Part of a whole system which believes his time has come with chinas president. She ging ping starts july 30th on d w. Ah. Did you get that . They sat in the day, lexi get mad in prison. I wrote my mother a letter. I want to tell you something about myself. You might not want to hear that. Im sorry. I want to tell you, i never have been and never will be a woman. The loneliness i experienced in prison and finding myself among oppressed people, i didnt know has given me the courage to talk about who i really am. Not allah, the woman died here and is never coming back and hello and im, im ali auto with his will and strength. Ill never be as feminine as you. Please dont get upset. Once i get out of here. No, ill only be ali and will never be scared of anything any more. Im out of school and i know myself, we see it after the 7 machine, me and one day, my biggest problem here is loneliness long. And i suffer from it a long and my hack when i talked to others about it had they dont understand me or my feelings. Well yeah, they dont understand what i went through before i arrived here. Danny, i dont feel comfortable with any one. Cool. So ive decided to be on my own layer, caught other than nick when white ah, and a tablet men in ne, listen, im tired of pretending im not ali. Although i feel like ali on the inside lesson. And now whenever i form bonds, i feel like theyre not authentic or complete because i cant be myself laughing. Oh that i have to fear because she ah ah, will fall at allah among the board. Go as she if i arrived in mancha book and applied to work for the police here on the 20 can before that i stayed in hub, rushed out for a month. Oh, not a month. Youd alimony but when i got here, i didnt know much about the city or even much about germany. About a full chill. Excellent ammonia, candidly. Oh me. Oh, well, i signed up for a German Language School to busy myself of course. And so had a working, but i was shocked beyond me because there was an issue with my name. The mold well isnt referral, how could the instructor call me a woman for an a give any look if the im not a woman the fell. Say you that i dont know. So i quit the school up. Acton Melissa Mallory had that he been valid chad in the quasi after that and made that i didnt leave the house for 2 months and on our valley at madison in them as we adult. Yeah. Mom percent and then i feel like i cant integrate into society because of my documents, identity, and apparently all know what out and well do that and then will. Yeah, la la la la la la la, la virginia. For when i get mail addressed to miss allah ha midi. It feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. Read dumb of the michelin. How that will work on emily theater, annie, as me, how should i present myself to my friends . The issue is caused me so many problems and im sick of enough enough eat there, havent been any opportunities for me to change my gender or help myself in any other way since my arrival than its been this been and its been very painful for me. I stay home and cant make new friends, mother instead, my old friends come to visit with them, but everything staying the same. So the days are boring and monotonous skill, young children, only since there isnt much to do. And magda book it all i do every day is go down to the river to drink coffee and smoke a cigarette. Then one heck, murphy. The hain medina. Ma fishing. Any one i had to show that i cant even find a job as one then nor anna had. I even tried to find one paid under the table, but my name was a problem. Again, my entire life plays out between these 2 identities, hula, and ali. And i just cant take it any more while and to comply. Ah ah, the shuttle i listen. I got in touch with the person named whoa some 4 months ago the fall ceylon me . Oh, some magic is shaney hackett. I sent him all my details and told him everything about myself while i was still in syria. Leash and nobody homeless because i wanted to finally find myself with ali olivia. Did i jojo de la . Im longing for the moment when my heart fits together with my feelings. Sunday and my body. Mamma and we lam ashanti. My just said the lakisha thought ill change cities and moved to berlin soon in the line. I want to search for ali there. Ali ah ah ah ah ah, how to man now . Oh no, i did. The conflict between ala and ali, stems from my mental fatigue. Allah, allah has suffered a lot. All her family forced her to get married, and she was rate level mila. No, to any been up to somebody. I dont know if i should feel bad for her, or if im sad because of hers, i ha, ha. Oh, bizarre mendham about it. But she Means Nothing to me any more when she, when a sheep that except that she was treated unfairly. And i dont like injustice or people allowing themselves to be treated badly. Hello. Can you be a little heavy . Is lawana law about a flush . Yeah. Nanny looked at him, i just dont know what to think about her. The sick, bizarre when i think back on her, i dont like her little some, but i feel bad for her honey. Cool. Because she let someone use her, and her body is a little bit hate buddy. Ill anthea intake what those are said. Titian, ebony and ali didnt appear out of the blue. Shy, oak. Ive had these feelings since i was a child to be out