yet, the falcon heavy. Check it out. Three, two, one. cheers stephen wooooo gbaby, go cheers and applause and that was just the beginning. The Falcon Heavys boosters disengaged and had to land safely on landing pads with pinpoint accuracy. Check that out and the falcons have landed stephen the falcons have landed cheers and applause the falcons the falcons have land screw the eagles the falcons win the superbowl give them the trophy but heres the kicker this is the really exciting part. The launch was to demonstrate that the falcon was not only reusable, but can carry a large payload. So to test it, elon musk sent up his own tesla convertible with a dummy astronaut at the wheel while blasting david bowies life on mars. Thats right this is true a giant phallus cranking rock n roll, releasing a red convertible into the dark void. And the award for most midlife crisis goes to elon musk. cheers and applause so what we saw just there, what we saw just there of the car was an animation. Heres a live stream right now from car as it heads througher space. And on the touchscreen it says, dont panic. Which, as we all know, is a reference to hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. We get it, musk youre king nerd. I relinquish my crown. cheers and applause here come claim it. Come claim it, galactus. So now falcon will orbit the sun beore heading to mars, where musk says the tesla will be in deep space for a billion years or so in mars orbit. No surprise i mean, you gotta circle mars forever to find parking. Meanwhile, in the other frontiers of science snack food yesterday, news exploded online that pepsis c. E. O, indra nuri, hinted on a podcast that doritos is making lady friendly chips that dont crunch, for women. Not only that, but if it does make noise, it will be immediately interrupted by a crunching of a male chip. laughter now, if youre wondering, if youre wonder ago as i am why, god, why . It turns out that pepsico, who owns doritos, claims that research has found women do not like to crunch loudly or lick their fingers when eating in front of others. What kind of disgusting focus group was that . laughter hey, lady, lick your fingers. Did you like that . Did you like me watching you . This is for science. No, no, no. I stay behind the mirror. Only i get to see. Now, the lady chips would be palatable in other ways, too. They would be designed to fit in handbags. I dont know if women need help fitting food in their handbags. If you have ever been to a buffet with my aunt noreen, shell roll up with a purse for enough shrimp for a month. Well be right back with wanda sykes. To a blunt angled lob. Im dead. Im back. Its going to be everything. 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We met briefly at the hand in hand benefit in los angeles for the hurricane victims. But you were with the bigwigs. You were over there sucking it up with Barbra Streisand you. Stephen have to suck it up with babes. I was like, hey, Stephen Stephen she needs your full attention. I wouldnt have said hi to you. I just would have been, like. Stephen listen, i know youre an eagles fan. Yyes, yes. Stephen congratulations. applause thank you, thank you, thank you thank you. Im also a saints fan. Thats my main team, saints. But im an eagles fan. Saints eye mean, eagles, eagle s. Stephen you have a place in philadelphia, dont jew yes. Stephen anything turned over in your neighborhood . No, we have a lot of nice, older white people in my neighborhood. Stephen they can turn ow. They can turn. Its the young ones you have to look out for. Stephen the lipitor, they go crazy. Kevin went a little crazy. Stephen kevin hart went crazy. Yeah, yeah. Stephen he tried to get up on the stand with the lombardi trophy, as if he played. He played im like, no, i know you do everything, but, no, you didnt do that. Stephen hes not quite big enough to catch the ball. I was like, come oman jumagi, youve seen jumagi stephen number one movie. Philly has never won a super bowl. Hes a huge fan, so, you know, he went nuts. Hey, at least he didnt eat horse bleep . You gotta give him that. Stephen thats true. Thats a new one. You gotta give him that. Stephen for the people who dont know, there is footage phillies fans. Stephen a particular phillies fan who has a bleep right now of of bending over and eating horse poop because the crowd was chanting for him to do it. Thats a people pleaser. Yeah, yeah. He is not a leader, no. He is not a leader. laughter stephen well, speaking of leaders, three of the eagles players have already said they dont want to go to the white house. Right. Stephen for the traditional invitation, where the president has the team down and congratulates them and everything with the lombardi trophy. If you were one of those players, would you go down to the white house . Honestly, i would go. I would. I would go, and i would show up with moving boxes and a uhaul. I would be like. cheers and applause lets go time to go stephen not bad. Thats not a bad idea. We we like to make some jokes about the president from time to time around here. Really . Stephen just once in a while, once nay while, when its appropriate. Its not always appropriate. When its appropriate we do. Im hardpressed okay, think of something positive about the guy. Is there anything anything positive. You do some political humor. Is there anything positive that comes to