Stephen colbert stephen welcomes sophia vergara, david cross and musical guest tove lo, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause . Stephen whooo applause . Stephen lovely. Please, have a seat, everybody. Thank you very much. Very kind. Welcome one and all to the late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. The big story applause the big story as we all know is that people are still talking about was trumps tweet about four Freshman Congress women racist . Well, i say if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it probably just told the geese to go back to canada. laughter so last night the house of representatives passed a resolution condemning trump for his racist comments. Thats right, mr. President. A formal condemn nation you watch your step, mister. Or next they will hit you with a not arized complaint and aeb laughter now all the democrats voted for the condemnation, along with four republicans representative fred upton of michigan, susan w brooks of indiana, Ryan Fitzpatrick of pennsylvania and will hurd of texas. Plawtion applause or. Stephen yeah, or as they will soorch soon be known, freaky fred, susan, bityhy brian and im going to guess the black guy is Frederick Douglas . I dont know. Jon my goodness. Missed on that one. Stephen fun fact, or fact, i dont know how fun it is, fun fact. This is the first time that a sitting president has been sen sured by either sen seured by either houts cough since 191 when they sen sured alan taft for eating a congressional page. Yeah, but show trump show saw the vote as a victory tweeting so great to see how unified the Republican Party was on todays vote concerning statements i made about four democrat Congress Women. The republican vote was 1874. Wow. laughter so great, yes, we lost. But i covered the spread. Now these four Congress Women are known in washington as the squad. applause and trump went after the squad directly tweeting they are now the top most dot dot dot dot dot dot dot advisable visible members of the House Democrats who are now wedded to this bitterness and hate. Stephen wedded a hate. You know it is serious when trump starts quoting his marriage vows. laughter applause . Stephen it is a delicate dance for the republicans to de fend obvious racism but they make it look z easy. And, and stupid. Take, take pennsylvania representative and man whose eyebrows dont match the drapes, mike kelly, kelly said of democrats they talk about people of color, im a person of color, im white. laughter yeah, yeah. Im also a minority because there are very few people dumb enough to say what i just said. Mr. , put them up. He stupided on. Im an anglo saxon with a name like mike kelly, you cant be from any place else but ireland. Holy stupid. Irish people are many things, kelly. One thing they are definitely not is anglo saxons. You know how i know this . If my family were anglo saxons the anglo saxons wouldnt have driven my family off their land to go west of the River Shannon to farm rocks. You are officially kicked out of being irish. Please, turn in your erin go bragh button, your notre dame pennant and your box of lucky charms. Oh yes. applause yes. Jon that stereotypes. Stephen stereotypes are true, jon, all we eat is lucky charms. We make a spoon out of potatoe and eat our lucky charms. Jon i believe it. Stephen and from one american of irish an sesesry to another ancestry to another, mr. Kelly, we are not people of color. Under this makeup my skin tone is uncooked calamari. Okay. I am translucent. You shine a flash light on me and a rainbow comes out the other side. But perhaps the dulles knife in the republican drawer is president ial son and man who has got big gums and he cannot lie, eric trump. Here is what eric told the fox friends today. My father is in there fighting every day, he has to fight against the media. He has to fight against these lunatics and guysk im telling you. 95 of this country is behind him in this message. Stephen yeah, 95, im telling ya. laughter 95 is behind my dad, okay. Okay, you better check my math, okay, he lost the popular vote, okay. Jon uhhuh. Stephen lowest Approval Rating of all times and it it is the bunny, hi, mr. Bunny, dad, can i keep him, wait, come back. Come back, mr. Bunny. Come back. Come ban. I love you i love you i love you. laughter they always leave. Scene. cheers and applause theres one big story we havent talked about since coming back from our break and it is about millionare finance year and finance ear and guy with a walkin closet just for his skeletons, jeffrey epstein, epstein was recently arrested and accused of sex trafficking of minors. It is a disturbing story and there is a mountain of evidence that this guy is guilty. Dozens of women have come forward, porn graphic images were found in his home and we learned to cover his track, he shipped himself a large Paper Shredder and a carpet and tile extractor. Yeah, he bought them at bed, bath and obviously guilty. Epstein, this is a bit of strange detail here. Epstein even owns a mysterious private island which he nicknamed little st. Jeffs. Which locals refer to as pedophile island and orgy island. Huh, that might be a clue. Excuse me sir, were vecting a murder in the neighborhood, if you seen any suspicious activity. I havent, might want to check with the guy who lives over at the stabby