Rights advocate whose husband was murdered. Shell tell us what she learned while volunteering in san quentin. First well look at inmatesar cipating in a unique program. One thats helping them tell their stories in their own words. When a person decidesan to , they want everyone to know that theyve changed. So its important to get that out. Television portrays prison as this native place where people are just running around being violent. But san quentin is actually totally opposite from that. These guys are going to college every day. Theyre going to selfhelp groups. Theyre going to religious services. Everyone here is trying to get out of prison, not stay in prison. I got to san quentin in 1984 via l. A. County jail. T i wad since 2012 weve been working on ael storng project and really the overarching idea is of ell the hidden stories life inside told from the perspective of those who live it. As soon as i got off the bus, i got extra cold because i wasnt wearing underwear. Thats how they transporteds back in the day, buck naked with a red jumpsuit. If the bus crashed and you escaped, you would be running around naked. This project was put together by the san quentin Media Production team. Imnervous, thats what this is. We helped the men edit their stories and present them. So i covered myself in tattoos of hate and violence. It gives guys a littlegeore couto say, okay, i might be able to do that one day. More than anything, that really scared me. Ihink it also makes vulnerability look okay. Because if you can be vulnerable in front of this group and tell your story, its anot breaking down the barrier. I didnt want to disappoint my pops and get kicked out. I took i at that moment i turned around and walked away and a tear came out of my eye because i felt like what have i gotten myself into. I hate mornings. Theres nothing worse than waking up from your dreams to a cell whose 6x9 confines stretches to the horizon of your future. Its like waking up in a mb. Its a reminder that to society, your friends, t your high school sweetheart, youre dead. People have their own preconceptions about what people prison are about. I think these pieces break down the walls. Itsore complexhan what your prejudices are. We did ait where i portrayed someone living an alternative lifestyle. Surprisingly enough, i really had the time of my life. I was onstage talking about, uh h, no you didnt, hold up, hold up, hold up. Now, i am all woman, honey. Hat still more than a man you will ever be. Okay . [ laughter ] people in prison are people. People. E some very bad and there are some people who made some mistakes. But ultimately theyre people. And theyre a as comple you and i and the rest of society is. One thing i am not is some Goodie Goodie who thinks hes great guy for taking all these groups at san quentin. Because when i look at what iv, dohich is commit two murders, i know i could never call myself a great guy. ve taken lives. Ive hurt two families in ways that i can neve fix. Ive hurt my family. My community. So calling myself a great guy just isnt possible. People, we work hard to change our lives. We want to be different. We dont want to be that samen perat we used to be. They taught me to connect my mom cries to the cries of the victims of my families. Im hereo help everybody tell their story. See put me on a path to these painful truths about myself. But it also showed me at being able to change my life isnt just a mandatory part of my sentence. Its a blessing, which does not make me a great guy. Just the best that i can be. Thank you. [ applause ] and joining me nowom isne whose family was shattered by Violent Crime yet has become a vocal supporter of the value of rehabilitation. Dionne wilson i from californians for safety and justice, welcome. Thank you. I was watching you while watching that piece,ou were visibly deeply moved. You yourself are a passionate advocate for rehabilitation. How you got there, though,as been an unexpected journey. Your husband was a ano. Ten one night you got a knock on the door. Yeah, dan was answering routine calls,uys were out in front of an apartment complex. One of them, Irving Ramirez, had a searchable pbation because he had been cycling in and out of the system for some time he had two guns and drugs on him. So instead of running or going back to jail, he decided to shoot my husband. And he shot him seven times. You made a powerful statement to the jury. What did you say about Irving Ramirez . I said he was a monster and that he deserved to die. I wanted him to burn in hell. I was so angry. I was full of rage and vengeance. Us and i i didnt know want to i didnt know what to do other than just i just want him to suffer as much as i was suffering. And yet you became involved in working with prisoners. Why . After about 4 1 2 years of feeling that way, i became so exhausted, i couldnt do it anymore. It takes a lot of energy to hate like that. And i