mind when you think about the president . laughter . Boy. You know, that melania, she doesnt seem too bad. laughter . Stephen yeah, yeah. Yeah. She doesnt seem too bad. Yeah. But, you know, what ive noticed, they never walk together. You notice that . Like, did you see, like, yesterday, i think, when he got off the helicopter stephen he always goes first. He just took off. But that tells a lot you know. It says that thats the guy whos trying to get ahead of his lie, yeah. Stephen get ahead of his lie . Get ahead of the lie. I have friends like, that man. When i see they pull up and he gets ahead of his wife, i know, okay, here comes the lie. Hes like, hey, i was with you last night, okay . If it comes up, i was with you watching the game, all right . applause thats straight to the hey, man, come here, come here. Stephen we were in the situation room, handling, you know,. Exactly, exactly. Thats his move. Hes, you know is the porn star dead . Is the porn star dead yet . Stephen thats a little. Thats a little dark. cheers and applause a little dark. Funny because its true, i guess. Yup. Stephen as i said, you do some politics in your in your comedy. You did the Correspondents Dinner a few years bark right . Yeah, the first one for president obama. Stephen ive played that room. Thats a thats a strange room. It is. Stephen a strange room. Tright. Stephen people on the dais have to be laughing for the people in the room to laugh. That, yes, and, also, its just a spectrum of people. You get heres Madeleine Albright and is that a kardashian . What the hell . What the hell is going on in here stephen its a very fine line. But if you if you laughter if you if you could change something about washington, like, what what would you change about the city . You know, i recently saw hamilton, and i was amazing. I was inspired. And i believe that we should bring back the duel. laughter stephen oh, okay. Im all for bringing back the duel. I mean, wouldnt you love to see Maxine Waters square off with Mitch Mcconnell . cheers and applause stephen yeah, i would. Because shes a small target, too. Shes a small target. And i bet you she has an itchy trigger finger, boy. I bet you. laughter oh, oh, oh, we cant decide what to do about the dreamers . You dont want a path to citizenship . Duel come on stephen 10 paitions and gone. 10 paces and gone. Duel applause but you know women. We would take advantage of the duel situation. Stephen how. Because it would spill over, you know, into real life, you know. Like, a guy comes home, and his wife is like, oh, youre dueling bob t t yo so i told him you would duel it out with him. Im not doing that. Oh, all right okay. Hey, shirl, yeah, tell bob that henry doesnt want to duel. Yeah, tell him i guess i did marry a little bitch. applause see . See how that works . Stephen now, you got a new show here. Youre the executive producer, and have competed on yes. Stephen a show called talk show the game show. Yes. Stephen i do not understand how a talk show whats a talk show game show . Talk shoam the game show woe combine a talk show with a game show. Three guests come out, and they have an interview, and we judge that interview. You score points by doing things you normally do on a talk show, like how i told a joke and they laughed. That would give me points. A line about my age or, you know, applause breaks. Stephen how old are you . 35. cheers and applause that would be points. Ding, ding, ding, ding that would be points. Stephen well, could you show me how it works . Sure. I brought my lead judge casey. Come on out here, casey. Stephen this is one of the judges . This is our official judge. Stephen nice to meet you. Stephen i just ask you any question and we just go. Right. Stephen so, well, this sounds really exciting. What else are you working on these days . Well, first, stephen, i want to say thank you very much for having me on your show. I brought you a gift. Gift to hawse, two points. Applause, two points. I didnt realize how you were such a handsome man. Flirt with host, three points. Gorgeous, so gorgeous. You know what . Hey, how about being the greatest city in the world right now, new york. Mention city, applause break, three points. Drink alcohol on stage three points. Oh, boy this is just amazing. So ive been very busy, stephen. You know im a guest star on blackish. Plug project two points. Name drop two points. I was nominated for an emmy three points. But we dont want to talk about that. And im also consulting over at the new roseanne reboot plug project two points. Roseanne bawr is over there. Name drop, two points. Laurie metcalf, who is nominated for an oscar, how amazing is that. Sara gilbert. Name drop two points. You are getting a yellow card for excessive name dropping. Spit break, five points. Applause break, two points. And that is time. That is how you play the game. Stephen talk show the game show, everybody. Lovely to meet you. Talk show the game show airs thursday nights on trutv. Wanda sykes, everybody. Well be right back with Thomas Haden Church. [click] [silence] [click] hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hello hi. [bees bees by simon and garfunkel ] bees bees the volkswagen atlas. With easyaccess 3rd row. Lifes as big as you make it. elevator speaker going down. Oh no. Peter . Its kristy. Camp jenkins . Maybe this will jog your memory. Alexa, play my funky