Two giving aid and comfort to the enemy. Perhaps time for an american to be on the program. One of our nations founding fathers. Are you ready for this . And now stepping into the ring a 58, the dark curtain from halliburton, the blaster from caspar, more machine than man dick the dick cheney you said earlier this week torture was something that was very carefully avoided. It implied that you have a definition of what torture is. What is it . Well, torture to me, chuck, is an american citizen on a cell phone making the last cull to his four young daughters shortly before he burns to death in the upper levels of the trade center in new york city on 9 11. laughter jon that is why he is the best worst. Dick cheney setting this nations moral bar at anything incrementally better than the most despicable thing that has ever been done to us. By the way, that was out of the gates. He had just met the press and he opened with 9 11. Thats like Lynyrd Skynyrd walking out and saying, why dont we kick it off with a little free bird how about that . Saving you a little lighter fluid and your shouting shows there. The problem is you dont give yourself anywhere to go. Torture is what al quaida did to 3,000 americans on 9 11. In my mind what meets the deposition of interestture is what 19 guys armed with Airline Tickets and box cutters did to 3,000 americans on 9 11. I see thats just what meets the definition of torture in his mind. His mind, i assume being the scariest bleep place in the universe. You know what . Im sorry. I know this will haunt my nightmares. The we zoom inside dick cheneys mind . Does that meet the definition of torture in your mind . In my mind music laughter jon never took him for a brony. And every time i think this man cant get more fascinating. Is he a righteous warrior . Its one thing to feel vengeance against those who have wronged us. Thats why weve always followed the vigilantes code im sorry, rule of law. Rule of law. But hypothetically, what if this treatment was per traitd on someone detained wrongly, surely that would soften cheney. Todd i mean, let me go to gul rahman. He was chained to the wall of his cell, doused with water, froze to death in c. I. A. Custody. And it turned out it was a case of mistaken identity. Cheney right. But the problem i have is with the folks that we did release that end up back on the battlefield. Im more concerned with bad guys who got out and released than i am with a few that, in fact, were innocent. Jon its like this guys the Vice President in a mccarthy model. Call it, friendo waa heads waaa. To be fair, im not saying dick cheney is using what happened on 9 11 robotically, but he uses it in service of avoiding culpability. Yeah, im not doing that. Cheney does feel upset. Cheney does feel hurt, angry even at having to answer things. Things. When you say waterboarding is not torture why did we prosecute japanese in world war ii. Thats not share. Jon yeah, you cant just ask an old man that question, chuck todd with the moral controversy put to bed, lets focus on efficacy. The c. I. A. Report suggested the information could have and was obtained by different more geneva conventiony but less seedy methods. It absolutely worked for 13 years. Id do it again in a minute. Jon wouldnt give it a thought. laughter and that, ladies and gentlemen, thats the best thing about dick. Hes impervious to doubt. Never enters his mind. Because of all the little ponies running around up there, but never enters his mind that the confident, plainspoken proannouncements of truth are oftentimes bleep . Just from his appearances on meet the press. The report has been pretty well confirmed he went to prague and met with the senior of the Iraqi Intelligence Service and we believe he has reconstituted Nuclear Weapons and has been seeking to acquire the kind of tubes necessary to build a centrifuge. This is a country that i think would be one of the leading perhaps the leading state in that part of the world. My belief is we will in fact be greeted as liberators. Jon they loved it so much they wouldnt let us leave for over a decade. You know what, no. Just because hes so bitter and angry doesnt mean i have to be. Let me end it on a note of gratitude, with something that i never thought that i would say george w. Bush, thank you for not dying. While you were in office. While you were in office. laughter while you were in office. laughter you dont need to think about the energy that makes our lives possible. Because we do. Were exxonmobil and powering the world responsibly is our job. Because boiling an egg. Isnt as simple as just boiling an egg. Life takes energy. Energy lives here. Intra bite size waynis. To enjoy the full size sensation of peppermint and rich dark chocolate. York minis, get the sensation. cheers and applause jon welcome back sweden recently elected a new Prime Minister, Stefan Lofven. Mr. Lofven agreed to sit down with us because apparently running a country gives you a lot of free time. Jordan klepper reports. Jon for years sweden has enjoyed