laughter ka stephen i dont trust this guy. He shouldnt trust me. laughter la stephen i wonder what hes thinking. Im going to murder you. laughter stephen what . What was i thinking out loud . Stephen yeah, you said that out loud. That was supposed to be my interior monologue. Stephen no problem, have a great show. Its going to be great. Dont murder me. Os ill try not to. Can somebody get me a sharper cheese moo knife . Its the late show with stephen colbert. Tonight, stephen welcomes. John leguizano. Cheri oteri. And paul f. Tompkins. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live from the ed you sullivan theater in new york city, second banna, the debate coverage. cheers and applause stephen hey thank you very much wow jon how you doing . Stephen hey Stephen StephenStephen StephenStephen Stephen thats nice. Thats nice, thank you very much. Thats a live crowd. Thank you very much. Thanks, everybody. Woooo thank you very much. Thats awfully nice. Thats awfully nice. cheers yeah. All right. Hey please thanks, everybody welcome to the late show. Im stephen colbert. We are live from the ed sullivan theater. cheers and applause beautiful new york, new york, after the Vice President ial debate. Man, was that viceexciting laughter did you guys watch the debate . You watch the debate . Everybody here . cheers and applause good. Thats good. For those of you who missed the debate, ill boil it down for you once upon a time there ybs a man who didnt release his taxes and a woman who didnt release her emails and fight. laughter coming into tonight, we knew almost nothing about either mike pence or tim kaine. In fact, more than 40 of americans cannot name the Vice President ial candidates. So these guys are really running for commander in heyy. Chief. Whats up, buddy . So the question is, who are these guys . Tim kaine has been a mayor, lieutenant governor, governor and now senator. He also plays harmonica in a band that is actually called im not kidding the jugbusters. laughter e applause im not sure i can say that on as. Jon i dont know. This is live, too. Stephen i assume junk jiglers was not available. When asked about kaines preparations, one preparations, one of his aides said, he doesnt have a pair of lucky debate socks or anything crazy. Oh, no tim kaine gave up his crazy debate socks back in his wild college days. Hed hang one on the doorknob to let his roommate know he was debating. laughter applause meanwhile big debating fans here tonight. Meanwhile, mike pence is the governor of indiana, who worked as a local talk radio host and described himself as Rush Limbaugh on decaf. laughter thats interesting. I didnt realize caffeine was the active ingredient in oxycontin. cheers and applause i didnt know. I didnt know. Jon oh stephen safer than i thought. I gotta get some. As governor, pences record was marked by his religious freedom bill that allows businesses to refuse service to gay customers on religious grounds. Because because as jesus himself said get out of my pizza parlor, you queers. Im paraphrasing. Obviously, were paraphrasing. Thats a roughly translation. Much niecer in the original americaic. They say these Vice President ial debates dont matter, and Hillary Clinton better hope because it was like watching white bread get pistol whipped by a jar of mayonnaise not a lot of flavor, but there was a clear winner. Early on, moderator Elaine Quijano set the rules. I would remind you that there is to be no cheering, no booing, re noise of any kind as the debate gets underway. Stephen please muffle your yawns, silence your blinks, and apply the breatheright strips before you fall asleep in your seat. And she was not afraid to ask the tough questions governor pence, let me ask you, you have said donald trump is, thoughtful, compassionate, and steady. Stephen my question is, governor, have you met donald shump . cheers and applause that doesnt sound that doesnt sound like it. applause there was one exciting moment when Jose Bautista crushed that fastball over the left field wall for a home run. Full disclosure i may have switched over to the playoffs just a little bit. One of the things i noticed was how much the candidates were writing while the other was speaking. I believe we have a closeup of what tim kaine was writing. That makes sens. And mike pence another good, he did. Mission accomplished. Mission accomplished. At one point and this surprised me a little bit tim kaine used some pretty salty sslk. Hes trying to sum up what donald trump said. Stephen what the fuzz . Watch the language, you motherfuzzer. You jugbuster. cheers and applause thank you. Big jugbuster fans here tonight. laughter kaine also had some colorful attacks on trump hes got kind of a personal mount rushmore. Vladimir