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Welcome to the nightly show. Im larry wilmore. Thank you thank you, so much, guys. Wendell pierce is on the panel tonight. Im very excited about that, very excited. This man is an amazing actor. He plays u. S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas in hbos upcoming confirmation. Well ask him if its a speaking role. laughter why i got no lines, hbo . Why i got no lines . That was the casting meeting. But, first, i want to talk about another supreme Court Justice with no pulse, Antonin Scalia. Now, as you may remember, scalia passed away recently when he was allegedly not murdered by one of these five pillows. laughter im just sayin im the messenger, you guys, im the messenger. But even as a ghost in search of vengeance, scalia is making controversial news. Law students at George Mason University are worried a name change could pigeonhole their future careers. The law school announced it will change the name to the Antonin Scalia school of law to honor the late supreme Court Justice. Larry well, it didnt take long for the internet you know where im anything, right . This is what i love about the internet. It didnt take long for the internet to figure out that the acronym for the Antonin Scalia school of law is yeah. Good on you, internet. Make people double check those acronyms. I gotta say, that name was still better than their original pitch the Antonin Scalia school of world interpretative philosophical enlightenment. Ehh, maybe its a tie. Maybe its a tie. You guys are sick. Weve got a sick crowd here tonight, man. Okay, we now go to louisiana, the state that brought us tyler perrys tyler perry and former top secret president ial candidate bobby jindal. But, unfortunately, this week louisiana has also proven its a state that has brought the cray. The state is cray it is now officially a cray state. Why . Check out which bigtime criminal Louisiana Police finally brought to justice. A louisiana man could be spending 20 years to life in prison. His crime . He apparently has a big sweet tooth. Larry 20 years. Well sweet tooth must mean something really horrible, like he has a taste for sweet blue meth or he craves the ultimate forbidden fruit sweet, sweet human flesh, a. K. A. Natures candy. laughter all right, im a little bit scared. What did he do . 34yearold jacobia grimes, a career shoplifter, is accused of stealing 31 worth of candy bars from a dollar store. Larry you have to be bleep kidding me. 20 years for stealing 31 worth of candy . sure, its a dollar store, which means he stole 31 pieces of candy, which i agree is pretty hostile. But, still, 20 years . This country never ceases to amaze me. Its where the people on wall street can rip off everyone of billions of dollars, and they dont get a minute of jail time. Meanwhile, a brother in the bayous got sticky fingers for butterfingers, and we gotta give him the full andy dufresne. Shawshank. So how is a guy who hasnt even shoplifted enough candy to fill a halloween bucket getting sentenced to 20 to life . Now, hes being charged by prosecutors under the states habitualoffender law, which is why he could be facing a heftier sentence. Larry habitual offender . So hes been caught five times, but for petty crimes. Shouldnt there be some sort of distinction for the type of crime . Just because something has happened before doesnt mean someone should go to jail for decades, except for whoever keeps rebooting spiderman. I dont need to see uncle ben die again stop it my heart hurts, you guys. But this is the problem with habitual offender laws or three strikes or mandatory minimums. It takes the most crucial aspect away from being a judge, the judging. Right . All thats left is the gavelling. They love that, i understand its fun. But laws are kept in check by judicial wisdom. The two go together like, i dont know, Peanut Butter and nougat. Something like that. Now, there is a reason for these kinds of laws. It just has nothing to do with justice. In 2012, the timespicayune pointed out that louisiana has more prisoners per capita than any state in the nation, and that the majority of them are held at forprofit facilities. Larry beautiful. Jailing people for profit. Well, this is what happens when you take racism out of policing. You have to create another incentive money. Somethings got to motivate the Justice System, and if its not black, its going to be green. laughter here with more on this story is candy punishment expert, william wonka. Hello its splendiferous to be here larry william, youve been known to punish people for candybased crimes. What do you make of the situation in louisiana . I look at it asne does, in pure candy terms. To me, the criminal Justice System in louisiana is like a big box of gobstoppers yummmmmm larry so youre saying its sweet . No, im saying that once a person gets in the system, hes serving an everlasting amount of time woohoo larry okay, that makes sense . But why is it happening dism why is mandatory sentencing so strict . Mandatory sentencing is like a payday bar. As long as the government keeps putting people in jay, they get a big, fat, bleep pay day larry youve got a salty