shack. Epstein de fended himself in 2011 saying i am not a sexual predator. Im an offender. It is the difference between a murderer and a person who steals a bagel. Those are not the same thing. Here is how i know. No one has ever come to my door to say hello, i just moved to the neighborhood and im required by the court to inform you that i once stole a cinnamon raisin bagel with a schmear. Epstein has been doing it for decades, in 1970 he taught at the elite of private school dalton where he is known for violating norms with his encountedders with girls and wandering the halls in a fur coat, gold chains an open shirt that exposed his chest. What did he teach . laughter intro to pitching . Pimpg, after he stopped teaching he became a Hedge Fund Manager who rubbed elbows with famous people like bill clinton, waddy allen and Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman as well as superstar attorney alan derrishowitz who admits to getting a massage at epsteins mansion but he says it wasnt from an underaged girl but an old, old russian. And brace yourselves for this detail. I kept my underwear on during the massage. Stephen now laughter some have doubtedded the truth of dershowitzs story but in a late show exclusive we have tracked down the woman who massages alan dershowitz, come on out, shirley. Shirley, everybody. applause thank you very much. Please, right down there. Nothing to be afraid of. Were all your friends. Shirley, thank you for being here. And im only asking to verify his story. How old are you. Im 27. Stephen youre 27 years old. Why do you look so old . I saw Allen Dershowitz in his underwear. Stephen shirley, everybody. Alan dershowitzs masseuse, thank you very much, shirley. Jon, how about a little travel music. applause heartbreaking. Of course those werent epsteins only buddies. Into, circle of rich and creepy men is complete without donald trump. Thats right. Epstein, clinton, dershowitz, trump, we have achieved full mount touchmore. laughter applause . Stephen worth it, there you go. Trump was a fan of epsteins work back in 2002. He called epstein a terrific guy and said hes a lot of fun to be with. St even said that he likes beautiful women as much as i do. And many of them are on the younger side. Many of them on the younger side, thats not a fun quirk about your friend. That is a red flag. My pal jeff balm certificate a lot of fun dahmer is fun to be with, it is even said he loves people as much as i do. Many of them on the medium rare side. Stephen but now laughter alan dershowitz. applause alan dershowitz, i ate one person but very, very old and grisley. But now that epstein is in trouble trump has changed his tune. Just last week he had this to say about his old buddy. I wasnt a big fan of jeffrey epstein. I didnt want anything to do with him t shows you one thing, that i have good taste, okay. I was not a fan of jeffrey epstein. Stephen im not a fan, i prefer sexual predators who werent captured. This morning applause quality. This morning nbc dug up some archival footage of trump not being a fan of epstein back in 1992. Coffee joe mornings mika tells the tale. A tape in the nbc archives of ahmara lago party shows trump giving epstein his personal attention. The footage shot in november of 1992, before trump opened the resort of the club, shows the future president surrounded by cheerleaders for the Buffalo Bills and miami dolphins, capturing trumps furnloving bachelor lifestyle. laughter applause . Stephen im sorry, that clip should come with a warning. Contains graphic imagery of donald trump dancing. Okay, im ready now, im ready. Can we see that arrhythmic juddering again, yeah, feel the beat, hmmmm, yeah, hmmmm, yeah. Feel the beat, then just ignore it and kind of snap and drag your feet back and forth. Hey, ladies. Hmmmm, hmmmm, hmmmm. applause . Stephen after that trump huge out with his very special party guests. Later in the footage trump is seen talking to epstein and another man, as women are dancing in front of them. Trump alternates between dancing and pointing out women to epstein and the other man and telling epstein about the cameras. Then trump says Something Else into epsteins ear that makes him double over with laughter. Stephen im pretty sure he said im going to be president one day. We have got a great show for you tonight. Sophia vergara is here. But when we return, which democrat has got the dollah dollah bills, yall. Stick around. The late show with Stephen Colbert, sponsored by hyundai. This is mia. This is mias pulse. With pressure rising, and racing. This is also mias pulse. That her doctor keeps in check, so she can find balance. This is mias pulse, and now its more stable than ever. This is what medicare from Blue Cross Blue Shield does for mia. And with over 80 years of healthcare expertise, imagine what we can do for you. This is the benefit of blue. Wherever you are. Whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. applause . Stephen hey friend, jon batiste and say human, everybody. cheers and applause im sorry, jon, im sorry, jon, however awkwardly ksh however awkwardly you try to dance compared to donald trump, you are baryshnicov. Sophia vergara is here, right over there talking us to and our friend david cross will be here today. But before we do that, i am over here because we had too much monologue. Please have a seat, everybody. It is more monologue time, it is craze sweeping the nation. Jon its as happening. Stephen we are being to get to this, big updates from the 2020 election race, i will tell you all about them in tonights doing it donkey style. The Democratic Candidates have been hitting the fundraising trail and we have some surprising results, the number one money make ther last quarter was Pete Buttigieg who raked in a whopping 24. 