Avoid groups of 50 or more. Schools and bars across reopen with max her occupancy. For states with no signs of a coronavirus rebound, workplaces can resume with unrestricted staffing. Visits to hospitals and Senior Living facilities can resume. What does nancy pelosi call the guidelines . Vague and inconsistent. But how dialed in is she . Lets check in with the butt kisser to the stars, james corden. What are you going to show us from your home . Chocolate. Chocolate candy, and this is something you can get through the mail. Can i show you . Absolutely. This is the episode of crips i never knew i need. Other people in our family look for other flavors. Buff chocolate. Then we have some other chocolate here. Greg he offered no progress cal advice. Now you are showing open your doublewide freezer shocked with enough ice cream to feed guam. Sit this one out, nancy and keep stuffing your frozen face with frozen yogurt. Joe biden said this. I wouldnt call it a plan. I think what he has done is punted. He decided he doesnt have the right to make the call for the country and he talked about phases in the generic sense seem to me from all i learned and all i listened in my morning briefs from the docs i talk to us irrational and doesnt give you any hard guidelines. Greg what the hell is he talking about . If trump tried to call the shots joe would have called him a dictator or tie rant. Trump offers a framework to let the governors make the call and now hes punting . I think joe is probably playing yadzi. As this moment in time continues so do you for now. There are stresses and they are starting to show. I am not going to lie. Its been a strain on relationships. This was my wife and i before the quarantine. And this is us now. Its getting to everyone and creating a world of disturbing mysteries. Who is the person in maryland getting his mail in his underwear. This Facebook Post from tommytown police. Please remember to put pants on before leaving our house to check your mailbox. Its funny how he goes out in his underwear. Its good advice. Greg i have got to wonder. I get it, no job, no schedule, tv on all day. Its like being danas dog. In michigan you saw a massive protest against a governor who said you couldnt buy gardening seeds. If thats not micromanaging, what is . It seems like an essential thing in a pandemic . Well trust our leaders until they push their luck, then we get pissed. Now we are looking at a cool, calm collected america. But it could be like the fake sets on the tv westerns. I have a feeling that we are all telepathic that you and i both know what both of us are thinking because we are thinking the same thing. You know what i mean. Lets say you and i are in a bar and some dude shows up in a snake and a tutu. We know without making eye contact that this place is great. This also happens on oscar night. This is the third hour of the oozing wound of entertainment. The entire country knows its time to turn it off and we do. We are like a boy band. We are a connected brain. Our humanity unites us and tells us when we are ready. Now it feels like we are ready to go back to work in phases. I think its week five. We are patient, we are patriotic. We are adults. We did the heroic thing. Now we have to do the realistic thing which is weighing the risk of behavior. We sacrificed a lot to protect the vulnerable and well still do that. But as the Unemployment Rate inches closer to horrifying. We have got to ask. What is adam schiff doing . He says his House Intelligence Committee is conducting realtime oversight of trumps coronavirus response. But from home. So the guy who captured all the attention, causing the media to miss this outbreak is trying to do it again . You can imagine what hes really doing at home. And now adam schiff quarantine video diary. Remember, clean hands. Always remember, wear your mask. I myself like to go with the triple protection. Come and get me corona. I think its time to flatten some curves of my own. Make it burn. Remember your social distancing. Keep six feet away at all times. Did you hear that wilson . Get away. Wilson greg oh, i miss him. Trump announced we are pulling funding from the abysmal World Health Organization. This was an attempt by the president to steer you away from his own actions. If you go through the scape goats he blames for this pandemic what you are seeing is a president who deflects demeans and denounces others as opposed to taking responsibility. Greg its amazing how every day for the media is still the first day of trumps presidency. Hes force an entity to do a better job or else. Show the guy a tire and he will kick it. Like the media he understands persuasion. The media like children see tough decisions like scary and mean. The economy will return and you will exit this real moment in time smarter, wiser, stronger. We did the right thing. We sacrificed a lot. Maybe its time for some of us to get back to work. If we dont, we are all screwed. But you dont have to listen to me. Its okay. Because im listening to you and i hear what you are saying. Its almost like we are thinking the same thoughts. Lets welcome tonights guests. He could kill you with a fig newton then eat the fig newton, mike baker. Hes my fourth favorite tom after bosley and sell he can, tom shillue. She is the pinnacle of cynical, host of sincerely kat, kat timpf. And host of foxnation, tyrus. Mike, what do you