Please please. Feel free. To. Be guided. By all. Means to. Me. If you need be. I'll be I'll be. Now we still. Got robbed. This is going up north b.b.c. Newcastle and b.b.c. And I'm stand up Louise young back to talking funny now a new section and in the chair this week we've got You'll be Mickey in Macon Korea from comedy is it is a tough job and really is our comp we don't call stop crying oh I'm supposed to launch in this in a positive way so but I just try to tell the truth it is hard and to me one of the things that can really wind up a comedian is being misquoted on job explains that now you just get misquote it all the times and that's just yeah I was in the news and Star which is the newspaper when I was in a comedy Home Edition and they said that they interviewed me and they hadn't interviewed me at all right to the right and what they've done is they've taken a few that I did for our t.v. And misquoted it and then just said that they didn't if you do this is a normal thing that's just just. Because I was doing teaching at the time and I said talk to us about his teaching or how often does a stand up sets in front of the kids I've never done that and I've never said that I have to. Be very inappropriate if I just. Said I don't want to be teaching you guys the moment can you just put on your pens I'm going to do type 5. Fortune and the other thing is they were talking about illness I've got to have you know deficiency illness they had this photograph of me they had all my medication on the table the photographer asked me do this how about how all the medication on the table to. Quote underneath which said top of the pill like top of the bill yes those little. Pills and that's all injections but you know that's. Just the headline of the Arco was what you call a man with no mune system but loads of jokes. It was the headline of the oh you're making sure. She will talk about you know me as you probably border I've got no mean system I take injections and I'm fine not the end. But your funny guy funks sense of humor I don't think I'm here that is for thank you all folks very well I think the thing some of the things I've written have been quite funny I think and normally in conversation especially like people expect me to be funnier than I am generally quite sincere. No but you're not that nice. Yet now I know you've touched on this of and that all people think I'm a nice wee bit was it all been my type thing I think so quite a bit wrong I think people think we're quite nice but we were really reveling in the Yeah Yeah Yeah. Yeah I remember there was a woman that kind of a poet like up. I'm going to do a poem now I thought some formerly passionate about so this my poem about direct action. Is the least direction you could do. Symbolism instead Yeah the least direct action. Would just be sure that went what. Yeah yeah. There was a woman as well who went this is a poll about my mother for all those divorce and then she disappeared and then she went now I've got one wildflowers It's just like Ok. It's only poor reason it's different Yeah it's difficult it was specially when needed and now I'm doing more and more because it's a good place to get like new material sometimes a show of new material 9 so it's good to just do these ones but it's an odd concept having comedy and poetry on the same thing because when you're a comedian you're often laugh at things that poets say that tended to be funny but you know because in your head you've seen. So many comedians do not post anything and you just laughing at the things that you find funny and outside so when somebody talks about their parents brutal divorce that goes wild far as I would get a lot from all of the comedians but then old lots of origin of his going to. The Egypt. 6 al. Aqsa. Alex. And am comic Louise young and now we've written one small to my talking funny session with Joel being begin and it's the last one so make the most of it because Joel is a ray of sunshine in a corrupt world you can't just be like a little just out submitting scripts to people you haven't got the connections at the time of the money to like do I need to go in and you know the ways that. Like d.i.y. Which is like things I portray in comedy so I think a lot of comics have done poorly before and still do it that's the whole the whole divide isn't it's like if you know if you. If you were going behind a bar for if the I was a week write a screenplay and send and if you've got the money to not do that then you can. Start with smaller things a poem is quite perfect for us and then just do some Yeah do you do like comedy poems do you like when you 1st instead of did you like comedy I think I did yeah I think I think I tried to be serious I had definitely over to try really can be some serious political message and. It just ended up being funny I think that's what I read I think I did a one poll that was quite long and ages on it and it did it and I just thought this is if I can obviously do the funny bits quite well and it was the most best Paul when I was at Lafon in there and that was a how it was a pose a lot Paul like Ryan did on it's funny that's quite good however a try I like to draw moments off did like drama Union