Joanne. She says popular is a swing set and just as hazardous to children. She kills kids. It is joanne know saw chin ska. Nosuchunsky. And it tvs andy levy. Weird . Yeah, go, see a doctor. And sitting next to me, sam morrell. He is as dry as a mummy. A block. The lede. Thats the first story. It was worse before. Are they turning punters into poppers . The dea wants to see how they play. Agents of a drug Drug Enforcement agency conducted unannounced checks of several nfl teams and training staffs after sundays games. The visits were apparently part of an investigation of claims made by former players that the teams routinely doll out pain pills without proper prescriptions. They believe they are giving guys all of these painkillers and medications and it doesnt transfer through state lines that they are not filling out the bottles and they are not giving them the labels and not telling them of the warnings and risks and they teal this is going on with trainers as opposed to doctors. Thats an amazing forehead. At least five teams confirm their staffs are investigated and the league says no irregularities were found. Meanwhile, the dea is investigating performance enhancing drugs in the mouse track and field. Here we go. That was completely a waste of my time and americas time. All right, sam, dont we just assume that everybody in the nfl is taking pills because it hurts to play . I dont understand the crime. The nfl is in bad shape so everything is under investigation. There is a 765 million class action suit that the nfl was concealing the risk of concussions. And thats with the players girlfriends. They raided tampa. Of course tampa they are on drugs. They live in tampa. If they werent on drugs they would realize they live in tampa. They have to be on drugs to live in tampa. I went to a tampa barns and noble and it was is delightful. Until they asked mooy to leave. Christina, nice to see you. Shouldnt there be other things on their plate . Going after athletic trainers and crap makes no sense to me. It is about time this is happening, actually. If you are in compliance with federal law, then what is the problem here . Swha are you hiding . What are you hiding . Why cant people do these random checks. I dont see what the problem is with this at all. Welcome to 1984, josephine stalin. Did you see what i said there . I dont know what iment. What i meant. Are there unannounced drug tests in the pageant world . This reminds me when i worked in restaurants and the Health Department was coming. You werent supposed to know when they were coming, but you always knew and you always got a tipoff that it was going to happen that week. For that week you are being vigilant. I dont believe this is random spotchecks. Someone had to have pulled someone so everyone can keep their ducks and drugs in a row. That may be the case. I dont know. Here is my problem. When they start raiding nfl doctors, our doctors arent safe. Thats true. I mean the doctors i coerce and put pressure on to give prescriptions for nonexistent pain, they will get scared. Is he still alive . He was doing fine. Alive and well. He is in the senior league. It is not an over statement to say without pain pills and things like shots there is no nfl. Not only do guys with injuries take them, but guys without them take them so they dont feel pain if they get hurt during the game. The only shrugs is to ban them except for the players on my fantasy football teams. They should be uh you lod to take the drugs, but everyone else it should be banned i think. I want to move on to a different footballrelated story. This happened to a Cincinnati Bengals player. Is that an actual phrase . He scored a touchdown and tried to give the ball to a bengals fan. Lets roll the tape. Can we show it again . Low motion. Slow motion. Isnt that nice . Is is that tony . It is not tony. Tony is not here tonight. That could be tony. Maybe tell people who uncle tony is. Did he give him the ball . The guy took the ball and kept it. Thats not nice. Way to go out on a limb. You know what they did, the organization got the woman another ball. Shouldnt that guy have given her the ball . Isnt that wrong . Dont give her the ball. The guy was a saints fan. What does he want the bengals touchdown football for. I was at a yankees game and mike lowell hit a foul ball off a pole and hits my friend in the head and goes to the er and my other friend takes the ball and never gave it to him. You snooze, you lose. Thats the message here. It is like any sport. You are saying girls cant catch. Thats the point. His throw was is so bad that i thought it was eli manning throwing it. This is a tough one. Do you blame the black man or the white woman, greg . On the one hand another example of the patriarcky and on the other hand centuries of oppression by possibly that womans ancestors. This is a tough one to judge from a social justice perspective. In the stadium they should develop reparations. I think everyone should get a football at the end. They dont give a hoot about his suit. A television anchor in australia, my favorite countrycontinent, wore the same blue suit, pants and jacket, every day for a year. Look the a that. It is to see if anyone would notice. Of course nobody did thanks to 6ism thanks to sexism. I am judged on my interviews and my appalling sense of humor where women are judged on what they are wearing or how their hair is is. It is another incident of sexist men. Isnt that right . Some call it resers reverse sexism. Could it be women judging other women . I think in this case it is women judging women and what they wear. Is that sexism . Now you are making my head hurt. Well that is sexist. The bigger question, did you change your underwear . If you are presumably changing your undies and socks. Meanwhile, would anyone notice if this dog wore fake eyebrows . That is terrifying. What two pieces of tape can do to a puppy. That point that women are judged more harshly by women, doesnt that kill the sexism argument once and for all . This drives home a sad reality and that is that women are much more harshly judged for their physical appearance than men. Working in this industry we know that. How was it only wilkinson and other colleagues that knew about the experiment . How come the other producers didnt notice he was wearing the same suit every day for a year . I dont know, but you avoided the question quite neatly. I said is it sexism if it is women. Did you avoid it dism . Maybe you did because you know she is wrong. I couldnt pay attention. Is this another example of white male privilege that nobody cares what he wears . There are better ways to raise points about sexism and maybe involving a drycleaners. You can say it is sexist, but nobody notices what guys wear. I have worn these for four months and the only comment i got was you smell bad. Technically you never have to clean your jeans. You never have to clean them. Just freeze them and it kills the bacteria. Or douse them in vodka. No really, it kills germs. We change our shirts and never change our jeans. Would you date a man who has one suit . Thats funny. No. You know what he should have done . This was not trying to make any kind of statement. This was laziness and not trying to pay a drycleaning bill. He would have said i probably would have worn 20 suits so i will donate 20 suits to this Homeless Organization and that gets Homeless People to clothing for interviews and whatever. That would have been much better and i would have liked them even more. I never would have done what she said. Thats a lot of efforts. I wear the same thing every day. If we just changed the color in the studio of my sweater this is the same sweater. I cant believe anyone hired him with the accent. You know he owns this company, right . He wore the same blue suit every day. If he wore a pink suit every day people would notice. If he wore a shirt with half naked ladies every day people would have noticed. We will discuss that in the next segment. Nobody would notice a blue suit. And he changed the shirt and tie. When you do that there is no way to tell if he is wearing the same suit. They call that the oreilly trick. There are only so many suits men can wear so women have to change it up. Report we always wearing a suit wherever we are . It is a suit of pain and insecurity. The irony is women force each other to dress differently. They want to dress differently. Women like clothes. It is a biological fact that was studied for years. They like shopping. Clothes reflect my mood. Exactly. If you notice what a guy is wearing, then he has failed. If what i am wearing is memorable, thats not manly. Thats absolutely right. If a guy says i will wear my special sweater because im going out. You say why did you wear that . You failed. They take much more chances. My easter sweater is a good example. It is funny that the irony is women dress different daily, but they look best in uniforms. Funny, greg. That is essentially what he did. He wore a uniform. Thats my point. When i was when i was in the army i wore the same thing. What are you suggesting . Do you mean a cast . That was unnecessary. I didnt say that well, why bring that into this now . The viewers dont need to hear that. Hang on. In case some of our viewers have forgotten that greg has on several occasion hes has a fetish for women and cats. I want to make sure they know what we are talking about. Cast of musicals. I like it when they are in a large ensemble. It was stage and they are enraged. They look like dirt bags for trying to take advantage of a tipsy girl on the streets of hollywood. The creator of the video seen by billions didnt mention the sketchy dude was actually a paid actor. Now they are ticked at being tricked. I am taking a bus to culver city. We are going somewhere else. Where are we going to go . To my house. How did that guy end up a viral villain . He told inside edition he was cast as a cad. The film maker and the girl actually the actress came up to me and she said would you mind acting out a role . I said what is the role and how much are you paying me . But would the men have agreed if they knew they were going to make them look leak sexual predators . I wouldnt have agreed to it if i knew they would make me look like a sexual predator. I dont think they anyway there is an upside to this sortedness. Actually for me being an actor it worked out pretty good in my favor. Everybody actually believed it was true. He is actually staring in the next scorsese film. There are stand up guys and this is a stand up cat. All right, sam. Could this video have been a good thing and launched their careers . We remember when daniel de lewis did this. This i idiot says they believe because i am an actor that i did a convincing job. It is like, no, there is no content. I think i am sympathetic men dont all behave like that and they were made to look a certain way than they might not have. I doubt it, but who knows . They are actors. I cant feel sorry for them. Where did they think this was going to go . They were paid to act like creeps. Where did they think this was going to end up . I cant feel sorry for them, i really cant. Defend your heros, the makers of this video. I dont want to do that. Condemn christina for a lack of sympathy. It is not a question of where they thought it was going to be. They thought they were filming something that would be in a comedy video. They didnt know they would be