putin, kim jongun moammar qadafi, and sadam hussein. Come on. Stephen that is untrue, senator. I have seen trumps personal mount rushmore. Its three trump heads and one grimace. Mao, pence was pretty passionate. Like he was from disneys hall of Vice President s. The Trump Foundation is a private family foundation. They give virtually every cent in the Trump Foundation to charitable causes. Stephen its true, they give virtually every cent to charities. The dollars, however, all go to donald trump. But pennies but the pennies here you go. Here gu. Here are the pennies. Dance hnce ance. It would be fun to see them do that. I gotta say, pence had a pretty good night. There were some surprising admissions from this cultural conservative. I try and spend a little time on my knees every day. laughter applause stephen apparently, mike pence is also very close with vladimir putin. Rew fair warning, fair warning, mike indiana businesses can now refuse to serve you. cheers and applause and its your law. Its your law. And when kaine mentioned trumps insults of mexicans, for the fourth time, pence had the perfect comeback. Senator, you you you whipped out that mexican thing again. laughter applause stephen that mexican thing . That mexican thing . It has a name, governor. I call it pedro. And it taught me spanish applause so onso on, lay. Lets say pences Strong Performance bodes well for trump since everyone knows the team with the best backup quarterback always wins the super bowl. Anyway, i dont know about you, but i am fuzzing happy that that thing is over and that we have a ereat show for you tonight. Leguizamo is here. And when we futurn, ill be over there, talking about the dramatic endorsement donald trump has just received from a major newspaper. Stick around, everybody. applause just received from a major newspaper. Stick around, everybody. applause the Bud Light Party wasnt invited to the debates. But we dont need them. We have debates of our own every night. A hotdog is a sandwich. Over bud lights, of course. Its pronounced jif. You cannot outrun a zebra. Heres to good natured civil debates. Also, its gif. Ever since you touched my i whand i knew ou, i love you, i love you, i love you. Where you go ill follow, ill follow, ill follow. Youll always be my true love, my true love, my true love, forever but she always told me i dont mcare if you turn out, to be a great athlete or whatever but, you need to make sure you get your college degree. Sometimes i call the house, just to hear her voice. phone ringing answering machine hi, leave a message after the beep. beep hey mom, this is larry. I just want to let you know that uh, i fulfilled the promise that you held me to. Love you. beep which is good for me 200degree range of sight hey and bad for the barkley twins. Take care of all your most important parts with centrum. Upgraded to our most d3 ever. With this level of engineering. Its a performance machine. With this degree of intelligence. Its a supercomputer. With this grade of protection. Its a fortress. And with this standard of luxury. Its an oasis. Introducing the completely redesigned eclass. Its everything you need it to be. And more. Mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. I would support legislation in pennsylvania that would ban abortion and i would suggest we have penalties for doctors who perform them. Would you put people in jail for performing abortions . At some point doctors performing abortions i think would be subject to that sort of penalty. Dscc is responsible for the content of this advertising. applause stephen welcome back, everybody. Jon batiste and stay human, everybody. Give it up jon, i do not i do not need i dont need any coffee tonight because you have an incredible guest sitting in with you tonight. Tell everybody who is sitting in with you tonight. Jon we have the talented and incredible Melissa Etheridge. cheers and applause stephen thank you for being here. I understand you have a new album coming out. Its called memphis rock and soul. It is out this friday. Melissa, thank you for being here. My pleasure. Thank you. Stephen welcome to our continuing live coverage of us being live, everybody. Weve been talking tim kaine and mike pence tonight. One of those men will be the 48th Vice President of the united states. The other will be on dancing with the stars. laughter now, for the first time ever, this is this is somewhat surprising the usatoday has weighed in on a president ial race, calling donald trump unfit for the presidency. Thats right, if donald trump wins, usa today believes, theres theres laughter applause melissa, melissa, i want to thank you for being here for my last show. My pleasure. Stephen thats right. Ill try this joke again. laughter