Stephen to the a technological innovation in fast food. Chicken fingers now contain real finger. Then i timely take a stand on a controversial issue. Yes the vatican was a little harsh on gallow galileo. And my guest christopher know lan is the director of interstellar and batman movies. I will tell him my theory that batman is clark kent. Burger king has brought back the yumbo sandwich. Dont worry some of them are new. This is the colbert captioning sponsored by Comedy Central report. [cheers and applause] audience Stephen Stephen thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome, good to have you with us. In here, out there, all around the world. [cheers and applause] stephen you know i need your energy. You know i need it thank you, so much for everything you do tonight and every night you heroes. You it getters. Show, this show is number 1438. Sadly i have yet to achieve all of my goals. For instance congress is still broken. Unfortunately the warn tee expired in 1850. They should of sprung for the extended care. So much partisan rancor in washington. They say it all different and republicans say, leave john boehner alone. Which is why nothing gets done in congress until now. A new federal bill closed in the house, a loophole nazis can receive Social Security. The house unanimously passed a bill dubbed the no Social Security for nazis act. Stephen yes. [ applause ] stephen yes the no Social Security for nazis act. The most popular bill to come out of Congress Since the no prek for the k2 Global Partners k. Its inspiring to see parties joining hands and declare one voice. Get oust here nazis were not giving you free money anymore, because apparently we have been cutting you checks for decades. Also thanks for the entire space program. Your rockets really landed on. The moon was london. There are details about our Retirement Program we dont know. Such as the total number of nazis receiving Social Security benefits and the dollar amounts of the payment. Our records werent organized like the nazis were. I love this bill. No subject could bring republicans and democrats kogter. Not crisis, war, famine. Nazis, i have come down hard on you in the past. But you got congress to agree on something. We have only ten more shows left. I wouldnt want to give my enemies anything to take oust context and use against me but thank you nazis. [ applause ] okay. Now youre on your honor not to use that people who seek to destroy me. Folks, the say a way to a mans heart is through his stomach especially after he has eaten a heart. This is thought for food. [cheers and applause] stephen oh, burger, burger, burger. I think i will miss you most of all burger sandwich. Folks, long time viewers of this sentence know i have been very serious about what i eat. If it doesnt make me feel healthy it doesnt pass these pouty kissable lips. Thats why im so excited about a new beverage scientifically and specifically engineered to make me feel like im being healthy. Its called milk. Not just any milk. Extra expensive science milk. Jim. Within three minutes of coming out of our cows fairlife milk is chilled at 37 fahrenheit keeping it nice and fresh. Milk have five components. Each of which has a slightly different molecular size. After running the cold milk through the filters we recombine the components to create what highly nutritious recipes we want. We can add twice the protein, take out the lactose. You name it. Fairlife. Stephen fairlife for people who want life just short of good. [ applause ] stephen folks, recombined milk. Folks these emoogeners have broken down milk into parts and put it back together the way they want. Its like they got frankenstein to lactate. As a result fairlife has 50 more protein and calcium than regular milk. To get that nutrition before i would have to drink a little more milk. You can trust this beefed up milk is good for you. Its made by the nature Loving Health nuts at cocacola. And [cheers and applause] stephen and if this product doesnt work out they can introduce milk classic. Next up on the thought for foods. Not everyone is devote today healthy and active lifestyle. Need proof . Pizza hut. Theyre my favorite primitive dwelling based provider. Sorry stromboli eaters. Now the hut has a new innovation blowing the stuff crust of your mind. Cant decide what to get on your mind . Let pizza hut read your mind. Pizza hut a mind reading menu. Yes its said to read your eye movement to figure out the tings you want in 2. 