mouth there for a guy who works in sweets. Youre really good at these analogies. Indeed i am forprofit prisons are just like candy factories. They need raw materials, like chocolate, in order to churn out delicious profits. Its the same for prisons. They also need chocolate to make money, but their chocolate is the blacks, thats right. Larry i think they were ahead of ow that one. A little bit. Somebody likes candy larry sounds like these prisons are chocoholics. Oh, big time. Larry im glad to hear that someone whos kind of famous for harsh candy punishments is so progressive on this issue. Out of curiosity, do you think someone should serve 20 years to life if they stole some of your famous fizzy lifting drinks . Of course not dont be absurd they shouldnt go to prison. Larry good the penalty must be death laughter stealing candy is the highest crime of my land Violet Beauregardes body is currently on the bottom of the ocean floor next to bin ladens, as it should be larry oh, my gosh. As it should be larry what . What are you talking about . Hey that marshmallow doesnt belong to you fire up the electric chair, oompaloompas i want to see the lights flickering in here in five minutes, tops larry okay, william wonka, everybody. Calm down, william. Nougat board him to find out if he had help from the inside larry well be right back. William, calm sir, this alien life form is growing at an alarming rate. Growing fast, you say . We cant contain it any long. Oh you know, that reminds me of how geicos been the fastestgrowing auto insurer for over 10 years straight. Over ten years . Mhm, geicos the company your friends and neighbors trust. And deservedly so. Indeed. Geico. Expect great savings and a whole lot more. Thank you so much. Did you say honey . Hey, try some . Mmm that is tasty. Is it real . Of course. Are you . Nope animated you know im always looking for real honey for honey nut cheerios well youve come to the right place. Great, mind if i have another taste . Not at all mmm youre all right bud . Never better i dont know if he likes that. Yeah part of the complete breakfast larry welcome back. There was another president ial primary last night, so lets check in with the ongoing effort to demelaninize 1600 pennsylvania avenue its time for the unblackening. Sorry, got lost in the song. Yesterdays g. O. P. Race moved to wisconsin, where donald trump finally got to meet his longlost hair cousins. Still, the good people of wisconsin seemed to have more love last night for their canadianborn neighbor. Cruz won 48 of the republican vote, beating trump by double digits. Larry its fascinating to me that the g. O. P. Is coming together around ted cruz, a guy so many of them deeply despise. I dont get it. Its like that time i a lakers fan had to spend a season playing for the celtics. laughter yeah, boston. I won you a championship, but i hated every minute of it. But the hated cruz actually has the Trump Campaign on the ropes. Cruz, the campaign said, is worse than a puppet. He is a trojan horse being used by the party bosses to steal the nomination. Larry if ted cruz is a trojan horse, then whats inside him . laughter besides thousands of writhing cicadas crawling around in his illfitting skin suit. Man, man. But the only reason cruz has a chance is voters are so uncomfortable about trump. More than one in three Republican Voters said theyd be scared if trump were elected president , according to cbs news exit polls. Larry unbelievable. On the scale of things republicans are scared about, thats right between immigration and womens mystery crotch pouch thingy, so its right up there. So cruz has momentum. Theres a real chance he could turn this into a contested convention, as long as he keeps from saying anything too creepy hillary . Get ready. Here we come. laughter applause larry try explaining that one away. No, its purell. laughter applause oh, my god so the g. O. P. Establishment is in large part responsible for cruzs victory last night because they poured money into several antitrump superpacs like our principles. These superpacs spent over 2 million in wisconsin attacking trump so cruz didnt have to. So while the role of superpacs cant be underestimated in this election, the details of how they work can get a little confusing. So heres rapper 2 chainz to break it down in a segment we call 2 chainz explainz. 2 chainz explains hi, im 2 chainz, and superpacs are . Pped political committees funded by companies, unions or a bunch of rich beep . Superpacs have one goal really three goals get that money. Get that money. And get that money. applause now, listen, theres no limit to how much money they can raise for their candidate. Once they get that money, they use it to do all kinds of dirty stuff with it, like create attack ads. You know what im saying . So basically, superpacs are like superpacs are like trap queens for the president ial candidate. They hold you down. They count your money. And they attack all your enemies. Anybody try to Say Something bad about you, thats my type of girl right there. laughter and now were not talking about small money. Bushs superpac raised 118 million for his failed for his failed bid this campaign season. 