think of trumps plan . Mike i like it. I disagree with joe bidens comments that it seems you know, you be coordinated and not possessing any guidelines. Trump has got to be the worlds greatest troller. He said he had the total authority to decide when and how to open the country. The media went crazy for a few days. Then what did he do . They issue guidelines. They give the decision make together governors which is what the governors wanted all along. The only part that doesnt make any phase. In the first phase of this you are allowed to reopen the jims because god forbid there reopen the gyms. Because there is no way something will get transmitted in a sweaty gym. I think the gym should be in phase two perhaps. Greg you pointed out what trump had done with the governors. It was the tom sawyer paint the fence trick. All right, shilluey, what are you making of the situation. Either way we are faced with some kind of risk no matter what we do. Tom most people want to get back to work. We are working now. I think you are in the next room, if i am right. But we are learning how to separate. We are learning how to prevent getting this illness. Let us get back to work and show all the things we learned. We have to get out of our houses. And i think the president realizes that. Greg kat, what do you make of the protests in your home state of michigan. Kat why do people have to wear pants to check the mail . These are trying times. Okay . If someone out there can get the slightest thrill walking 5000 50100 steps to the mailbox with their butt flapping in the winds. Who am i to protest. I know things are bad in michigan. I dont understand how more people are going to get sick if they are buying seeds to grow crops. Again the governors have the decision making. And i completely agree with you and i completely agree with mike baker. He doesnt want responsibility for any of this. Im old enough to remember when people were mad about this whole total authority. I only remember this base was alive tuesday. I am not saying you cant have a problem with anything he says. But if you are getting mad equally about opposite things in the same week, you dont have a problem with the thing, you just have a problem because hes the one saying it. Have a principle. Like one even. Greg i wonder if there is a half nudest camp where people get half nude. Have you ever thought about that . Tyrus . Tyrus not until must now. I wish i hadnt. It now will forever live in my brain. Greg rough going to be eating those fish. Tyrus these are my fish children. How dare you. Yes, im going to be eating the fish, greg. Greg greg what do you make of e phase three plan. Tyrus i wire we could go to phase 7. I think its funny. Since i have had so much time to watch tv, im convinced its just the media, the Mainstream Media is a back seat driver. No matter which way you know, they have a better way. They say i have the responsibility, i got it. No, how dare you. Just how dare you. How about i wont do anything. How dare you. It doesnt matter what the sentence is. He could have those news conferences where he comes up to speak and it doesnt matter what he talks about. He could talk about what he had for breakfast. What, no protein . He just had cereal . How dare you. Greg politicians dont want skin in the game. They want to wait until after something happens then they can come in like a vulture. Go wash your what does it mean to be a Good Neighbor . It means being there for each other. Thats why state farm is announcing the Good NeighborRelief Program we know our customers are driving less, which means fewer accidents. So state farm is returning 2 billion dollars to auto policyholders for the period ending may 31st. And well continue making real time decisions to best serve you our customers. Because now, more than ever, being a Good Neighbor means everything. Like a Good Neighbor, state farm is there. You may not be thinking about blood donation, but blood is needed to save the lives of people who are sick with a range of illnesses. Its easy and safe to give. If you are in good health, please donate. We need heroes now. Visit red cross blood dot org to schedule an appointment. Eveso we can stillg a answer your calls. Now. And we are monitoring our system 24 7 to ensure that we have a fast reliable network, keep the customers connected, and making sure people are staying safe. And were still on the road. Solving Critical Issues as they arise. Go to xfinity. Com prepare. Thank you. [ ] greg look who has come out of hiding just to help poor biden. Now that 28 other democrats dropped out of the race and there is just one left. Former president obama says joe is totally his guy. But its because joyce nice and trump is a big meany. The leadership guide by experience, honesty, through military, empathy and grace. That kind of leadership doesnt just belong in our state capitals and the Mayors Office it belongs in the white house. Greg liz warren endorsed joe. Some are thinking she could make a good running mate for him. Liz says if joe asked her she would say yes. I wonder how that conversation will go. Now joe biden face times liz warren. Hunter, that you . Hi, its liz warren. I thought you were look for a vp. I said pb and j. I circumand a half gate the high seas with magellan in 1507. An explorer. Maybe you can help me find my dentures. I left them in a sears bathroom. In law school i built the