People, if they try to talk to me, it must be like trying to talk to spock or Something Like that. Weve spent the last 16 months with callies family, trying to find out what went wrong. Just weeks before her death, callie became a member of an online Suicide Forum. Without those forums i think my daughter would have really struggled to find the information she was looking for about how to die. Suicide rates among young people have been rising and for young women, are at record levels. When callie needed help, it wasnt there. My biggest regret is asking for help, to be honest. My biggest regret is asking to help, because. If id just not handed it over, i think theres a much higher chance that shed be alive today. This is her. That ones nice. Is that you . Yeah. Wow, you look so young. I was young. How old were you . 16, when i had her. Wow. Callies mum sarah always knew her daughter was unique. As she grew older, if you got into a conversation with her it wouldnt just be a normal conversation. Even just making small talk, it would be an intense conversation that. She would, you know, turn into this sort inquisition, basically. At 11, callie was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome, a mild form of autism. It made relationships outside the family hard, but she was close to her grandfather. She had some very odd, obsessive behaviours which were not things you could control. She would sort ofjust do them. We just accepted her as one of us, a little bit more eccentric than most. As a teenager, callie sometimes felt she didnt fit in. Im like a cyborg with this human skin on. Its quite funny. I kind of like it, though. It makes me laugh. She was diagnosed with chronic depression and sometimes talked about suicide, but could also be extremely joyful and was a loyal friend. Nine years ago, she metjan, and despite their age difference they developed a rapport. When i met her i spotted straightaway she was autistic. And i think she spotted i was as well. She was also aware that i seemed to be coping a lot better than she was doing, and she couldnt understand why. And the only answer i could give her was that because ive lived with it longer, so, i have kind of adapted. When callie was 23, she left her south london home to move in with a boyfriend. Life had been going really well for her. Shed been the happiest for a consistent period of time, that ive known her, for a very long time. But by the summer of 2018, callie and her boyfriend had split. Her Mental Health had taken a turn for the worse. She cut off all contact with her mother and moved to kent. And i suspected she was staying with her friends, but i couldnt be sure. You know, when i tried to call her on whatsapp, nothing. Callie had begun to think seriously about ending her own life. Callie spent hours searching the internet and eventually came across a website where she felt she might be able to get some help. We are going to name the site because it contains extremely harmful content, but it was a chat forum where she would post anonymously. And in one of the first posts that she left, she said im glad ifound this site as it feels near impossible to discuss suicide openly. Callie had been staying in her friend jans spare room. When shed had suicidal thoughts, in the past, she used to talk them over with him, but not anymore. It was at that point where she just totally engrossed herself with the suicide websites who were encouraging her how to do it. So she felt if she communicated with me, she wouldnt be able to do it. But if she cut me off and communicated with them, they would make sure she did it. When we found out about the websites, the suicide websites she had been on, that that really set off an alarm bell because it began to feel like an obsession. She could have a depressive mood and a suicidal thought, and that was manageable, because you could you could help her through that. But her obsessions, you just couldnt do anything about them. On august the 10th callie posted to the suicide website, revealing she had recently made several attempts to hang herself. An actor is reading out her messages. Please to god help me, i have now freaked out and failed four times in the last month. Is there any way to make it easier . Despite her obvious distress, no one on the forum tried to persuade callie not to kill herself. A few days later, her friend jan found out about the suicide attempts. In a way it shouldnt have been a shock but it really was. And ijust as soon as i saw her, ijust well, i started crying. She started crying. And she explained everything. Jan was so worried about callie that he broke her confidence and telephoned her mum, sarah. I think theres two things that made me think this is really serious. The first of all was the fact that she cut off all contact with me. And then, you know, jan calling me. For him to be worried you know, because callie would sometimes talk about suicide so that didnt shock us, but forjan to say she has detailed plans, shes going to do it. I know my daughter, if shes going to do something, shell do it. Sarah called 999. The police found callie at another friends flat. They saw she had bruise marks on her neck and a noose. After they left, callie posted to the Suicide Forum. Hey guys, just to update you the police left on the condition i visit the Mental Health team, which i agreed to. Although i still intend to leave friday morning and just try to remain undetected until then and be vague with the Mental Health team. Callie discovered that her mother had called the police and that jan had been the one to tip her off. I realise it was a bad idea to be so open. But, since im autistic, i find it extremely hard to be dishonest. I feel extremely betrayed by my friend. Furious, callie moved out of jans flat. My decision was she either lives or dies, and so it was easy that she had to live. The consequences of it was very hard. But i would have done it again if i had the chance. Only hoping that this time it would have worked. Callie had an appointment with the Mental Health crisis team the following day. Before that, she visited one of her favourite places, an Animal Sanctuary near canterbury where shed often spent time watching the wolf pack. All the while, she was still on the Suicide Forum. Any advice for the crisis