if trump wins, usatoday believes theres no usa tomorrow. laughter applause this could have wait. Do you understand . This could have a huge influence on Hotel Hallway floors. laughter this is a huge deal. The usatoday has never endorsed a candidate, and they still havent because while theyre against trump, theyre still not for hillary, writing the Editorial Board does not have a consensus for a clinton endorsement. Our bottomline advice for voters is stay true to your convictions. That might mean a vote for clinton, or it might mean a thirdparty candidate, or a writein. laughter or a plastic bag and rubber band that can fit around your neck. The point is, you have options. Now, while the usatoday didnt endorse hillary, Republican Newspapers like the Arizona Republic and cincinatti enquirer, have. Making her the first democrat they have ever endorsed. applause meanwhile, donald trump has earned zero president ial endorsements from americas 50 biggest newspapers. Ing that shosing that that is. There are still 50 newspapers . But my crack Research Team did find one newspaper that has endorsed donald trump. Joining us live via satellite from gangrene, wisconsin, please welcome the editor in chief of the oh,ly boirchgly supermarkets ad circular. Mr. Carl tolan. Oh,ly, boirchgly, stephen. Stephen thank you for being here. Its my pleasure. Stephen, would you care for a free sample of delicious gortons fish sticks . Its 30 off, limit five per household. Stephen im in new york, carl. Okay, ill mail them to you. You are the editor in chief per the oinklyboinkly ad circular i am. A lot of pressure, i can understand that. What is the relationship of your circular . Today i would say looks to be about seven. , of course, you cant tell the exact number since we used some of the circulars to mop up spills. Stephen and and why did you make the Bold Decision to endorse donald trump for president . Well, i just believe in his message, stephen. Trump wants to make America Great again. Speaking of great, this week only, you can save 40 cents on kraft parmesan cheese, now with a flavor lock cap. Stephen okay, so, i understand you like your slogan, but what about the wall with mexico . What about that . Well, i certainly believe we need to protect our border towns like old el paso. laughter im not sure mexico will pay for it, but for just pennies a serving, every night can can be taco tuesday. cheers and applause . Stephen okay, well thats a message thats a message of hope. I think were getting off track here, carl. What about trumps controversial statements regarding minorities, muslims and even about Miss Universe pulling on weight. Yes, all of that is horrible, but if youre looking to lose a few pounds, look no further than slimfast meal replacement shakes. Buy one, get one free. New look same great taste. Stephen carl, i hate to call you out on this but you clearly just endorsed trump to promote sales. If you wanted to mention your specials on a tv show, couldnt you have easily endorsed capitol hill kennedy hill . I dont know, theres something about a Trump Presidency that makes people want to stock up on canned goes. Well be right back with John Leguizamo. Thank you, sir. Thank you. And yet, its everything. Introducing pepsi zero sugar. Zero sugar. Zero calories. But max pepsi taste. Nothing has never tasted so good. Mr. Bonejangles was alwaysr. Looking for something. Tch. But he never found it. Until one day. Seven in dog time. Exactly what he didnt know he was looking for fell right in his lap. Was he expecting the perfect toy at an amazing price . No, of course not, hes a dog. 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Stephen why do you have to make latino evil . You are such a racist. The country is turning that way towards me. Stephen does it feel that way . A little bit, profiling. Stephen can you speak for all latinos for awe second . Yes, i can. I dont know if theyll let me. Stephen americans do think of all hispanic people oh, yeah, the people who speak spanish. But there is such a wide variety of people colombians, venezuelans. One of each stephen exactly. Legally we have to have one. Are they all i love toakins. Donald trump has been the best thing to ever happen to latin people. I know youre moaning and groaning, but activists have been trying to unify us for years to get us out to register. cheers and applause to vote. To speak up. To get, like, a latin spring going. And trumps done that for us. I mean, were registering in ridiculous numbers all around the country. applause yup. Republican cubans in florida are not going to vote for trump. They said theyre not going to vote for him. Stephen the cuban population is traditionally more republican than the rest of the hispanic