and again I just couldn't stop would want to be like a clown so I was the similar to drama and then I was under the comedy roles and stuff yeah all then you'd go do an audition and you wouldn't get the thing but then stand up you can just you can just stage time. The addition for you just. That's what I like about you we are you writing scripts to send them all there for someone to cool yeah yeah come on have a look you're creating the still for people or you're waiting for. Somebody to be looking for a type you know and if that part doesn't come across to. Then you know but you know if you do stand the already you do and you're bringing it to your game to them and you know I kind of guy. You know I'm the kind of guy on his feet kind of guy. Thanks for the scoop on the family thing so. Right and I see I'm Joey I'm from North Shields and there is a pretty rough area of a nice weather very rough school a couple eat every day and school and the big game and now what they should know about me not actually game. You. Know who bunnies are very progressive like they are they don't rush out to be gay to people if they just have to do g.c.s.e. Drama. So every day I get called k. To the dad told me some say it's police brutality for for me to say that nothing was I don't mind being called game I don't see gays and insult so called me gay as much as you like now believe they took the idea of running with it. Turns out I do my share of sites. That's my feeling. The other thing that really there were jokes that they used to do you might go this new council have a job or you see you drop your gay card so we have the one you're going through people who drop your God If you don't know what our job is base that say you dropped again so that he would look down on the floor when they go Ha ha you have a gay cards. As a really good joke it's a brilliant joke but the way that the 12 year old version of me try to combat this bully it is I went home I made myself a gay cars or I you know. It was bright pink Cadillac our picture of a rainbow on it and it said Joe be gay card so the next day I'm just walking through school I and Kevin Thomson comes up to me they all b.b.c. Newcastle has full name was. Ok so what I did on Facebook you can use you should I I follow come Thompson's. Because very good Facebook. All those kids and no job at all. But you wish you were gay now Ok. So her I walked in from school and Kevin Thomson comes at me with a jury verdict you dropped again because I don't know I haven't that's right here. He was not. Forgetting my gay be taken seriously. Company for having the gay because. The gays got Cape Cod Ok car does not exist Ok it's not like oh well before we take off loads office the best things for us me to check. Have you brought your car. Oh. It's a drop to fucking Yeah I said. That one of my doing was a guy was. Going to. Say we got. To. Do it to keep. Us down and. We got to. Pay for. 'd the new year. To. Good. C Coming up actress Reese Witherspoon reveals how she changed her name by deed poll to that of the world's most famous Spike Legally Blonde is at 9 this is going up north on b.b.c. Newcastle and b.b.c. Taze I'm stand up Louise young I flash at the moment Tyneside thoughts have a lot of dump in them said want to state agent yeah I just said that almost as if I have to just resign ourselves to live like something of Pirates of the Caribbean with shells living on with. But you do have to hand it to estate agents because they've really chosen the pond and I'm a villain of Korea's don't you think do you think that the know about that before they get in to wait on it a few months into the job so one has to take them aside and just go You do realize that your the Lex Luthor here you know the Wiley Coyote of of situations. I was going to see that that's just making them too cool. Girls are not criminals. Your constant needs to be validated wit you and spiral out of control so the only way you know how I live by the expectations of those you wish to impress those who don't like you and judge every conceivable moment you try to win them over the most out in the sand lose the very fabric of who you all. Not my words the words of puppet are present. So what could we do in the downtime between trying to impress our adversaries well dive into a magical world of b.b.c. . News on comedy so. I build up the strength to fight. With nothing mole and you will. out . To our . That was Max and. We've got if I mock this is grown up no. Baby. Comedian Louis. My name has in it now to another bundle of sketches delivered on time with a bolt from the Great North team on the good old team of Coles a bunch of stupid new comedy talent in the ne. All of the sketches that you going to have been written on performed by Ne residents and all recordings what did right at b.b.c. News so it's like 100 percent organic. But not a self-righteous way so the obvious answer to that one is date of birth followed by house number and then for the 2nd one if I move the later of the alphabet one along the numbers one to 26 we can see the pattern in marriage finally this one is obvious if your favorite football team spelled backwards. Steve. Grunow you know. Radio for the Northeast hello that