Transcripts For FOXNEWSW The Greg Gutfeld Show 20171008

Americans are americans, lets make sure people remember that. If they arent the highest priority of your government and responding to such a terrible natural disaster, what are you spending your time doing . Gulping, testing, watching tv . Five somewhere there is someone running around without the cloak on. But issue. She is questioning this administrations priorities about saving americans. Talk about the pot calling the kettle but got the. [cheering and applause] there is not one but three hurricane Recovery Efforts going on right now, plus las vegas and its terrible. Its easy to sit onto the couch yakking about how she felt all of our problems, so much better than this guy. Could have, would have, should have. Most nothing part happen later when Jimmy Fallons writers came out and read thank you notes to hillary for over six minutes. The will show you the shortened version. The long version could melt your flesh into a hot petal. That was bad. Was that bad, may be awful. They gave thank you notes to hillary and later sent seized and his letters to bill. [laughter] can all agree that if there is a hell, that segment will be playing in the innermost circle of it for all of eternity. Had to choose between that and a 3inch live cricket blowing deeply into your ear canal, you would take the cricket and in the family. I dont get it, shouldnt these young women the reading hillary the riot act instead of thank you know . Boohoo. Baloney. It was her candidacy that elect donald trump you distrust damsels. Talk world first losing work. Things are usually for the previous but this is a neverending session of prophetic copout and self righteous regret. Never has one person made it so much out of doing so little. Is determined by bitterness over her loss or is it all about greed to gin up sales there is an upside but as for her husband bill. While she is on tour, she is only just. Cut back im not done. She beside the books, he will be signing. She will read a passage, will be trying to enter one. [laughter] as annoying as this is, remember this, wouldnt you rather have her on a tacky couch that in the oval office . This is a small price to pay to keep from hearing this every day. Having said all this, why are die 50 points ahead, you might ask . Five we have and it never gets old. As long as she is on tv and not on the white house i will be proud to say that i had with her. Lets look at tonights guest. He is so sharp you will get splinters if you go. , author and political commentator, mark stein. On the outside, he they can install on the inside, g. I. Joe and tougher than a well done stake in trigonometry class, pete. Her glasses can be seen from space, National Review reporter kat sims. Finally, for water in a footprint and you have a sweet pool, tyrus. [cheering and applause] mark stein, i was watching this and i thought it was up let us get that fallon was pulling on everybody and then i realized it wasnt. Did you make of this . These are supposed to comedy writers and i have never given advice on writing but the one thing i said years ago is that you should always be able to see the company in your own side and i dont know what happened to these people but they cant. What i thought was going to happen because normally when politicians go on the shows they do jokes and your mother last time i was on i said i like to hillary telling jokes because she does the bubbleheaded thing and i looked up one that she did during the campaign which was a great joke. Hillary actually did this for at a fundraiser. She goes, i hear its a man just invented even go. I am waiting for someone to invent pokemon go to the polls. Give it up. [laughter] i dont understand how professional. Comedy writers when youve got this hotshot comedian in front of you, still doing these trippy, lipid piano music. Kelly i thought the funeral was what made it. The punchline was of this be in the desert. You see it coming and its like a plane it la guardia taking 40 minutes to go from the gate to the runway you can see it in the pilot is saying hillarys punchline is 18 for takeoff. [laughter] and that is how it is hillary tells a joke. Five what did you make a, cat . I sure am. A female and a writer. Thats two fulltime occupations. What grinds my gears about this is that you have people say positive. Talking about hillary but hillary wont stop talking about hillary. Its like if you have a friend that says the appointment wont stop texting me but im actually texting him first but he is replying to me. Its the same exact thing. Are going to be on the set where people are writing thank you notes to a loser, it is my civic duty to make fun of that. [cheering and applause] five what about you, pete i do believe that they were earnest in their letters. They were completely earnest. In fact, that is the expose of safer Fox News Channel every single newsroom in the city is full of male and female writers who are lock, stock and barrel progressive liberals pretend to be journalist in give us news that is unbiased when in actuality they are complete leftists writing jokes about republicans who cant laugh at themselves in the worst candidate they ever iran in history. On the miley cyrus thing, i thought the first had to be a joke and is pretending to cry so she can edit with the punchline but the woman who