Its a late show with stephen colbert. Tonight stephen welcomes jake tapper. And musical guest benny featuring jon battiste and stay hohmann. And now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater, its stephen colbert. Stephen welcome, welcome one and all to a late show and puppet theater. Im your host stephen colbert, that will make sense later. Now i hope you all had a good weekend, not that i am conceding that there was a weekend, that is for the courts to decide, the coronavirus continues to surge across the country, and ill tell you the latest in my viral segments catch a third wave endless bummer. Hot blooded, check it and see. Youll have a fever of a 103 haha, yeah stephen get out, get out. Stephen the bad is getting worse. This week alone, the u. S. Added one million new coronavirus cases. But top maga scientists have a solution stop the count stop the count stop the count stephen and the worst part is, this might not be the worst, because the holidays are approaching. As one hospital director warned christmas and new years eve parties could lead to a giant, intergenerational cluster. Normally if you want to see a giant intergenerational cluster, you have to ask santa for pornhub premium. So ive heard. Local officials are scrambling to stop the spread. Los angeles mayor Eric Garcetti issued a statement, telling citizens, cancel those vacation plans right now. Do not sneak in other households for thanksgiving. Im gonna go ahead and say that second thing is just good advice under any circumstances. Theres a reason you dont hear this around the holiday table; oh, my turn . Uh, i guess im thankful that you left the basement door unlocked. Thankfully, theres advice from people who know stuff. For instance, the c. D. C. Is suggesting americans have thanksgiving outside. Okay, late november could get little nippy. So instead of a turkey i recommend serving each guest two cornish game hens, one for each hand. Now once you are outside, the cdc has plenty of additional safety recommendations such as use disposable items. Like utensils. Im sorry, why . Do other people share their silverware at thanksgiving. Nana could you pass the peas, also your fork, these carrots arent the same without the sweet zing of fixodent. I dont understand that at all. I dont. Cdc also recommends bring your own food. So just tell your aunt you cant have any of her hot fruit casserole this year because it is dr. Faucis orders, no other reason, i love hot fruit. They also advise using single use options like salad dressings and condiment packets. I knew tra drew i knew that drawer of condiment packets would come in handy. Uncle carl, heres your mashed potatoes and a packet of teriyaki sauce from 1997. Its got a picture of frasier on it. Remember frasier days at Panda Express . So, how did things get so bad with covid . Well, for starters, theres a complete vacuum of leadership, and not just because the president sucks. It turns out he has not attended a Coronavirus Taskforce meeting in at least five months. Okay, s its november 16, five months ago was june 16. Im sorry, what was the name of the oped that the head of the Coronavirus Task force mike pence wrote in the wall street journal . There isnt a coronavirus second wave. No, just one giant tsunami of criminal stupidity. Dr. Fauci tried to explain that dr. Fauci, excuse me, oh, that joke backed up on me. Dr. Fauci tried to explain that the president is still getting vital information, kind of sort of. When we have a task when we have our taskforce meeting, its run, as you know, by Vice President pence. And the Vice President then translates that to the president himself. Stephen god, i would love to be a fly on the wall, or on the pence, when he tried to translate this information. as pence mr. President , this is dr. Badnews burger. He has some information to share with you. silly voice this is americas darkest hour huhohoh im delicious. Stephen we might need this again. That was the toughest part. Thankfully there is some good covid news. This moreming, pharmaceutical giant moderna announced that according to preliminary results their Coronavirus Vaccine is 94. 5 percent effective. The good news is there are at least two covid vaccines on the horizon. The bad news is the president may not let every american have them. Here is what he said on friday. As soon as april the as soon as april, the vaccine will be available to the entire general population, with the exception of places like new york state. Stephen so youll have to get the vaccine in new jersey, but just pick it up on your way back from getting your new legal weed, which preliminary tests show is 94. 