5 seconds. Its being tested in the uk. Stephen pizza hut has invented a mind reading menu. Bet you never thought of that. If you did, maybe thats where they got the idea from. And the uk is the Perfect Place to roll it out they have a long history of testing what people accept as food. [cheers and applause] stephen here is how, here is how you order the es pizza. Welcome to pizza. My name is toby. Do you know what you would like to order . Dont worry. Let me introduce to you our brand new subconscious menu. Its controlled with your eyes and mind. The menu has recognized your eye movement. This is the cool part. By the time you think you have chosen your subconscious has done it for you. This amazing gadget can tell what your eyes have gauged at the longest and in a few tiny seconds your pizza is revealed. Stephen pepperoni. This new Eye Tracking Technology is incredible. They must of done it after noticing their customers eyes s darting for something edible. Once the system reads your mind it relays the orders to a precog chef at pizza hut. Mushrooms. Stephen now im sure [cheers and applause] stephen now im sure there are still some kinks to be worked out. For example, how can they tell youre staring at something because you want it and not because you wonder who puts corn and ketchup on a pizza. I have to tell you, nation, i love this. Pizza has eliminated the biggest barrier to orderrering at their restaurant, informed consent. No, no, no says the new menu. Dont say a word. I can see, i can see the shrimp and pineapple in your eyes. They call this new technology the worlds first subconscious menu. It generates a order representing what the customer subconsciously wants. Yes, it removes all rational thought. It delves into the psyche to find your deepest unconscious desires. Which is why the most popular topping is warm, warm and soft. We will be right back. [cheers and applause] we fa la la la la. Ies today come on everybody say. Fa la la la. [cheers and applause] stephen welcome back, everybody. Thanks so much. Folks, you know, as i said before, as i said in the a block we only have ten shows left. With only ten shows. I know, i know. I believe its finally time i tackle a subject i have been avoiding for over nine years. Im now ready to take a stand. Abortion is americas most divisive issue. Tonight i will settle it by declaring life begins stephen colbert. Tephen amy. Amy, what are you doing here good to see you. Thank you. Stephen hi. Hi. Stephen wow, so great. [cheers and applause] stephen amy you found fantastic. Thanks incense. Stephen you smell like i hugged a priest. What are you doing here. Im a guest on your show this evening. Remember. Stephen im sorry my guest is Christopher Nolan. I know you bumped me. Stephen amy, i didnt bump you. Your people bumped me. Stephen my people dont do anything i dont tell them to. Did. Did you tell them to bump me . Stephen yes. Stephen, were old friends. Tephen thats why i bumped you. Who can you bump. Now im sad. Stephen dont be sad. I asked you not to be. Lets talk now. Im in a bad mood. Staeufplt amy, please. We want to hear amy, dont we. Serious, the people have spoken. I really, i really hear it. I want to talk about your thing. My thing. Stephen yes. You mean the show i busted my butt on. Stephen yes, whats is dolled. I dont remember. Stephen the heart show holler. Yes. Stephen on adult swim. It sounds great. What is it about . Im not playing this game. A game. Were promoting your show. Save it for your next guest. Tephen what do you want to talk about . The new movie interstellar. Stephen its great. Its mind blowing. Brought a clip. Stephen do we need to set it up. Yes. Its a great movie. In this scene Matthew Mcconaughy is experiencing a spiritual and emotional crisis about to encounter the black hole. Jim. Isnt that great. Stephen wow, thank you for bringing that. Youre welcome. Stephen wow. His best work since the lincoln ad. I guess you dont need Christopher Nolan now. Stephen i do. You should go. I would love to steve i would love to i have to go. Maybe i can come back another time. Stephen in january. You got canceled and you dont have a show in january. Stephen you will have the whole studio to yourself. [laughing] stephen amy, everybody stephen amy, everybody [cheers and applause] a mint flavor that hointensifies as you chew. 5 ascent gum. Stimulate your senses. Theyre jamming in the street all night long all night bud light lime cranbrrrrita fiesta forever dad . What a surprise. This is my new boyfriend, mark, i was telling you about. Nice to meet you. Ohhh. Easy to dip, hard to put down. New rolled chicken tacos, with your choice of dips. Only at taco bell. [sfx bong] who convinced you to follow your dreams with one Cross Country roadtrip . D you give someone the greatest gift for someone who gave you these moments. Is to give those moments back. Dewars. The most awarded blended scotch in history. Twhat do i do . You need to catch the 4 10 huh . The Equipment Tracking system will get you to the loading dock. There should be a truck leaving now. I got it. Now jump off the bridge. What . In 3. 2. 1. Are you kidding me . Go. Right on time. Right now, over 20,000 trains are running reliably. We call that predictable. Thrillingly predictable. Who convinced you to follow your dreams with one Cross Country roadtrip . D you give someone the greatest gift for someone who gave you these moments. Is to give those moments back. Dewars. The most awarded blended scotch in history. You can control with gestures. Like now, shes flying a spaceship to mars were flying a plane to detroit. Intel. This is where it all changes. Stephen welcome back. Any guest is director of interstellar memento and batman movies. Please welcome Christopher Nolan. [cheers and applause] stephen mr. Nolan, thank you for coming on. Im glad to have you on. Im a big fan. Thank you. Stephen i do have a beef with you. Huhuh. Stephen huhuh. I cant tell whether youre smart or