sears stowr with my bare hands. I used to play poker with a street cat named gus annen he went to college. I was roommates with harriet tugman. I teach competitive to blind alcoholic babies. I founded the first sat press corps for snapping turtles with adhd. Thats a lot of letters. I invented the alphabet. Thats real good, hunter. Greg that was pretty damn funny. Kat . What does kat look liz warren look better but i make joe biden look worse. Greg people forget that liz destroyed bloomberg over Sexual Harassment claims. And he would have been a better president than biden. But now biden is being accused of Sexual Assault and she is not saying anything. Kat its like she wants to be elected and will just say stuff. I think she would be an excellent vp. Joe is an old white guy, and a woman of color would add some diversity to the ticket and that would be excellent. I dont truly believe that anyone truly believe that what we need in this time of crisis is only if joe biden were in charge. You can have problems with the way trump handled things. You can have problems with the way a lot of people handled things. Because everybody got this wrong. I hate the narrative from the democrats that they were blowing the whistle on this. In february you were only talking about impeachment. Its a bunch of garbage. We need to focus on solving these things. The one thing joe biden could do to help us through this that trump cant. Hes used to not knowing what day it is. So he can help us through that, those of us who are still getting used to it for the first time. Greg the problem with joe is he doesnt mind anything he said. He will go along to get along. He will move far to the left. Hes just happy to be in the picture. Tom he should have rejected this endorsement. I dont need it now. I dont need obama. I can do it on my own. He pretended he asked him. He said i called obama and said dont endorse me, i want to do this on my own. I dont think barack obama is that excited about joe. Did you see the video . There was no yes we can. He tweeted lets go. Greg it was part of his complaining about trumps personality. Do you think in obamas heart he wanted to do that . Tyrus i can say as one brother to another, president obama i have been in that situation where i have been called to give a reference for a cousin or a brother that i know that isnt really that great of a person or qualified, and they are like hey, can you tell us a few things about him . Yeah. Honest, has integrity. Obama had a bunch of adjectives and kinds of left it there. He was doing the fourth reference. We have all been there. If you ever cosigned for a relative that you know i will end up making the car payment on. Its that kind of video, yeah im doing it because i have been asked to do it, but im not in it. Greg mike, enjoying that water. Are you going to drink all that gin and go to bed on that single bed behind you . Mike i agree with tyrus. It was no surprise that obama its also the weakest endorsement a former president has ever given. Its like you have got one person left standing waiting to be chosen for kick ball because everybody else has been taken and it was like, okay, i will take you. He didnt want to do it, but he had no choice. I do think that warren is not going to get the vp pick. But i applaud the dramatic presentation we all viewed just a short time ago. I thought tom and kat knocked it out of the park. Greg back with more after this. You know, new customers save over 1,000 on average when they bundle home and auto with progressive. Wow, thats. And now the progressive commercial halftime show, featuring smash mouth. Hey now, youre an all star get your game on, go play thank you goodnight [ cheers and applause ] now enjoy the second half of the commercial even renters can bundle and save where did that come from . The kitchen. It was halftime. [ ] ashley live from americas news headquarters. Im ashley strohmier. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo says the daily death toll dropped below 550 for the first time in two weeks. Cuomo said the hospitals are still reporting nearly 2,000 patients a day and the Nursing Homes remain a feeding freansy for the vi for the virus. See far the u. S. Has over 700,000 cases of covid19 and suffered 38,000 deaths. Mier. Now back to the the greg gutfeld show. Greg are we losing our minds from this lonely grind . Its the topic of this week. I never get tired of that one. A new study shows 44 of americans are lonelier than ever before thanks to the virus. Missing out on birthdays and graduations and lou dobbs hot tub parties. The virus help line are up 90 . The searches for what date is spiked on google. Its a great time to focus on the Little Things like how to stop my bird from being such a stupid jerk. That is the greatest bird i have ever seen. Tyrus, how are you holding up . Are you fielding lonely . You have got kids. Tyrus i am never alone, greg. Never alone. I dont know what thats like. And love it. I love being surrounded constantly. We are just happy in this small enclosed area together. Pay no attention to the cannibalism. We are all just happy. I wouldnt call that number thats times. But i feel bad for the people stuck at home alone. I feel for them. Greg i worry about the elderly. Seriously at home. And tom, you also have family at home. But people cant visit their grandparents. Thats brutal. It is trying for a lot