Tonight, Russian Tiger and collusion. Plus stephen welcomes Carrie Underwood, kevin smith and jason mewes, featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater iyork ty, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause theme song playing stephen come on whoo welcome back beautiful beautiful thank you very much very kind what lovely people what lovely people. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause you know, the constitution gives the accused the right to remain silent, and clearly donald trump has never read the constitution. laughter because he will not shut the old hamburger hole. laughter everything he says just makes him guiltier. Well talk all about it in tonights episode of chopper talk cheers and applause stephen yesterday, the president was asked a simple question on that phone call, what was he asking the ukrainian president to do to the bidens . He wisely dodged it. Today, he took it straight in the face. Mr. President , what exactly did you hope zelensky would do about the bidens after that phone call . Exactly . I would think if they were honest about it theyd start a Major Investigation into the bidens. Its a very simple answer. They should investigate the bidens. President zelensky, if it were me, i would recommend that they start an investigation into the bidens. Stephen what are you doing . laughter that is literally what theyre impeaching you for. laughter dont say that outloud cheers and applause thats like if Jeffrey Dahmer showed up in court wearing an apron that said kiss the cook. laughter i dont know i think this is whats happening trump knows if somethings bad, you dont admit it in public. So, if he admits it in public, it must not be bad. Hes trying to normalize it. Its like a husband saying, honey, i know you think its wrong for me to have sex with our neighbor, but if it were why would i be doing it in the middle of your book club . laughter okay, think. That reminds me, melissa, you want another glass of chardonnay . audience reacts two laug shes nice. You would like her. laughter but hes the president , i mean, the leader of the free world. Hes not just going to stand out there and ask a foreign country to investigate his political rival. Hes going to ask two countries china should start an investigation into the bidens. Because what happened in china is just about as bad as what happened with uh. With ukraine. Stephen just when you think trump cant dig himself a deeper hole, he literally reaches china. cheers and applause sure. Its late. Just wait. Trump made these comments on his way to florida, to visit something called the villages, which is the largest Retirement Community in the country. I thought that was the u. S. Senate. Jon whoa, whoa stephen its not. The population of the villages is perfect for trump the median age is nearly 71. Or as trump calls them the youth vote. laughter they love him down there. In fact, trump was treated to a golf cart parade. laughter the only thing whiter than a golf cart parade would be a mayonnaise water slide. laughter cheers and applause jon whee lala cheers and applause stephen todays visit was a fun distraction for trump. Because the villages has it all swimming pools, golf courses, themed town squares. In fact, the complex is, sometimes likened to an adult disney world. And they mean adult. Because the community is regarded as ground zero for geriatrics who are seriously getting it on. laughter in fact, a local gynecologist reported that she treated more cases of herpes and Human Papillomavirus at the villages than she did when she worked in miami. In miami cheers and applause in miami, where, at the nice hotels, you can order chlamydia from room service. laughter 28 . Its free on the beach. Jon oh piano riff stephen these frisky seniors are even a Law Enforcement problem. As one local Police Officer put it, you see two 70yearolds with canes fighting over a woman and you think, oh, jeez. but you also think god, i hope thats his cane. laughter in addition to his golf cart parade, the president also held a rally. And he began by playing up to the crowd. Im thrilled to be here, one of the most famous and Thriving Communities anywhere in florida and really anywhere in the world as far as im concerned. The villages. cheers and applause in fact, i was thinking about moving to the villages, but i just couldnt leave maralago. I couldnt leave it. I got stuck at maralago. Stephen as trump but then a waiter pried me out from between the buffet counters, and i was free. laughter applause they gave me a radio collar and let me go. Trump was there to talk about medicare and he made a surprising admission. Millions of seniors are enjoying better healthier and more prosperous retirements. I should be retiring with you. Stephen yes, you should. cheers and applause yes. Yes, you