Sorry. What did he do . Sorry. Thats peoples work. Leave it be. Hes an idiot. Announcer its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, everythings coming up covid. Plus stephen welcomes andy cohen and musical guest phoebe bridgers. Featuring jon batiste and stay homin. And now, live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome to a late show. Im your host Stephen Colbert. Yesterday, for the 41st straight day, the sevenday average of new Coronavirus Infections in the u. S. Went up. Turns out doing nothing does nothing. But were learning more about exactly why the administration is doing so little. Part of the problem white house chief of staff and toddler who refuses to go potty, mark meadows. Apparently, behind the scenes, has been particularly forceful in his view that the white house should avoid drawing attention to the virus. Oh, yeah, whenever theres an historic crisis, the less said the better. Like uncle sam said in those wartime recruitment posters i want you. To fuggedaboutit. You might be thinking, they completely shanked this pandemic, if only someone was on the tv everyday lying about it. Great news. Trooper is bringing about coronavirus briefings. Too bad. Hoping he was going to disappear with the warmer weather. We had record numbers watching. Theres never been anything like it. Stephen of course theyre watching its a captive audience lets see, i could watch life saving information about the virus that could kill me and everyone i love or a rerun of diners, driveins and dives. Ugh, this is the one where he chokes on a pork chop. Too disturbing. Corona it is its an actual remote control. Thats the budget you get with network. And remember, this spring, trump quit holding the briefings after he was mocked widely for suggesting that people might be able to counter the virus by ingesting or injecting bleach. He had huge ratings for the same reason he stopped doing them because they were a disaster. as trump you shouldve seen when that train derailed off the bridge. So many people stopped to watch it. Sorry. My train just derailed. The president also gave an insight into the secret of his high ratings. Ill do it at 5 oclock like we were doing. We had a good slot stephen as trump we had a great slot. Right before jeopardy, which is what im putting everyones lives in. Im not even sure how informative these things are going to be, because, according to aides, President Trump no longer attends Coronavirus Task force meetings because he does not have time. as trump look, im way too busy to care about human life. What . Therell be cameras . Make way for daddy. The president might finally be pretending to take the virus seriously because, after months of eschewing masks, suddenly, hes schewing them. This afternoon, he tweeted we are united in our effort to defeat the invisible china virus, and many people say that it is patriotic to wear a face mask when you cant socially distance. Stephen okay, first of all invisible china virus . All viruses are invisible. Its why you fight them with vaccines and not a matador. He continued, there is nobody more patriotic than me, your favorite president which is it . You, or my favorite president . Because at this point, youre not in my top 45. Yeah, james k. Polk. We got a preview of what the new coronavirus briefings will be like yesterday when trump did an interview on Fox News Sunday on sunday on fox news. He was interviewed by chris wallace, and they talked about and im rounding down here everything. The main topic was the stillraging coronavirus pandemic. Wallace pointed out that cases were up 194 nationwide, but trump wasnt worried. Many of those cases are young people that would heal in a day. They have the sniffles and we put it down as a test. Stephen mr. President , you cant downplay this virus by calling it the sniffles. People arent dying of lung booboos or brain ouchies. Hes also tried to minimize spikes in case numbers by calling them embers. And wallace called him on it but this isnt burning embers, sir . This is a forest fire. No, no. But i dont say i say flames, well put out the flames. And well put out in some cases just burning embers. We also have burning embers. We have embers and we do have flames. Florida became more flame like. Stephen yes. Florida has become more inflamed. And thats not easy. Even before this, the state was 50 illegal fireworks, 32 meth lab explosions, 10 sunburn, and 8 herpes. Does that add up to 100 . I think it might. Im not sure. Wallace continued to hold trumps feet to the embers, pointing out americas high mortality rate we have the seventh highest mortality rate in the world. Our mortality rate is higher than brazil, its higher than russia. When you talk about mortality rates, i think its the opposite. I think we have one of the lowest mortality rates in the world. Its not true, sir. We had we had 900 deaths on a single day. We will take a look. Ready . Can you please get me the mortality rates . Kayleighs right here. I heard we have one of the lowest, maybe the lowest mortality rate anywhere in the world. Do you have the numbers, please . Because i heard we had the best mortality