place. alexa playing your music. Remember our dance . Yeah, im not peter. Alexa, note to self. Take the stairs next time. Get a free moto mod with amazon alexa when you buy a moto z2. Available at major carriers. When you buy a moto z2. And at kay, he designs for the hollywoods bstar in your life. This ring was inspired by an art deco design that goes back 100 years. At kay. The numberone Jewelry Store for. Yes. Every kiss begins with kay. Stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. My next guest has starred in everything from sideways to spiderman 3. You can now see him in hbos divorce. Yeah, hes definitely grounded, definitely. But how do you have a tesla . I dont. That is actually not mine. Its my friend womans. Friend womans. Yes. You mean girlfriend . Yes. Your girlfriend has a tesla . She does. And you have a girlfriend. I do. Stephen please welcome Thomas Haden Church applause cheers and applause come on. You cant bank enough of those shots. Stephen you cant, no. Especially when youre from texas. We need them. Stephen you are wearing cowboy boots . These are actually snake boots. Stephen theyre snake boots. What is the difference . These will prevent you from being bitten by a rattlesnake. Stephen a lot of snakes in midtown manhattan, are there . No, no. Stephen Thomas Haden Church . I live on a ranch in texas. Stephen yeah. Although i will mention, the people that engined these boots left convenient fang holes right right there on the calf. Stephen that would be a big snake. If those are the fang holes, thats a big snake. Because i typically when i do press, i come dressed not unlike yourself, elegantly. And i thought, you know, im just going to show up how i dress every day on the ranch. So i rolled the dice, and here i am, apparently looking like general George Armstrong custer. laughter so this is working out great for me. Stephen an elegant custer. This is elegant. Exactly, with the coquettish scarf, right before he rode into the valley of the big horn, he went coquettish. Stephen you are from texas, yes . I am from texas. Stephen and you loif a ranch. Did you come here directly from the ranch . We flew in yesterday. I got in last night. Stephen how, and you have not changed since you flew in from the ranch. Truth be told, these are the same clothes i wore on the plane. Stephen just, a little talcum powder and youre good. Fresh as a daisy. Real quick are you really a guy with a ranch or are you a celebrity who has some land . A lot of celebrities say, i have a ranch. You dont have a ranch. You bought some land. Do you work your land, Thomas Haden Church . I have three acres, and i mow it. Laugh applause stephen thats working the land. How many acres do you have . We run cattle on about. In the neighborhood of about 10,000 acres. Stephen wow we of we run cattle. I like that we run cagths. Thats in the parlance of stephen the lexicon of the rancher. Is there a gros glossary . Is there a glossary they give you when you start to ranch. I started when i was a young guy growing up in texas. I got my first job on a research when i was 13. I was paid 1. 05 an hour. Stephen good money when youre 13. The halcyon days of the 70s and minimum wage, 1. 05. Stephen did you get hurt you can get hur hurt easily on a ranch. I did get hurt a number of times. I had to skip a Golden Globes press conference. We were pushing a cattle in a trailer and one turned around this is literally a day before a Golden Globes press conference. When it was coming back it hit me and got by me and kicked me and ruptured my hamstring. Stephen wow. Its a cool story whenever youre explaining it to the Hollywood Foreign press gr wow. Any trouble no idea what a cow or hamstring was. Law laugh i went all Different Directions with the injury. Stephen laswing bone. Nice stephen thanks very much. I know french anatomy very well. You got the show divorce on hbo. Yes, sir. Stephen with Sarah Jessica parker. Shes tough. Wouldnt want her to charge me. Un, she is a trained u. F. C. Fighter. A lot of people dont know that. Stephen a grappler. Shell take you to the ground. Shell choke you. Im completely being ironic. None of that is true. She doesnt know what an arm bar is. Stephen i dont know what an arm bar is. I dont want to demonstrate. Stephen whats an arm bar . Shall i come over there. You really want i dont know how to do one properly, but it is whenever you can disable and trap your opponent stephen well do this and go to commercial. And try to hyperextend his elboy. Stephen okay, what are you going to do. I would get you in some sort of a there gu. cheers and applause stephen okay . Wait, i cant take it off. Cant take it off. Stephen there gu. Okay, firestone you probably really know what youre doing gli dont. Okay. Stephen you can still hear him . Okay. Try to move you into some sort of, like, a body triangle, but we have to be on the ground. We have to be on the ground. There you go laughter what i would do, if i came in and you were in this position. Stephen yup, yup. I would bring you around like that. And then i would get you in a triangle, and like arm bar. Stephen it feels good divorce airs sundays on hbo. Thomas haden church, everybody well be right back with comedian june diane raphael. Depression is a tangle that can make you sad, feel tired, and have difficulty concentrating. Trintellix is a Prescription Medication for depression. It may help you take a step forward in improving your depression. 