taught us to do work is trying about hillary clinton. Greg i think tyrus is going to disagree. Hell, no. It wasnt anybody called miley cyrus. Her name was yvette johnson. [laughter] look, five you have never written me a thank you note to wait for it. You something to look forward to. This is our fault, greg. This is president s fault, your fault, my fault, you all fault. When you win, you win. You dont say nothing to the dude you knocked out in the ring. You move on. We keep and we are putting down and were putting down insane loser. But she started it. No, we ended it when we want. But were still playing with her. She was dragon lady and she couldnt get on the talk shows and even her other side with hillary, go away. We keep looking at her. Im nothing she would relating to grandma in that segment in all those crying hard to stuff were starting something. You go from kicking someones ass until its overkill and now its your fault. You all watch, this will keep the back. Shes relevant and this is our fault. When i was three i was told that if i didnt like someone, ignore them. You ignore someone and eventually they go away. You keep responding. But how is that fun . [laughter] okay. Got a question for going around and youre keeping her relevant. Watch it. Greg i got a great segment out of this. Those letters are the best thing on tv. They really are. They are. You are teaching her image. Why did miley cyrus i forgot about the turkey and put it you like to see her teach hillary how to turn . Back. Greg what i would like to see what happened on thursday with President Trump building puerto rico. We are also paying for the people of puerto rico. We love puerto rico. In we also love puerto rico. Greg i dont understand but it makes me laugh. I dont know. Coming up, late night comics cant stop lecturing you on gun control. It beats writing jokes. If you could book a flight, then add a hotel, or car, or activity in one place and save, where would you go . Expedia. Look how beautiful it is. Honey, we need to talk. We do . I took the trash out. I know and thank you so much for that. I think we should get a Medicare Supplement insurance plan. Right now . Whether youre new to medicare or not, you may know it only covers about 80 of your part b medical expenses. Its up to you to pay the difference. 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Celebs in media already looked out on gun owners. Its the south, trumpeters, if you like the second limit you must be a toothless hick that tries squirrels with your halfsister on a date. Finally, they feel guilty about the role they play in a culture that thrives on glorified violence. They hate guns except when they make the money. After all these emotions evaporate all you have is backs. Biggest is a well planned mass execution by one man in a sea of 7 billion people. We need to make such be meaningless, reduce that media. That is why we didnt show tonight but it will happen again in it could be worse. Terrified on the learning curve. This event is taught terrorist a thing or two. The theme target open air venues. We need to get ahead of this not just about both stock split barriers. Embrace security, prevent attacks with new technology. Could a storm of drones shield us against a terrorist and an outdoor concert . That seems possible. This is where Solutions Come from, not from comics under the emotion that adults armed with knowledge. It has to be hard for you to be looked at by well protected celebrities who exist in the rarefied air of bel air and upper manhattan no need for firearms. Their Security Team is strapped. You dont have that luxury. I am one of the people who dont mind when people express their emotional anger or whatever partisan side that they take but i dont like when they impugn your motives when kimball says it makes you feel bad because he knows that we are guilty. You value of donna more than a life. No, maybe i value the life of my family and i own not just one gun but miniguns. [cheering and applause] when you are in a tough situation either you take initiative or in you dont. A lot of folks still live in the middle of the city for a cop is on every Street Corner but in a place where the county sheriffs ten minutes away. The left will exploit what tom emanuel said, never pass an opportunity or crisis to advance your agenda and will continue to do that and this is another example. I dont why the republican conservatives, nra should never retreat on this issue. This is a country of gun owners because we are a free people in a free society and unfortunately in a free society allows a maniac like this guy to maniacally plan Something Like this and execute. You cant policy your way out of this. Stand by your tyrus, i think it has to do with these people live in a well protected area but well america has to take a while for the cops to get their. I think five you are a bodyguard. Right, mostly seen piece of meat made guys job faster so i will have a smaller guy like your size carry the gun because, you know, thats real talk. Thats how i did it. My point rico was your height and no one saw him but if they saw him it was the last thing they saw. I told him thinking god his ass had a 45. I dont thank you should ever have a conversation about him under americans being regulated for guns. I do think though that if you want to own the guns and you want to