of people. Especially when you have people in elder care. But they cant. A lot of people are going to have a depression after this is all over. Because there are a lot of people of you sight of on social media and people at home watching the news, keeping up with all the changes. Somehow this crisis is giving them meaning. But when it goes away, it will be like the oj trial. My mother didnt know what to do when the trial was over. She was just watching tv for the whole year. When this thing does go away and things go back to normal, there are a lot of people who dont want it to go back to normal because this gives them meaning. Its a crisis. People do come together in this thing. Greg if they are financially insecure they want it to go away. Buff maybe this does give meaning to people. But its a luxury if you have got to eat. Meaning doesnt put food on the table. Mike that right. Kudos to comparing the pandemic to the oj trial. I hadnt heard that one before. If you are on salary and getting your paycheck or if you are self isolated with your family so you are not sitting there all buy yourself maybe with your dog or cat for company and you dont have anybody affected by the virus, just shut the hell you have. Dont complain. We are not being asked to drop into a war zone and risk our lives. If you have got bills to pay, if you know somebody who passed away, you have got he reason to be concerned and probably upset. So i understand that increase on the phone calls. But we are going to get through this. Its going back to opening you have the government. We can take care of the most vulnerable. We are like a bunch of sheep in a pasture. I am surprised how we have gone along with it to some degree. But i understand all the concern. Now is the time to multitask. Lets start getting things Going Forward again. Greg the thing about not knowing the day. I believe no matter what happens, saturday always feels like saturday, and sunday feels like sunday. You cant go out on a friday and pretend its monday. Your brain is already hard wired for that thing. I tried to pretend that a difficult off is really a workday then i try to surprise myself because im sam weirdo, and it never works. Kat i just want top wholeheartedly disagree with what mike said. He said if everything is okay with your job you shouldnt complain. The memes, your grandparents were called to war and you are getting called to sit on the couch. And i do get it. I realize staying at home is not as bad as me having to fight in a war where i would certainly perish. But i dont think you have to have all this pressure to say positive all the time. Thats okay because society is collapsing. You have got to let yourself feel bad. Mike prr society is not collapsing. Kat the pressure is not good. Greg this is a fight between generations. Kat it sure is. Mike every day is like sunday. Greg especially in your little prison where you are waterboarding god knows who in there. I dont know whats going on in there. Im your mother in law. And i like to question your every move. Like this left turn. Its the next one. You always drive this slow . How did you make someone i love . That must be why youre always so late. I do not speed. And thats saving me cash with drivewise. My son, he did say that you were the safe option. And thats the nicest thing you ever said to me. So get allstate. Stop bossing. Where good drivers save 40 for avoiding mayhem, like me. This is my sons favorite color, you should try it. [mayhem] you always drive like an old lady . [tina] youre an old lady. In how they craft tatheir orange juice . The Corporate Executives of coke and pepsi, or the farmers of floridas natural . Only floridas natural is always made in florida by florida farmers. Great taste. Naturally. Look into my eyes you will see what you mean to me dont tell me its not worth trying for you know its true everything i do i do it for you [ ] greg shall we hold a wake for the handshake . If this selfisolation thing taught us anything, its that we dont need the things we thought we did like gym memberships, deowedeodorant, window shades. At least this an up side to sitting by the toilet, delta is boarding from the back of the plane. How about those spam phone calls. Complaints about spam callers dropped 58 . Either there are fewer spam calls or we dont mind them anymore. My neighbor dolores will talk to anyone. Hi. That was beautiful. Really beautiful. There is Something Like handshakes that im not going to miss. But what happens to the joy buzzer industry. There is an industry that will go away with a handshake. Mike you cant fool anyone with that joy buzzer anymore. But can we admit howie mandel was way ahead of the curve on this thing . He was against handshaking years ago. I am going to go even further than dr. Fauci. Im going to say dont greet anybody anymore, just walk right by them. I dont like people who hug me. I find that strange. But there are a lot of huggers out there, kat. You seem like you dont like hulling either. President trump no. Thats th. The on thing im goins is the general excuse. Oh i havent worn pants or showered in four days, but coronavirus. Normally i would have taken a shot at he killa but its different seems so i will have four. All thats left standing there is a dirty filthy processed food spilled alcoholic arguing with the cop, why cant i be in a 7eleven without pants on, hypothetically. Greg