a sterling reputation as a prosperous nation topping every country possible from healthcare to income. I sat down with Stefan Lofven in october to find out their secret. Welcome, mr. Prime minister. Thank you very much. Jon as a token of appreciation, i would like to give you this. Oh, there we go. This is very common. The americans mix sweden with switzerland. Jon im sorry. Youre not the first one. Jon did i even offer you the traditional swedish fish tacos. Its kind but not swedish, unfortunately not. Jon i wasnt here for a debit on swedemex cuisine, our country needed help on dealing with the gridlock on anger ranting jon were having trouble with the twoparty system. Its almost impossible to pass bills. How do you expect to pull your two parties together . In the parliament we have eight parties. Jon eight parties . Right. Jon i is that a metric number . Metric number, i dont understand that. We have eight parties and it did works. Jon how do you deal with eight parties. It takes negotiations to keep contact with your constituentsy and meeting with trade unions. Jon when do you find time to campaign . I just got into govern, i just started work. Jon plenty of time to govern after reelection. I choose another strategy and we need to act now Better Future for children. Jon can children vote in your country . No, you have to be 18 years. Jon okay, then leave them out of this. No. Jon yes. No. Jon youve only been Prime Minister of a country two more months than i have so hear me out. Okay, if he insisted on governing, what policies was he cooking up . Were raising taxes. Jon youre raising taxes . We need a welfare system thats there for everybody when you need it. Jon careful, sounds like socialism. If you get unemployed jon not going to happen. If you need the proper training, well aye cyst you with that. Jon do you the people at fallon. No. Jon well how are you going to help me get a job . I guess perhaps its time for can you to change jobs into a different sector. Jon have you heard something . No, i havent heard something. Jon the swedish taco joke i think you can improve, actually. Jon maybe there was a swedish way he could show me how to assemble a functional government and furnish me bedroom at the same time. This is tea party . Tea party . Do you think Climate Change could put the liberal democrats with the tea party . Could. And like that, we created a new functional american government. Supposed to be better. I think what you have now is better than this. Yeah. I was inspired how lofven held his government together and stuck to his principles so i honored him with a key to the new jersey ikea. Thank you. En seven days later this happened. To news out of sweden, politicians rejected the minority governments budgeted proposal, that could lead to the collapse of the left ruling coalition. bleep . From now on, im shopping at crate and barrel. Crate and barrel. Just take a closer look. It works how you want to work. With a Fidelity Investment professional. Or managing your investments on your own. Helping you find new ways to plan for retirement. And save on taxes where you can. So you can invest in the life that you want today. Tap into the full power of your fidelity greenline. Call or come in today for a free oneonone review. Whats in your hamburger . Ive read that theres horsemeat in your food. What is really in your beef . Is the beef 100 . Your all beef patties, are they all beef . What is actually in the hamburgers . My baby drove up in a brand new cadillac. My baby drove up in a brand new cadillac. Look here, daddy, im never coming back. Discover the new spirit of cadillac and the best offers of the season. Lease this 2015 standard collection ats for around 329 a month. cheers and applause jon tonight the director of big eyes. Im curious about your technique. How long did that piece take to execute . Probably a month. First the thinking, the sketching, then the time with just me and the oils oil . Isnt that acritical income. Ah, that. Yeah, its like a jumble of ideas and rattling around in my brain. Where do you get your ideas . Jon please welcome tim burton cheers and applause jon welcome thank you. cheers and applause jon very pleased to have you on the program. Fellow director. Fellow director. Jon lets just talk shop. I love it. Were all familiar with these pictures, but i dont think people understood just how bananas the story is. I grew up with these images and as a child i was fascinated of why grown people would have a picture of a crying child in their living room jon with giant eyes to me, it was almost like a horror movie image, these weird eyes. Everybody had it. laughter sort of influenced me a bit. But it was such a fascinating phenomenon in the sense that some people loved it and some people thought it was the downfall of civilization, you know. I, like everyone else, thought it was walter keane who was the artist and the real story about he was taking credit for his wifes work. So like all relationship ive had myself, amazing dysfunctional relationships