rate. Dr. Birx points out and this is number one low mortality rates. Stephen wow, thats an impressive stat and its completely wrong. Can we see trumps source for that . Kayleigh, can we see that . Oh, great, here we go. He got that stat out of his ass. There you go. Thank you. Thank you, kaylie. Wallace called out trumps prediction that the virus would just go away in the summer. You made mistakes too. I guess everybody makes mistakes. Ill be right eventually. I will be right eventually. Stephen you cant use eventually as an excuse for not doing your job. Like a plumber saying oh, yeah, your toilet will stop overflowin eventually. Like if the building collapses, or the earth is consumed in the everexpanding sun. Or perhaps in the ultimate inertial heat death of the universe. What im saying is those legos are really jammed in there. Wallace then asked trump about dr. Fauci hes a little bit of an alarmist. Thats ok. A little bit of an alarmist. Hes a bit of an alarmist . Little bit of an alarmist. Stephen faucis job is to sound the alarm about epidemics. Im glad trump wasnt around during the revolutionary war. as trump paul revere, little bit of an alarmist. Theres one case of redcoats coming and im pretty sure theyll disappear when it gets warmer. One if by land, two if by sea, none if by bleach. The conversation then turned t 2020 campaign, and trump had some choice madeup words about his opponent biden wants to defund the police. Sir, he does not. Look, he signed a charter with bernie sanders; i will get that one just like i was right on the mortality rate. Did you read the charter that he agrees it says nothing about defunding the police. Stephen come on, chris trump idnt come on fox news to get factchecked talk to your colleagues when trump lies, you put on a blank, dead stare, like your brain has turned into delicious polenta. Heres where the interview got really sad. Lately, trump has been bragging nonstop about passing a cognitive test. Reminder passing this test is not impressive. It checks for things like brain damage, asking real stumpers like name these three animals. Making it the most difficult test trump has taken since the one where he had to get all the pee in the cup. Its chilling to see the most powerful man in the world bragging that he passed a test they give people to find out whether they should be allowed to take the bus by themselves. as trump i nailed it, and you should see my apgar scores. The doctor touched me right here, i was able to find the nipple, and then i paid him 130,000. Now wallace said he took the test, and it wasnt that hard. You got to identify an elephant. But trump pointed out the questions get way harder its all misrepresentation, because, yes, the first few questions are easy. But ill bet you couldnt even answer the last five questions. Ill bet you couldnt. They get very hard. Stephen yes, those are the tough ones. According to a sample version of the test, the last five questions are, and this is real name the day, month, year, place, and city. Right now, i would say march 123rd, 2000 andalways, hell, and crazytown. Just when you thought the Trump Presidency couldnt get any darker, we now have horrifying footage from portland, oregon of masked, unidentified federal troops snatching protesters off the streets without a warrant or any probable cause, and throwing them into unmarked vehicles. Who are you . Well get you out. Whats your name tell us your name. Whats your name . Okay, youre ,fine well get you out. Stephen you know whats Never Associated with good news unmarked vans. Hey, honey, i think the pizzas here. Im not sure. Theres no license plate. But the guy in the drivers seat is waving us over. Cmon bring the kids this wasnt an isolated incident. Heres another video of the feds hopping into an unmarked car. No. Dont pull the door. I just pushed the button. Just let it. Just let it close. Why do you always do that, hank . Obviously this is chilling, but also, minivans . Really . If im going to be unaccountably rendered to a blacksite, i dont want to hear this alright, get him in the back. Wait, take out the baby seat. I did take it out. No you just took out the top. You left the base in. Oh, lord, its full of cheerios and raisins. This is embarrassing. Just give him the ipad, let him watch peppa pig while we figure it out. Ahh its all sticky. So who are these unmarked kidnappers . Apparently, they are officers from the u. S. Marshals special Operations Group and u. S. Customs and border protections Border Patrol tactical unit. Yes, they are tasked with patrolling mexicos long border with oregon. The customs boarder acting commissioner explained you will not see names on the uniforms because the same violent criminals use this information to target them and their families putting them both at risk. It goes without saying docking is bad. I wish it went without saying having a secret police is way worse and is trump stappo is not saying theyre just following orders. Theyre saying theyre just following executive orders. And portland mayor ted wheeler sees something sinister as best as i can tell, this is an effort a last gasp effort by a