of fundamental the no, ive known i wasnt normal since puberty. How thou was thought it was tough and i didnt understand what made me differently. Shake embassy, id heard of transgender people. And although i didnt want to be like them, i couldnt help it for one month and i never could identify with allah. And so i decided to completely give her up. Well about a follow out out of the need along with you should 1st go to see mac mood after mama will make an appointment with the doctor so he can give us some advice. To be honest, the procedure takes a long time. And alicia, for you for we dont want to. Yes, it does. Hello. Well visit the nurse and this was, hes a friend of mine and a urologist la. And hell have an idea of how long it takes. He is over. Miss linkable official enter the Family Promise me that this will stay between the 2 of us will be not. Not. Yes, of course, if you havent gotten us too much too so unemotional. I dont know him. But if you know, he wont be open about the issue, i dont want to consult him. Love this dish out front of the calendar. Yes, i know you want someone very open minded. This will stay a secret as usual. No one will find out that you are actually lula and no ali morgan. Im not allah. Im ali. Yes, i knew but no, no, buts its your issue is that its not my business in that one. Yes it is. And because i dont see myself as allah, there is no out loud to it is what your documents say. I dont care about the documents, theyre not mine them. So i know its not part of our agreement, but how can we change this . And then we have to change your name 1st, right . Theres a procedure to be follow along with you to change your sex, right . We need to know the whole process soft jonah, and go on to them. Sure, sure job. Take them off the stew. Theyre done. That they need a bit longer. So i i i i must have until jenny with evelyn. Ive never worked with cars before, but i understand, but im working here now to beef up my body. A flint. Hey man, this isnt really my kind of job and my la la, im not Strong Enough to deal with deed because it takes muscles eisen. I carry around things that way more than i do up thinking a lot like all kinds of car parts and even engines on. And i wouldnt have been able to handle that before, but i can now and ive, ive been working here for 2 months on mr. Lyla, oh, well adam horn loudly. My co workers here are tall and strong ally at all, and they often asked me how i can do this work with such a small body shop than had i understood in asia was it was clear which harder. Ah, you have to put your weight on it from behind. I will let him know and a half how the and to talk on yesterday. I feel like im stronger than most normal men will shed bad. Or maybe i just think that to prove to myself, im a normal man lead. I shall be shuttled. Im a man, a man along with my job and goals and everything that goes with that. Shell the end of the dia, with the wrenches and positioned right. Should be straight. Ah more, more love and good job. Ah, ah, i had that militia model i had warned suddenly i started taking hormones 4 months ago handle. Lemme and thank god, the treatments showing effect city j. Oh, i said, ive also started learning german. Oh la la, i since im alone, elani memories of my time in prison. Come back to mind a careful, horrible details of my imprisonment. The vacillating images of the people. I was there with a nurse. Elegance. Now when i took out the plush asha i fan, i was detained on october 12th 20. 12 out that they caught me on dora highway with us. I used to smuggle people from damascus to dora and from dora to jordan. We would get them fake i d s and use the ideas to smuggle them across the border alone in san amanela. I was 1st attained in our son. I mean, oh, and later transferred to dara. And in dora, they put me in solitary confinement lives. There were mirrors everywhere in the cell. Meaning your every move was watched any that they bought a day and it was very cold. If he had been fat, i felt like i was losing my soul. Yeoman and i couldnt feel my blood. I can navigate the ladder. Huh. No one gave me any food or took me to the bathroom for 2 days on it. And nina and no, i mean they just gave me an empty bottle. When i entered the cell, la fi, a norman and water and left it. There is no mercy and no god inside the prison. And without getting a she, she thought thought it was horrible. Seeing the broken women get beaten by men, actually at the la shabanni or the jazz doodle toleta. And the dont been to had thought yeah. When they would take us to the bathroom and when we had to jump over dead bodies, voyages as there was blood all over the walls, get, let them not, hey, the bodies were wrapped in blankets, sunny and we had to jump over them with them. Goldman ford stole a cat to show after 2 months the beating stopped and i was taken out of solitary confinement. Ah, getting animal ah, at home mother philip comes away. When they opened the door of the prison. I saw around 25 women, a clothes line and a bucket really thin. It smelled very bad. Over them, head had on the swan, i live in the middle of it. All the women were eating, smiling, trying to have fun and singing. A song killing, killing bernard to apply remain stuck inside for