creating these strange mutant children, seemed interesting to me. laughter jon well broken down and thats what you know, this is whats so interesting to me about this story is it incapsulates almost everything that you would want to know about the 50s60s culture, you know, the beat generation striking out in bohemian ways but also women taking control of their own work. He was an artist as well, yes . Walter . Well, he went to trial and people think it was over the top, but they actually toned it down. He did crossexamine himself. Jon really yeah. You wouldnt believe it on a bad sitcom, but, you know, just the realistic version of it is what you see, believe it or not. But thats what was so amazing about the story, he was such, you know, a mixture of things, walter. But, at the same time, he was at the forefront of, you know, printing of art, you know, and thats why people didnt have pa picassos on the wall, its keane. Jon and his town was as a p. T. Warmen am barker and others, warhol, would say, we borrowed from walker. On a positive level, it connected the art world to people being able to afford it, you know, and he was, you know, he was with celebrities kim novak, jim crawford so, you know, all the practices, he could easily move at a movie studio and be successful. Jon what would be crazy, imagine a guy doing different movies. Now, Margaret Keane who is the woman who is actually the artist involved in this paints a lot. She paints every day. She is the most quiet feminist youve ever met in the sense that she had a very she wasnt really a victim. When she went to trial, she just wanted the truth to come out. You know, she is like the quiet, sort of the most quiet feminist youve ever met in a way, you know, something very amazing about her and strong. Jon how hard was it to gain her trust in terms of putting Something Like that out . In this type of situation, you have this very private individual. This is a story that, its got its highs and lows and shes at teams nervous about putting it back out there. Did you have a time convincing her . It took a while, but i think she finally understood. She met amy adams and she realized amy wanted to do her justice and tell it from that point of view. But, you know, she an amazing thing, you know, because we werent there when she saw the film. You know, she started crying because she got to spend an extra two hours with walter again, which sort of freaked her out. Jon because they obviously split up after he defamed her and tried to take credit for all her work and beat her and all the terrible things. Yeah. Jon but she was a bit charmed by him. Yeah, well, he was that strange mixture of p. T. Barnum and amazing sort of marketeer and ahead of his time on that level. Jon an awesome, job. I can see why it appeals. Those images, they unfortunately, or fortunately, stay with you forever. I go to sleep at night with those eyes staring at you. Thats why i cant sleep at night. I have insomnia. Jon i hope that never changes because i love the work that comes out of it. Big eyes, going to be in the theaters christmas day. Theaters christmas day. Tim burton, everybody. Break the ice, theaters christmas day. Tim burton, everybody. With breath freshening cooling crystals. Ice breakers. Vicks nyquil severe. Helps relieve your ugliest, nastiest, roughest, toughest cold symptoms. Vicks nyquil severe. With maximum symptom fighting ingredients. Choosing is half the fun. Because theres a Little Something delicious. For everyone. Hersheys miniatures, choose your own delicious. Motor trends 2015olf car of the year. So was the 100 electric egolf, and the 45 highway mpg tdi clean diesel. And last but not least, the High Performance gti. Looks like were gonna need a bigger podium. The Volkswagen Golf family. Motor trends 2015 cars of the year. Jon thats our show. Heres your moment of zen. Do you know what im doing ive never done on the show . Robert knows ive gone without makeup before so thats not it. But he asks am i going commando . He wasnt the on captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org eagle caw stephen tonight, is america guilty of torture . No, we seem fine with it. Then hackers expose hollywood secrets. It turns out apollo 13 took place on a sound stage and my guest, seth rogen, stars with james franco in the new movie the interview. Ill ask him about it in the the interview interview. A new york high schooler made 72 million trading stocks on his lunch hour. In a couple more years, hell be able to pay for college. This is the colbert report cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central eagle caw cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, ladies and gentlemen good to have you with us audience chanting stephen thank you so much, folks thank you so much for being here what a joy what a pleasure to be with you tonight, folks cheering you know, i love being with you. Ladies and gentlemen, if youve been paying attention to the news lately, folks, if you watch the news, you know that this is cheering