should. And pelosis working on it. laughter then trump rallied these seniors with a solemn promise today, standing in solidarity with our nations seniors, i declare once again that america will never be a socialist country, will never be. cheers and applause stephen you tell em, mr. President i wont let those socialists take away my Social Security or my governmentrun medicare i really need it. Ive got a scorching case of the clap. laughter applause whoo piano riff this, by the way, is my old man character. laughter trump also tried to boast about his commitment to letting people keep their own doctor. Under this administration, we believe that every American Family has the right of chooshe. laughter stephen as trump yes, the right of chooshe must be guaranteed to every citizen of the united shtush. laughter piano riff then the conspiracytheoristinchief floated a new crazyballoon linking his impeachment with drug manufacturers. Were lowering the cost of prescription drugs and taking on the pharmaceutical companies. I wouldnt be surprised if the hoax didnt come a little bit from some of the people we are taking on. They are very powerful. Some of the nonsense we all have to go through but that i go through, wouldnt be surprised if it was from some of these Industries Like pharmaceuticals. Stephen hey dont go after the pharmaceutical industry. Their antidepressants are the only thing getting me through your administration laughter cheers and applause were also learning more about the weird conspiracy theories that are sucking trump down the whirlpool of shame and ill tell you all about it in tonights don and the giant impeach. The countrys gonna go to hell cheers and applause stephen yesterday, the Inspector General of the state department rushed to capitol hill for an urgent briefing with the leaders of the house of representatives. Everyone wondered what could be so urgent. Did he have more transcripts of trumps phone calls . More incriminating emails from pompeo . Spoilers for the new season of Young Sheldon . laughter hes slightly older. Turns out, none of that. Turns out, the Inspector General wanted to give congress a mysterious packet of ukraine disinformation that members of congress described as bizarre and confusing. Which was tough because bizarre and confusing are also the secret Service Code Names for don jr and eric. laughter applause not sure which is which one. Jon eric is the tall one . Stephen don, jr. Jon i remember. Stephen this mystery packet included debunked smears against, among others, hunter biden and the former u. S. Ambassador to ukraine. It is a unfathomable mystery who would want to circulate such discredited and its giuliani. laughter because last night, rudy admitted it was him to cnn, but it was already pretty obvious considering the packet contained several folders that appeared to have come from a trump hotel and copies of interview notes bearing the address of mr. Giulianis new york office. Oopsadummy. Thats like if bruce waynes house had a sign that said welcome to wayne manor, home of the bat cave. laughter the packet was originally sent to secretary of state mike pompeo, seen here submissively exposing his neck to our silverback president. laughter according to one of pompeos aides, the secretary of state presumed the material was from the white house. He presumed. Maybe because it came over in this weird envelope addressed to pompeo by a wedding invitation calligrapher. Laugh inside it gave him the option of chicken, fish, or treason. laughter cheers and applause and the return address is the white house in what looks to be harry potter letters. laughter no surprise, giuliani did start his life as a houseelf. laughter cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. Carrie underwood is here but when we return, meanwhile stick around cheers and applause band playing shes staying in a rainforest tree house . Thats my dream. You dream big for a man on a plane to omaha. And shes zip lining with little jon . What its lil jon. Even he knows that. Thanks, captain obvious. Youre with big jon. Im steve. Dont hatelike their trip, book yours with hotels. Com and get rewarded basically everywhere. Hotels. Com. Be there. Do that. Get rewarded. Liberty mutual customizes your car insurance, hmm. Exactly. So you only pay for what you need. Nice. But, uh. Whats up with your. Partner . Not again. Limu thats your reflection. Only pay for what you need. Liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty sleep this amazing . Thats a zzzquil pure zzzs sleep. Our liquid has a unique botanical blend, while an optimal melatonin level means no nextday grogginess. Zzzquil pure zzzs. Naturally superior sleep. Tthe bad news . Our so will this recital. Day. New depend® fitflex underwear offers your best comfort and protection