Prodemocracy protestor. And by that last comment, i meant theyre coming at them in a reasonable, lawful, humane way in accordance with the benevolent president for life, xi jinping. X. J. P. Great guy. Now back to the action. And lebron is stepping to the line for two free throws. You know what else should be free . Tibet. Okay, staying focused on the game. Its a tossup. Isnt that right, gary . speaking chinese couldnt have said it any better myself. From all of us at cbs sports nihao its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight quid pro woah plus, stephen welcomes john lithgow and Camila Mendes featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hey cheers and applause stephen beautiful beautiful nihao. Hello, jon. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Please have a seat. My oh, my. Oh, lordy. Welcome, welcome, one and all, ladies and gentlemen, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It is important cheers and applause thanks, folks, thank you. Wonderful, wonderful audience. Now, folks, it is important, i believe, to admit when youre wrong. We talk a lot about how donald trump is this corrupt guy who deserves to be dragged out of office kicking and screaming cheers and applause but but when im wrong, ill be sure to let you know. Not tonight. Because we just learned this after hes just awful. And ill tell you all about in todays edition of don and the giant impeach. Quid pro quo, quid pro quo. Eight times. applause stephen today, we got a firsthand witness to trump going ukraine in the membrane former u. S. Ambassador to ukraine and man whose eyebrows are testifying separately, bill taylor. Taylor sat down for the house impeachment inquiry, this after, closed door. We dont have all the details yet, but sources in the room say his testimony was incredibly damaging to the president , and that his Opening Statement was 15 pages long and prompted a lot of sighs and gasps. It was hold on. Hold the what the it was incredibly damaging to the president . gasps and it might get him impeached . sighs laughter now, you may remember, taylor was the diplomat who exchanged Text Messages with trump conspirator, u. S. Ambassador to the e. U. , and man beloved for his catchphrase derrr, whatever you say boss, gordon sondland. In one of their exchanges, taylor texted sondland, are we now saying that Security Assistance and white house. Meeting are conditioned on investigations . To which sondland replied, call me. Call me, but do not call me to testify before congress, because there aint no way to explain this. Now, we all imagine we know what happened on that subsequent call, but today, taylor revealed what actually happened on that call, and its exactly what you imagined happened on that call. Taylor was told by sondland that President Trump insisted that the release of ukraine aid was contingent on a public declaration to investigate the bidens and the 2016 election. Do you understand what this means . We finally have solid evidence of the crime that trump and his chief of staff have already confessed to committing on camera. laughter cheers and applause taylor true. Its true, jon. Its true 7. Jon they did it, you know . Stephen taylor testified that ambassador sondland also told me that he now recognized that he had made a mistake by earlier telling the ukrainian officials that a white house meeting with president zelensky was dependent on a public announcement of investigations. Okay, well, the ambassador reizt was a mistake to make the white house meeting dependent on ukraine announcing these investigations, because, in fact, everything was dependent on such an announcement, including Security Assistance. So trump was Holding Everything hostage as trump just make the announcement, ukraine, and ill give you the white house trip, military aid to fight the russians, and a beautiful new dinette set from broyhill. laughter and, if you act now, ill throw in this gentlyused constitution. I dont really want it. cheers and applause holding up military aid for political gain seemed kind of fishy to taylor, but the ambassador tried to assure him it was completely normal. Quoth taylor. well, thats a ridiculous analogy. When he was a businessman, donald trump never paid anyone. cheers and applause although never did. Never. Although, this time he might because its not his money. Its ours. And last night, to defend himself, trump went to his se space fox news. to the tune of the cheers theme song sometimes you wanna go where they dont ask about ukraine laughter applause now trump trump talked about the transcript of his phone call with ukraines president and assured us that he knew what it was not. Its not a letter. Its a conversation taken down and transcribed. Stephen