a long time while women came and went with flower 40th, many were released to the d. That is eunice, but i stayed and prisoner solid rather then when i decide that, then how will it ill makin at some point i was put on trial and my case was finally discussed. Ill only enroll at a hunter like i was then released on bail, and i did carefully a way if she were medical, could shandy, carbon, and apply for that and i left the country. What law . Ah ah, ah. Oh ned. Allah, the woman told him, i died here and is never coming back. I have nothing left to lose mother because i dont know if i will ever breathe fresh air again. Lets not get her. Facilitate good min and dad, but in spite of it all, im sure im your son and not your daughter. But i know its very hard for you to hear that he had to say, but its how i was born. And a high level and im ali with his will and strength and added on monday. Ill never be as feminine as you for that. Please dont get upset once i get out of here. Oh ill only be ollie and wont be scared of anything any more myself she ever ah, there this may be got out of mac, im in bed. I changed my name through a court order in berlin the court and brought the medical report to the judge to sure. By then our 20th caught, i had to wait 6 months for the court to recognize me as transgender would. I want to let us. I went to france for my 1st trip after i was recognized as transgender lindley sch, zika for had a name on my passport, was finally ali hattie and it was the most satisfying thing ive ever done. Said b, how we had gone back then my id still said our life. I would get scared whenever i had to show it i can. But now i can show my id with confidence. Carlos, im incredibly happy. Accidental soul tie. A fell 30 away and no. I mary beth, asleep in the future. Ill. I want to have a little house with my family, hannah lynn, and gave all my feelings to some one who really deserves it. Oh no, well get it when not a foot. Well, im stuck it by. Im also thinking about adopting a child. Then. No, andy. Andy a shuttle agile. Ive always had parental feelings. We yes, but i never felt i could be a mother. She had a militia and let buffalo dami. Well, i met her, how was i able to live in that body before . Fact keith and i definitely did the right thing isnt to allow me luck and i will keep on going. Well, best. Who would, i guess its me, ah, i me and my i spent many great days with my aunt, damascus when im hayden, and i will never forget how she was, how she looked in the way she would think when she lived in damascus. The 40 i spent my whole childhood with her for cotton or wiley economy for coolness, beula and the think the same way. And nothing has changed for me. Between the 2, natalie. Leave and fill out a spill. I must have had no or appearance may have changed when she transition from a woman to a man. And it was strange for me at 1st. But ive worked on accepting it and no one can, you know, sways. And hed been this been a leave us and i only have to meet a minimal war, a call. I also live in exile and have no one here except my aunt, uncles and cousins. I have to maintain my family bonds. If you would like to talk to you on for an allows him coon, doesnt he . She is mostly on the mac and get sawyer. I dont think about what would have become of me if id stayed in syria. She houghton. I live in germany now that guns that got people are equal here than whether theyre male or female. Things are different in syria and throughout arabic, society, anna and son. Im a human being, i have the right to live high in it and i have the right to be happy and accepted chicken phobia mythology, a header, or a horn and a tester had also. Ive become older in this great city who had medina. It teaches you that you are a human being with your own identity and in a field, and that you can live normally actually on the internet. And thats all i wanted from my life. A 2nd phobia i didnt do anything to make myself an outcast athletic. Quite to the contrary. Im surrounded by friends who love me. Cool and i love them, hugs, and i, and they respect me to you and i respect them. I didnt want to get to the morning, can she . Ah ah ah ah ah oh i live at the alley is more than a friend who is like a brother to me. I and im like his older sister really. We are very close or you talk about our problems together. And sometimes we understand each other without even talking a forward on that is so i hadnt heard much more less than had been f came by. The best thing to bod, not from would not in full, as in my goal is to study photography, fun bottles for diamond inducted was 30 and had been to go. And my wife said that if the swindle who has, who hasnt been honda, i think we should finally focus on the important things until the end of the year. But youre already doing so many things. You have to play the fill them in the surgery. You really want more . Yes, i want more. I still have time to spare duet, father will add luca and emily and 2 days i will have abreast operation and it will be my 1st surgery and the so im a bit distressed but not because of the procedure itself is enough. Im afraid the same thing might happen as last time. When i came into the operating room, they told me the surgery wouldnt happen. A