wore myself out. I couldnt do it anymore. And i needed a different path. And i was a lot of things happened in between, but i was introduc insight prison project. They invited me to go inside of a prison and share my story with people who had committed murder. And i thought, ooh, this is my chance, im going to tell owthe you that all of the consequences of their actions. And when i sat the with people who had caused this level of harm, and then told the my story, and they they cried with me, they were you could tell that there was something going on there that was so far beyond what i thought was possible. And i was looking at transformed people and their stories helped healme. What is the single biggest life lessonhich youve learned through your work with inmates . I think th biggest lesson is that people are redeemable, that were not the worst thing weve ever done, that unresolved trauma, trauma that isnt acknowledged in peoples lives from when they were very young has a profound efct on people and causes them to do things they wouldnt otherwise do. And i just beeved that barring extreme mental illness, that were all, were all redeemable. And we all deserve that chance to transform our liv and do something better. There is definitely positive lue in hearing their stories. What would you say to those who are reluctant to hear their stories, saying these are men who did teible elings . I know how you feel, is one of the things i would say. I was there. I didnt want to hear it. I didnt want to hear all the things irving had gone through in his childhood, how that had affected his life, how his mother struggled to dt bes the she could for him. I didnt care. I didnt want to hear it. At se point it brokethrough. And i would just say, think back on your own li and how negative experiences have impacted you, ae maybe m you do something that you werent that you didnt really think you were capable ofdoing. And how that impacts others. And just open up a little bit. Dionne wilson, we certainly are thankful you took the time to be with us today andare with us your story. I really appreciate it, thank you. Let go for you to a few of the stories these inmates have written and performed from inside san quentin. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. My name is azraal big ass ford. I grew up in Southern California whe drugs and crime ruled the day. By the time iwas21, every one of my friends had been to prison already. It wasnt a place where a kid could grow into a good man. I covered myself with thattoos f hate and violence. Th in state prison system, my world was validated. E i wasbraced for hating. I was embraced for being violent. I worked through the world like a dark knight, i let people know, if you mess with me, ill mess you up, because thats how life in here. Or thats what we tell turselves. Bun i hear about the shakespeare group. San quentin shakespeare, youki have to being me. All right, ill check it out. Theyre like, okay, were going to pretend to be nature. Pretend to be a bee. Im 280 pounds, how am i going to be a bee, right . Just pretend. Im like,all right, ill pretend. Now ill be a butterfly. Who, me . Im not a butterfly. But i tried it. I flapped my wings. People are being rabbits and people areeing rocks here im this butterfly flying around. I start to laugh, its like, is okay, thiretty cool, because when you laugh, you experience something that takes you beyond the negativity. I start to gn and they give us the play they want to do, and itsjulius caesar, everybody is like, youll make a greatulius caesar. I guess, but i dont thinkvo, because never acted before. Heres my resume, ive been a bee and a butterfly, now you want me to be julius caesar. But okay. So i get cast at julius caesar. Mark antony. Caesar, my lord. And there was a guy, his name is lee, they call him maverick. He was playing mark antony, caesars best friend, almost like his brother. Lee maverick isblack. Im white. Right . That usually doesn happen in prison. So now were acting, we have to be best friends, were comrades, were you know, like brothers. So they bring the costumes y i put it on. The tunic is really tight. Everything was for small people. Its riding up. All right, cool. We do the play. The senate kills caesar. Im laying there on the stage dead. Maverick comes up and heaves me on his shoulder,e gets me up there, ia playing d. When he slid me acrs the stage, that tight tunic pulled up. Now my butt is hanging out. I cant do anything i becau supposed to be dead. Acting is an art. You have to be dead en youre do im over mavericks shoulder. I hear this laughter. Theyre n laughing at me. Theyre laughing at what were aring with them. Its something people dont expect proners tdo. It was at that moment that i realized, you know what, the goodness is back, found. I found it in myself but also sand it in the community quentin, with the men who you know, they inspire that in each