I'm Julie hope from b.b.c. Newcastle when I'm not punching daft odds are set upon my daft husband I listen to green up north it's almost as good as giving a local hoodlums a clip around the ear. This isn't for everyone. This one mistake and they can all your life for good. Come from there. It's life changing. Your friends family girlfriend they're different you made it all for this. Or you for it it's what you have to ask yourself did. Tell me. Just a short. Coming up classic car at a Chuck e. Tao comes to life in terrorizes a small boy by reciting quotes from the Bible that child pray next. Good evening and welcome back to the show My name is Dr relaxer and here to help with all your problems of mind body and soul and now it's over to the signs and be grown so some plagal I'm listening. Whenever. This is very rare you have a c o c d c rock on baby now we have elders from Seton Hill I'm listening. Actually when I talk about a rock show you hear it just so much less hard to watch. Oh let it go. Let it go oh hold it back. For us thanks. Don't get a. Ha Ha Ha sometimes I class myself. B.b.c. New Castle radio for the North East. Welcome home. O.m. Ga but from my get p.r. And its just proper wrong all my friends parents split up empty nesters. House. Like yeah. They all said that the kids were the glue that held them like together no kids no relationship and all where we wanted to be here with you together to tell you I knew it I so knew it I'm going to be that child and child you're $23.00. Like I'm going to be that child to like has to choose which parent she has to live with it's like Sophie's Choice I love you both it's like asking me to choose between hummus and garlic hummus. I know moved far from a dollar. Since You've Been Gone we've had a bowl of several more what no longer having to run round after you and your wants and needs has freed us all like. You know like yeah as we realize that time we've got back is a lot of time and we've used that time to find the love we had before you came along to enjoy ourselves as we did before you were born oh isn't that a great time look at all respects you know we can now make sweet sweet love wherever and whenever the fancy takes us. In the greenhouse in the garage in front of the fire by the front door and I try oh that was exciting the city Mr to this city like the pair of you. And Daddy has started a club for your very very popular indeed Who knew there was so many nature is Sindar is holding this house is a symphony of flesh every Thursday night is still up and you know I'm getting to my very. Dear dear. Oh oh. My dream to be t.f. There's like a swing in that where when I have my posters of cans and whole cities being replaced by p.v.c. Pipe its foes wait actually much softer more soundproof you could be here watching Strictly and you never know there was something else strictly going on. It's worse than I thought I'm not an emptiness relationship breakup victim I'm I'm adopted my real parents would never never have special could also on the settee in front of pointless No we wouldn't funk goodness it's like one small crumb of comfort Yeah I know much more traces we love it when we think broadly waltzers watering. Yes writing for you the cheeses. Well. Hello I'm don't see this from b.b.c. Look no worse when I'm not burning mattresses at a local p.c. Suppose I were a lot spy listening to green up north it's great for masking the smell of burning batting. Gentleman right Lawrence all bog proper right opportunity. Like you all I do bitch a way from the greatest moment of your attire law. It will be wore out. In war if your party takes a head shot you are blinded by the splatter of his blood you're still both for. Like it's not about how hard you can it it's about how hard you can get it and keep our calling. Look at the odds that guy. Is she willing to die out because that is the difference between what he had long. Lol. Oh a plane since. I marry you a Korean No no us. B.b.c. You cancelled the b.b.c. T.v. Screen deal for the northeast. Live. Below. Live. That was Maroon 5 coming up with but niall horan this is going up north of b.b.c. Newcastle and b.b.c. And I'm comic Louise young bringing you the gift of life. Frankincense. Well thought I should have probably said something a bit more how do we I'm bringing you comedy sketches How are you bowl and close. To. That. Lol. Lol. Lol. Lol. Lol. Lol. So hands. That was Niall Horan Coming up we have Madonna we have again arrived at the end of our journey. So all the should we should be Kiss should organize to see each other again well I was hoping that waters and if you enjoyed what you had this week we will be back next week at the same time on pace and I might make more of an effort with you next week I might lead about you you must profession a well I want you to isn't something controversial I would test for friendship types of things but the main thing that will be doing is listening to some comedy sketches which will be back in full force from the incredible good of North team who was say was firing on all cylinders this week so let's hear who this team consists of in all this blend Let's roll the credits. A little north series 2 episode one was written