guaranteed. Because, perfect or not, lifes better when youre in it. Be there with depend®. Can match the power of energizer. Because energizer ultimate lithium is the longest lasting aa battery in the world. [confetti cannon popping] energizer. Backed by science. Matched by no one. Dont stop, i cant feel the heat yet dont let it catch you whoa iant feel t and these new highrise slim straights are it. Take that jane fineberg. Take what . Jane i see youre still a weirdo. Made a whole career of it babe. Shop up to fifty percent off storewide with jeans from just fifteen bucks. Now at old navy. Fixfinity internet and mobile, each for 30 a month. That equals awesome wifi from americas best Internet Provider and the best lte on the go. Its the ultimate coverage solution. Its all in the numbers. With xfinity mobile, youll save up to 800 a year on your wireless bill. You can even get 250 back. Dont miss out on xfinity internet and mobile, each for 30 a month. Plus, save up to 800 a year on your wireless bill with xfinity mobile. Xfinity makes saving. Simple. Easy. Awesome. Click, call, or visit a store today. cheers and applause band playing stephen give it up for the band, everybody jon batiste and stay human over there cheers and applause welcome back, everybody. Hey, john cheers and applause thanks, everybody jon, you know, the music superstar Carrie Underwood is here tonight. Jon yeah. Stephen shes going to be doing a song. Its going to be incredible. Jon i cant wait to hear that. Stephen every night, folks, i stand right over there, i saw through the breast plate of the days big stories to perform the highly delicate thoracic Aortic Dissection repair that is my monologue. But sometimes i like to get drunk, break into the Veterinary Office of smaller stories, gene splice some humans and cats and lizards together, and make them fight on the island of dr. Moreau of news that is my segment meanwhile just slides right out of ya. Meanwhile meanwhile, amazon just revealed echo frames smart glasses with alexa built in. Finally ive always wanted to have to stop a timer by screaming at my own face. laughter meanwhile, in utah a Police Officer showed a teen how to tie his tie during a traffic stop. And you can read all about it in this weeks issue of things that only happen to white people magazine. laughter piano riff cheers and applause jon yes, indeed. Stephen meanwhile, a man took l. S. D. And fell in a lake at disneyland paris, and was found naked and confused hours later, after he fell into the manmade lake near captain hooks pirate ship. So unfair. Some people drop acid and make record revolver. Others almost drown trying to expose their junk to mr. Smee. laughter as for who gave him the acid, authorities have narrowed it down to these suspects. laughter cheers and applause meanwhile, speaking of the house of mouse, theyve just revealed the first openly gay couple in the star wars universe. And, no, its not who you think. laughter turns out, its orka and flix. From the animated series star wars resistance. Um, okay. laughter so theyre not remotely human and theyre not the same species as each other. But, still, for everyone in the Gay Community who identifies as either a halfbat half koala or an owl attending trade school for spotwelding, disney sees you. laughter cheers and applause meanwhile, this video is going viral of a pentecostal preacher exhorting his congregation and getting a little distracted. By the blood of the lamb by the blood of the lamb, god, i pray i pray i pray healing, i pray i pray i pray deliverance, deliverance, deliverance, yes lord, yes lord. Stephen yes, lord yes lord yes lord yes lord yes lord yes lord yes lord yes lord yes lord groupon for Cheesecake Factory yes, lord yes, lord yes, lord yes, lord yes, lord piano riff i dont even have time to address why he conducts his services in what appears to be the outdoor cafe at disneyworlds big thunder mountain, because theres more yes lord, have your way, have your way, have your way. Uh. Stephen uhhhhhhhh uhhhhh she just posted a picture of her new boyfriend. Uh. They look so happy. laughter even when he gets so carried away by the holy spirit that he speaks in tongues, his devotion to his phone is unshakable. Karamo. Ratatata. Shakaya. Tongue speaking in tongues stephen you really dont want to mix up your speakingintongues with your emailing. You know youre going to get hey, bill. Thanks for the roof estimate. Can i get a followup if we include shooplababandatentabashaloo well be right back with Carrie Underwood. cheers and applause cos i know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams here i go again on my you realize your vows are a whitesnake song . I do. If you ride, you get it. Geico motorcycle. 