failed president with sagging polling data, whos trying to look strong for his base. Hes actually using the federal police function in support of his candidacy. Stephen explains the new Campaign Slogan trump 2020 get in the van today, in the oval office, trump defended his deployment of the feds. Portland was totally out of control, the democrats, the liberal democrats running the place had no idea what they were doing. How about chicago . I read the numbers were many People Killed over the weekend. Were looking at chicago, too, were looking at new york, look at whats going on. Stephen thats right, its not just portland. Theyre going on tour as the secret police. to the tune of roxanne unmarked van you dont have to read me miranda rights. But the department of Homeland Security reviewed the footage from the past week and admitted one mistake, that the federal officers deployed in portland didnt have proper training. Yes, our jackbooted thugs didnt have proper training in kidnap etiquette when youre putting the black bag over someones head, you have to hold your pinkies out. Theres one Group Standing up to tyranny moms. Saturday night, they made a human change between these thugs and the protesters. Feds stay clear, moms are here feds stay clear, moms are here feds stay clear, moms are here stephen you know things are bad when mom shows up. Shes not mad, shes just disappointed that we no longer have constitutional rights. And, of course, the officers saw the group of mothers, reflected on what we have become as a country, and walked away. Im just kidding, they shoved the moms and attacked with tear gas and flash grenades. You really think you can scare a group of moms . they push entire humans out of their vaginas and then smile for a picture and they do it just by breathing a lot compared to that, tear gas is a walk in the episiotomy dont know what that is . Ask your mother if youve got the guts. By the way, call your mother. Weve got a great show for you tonight. Watch what happens live host andy cohen is here. But when we come back, well talk about a friend we all lost this weekend, congressman john lewis. The dove men care 3in1 bar is unique. It can be used on the hands, body, and face. It cleanses and moistuizes with 1 4 moisturizing cream. Leaving your skin feeling comfortable and smooth. Dove men care 3in1 bar. An extra 15 percent credit on car and motorcycle policies . Ok . Thats 15 percent on top of what geico could already save you. So what are you waiting for . Dj khaled to be your motivational coach . Yo devin remember to brush in a circle motion. Thank you. Dj. Khaled. Tiny circles, devin. Do another one. Another one. Is this good . Put in that work, devin. Dont give up. Geico. Save an extra 15 when you switch by october 7th. Can match the power of energizer. Because energizer ultimate lithium is the longest lasting aa battery in the world. [confetti cannon popping] energizer. Backed by science. Matched by no one. Off deep woods provides long lasting mosquito protection so you can focus on what means the most. Off sc johnson a mobile plan that blows away those highpriced plans boost mobiles all new hrinkit plan the longer you stay, the less you pay. Watch your bill shrink to 35 month after just 6 ontime payments. Plus get a free lg k51 when you switch on our new, upgraded network. Boost mobile. Hey, im going to need you to. Never mind. Cant touch this. Help you cant touch this. You cant touch this. You cant touch this. I trust you. Stop, hammer time i touched it new cheetos popcorn. Its a cheetos thing. This is about the next 10 years. Pero hoy, tu puedes hacer algo. You can make a difference today by completing the census. The census impacts everything from hospitals, schools and public transportation. It is more important than ever before that everyones voice is heard. The census builds america, so the census count should look like america. Shape the future of brooklyn. Kansas city. Tucson. Atlanta. Oregon. Los angeles. D. C. Start here at 2020census. Gov. Stephen welcome back. This weekend, we lost a giant. Friend of the show, friend of the america we all aspire to, congressman john lewis. To say he was a civil rights icon feels like an understatement. In the 1960s, he was among the original 13 freedom riders arrested in mississippi. He organized and participated in lunchcounter sitins, he led one of the most famous marches in American History across the Edmund Pettus bridge in selma, alabama, and along with mlk, he was a speaker at the march on washington when he was just twenty three years old. Hed already done more for the country at 23 than most do in a lifetime. At 23, i didnt think i was ready to be a dungeon master yet. Congressman lewis efforts to make this country better did not stop there. He went on to serve the people of atlanta for over 30 years in the house and was referred to by his colleagues as, the conscience of the congress. He mustve been exhausted. He was like the angel on congress shoulder, and on the other shoulder was congress. John lewis was a hero. Thats a given. Everybody knows that. But we tend to carve our heroes in marble and forget the other