5 dank. So the president is threatening to withhold a lifesaving vaccine from his home state, but dont worry, he has a good reason Governor Cuomo hurt his feelings. For political reasons, the governor decided, they say and, you know, i dont think its good, politically; i think its very bad from a health standpoint but he wants to take his time with the vaccine. He doesnt trust where the vaccine is coming from. Stephen what the governor actually said is that new york, like california, nevada, oregon, and washington, wants to verify the findings. For some reason, cuomo doesnt automatically trust the guy who told us to drink bleach and jam sunshine up our butts. Speaking of which, its been almost two weeks since the election, and the president still cant face that he lost. And ill give you the latest in tonights edition of our segment that just wont leave you voted for me you voted for me you voted for me you voted for me the road from the white house. You voted for me stephen well, in a stunning result the peach state georgia has finally been called macking the ultimate tally in the Electoral College biden winning with 306 to 2326789 coincidentally, the exact same number of electoral votes as 20167. So, how would you describe that final result . We won by a landslide. A landslide. A landslide. A landslide. A landslide. A tremendous landslide. Stephen and the landslide brought you down laughs i also had sex with that is right up there without is the guitar christie mcvee. Sorry linds see buckingham i had something w it was very dark, it was very dark, all i know is Muk Fleetwood can keep time, man. Biden, biden flipped five starts, georgia, orazietti arizona, michigan, pennsylvania and wisconsin, joe flipped states in the sun belt and the rust belt. I guess there is nothing suburban women like more than a reversible belt. Faced with the overwhelming what t faced with the overwhelming what actually happened, yesterday, the now lameduck president quacked, of joe biden, he won because the election was rigged. You had me at he won. The rest of it i just kind of got all warm and dreamy for. But then, the denierinchief declared backsies, tweeting, i won the election that is the digital equivalent of waking up to find grandpa screaming on the lawn. Screaming on the lawn in his underwear. You cant give a standard mental cognition test because the first question is who is the president. Now regardless of what the soon to be not president tweets, the election is over and there should be no doubt about the security and fairness of the voting in fact federal and State Government officials issued a joint statement thursday saying that this years election was the most secure in american history. Kind of ironic kind of ironic, since it defeated the most insecure president in american history. But one member of the administration is coming to their senses National Security adviser and anderson stupor, robert obrien. Today, obrien dared to say this about a possible transition to a biden administration. We may have policy disagreements, but, look, if the bidenharris ticket is determined to be the winner and its obviously things look that way now well have a very professional transition from the National Security council, theres no question about it. Stephen no surprise that obrien is starting to ease the big man out of the white house. Before serving as National Security adviser, he was special president ial envoy for hostage affairs. So we know how this is going to end. Sir, leave the building now, and we will fulfill your list of demands legal immunity, a highly inaccurate bathroom scale, a bottomless bucket of k. F. C. , you get to meet the colonel, a letter from your dad saying that he loves you, a letter from the colonel saying that he loves you, and a second bottomless bucket of k. F. C. , and a second even faller skyscraper in new york with your name on it that also, if i am reading this right, has has think about this, meanwhile instead of arguing with a tolder, biden is calmly preparing to take the reigns of the government, unfortunately the government hasnt been Company Rating he had has been denied office space and din woman explaining why she will call the cops on this cookoutk emily murphy. Murphy was installed by the resident in 2017 and has remained a loyalist. Even though biden has an insurmountable lead murphy has so far refused to certified biden as the elections winner as the president attempts to overturn the Election Results in court. That coulter that court case is, of course, snowballs chance v. Hell. But murphy doesnt seem to think this administration will last much longer, because a new report says that she recently sent a message to an associate inquiring about Employment Opportunities in 2021. This is so unfair she wont let america move on, but shes searching for the next job . Well, she should find something suitable on enableamonster. Com. This weekend there was something called the million maga march, a protest in support of the president s false claim that he was cheated out of an election win. Now, the thing about the million maga march it wasnt quite a million. Instead, attendees numbered somewhere in the tens of thousands range. 