9 million. That is a lot of booti gieg beutibread right there, is he even raking in cash in the big apple where he raised more money from flork City Residents that than new york mayor bill de blasio. Now i will admit that sounds bad, that does not sound gook, that sounds bad, if you consider the full headline says Pete Buttigieg raised more money from new york residents then bill de class de blasio got nationwide, ouch, you may not get the jb you are applying por but the good news is there might soon be an opening in south bend, indiana, because the dairy queen is hiring for the summer it is Seasonal Work but you get free samples. We also found out which celebrities gave to which campaigns, we learn actress Gwyneth Paltrow hosted a fundraiser for buttigieg at her home. She personally donated 2800 which is enough to go on goop and buy half an ounce of sell you lar repair crystals. Pete wasnt alone in nabbing big celebrity donors, Elizabeth Warren saw donations from bette midler, Ryan Reynolds and shonda rhymes, shonda rhymes, that is reims, that is bold for a candidate that associates themselves with scandal. Maybe, perhaps the mostsing newe buscemi gave bill de blasios president ial campaign 5600. Steve . Are you okay . I just pray you are researching a role where you play a man who goes insane and votes for bill de blasio. Well be right back. cheers and applause with sophia vergara. Carrying up to 50 times its body weight. It never questions the tasks at hand. But this year, theres a more thrilling path to follow. father kids. Change of plans vo defy the laws of human nature. At the summer of audi sales event get exceptional offers now were going all in thion strawberries. Ra, at their reddest, ripest, they make everything better. 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Covered by medicare and most major insurers. applause . Stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Folks. Folks. Thats right, give it up for the band right over there, one more time, one more time for the band right over there. You know my first guest is gloria on modern family. She now stars in the new film bottom of the ninth. Plseelcome show sophia vergara. applause applause nice so to see you again, so lovely to have you back. Thank you so much for having me, i am so happy to be here. Stephen i want to thank you for two things. What. Stephen the last time that you were here, no it is all good. The last time you were here you have your own ind mat apparel line. Yes, ebbi. Stephen what does it stand for. Empowered by you. Stephen and so it is like. A line of underwear that you get on, how do you say, on the mail. Stephen all the best package. R comes through the so and i want to empower women all over the world because we give 10 percent of the profit. Stephen the people who make it, which is fantastic. No, not that people that are making it, we are paying them but we are also helping yeah, we are. But we where empowering them. We are also, we have a foundation that we empower women to create their own businesses. Stephen that is wonderful. I brought you, i brought you. Stephen i didnt realize. I brought some. Stephen is this it. Yeah. Stephen the second thing i want to thank you for is that i wanted to thank you for giving me a reason to explain to my wife why a beautiful woman gave me thong underwear. That was very enjoyable. This time i didnt bring you thong, i brought you with more coverage. Because now applause . Stephen that shall can. We have all the sizes from like extra small to 3x and now this is not just a little, you know, sexy thong, this will hold anything, anything. Anything, you want. Stephen if gi camping i will use this to make a tent, thank you very much. Thats very i love that. And look at the print, supersexy so you dont feel like are you wearing a diaper or anything or like a. Stephen and if i am on safari i can hide in the tall grass in my leopard print, thank you very much. Theyre waterproof, no, im kidding. This one is a pickle. Stephen st is. Sorry what is it again. A peacock. Stephen thank you very much, that is one one word for it it. Okay. Now shall shall. Theyre fantastic. Stephen they are amazek they feel wonderful. I am very proud of them. Stephen now is your loverly husband here. My lovely husband is here, yeah, we are very happy, were on vacation. And were promoting this movie together. So we are both in new york. And were going back to l. A. Soon. Stephen you were just in italy. In italy, yeah. Stephen right there. Yeah. We spend almost two weeks there, going crazy, eating like animals. Stephen wow, eating like animals. Yeah, like we were counting and like when we were on the plane and the mms were really not good. Stephen what numbers. Like we were there 12 days andy each had two bowls of pasta a day. It was like 22 bowls of pasta each tz 44 bowls of pasta. Yeah, its like, is gret it right now, this is not what i was wearing