Yall hear about the big fight last night at the supermarket . Whoo boomboom belinda and j. J. Had it out something awful. Ooh what for . Over the dance saturday. Boomboom says shes tired of j. J. Dressing fancier than she does. So j. J. Said, [ imitating j. J. ] well, what can i say . When it comes to fashion, im a model from heaven. In the clothes you wear, youre a 747. Yeah, but im surprised that j. J. Broke up with boomboom belinda before the dance. Hey hey, maybe this is a chance for t. C. right on. Wait a minute, whats my helper got to do with j. J. . T. C. s hottotrot for j. J. I think its time for you to do your homework. Come on. Every time the good stuff comes around, i got to go study. Mmhmm. Dont worry about it. We can play gin at your house later. [ imitating mae west ] come over to my place, big boy. Well finish the gin, and after that, we can play cards. Penny [ laughing ] well, i guess i better get ready to fix this sink for yall. Oh, can you imagine that . A tub fixing a sink. Bookman, we told you about that leak three months ago. Yeah, but i didnt have the things i needed to fix it. Heres your helper now, hamburger. Thelma hi, t. C. Thelma. Is, uh, j. J. Here . No. Oh. Well, are yall going to the dance saturday night . Oh, yeah, were gonna go. Is j. J. Going . Well, t. C. , j. J. Just broke up really . Yeah. Oh. Thats too bad. Okay, t. C. , thats enough of that chitchatting. You want to chase after j. J. , do it on your own time. And another thing, young lady, you dont see me let my love life interfere with my work. How could nothing interfere with nothing . T. C. , get that sink fixed. Oh, by the way, miss woods, dont you have a shower for me to fix . No, no, no, no, no. That was five months ago. Who needs hot water, anyway . I know what you mean ive been taking cold showers ever since the day i got married. Mmhmm. Hey, t. C. , i thought j. J. Was gonna take you to the dance. Havent yall been going out for a month now . Yeah, michael, but its only on weeknights. We watch the hockey games, the basketball games, the wrestling match. I would like to be something more than just one of the guys. Whats wrong with me . You know, when it comes to women, theres something you must know about j. J. Oh, no. J. J. s gay . No. No, no, no. Thats not what i mean at all. Well, see, his taste in women. Well, how can i say this . You know, well, it runs to. Trash. Well, lets say flash. I mean what shes trying to say is, his girls have nicknames. He gives them all nicknames, like boomboom belinda. Myrna the burner. And nicki the quickie. Hey, everybody. Thelma hey, keith how you doing . See, baby, i told you id remember to pick up my suit. You were supposed to pick up my dress at the cleaners. J. J. s got your dress. Hell be up in a minute. He was just hustling the girl down at the cleaners for a date to the dance. J. J. Is gonna take a perfect stranger to the dance . But j. J. Wouldnt take no for an answer. When i left, she was pressing his shorts. [ chuckling ]. With him in them. J. J. , will you look at my dress . What are you doing . its got 50 creases in it willona, im lucky that im not creased. Running through the ghetto with a dress is not exactly easy. I had a wino wink at me, i had a construction worker whistle at me, and some guy asked me to go to a dance. Why didnt you go . Hey, t. C. , my main man. Whats happening, bro . Hi, j. J. J. J. , i heard you broke up with boomboom belinda last night. Uh, uh, its not gonna be easy to get another date for the dance. No big deal, thelma. All i got to do is pick up the phone, make one quick call, and with my reputation, j. J. , and when they do get a look at you, theyll break down the walls to get away from you. Oh, yeah . Im gonna make one girl real happy tonight. Yeah . Yeah what im gonna do is go get my little black book and let my fingers do the walking through the yellow pages of luv love t. C. , you better do something. What . Take the initiative ask him out for a date. Well, i dont know. Hey, look, this is the age of the liberated woman. I mean, i always enjoy it when a girl comes on to me. Before you were married, right . Yeah, yeah, a long time