okay, good to know. Good to know. A phone call is not a letter. Go on they dont talk about that anymore, because that letter was so good. That letter is a perfect conversation with a man congratulations on your win. And to impeach over a letter like that. But they dont mention the letter anymore. Stephen no, they dont mention the letter anymore because its not a letter. Its a phone call. But if pelosi wants to impeach you over this, i say let her. cheers and applause then jon thats a good clean attack. Great execution. Wonderful joke. Stephen then trump argued that you cant impeach over something as innocent as a phone call that is not a letter. It is one thing if you commit a real crime. This was a conversation. It wasnt even a big deal hey, how you doing . Blah, blah, blah. Stephen well, yeah, everything sounds innocent if you replace it with blah, blah, i mean, remember this scene from avengers . What im about to do to your stubborn, annoying little planet. Blah, blah, blah. laughter stephen thanos, thanos did nothing wrong. Thanos did nothing wrong. Then trump complained about the way the media treats him. You know who was covered worse than me, they say . Who . Abraham lincoln. Ive heard that one person it used to be five or six, but now down to one honest abe lincoln. They say he got the worst press of anybody. I say i dispute it. Stephen as trump okay . Lincoln, lincoln great president , and he got bad press. I get bad press. Therefore, i must be a great president. But you know who really got bad press . Charlie manson. Greatest president ever. applause . Stephen trump was also asked about some manson fans tonight, all right. Trump was also asked about possible 2020 opponents, and made sure he got all his nicknames right. The last time i took on Elizabeth Warren i thought she was gone embers, you know, burning embers down pocahontas. And pocahontas. Stephen what a kissass. Teacher, teacher you almost dismissed us without calling the Exchange Student a racist name laughter at one point, the interview turned a little wistful. With the election just around the corner, the president took a moment to remember those inspirational first moments. Were getting down to 12 months. Can you believe it . When iirst went right in the corner of that beautiful building, and i was in the first first night with the d it standing in an area where abe lincoln was, and all of them were. And thats the way it was. And im standing there, and im saying, wow, four years. Thats a long time. Stephen yes. Yes, its an eternity. If a single dove cheers and applause weve got a great show for you tonight. Mr. John lithgow is here. But when we return, lithgow is Rudy Giuliani. Stick around. In the storied tradition of his greatgreatgrandmother, goldi knows to never compromise. Too shabby too much too perfect i can rent this . For that price . Absolutely. What is this, some kind of fairy tale . Its just right book your just right rental at thrifty. Com. Oh baby bear halloween is awesome. [trick or treat] yes, yes, yes, yes. [screaming in fear] yay. [laughter] yes thank you. For your worst sore throat pain try Vicks Vapocool drops. Its not candy, its powerful relief. Ahhhhhh vaporize sore throat pain with Vicks Vapocool drops. Igpine and eucalyptus spthat awaken joy. Of true fragrance crafted only by glade. S. C. Johnson. I am totally blind. And non24 can throw my days and nights out of sync, keeping me from the things i love to do. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442142424. The game can be rough on skin. Rehydrate and strengthen your skin. To bounce back. And rebound strong. Dove men care sportcare rehydrates and strengthens skin. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back. Give it up for the band, jon batiste and stay human. All night long. There you go. Jon you gotta get it right in there. Stephen jon, these people are here on a very good night. We have one of the most delightful people. Abraham lincoln will be out here in a moment. Lithgow. Stephen as i was talking about earlier, we keep learning new details about the ukraine story. And the more we learn, the worse things look for trumps personal lawyer and taxidermy owl that the dog got after, Rudy Giuliani. Ever since the original whistleblower report, rudy has been on tv doing damage control, minus the control. Weve got an anonymous whistleblower who says that donald trump did something wrong. Donald trump, like hunter biden says, i didnt do anything wrong. Forget the whistleblower. We have the transcript of the call shhhhhhhh. And the president s remarks on the lawn. Wait. Wait. Before you interrupt me, Howard Stephen classic legal defense. as judge sir, your client stands accused of multiple counts of arson. How does he plead . as lawyer your honor, the defendant pleads shhhhhhhhhhh. But rudy has good reason to shut people up, because last week, our old buddy, Ambassador Gordon Sondland here, testified that trump personally directed giuliani to pressure ukraine. And theres more from Energy Secretary rick perry, seen here pointing to the empty place laughter perry claims perry claims that giuliani was going around pushing weird conspiracy theories. For instance, rudy blamed ukraine for the dossier about trumps alleged ties to russia, and asserted that ukraine had Hillary Clintons email server and dreamed up evidence that helped send former Trump Campaign chairman, paul manafort, to jail. Of course, all of rudys conspiracy theories have been debunked. And i have a feeling that giuliani may soon be manaforts debunk mate, because he himself cheers and applause because he himself is now the subject of a federal counterintelligence investigation, after two of his ukrainelinked Business Associates were arrested on Campaign Finance charges. Now, that sounds bad, but we should not jump to any conclusions about their guilt. These two men gah dont hurt me take my wallet take it take my money take it laughter of course, theres no proof connecting these guys to giuliani, unless you count the photos of them Smoking Cigars together, this video of them drinking together in the trump hotel, and the fact that giuliani was paid 500,000 by their company, which is called and this is real Fraud Guarantee. laughter applause yes Fraud Guarantee. He even did a little work for their retail outfit, crimemart. So, did Rudolph Giuliani and his fraud buddies lead the president into impeachment by pushing debunked conspiracy theories . Here to tell us is the man himself, trumps personal attorney, Rudy Giuliani. cheers and applause mr. Mayor, mr. Mayor, thank you for joining us. Shhhhhhhhh stephen, shhhh stephen i i havent asked you anything yet. I know, and your facts are all wrong. So shhh so shhhhush it zip it and ask me a question. Stephen okay. Mr. Mayor, how do you respond to critics who say that you were traveling the world pushing debunked conspiracies as part of a scheme to help the president s reelection . Thats ridiculous, stephen. I was simply bringing the American People the truth about the bidens and thats not all. laughter i now have reason to believe that the 2016 election was not hacked by the russians. It was hacked by hunter biden, who is actually a men in black style alien, being operated by a tiny Hillary Clinton in his neck. laughter applause stephen okay. Wow. Thats a bold assertion. That is that is. Sir, thats a bold assertion. Do you have any proof of that . Not yet. Or ever. laughter im not falling into the proof trap stephen well. What exactly were you doing with ambassador sondland and rick perry . When youre solving big, spooky mysteries, you need a it was gordon sondland, rick perry, velma, and me, rudyrudyrooooooo laughter stephen, if youll excuse me, its time for a rudy snack. laughter stephen mr, mayor, mr. Mayor, are you drinking . Shhhh. Shhhh. I cant hear myself drink. Stephen well, mr. Giuliani, your investigations have caused a lot of trouble for the white house. Former National Security adviser john bolton reportedly called you a hand grenade who would blow everyone up. What do you say to that . Stephen, thats crazy. Grenades are used by highly trained soldiers. Im more like a can of hairspray someone turns into a flamethrower during a prison riot. laughter thats also what happened to my teeth. Stephen i got it. Well, your Fraud Guarantee associates were arrested with oneway tickets to vienna just hours after you met with them. And you were also scheduled to fly to vienna. What were you planning to do there . Stephen, shhh. I was going to vienna because i love classical music. And i have reason to believe that hunter biden has stolen mozarts bones laughter and he wasnt alone. Everyone was in on it the deep state, podesta, george soros. Also. Ummm hold on, let me consult my research department. laughter the lizard people, bigfoot, the chupacabra. I know him. We have the same dentist. laughter stephen mr. Mayor, mr. Mayor lovely orthodontia. Mr. Mayor, this kind of behavior is exactly why you, yourself, are under a counterintelligence investigation. It wont work, stephen, because i am countercounter investigating them ive teamed with a new bulgarian company, certified ripoff. laughter theyre going to fund my space expedition to get to the bottom of Hunter Bidens business deal with the nazis in the center of the moon the mayor of outer space laughter the deep state theyve got my wine stephen mayor Rudy Giuliani, everybody cheers and applause well be right back with john lithgow. band playing cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody, welcome back what a lovely night. What a lovely night, jon. My first guest tonight is the tony and Emmy Awardwinning actor you know from the crown, dexter, and terms of endearment. Please welcome back to the late show, john lithgow. Oh, john oh, john stephen delightful to see you again. So nice to see you. And its me. Stephen i know you just missed Rudy Giuliani a moment ago. I know, i know. Stephen im worried about that guy. It was nuts backstage, im telling you. Teen you just celebrated your birthday, happy birthday. Thank you. Stephen saturday, sunday . Saturday. applause . Stephen saturday, did you make did you make a big todo out of it . Did you do anything fun . Well, i had a nice romantic lunch with my wife. And then i took her off to see her first look at bombshell a film coming out in december, in which i play roger ales, looking about 300 pounds with jowls and earlobes and fat nose. She still hasnt recovered. laughter so that was my birthday present to her. laughter this is how bad it can get. Stephen so enjoy me while you can. Yes, exactly. Stephen now the movies getting a lot of buzz. People are very excited about it. Nicole kid man, margot robbie, charlize theron. Here you are as roger ales. Completely unrecognizable. How long did it take you to achieve this . Well, i just sat there. It was no problem to me. But it was a twoandahalfhour session. And it was 17 shooting days, so that was stephen sure. Thats a lot of time in your life. Stephen i want to point out, john lithgow, its your business, and im not telling you how to do your job. But here you are as ales. And here you were as churchill in the crown. For both of them applause for both of them you had to wear whats called a fat suit. Thats right. Stephen why not just have fun and gain the wait for both parts . It might make sense. I mean, it seems to be all they want of me is big fat, bald men. Stephen if you had to, if you had to put on, like, 80 pounds, or whatever it is, what would be your goto . What would do you . I would call the fat suit people. They make the best fat suits. It does make you somewhat relaxed about what youre eating during the time yourtting on during which time youre shooting the show. Stephen yes. But i didnt intentionally put on any weight. Stephen okay. I just relied on stephen theres no goto snack that you would eat all you possibly could . Pasta pasta pasta applause . Stephen a little alfredo. Yeah, pesto, alfredo. Just about anything. I think thats how de niro did it for raging bill. Glvment i think he worked his way down italy. He ate italy. You wrote an oped in the new york times. Yes, i did. Stephen this past week. And it was entitled, trump is bade president. He is an even worse entertainer. Okay, counter, heres my counterargument. If hes such a bad entertainer, why cant we look away . Well, i mean, when it comes to entertainment, theres absolutely no accounting for taste. Stephen sure. I mean, i look at trump and i e a man who has no sense of irony, wit, selfawareness, even. Stephen never seen him laugh. And ive never seen him attempt to tell an actual joke. He mangles everything approaching a punchline. And yet, he, god knows, he commands an enormous audience. Hes entertaining somebody all right. It makes me think of how shakespeare must have felt putting on hamlet in one part london, while the entire town flocked to bear baiting across the river. What do you have to do . Stephen watching trump is like watching a blood sport. Yeah. Stephen yeah. Theone thing that he has achieved in entertainment, hes turned our comics into geniuses, you included. Stephen oh, thats very nice of you to say. What a lovely guest you are. What a lovely guest applause . I say that in all sincerity. I think you are an important person. And i think satire and comedy at this moment, political satire its never been more important. Stephen thats very nice of you to say. I did work for important central for many years. You have written a new book, which im really looking for to. Dumpty. With your own original art. Yes, yes. Stephen your own original art. The age of trump in verse. Its stories of trumps presidency told in poems with your own art. I particularly like this one, theres truvmenty dumpty sitting on the wall. Have you always been a visual artist . I intended to be a visual artist, a painter, printmaker when i was young. But, you know, i heard too much applause and laughter. I grew up in a theater family. And i went into the theater business in spite of myself. But ive maintained it. I do christmas cards. I do drawings of the cast on opening nights of shows. Stephen oh, wow. Or of the crew at the end of the shoots on films. And i stephen do you work on commission, because