team . Im seeing them in two hours. Youll need to play along and pretend it wasjust a passing cloud and that youre getting better. Callie took the advice to heart. She told the crisis team she no longer intended to hang herself. What she didnt tell them was that shed found a new method on the Suicide Forum and had already bought what she needed to carry it out. Callie was released, and when herfamily heard, they set out to find her. So my dad and i had gone down, planning to bring her back. The most worrying thing was discovering that she had bought a suicide kit. She lived on nothing and to spend good money on a suicide kitjust wasnt callie at all. We both said the same thing, we said, we cant help her its too serious. Because if we bring her back, well have to lock her up in the house, stay with her, switch off the internet, switch off all data, you know, were just going to just have to get her off those forums and break it, basically. Desperate to get her daughter help, sarah again called 999. She told police that callie was on her way to dover priory station. Callies family was so concerned about her Mental Health that they came here with the police so she could be sectioned. They finally found her here at the train station and this is the last place her mum ever saw her alive. The Police Officers stood by the fence, we stood by the ticket barriers and she came out and we grabbed hold of her. And she just started screaming and yelling and that was when the police were able to intervene. I told her i loved her. I didnt get anything back. But, ijust thought, you know, just in case i never see heragain, which came out to be the case, i thought at least ive said it to her. The Police Brought callie here whilst her mum and grandad waited by the train station for news. Standing there, it was well gone 11pm and eventually a Police Officer came up to us and said, were searching her. And i just collapsed. I just thought, thank goodness. You know, theyre actually going to keep her safe. Police detained callie for her own safety, but with no Mental Health bed available for her, she had to wait with officers in a police car all night. At 8 30am the next morning, callie began a further Mental Health assessment at st martins hospital just outside canterbury. Callie again denied any immediate intention to kill herself and again the assessors took her denials at face value. Callie was released. When they asked if i had immediate plans to harm myself if they released me, i said no and laughed off the idea as ludicrous, saying ijust wanted to go and get something to eat. Callie also told the crisis team she didnt want her mother being given any information about her treatment. The next thing i knew, it was about lunchtime when i had a phone call. I said shes on the suicide website, shes autistic, shes got all her equipment. And i said she will definitely kill herself using this method if you let her go. And theyjust said, thank you very much, we will make note of that information. But i now know that phone call happened after her assessment had already finished. The next day the community Mental Health team took over callies care and things began to go disastrously wrong. A duty care co ordinator called callie three times. When there was no answer, callie should have been visited at home on the same day. That didnt happen. She was never seen by the community Mental Health services. They were supposed to have contact with her all the time. And they were supposed to escalate things and that didnt happen. The person who made the phone calls was then assigned as callies full time caseworker but they went on sick leave and no one was assigned to take over. Callie became lost in the system. If you look at any unforeseen death, usually it is not one thing that kills them. And in callies case you can see that. You suspect that at any point something could have gone right and she would still be with us today. Seven days later, there had still had been no further attempt to contact callie. By now she was over 350 miles away in cumbria. Any chance to help her was rapidly slipping away. Callie came here to windermere and she was still speaking to people on the suicide website and asking them how to go through with it and how best to stop her friends and family from finding her and stopping her. Dying now, guys, im going to drift off to sleep. Good night. To us, she was so clearly very, very ill, more so than we had known her. And during those weeks, we just kept on telling ourselves, they will keep her safe, they will keep her safe because we could not believe that would not happen. It took 13 days before kent and medway nhs trust even realised callie had gone missing. In the two years before callies death, it had been warned twice by the Care Quality Commission about the danger of some patients falling through the cracks. What i would like to know is what happened. Without any sort of covering over. I just want to know the truth and the truth is actually quite easy to bear, the truth is not something that hurts, the truth actually just gives life to things. Sarah hopes to get answers from the local nhs, which has promised a report on what went wrong. If you are determined to die, the only way to get to that stage is if you are very, very seriously mentally ill. I kept her save all her life and then, the moment i ask for help, she stops being safe and thats just very hard to come to terms with. I feel i made the wrong decision. It is the thought of herjust wandering around by herself, lost, and nobody able to help her, that really, really upsets me. To know that somebody somewhere was caring for her but nobody was and i wasnt able to. Oh, god. In its report, the trust acknowledges a series of failures in callies care, in part fuelled by unfilled posts and stuff off sick. She would consider 20 to be a reasonable amount. What do you make of that . I think what we currently have is a service that is on its knees so we have staff who are exhausted and who are regularly carrying far greater then would be an acceptable or manageable caseload and still be able to give good quality Mental Healthcare to people. They then might go off sick for example, other people then need to step in so the consistency of care potentially lost and ultimately, the most