sides of them. Like the fact that john lewis was fun. Example number one he wrote a graphic novel about himself already a baller move and then when he went to comic con in 2015 to promote it, he cosplayed as his younger self and led a march around comic con. Give that man a shield, because thats captain america. What i love is how positive he stayed while fighting injustice. Sometimes, he was just joyful. Like this moment from 2018 motion to immediately put dancing john lewis on all of our money. Ben franklin, youve had a good ride. Throughout his career fighting for civil rights, lewis repeatedly put his body on the line, as a freedom rider, at the Edmund Pettus bridge, and then, at the age of 76, crowdsurfing the audience at the ed sullivan theater. Not only does that remind us of how joyful he was, but it reminds me of a better time when it was okay for a crowd of strangers to touch an old man. Or, for that matter, to be a crowd of strangers. Over the weekend, people were paying their respects to john lewis. And some were paying their respects to who they thought was john lewis. Like senator marco rubio, who posted this tribute on twitter it was an honor to know and be blessed with the opportunity to serve in congress with john lewis, a genuine and historic American Hero. A lovely sentiment, one problem thats not john lewis. That is the late congressman elijah cummings. A giant in his own right, but not john lewis. But still better than rubios first draft it was an honor to know john lewis. Not only was he a civil rights icon, but he led the Chicago Bulls to six nba championships. Im not the only one who interviewed john lewis, though. So did jon batiste jon in 1961, the same year that president barack obama was born, black people and white people couldnt be seated together on a greyhound or tailway bus, even in washington. In 1961, my seatmate was a young white gentlemon. The two of us left washington and arrived in South Carolina at the bus station. A group from the klan met us and left us lying in the pool of blood when we tried to enter this socalled white waiting room. This was may 1961. Many years later, to be exact, in february 2009, one member of the klan, one of the guys who was beating us in the 70s came to my office in washington with his son in his 40s, and he said, mr. Lewis, im one of the people that beat you and your seatmate. He said, will you forgive me . I want to apologize. And his son started crying. He started crying. And i said, i accept your apology. I forgive you. They hugged me, i hugged them back, and i started crying. And thats the power of the way of peace, of the way of love and nonviolence. As dr. King said, hate is too heavy a burden to bear. Jon hate is too heavy a burden to bear. Yes. Jon mmm. Love is a better way. So all of the people that beat me and arrested me and threw me in jail, i dont have any ill feeling at all, not at all. Jon mmm. I feel free. Jon whew. I feel good. I feel free. Stephen jons with us now. Hello, jon. Jon hello. How you doing, stephen . Stephen that was a beautiful conversation you were having with congressman lewis. Theres a tenman version well put up online tonight. Wonderful to see you two together. What was it like to spend that time with him and what did john lewis mean to you . Jon jon he is such an ideal to me, of who i aspire to be in life. He embodies the symptoms of holiness, he exists as a truly righteous person. Everything thats left in his wake the thing politically, socially, culturally, everything weve learned in how to march, how to be revolutionaries without holding hate in our heart everything weve learned from his life example is the definition of righteousness love, joy, patience, kindness, selfcontroe things, to see a person embody that in front of you is proof that not only is it possible but an invitation to all of us to be great. He is inviting us to our greatness. Stephen well, however john lewis would describe himself jon right. Stephen everyone described him as a giant. I did tonight. All these remembrances of him over the weekend, they called him a giant. Jon absolutely. Stephen but the thing about knowing that there are giants living out there is that, in some ways, it allows you not to take the responsibility to to the right thing. You can put all of that necessity for moral behavior on them. Jon right. Stephen on the theory of them, on the idea that theyre there. Jon yes. Stephen the philosophical, the ethical. Jon right. Stephen the responsibility of love goes on that person who did that thing that you could never do. Jon i could never do, and it becomes impractical for you. Stephen right. But when they die, the memory of that person, in some ways, is an accusation. The beauty of john lewis is an accusation that you are not standing tall enough. Jon right. Stephen and that and i like what you said it is an invitation. Its an invitation to stand up and to do the right thing when you can. And that it is holy. It is a call to holiness in that its a call to wholeness, the whole of your humanity. Jon exactly right. Stephen because thats what hes talking about in that clip we just saw between you and him