ive always wanted a portrait. For a price. Stephen for a price . Okay. Why why capture this presidency in verse . Why did this particular art form ou know, its the last thing that occurred to me. I didnt think i would set out to write a boong of political humor in verse. But something happened which was the actual inciting event. I was asked to perform for the new york Public Theater gala. They do an annual gala in central park. They asked me to come and sing the patter song from pirates of pensance. I am the very model of a modern major general. I never played the part, but i said yes. And i decided to perform it as exlieutenant general michael t. Flynn. laughter put a little put a little give a little point to the evening. And i came out on stage on the night in a navy suit and a red tie, and Michael Flynn makeup, almost as good as my Rudy Giuliani makeup. And i launched into the actual Gilbert Sullivan song, sang stephen is that this one . Yeah, although the audience had no idea what who i was impersonating until i got to the end of the second verse. I tweaked last couplet. I sang then i can hum a fiewj of which i heard the music theres never been a general the likes of Michael Flynnafore and it spread this realization in the audience. Oh, thats what hes doing. And then i slowed the tempo down to a ponderous pace, and i sang my own rewritten lyrics to the third verse. I sang when president obama made me head of all things clandestine he realized hed brought to life a governmental frankenstein but then i made a killing in a case of public pillory by shouting her lock her up in my harangue opposing hillary so i was chosen National Security advisory until i left the crafty Russian Secret Service hire me now ive become the target of a superb Council Crime report a fate i share with cohen, donald jr. , and with manafort laughter applause i plead the fifth amendment when the public and the press attack my meeting Jared Kushner in a room with Sergi Kislyak in short vegetable, animal, and mineral i am the very model of an exlieutenant general applause and i got exactly this response. And about months later, i met with my literary editor. We were trying to figure out what i should write. I remembered this evening. I sang the song to him the way i just sang it to you, and he looked at me and said, theres your book. And heres my book. cheers and applause and heres michael t. Flynn as the major general. Its one of the very first poems i wrote story it. Stephen his book dumpty the age of trump in verse is available now. The man john lithgow, everybody well be right back with a bed time story with julie andrews. Theres the ampedup, overtuned, feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. And then theres performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. Thats the kind lincolns about. You have fastacting power over pain, so the whole world looks different. The unbeatable strength and speed of advil liquigels. What pain . We are literally going to hogwarts right now. This is unexpected. Ahhhh whoaaa [ exasperated sigh ] this is incredible. We just got off hagrid, and it is by far the best ride. This is universal. [visceral laugh and scream] home of tripadvisors number one park in the world so come join us. 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Welcome back every night, we pride ourselves on giving you a whole lot of stuff. But sometimes, theres too much for the show hole. For instance, last night, i had a lovely conversation with the legendary julie andrews, but some of it just wouldnt fit. So it is my pleasure right now to present this spoonful of sugar. You shut down the show at the time. You said turn off the cameras stephen because i was in character and i couldnt really enjoy you as much as i would. You were so great, though, stephen. Stephen thank you very much. A poem we started to do together at the time was the kings breakfast by a. A. Milne. Thats right. You asked me if i knew an a. A. Milne poem. And i said yes, but do you know and i started to recite it. And you said, stop cameras. Ive got to give her a hug. Its one of my favorite poems. Stephen my mother used to read this to me as a child. Were probably out of time, but you would i would just love if we could read the kings breakfast by a. A. Milne together. I would love to. Shall i do the voices and you do the narrative. Or vice versa. Stephen ill do the narrative i think i remember it. Stephen youre the director. Im just pigment on your brush, julie. Oh, shut up the kings breakfast by a. A. Milne. Stephen colbert and julie andrews. The king asked the queen, and the queen asked the dairymaid, could we have some butter for the royal slice of bread . The queen asked the dairymaid, the dairymaid