today but you know, it is a little tight. Stephen you wear it well. You we are it well. This is exciting. Have you ever performed with your husband before. No, this is the first time. Stephen so you show up with your huses in the new film bottom of the ninth. I am assume staying baseball movie, tell what it is about. Can you not tell me s it like i am an idiot. I have been having a problem the whole day rememberite in my finn my hand but have i my glasses on. No. Stephen i will whisper it in your ear. St my english. , okay. So. Stephen what is the movie about. So it was a movie about revenger revenge. laughter i wrote if so tiny when hi my glasses on. Im an idiot, im jet lag, im sorry it is about revenge but i kept thinking constipation, like congestion, and like everything,. Stephen it covers everything, everything, no, it is a movie about redemption, it is about a man who was supposed to have a great career with the yank yees and everything went wrong when he was young. And then with the new york yankies. Stephen okay. I thought were you confused. Stephen i was not confused at all. Okay. Stephen i was delighted to you have here. Okay, thank you so much. And so then, mi going to go on. Stephen please. So then the movie is about this, about redemption, this man that wanted to be in the yankies and something happened, he went to jail, he comes back, he wants a Second Chance and im in the movie. Stephen are you his Second Chance. I am i was i dont know i was the girlfriend before he went to jail. And so he comes back and he is starting to, you know, see what is happening and i show up. And i am from the bronx. And it was a role for me, you know, an actress that worked in a show like modern family, we dont have that much time to do movies because we have a small hiatus. So im always looking for a move wree that i can really, you know, imet in, and that year i didnt have anything. So i was like watching him cast this movie. And im like, that part is for me. Stephen we have a clip here, can you tell us what is going on here. Let me see what is it . Stephen i cant show it to you without showing it to them. The clip is about redemption. It is about redemption. So you know. Stephen okay t is, two of you are outside a school. At the school, yes, yes and we are at the school and he wants, you know, to start his new life and i want to help him. I want to, you know, im not thinking anything romantic at that point with him. I just want, you know, i feel nostalgic and i think i want to help him. So this is what is happening right here, still nothing crazy. No is needed at that point. Stephen redemption, con tra ception, jim. What are you doing out here . Yourl in in one minute. How can you tell. That little car. For real . Technology. Any luck with. The stupid aptitude test. You didnt even hand it in. I guess i wasnt ready for it. You know what, maybe i do need to help you. I love it, i love the role. Stephen in theater this friday, bottom of the ninth, sophia vergara, everybody. Well be right back with david cross. vo parents have a way of imagining the worst. Especially when your easily distracted teenager has the car. At subaru, were taking on distracted driving [ping] with sensors that alert you when your eyes are off the road. The allnew subaru forester. The safest forester ever. To sprint and get both our unlimited plan and the sprintern did you know you can switch brilliant iphone xr included . paul go on. sprintern for just 35 per month. paul go on. sprintern and it has a longer lasting battery life. paul go on. sprintern and well thats it. Its that simple. paul it sure is. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com crabfest is back at red lobster with 9 craveable crab creations. Like crab lovers dream with crab. Crab. And more crab. Or for tse who want new crabfest surf turf. Grab your crab crew, hurry in or order it to go i swibecause they let metual, customize my insurance. And as a fitness junkie, i customize everything, like my bike, and my calves. Liberty mutual customizes your Car Insurance, so you only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. But one blows them allmany moisturizers. Out of the water. Hydro boost with hyaluronic acid to plump skin cells so it bounces back. Neutrogena® and try our hydrating makeup. Who used expedia to book the Vacation Rental which led to the discovery that sometimes a little down time can lift you right up. Expedia. Everything you need to go. Stephen welcome back, everybody. Ladies, ladies and gentlemen, for example, my next geses is a comedian and actor you know from arrested development and mr. Show, please welcome back to the late show david cross. applause hi. Hello, how are you. Stephen im doing well, and yourself. Good, i wanted to congratulate you, pretty quickly. Stephen on. On, im so rarely up in this part of manhattan and new york and i was coming up the subway here and coming out and i saw the big, you know, marquee, late show with Stephen Colbert. Stephen yeah. And just congrats on that, man, thats great. Stephen thanks very much, yeah. Because i yeah, because. Stephen thank you very much, yeah, we want to let people know where i was. And that it is officially official can be obviously official now t is not the filling in time is over trk is official. Stephen first three kreers i was yus paper matchier, it was a