have a warehouse full of bullets and maybe there should be some form of registering or the fbi stepped in at some point and just checking to see why god has hunted if there is an extreme. But who draw that line. Me personally . Fifty seems a good number but you know, i only have two hands but at the same time i dont want someone tell me what i can and cannot oh. I owe guns and my friends own guns theres something to be in it and we have to be careful because we live in a time where people dont want to fix problems. Look, theres the argument about the talks about the knife and the trucks and when the situation happened plane, tsa and everything changed. Orbit changed and you had to go through annoying security but we havent had an incident. Maybe our hotels it could be annoying security and they may scan your bag and its a pain in the ass but its hard for a guy to get in ten bags of guns if so, what is this . Greg i know a lot of people are complaining about now but it works. But eventually people will resent that. Everything you do you have to go through security. You made a good point that you thought it was bel air and manhattan bowing to the south. These celebrities, latenight guys, if the rest of the world condescending to america. I know these latenight goes you have trevor noah, james gordon, john oliver and i dont know about you but if theres one thing i cant stand is somes not nosed foreigner. [laughter] with a weirdo accident telling you guys what is wrong with your country and i dont im the only its not nosed foreigner without my own latenight show that i dont know what im doing wrong but i dont know why americans put up with it. What is the point of july the fourth, 1776 if you have British Commonwealth guys hogging up your airtime . Greg i like that you argued against her own opinion. That last, what you make of this . What a tragedy like this happens expected of people who argue against the Second Amendment protection and those who argue for but the Second Amendment is the argument. Left is always fun to say that we have to get the guns off the street and its obsolete, no, it isnt until its two thirds of the houses and three floors of the state agree that it is or the constitutional commended as detailed in article five and thats how we do things here. [cheering and applause] either the constitution protects your freedom or it doesnt. You have to respect it. Im playing for sensible gun control but hitting rid of all guns is not. Greg still to come, President Trump just surpassed hope. This in twitter followers. We will discuss what that means which is probably nothing. Which is probably nothing. [cheering and applause] i decided to have my dna tested through ancestry dna. The big surprise was were not german at all. 52 of my dna comes from scotland and ireland. So, i traded in my lederhosen for a kilt. Ancestry has many paths to discovering your story. Get started for free at ancestry. Com. Cousins evacuated lowlying coastal areas while others sheltered in place tens of thousands of lost power. A curfew was lifted in new orleans when the National Weather Service Canceled this hurricane warning. The center will now move across the deep south the Tennessee Valley and the appalachian mountains. Nate is the fourth major storm to hit the us in less than two months. Im patti ann brown, now back to the greg gutfeld show five vatican, more like that i cant. [cheering and applause] we are done here. This week President Trump surpassed an important milestone. He is more twitter followers than any world leader including the holiest of tweets, pope francis. It passed 39. 7 million followers. That is more than the popes nine different twitter account combined. For more on this we saw, from princess himself. I congratulate President Trump on is a president for followers but i urge people to watch the greg gutfeld show. It is my favorite and it will be yours, to. Greg thank you so much. I take back everything i said. Tyrus, i have problems with twitter. I you do have problems five there are people with the blue check that creates the assumption that those who dont are better. Greg hundred. The blue check saves people from talking with girls who are really men. I like to make sure that most people who im talking to are talking to. Greg you should have gone for coffee that day it was jesse watters. And then you cant leave because l0l, he showed up and you have to stay there and say how am i going to get out of this. Yeah, ill have a cappuccino or whatever. Greg is is a big deal . Is that he is beating the pope . We all like the circus more than church so, you know. Every time he comes out hes like clint eastwood. You ever have a donald trump speech right now where he was born . He came out and for the call before the storm and what is the main . Greg he just told planet earth. He was like i am with the military, im a bad ass, check it out five cat, is are an accurate section of our society to work. Unfortunately, sometimes for her specifically its one place where youre not going to be like the people i follow arent the nicest or most pious people. Thats not what youre looking for. Youre looking for interesting and theres a reason why nuns dont have reality shows. I was raised very catholic and we went on a weeklong Family Vacation to a catholic wilderness retreat and there was no Running Water but those nuns