said, certainly, ill go and tell the cow now before she goes to bed. The dairymaid, she curtsied, and went and told the alderney, dont forget the butter for the royal slice of bread. The alderney said sleepily, youd better tell his majesty that many people nowadays like marmalade instead. The dairymaid said, fancy and went to tell her majesty. She curtsied to the queen, and she turned a little red. Excuse me, your majesty, for taking of the liberty, but marmalade is tasty, if its very thickly spread. The queen said oh and went to tell his majesty, talking of the butter for the royal slice of bread, many people think that marmalade is nicer. Would you like to try a little marmalade instead . The king said, bother and then he said, oh, deary me the king sobbed, oh, deary me and went back to bed. Nobody, he whimpered, could call me a fussy man; i only wanted a little bit of butter for my bread the queen said, there, there and went to the dairymaid. The dairymaid said, there, there and went to the shed. The cow said, there, there i didnt really mean it; heres milk for his porringer, and butter for his bread. The queen took the butter and brought it to his majesty; the king said, butter, eh . And bounced out of bed. Nobody, he said, as he kissed her tenderly, nobody, he said, as he slid down the banisters, nobody, my darling, could call me a fussy man but i do like a little bit of butter to my bread bravo, you stephen brava ill take, that young lady. Thank you. You were terrific stephen thank you. Thank you so much. Stephen that was such a delight. Thank you, julie. Stephen the book homework is available now. Julie andrews, everybody. Only tylenol® rapid release gels have laser drilled holes. They release medicine fast, for fast pain relief. Tylenol®. For fast pain relief. I am totally blind. And non24 can make me show up too early. Or too late. Or make me feel like im not really there. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442342424. 3 after trying it for a week, dovlike crystal. Ials underarms are so smooth to the touch and i love that fresh smell i feel amazingly protected im definitely feeling more confident would you switch . car audio you have reached your destination. vo the allnew subaru outback. Dog tested. Dog approved. Subaru establishes National Make a dogs day. Do Something Special for your dog. Charmin ultra soft its softer than ever. Charmin ultra soft is softer than ever, so its harder to resist. Okay, this is getting a little weird enjoy the go with charmin. Sc johnson. Aaddiction. How juuline hooked kids and ignited an Public Health crisis. Other news outlets report juul took 12. 8 billion from big tobacco. Markets ecigarettes with kid friendly flavors and uses nicotine to addict them. 5 million kids use ecigarettes. Juul is following big tobaccos playbook. And now, juul is pushing prop c to overturn ecigarette protections. Vote no on juul. No on big tobacco. No on prop c. Do you recall, not long ago we would walk on the sidewalk all around the wind blows we would only hold on to let go blow a kiss into the sun we need someone to lean on blow a kiss into the sun we needed somebody to lean on all we need is someone to lean on band playing cheers and applause stephen folks, my next guest is an actress you know best as Veronica Lodge from the hit series, riverdale. A little over four. Grand . Thats great. Hundred, archie. I think i overestimated the financial pull of your pictorials. Hey were just getting started. Maybe we can do a magic mike night. Or, dare i say, you boys go the full monty. Stephen please welcome, Camila Mendes applause stephen hi hi i am so happy to be here stephen e mice to meet you. Im kind of geeking out a little bit. Stephen really . Why . Because we used to watch your episodes in my u. S. Government class. Those were, like, my favorite days in high school. Stephen your teacher would show you, or you would just watch my show rather than go to class . No, he would play it for us. Stephen your teacher would show you in high school my show. Yes. Stephen the colbert report. You know i made most of that stuff up, right . Oh, wow. Stephen what did you learn from it . Its hard to say. It was a different time then. Stephen yeah, yeah, those were the before times. It was a lot of laughs, a lot of laughs. Stephen im very glass. Do you think anybody is showing riverdale in a classroom somewhere . No, although, it is honestly just as absurd as the times these days, so. Stephen i think whats amazing to me about riverdale is that it is the most unlikely cultural phenomenon i could imagine. Not that that you guys arent great, but what i mean is its the Archie Comics as a sexy drama. Yeah, its genius stephen how is that possible . Its a cw thing. We take