other. Theyre bent on reaching th goal. They want to be good people again, they want to give back. Li it was just e, i looked at the people that had acted in the shakespeare with me, i saw their beauty. I saw those. Ros so if we would all just take time to nurture that rose within us, we could all be bes. Utiful flow thank you. [ applause ] e my n is eric. I got to san quentin in 1984. It wa told to me san quentin was one of the most violent prisons in california. All i need to know safety first, keep me head on a civil, and as soon as i get situated, get a knife. A lot gu tougher than me didnt make it. A lot of guys weaker than me didnt make it. A l of guards didnt make it. After running with the fellas for so long, my bad behavior and actions, my nonhumanitarian thoughts, i got lucky. I got transferred. The e my way through different prisons. Now im back to the 2016, the more rehabilitative san quentin. They have volunteers coming in, teaching nonviolent conflict resolutions. They taught me the word, stop, think, observe, process situations, situations that are already violent, how not to overreact. I love you white people coming in here teaching me this stuff, i love it. Now, in here, we live in a closet. Aon man closet with two men in it. A sink, a no window. We all get the g that dont want to go nowhere, they just want to stay in the cell 24 hours day. They moved me with this cat, he tell me, let me tell you something ab i said go ahead. He dsaid, i donselfhelp. I dont go to the yard. I dont work. When i go eat, i come back. When i go to the doctor, i come back. Wewhen i go sh i come back. I said, what about me . Dt i get some me time or something . He said, get it any way you can. Now, the oldme, at that precise moment, i would have slapped him, i would he initiated contacted. No matter who he was, who he knew, i would havtiated the getdown. But the new me, the soft eric, i said, do you likefootball . He said, yeah, i like football too on sundays. But when i watch football, i watch football naked. And when im watching football, i eat nachos, naked. I call it naked nacho sunday. You should have seen his edface. He lo at me like, at that precise moment, chow time, time to eat. One of my boys was coming down, he said, eric, you moved in with that cat that dont go nowhere. I just looked in there and theres nothingn there but your stuff. I said, iguess he went somewhere. Nonviolent communication. Im soedated to nonviolence, the new eric, you got all those websites out there, im going to get mone. Www. Whoknowscrimebetter. Ask the convict eric. Thank you. [ applause ] ill never forget my firstg morn at san quentin. It was breakfas time, i step into this noisy chow hall. Im wondering, what do all these people have to talk about at 5 00 in the morning . The Correctional Officers says to me, how are you doing this morning . At first i gave him a double take, i think hes messing with me. I just dont have thece pnt to process this kind act. In high desert, a mimum security prison where i di most of my time, an officer wouldnt n k me how i was doing. It didnt happenat environment. Im looking at this guy as ive owmoving through the c line. Hes nodding, hes encouraging. I realize, this guy is serious, he really wants to know how im doing. I tell him,m like, im good. You good . Hes nodding his head, thumbs up. Hes smiling. Im smiling. I move ahead in the line, move o the next section of the chow hall. The encounter ends. But the smile continues. This officer probably didnt know it. Because he took the time to connect with my humanity when he didnt haveto, i suddenly felt inspired to connect with everyone around me. I asked more peopay that d how they were doing than i had asked since i had been incarcerated. And i learned something. The power that an individual ha to change the world with something as small as how are you dng this morning. See, becae his words lifted my mood, and because i was happier throughout the day, i wa kinder. So i envisioned this cycle where my kindness makes someone else kinder, whichelifts someon up, until were all smiling on top of the world. Now, i dont want t represent that all Correctional Officers are because theyre just not. [ laughter ] but i also think its important to note that thasnt just like a fluke. See, i live in westlock on the fourth tier. Every night i hear this officer as hes walking down the tier at last count time. T reason why i hear him is because hes stopping at guys cells, asking themabout their day. Hes just doing the things that humahebeings do they want each other to know that you matter. And every night when he comes by my cell, i stop whatever im doing, watching tv, reading a book, im like, good night, brother. He continues with the count, getting ready to go home to his family. Before he leaves he says, goo night, brothers, gentlemen, lady, good night. [ applause ] iendo yoin ddubitably, man. Im joinednow by Troy Williams who