15 minutes could save you 15 or more. only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol®. For fast pain relief. [woof] cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, everybody welcome back folks, this is big folks, this is big cheers and applause folks, we have some big guests on this show, but this is a big one. My first guest is a seventime grammy Award Winning singer and songwriter who has sold over 64 million records worldwide. Please welcome Carrie Underwood cheers and applause band playing i absolutely love i love all the sparkles. Thank you stephen you dont get that every day. In the Country Music universe, you actually do. Stephen yeah, but they dont always drip off your body like that. No. Stephen no, its, like, tentacles of glitter coming off you, like you have been attacked by a very glamorous jellyfish. Thats what i was going for. Stephen so nice to have you here. You came from, am i correctly, shakota, oklahoma . How big is that . Id say 3,500, but over the past couple of years weve lost a couple hundred people. Stephen do you know where they are . No. Stephen just wandered out on to the prairie . Thats a likely small down. Are you related to everybody, basically . Not everybody. laughter i have lots of cousins and whatnot. Stephen sure. Everybody knows everybody else. Stephen everybody goes sips about everybody else town there . Its a small, small town. Stephen do you get home often . My parents still live there, so, yeah, holidays and whatnot. Stephen thats pleasant. Nice for the daughter to come home. Yeah. Stephen last week marked the 15th anniversary of you winning american idol. Trying out for. Stephen the 15t 15th anniversary of trying out for in the season that you won. Yes. Stephen take me back to shikota, oklahoma, and what the audition was like your . I didnt know what was going to come of it. I saw the auditions on the news happening in other towns, so i thought, why not . Worked out all right. laughter stephen that was the shortest autobiography ive ever read. laughter yeah. I mean, it was, like, here you go, heres your ticket to hollywood. Stephen you had no idea it was going to change your life . No, no. Im, again, from a small town and stephen so when you get that yellow piece of paper that says youre going, what happens next . I got on a plane not too long after that and we want out for more auditions to l. A. Stephen tha had you been ona plane before . No, first time. Stephen what was the First Experience of being on a plane . Terrifying. It still freaks me out, to be honest. Im 36 years old and i have been to lots of airports. Stephen im guessing you have. Back then i was by myself and there were lots of connecting flights to get there. Stephen they didnt fly you direct to hollywood . No, there were so many contestants, it was probably whatever was the most cost effective. Stephen sure, spirit airlines. Yes. Stephen exactly. Made a couple of connections and one plane was late so i missed the next plane. Stephen you missed your connection going to hollywood . I did. I was, like, im going to have to find some nice airport employee to tell me what to do because i dont know what to. Do im on the phone with whoever our Contact Person was and i was, like, please dont kick me off the show. Yeah, but i made it. Stephen youre the only one who didnt make it . Im sure not. Im sure other people i mean, we had lots of connectors. One thing, one card is not there, the whole house falls. Stephen did it occur to you to take a bus . I would have hitc hitchhiked. Stephen you earned College Credit while being on american idol. Whats the class . Im a mass com major so i wanted to be in journalism. I had all my core classes done. I wanted my last semester to be focused on getting my portfolio and figuring out where i was going to go and getting my real together and whatnot, so yeah, i had no more real classes left, i just needed hours, and all of the people at idol were so great. They were, like, we can sign whatever we need to sign, you can come back here and watch how we do this. That is great and my school said great. Stephen that is a level of senioritis i never heard of before. It was because i was so responsible going into it, i think i only lacked nine hours or something. It was nothing. I could have taken bowling. Stephen i cant remember how college works. laughter you are, on november 13th, hosting the cma awards. Yes. Stephen this is your twelfth year hosting but youre also joined by Reba Mcintire and dolly parton. Not bad company cheers and applause stephen are you excited. Yes. Stephen dolly is incredible. Growing up as a little boy in south carolina, i just loved her. Yes, she is amazing. Ive been around her many times, but i got to actually sing with her a few years back, and shes exactly what you would expect her to be. Stephen i think we have a clip of what were talking about here. Is that what this is, jim . Can we