ago. Girl, you better hurry up before j. J. Calls some bimbo who is going to be the lucky girl . Ha ha ha. So, j. J. , this is your little black book, huh . Thats only from a to g, keith. I couldnt carry the rest of it out here. Let me look at this mess you got here. Yeah, i got it all indexed and everything, see . Got it according to height, weight, hair color, hairstyle, hair length. Even got a little extra star down there for experience. J. J. , did you go out with a girl whos 38 . Uh, thats not her age, keith. Heh heh heh thats her i. Q. Heh heh heh. Yeah, keith. I even got dates according to present dates, current dates, and future dates. Mmhmm. Future dates lola falana. Princess grace . I like a little challenge. Heh heh j. J. , do you think that, um. Uh. I wonder if you chello . Fifi . Yeah, this is j. J. Here. Yeah, kisskiss to you, too, lover. Look here. I know this is a little far in advance to be calling you, but theres a dance tomorrow night. You think you can make it . Oh, you got to babysit. You got to babysit for little Timmy Johnson . Oh, ok little Timmy Johnson . Wait a minute that dudes 22 years old j. J. , if you need a date for the dance, you dont have to call those girls. Theres a sexy lady right here in this living room who would love to go to the dance with you. Willona, dont you think youre a little too old for me . Want a slap across your nose . Uh, j. J. , i have something very important to ask you. But you go first. Oh, no, it can wait. Yyou go first. Well, you know, theres a big dance saturday night. Uhhuh. And weve been going out a little bit lately you know, going to the Football Game, basketball game over at hansons, right . Yeah, i have so much fun. I always have a good time when im with you, j. J. Yeah, yeah. We laugh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and we laugh. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha whaaaa remember that waitress who spilled a drink on you . Oh, you mean that overdeveloped, orangehaired hussy . Yes. [ laughs ] yeah, what was her name . Uh, they called her. Dotty dotty dizzy dotty dizzy dotty what a name [ both laugh ] [ laughing loudly ] hansons bar . Yeah. Dotty . Yeah, this is j. J. I was down there a week ago. You spilled a drink on us. Yeah. Oh, that wasnt my girlfriend. I am tired of being one of the guys i am a woman right on, t. C. And, t. C. , dont be ashamed to show it. J. J. s like every other man. If you want to cook his goose, you got to catch his eye. There aint no shame in shaking before baking. What do you mean . Honey, you got to be feminine. Theres a definite feminine walk, okay . Now watch. Now, that would turn the heads of most men. Yeah and a few rhinos. The girls that turn j. J. On walk like that . No, they walk like this. Baya gahgah dowdow bowbow bowbow bow dowdow see dee bee bop dowdow dae plop well, there are other ways, t. C. You see, a woman can say a lot of things with just her eyes. And her gestures. Watch. [ chuckles ] [ giggling ] i didnt know there was anything between us, miss woods. There always is your stomach. Ill see yall later. Hey, t. C. , where you going . [ disco music plays ] hey beg your pardon . Uh, i was just noticing that you happened to be an aquarius. Oh, you an aquarius, too . Are you kidding . [ chuckling ] whoohoohoohoo. Right there. Well, honey, you know, my moon is in the seventh house. I know what youre talking about. Weve been evicted a couple of times ourselves. Uh, are you into e. S. P. . Well, of course. Well, then, would you happen to see us spending the night together . Hmm. Well. I have a vision. Mmhmm . Its a moonlit night. Mmhmm. And you and i are alone. Mmm and you lean over. [ inhales sharply ] and you whisper. Oh, you whisper another one of your lines. And. And i. And i just smack you upside your head, chump [ clears throat ] yeah, my polo injury, my knee. [ chuckling ] hey, hey, string bean, you struck out, huh . Me, strike out . What gives you that impression . Well, if that phony smile of yours was any wider, your ears would be inside your mouth. I mean, look, brother, you cannot be phony. Girls are too hip for that. You got to be honest. Honesty is the