10,000, a million, thats just how they count. You round up for marches, round down for covid deaths. Its all in their text book, basic arithmaga. One person clearly not in the pocket of big reality White House Press secretary and third sister from frozen who actually wanted the town to die, kayleigh mcenany. Mcenany tweeted, more than one million marchers for president descend on the swamp in support. So the administration ends as it began, lying about crowd size. Theyve come full circle. Thats just basic geommaga. Of course, they have the right to march. And its understandable to want to have one last maga. No matter who you are, its no fun to lose. And if youre having trouble hanging up your maga hat, here are some tips that might help you cope with your loss, from people who know how it feels and now a message to donald trump voters from hill rae clinton voters. So your candidate lost. Sorry. We know it feels terrible. We have been there. But you have got to move on. So however youre feeling, here are some coping tips that helped us get through the last four years. You have got to feel your feelings. We know it is embarrassing. So find a safe space like maybe a buffalo wild wings. Practice selfcare. Take a bubble bath. Maybe cry while you listen to whatever pandora plays when you search acoustic sad. I dont know how to feel. Practice direct action. Contact your government representatives. For best results dont threaten to kidnap them. Still crushed . Then its time to break out your blender. We recommend a bottle of bourbon and pint of fudge brownie ice cream to make what we call breakfast. Or if you are feeling really overwhelmed, just tweet any vague statement of hope followed by the hashtag resistance. We wont be needing it any more, snowflake. By the way, snowflakes are beautiful and unique. Not sure how it got turned into an insult. We dont mean it that way. So chib up. Well sigh you in four years. In the mean time, you can still drink from your liberal tears mug. Just remember now theyre tears of joy. Stephen weve got a great show for you tonight. My guest is jake tapper. But when we return ill tell you about a country that is almost as bad at handling covid as we are. Stuck around. A late y . Wow. Can we get some sun . Uh, mom . Can we go to the beach . beep beep beep should we just go see a movie . Yes im always up for a good movie. Go rogue in the allnew, fiercely reimagined nissan rogue. So this aveeno® moisturizer goes beyond just soothing sensitive skin . Exactly jen calm restore oat gel is formulated with prebiotic oat. And strengthens skins moisture barrier. Uh i love it aveeno® healthy. Its our nature. ™. Crunchy oat clusters with a hotouch of honey. Ombine. Plump, juicy raisins. And tasty fiber. Into one delicious cereal . It took a lot of branstorming. Get it . Kelloggs raisin bran crunch. Two scoops of delicious. So lets give this holiday thisall the merry weve got theres a place you can go where inspiration lines the shelves. For giving gifts so thoughtful, youll outdo the elves. You see here each present is especially nice. So theyll love what you got them, and youll love the price. If you want a christmas youll always remember, this is the place to spend less, and gift better. T. J. Maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. What oh, ooh oh yeah holidits christmas oh, ooh oh yeah Christmas Glade limited Edition Holiday collection sc johnson try natures bounty sleep 3 a unique tri layer supplement, that calms you helps you fall a sleep faster and stay a sleep longer. Great sleep comes naturally with sleep 3 only from natures bounty stephen i was just complimenting whoever was work on the desk wile i was away for the weekend because i got the bone here with my name on it. And there were some bone marks on the desk. Ang somebody cleaned the bone shaders off pie desk. It is very important. A lot of the newcomers in the late night world have to know, you have to clean all the bone shaders off your desk at the end of the week or it builds up, it builds up. Hey, everybody, with that bit of wisdom out of the way lets say hello to our friend mr. Jon batiste. Hello jon batiste. Jon hello, stephen colbert, get the bone shaders away, come on. Stephen now jon, how was your weekend . Jon the weekend was blessed, i am glad to see a lot of things. I will say that. Stephen okay. For vision itself or just the things you are seeing in the world. Jon both. I think the things im seeing in the world are promising. And you know, its still a rough time but i think we are moving out of it. Im going to speak that into existence. Stephen good, good, throw it out there. Like an anchor, pull yourself toward it on the rope of your hope. Jon i like that. That is deech. Stephen jon batiste, everybody, thank you, jon. Jon yes, indeed. Stephen so folks, if the president is listening to a task force and hes not, who is elise ening to. Enter coronavirus advisor and vitamin salesman explaining why this actually isnt a pyramid scheme, scott atlas. Unlike experts like dr. Fauci and dr. Birx, atlas plan is for americans to infect each other so much they achieve something called herd immunity. Herturd because there is a bile pile of beul beep bleep. A lot of people die under the scenario of he are, d immunity, unlike dr. Fauci and dr. Birx, is he not an imnol guest, is he a neuroradiologist that does not have a background in Infectious Diseases or epidemiology an hasnt practiced medicine in nearly a decade. Call me a dreamer but slunt the person called to lead in the pandemic be an expert in i dont know, a