pinata, actually. Oh, cool, did you ever get. Stephen just yesterday when nominated for the emmys, we when whack, whack. And what was in there, stephen yeah, rats, it is new york. Candies rats. And i want to condition grat late the audience as well. applause you know. Stephen all of heese people are here tonight because they won an essay contest. I was reminded earlier that you and i had dinner on the lower east side, it it was called franks. Yeah. Stephen and probably was like paul shall dpsh one of our other mut eel friends and you remember that dinner differently i was told today. I dont know what your remembrance of it is. Stephen almost none. Well, i d and im being sincere when i say this, it is a story that i am told often, one of my wifes favorite stories. We were out at dinner and tell me if you remember this. Stephen it is beginning to. Okay, so we were at franks on Second Avenue in the east village. So then im talking to you. And the whole time are you like this. laughter and im it continuing to talk, continuing to talk, and it it takes me a little while to notice. And what i love about it is the absolute commitment to the bit which i totally respect from anybody. But it went on for awhile, took me a good few minutes. Stephen how long are we talking . Close to seven hours. No, it was honestly, it was enough, it was enough time to make it awkward and weird. And it was several minutes. Because im talking jibber jaber and telling this story. And then, you are not looking at me, just right off my shoulder, and then it finally noticed and i even addressed it, you dont respond, you dont break, and then eventually i go like, that and there is a giant picture mirror of, and stephen is just looking at himself like and it was great. And it. Stephen i vaguely remember that. Mi glad you enjoyed it. I did enjoy it. And it is honestly one of my favorite memories. Stephen thank you very much. It became more, the more successful you got, the more i enjoyed the story. Stephen you have a new album, it is called oh, come on. Okay. Yeah. applause yeah. This is the result of the tour that i was plugging last time i was on the show. Stephen okay. And now this is the first album you have put out since you had your first child, your daughter. Yeah. Stephen did it change the way you do come key comedy or did it change anything about your subject matter or anything . Yeah, sure, and i see the world a little differently now, or more of a sense of urgency to what i think is important. And i mean it is not all dad jokes, just so you know. The special, it is into the. Stephen are there any dad jokes. Yeah, rougherly a third of it but, i think, but yeah, but i mean like things like when my daughter was born and i say daughter, we dont know yet. But you never know. It is up to her him they thee, whatever. But you know, you say that you have a kid and everybody is like congratulations. And im that always bothered me, even before i had a kid. I havent done anything to be condition grat lated for yet. You know, i mean i barely had anything to do with it in the first place. My wife, had an affair and no, no, no, no no. Stephen you had to think about it. No, its like we dont know how shes going to turn out yet. You know. Parents, really smart, good, decent people, wellintentioned, you can be as wellintentioned as you want but you know, they could turn out to be a bit of a bitch, you know. So and you know, were going to try, obviously. Were not going to intentionally raise a tsa agent but you noafer know w will you never know. You never know. Nerve know. Stephen is there a sketch you wrote once that gods and did you it and are you like we cant show that to people t is just too dark or too strange, we cannot show that. That we ever shot, no, no, a sketch that we shot that we never got. Stephen yes, that you shot and. No, not not that i know of, no. Stephen okay. All right. Okay. You dont have to. I feel like you are putting me on the spot. Stephen im not, but it kind of my job to ask you questions that maybe puts you off balance. Maybe you are a fake news guy. Yeah. My cup, my cup , my cub why have you done to my cup no applause wrng oh, come on, it is available now, david cross, everybody. Well be right back with a performance by tove lo. Its show of strength or its sign of intelligence . In crossing harsh terrain or breaking new ground . This is the time to get an exceptional offer on the mercedes of your midsummer dreams at the mercedesbenz summer event, going on now. Lease the gla 250 suv for just 329 a month at the mercedesbenz summer event. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol®. I like to plan my activities before i take trip, with tripadvisor, its easy to discover over 100,000 bookable things to do, from walking tours in rome to Wine Tastings in tuscany, and if you like what you see, you can book it with ease. Just another way tripadvisor helps you make your trip a masterpiece. Hoo read reviews, check hotel prices, book things to do. Tripadvisor. Hilda, i like the new do. Got some layers in there, huh . The more, the merrier. Got to have this stuff in the morning. Oh, thats too hot. Act your age. Get your own insurance company. Carlo, why dont you start us with a little bit of cereal . You can spread it all around the table. And were gonna split the warm hot dog. And ill have a glass of grape juice to spill on the carpet. Oh, uh, do you want some to spill . Act your age. Get your own insurance company. cheers and applause band playing i want it that way. I cant believe it. That karl brought his karaoke machine . Aint nothing but a heartache. No, i cant believe how easy it was to save hundreds of dollars on my Car Insurance with geico. I never wanna hear you say. No, kevin. No, kevin believe it geico could save you fifteen percent or more on Car Insurance. Geico could save you fbe right back. With moderate to severe Crohns Disease, i was there, just not always where i needed to be. Is she alright . I hope so. So i talked to my doctor about humira. I learned humira is for people who still have symptoms of Crohns Disease after trying other medications. And the majority of people on humira saw significant symptom relief and many achieved remission in as little as 4 weeks. Humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. Serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. Before treatment, get tested for tb. Tell your doctor if youve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if youve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flulike symptoms or sores. Dont start humira if you have an infection. Be there for you, and them. Ask your gastroenterologist about humira. With humira, remission is possible. Imyou pick it up. Up. Im not picking it up. Well, somebodys gotta pick it up. Ill pick it up. Theyre clean cuz my hineys clean oh yeah, im charmin clean thats how i know theyre clean vo charmin ultra strong is woven like a wash cloth and just cleans better. Yeah, im charmin clean the kid does have a point. vo enjoy the go with charmin. And for an extra clean finish, try charmin flushable wipes. Stephen her new album, sunshine kitty, comes out this fall. Performing her single, glad hes gone, please welcome tove lo cheers and applause hes gone hes gone youre better off im glad that hes gone hes gone hes gone youre better off im glad that hes gone i got a girlfriend shes got a boyfriend she calls me crying every day cause they got problems he likes complaining shes compromising coming to me for real advice when he just playing i can tell she loves him way too deep he loves being super hard to please cover the basics its pretty easy hes a bitch with some expectations did you get down on his birthday . Yup did you let him leave a necklace . Yup or did you show him all your crazy . No blow him up on the weekends . Hmm did you give in to his ego . Just to give a little confidence . I think you know its time to let go youre better off im glad that hes gone my baby never no tears for that sucker only one love thats a bummer dancing all night get guys numbers better off im glad that hes gone hes gone baby, no tears for that sucker well never go dry this whole summer wanna get over get under youre better off im glad that hes gone hes gone hes gone youre better off im glad that hes gone bitch, i love you he never loved you he never saw the Pretty Things in you that i do i missed your madness youre kinda ratchet we used to go out every night get into bad things you and me under each others wing we were free til he spoiled everything cover the basics its pretty easy hes a bitch with some expectations did you get down on his birthday . Yup did you let him leave a necklace . Yup or did you show him all your crazy . No blow him up on the weekends . Hmm did you give in to his ego . Yup just to give a little confidence . No i think you know its time to let go youre better off im glad that hes gone my baby never no tears for that sucker only one love thats a bummer dancing all night get guys numbers better off im glad that hes gone hes gone baby, no tears for that sucker well never go dry this whole summer wanna get over, get under better off im glad that hes gone hes gone hes gone youre better off im glad that hes gone you and me under each others wing but he spoiled everything bitch, i love you he never loved you he never loved you my baby never no tears for that sucker only one love thats a bummer dancing all night get guys numbers better off im glad that hes gone baby, no tears for that sucker well never go dry this whole summer wanna get over, get under we get under better off im glad that hes gone hes gone hes gone hes gone youre better off im glad that hes gone hes gone hes gone youre better off im glad that hes gone hes gone hes gone youre better off im glad that hes gone hes gone hes gone youre better off im glad that hes gone cheers and applause stephen tove lo, everybody well be right back. You got your homework . Yeah. Yeah . Hey, give me a kiss. Announcer whats the role of a car company . [ kisses ] announcer to take your kids to and from school . Dont forget your science project. Announcer we think it can be something bigger. Everybody take your seats. Announcer this summer, volkswagen is supporting americas teachers. Announcer visit your vw dealer to learn how you can join in. Announcer now during the volkswagen drive bigger event, get a 1,000 purchase bonus on 2019 jetta, tiguan, and select atlas models. Stephen well, thats it for the late show, folks. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be Norah Odonnell and topher grace. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun and feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show rgi