classic comic book stuff ask we make it dark and sexy. Stephen im familiar with the formula. Youve done it very well. You were a student at n. Y. U. Here . I did, i went to n. Y. U. Here for four years. Stephen so you know the city very well. Yeah. Stephen were you there when you got the gig on riverdale . I graduated a semester early. I was finishing up just as i was auditioning for riverdale. Stephen you were auditioning while you were in school . Yeah. Stephen did you like that. They wanted it you to stay in school. Its absurd. How else am i going to pay off the loans . Stephen we want to teach you do it not go do it. I get it because acting school is all about participation. Because its kind of mean to grade you off talent. Imagine getting an f in an acting class . What did you have to do to get an f . Stephen be bad, i guess. H . Stephen did you get all as . You know, stephen, freshman year was rough for me. Stephen for everybody. For everybody. But i turned around and stephen do you remember your audition for veronica. It wasnt that long ago, im guessing. Four years ago. I do. I remember it being a very stressful day. I was 30 minutes late. Stephen for the audition . For the audition. Stephen thats not good. And i was the very last person they were seeing, and i managed to squeeze in an audition. And i got there 30 minutes late, my hair was frizzy. It was raining that day. And i remember the casting director telling me, shes like, youre a little matte right now. At cw were glossy. Gross lips, cheeks are glowing. Come back a few days from now. They brought me back for a producer session. Stephen it took you that long to get gross. It took me a weekend doing a crash course on makeup. Stephen how did you shine yourself up . My friend did my makeup and made me look glowy like i just came out of the womb, afterbirth, glowing. laughter stephen is that a compliment that i dont know about . Oh, my god you look amazing. Its like you still have the placenta on you unbelievable. What is that, afterbirth . Stephen exactly. You film the show in vancouver, which is absolutely gorgeous. Ive been there before applause we invited a few of them here tonight. One of the things thats amazing about that place, the dramatic differences. Snowcapped mountains right down into the seas. Are you outdoorsy, because the urge to go for a hike is enormous when youre there . Yeah, like, it really sucks because thats the whole thing there. But im not a very outdoorsy person. Stephen do you ever go out of doors . I do, i do sometimes. I think the closest i have been to being outdoorsy is i went on a helicopter right. Stephen would this be it . It would be that one, with the infamous mr. Bentley the dog. Hes this bulldog that you oh he rides on the helicopter with you. Stephen why does he do that . You know, i think he really enjoys it. And hes just there in the back. He humps you. He farts a little bit. Its like a full experience laughter stephen and thats included . Thats included in the cost of the helicopter . Its the whole package. You pay extra for the humping. Stephen is it a comfort animal . Is that what hes there for. I think so. Hes so calm you. Stephen think so. You didnt ask why there was a dog in there humping you . I think it was this guy just thought of a genius idea. He brought the dog everywhere. Stephen so you go up in the helicopter. They take you to a mountaintop and go hiking. No, no, calm down. Its not hiking. Its just like, we get out of the helicopter, oh, this is pretty. And we get back in and go home. Stephen thats my idea of hiking right there. Stephen riverdale ails its hard to say. Stephen we say riverdale airs, river dare laughter cheers and applause . Do you need me to help you . Sure. Why dont you read this . Riverdale airs wednesdays on the cw. The holidays begin here at the disneyland resort. Stephen hey, thats it for the late show, everybody. Tune in tomorrow when ill be joined by ronan farrow. Now stick around for james good night captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org thats a long time. Stephen yes. laughter yes, its an eternity. If a single bird had tow move every grain of sand from every beach in the world to make a new planet somewhere else out in space. And as he did so, he flew by a ball of stainless steel the size of the moon. And every time he moved a piece of sand, his wing just barely brushed that ball. And if he moved those grains of sand back and forth enough times so just the brush of his wing wore that steel ball the sides of the moon away to nothing, that would not begin to describe how long it is felt. laughter since you were elected. Are you ready yall to have some fun feel the love tonight dont you worry where it is you come from itll be all right