118 million. laughter superpacs are really like i ride round again i ride round again i spin you know what im saying, larry . Larry truuuuuuue this has been 2 chainz explainz. Well be right back. 2 chainz explains i got the discounts dothat you need l safe driver accidentfree everybody put your flaps in the air for me go paperless, dont stress, girl i got the discounts that you need safe driver accidentfree everybody put your flaps in the air for me i cant lipsynch in these conditions. Savings oh, yeah thank you so much. Did you say honey . Hey, try some . Mmm that is tasty. Is it real . Of course. Are you . Nope animated you know im always looking for real honey for honey nut cheerios well youve come to the right place. Great, mind if i have another taste . Not at all mmm youre all right bud . Never better i dont know if he likes that. Yeah part of the complete breakfast billions are spent to confuse and, dare i say it, flummox the american public. Save 16 on car insurance. Switch now. Well at compare. Com, we say enoughs enough. So we constantly scrutinize millions of rates. Answering the question once and for all, who has the lowest. Just go to compare. Com and get up to 50 free quotes. Choose the lowest, and hit purchase. So you can get back to whatever it is you civilians do when youre not thinking about car insurance. Compare. Com larry welcome back. Im here with my panel. First up, nightly show contributor mike yard. cheers and applause and nightly show contributor franchesca ramsey. cheers and applause and you can see him next playing Justice Clarence thomas in confirmation, which airs saturday april 16 on hbo, actor wendell pierce. cheers and applause and for everyone at home, join our conversation. Right now on twitter. nightlyshow, using the hashtag tonightly. Last night we are the wisconsin primary. The Republican Party has been so obsessed with outsiders, but now that trump seems to be on the downslide, does it seem like the voters obsession with the outsiders is coming to an end or trumptrumps stick is wearing . I think theyre taking a break and waiting for new york to raise our ugly heads. We love him no matter what, im sitting here and putting some teeth in my mouth. Im still going to vote for him, just like he said. If you shoot somebody on 5th avenue. I think the g. O. P. Has always been very good to appeal to the largest voting bloc out there, poor white folk. And no matter they put the carrot on the stick and say if you vote for us you might become a member of the rich white guys. And they say yeah, well vote for you, even if its against my best interest. Theyre taking a break. I think the obsession with trump is coming to an end. Thats what it is. You think so . There are only so many races to vote for you. Hes going to run out of races eventually. Larry youre saying theres a cap. Theres a cap on the races. Hes not creating new ones. Theyve just been there waiting and now we know who they are. Mission accomplished, trump. Larry the whole point is to bring them out in the open. Bring them out in the open, baby. For me, i never understood why anyone looked for an outsider to be in the white house. The presidency is a really big job. You want someone thats qualified. Like, if i need open heart surgery, i want a surgeon, not a mechanic. I want someone poking around who knows my insides, not an outsider. Thats always been weird to me. People dont know how government works, i think. How could you say you want to give somebody the most powerful job on the planet, but they cant do it . With no qualifications to do that job, but just go ahead. Run the world. Deal with russia. Deal with north korea. Go ahead. I know you aint never bleep in your whole life. He hasnt done anything meaningful in his whole life. Larry and everything said about obama, he has no experience. Its like everybody voting for their drunk uncle at the party. I dont know nothing about it, but if i was president , id blow up everything. bleep . Hey, everybody get a nuclear bomb. I dont know what Nuclear Proliferation is, so bleep , everybody get a bomb. Larry what do you think the appeal is of cruz . Hes not an outsider. Its just that nobody likes him. Does that make him an outsider . I think cruz is being pimped by the g. O. P. They are saying, listen, as soon as they get rid of trump, theyre going to be like, were not going to vote for you. I think youre right. Thank you, youre job is done, and now were going to put somebody else in. Larry i think its bait and switch, too. And when the convention comes, paul ryan or somebody. Thats what it feels like to me. Theyre going to shut him rown down after the convention. Wait, that means theres another one out there somewhere. Probably. I wouldnt put anything past the g. O. P. Cruz comes across as so awkward to me, like an alien that studied humans but isnt, like, really somebody who is not well reel im with you. Like, you would think his stance on muslims and abortions would have the republicans liking him, but he looks so awkward in that human suit. Im telling you, hes not a real person larry to ask you a question about the democratic side. Hillary is being treated like the party insider, and