portrayed as actual creepy guys and not as actors playing creepy guys. I am just wonder figure they can sue or not. I have an interesting point. For many, many decades, you are an actress or so you claim. I believe you are one. Women have been taken advantage of by men who will say things like i am a director and i can put you in a movie and then the next day they are walking home going what did i just do . Bill cosby. In this case it is like the reverse. Somebody did that to guys. So maybe it is just justice. It is wrong. It is wrong. Film makers are great. It is an important lesson when you are first starting out. I was cast as a stay at home housewife and now mink think thats who i am and it is not right. You have to know that this could make or break yo are career. I dont think their careers are in jeopardy or they will have much of one. You know what, it really does it is hard to hurt an actor that you find on the street just hanging out. Thats hard to do. They dont have a rep or anything . The agent would tell you this is not a good choice for you. You know what this other thing is . It tells good natured men like myself never to help a drunk woman on the strait. You never know if it could be a prank and i dont want to be embarrassed when i help this woman to a hospital. You should have learned i mean all of those art films you thought you were making in college. You would think that after 40 years you would have learned by now not to do that anymore. Yet i see you out there weekend after weekend making the same mistake over and over. And i was tricked into making the emergency room lesson videos. It is what happens when you have to get something removed. That was for the med schools. You wouldnt think they would need a new video every week. The guy wasnt even a doctor. Coming up, envelopes, products used for mailing letters or tools for brainwashing students into a lifetime of evil. I dont know. A scientist wears a sexis tshirt. The story that wont go away because i refuse to let it go. He was appalled at the appallogy. Boris johnson, look at that hair, has come to the defense of the tacky shirtwearing scientist. Dr. Matt taylors triumph is helping to land a damn Pope Benedict on a comet. Who does that . Once in awhile. He was overshadowed by the socalled sexist choice of clothing. Taylor felt compelled to apologize. Lets watch. The shirt i wore this week, i made a big mistake and off fended many people and i am sorry about this. They say the apology was like a scene from the cultural revolution when weeping individuals were forced to confess their crime. They said what are we all . Islamic maniacs who thinks any misrepresentation of the human form is against god . He deserves the applaud of our country and those who bash him should hang their heads and apologize. I love this tabi. The only one more unhappy about this mess is this monkey. I dont know what his kids did last night, but they better clean up the mess. You must have been flipping the feces flinging the feces in the wrong place. He should be president of the world. Is there anyway to make that happen . No. At a time we are trying to get more women involved in technology this is not best choice. He apologized and he meant it and he was so emotional. Lets move on. I do. I dont want to move on. He changed the shirt halfway through the live stream. People went after him. He should not have apologized. He should have shaved and he should not wear the shirt anymore. This depresses me. It really depresses me. It is one of the most depressing stories. This is what it takes for people to recognize what the guy is wearing. This is the point proven. I almost wore an offensive shirt. It has the prove fed mohamed on it. Really . No. We expect him to be fashionable. We have him with fast we live in a world where we hold his opinion in higher regard. These are people who are bullies and dont give them the apology they want. Twitter is now the it is the mma of online bullying. It is where people go in and beat the crap out of other people with real achievements. That shirt does n keep women from science. It is womens tiny brains. I cant believe you said that. I have a scenario. If matt was a martha and she was wearing a men are dogs tshirt she would be applauded for her efforts and social statement. Feminists need to be careful. If we are fighting for equality, we shouldnt be diminishing the mens talents in the process. It didnt say women are dogs. It was a picture of women. I think the womens apparel was based on tattoo art. He had all of the art by the way, it is a very good point. What about guys with naked ladies . Andy . It is prot mat particular. Problematic. It is problematic. Probe. It was a good joke. It was. Neil armstrong said one giant leap foreman kind and not human kind. Very, very problematic. We keep applauding this guy. Obviously if was fake to to begin with. We hospital applaud thens like mankind and human kind. It sets us back as a species. Why does it feel so good to go after people . Even when we do it here, it feels good. When he had that shirt and it is like the woman who got on the plane and made a joke about aids. She was flying to africa and she said i hope i dont get aids, haha, im white. I wont. She was making a comment that black people are more likely to get aids and it sucks. She lands in south africa and doesnt have a job. On that 11, 12, 13, 14hour flight and everybody was on twitter going she is going to be canned. You know what i can do for that attention . Make an aids joke. People enjoy it. It is signaling. I am a good person. I am going after this person same as reality tv. I will say this. Perhaps online mobs might reduce the other kinds of mobs. Like would you be