and performed for the following malcontents looking at a far stretch were. A bit Hannah Salbi and Sawyer back with only moans from a remote sense of the maze David Foster home to the team in McLeish and Andrew Kirkwood. With Patrick and from this accounting with the rookie prison staff trash with making sure went smoothly in McCormick with the bloke who can bring anything yes anything into a penitentiary with Alfie Joey being the fellow who have to check him for mobile phones French addresses and alcopops exception. Special mention must go to young Seth Greenwood for his splendid vocal skills good up north be a Majesty's Pleasure version was presented by Louise young from Jerry produced in Newcastle England by Steve Drayton from North Lincolnshire still on the run from the law for a crime he says he didn't commit a likely story. Such . The News and The Best Life Support this is c.b.c. 5 live with the b.b.c. News on 5 live at midnight I'm Stuart Clark's And good morning the Foreign Office says an American woman who was involved in a fatal car crash in Northamptonshire no longer has immunity and circulus is the wife of a diplomat and his return to the u.s. After the collision which 19 year old Harry Dunn was killed make is a former head of extradition at the Crown Prosecution Service that's not really an answer to the question of could she be returned to the u.k. In order to space a criminal prosecution It just means that while she's there and family and police and the Crown Prosecution Service here they can continue to try and investigate and possibly bring a case but it doesn't answer the question about whether she can be brought back to ensure rain and high winds are hitting large parts of Japan as the country goes through what could be its worst storm for 60 years more than 7000000 people are being urged to leave their homes also feted fixtures at the Rugby World Cup We're expecting an announcement about Scotland's group match against Japan within the next hour Kurdish forces fighting a Turkish offensive in northern Syria say the u.s. Has a moral obligation to help them Turkey say it's taken a key town in the region but the Kurdish led Syrian democratic forces have disputed that Thomas but clear is from the real hard information center in the area. Come a slow Squire right now but the last 72 hours of sea. Moderately heavy shelling on the sets a number of civilian casualties that also bomb the bakery so there's a shortage of bread this was previously the safest corner of Syria in this post so much 2 hours it's turned. And there is resources where a long way from a final Breck's it deal after talks in Brussels earlier that the more discussions between British and even negotiators later and 21 by a Dell has been named the U.K.'s biggest selling album of the 21st century so far in a list compiled by the b.b.c. Amy Winehouse is back to black came 2nd followed by Adele's 25 and Ed Sheeran's albums. Multiply and divide 2 minutes past midnight is get the support from ropes go for it since Helen's departing head coach Justin Holbrook says he's leaving satisfied after watching his side beat sulpher 236 to win the grand final at Old Trafford it's a 1st Super League title since 2014 for Saints Holbrook is returning to Australia to join an r.l. Side Gold Coast Titans Josh Warrington has defended his i.p.f. World featherweight title in Leeds for the 3rd time the ref stopped the buyout in the 2nd round after Frenchman soft was knocked down twice Max Whitlock regained his world title with gold in the pommel final on a successful day for Great Britain at the world gymnastics championships Becky downy won her 1st world medal a silver on the uneven bars younger sister came 3rd on the vault and Italy beat Greece 2 nil to secure their place at Euro 2020 while Spain were held to a one will draw away to Norway Republic of Ireland are joint top of Group d. With Denmark after a goal a straw awaits Georgia 5 leave east regional on digital b.b.c. Said this is last week I'm alive this is b.b.c. Radio 5 Live. Just. B.b.c. Sounds music radio pod casts is that soon to be star of Radio 4 is any questions because Mason there. Yeah yeah I am yeah I am and I've spent the last Gracia learned all thank you thank you I've spent the last sort of 24 hours replying to lots of emails from people saying congratulations which means I'm relying on you 3 in this book us to tell me what's going on because I've been sort of saying Oh thank you very much thank you very much thank you very much I've been overdone and they're fighting back tears they were all to reply 3 mouth were all very pleased for you but we've been more pleased that you're still going to be stuck with us don't raise a k. And definitely still going to hear 4 brace yourself. When the old cuts and goes off the research but we're talking Klaxons it was always good isn't it to hear from Breck said castors and Marius But in touch with you. I've had a little boy however send. A blessing is something of a price that cast himself which is quite something to inflict on a little. Old past year I'll buy anyway and he has a quite dramatic reaction when we do an emergency episode with one of the klaxons does and does she have a quick listen.