were dope and i had a wonderful time you look for the dude factor when you following someone on her and there is no one more than President Trump on social media. [cheering and applause] greg i have to tell you what bothers me about the pope, is all the pontificating. [laughter] i thank you would have been more upset that he is nine catfish accounts. What is he doing with all those accounts . Greg i am just proud of my stupid joke. Let me wallow in it. It is like one real blue check account and a stock account and then i find it. Jesus, this is the gospel according to matthew chapter four and jesus saith unto them, follow me. [laughter] it is right there in black and white. What is the pope up to . Greg different for actresses because theyre in different languages. God, obviously paul is the pope and hes got a direct line. It is twitter so talking about World Leaders but if you added the pope and donald trump there still 20 million short of Justin Bieber. Justin bieber has 100 million for followers. And got follows Justin Bieber as well. Is like your late night shows, canadians, south africans and its the same thing. 1776 never happened. Justin bieber beats the pope and trump combined. Go canada. [laughter] is annoying because everyone tries to be a comedian . Greg is the opposite. If you say Something Like it is nice outside, not like the deficit. I to something about sparkling water yesterday and someone said you should be drinking liberal teat. Why is my bubbly water political . At least her they cant go on and on. The lease with her you got to get it in and get it out. Greg coming up, o. J. Simpson is dead set against going broke. He is shopping his first interview but will anyone pay his hefty feet. That is next. [cheering and applause] greg his story may be inviting but no one is fighting. O. J. Simpson or to quit a nickname, the juice, once a sevenfigure payout for his first interview. He is asking three5 million but they have all poorly passed on an interview saying it would violate news standards. As for simpson, a claim source quotes he has photos in jail from his time in jail with friends and family and this could be a major deal to any. Lawyer denies the report. Still simpson makes money it would be subject to seizure for the millions old families the civil case. The goldmans lawyer says due to interest its up to 70 million. If you pay oj have you end up paying them and thats a good thing. Either way, oj is out of jail and i dont thank you should go on outnumbered. That is not one lucky guy he is sitting next to on outnumbered. [laughter] i think it would be a bad thing. Mark . Am i a hypocrite because i would watch the interview but i wouldnt do the interview that validates doing the interview was, and he wouldnt pay 5 million, 3 million, i think that ship has all that white bronco has sailed. The thing about old what struck me was that he got old in jail so it doesnt look like he did in naked gun and that was like the last thing he did. With celebrities what you want to know about him is what turned him into the nice guy from those naked gun movies and all the rest then became and thats the one thing he never will talk about. Why do you want to pay a multimillion dollar some to see some old guy who looks vaguely like a guy you remember from 25 years ago showing you a picture of someone you dont recognize visiting him in person . What do they get for their money . Greg tyrus, is it a good thing if the interview happens and the money goes to the families . No, because at this the time i would think the family wants closer to move on. Poor child of the story and i dont care what he did in prison and i think most americans should not care either. Hes holding on and heres the thing. 3 million to hear his story unless you have someone in the contract you get to as the milliondollar question because it be 45 minutes of for the final question, six commercials, did you do it . And then there would be a commercial and tune in next week for part two of the riveting in your view of oj. He was acquitted by a jury of his peers and he stole his own stuff back and got 12 years or Something Like that so lets just move on. No one pay that money because heres whats going to happen, it will get cheaper. Five it will be oj sitting in his boxers on bravo. Therapy a weird, con. Greg oh wait, he did that picture he went into jail. Theres a generation of people who dont see him the way we see him because they werent around when he killed those two people. I was in junior high when the trial happened and the school shut down and it riveted the country. Younger people today dont know who he was as an athlete, what he did as a criminal and how much it captured an entire nation. It i wouldnt say i would sit down and watch oj because i think it was saturday night and i happen to stumble upon it i would think it would be interesting but. Just go out on a saturday night. No to watch. He is already basically told her side of the story in the book he wrote. Greg peter and instagram will be full of selfish oj because if he is out, no one will walk by him and not say picture, can i get a picture so every time you go on to her there will be some joker with their arm around oj. There were radio djs flirting with him when he was out and i remember watching. I think that i will say this interview and i dont see the point of it