important factor, is people being able to be safe and supported by the community Mental Health team. The Care Quality Commission inspects and rates of Mental Healthcare providers in england. It also survays people over the age of 18 who use englands community Mental Health service. It also surveys people over the age of 18 who use englands community Mental Health service. Every year, for the last five years, satisfaction with the service has gone down, with patients saying they are not able to see nhs staff often enough. We need a wholesale investment in community Mental Health services. We still have pockets of care where there are gaps in service provisions. We need good quality, 24 hour crisis care available in the entire country. We need to have a Real Investment in community Mental Health teams so that those community Mental Health nurses can do the role that they want to do and they strive to do in terms of building those really strong relationships with people who are struggling. Although the number of community Mental Health nurses has increased by 15 over the last five years, across all Mental Health services, there are around 10,000 unfilled posts. Nhs england told panorama that in the next four years, it will create a further 10,000 new posts for community Mental Health teams and is increasing funding by almost £1 billion a year. It also says that in october 2019, the Care Quality Commission reported a general improvement in the quality of community Mental Health services. After callie died, her family also began to look into the influence of the Suicide Forum she had been part of. What we found was a huge amount of. What we found was a huge amount of very, very Vulnerable People sort of very, very Vulnerable People sort of trying to support each other but they were in no. So many of them we re they were in no. So many of them were in no fit state to support each other because the sort of support being offered was here is how to get to suicide kid. In the six weeks before her death, callie posted almost 200 messages to the site. We tried tracking down the owners of this site but they have gone to extraordinary lengths to keep their identity a secret. There is no physical address or way of contacting them except sending a message through the website itself. We wa nted message through the website itself. We wanted to challenge them about the harmful content. We sent a message to interview them. They would only send text message answers and would not appear on camera. In a conversation they told us, we offer a space to discuss the topic of suicide without censorship. 0ur community and website does not promote suicide. They said information is power, what they do with it is your responsibility. Information is power, what they do with it is your responsibilitylj think with it is your responsibility. think they are kidding themselves if they think that actually these are helpful forums because without these forums, callie my daughter would have struggled to find the information she was looking for about how to die. Suicide is preventable, there is always another option. 0ne preventable, there is always another option. One of the things we hear from families is there were so many missed opportunities to save their loved ones and what we say with anyone is that suicidal feelings are temporary. They may not feel it at the time but they will pass and there is support available and there is always another way. More than a year after she died, an inquest into callies death is held. It is highly critical of the trust. A lack of training in relation to autism probably contributed to her death but the harshest criticism was for the system that failed her. They found her death was contributed to by neglect and that inefficient methods were made to contact her so really grateful that they listened and acknowledged that her death could have been avoidable. Kent and medway nhs trust told panorama. We we re medway nhs trust told panorama. We were deeply saddened by callies tragic death and failed to provide her with the standard of care she and her family should her with the standard of care she and herfamily should have her with the standard of care she and her family should have expected and her family should have expected and apologise unreservedly for this. Following callie . Death, we put in place a number of actions to put in place a number of actions to put in place safety and have since embedded and approved procedures within our community Mental Health teams. The inquests also raise concerns that the suicide website callie had accessed could contribute to further deaths. The samaritans apart of a Government Initiative looking at ways to protect Vulnerable People from such harmful content. You think they may always be individuals who are posting harmful content . We do not want that popping up in the first pages of searches. Lets make it difficult for people so what they are looking for they find helpful information first and foremost. Welcome to this beautiful place where we gather to celebrate the life of callie. What brings us the is our united love for her. The flash brings us here. is our united love for her. The flash brings us here. I think we all know callie was unique. She was not much like me, much like anyone else here today. Until those final few weeks, i never thought she would actually and her life. I used to imagine her still alive at 90, surrounded by cats and cups of tea, probably still saying she wanted to die. If only the world was one more accepting of people who are a little different. She never fitted in any normal mould but we loved her. She was my first born, the first grandchild to her grandparents, she will always be my oldest daughter. I love you,. Callie. Callie was a whole person, not just love you,. Callie. Callie was a whole person, notjust her illness. She lived a really full life and had some amazing experiences and. Yes, ijust want some amazing experiences and. Yes, i just want to remember her like that. This is bbc news. Welcome if youre watching here in the uk, on pbs in america or around the globe. Im mike embley. Our top stories china deploys the military as concern grows over the true scale of the coronavirus in hubei province. 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