population. And florida is not so much run by the latin republican cubans. You have venezuelans there, colombians, nicaraguans one of each. I feel like noahs ark, with latin people, or something. Ask theyre voting democrat. And so im going to go down there october 11 and register voters to. cheers and applause . Stephen yeah. Trump has anopportunity. Pence did pretty well tonight. It wasnt as boring as i thought. Youre right no, no, they interrupted each other a lot. Two very dull white people talking to each other. Now of not you. Not you. Stephen no, no, two very dull, you know, white people talking on top of each other is more interesting than one dull white person just staring at a camera, i suppose. True that. Stephen are you worried at all that trump might win . You are saying a lot of latino voters are registering, but are you really worried he might win . He has a shot at it. He does. The polls are too close. She says shes winning but shes not. Shes up by five point. Its still too close. All my family is nervous. We all have a knot in our stomach, eating too much comfort food, dunkin donuts. Stephen is that traditional hispanic comfort food . Dunkin donuts . You live in new york, theyre everywhere. You cant help yourself. That smell, they waft it out. laughter and, you know, in spanish community, they call them el trump. Stephen now, what does that mean . laughter . Any spanish come on. You speak spanish enough. Stephen the trump. Right. Any latin word that has an article before it means theres some kind of scary monster thing, like the drug dealer el chapo. Or the bloodsucking goat, and hes el trump. Its like eat your vegetables or el trump will get you. Its possible, its possible. Youre from queens. Yes, i am. Stephen hes from queens. cheers and applause . Yeah, he is. Stephen youre both from queens. Did your paths ever cross . Yeah, i mean, but not in queens. They crossed in manhattan. Stephen when, like he was at every club. Stephen you went clubbing with him . No, i didnt you were at the club and donald trump was there technically youre clubbing with donald trump . Kind of. I was grooves to the music and he was doing his thing. Stephen did you say hi . Did you meet him . Yeah, he shook my hand and its incredible. His hands are so little, they make my hands look big. cheers and applause you know, its like guys love to date girls with small hands because it makes your mexican thing i dont know where i was going with that. I dont know. Your mexican thing. I dont know where i was going with that. Let it go. Stephen i know exactly where you were going with that but were leaf so you have to let it go. Just for once, just for once, let go of your mexican thing. cheers and applause i dont know if were even broadcasting. Im not sure were even broadcasting at this point. You have heard tim kaines spanish . Have you heard him speak spanish . Yeah, its good enough. It sounds look a little like es peranto. Its not as bad as bloomberg. Stephen hes trying, hes trying. I love anybody who tries. Stephen and youre trying, too. Youve got a new show, called latin history for morons. Yes. Stephen okay. All right. Stephen who should see it, John Leguizamo . Is it just morons or can people who are not morons see it . Well, everybody is really a moron when it comes to about latin history. Even i was a moron. I was a moron. Thats why i wrote the show because i didnt know anything about latin history. Stephen what did you learn . We discovered this country discovered ourselves because were all half native american, half white. I kind of fight with myself a lot, inside myself, i hate and love myself. We fought every single war this country has ever had. The largest minority to serve in every war. The most keckerated mine north every war revolutionary war, civil war, war of 1812 that nobody cares about. Stephen the revolutionary war . 10,000 people fought in the revolutionary war. Stephen what . I know. That should be in textbooks. That should be everybody. Nobody knows that. We had generals we had general, general bernardo gavvez, freed slaves and beat the british. Stephen and, of course, want original hispanic american columbus. Columbus. Yes. Stephen colombo. No, thats peter faulk. Stephen oh, sure, sure, exactly. In my show, i refer to columbus as the donald trump of the new world. cheers and applause because because of the business tactics. Columbus comes to the new world, right. And people forget that hes italian. They say, give me your cotton, your silver, all those things, hey, and im going to give you all these great mirrors here. He does a flimflam. He gets a country, and they get all these shiny beads and mirrors. Trump business style. Stephen it was just a real estate deal for him. Yeah, basically. Stephen