pandemic. If my laptop breaks i take it to the genius bar, not to a semiretired podiatrist. So where did this guy come from. Well, the president brought atlas aboard largely due to his frequent fox news appearances in which he downplayed the virus. So he is an awful, awful pick for medical advisor. But slightly better than the president s second choice from fox news dr. Walkin bathtub. Atlas has been doing what any responsible physician does during a pandemic. Inciting violence in response to new lockdown measures in michigan, atlas tweeted the only way this stops is if people rise up. No, the only way this stops is if people stay home. That is like saying the only way to stop the war on drugs is if people do all the drugs. Then there will be no more drugs left. Remember kids, just say blow. But atlas denied trying to start anything tweeting hey, i was never talking at all about violence. Never would i endorse or incite violence. Never, yes, he doesnt want people to die from violence. He just wants people to die. One place that resisted lockdown and gave hrksz erd immunity a whirl is sweden. They have been seen as sort of the experimental country for all of this. I will tell you regardless of what atlas says, the results have not been good, sweden per capita death rate from the coronavirus is one of the highest in the world. That makes sense, after all death death is swedish. Well, this weekend there was a big announcement from swedens chief epidimiologist anders headmel seen here on the back jacket of a crime novel that will be turned into a mini series. In light of a huge fight in hovmentizations he admitted that swedens let them catch it policy didnt do much to increase National Immunity adding we see Community Spread in many regions simultaneously right now. Which the swedish government explained in this helpful psa. Covid19, no vaccine. Go back to quarantine. Stephen you got to land it, admitting your Public Health policy did not work takes some brass lingonberry. I want to say we should not be taking medical advice from sweden as atlas seems to be doing. They seem smart but they are mostly just blond and tall. I want to make a list right now, i will take sweden to task for the number of things that they have shanked. Let me get ready for it. Hold on. Here we go. I want to point out when i put this on. Originally in this bit i was going to be swedish with the accent and everything. And then i changed it to be just yelling in sweden and decided to keep the outfit cuz its dumb, its do i look dumb . No, sir. No. Thank you, mark. Here say number of things that sweden has shanked, number one pickled herring. We have had refrigeration for a hundred years, stop it. Okay. Here is another one maybe the Structural Integrity of all the furniture from home shouldnt depend on wooden dowell age allen wrench. The swedish bikini team, should not be funded by the swedish government. I dont even think bikini is an olympic sport, hey swedes you need to explain why the oldest surviving english language poem beowolf takes place in swend sweden i de which black licorice, tough enough without the salt. Meatballs, theyre delicious, they should be larger. Okay. Many with the lingen berry jam trk is a weird iming, jam and meatballs and i am a huge fan of the skarsgard, you cant have skarsgard and pick a lane. Have i one final message for you and i will give it to you in your native language. I assume all of that was cursing. Well be right back with cnns jake tapper. Smooth driving pays off with allstate, the safer you drive the more you save you never been in better hands allstate click or call for a quote today hello hello there he go, my baby never answers in the room steps outside, or puts it on snooze he just do whatever he do ou ee ou ou ee ou hello hello hello hello hello hello turns into magic hour. Flan brings abuela closer. And a good deal means a great deal. Everything changes. And if you have to travel for care, like sam did . Home can change, too. But, along with your donations, mcdonalds has helped Ronald McdonaldHouse Charities keep families like sams together for more than 40 years. So that not everything changes for sam with cancer. Or for his brother liam, without. mom dad we fiits good to be back. M, our subaru forester. mom it sure is. mom vo over the years, we trusted it to carry and protect the things that were most important to us. mom good boy. Remember this . mom vo we always knew we had a lot of life ahead of us. mom cmon. Hi mom vo thats why we chose a car that we knew would be there for us through it all. male vo welcome to the subaru forester. female vo get 0 apr financing for 63 months on select new 2020 models, now through november 30th. Theres no bad time to start at amazon. I like the flexibility. It also allows for picking up shifts. Safety comes first, speed comes second. Safety. Safety. Safety. Were making sure that somebody is getting their very important items. It makes me very happy. Stephen welcome back friends and neighbors, joining me tonight is an Emmy Awardwinning journalist and author who hosts the lead and state of the union on cnn, please welcome jake