family, my lemon hail meadow, acre lot, all my documents are fine and ive received all the approvals which are very hard to get that. Im still stressed but very happy at the same time. Oh, im counting the minutes until the operation of grandma my. They thought it that need to morrow i have an appointment with the Plastic Surgeon lebanon. Well, of course, i could have never ever done this in my home country because the topic is taboo. Elemental, im at m yes, i can shoot. Im ready and prepared for anything. The i the she because its what i really want from the bottom of my hearty and i want to leave my old life behind and move on to the next step. I want to finish what ive started. I could never go back. Its impossible to turn around almost the hey, i want to keep going live the gift. Oh ah, ah. Mm. Ah, mm mm. What are you doing today . Ali and im having my breast surgery investment thought that way. I thought that hes scared that no, im not scared at all. Im not even dared about any complications that might arise. Im just not scared of the operation. Im going in there with optimism. And that has, if she has what, what i can do. But this is the 1st time in your life, youll get rid of physical parts of that or an a hey, thats what im particularly happy about. Hey, anecdotal sophia, and back and before the operation and i had to shave my chest, so that of shoddy allow for little hag. Today, i did a lot of things for the last time in my life. I got a letter ill, a month and paula. And im moving on to new things now that had no. Now do you see that . Im happy that from now on. Ill look the way i want. I see shaken video. Im for cash over the. Im at my then q 50. Ill go back to the gym and work out again, give a handy gillati out on me. A little handy kensington theater money lab. His own i have a lot of t shirts. I used to feel too shy to wear it, but now ill finally feel comfortable wearing them. Oh, in the sun nobody. I how i may feel a bit stressed and agitated mentally, but definitely not physically. I banjo for the in this more fear. Ah, [000 00 00;00] ah, let me assure you wont regret somebody. No, im not scared. Ill regret this operation. But im starting to feel a bit afraid of the surgery and especially the anesthesia. I want this very badly and i wont regret it. Bmw. Ah, ah, ah ah. Ah ah ah ah ah, i put all her clothes on, honey has a very good so and it will not have felt like on it when i met him. I didnt notice anything strange about him. So basically it was like meeting a man with a womans memories, united in one soul, rather in one body. If im sure yanine with time, i better understood how someone can be a man with the memories of a woman. How does she be . I think there would you even say no, but this makes aaliyah banks a man has the quarter because he understands women well and knows what he needs in life and where hes going. He has adapted his body to be the way he wanted it. Hello, and thats a beautiful thing i did about or like as to how a liberal i also like that and i was i didnt think i could ever be with a man. But ali changed that because he used to be a woman and knows how to treat women right. No work arent. Oh, i try not to make any of the typical mistakes men normally do with women for your work. And hes replaced the negative aspects of men with something positive power, making him the perfect man for me. Also, i let her know ive never found these qualities in any other men. Ive met. I live in this many perspectives and the mother of the me, well as i got a bite of dolly, even though is what the problems are in our society far and especially the ones related to the concepts of men and women can in the band. And hes trying to resolve them through his body. And so a little i never seen anything like that. Hes learning from himself. So for your help in that and understand that he has the ability to change his body and whole millions, but keep his memories as a woman intact, while progressing further. Whim should end up with ah easy, i bet on my forearm is basically made of silicone. Now or so loose of a tube goes into and out of my forearm every day for 7 months when its used to take flesh from my arm, which will then be replaced with flesh from my stomach to defeat. What did it food, the silicone tube and the tissue surrounding it will be used to create my new genitals. And the aim is further urethra to pass through the silicone tube. During the surgery of my forearm will be cut open here and here and later sewn back together. And the flash removed will be used to make my genitals haunt. They grow the head here which will be 3 centimeters. And from here they grow the testicles because it also 3 centimeters. It wouldnt chrissy then and theyll take flash from my thigh to reconstruct my forearm will eat. But then my genitals will be created and grafted yes i this model and i have been undergoing these operations for about 7 months now shifted a little bit tardy. And the next one is my final surgery, the special. Im so yeah then, and about a year there will be almost no scars visible snapshot. Ah ah, ah said amelia sally. And after the last operation, my roommate started to ask about us out in the neighborhood a because she may lead fan i replied that she is my wife z as to