less likely to go on the street and beat up somebody if you are beating them up online . It is easier to do online. People believe pornography reduces sexual assault. Space exploration is getting the uh techs that they may not want. Lets exit on that. Was johnny depp drunk at an award show . Was joanne drunk right now . First, a word from our sponsor. Steve . This is a Public Service announcement from the hammer head shark. Sharks do not have mineralized bones so we make bad hammers. Please stop banging our heads against the metal mail. It hurts. It is not the chair. That was definitely out of your butt. Our cameraman just broke wind and blamed it on the chair. We cant show it because he is the cameraman. Hes safe. They can fart all they want. Fart away, cameraman. Fart away. He slurred every other word. I speak of walking lamp shade known as johnny depp who was called upon to present to an agent. What is the hollywood film awards . Like most of depps endeavors it started off awkwardly. Thats the weirdest microphone i have ever seen in my life. Look at this. All right. I am not very good at this kind of thing. Dont sell yourself short. Luckily he pulled it together. Watch, i am going to read this thing. For decades chef gordon has been one of the most beloved and respected talent managers in the music industry. I like when he drunk he sounds british. At least they didnt have to cut him off midread. What does that say . I mean, it is one of those nights. That ended poorly. Sam, was he charming or embarrassing or a mix of both . He is such a scamp. I knew something was wrong when he was wearing less than three scarves. I hope he doesnt have a real problem and we are just laughing at him. We are like look at that drunk idiot and then he over doses. Thats the risk with doing red eye. We maids we made a dom a dom dela wees joke and he doid that night. I will make a joe matthews joke. He is on tour right now. Or else he would be here instead of you. He will tune in tonight. He will love that. Wow, thats nice he said that. What greg said, thats good. Hi, sam. Dont you tune into these shows to see an actor get tanked. I dont want to see him nail it. It is a liability to the Network Airing this. I cant understand how that man got on the stage. I thought he was going to fall over. Is this an act on your part. Whether it is an act or not it is so bad for those accepting the award. I would be so ticked. He started out laughing and then you should have seen his face. Nobody would have known he got this award. Nobody would have known these awards happened. Thats it. Producers love when this happens because they love viewers. Utah was not doing well and the producers are like keep the camera on this. They like when a woman crumbles and almost ends her life johnny depp, a woman crop belying. This is about a viewer. I dont care about the show, the viewer is going this is great. You know what it is . Dean martin roasts. You remember them . Everything was drunk. Everything was a mess. It was an absolute mess. Depp didnt come off as charming. Peter otoole could have been like that and often was, but it was charming. You are saying this old guy is dumb. Excuse me, johnny depp is 68. What . No hes no the. He what born in 1947. No he was not. It is debatable whether or not this was the drink. It could have been a mixture of i would an an an antianxiety and you had one glass and a value or a xanax. Two and a half glasses and 10 milligrams is one. It is also that i hope he doesnt have it is not really news it is not not that an actor got wasted. This will only help his career. Lord knows he is hurting. Maybe he is methed acting. Jennifer lopez forgot the name of the movie she was presenting. I forgot the number of the faff movie shes was in. I have issues that have nothing to do with him being in it. Is this the first time . It happens every year and this is the first time it is aired. Why is this necessary. He made it necessary. There are too many things on johnny depp. It is like he walked into a strong wind examine all of this stuff stuck all over him. If you go on halloween and take a bunch of garbage and put it over your body. He is like a grandmother. Do you have a kleenex . He is like a fridays waiter. He is the most versatile actor that can play any type of dude. I believe this is an add vehicle station who was fred willard. He was the person he plays and debt was is a person who lowered his voice and he started talking like this and then moved to france and everything was slow. Then he made friends C Keith Richards and thats who he is now. It is all fake, but now has turned into this person. It is his persona. It happened to jack nicholson. You create a personality and you cant get out of it. Now he is one of those you know you walk into a gas station and they have the touristy things. You turn him around and you can find things you need to buy for your kids. You are turning into emergency room greg. I talked about it as a joke and now it is painful true. You dont hear me breaking wind. Cameraman. Anyway, i dont even know what that means, or do i . Thats the joy of pretending not to know. They cant catch you. Delightful goes sill when we come back. Here is what is coming up tomorrow on the independents. Well, hello. Did you hear about the charity ebola song . Band aid is back. We will see what those silly celebrities got wrong in the singsong. It is tomorrow night. Is it bad to gab . Talking about other people may be good for you even at work. Research shows that 90 of all Office Conversations are actually gossip. The other 10 are about how awesome i am. Thank you. A piece from the huffington post, they have them there. A made up name and did you see it in mad men . She