tapper. Hello, jake. Thank you for joining us from the news chamber. That is a very are you in a Museum Exhibit right now . My office is decorated with the posters of people who ran for president and lost. And did not win. And did not win. And so you might recognize this fellow, a member of your church. Stephen of course, al smith of dinner fame. And who else do we have. Stephen i see the hillries, i got those. You have the hillries, John Ashbrook for people who thought Richard Nixon was too liberal. Stephen george wallace. Dixie up there. There say big Strom Thurmond over there that is a Collectors Edition but i felt so gross putting it up, i stuck a Stokely Carmichael on it to make sure people understood im not down with strom. Stephen let me ask you about this office, is this your office at cnn or a home office. No, this is my my wife would never let me have this stuff at home. Stephen have you been allowed to go home this fall . Because i know it was a five day period that any time i turned on the television you were at the desk. Did you did you actually like sleep in your office or something . Did you go home at all for those five days and you have recovered. I did go home. Even if just like go home, everybody is asleep, wake up before everybody wakes up which is weird, right, its weird. Stephen yeah. I am still catching up with the sleep. Im still catching up. But im good, im fairly recovered. Stephen did you guys have to lower john king into like an ice bath every day, he never seen sat down, you had a chair. John is actually an android, as you may or may not be familiar. Stephen oh no, all the evidence is there. Weve constructed him. I mean how do you think he works that machine so well. Stephen no emotion, absolutely. Yes, he finds it fun. Stephen there have been four areas of no sleep though. Yes. Stephen i, i, i pointed out the other day that someone had put up a very lovely photo of you. And i said it was very nice for someone to put up your prom photo is when cnn won the week. He said yes, those four years have aged us. I want to point out, this is you, this is you in 2016. Before all this mishuga. And this is you today, this is okay. By before you get mad at me for pointing this out, this is me in 2016, okay. This is me today, two actual photographs of me. Can i say. Stephen yeah. To outgoing President Trump, credit, he looks the exact same. He looks the exact same. He is the only president in the history of this country who has not aged a day. Its just we all aged 30 years. Stephen yes, were the picture of dorian gray t is not supposed to work that way. Like barack obama, when he started he was young, he was like a will smith, eight years later, morgan freeman. Stephen yeah, but very distinguished. It happens. Stephen have you read his book yet . No. Stephen 701, how much . 700 and pages, i loved it, it was great. It was supposed to be a memoir. And now its at least going to be two volumes. My guess is it will end up being at least five. Stephen it is like he is his own robert caro. Now you, we are still in weird limbo right now. Yeah. Stephen where we dont know what the guy who is leaving is going to do or how hes going to handle the prospect of leaving. What is that like what does that do to you journalists who are actually having to report on whats happening. We know how is he going to handle it in one sense, we know it is going to be poorly. Hes not dealing with defeat well. Hes not accepted it. So what is it like dealing with it, i mean i just think part of it is just explaining to people he lost. That is the reality. There is no legal palt path, all of these lawsuits with a couple of exceptions are ridiculous. There is no way he is going to overturn enough votes in enough states it is just not going to happen. Stephen do you have guests that come on and say well, well see. No. Stephen you dont . No, i dont books to guests. Stephen not any more. I stopped booking just out and out liars awhile ago. But i mean yeah, no, joe biden will be sworn in on january 20th, 2021. Period. Stephen well see. Well see. No, there is no well see. Stephen a lot of curt cases out there, jake. I looked that a bunch of them, you know. Stephen really . And theyre nonsense. Like its honestly, its like because the standard of evidence in a court room say little higher than on twitter. Stephen sure. So as donald trump says, we dont have any observers in that Philadelphia Convention center counting room. And then somebody tries to present that, in court. And the judge says how many do you have. How many observers and the lawyer sheepishly says we have a, this say quote, there is a nonzero number. A nonzero number of observers. Stephen so some. Yeah. Stephen and i believe the judge then said get the [bleep] out. Right, right. Stephen but jake, i want to he are mind you, i want to remind you that Rudy Giuliani is in charge now, rudy is in the drivers seat now, anything could happen. Physical laws of the universe no longer apply if rudy is going to take over this thing. I think anybody who watched the press conference at four seasons total landscaping north of the bruj right near the sex shop