bernie is not. How come bernie is getting outsider status . Hes been in government for a long time. A lot of people didnt know he was in government. laughter hes been in congress for, like, 30 years, wrote a couple of bills and was like, hey, wheres the free lunch . No, i like bernie. Bernie is brilliant. Hes bringing up all the issues. He was going to be an issues candidate and he caught fire. This can take off. And i think hes going to push hillary to the left. Hes going to make sure that hes on the platform. Theyre going to give him a night at the convention. And after that, you know, theyre going to cut the deal and say bring your people on. Lets win this election. And, you know, the fact of the matter is he has excited a huge electorate of young people. And i think thats very important. Larry you think thats going to work against hillary . Because her excitement they had numbers for this how excited people were about things. Hers were pretty low. In fact, her unfavorables and trumps, clinton and trump had the highest unfavorable among women. Thats unbelievable to me that theyre leading. Were masochists. I dont know. I dont disagree. Larry why does hillary have such a high one for women . On behalf of all women, no, just think bleep . bleep . No, no, bleep . How come hillary has such a high go for it. I just play Clarence Thomas on tv im just going to keep it real. I just have to say that i think that maybe some women just dont like her politics. Theres not some special rule that says because shes a woman i have to vote for her. Ted cruz scored very unfavorably with men, and it might be because his politics are bleep because hes the zodiac killer. Got it . I want you to tell me which one it is. But look at all the candidates, what candidates policies support women more than hillary . Thats the thing im looking for. Why wouldnt they vote for her . For me, she comes across as fake like the girl who never talked to you in high school until she was running for class president and all of a sudden shes like, cute outfit. Youve never spoken to me before and now suddenly you care. She comes across to me as inauthentic. Personally, im still not really jazzed about bernie or hillary, but im going to do what needs to be done come november so we dont end up with trump in the white house. I play Clarence Thomas, so laughter larry sounds good on me. Well be right back. cheers and applause flavors of ice cream make for endless spoonfuls of fun Sour Patch Kids redberry blast. Baskinrobbins flavor of the month. Try it today so we brought in a phd phd to help explain them. Youre getting this refund because your son is a qualifying dependent, i, i can see that. Good. Good. Good good. Great. Intuit turbo tax. That would be the sound of your alarm going off. . Unfortunately, your other alarm went off every few hours throughout the night. Which means youre going to be alarmingly tired at work today. Listen, the truth is as a parent youll never get enough sleep. But you can get this a great tasting 5hour energy® shot. Itll help you be bright eyed and bushy tailed, just like him. Now is the time for 5hour energy®. Aha cinnamon. Milk. Cinnamilk. Cinnamon toast crunch. Crunch crave those crazy squares. Cinnamilk cheers and applause larry okay thanks to my panelists mike yard, franchesca ramsey, and wendell pierce. Were almost out of time, but before we go, im gonna keep it a hundred. Tonights question is from an audience member named rebecca. Lets take a look. Hey larry, bleep , marry, kill ann coulter, Carly Fiorina or sarah palin. I am begging you to keep it 100. Larry thats horrible. All right, i have to do this . Yeah. Larry sarah palin has to die. applause and then i dont care about the other two. Ill marry Carly Fiorina, and ill bleep ann coulter. Oh larry thanks for watching, dont forget to ask me your keep it 100 questions on twitter. Good nightly, everyone captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. cheers and applause trevor welcome to the daily show. Im trevor noah. Thank you so much, everybody. Thank you so much. My guest tonight, im really excited about this transgender activist and founder of transtech social Angelica Ross is here, people. cheers and applause . Trevor but first, last night, wisconsin. The land of cheese, beer and cheesy beer puke. They hell their president ial primaries. And it was an eventful night on both sides of the aisle. For the democrats bern kroa sanders clinched his sixth win in a row. Sixth win, in a row. Yeah. Sixth win and then like a true socialist he immediately tried to split those wins with hillary, no, bernie, no. Thats why its so hard for socialists to win. Stop sharing. But the bigger news out of last night came from the republican side where donald trump lost, people. Donald trump lost. cheers and applause . Trevor he lost he lost to ted cruz. Oh, come on. Now you just sound like ted cruzs family, stop that. Now lets focus on the positive for now, you know. Trump got grilled. And he got grilled by the cheese state. laughter congratulations, wisconsin. You finally did the thing that even donald trump couldnt do. And that was

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