is hes talking about jon a burden to bear. Stephen exactly. He is accepting his own suffering, the suffering to have man who made him suffer. Jon yes. Stephen and hes accepting the whole of his humanity. It is an achievable thing. Jon right. Stephen but an extremely hard thing to do. Jon yes. Stephen and i am left with the beauty of his life and the example and the invitation and, on a small level, the accusation that all of us should stand up. Jon mmhmm, absolutely. His life invites us to stand up and to be human, to be whole. Stephen is there any music that comes to you when you think of john lewis . Jon oh, the grace. Stephen thank you, jon. Jon thank you, stephen. Stephen and thank you, john lewis. Well be right back with andy cohen. Stick around. Never run dry of. Killer attitude. Or hydration. Neutrogena® hydro boost. The 1 hyaluronic acid moisturizer delivers 2x the hydration for supple, bouncy skin. Neutrogena®. Scratch that, baby, im grateful. Got to say its really been a while but now i got back that smile. Smile. Check everything off the list with lower prices and hundreds of deals. Get ready for school at target. 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[indistinct chatter] thisll be what they was waiting on from me thisll be the realest story that ive ever told its a trap if they say they want you to be the same yeah, yeah. Damn sure innit, everything vivid ive got one life and i might just live it ive got one life and i might just live it your bank can be virtually any place you are. You can deposit checks from here. And you can see your transactions and check your balance from here. And pay bills from here. Because your bank isnt just one place. Its virtually any place you are. Just download and use the chase mobile app. Visit chase. Com mobile. Hi. Whats on your mind . In. Can you help keep these guys protected online . Easy. Connect to the xfi gateway. What about wireless data options for the family . You can customize and save. What about internet speeds that can keep up with my gaming . Lets hook you up with the Fastest Internet from xfinity. And now with our stores reopening, were putting Healthy Practices in place. Come visit a store today. Stop in or book an appointment online at a time that works for you. Now thats simple, easy, awesome. Ask. Shop. Discover at your local xfinity store today. Stephen welcome back. Hi jon. Stephen you know him as the host of watch what happens live and the force behind so many shows on bravo. His latest is the animated quibi series the andy cohen diaries. Please welcome to a late show, andy cohen hello, andy cohen. Well, hello there you going for a pony tail or whats the end game there, man . Stephen im getting look at that lettuce back there. Yeah stephen look at that. You could make a cobb salad, baby. Absolutely, party in the back, dude. Stephen and party in the frt. Look at that. Come on yeah stephen how about you . Youre looking wavy, hippiedippy. You got a kiss curl right up there. Yes, i do. Yes, i do. Stephen is this going to be permanent now . Is this going to survive the quarantine, this new look . Youre casual with a little skin, obviously selling a little tickets. I always like to show something here, but i love not wearing a suit on what happens live. You were on my show months ago and youre still in the same spot, your hair is longer, your wife is now doing your floor direction. Stephen my wife evie is now my crew over here. I know, i know. There are some aspects of it that are pleasant that we get to see into the stars homes. Thats nice. Thats fun. Stephen whats your experience been like, you know, hosting . You know, its odd because does it feel like you tid a real show when youre done . And one of the things that i love about the experience of doing my show is not just the interaction with my guests or my audience, but i love hanging out, you know, shooting the crap with my staff, and, so, i force them to do a kind of a debrief after every episode over zoom, and it has gotten so uncomfortable, because theres all these boxes just sitting there looking at me, and they look like im holding them hostage, which at this point i think i am. They want to go back to their life, but i want to be like, hey, we just did a show lets talk stephen well, hold on a second here. So watch what happens live, is it live . At this moment, we are not live. Stephen thats against the law, then. You have to call it watch what happened a couple of hours ago. Yeah, were putting it together with scotch tape and staples at this point. I dont know even know how the show is being trance mid. If we were lowtech before, i dont know even know what it is. Stephen i have been on your show several times, its a lovely experience, but it does feel a little like, hey, my dad has a tv studio, lets put on a show tonight. Its casual. Thank you for considering me a dad. Stephen you are a dad. I actually am a dad. But also, i could tell you what every celebritys wifi strength is. Stephen whos got wifi game . Goldie hawn, great. Oliver hudson, her son, poor. The entire cal l calabasis regif california, poor. I hear even the kardashians have very poor