see this . I wish you joy and happiness but above all this i wish you love i i will always love you cheers and applause stephen i got to sing with her once. Yeah . Stephen we sang love is like a butterfly. I harmonized with her. We had to sing it three times. Rehearsing must have been nerve racking. The thing about rehearsals is you show up or i show up and, you know, makeup and hair is in a pony tail and ball cap, whatever, pretty much, sweat pants, the whole not it was the opposite of nine yards. I wasnt ready at all. Stephen no yards. No yards. But she shows up to rehearsals and shes got this leather, like, track suit and shes, like, high heels and the hair and the makeup and tentacles of, you know, yards of rhinestones, and she looks like dolly. I was, like, you dont own sweat pants, do you . laughter pretty sure she sits around on, like, saturday stephen maybe theyre just leather sweat pants. Maybe. Stephen you would sweat more in them, i know that. You would. laughter stephen you are up for, do i have this right, entertainer of the year. Three awards for entertainer of the year. cheers and applause thats a big title. Entertainer of the year, thats not just even singer of the year, thats all entertainment, singing, dancing, jug leng, all entertainment. I cant juggle. Stephen you cant . No, i cant juggle. laughter stephen the theme this year is celebrating the legacy of women in Country Music. Yes. Stephen what is that legacy . I mean, i feel women are the backbone of Country Music. When you think back to some of the greatest country artists of all time, dolly, reba, loretta. Stephen patsy. Patsy, tammy. They dont even need last names. But they were the ones that were i dont know, they made it for me, they taught me how to sing, they taught me how to acts dress, be on stage. They taught me anything was possible and, you know yeah, they are why i get to do what i get to do. So im glad were celebrating that and hopefully we can keep that legacy going. Stephen twelfth time youre hosting. What do you make of the trend of hostless award shows . Because im against it. Im against it, too. Stephen yeah. Were important. Stephen you have other things you can do. Yeah. Stephen you at least have another skill. This is, if i dont do this, i would be doing time. We dont want that. Stephen no, the new album is called cry pretty and youre on tour for it right now. Yeah. Stephen whats your favorite part of being on tour . Because it can be a little tough being away from your family. Theyre with me. Theyre all with me. I have two children, a fouryearold and eightmonthold. Stephen what to you do with a fouryearold and eightmonthold on tour . They love it. My eightmonthold would be fine, jake, wherever we are. But isiah, someone recently called him the mayor of catering because hes just, like, hi, everybody, and loves seeing everyone. He has his little scooter he rides around the venues in, and he enjoys hes such a people guy. So hes living the dream. laughter stephen well, later on in the show, were going to have a performance by Carrie Underwood from her album cry pretty. cheers and applause so lovely to meet you. Thank you so much for being here. Looking forward to the song. Thank you. Stephen back with kevin smith and jason mewes cheers and applause band playing these are the ones who will reach for the stars these are my people by the light of the earth, you can tell they are ours a new step to take and a new day will break yes, these are my people hi wwelcome to lindseys. Welcome to gigis. Welcome to peters. Shhh welcome to mitchs announcer now, anywhere can feel more like chilis. With new chilis delivery and togo. Keep being you. And ask your doctor about biktarvy. Biktarvy is a complete onepill, onceaday treatment used for hiv in certain adults. Its not a cure, but with one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv with three different medicines to help you get to undetectable. That means the amount of virus is so low it cant be measured in lab tests. Serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. Rare, lifethreatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. Do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. Tell your doctor about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. If you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. Common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. If youre hivpositive, keep loving who you are, inside and out. Ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you. Theres brushing and theres oralb power brushing. Oralb just cleans better. Its the one inspired by dentists. With the round brush head. Oralbs gentle rounded brush head removes more plaque along the gumline. For cleaner teeth and healthier gums. Oralb. Brush like a pro. Emreplenished,d, fortified. Emerge everyday with emergenc. Packed with b vitamins, electrolytes, antioxidants, plus more vitamin c than 10 oranges. Why not feel this good every day . Emerge and see. But since they bought their new house. Which menu am i looking at here . Start with tapaz. Oh, its tapas. Tapas. Get out of town. Its like eating dinner with your parents. Sandra, are you in school . Yes, im in art school. Oh, wow. So have you thought about how youre gonna make money . At least were learning some new things. We bundled our home and auto with progressive, saved a bunch. Oh, we got a wobbler. Progressive cant protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto when you bundle with us. Thats what the extra menus for. cheers and applause stephen wheaived hey, everybody, welcome back ladies and gentlemen, my next gooses tonight are the pot loving duo you met 25 years ago as jay and silent bob in clerks. They star in the new movie jay and silent bob reboot. A reboot, boys, is when hollywood wants to make a lot of money without the hassle of creating a new movie, so they take an old movie and change just enough to make you pay for the same bleep all over again. Those greedy bleep . Its insidious. They take a good and add youth and diversity to it. Name a november wherey a robot has plans to help the good guys beat the bad guys by blowing up a big ray gun in space. The force awakens, thats what you call a reboot. Stephen please welcome to the late show, kevin smith and jason mewes cheers and applause band playing stephen good to see you. Excellent to see you. Stephen jason, nice to finally meet you. Kevin great to see you. I never bring the boy out so this is a big deal. Stephen this is the first time youve done late night. Yes. Something happened before we came out. Can we address it . Stephen okay. He got a text from my daughter, harrelly, one of the stars in the movie. Hes known her the whole life. Ree toer for a text i want to tell a story. My daughter started dating a new guy, an actor named austin. She hasnt brought him back to the house. Im, like, why havent i met this guy . She said, hes intimidated by you. I said hes an actor, right . Cant he act like hes not nervous and come over and meet me . She calls me up two nights later and said you want to meet him . Pick me up at his house. When you come here, dont embarrass me. I said, i wont, i want to meet your boyfriend. I hung up, got dressed, grabbed three joints, got into my car, drove to the kids house, hes got a long driveway. I parked at the top, hot boxed my car, then i was wearing pretty much the same outfit but i took off my jacket and shirt and put on, textedaid im s thee driveway, i blasted them with my lights. They come to the door and all the smoke pours out, and go, harrelly, im too stoned to drive, youve got to drive home. And the kid looks at me and i go, boy, get me in the passenger seat. And i lean on him and he carries me over to the passenger seat, puts me in the car. I lean heavy so it takes an extra second. Once he looks at me i go, dont you ever give my daughter weed i slammed the door. We took off, my daughter was so mad at me. This is the text he got from harley. Do not let my dad tell that story about my boyfriend on colbert cheers and applause laughter stephen good luck. Good luck when you get home. Im such a horrible dad. Stephen you are. But the best kind. Thanks. Stephen jason, you guys have been on screen together for 25 years. Yes. Stephen i dont understand this is you guys back there as jay and silent bob 25 years ago. That is when we were in black and white. Stephen yes. Weve obviously gotten color. Stephen congratulations. Comes in like puberty. It was a creative choice because there was no money. I want to say that because i dont want people saying, he was really creative. Stephen some critic said along time ago its almost because the movie was shot from the perspective of the store security camera. Every movie after that i would say we shot it in black and white to seem like it was shot from the store security camera. laughter Stephen Kevin is one of the most talkative guests ive ever had. The last time i was here and i bleep him out i asked you one bleep question. cheers and applause and i dont think you answered it but you talked for 12 minutes. Yeah. Stephen why is he silent bob and youre jay . Thats why he never brings me on the shows because he does all the talking usually, but its because he wanted to be in the movie but not memorize dialogue. Hes, like, i could be on camera but i have to memorize all that dialogue and i need someone to bounce all my weird jokes and obnoxious stuff on. Jay was based off me from age 13 to 16. Thats me running around and obnoxious. Stephen youve known each other since kids. Yes, and his maturity level hasnt improved at all. My natural condition is im an oralist, i make