was an inmate at san quentin and was paroled in 2014, nice to have you here. Nice to you know every one of those men we just saw. You were there yourself at san quentin. What is it like to watch them tell their stories . My heart goes out. O see a bunch men who deserve a second chance, who need another second chance. And seeing so much that they can contribute out here. And you spent nearly 20 years of your life in prison. Yes. And youre getting a second chance. You participated in many rehabilitation programs while you were there. Was there a single turning point while you were on the inside . I wouldnt say a single points i think it slow turning for me, being able to watch othemen be examples, to see people come in and offer me a new set of tos, and watching certain people in the nkministration who walk with integrity, i tthey were all moments that allowed me to really reflect on my life a lot deeper. What were some of the tools that the rehab programs you . E one is really just the ability to look back, the ability to reflect on moments of my life, when i didnt make the rightdecision, having the courage to sit in that moment and look at it, we call it sitting in the fire, sitting in the moment and take a look at how i behaved andwhat i wanted to do different, and knowing that i could rewrite that. You were paroled about two years ago. What has the transition been li for you to life outside prison . Its beautiful to be home. Im s happy to be here. Its been a roller coaster ride, right . Ot every day is, you know, a great day. But my worst day out here beats my best day ever inside. So i have the ability toa e, to influence change. Thats what drives me, thats what pulls me every day. What are some of the challenges you f every day . I thinku dealing with my own mindset, right . Overcoming the, trigge overcoming things that used to get in the way in the past, right . What would some of those things be . Im the kind of guy who it was very difficult to ask for help, to ask for support. Just having the strength to know that when something is going on with me, not to be the guy who sits up and says, oh, im ood, its all good, but i can actually ask for help and know that i have pvery strong rt system out here. Whativates you to do this work, to tell these stories and to do outreach and to really be in a situation where there is some reconciliation and redemption. I look at all the people that i hurt. Not only he victims of my crime or the wrongs that ive done, but i look at how i even hurt my own children, how i hurw m mother, the things that i put them through. And how i wasted my own life. And never wanting to see another , just at the age of because hes looking for somebody to love him, he decides join a gang, right . That motivation, that pulls me every day. I know i cantgo back and rewind the clock for me. But i can certainly try to influence want ock for somebody else. What are you up to these days . What are you doing now . I am in juvenile facilities, working with young people. I deloped a program theyre utilizing there. I do media work, i continue to produce film and radio. The hope is to stay connected to san quentin and the men inside whoant to tell their stories and help the formerly incarcerated tol continue to t theirs. Whats the biggest value for you in s makingre their stories are made public . The public gets to see a of life that they dont get to see. Certain media suggests fear. And thats not who we are. Re wpeople, were human. We go through things for reason. Troy williams,k thu for your insights, thank you for being here today. Thank you. For all of kqeds news coverage, go to kqed. Org. Were going to hear dream of freedom from an inmate who is currently serving 15 years to life. Im thuy vu. Thanks for watching. This song is dedicated to everybody incarcerated now everybody worldwide, they got me dessed in a paper suit, shackled on a gray goose, looking out the window, wishing i could cut these chains california state tampers with the evidence to hang you d. A. s coaching the witnesses, no Johnny Cochran or dream team to save me r praying the man that lost his life inhis trage praying for my son growing up without his daddy they say god talks in my dreams, im waking up trying to remem what it means iad dream i could buy my y to freedom fi had a dream i could buy my way toreedom i had a dream robert democrats debate policy, and the o peter record. Im robert costa. Welcome to washington week. Democrats spar over ideology and identity and direct their sharpest jabs at joe biden. You do nothing to hold the Insurance Companies to task for what they have been doing to american families. Youre ditching to the cool aide and you dont even know the flavor. Robert but the former Vice President fought back and decaded the obama administration. I was surprised about how much incominghere was about barack. Robert and responses to a trade cut and the china talks hit a