wifi. Stephen wow. Thats what i hear. Stephen that is shocking. One of the silver elinings of the last few months for me has been more time with my family. Now, yo youre a new dad. You go to work, still at home, you end work, youre already there. Whats that been like to spend more time with family . Its so great. I truly get to put him to bed and wake him up every morning, and im with him. We have activities every morning, and were together so much. Stephen thats the teaser, whats the activities . Activities. Stephen what activities do you do . Oh, my gosh, we throw rocks in the water. We go to the dump. One of my favorite things to do is go to the dump in sag harbor, the town dump, and there are alwaysaways there and i sort my stuff. I feel very accomplished. He seems to love it. Stephen wait a second, there are alwaysaways there. Ill show you something i got at the town dump. Stephen hes bringing some garbage. They often have books theyre giving away. What about this Sally Jesse Rafael paper back. Stephen you could learn a lot. Got that at the dump. Stephen theres worse advice. Yeah. Stephen so how old is ben now . Ben is 17 months. Stephen okay. And, you know, hes so great and hes so fun and hes such a good boy. Every morning, i look in that diaper to see what kind of poop hes serving meup. Stephen sure. But i got to tell you, im starting to get paranoid because i have no poker face. So my reaction to his poop is so oversized, and if its a messy poop or theres corn or something in there i dont want to deal with, i literally am, like gagging and he looks at me and i feel terrified im going to constipate this child or make him constipated because im reacting so crazily. But if its full of rocks which are easy to navigate, im great. Stephen he will value your honesty. Thats what hes learning from you, emotional honesty. Very good. I should have a sip of his sippy cup while i talk to you. Stephen oh oh, thats good. By the way, speaking of sippy cups, whats it like to host your show because i have been there a few times, you ply your guests with ample alcohol before you ever go on the show, and it greases the wheels of the conversation. Whats it like now talking to sober guests . I know theyre mainly sobe and im mainly sobe, too. Stephen you have to be because you have to be ready to deal with the diaper. I know. Stephen its one of the challenges. Its also not 11 00 when im doing it. Im not a big day drinker. I can be a rosee all day guy. Stephen sure. As a dad. Stephen as a dad, its good not to be a day drinker. Its odd, you know, but people come to my studio, and its so small and they really dont believe were actually transmitting a broadcast out of there. Stephen i will tell you, this is a true story, im telling america this, not you. This is a true story. When you go on, watch what happens live, which is a delightful experience. But one to have the unnerving parts of it is that you enter you the host start of start the show so casually that i have been on three times now, Something Like that, or four including the zoom one, and go, has the show started . We were just talking. Is this broadcast . What did i say . And then youre sort of in commercial break and you go, wait, are we in commercial break or recording now. Its cobb fusing. Stephen i think its purposeful. I will say it does carry over. People in this format, do they know whether theyre on tv or not or on their computer . Stephen hold on, we should Start Recording some of the conversation. Okay, good. Stephen we have to take a quick break but stick around, everybody. Back with more andy cohen. Prices. St we give you both. Switch your family from at t or verizon to tmobile and you will save up to 50 off your Current Service and smart phones. 50 with three or more lines of essentials with unlimited talk, text and data. All on a network built with our best signals for coverage. And keep your current phones. Well pay them off up to 450 bucks each. Now get an Amazing Network for an amazing price. Only at tmobile. Theyre going to be paying for this for a long time. They will, but with accident forgiveness allstate wont raise your rates just because of an accident, even if its your fault. Cut sonny. Was that good . Line the desert never lies. Isnt that what i said . No you were talking about allstate and insurance. I just. When i. Lets try again. Everybody back to one. Accident forgiveness from allstate. Click or call for a quote today. Its like walking into the Chocolate Factory and you won a golden ticket. All of these are face masks. This looks like a bottle of vodka. But when we first got these, we were like whoa [laughing] my threeyearold, when we get a box delivered, screams mommys work mommys work. With this pandemic, safety is even more important to make sure we go home safe every single day. Sweetnsour, spicy buffalo, tangy bbq. Each mcnugget, a chance to diversify your sauce portfolio. Ba da ba ba ba its interesting what happens when you treat every little piece of a thing. Like its not just one thing. But everything. Because when each part does everything better than ever. Imagine what you can do with the sum of those