minor pow lanfield. Thanks bud. We dont actually want to put a label on our relationship building. Does that underneath the fat tid leaving me and shes my wife, my lover ins. My sister kim and i love my mother and i feel teacher and many other. Thank lucille and me, lou could shallow m less and the optic fee, but it gives you the feeling of greater inner stability if you can label your relationship on the other act. Hedwood. Hey, ive had Good Relationships and know nice people in my life. That blood su su, gave me true stability home little hat. For example, when i come home, i know theres some one who loves me waiting for me there. Understand nanny, the heavily enough to help me. I dont know a ladder. Its nice sitting here in the sun, miss williamson, this is all that of the last. This is a bit cold here. Are you called a bit . Why . Why didnt you tell me . Its no big deal. A law dekota lender. I left the netherlands and came to live here with ali or union county involved or we didnt really have a plan on see her again. Her fathers let her but we decided to live together after the co, with 19 pandemic broke out and has recently ha, daniel of sloth in an include that correct though. If you were to decide to get married, would you be afraid your families in Society Might not accept you from most of us . Well, let go gather the little girl. Oh, let me so that will answer them all, go all. And the linens live long. The, the family members that i care about and who care about me and who i have a Good Relationship with are all fine with it a. Yeah, theyve met ali, weve talked then and in the end i have the freedom to choose what i want in my life without being pressured from the outside. And under heavy it does. So this i was a had to look. Hey im still has class thought that it a mom, i transport medical samples for labs and doctors you by, you know, its been handed that i pick up the samples from doctors and take them to the central lab in berlin to be analyzed. The next day i pick up the results and bring them back to the doctors law. I work 8 hours a day, 7 days a week. Its about yeah, that is. But im happy because i dont have to carry anything heavy. She did that after i got the body i wanted, i moved into a house in berlin and i now have a girlfriend and a steady job. And literally i feel that my life started in berlin stuck, couldnt be shot. I was born in berlin and everything id ever dreamed of all happened in berlin if she linux that lengthy philosophy better. Mm mm mm ah, ah, ah ha honey. Oh, now hot at once i made peace with myself. Had i was able to love my former self. Allah ha ha ha. I respect her and am sorry for her because she always survived everything in her all the difficult chapters of her life. And when i ran away from my familys home, when i left the country, when i was forced to marry but ran away when i was detained and later i got out of prison human i always, she always survived and he had this dish, canada deep dish. I love that she has missed out on so many things since my transformation i with hide. So i decided to make up for it. And she and i got tattoos cut it in the middle here. Ill show you them mash, neil, hank. This is the tattoo with that tool thats ala and this is ali. Oh, allies week here. And ali is hugging her and giving her strength. Im got the hon. Unfortunately, thats because we live in a male dominated society. So if im a man, so i have to be strong, even if i dont want to be. And i have another tattoo. Yeah, i need that to any other school in this tattoo and dana than nothing. I will always hold her hand and thought out and help her up and among the little miss in the canada and econd. Oh my, im helping myself to deal with the situation with said a deal. And i did. He had a sheet in a little can, if i hadnt had all those operations natalie and had stayed, and syria, amelia alba lit, i no doubt would have had to fight for my life. But here, let no, because allah never could have survived it. It had come semester, but even when i say i picked the right path for allah and ali can, can, can, because otherwise my life could have ended like that of many other women who took their lives due to the abuse society condones to my. And i probably would have done the same thing. It wouldnt have been a sign of weakness for them. But simply a decision i ah ah, see for chicken, egg modem, chickens are stressed out there been bread to produce maximum heels, war, or fat. He meet in record time, animal friendly farming looks different. Breeders and scientists are searching for old and new measures. 30 minutes on d, w o. Ah, a lender contrast of ambitions of inequality. 75 years ago, Mahatma Gandhi peacefully led the country to independence, full of ideals. What is remained of his vision . Whats the status of human rights and social justice in whats called the Worlds Largest democracy . Willis, india head it. This is the pulpit tour unleash on violent bass and re imagine these teachings for relevance to gandhis legacy. Stuart to august 6th on d. W. Ah ah, this is dd be news live from berlin, ukrainian president villa dimmers, the lensky vows to re take control of the south Ukrainian Forces of fighting to recapture the house on region. They may be outdone by russian troops,