says the whispering is seductive. Perhaps. The psychologist so she claims that goes spill goes spip can improve the mood. The targets of vital talk talk about here in productivity. Simply assume that anything she says will be used against you. On a scale of one to purple how good does gossiping feel . And you are a wan. We all gossip from time to time. You were doing it in the green room. These people were professional gossipers. I do think this has a lot to do with trust and bonding when you exchange see jets you feel closer with the friend because you know something that nobody else knows. I am wonder figure this is a learned behavior. It happens at an early age. If employers made people more mindful that their emails could be read on their inconstant messages, you would see a huge decline in the office of goes ship which is not good when it is malicious and intended to hurt. I got it. Tmz is the most popular website. You get closer to someone without sharing anything about yourself. Kim kardashian has is 25 million twitter followers and people feel close to her. They probably said i am going bang her at some poin. Technically we are puller because graph fee is so big. And you spread rumors about herself. Does it help . If you cant join them, beat them. I am so good at goes shipping, because i make feel feel safe and they tell me things and then i go to another gap they were talking about. I bounce around. I am a floater. I dont say anything. I listen and people appreciate that. What you do is turn it into currency. Thats what gossiping is about. I dont spends her whole day texting people about what happened in the office. Or i email it to them. I know that is a lie because nothing absolutely happens at our office. There is nothing in red eye. We are so boring. It is sad in a weird way. Once you at like 4 dock you go downstairs and thats when the strobe light come on. From 4 00 to 6 00 it is off the chain. I come back and everybody is just back to normal. That was stupid. You cant gossip over feelings. They have to be fuel facts. It cant be your shots, you have to indulge negative behaviors that make you feel good about who you are competing with. What if there is no come pa you tigs . Dash competition . No . You are a weirdy. Coming up, a dating app that gives uh grade. Do you have videos of animals go to fox knew. Com red eye. Where is the arrow. Oh, there it is hey matt, whats up . Im just looking over the company bills. Is that what we pay for internet . Yup. Dsl is about 90 bucks a month. Thats funny, for that price with comcast business, i think you get like 50 megabits. Wow thats fast. Personally, i prefer a slow internet. There is something about the sweet meditative glow of a loading website. Dont listen to the naysayer. Switch to comcast Business Today and get 50 megabits per second for 89. 95. Comcast business. Built for business. Next red eye. Kt mcfarland. Some weird guy. E block. Last story. Thats the last story. A good grade could get you laid. A new dating app helps user usa void creeps by ranking everyone a plus to f based on popularity and manors. It is like grade school. If a persons messages are offensive or a bad grammar they get a bad grade and they are shunned. We want to create a high quality pool of daters. There is no accountability for their behavior. Thats why we meet people in parks, sam. Do you really want to be with somebody who is an a . I will stick to tinder. I dont need this. Women shouldnt have to deal with creeps. I brought a girl back from a bar and she said are you going to kill me . I said no and she said okay lets go to your place. I said thats your screening process for killers . Your killer peers are going to say you will ask if you will kill her. She asked so many times i said i may actually kill you now. Christina is this a move in the right direction for Online Dating . It is a move root right direction, but i wonder how effective this is. It is possible to weed out the pro fan tee. It could be well written with grammar punctuation and still be creepy. Jenna tale yaw. I spell it wrong all the time. What does that mean . I am in. It is like a campbel to me. Campbel to me. Andy, thoughts . It is not the computer who does it. It is the palm afforded to do it. It is anal go rete them. People vote . This is a republic. I just know there was a time i was i met this girl at a bar and she said you are not going to kill me, are you . I said i am not clear voi clairvoyant and then she didnt come home with me. I wont lie and pretend i know the future. Thats good news for you. Thats why you are alone. I am honestly alone. They say message squat and grammar reflects ones grade. They are discriminating against people with less education or fewer education. Sorry. Wait. I wrote that question. There is no such thing as fewer education. They showed that in a different they show that in the different burrows. They get better grades and queens and the bronx then you wonder if the communities or the neighborhood had something to do with the grave. Im fine with this, but i dont go to other burrow or the dating app. Somebody special. It is me. Yes, it is. Im sick of you. We have to move on. It is actually the end of show. Thank you, christina, andy levey, joanne nosuchunsky. That does it for me. Im greg gutfeld. See you next time. Unextension that might have one gruber envious about how to conduct the crisis. Im dana along with kimberly, bob, eric and this jokester, its 5 00 in new orleans and this is the five. Jonathan kbrub grub at milting americans were deceived got obama care. I just heard about this, i get well briefed before i come out here. The fact that some adviser who never worked on our staff u expressed an opinion that i