parts. The new dell xps 10th gen intel bong vo . Especially when your easilyg distracted teenager has the car. At subaru, were taking on distracted driving. With sensors that alert you when your eyes are off the road. The subaru forester. The safest forester ever. Stephen hey, everybody, were back with star of stage and screen andy cohen. Tell me about your new animated series the andy cohen diaries on quibi. Yeah, its on quibi, and i wrote two versions or two additions of the the andy cohen diaries. Stephen i remember. That were published. Now im writing new entries, and theyre animated, which is awesome, because anyone i come in contact with, i can just animate them into the show, its great. Stephen its about the only things still in production right now. Late night shows and animation. Exactly. Its a really fun show. Stephen the First Episode is when you had celine dion. I had celine dion on the show which is a big get for us. Were such huge fans of hearse and had so much fun. I have been doing watch what happens live for eleven years, and ive only passed gas in front of two guests. One was real housewives of Beverly Hills yolanda hadid, and the other was the greatest singer of all time miss celine dion. So i wrote about that eperience. Stephen did she notice. Unclear. I was fanning my cards wildly as we came back from break, and i have to assume that she wondered why i was gesticulating wildly. But, again, as you know, my studio is so small. Stephen it is tiny. That i have to assume that i dont know. Stephen thats the great thing about the ed sullivan theater. Its cavernous and its cold. But it begs the question stephen yes. Have you ever experienced this in front of a guest . Stephen im afraid thats all we have time for, andy. The andy cohen diaries is on quibi now. Andy cohen, everybody. Well be right back with a performance by phoebe bridgers. Instinctto protect. Thats why they trust raid ant and roach to quickly protect their family. Raid. Americas most trusted insect control brand. Sc johnson insect control brand. However you go back, weve got your back. 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Theres no dry time makes us wonder why we booked fifteensecond ad slots dries instantly and keeps you protected for fortyeighthours. Well the names have all. Welcome back, america. It sure is good to see you. This selenite grey is so pretty isnt it . Wow. Jim could you pop the hood for us . There she is. Turbocharged, right . Yes it is. Jim, could you uh kick the tires . Oh yes. Can you change the color inside the car . Oh sure. How about blue . Thats more cyan but. Jump in the back seat, jim. Act like my kids. How much longer . Exactly how they sound. Its got massaging seats too, right . Oh yeahhhhh. Oh yeahhhhh. Visit the mercedesbenz summer event or shop online at participating dealers. Get 0 apr financing up to 36 months on select new and certified preowned models. Neutrogena® rapid wrinkle repair®. Weve got the retinol that gives you results in one week. Not just any retinol. Accelerated retinol sa. For not only smoother skin in one day, but youngerlooking skin in just one week. And thats clinically proven. Results that fast or your money back. Unless youre attached to your wrinkles. One week is all it takes. Neutrogena®. Sweetnsour, spicy buffalo, tangy bbq. Each mcnugget, a chance to diversify your sauce portfolio. Ba da ba ba ba join tscore savings andet pdeals in store and online. E. Plus, help target support your community. Enjoy exclusives just for you, at no cost to you. Join target circle for free today. Stephen welcome back. Performing kyoto from her new album, punisher, ladies and gentlemen, phoebe bridgers day off in kyoto i got bored at the temple looked around at the 711 the band took the speed train went to the arcade i wanted to go but i didnt you called me from a payphone they still got pay phones it cost a dollar a minute to tell me youre getting sober and you wrote me a letter but i dont have to read it im gonna kill you if you dont beat me to it dreaming through tokyo skies i wanted to see the world then i flew over the ocean and i changed my mind sunsets been a freak show on the weekend so ive been driving out to the suburbs to park at the goodwill and stare at the chem trails with my little brother he said you called on his birthday you were off by like ten days but you get a few points for trying remember getting the truck fixed when you let us drive it twentyfive felt like flying i dont forgive you but please dont hold me to it born under scorpio skies i wanted to see the world through your eyes until it happened then i changed my mind guess i lied im a liar who lies cause im a liar stephen thank you, phoebe. Well be right back. Stephen well, thats it for a late show, even. Tune in tomorrow when my guest will be greta thunberg. Goodnight. Now lets say goodnight with an extnded cut of American Hero rep. John lewis crowdsurfing. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show, oh, oh the late late show oh, oh its the late late show captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show, oh, oh the late late show oh, oh its the late late show