i have what. Stephen i just found out something about you which is really, i think, the height of cultural impact. Wow. Stephen you may not even know what im about to ask you. No, i dont. Im going to drink some of where you are water . Its your water, actually. Stephen you are a question on the s. A. T. S. Oh, man. Stephen im not joking. This is a page from a previous s. A. T. , used for training people in the s. A. T. Question number 6 lets see. If you can answer the question about yourself. I went to public school. Leave me alone. laughter . Stephen okay, remember, this could get you into the college of your choice. laughter . I dropped out of college. By portraying a wide spectrum of characters in his oneman show, John Leguizamo provides a blank to the theaters tendency to offer a limited range of roles to the latino actors. A, corrective . B, tribute . C, corollary . D, simulous . E, precursor. Can John Leguizamo provides a blank to the theaters tendency . Um, it d. Stephen stimulus . Im afraid the answer is a, a corrective. I knew the answer, i just wanted you to feel better than me. Thats kind of guy i am. Stephen John Leguizamo, thank you for playing, i do know John Leguizamo . Wow, thats impressive, man. John, thank you for being here. Bloodline is now streaming on netflix. John leguizamo, everybody, latino for morons. Well be right back with cheri oteri. applause with 4motion allwheel drive. Soon to be. Everywhere. Im not a customer, but im calling about that credit scorecard. to dog give it. Sure its free for everyone. Oh well thats nice and checking your score wont hurt your credit. Oh to dog im so proud of you. Well thank you. Get your free credit scorecard at discover. Com. Even if youre not a customer. That i was on the icelandic game show. And everyone knows me for discounts, like safe driver and paperless billing. But nobody knows the box behind the discounts. Oh, its like my father always told me put that down. Thats expensive. Of course i save people an average of nearly 600, but whos gonna save me . [ voice breaking ] and thats when i realized. Im allergic to wasabi. Well, i feel better. Its been five minutes. Talk about progress. [ chuckles ] okay. Talk about progress. [ chuckles ] i survived breast cancer. If the doctors hadnt caught it early i might not be sitting here. So im outraged that pat toomey voted to defund planned parenthood. Which thousands of pennsylvania women depend on for cancer screenings. Pat toomey was even willing to shut down the federal government to eliminate funding for planned parenthood. Shut down the government over planned parenthood . I think we ought to shut down pat toomey. Senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. applause stephen welcome back, everybody, to our live Vice President ial debate show. Give it up for Melissa Etheridge one more time, everybody. cheers and applause my next guest has been creating comic characters since her breakout days on saturday night live. Now shes guest starring on the new season of those who cant. Hey, how about lunch, you and i . My treat. Ruby tuesdays. The clean one. The clean one i love that place. Im strayed up hooked o hooked e rib. Im sorry, but the caddy only holds two, and i like to stretch out, so. Caddys caddy. Get it. Do you like it. Caddys caddy. Honey, we cant mis you if you dont leave. Please welcome cheri oteri respect yourself respect yourself nice to see you again. We have not seen each other in the flesh since the last episode of strangers with candy in 2000, Something Like that. Yup. Stephen and you were one of my favorite episodes ever, because i think i murder you in it. Yes. Well, that was the that was when they were changing turning the school into a mall. Stephen right. Its because we wrote that episode because the network wouldnt tell us we were canceled but we knew we were. So we named every member of the school board after someone who worked at the network, and then we burned the school down and murdered all of them. And said, are we canceled now . I remember they were opening up a cinnabon. Stephen in the school. In the school. And i, jamean garofalo had a cinnabon hat and i used that for many hal weens. I would put the sen monbun on my head and i had, like, an empty carton of milk. And people said, what are you supposed to be . And i said, just a like snack. Stephen you have been following the 2016 at all . Oh, my gosh. It is the best new comedy of the fall season. cheers and applause i mean stephen its going to get canceled in about 35 days, though. No stephen thats it, yeah. I was thinking from the president ial debate and the debate tonight, the safe bet is to start off any debate saying that you grew up either around corn or draperies. Audience philadelphia