key. I mean, you got to be like. Yourself. Yeah, honesty, huh . I guess youre right. Honesty is the best policy. J. J. Evans. Robert redford here. Listen, brother, let me tell you something. You want some women . I mean, just stick with me. I have not slept alone in years. Yeah, neither have i, thanks to michael. Matter of fact, the last time i slept alone, i was in this incubator, making eyes at me. [ laughing ] you see, i got this big, big problem with women. I just cannot seem to get rid of them. Oh, yeah . If youre doing so good with women, what are you doing in a spot like this alone . You see, i just havent seen what i wanted yet, you know . Ooh, until now. Hey, that is one hunk of woman there. You know, i feel like i already know her. Yeah, me too. Oh, no. No, no, no, brother. That fox is gonna be displayed hey, sugar, sugar. Where have you been hiding yourself . I didnt know i was hiding. Well, not that much. T. C. , i hardly recognize you. Well. If it isnt little j. J. Evans. Say, uh, you know this dude here . Only by reputation. Hes supposed to be a real ladykiller. [ chuckling ] him . Well, you know, what can i say . Well, you could say arrivederci, toothpick. Wait a minute here. Hold on. T. C. , how about me and you going down and skipping this place and have a little hamburger . [ laughing ] can you dig this . The great lover here wants to have a hamburger. And i suppose billy dee is gonna want a chocolate shake, too . Yeah, with two straws. [ laughter ] he probably has to be home at 10 00. J. J. , listen, i have a better idea. I happen to know that there wont be anyone home at your place tonight, so why dont we just go back there and have dessert. If you know what i mean. Uh. [ chuckling nervously ] yes, i do know what you mean. That would be very, very nice. Oh, uh, just an average night for the kid. Close your mouth there, brother. Youre gonna let the flies in. Well. Were finally alone. J. J. , why dont you fix me a. Little something . Why . Is a Little Something broken . A drink. Oh, a drink. Yeah, a drink. Some koolaid, some root beer, some ginger ale, some ferret branca . Forget it, j. J. Lets not waste any more time. Uh. [ voice cracking ] uh, t. C. , are you sure you want to be here . It was my idea, wasnt it . Yeah. Uh. [ clears throat ] couldnt we, uh, turn on the radio and get the final sports scores . The only scoring im interested in uh. T. C. , you know, you really surprise me. I always thought of you as just one of the guys. Well, do i still seem like. One of the guys . Not any of the guys that i know. You know, t. C. This is really surprising. I mean, you think you know a guy i mean, a woman a ms. you go to the Football Game with them, you go to the basketball game with them, and then all of a sudden well, you know, i never dreamed. I never dreamed you were this type of girl. J. J. [ chuckles ] youre so nervous. [ voice cracking ] are you kidding . Its just that i was expecting a changeup and i got a vida blue fastball. But, uh, i cant wait to see your curve. [ laughs ] j. J. , youre so funny. And so cute. Well, uh, let me go, uh, take off my jacket here and get ready for the real action. Yeah. Ahh where exactly, uh. Were we . Now. Ohh, j. J. J. J. , please. J. J. J. J. , stop. T. C. , whats wrong . Look, j. J. , i got to level with you. This isnt me. The hair isnt me. The dress isnt me. Well, then, who are you . Dont you see, j. J. . Its an act. I did this because i really like you, and i wanted to attract your attention. Youre too nice a guy, j. J. , and i feel guilty about fooling you. Would you mind fooling me just a little while longer . Is that what you really want, j. J. . Uh, no, hold on, t. C. Im not sure what i really want. At least from you. But i think we should take the time to find out. How much time, j. J. . Well, as much time as we need. And we can start tomorrow by going to the dance, if you want to. Id love to. That is, if youre sure i wont spoil your reputation. Theres really not that much reputation to spoil. You mean, what they say on the ladies room wall isnt true . Captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com keeping your head above water