my living with my mouth, quite like you. cheers and applause stephen im going to get to. This this is important. I understand youre releasing this movie in an unusual way. We are. Were taking it out. Stephen in what way . No one else was demanding this movie but us. We were the only ones who wanted to see it. October 15th and 17th its at any multiplex that has a fathom of events screening. October 15th you go, get a free poster. Seventeenth you go and its a double feature and strike back. But then me and jay go on a 62city tour between october and march where we take the movie from city to city and watch it with everybody. Stephen and take questions. And do q a. Then we have a big tour october 14ic and something happened to us at the premiere. We get to go to tcl chinese theater in los angeles and put our prints in the cement. cheers and applause stephen thats amazing. And this is years ago, 1979, my whole family went to the romans chinese theater courtyard. Thats me and my brother kneeling in front of r2d2 and 3cpos footprints, and now 40 years ago well be in the courtyard as well. Stephen tickets to jay and silent bob are available now. Kevin smith and jason mewes, everybody back with a performance by Carrie Underwood stick around dramatic orchestra performance comes in lots of flavors. Theres the ampedup, overtuned, feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. And then theres performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. Thats the kind lincolns about. S before she puts them in the dishwasher. So what does the dishwasher do . vo cascade platinum does the work for you. Prewashing and removing stuckon foods, the first time. mom wow thats clean vo cascade platinum. mom, whispering shh, shh, shhh. Thank you associate, whispering hey, youre all set. mom, shouting really . Bamwhat . dog whining noise. mom, whispering that was so easy. associate bamwhat . mom bamwhat . Thats not even a word. Hi, its real milk, just00 farmwithout the lactose, id. So you can enjoy it even if youre sensitive. Delicious. Now, ive heard people say lactaid isnt real milk. Ok, well, if it isnt real then, i guess those things over there cant actually be cows. Must be some kind of really big dogs, then. Sit bad dog. paul sprintern at special time its iphone season at sprint. paul switch and get. sprintern the new iphone 11 or iphone 11 pro with amazing allnew camera systems. And now you can get iphone 11 paul . For zerodollars a month when you trade in your iphone7 or newer in any condition. sprintern seriously, any condition paul and with sprints 100 total satisfaction guarantee you can try out the network and see the savings for yourself. sprintern can i get a. [air horn beep] its iphone season. Hey paul, do you love it . paul yeah. sprintern do you love it . paul i do. For people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay. Com. cheers and applause band playing everything goes my way. Hey so you dont have to stash antacids here. Or here. Kick your antacid habit with prilosec otc. One pill a day, 24 hours, zero heartburn. Well, if youre celebratingt by eating reeses. Ween . Then no, youre actually late. Not sorry, reeses. Aaddiction. How juuline hooked kids and ignited an Public Health crisis. Other news outlets report juul took 12. 8 billion from big tobacco. Markets ecigarettes with kid friendly flavors and uses nicotine tdim. 5 million kids use ecigarettes. Juul is following big tobaccos playbook. A proc to overturn ecigarette protections. Vote no on juul. No on big tobacco. No on prop c. Stephen and now performing low from her hit album cry pretty, ladies and gentlemen Carrie Underwood like a cigarette without a light like a whippoorwill without the night a broken buzz thats lost its high oh, baby, thats what i feel like im so low, im so low like a diamond ring without a stone like a guitar without a song everything that was right is wrong ever since, baby, you been gone im so low, im so low yeah, im low and blue im so lonesome for you oh, yeah oh, whoa, oh yeah, yeah oh, ive hit rock bottom, im in it deep i cant get no air, i cant get no sleep, without you by my side i tried to see the light, baby, but i cant cause way down here in the world i am, the sun dont shine cause im low, low, low, low im so low im so tangled up and blue im so lonesome for you and i dont know what to do cause im so lonesome for you yeah, im so lonesome for you cheers and applause stephen thank you, carrie. Carrie underwood, everybody well be right back cheers and applause cheers and applause stephen thats it for the late show. Tune in tomorrow when ill be joined by jon hamm and mets slugger pete alonso shows me how to go yard. Now stick around for james corden. Good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right its the late, late show ladies and gentlemen, all the