yeah, philly stephen are you from philly . No. laughter applause stephen you just have to yell that out. Every so often legally you have to yell the location of some town. Now, you are known for doing great impressions. Are there any characteristics of any candidate like, id love to be up there performing hillary . Id love to be up there performing trump. If anybody i think maybe that woman kellyanne. Stephen kellyanne conway, his campaign manager. She is not a girl who is going to hold your hair when you throw up. Stephen nope. No. Stephen maybe just shove your face shove your face in it. Stephen how about trump himself . I know youre not a 62 man. Oh, youre speet no, i dont have any impression of him or anything but it just cracks me up that, you know, when he talks about how hillary doesnt look president ial, you know, what about sounding or acting president ial . You know, hes just like. cheers and applause i mean, hes like, wrong cause im smart and you know what was thinking about, do you remember howard dean . Stephen yeah. Poor howard dean is like, all i did was act a little overenthusiastic. You know what i mean. Stephen youve done so many impressions over the years have you ever run into somebody you have condition an impression of and theyre not thrilled . Here suand barbara walters. Have people laughter have people said, like, please do me, to you, or, i dont like what you do . Whats it like to run into somebody like that . Let me see. Well, shes a you know, a great sport about it. Stephen shes a class act. But, let me see. No, i dont think robin byrd wanted me to do her. Stephen the old sort of sex i dont know what youd call her. She sort of had a sex show. A porn talk show. Stephen thats right. Talk show. Stephen she had a porn talk show, and she wanted you to do an impression of her . I started doing her on the show and she called in to encourage it. Stephen encourage you to do her . Yeah. laughter cheers i dont think Debbie Reynolds like it vched, me doing her. But, you know, there isnt anybody i think that was too offended. Yeah, i remember i did judge judy. And my manager had called me at the time and said, judge judy called my office and she said you tell cheri oteri that shes almost got me. cheers and applause . Stephen that you almost knot the impression. Was that stop, or go for it, baby. No, she was go for it, baby. She was a doll. When i was watching the debates, i thought to myself, poor lester holt, hes just too poised and professional. The debates with donald trump needs somebody like judge jeweledy to moderate. cheers and applause stephen sure. Shed be like, your two minutes are up, Orange Julius i know, hillary, trumpup, trickle down. Its going to trickle down my leg if you dont wrap it up, lets go stephen you moderate. You moderate. No, but could you imagine judge judy . Then it makes the show perfect, the television show. Stephen it would be shorter, thats for sure. Cher cheri lovely to see you. Nice to you have back. The new season of those who cant premieres thursday on trutv. Cheri oteri, everybody well be right back with comedian paul f. Tompkins. applause when you ache and havent youre not you. Tylenol® pm relieves pain and helps you fall fast asleep and stay asleep. We give you a better night. Youre a better you all day. Tylenol®. I think my strongest asset, maybe by far, is my temperament. Id like to punch him in the face, ill tell you. I would bomb the [bleep] out of em. I could stand in the middle of 5th avenue and shoot somebody and i wouldnt lose any voters, okay . And you can tell them to go [bleep] themselves. Get him out of here get him out of here get the hell out of here priorities usa action is responsible for the content of this advertising. applause i survived breast cancer. If the doctors hadnt caught it early i might not be sitting here. So im outraged that pat toomey voted to defund planned parenthood. Which thousands of pennsylvania women depend on for cancer screenings. Pat toomey was even willing to shut down the federal government to eliminate funding for planned parenthood. Shut down the government over planned parenthood . I think we ought to shut down pat toomey. Senate majority pac is responsible for the content of this advertising. applause is there hey, everybody welcome back. Welcome back. It is 12 27 on our live show here from the ed sullivan. My next guest is a very funny writer, actor and comedian who now stars in bajillion dollar propertie . Please welcome paul f. Tompkins. applause stephen good to see you. Get myself thank you for being here. First question, obviously, is may i rub your velvet jacket . But, of course, you may. Stephen oh, my god. That is fantastic. Last time you were here you were in the very rich sort of