because they will ask him questions and hell give answers and we all know how good he is at telling the truth. When i was in prison i taught everyone have to read and i taught everybody got certified in everything and i was so great to everybody but he cant be trusted for anything. I seen a lot of documentaries so even though i wasnt there a lot of documentaries and im bored with him already. Greg he was so lucky this week that so much bad stuff was going on. He snuck out the back door of a bar wall there was a fight going on in the front. There were hurricanes in a shooting and they let him out at midnight. Is he lucky or sad . I think that is a great place. When youre dealing with a sociopath he wants that attention in will continue to do things. Held me back in jail. He thanks he is still oj and is still loved five still to come, rock n roll hall of fame nominees are in. Will this be the year that [inaudible] finally it makes it in . [cheering and applause] for years, at t has been promising fast internet to small businesses. But for many businesses, its out of reach. Why promise something you cant deliver . Comcast business is different. We deliver superfast internet with speeds of 150 megabits per second across our entire network, to more companies, in more locations, than at t. We do business where you do business. Greg for crazy talented men have been stopped again. The nominees for the class of 2018 for the rock n roll and the monkeys are nowhere to be found. Its [bleep]. Seriously, they are the real beetles. The list features a bust of firsttime nominees including radiohead, who are they . To this priest, the moody blues, very depressing. Eurythmics, dire straits, rage against the machine, bunch of babies. Also on the ballot bon jovi, ll cool j [inaudible] it had to be released in 1992 earlier. That illuminates my favorite artist. [laughter] grammy hall of fame with a shot of that one. Greg you are not limited, do you think there should be a hall of fame for something that is the years ultrasparc. No, ive never liked the rock n roll hall of fame because it should be the [inaudible] it should be the and. This was astonishing to me. It receives federal subsidy and it is like harry reid and trust me, cowboy poets every now and then and if rock n roll isnt profitable then nothing is. If you said to me have you checked out the new bondage dungeon on the third street, its really great sense of federal grant money. [laughter] what is the point . If rock n roll is not possible what is the point of it. Greg by the way, i wouldnt want them to improve that dungeon. Cat, you probably werent even born when these acts were around, what is your thoughts. Saying that its about fame and not talent then i think radiohead will get in and should get in. I dont even like them but the kind of guys i like have to be strange malnourished and sad and those guys always like radioheads ive been having to pretend to like radiohead for years to get these men even though the music is elaborate moaning and whining over ring tone sounds and if that is not a manpower that will get me to do that for someone else that i dont know what else is. Greg you should date men who like musicals. Certainly not. Greg pete, anyone you like. Is ll cool j rock n roll . Greg hes part of it. Is a pop, rock n roll . So the whole part is everything other than rock . Greg they are all the same. Isnt rock n roll not supposed to care about fame. Are they supposed to be like look at how tight my pants are and i dont care, screw you. A guy from judas priest, i like showtunes and you used to say some when you date someone like showtunes shes not looking promising and the guys from judas priest hit on me many years ago and so, this is the insanity of the world today that a gay heavymetal guy hits on a heterosexual showtunes guy. [laughter] i couldve handled the sex but the music is so [inaudible] [laughter] greg terrorists, say whatever you want. Im trying to get my mind around that. Enough said. [laughter] greg dont go anywhere. Tyrus goes to dc to be White House Press secretary for a day. The shocking tape, next. Lori today more than ever age is just a number, and the perfect example of that is my good friend cindy crawford. 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Running out of time so tyrus. Check it out. I got a chance to go to washington and show you how to handle the press the right way. Lets keep this quick because i have a busy weekend. Me, greg and kat are going to our weekly trip of dave and busters. Have you been to dave and busters . It is amazing. Besides, thats how we prep for the show. If it aint broke in your spine how that is helpful to the effort . Bro, its an arcade where they serve steak. Plus, last sunday kat 1a6foot teddy bear at the ski ball tournament. Its not a big deal, its a gang. Yeah, its ski ball, note that nobel peace prize. Dave and busters is incredible. Its got ski ball, pop a shot, pacman, why arent you writing this down . Thank you. Like i was a, its got the air hockey, dance revolution and rumor has it, they might get a lou dobbs pinball machine. I mean, yeah, its lou freaking dobbs. It will be awesome. Will you let us know question. Hell, yeah, ill let you know. You just used your one question. Anyway, im out. [applause] thanks to kat sims, pete, mark and tyrus in our studio audience. I love you america