and across the street from the crematorium where he presented his evidence which included somebody from new jersey who was a registered sex o fippedder, i think anybody who saw that would think this is the clarence dar owe of our time darrow of our time. Stephen we have to take a break but when we come back i will ask jake about his kfertionz with Anthony Fauci about how tho lack of transition is going to slow down covid preparedness. Well be right back. Finally, theres a way to turn your coffee into a dipping sauce. Meet the new bakery sweets at mcdonalds ba da ba ba ba teen mom. It happened again. vo add some thrill to your wish list. At the season of audi sales event. Oh, oh, announcer ® onceweekly ozempic® is helping many people with type 2 diabetes like emily lower their blood sugar. A majority of adults who took ozempic® reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. Heres your a1c. Oh my a1c is under 7 announcer and you may lose weight. Adults who took ozempic® lost on average up to 12 pounds. I lost almost 12 pounds oh announcer for those also with known heart disease, ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as heart attack, stroke, or death. It lowers the risk. Oh and i only have to take it once a week. Oh oh, oh, oh, ozempic® announcer ozempic® is not for people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. Do not share needles or pens. Dont reuse needles. Do not take ozempic® if you have a personal or Family History of medullary thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if you are allergic to ozempic®. Stop taking ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, itching, rash, or trouble breathing. Serious side effects may include pancreatitis. Tell your doctor if you have Diabetic Retinopathy or vision changes. Taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may increase low blood sugar risk. Common side effects are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach pain, and constipation. Some side effects can lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. Onceweekly ozempic® is helping me reach my blood sugar goal. Oh, oh, oh, ozempic® you may pay as little as 25 for a 1month or 3month prescription. Ask your Health Care Provider today about onceweekly ozempic®. Stephen hey, everybody, were back with jake tapper. You interviewed fauci yesterday. I did. Stephen what did he have to say about the delayed transition . Is that going to make it harder for the government to do the distribution . Are we all less safe because of that . I mean yeah, of course. He said as a Public Healths perspective of course it would be better to be working with the bidenharris team to be able to prepare for the transition and president elect bieden said as much today. I mean, they are going to be taking over. They need to be ready to go. And you know, they say they need to know what the plans are. The white house, some press secretary at the white house said heres the plan and he just, there was some link to the public plan as if that is all that is needed. Yeah, i mean. Its just it is hard to come up with a sense of dismay that i feel covering this just because its just the transfer of power. We go through this every four to eight years. And this kabooki, this pretense that everybody should be coddling Donald Trumps feelings like he is a five year old whose pet turtle just died. Like we should all just worry about him and not like have people doing what in the mill taryl they call right seat left seat which is preparing to take over. I just dont even know what to say except, you know, this will be over by january 209, presumably. Stephen in 2018 you toll me you just want facts to be respected again in this country. Do you see that happening, jake tapper. No, its even worse today than it was in 2018. That is one of the lessons of this entire era is no matter how bad st on if i given day, tomorrow will be worse. Stephen but do you think that maybe like that comes from the top and that somebody at the top now is going like yeah, i accept those facts. Might actually trickle down. They receiptically that is the hope for those of us who will in the factloving business. But yes, i mean look, the president is lying about two things right now. One is how bad the pandemic is. And it is horrible. And it is getting worse. And two is the Election Results. So these are serious things of major consequence. And tense of millions of americans believe his lie. And that is just distressing. Stephen lets move on to something more happy, okay. Yeah. Stephen happier, i think they call that. Your book from your novel, it was the 2018 hell fire club, is being a damented into a tv, is it a series, is it. A tv series, yeah. Stephen it is all about like intrigue in washington d. C. In the 1950s, right. 