whether youre just english. [laughing] stephen americans cant hear the difference between the two of those. Are you a smart guy . Im a im certainly english. I wouldnt claim to anymore smarts than anyone else. Stephen well your movies are smart movies. Okay. I dont always get them. I dont get them, i love them. Thats another problem i have with you. Your movies are massively entertaining. Momento, interstellar, batmans. Okay. Its a its a space epic you know, interstellar. When the movie is over im still thinking about the movie. Like, guardians of the galaxy didnt make me do that. Why do you want to make me think . Why, why, why, why cant you just have it [beep] blow up . Well, i think you can have a film that makes people think and blow [beep] up. Stephen you blow up [beep] really good. Dont do me down on blowing up the [beep]. I have blown up a lot of [beep] in a lost movies. I enjoy it very much. I love movies that are very entertaining. You want a ride. Interstellar is a experience. Stephen blew my mind. If there is more too it than that and it rattles around. Maybe you will come back again and find more in it. Stephen there is a guy in my bookshelf banging away. I wont spoil it i wont say who the doctor is on the planet they go too. Its martin lawrence. [laughing] stephen dressed as big mama fantastic. Incredible performance. Okay. So, lets talk about this interstellar thing this is a trojan horse i believe for science. The whole thing for the people who havent seen it tell them what happens. For those who have seen it and dont understand. Its about people traveling out in space and find a new home, right. It is. About a potential moment in human development. Maybe the next step in human evolution. Stephen earth is in bad shape in the movie. Yes they have to find another planet to sustain human life. Stephen thats my first question here. The most hopeful thing at the beginning of the movie is that we might be able to abandon our planet. [laughing] stephen thats the good news. We may scrape the dirt of this thing off of our boots and go somewhere else. Have you given up on the earth. I have not given up on the earth. Stephen your heroes do. My heroes do . Its not the question of giving up on the earth as much as having faith in humanity. The film is maybe humanity is capable of existing independently of the earth. May have another play in the universe. Its a vast place. Stephen its big too. Really big. Its very big. Stephen yes. Maybe there are other places for us to live. Stephen Global Warming or climate change. Agricultural blythe. Stephen agricultural blythe. Yes crops are dying. Corn is all thats left. Stephen what else is there . I just need my corn chips and high fructose corn syrup. Thats what theyre living on and making a life and adapting as humans do. Thats coming to an end. You know we base the end of the world sen arrow on things that have happened. People are giving testimonials at the beginning of the show. There are real people. We drew it from ken burns documentary on the dust bowl. Thats a Science Fiction film but i wanted the feeling of dread to be real and credible. Stephen what else can we say without giving anything away. There are extraordinary things in the movie. The movie, i havent seen a movie like this before. Lets take a clip here. The part of the blow up part. [laughing] cooper there is no point analyze the endurance. What are you doing . Docking. Stephen wow. How hard was it to keep Matthew Mcconaughy [ applause ] stephen exciting moment was it hard to get him to keep his shirt on . Not in space. [cheers and applause] stephen im sorry. Right there. Stephen thank you, amy. Thank you, very much. [cheers and applause] last question. I dont want to give anything away in the movie. Are we happening now or is this watching ourselves in the past . Do you believe that. Do you believe all time is happening at once . I believe you are capable of living in a fivedimensional world and youre a fixth dimensional creature viewing time as a dimension it would have to be rewritten. Stephen you did not answer my question. Tell you what, come again in january and we will talk about it. Christopher nolan, thank you so much. Christopher nolan interstellar in theaters now. We will be right back. [cheers and applause] we all know someone this year. Who has done something special. Give them the gift for those who fly beyond. They say back in the day. Professional athletes didnt play for the money. Nor did they play for fame. They played for the love of the game. Im here to say. Some things havent changed. We fa la la la la. Ies today come on everybody say. Fa la la la. Boy you ready for this . Dad ready. Vo with the innovation of an Intel Powered 2in1, your creativity can shine this holiday. Expert service. Unbeatable price. Best buy. Stephen good night, everybody. Good night. [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org. Its 11 59 and 59 seconds, this happened on google today, sad day for friends of incoherent google announced it will no longer be using kapings. I know. Where are we going to get our hard to reach squiggle word nass you have tont tore prove youre not a robot or a spammer or a rainman of sop type. So please let us take a