we can return to events but you cant return to normal. When you saw a lowflying plane after 9 11 it got you nervous. Now if somebody is coughing around you, how can you be in an elevator with somebody who is coughing. Tyrus i have given this a lot of thought. The remote is over there. Im working. You know whats gotten away . Privacy . Im working. Privacy and respect, greg. Gone. Working. I am work. Sorry. Greg mikey, a handshake is a way to get to know somebody like a strong handshake tells you everything. A weak handshake tells you something. You killed people with your handshake. Mike it levels the Playing Field now. You wont be able to tell is it a strong character [bleep]. This is a good thing. It unifies the nation in a way. I dont miss the handshake. I wont miss the handshake. I have got a 3 to 6foot personal space i like to maintain. This wont be a problem for me at all. Well take a state farm is announcing the Good NeighborRelief Program were returning 2 billion dollars to our auto policyholders through may 31st. Because now, more than ever, being a Good Neighbor means everything. Like a Good Neighbor, state farm is there. Twreg no virus can stop a leg drop. A few thing making their way back. Governor ron desantis declared wrestling an he accepting service. Starbucks announced plans to gradually reopen using a strategy they call monitor and adapt which oddly are the same names i gave my pets. But you know what will come back . Wet markets. According to the World Health Organization any wet markets that are allowed to reopen must conform to stringent standards. A scientific paper predicted that a virus from her shoe bats is a time bomb . Great job World Health Organization. Speaking of things that make no sense. I have no idea what that meant. Tyrus. Its good that Pro Wrestling is coming back. But what do you think . Tyrus number one, when you call something an essential business, i dont feel wrestling is necessarily up there with people on the front lines. Just like Main League Baseball is trying to come back. The neighbor, the nfl, all sports entertainment. If they can do it safely there is a lot less numbers of who is competing at one time. So they can control that. They will have to have quite a few tests. That testing argument i wont be go into. But its good for society to have something to watch. If it can be done safely, i am all for it. Greg katcat kat i need to get out of my house. He time i have a headache i think i have a virus. Or a king in my neck i think i have a virus. We need to get things to fill up our brain so we stop thinking about the virus. Kat the situation is different across the country so i think its great where things are starting to open, not just for those people, but if they are conducting business in one area of the country helps the country as a whole country. Gives us things to talk about. Im in new york city right by a hospital. So im in the heart of wuhan where i live. I dont think i will be able to leave my apartment anytime soon. But i hate seeing people writing things off. Concerns about the economy. The only people who write that off are people who are so rich and the elite of society that they never need to worry about it. Greg are you concerned the World Health Organization will claclamp down on the wet markets like they did after the sars outbreak . Mike im an expert on wet markets. I dont have much to say about wet markets. But you know what i do have a lot to say about. Is it too much . I dont know how that got there. Greg what net wok is that on . Mike its on the science channel thursday at 10 00 p. M. If people are looking for something to take their minds off the current pandemic. Watch the show. Kat so shameless i respect it. Dwreg tom, what are you excited to have come back. Tom i was in a coffee shop today. Everyone was behaving. They all had masks. Employees are behaving like emergency room doctors. We are in new york. Its like the epicenter. I think everyone is behaving well. And i think we can already get back to work. Greg new york is the epicenter making. Kat the epilady. Kat i dont get it. Greg well have to learn from greg well have to learn from the at tmobile, we know that connection is more important than ever. So were making big moves to help those who need it most. Introducing tmobile connect. A prepaid plan to help keep america connected. Starting at just 15 a month, it gives flexibility for uncertain times. Visit tmobile. Com connect to learn more. You can also manage your account, and make payments online. Stay connected with tmobile connect. Robinwithout the commission fees. So, you can start investing today wherever you are even hanging with your dog. So, what are you waiting for . Download now and get your first stock on us. Robinhood. We are out of time. Thank you, i love new america. Jesse welcome to watters world im jesse watters. Seeking the truth, thats the subject of tonights waters word. We need to know everything about the coronavirus to prevent pandemics in the future. We know it came from bats, and we know it came from china. But when, where and how exactly . The Chinese Communist government doesnt want you to know. Theyre hiding the truth and spinning tales about how great they handled it we wont swallow propaganda like some in the media were looking for the truth. Last week we discussed two scientific theories about the origins of the virus. Did it c