1950s, joe mccarthy. Stephen sure. Any chance for a tapper camio . Because one of the characters has an acute sense of smell which we know that you have. Thats true. But that character is the hero and i am not young, handsome or talented enough to be that person. I might, i might do a camio but i will tell you something, you, you actually should be in it. Because i know you actually have acting chops. And there are some roles in it that, i mean what about senator estes keyfaffer from tennessee. Stephen are you kidding, he was a Vice President ial candidate, at one point. Thats right. Stephen with ice, in the with. Stephen adelaide stevenson. You would be good at that. You would be good in that role. Stephen people have often called me keyfawferresque. Jake, we have to go, thanks sto much for stopping by. I understand you have an Important Message to tell people. Every year i have an auction to raise money for wounded veterans to build homes force them. You always, you always kick in with a visit to the set and a meet and greet, it very generous. This year obviously because of the pandemic are you not doing that. You donated a zaneious suit, people can go to ebay. Com hfot homes for our troops and all of your stands, all of the colbert stands can bid on your suit and get that money going for the wounded veteran. Stephen i suit i actually wore on the show and just moild mildly soiled. Well. Well, i hope not too much because im one much the bidders. Stephen no, it is dry cleaned, obviously, dry cleaned, jake, all been sterilized. With the blood of your least favorite guest. Stephen the lead with jake tapper airs weekdays on cnn. His name is jake tapper, everybody. Well be right back with a performance by beni. Thank you, jake. When panhe doesnt justs mmake a pizza. He uses fresh, clean ingredients to make a masterpiece. Taste our delicious new flatbread pizzas today. Panera. Push the button the time has come to galvanize sweetheart, do my forearms look bigger . They look the same. Ive been spinning faster recently. I think theyre getting bigger. Feel them. [ television plays indistinctly ] yeah, they kind of feel bigger. Yeah, cool. [ grunts ] sorry. Switch to progressive and you can save hundreds you know, like the sign says. Switch to progressive and you can save hundreds. Crunchy oat clusters with a hotouch of honey. Ombine. Plump, juicy raisins. And tasty fiber. Into one delicious cereal . It took a lot of branstorming. Get it . Kelloggs raisin bran crunch. Two scoops of delicious. Stephen a celebration as President Trumps motorcade drove through downtown washington. The event billed as a million maga march. For President Trump wile you can because the guy he put in charge of the coup is Rudy Giuliani so i guarantee trump charge of the coup is Rudy Giuliani so i guarantee trump will be gone in two months. Th youll outdo the elves. If you want a christmas youll always remember, this is the place to spend less, and gift better. T. J. Maxx, marshalls, and homegoods. Did you get a streuseltopped blueberry muffin because its a special day . Or is it a special day because you got a streuseltopped blueberry muffin . Meet the new bakery sweets at mcdonalds ba da ba ba ba visibly fades the dark spots away. New neutrogena® rapid tone repair 20 percent pure vitamin c. A serum so powerful dark spots dont stand a chance. See what i mean . Neutrogena® good mormore treatment . Were going to try Something Different today. Hi awwww, so pretty. Dogs bring out the good in us. Pedigree® brings out the good in them. Turns into magic hour. Flan brings abuela closer. And a good deal means a great deal. Thats why i take osteo biflex, to keep me moving the way i was made to. It nourishes and strengthens my joints for the long term. While helping with occasional joint stiffness. Osteo biflex. Stephen welcome back. Performing happen to me from her debut album, hey u x, benee. Hope i dont die inside a plane id like to die a better way and if i live to an old age i would have seen everything change i understand why people leave but leaving seems scary to me i think about these things too much my mind likes to wind itself up and i dont get a lot of sleep cause what if they happen to me . cause what if they happen to me . Yeah, what if they happen to me . What if my room what if my room burns down in flames . And i die in my sleep and never wake you say i shouldnt be this way but i dont think that i can change i think about these things too much my mind likes to wind itself up and i dont get a lot of sleep cause what if they happen to me . cause what if they happen to me . Yeah, what if they happen to me . I think about these things too much my mind likes to wind itself up and i dont get a lot of sleep cause what if they happen to me . Stephen benee, everybody. Well be right back give you my world how can i, when you wont take it from me you can go your own way xfinity mobiles fast nationwide 5g network meets the first iphone with 5g. Get the new iphone 12 on xfinity mobile. And right now get 250 off. Learn more at an xfinity store today. Stephen thats it for a late show, everybody. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be formula one champion lewis hamilton, and musical guest, andrea bocelli. James corden is next. Good night. Captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org captioning sponsored by cbs the late late show, oh, oh the late late show, ooh the late late show, oh, oh the late late show oh, oh its the late late show