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Com. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, my next guest is a comedian youve seen in grace and frankie, burning love, and new girl. Please welcome june diane raphael. applause stephen hello, june diane raphael. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I was just trying to figure out where to put my sleeves. Stephen ill move the cup. Ill move the cup like this. You have room for your sleeves. And i have my water in here. Stephen welcome back to new york. Thank you. Stephen i know youre from around here, long island. Yes. Stephen like everybody you got hauled out to los angeles. Yeah, the weather calls. Stephen now, youre back for a while. Welcome back to endless winter. Thank you. Its been pretty shocking. I mean, i was just on i was in montreal for about four months. And stephen thats pretty cold. Its very cold its too cold it makes me feel like people should maybe not live there. laughter its such a gorgeous city, but it feels like, oh, this isnt meant for humans. This isnt where humans should be. I have two small children who grew up in Southern California and they are and were shocked by the weather. Stephen yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I took them outside, and the oldest, the toddler just started screaming, ow ow, it hurts. It hurts here were talking below zero there. Yes. We were in montreal after the holidays. Stephen negative 20 or Something Like that at night. And there were many days when we couldnt go outside, and we were renting an apartment, and youre just told you cant bring kids outs. And we were finding things to do in an Apartment Building that were not activities. Lets go to the lobby and look at the mailboxes stephen garbage chute garbage chute that was huge. Stephen and who wants a ride . An elevator ride, thats a soiled lafl hour. Stephen how old are these two young diswreers theyre three and a half and one what i have. Stephen and your lovely husband paul scher has been a guest on this show. Yes. Stephen and do you guys often travel with the children . Unfortunately, yes, we do. Stephen are they good travelers. No, no, no, no, no. Stephen okay. I mean, are any children good travelers . I dont know. I feel like we head on to that airplane and it is just its our dunkirk. It is just laughter it is just. Im my worst self, you know. I hate them. I hate other passengers. I hate the flight attendants. I hate my husband. A lot laughter i think i hate myself most of all. But weve just had some really one of the last trips we did back from montreal to l. A. , our babybaby, who was 16 months at this time, cutting two enormous teeth. Stephen thats a long flight. It is crazy long. Again, too cold too, long and nothing to be done. Like, were on that plane. Stephen sure. It is were trapped. Stephen with a teething baby. With a teething baby who cried foor this is not an exaggeration one hour. I clocked it, and it begins. It was one hour. And were just disgusting plane people. Like, my hairs in a bun thats right here, and were just gross. And the only way he would stop crying is fiwalked up and down the aisle. And by stopped i mean less loudly. Stephen so you were spreading the crying up and down the plane. Yes, yes. Stephen very generous of you. An equalopportunity, horrible plane ride for everyone. Stephen yes. But im also of the mind, were all here together. What can we do . There are children in the world. So im walking up and down the aisle, and people are, for the most part, very kind. And i see several people looking at me, you know, very generously and kindly. But i passed this one woman, and im kind of creating space for her to move by and leaning into other people. And she goes, ah like thats that to me. And i just lost my mind. laughter i went crazy. Stephen did you did you hurt anyone . Well. laughter . Stephen because ive had a wife with a small child, and she murdered several people. No, im not surprised. That doesnt surprise me. I had a quick, like, reality check of youre holding your baby. Stephen dont lash out. Curb your violence. I walked over to paul, my husband, and i said, a woman just gave me a really newscasto look and sound, and im about to lose my mind. And he said, let me hold the baby. And i said, no. And i walked over to her, and i found her on the airplane. Yeah, im not well. Im not a well person. And i walk over to her, and i see her, and she sees me and then just closes her eyes. laughter stephen she plays posjiewm yes. She played possum. And the baby is screaming, and i just stood there for a while to let him scream and let her just, like, experience it. Stephen just to irrigate her with the noise a little bit. Yes, exactly. And then i just leaned down, and i whispered in her ear, i see you. laughter applause . Stephen you get dragged off the flight. You get dragged off the flight by your feet. Good for you good for you. I just wanted to let her know, i see you stephen so lovely to see you. Good luck on your flight back. Late show. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be john oliver, beanie feldstein, and wolfgang puck. Now stick around for james corden. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry bout where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show cheers and applause