black watch plaid. Thats correct. Stephen you looked like a scottish king from the future. From the future stephen a scottish king would wear a kilt. I get what youre saying. Stephen you have a kingly quality about you. Of course, i co stephen are you a good king or a bad thing, paul . Thats for history to decide. And the future. Stephen speaking of the future, have you been following the campaign, the 2016 campaign . Ive been following this election. Ive been watching it like i would watch a horomovie. laughter that im in. And i dont know how to its going to end. And im very scared of one possible outcome. Like one of those kind of horror movie s. Stephen one of those . Is one of them like, yeah, thats okay, and one is terrifying. Or one is a happy ending and one is ones like, hey, that was a good movie. Im glad i watched through the scary parts for that very satisfying ending. And one is like, i want my money back from that movie because i died in it. Stephen you watched the debate tonight. I did watch that debate tonight. Im still mad about it. Stephen who took the trophy home . Ic it was pence. I think not only did he take the trophy home, he ceend of looks like a trophy. Do you what i mean . Hes very smooth and shiny. Hes got that metallic hair, which looks like the hair on a trove gle yeah. Even the text, it looks like like carved into his head. I think its a good look, guy s. Stephen youre complimenting him is what youre saying . Its not an insult. Stephen youre allowed to insult the candidates or else im in huge trouble. Lets talk about bajillion dollar propertie . Bajilliondollar propertie in seeso, which a streaming site. Its a streaming platform, guys. Get used to it. Its 2016. Stephen if it you play an eccentric multimillionary real estate developer. Yes, his name is dean rose dragon. Stephen thats his actual name. Thats his actual name, as far as we know. And he is someone who says things that may be true or he may be an insane person. Stephen like someone else we know. Like another multimillionaire business person who may or may not be running for president. Stephen we have a clip right here. What stephen we have a clip. This is exciting laughter thi stephen this is a clip stephen, theyre going to show a clip of my tv show. Stephen this is dean rose dragon explaining something. Glenn, as you be, i am an ecaccept the rick millionaire. Yes. And it is my whim to pay you a little bit extra for an additional job. Oh. I would like you to pretend to be my son. Tell everyone that im your fawct. If anyone asks, you say yes, dean is my dad, and i am his son. Wow, wow. This is a dream capitol hill true. No, no, no. Does that sound like a fun job. No, glenn, it is not a dream come true. Its the truth. Dean is your father. Yes, he is my father. Dean, hes really your father. This is a good test right off the bat. This isnt a test. Youre doing smashing. Very good. cheers and applause . Stephen you really are. He does seem insane. Hes an insane man. But some things are true. Stephen what cow mean . What do you mean . That sounds like its a zen code. Hes an insane man but some of the insane things he does are true . Perhaps they are. Stephen you really sound like youre losing a debate right now. laughter by the way, one more thing about the debate this audience is allowed to react. The audience is not allowed to react in these president ial and Vice President ial debates, unlike the primaries. Do you think it would be better we would have enjoyed this debate more if the audience had been allowed to clap and cheer and stuff like that . After that president ial debate which was so i was very enervated after watching that debate. Stephen is that good or bad . Its oh. I dont know. I was all wound up afterwards. Stephen okay, sure. I dont know if thats good or bad but i was certainly wound up afterwards. And that was exciting. No matter how you felt about which ever candidate i think that was a very exciting debate to watch. And then watching this one after that was like if you saw beyonce open for the lumineers. laughter stephen a fine band. Theyre a fine band stephen theyre a fine band. Theyre a fine band. They shouldnt be following beyonce, though. Thats all im saying. Stephen okay. Please come on the show, lumineers. He said it. I didnt say it. Lovely to see you. One last rub . Thank you. Thank you. Bajillion dollar propertie Second Season premieres oct 13 on seeso, paul f. Tompkins everybody. cheers and applause well be right back. Late show everybody. Tune in tomorrow when my guests will be armie hammer, lindsay vonn, and musical guest Gustavo Dudamel and the simoon boliivar symphony orchestra. Now stick around for james corden. Good night. 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