, everything will be fine with us, you yourself called me faith, whoever wants to believe too much will be deceived even by his heart, you didnt play too hard, maybe you should have acted theatrically, but quietly , said b, ver, i just want to understand, no, you just want me to start it in something suspect he wanted to kill me, his own. Premiere night, today on rtr. Rtr planet is more than just television. This is a piece of russia on every screen on the planet. Lets fly the most highprofile premieres, how did i get here, this is a corporate event, or what . Who are you , and you dont know bender well , you dont need a motive for a murder on a trick, that it was on the strip, i dont know, its a dog in my opinion, exciting series, were putting together an orchestra, well perform shostakovichs seventh symphony, who doesnt take risks . Luck itself is not smiling, we will succeed, i will operate, i its scary, as if im not me, unfortunately, there is no motive for the murder, no connection between the murders, but it exists, and we will find it, i remind you once again that this is my investigation, lets agree in advance, you are the coach , im a player, a dizzying show and the best music, and you generally spend most of your life on your feet or on your head, i dont even know, i want to read. Please read, i cant read, turn on the music, blogger, hope, russia rests on song, in general russia is a very melodious country, inimitable humor and entertainment for everyone taste, i poured a basin of hot water over myself , i said, im leaving, i looked around, she had already packed my things, peekaboo, meeting the stars, what . The flag of the Russian Federation is already rising over the norwegian sea. This was one of the most striking episodes of historical triumph. Our soviet people brought liberation to the peoples of europe. Breaking news, political investigations and impartial analysis. Live program 60 minutes. The news goes on air. Hello. Key events that will make this day memorable. When all the world calls black white, we choose the truth. Vladimir putin sits in this chair and, as we remember, enters the hall through these doors. Everything you cant imagine russia without is only on the rtr planet channel. Hello, hello, hello Heinrich Heine once reasoned there is humor in ideas when there is a combination of thoughts that have never met each other before. This is a civil marriage between jokes and wisdom. Nowadays, a new type of humor has appeared, stool, attributes, flat, oak, roughhewn, cheap, no higher than the waist, she appreciates his humor. I fell in love, but he never joked. Medicine says smiling is pleasant, it is physically pleasant, laughing is even more pleasant, and laughing is just pleasure, give it to yourself so you can go to the pharmacy less. You know, it was at the pharmacy today that i realized that i was getting old, noticing that there were practically no medications left with names unfamiliar to me. Strength. Ah, if they say correctly that time heals, then why isnt it sold in pharmacies . By the way, prices for sedatives at the pharmacy its just infuriating, its just infuriating, the prices for sedatives, i cant calm down enough to buy them, finally calm down. So ivan arnolovich, yes, yes, come on, put on your overalls, okay, ivan and come on, come on, come on, in general, lets start the working day, this is our baruch fat, so, please give it to me, this evening sell it all , thats how ill sell it, nikolai igorevich , weve had it for a year now, i dont know anything, its expired, so give me this whole bunch, badger, somewhere. Where should you rub it in . Nowhere, but to whom . He useful from everything. Only, if anything happens, like last time, i wont take the rap for you. What happened last time . Well, last time you forced me to sell expired bonfire oil. So what . So, nothing. From Consumer Protection services. Arrived, and in order to cover my tracks, i had to drink all this oil, and this is when you took six months at your own expense and then i couldnt go to work, what does it mean to go out, i was afraid to walk at all, i mostly sat or ran, in short, im for you took the rap. In the full sense of the word he was puffing, its okay, ill write you a bonus , but youll wait for it, lets write him off and let him lie in the warehouse, he cant lie in the warehouse, he already smells, last time they said the same thing about medical alcohol, smell, smell, but the Security Guard was fired and the smell disappeared, what did you make of it that it was expired . Yes, because i bought it already expired, in general, so that by this evening this badger fat would not be here, i understand, act, well, badger chance, what are you going to do, then the enemas were stuffed with holes left and right, then he tinted the food, as he sold green stuff, now its hog fat. Well, what a horror, oh, hello, hello , i need badger fat, i can see it, only it will save you, how much do you need, no, i dont need this, how can it not, you know, i have such a disease, what is it called , but because of her, every morning i get to know myself in the mirror, here we have half the country after the holidays. Its imposed, she said that you bought barucha fat. Come on, thats great, thank you very much, thank you, youre welcome, my dear, thats just just everything. Hound fat , what does fat have to do with it, i didnt even know that i had a wife, then ill run home, fat, dont forget , please, thank you, hello to my wife, damned sclerosis, thank you, well, here we go. Hello, hello, hello, doctor , i, my hair is falling out, they gave me a prescription in the hospital, everything is written in hieroglyphs, i cant understand anything, dont take it apart, no, god, fate itself, just a jackpot, her god, what . Badger, womens bar, no, fat, womens fat, no, badger fat, but its not legible here, but its written, you think what will help, they are doctors, they should know better , take it, dear, oh , how will it help a lot, hello, oh, hello, sorry, im just lost, how can i get to the grocery store, to the grocery store, and what do you need, well, oil, actually, its oil, why do you need to run to the store, just take it, please , its oil, but what else, dont fat, ill sell badgers, oil at the pharmacy, strange . Well, we survive as best we can, my dear, what is it that says badger fat here on the box . Well, were not going to sell oil openly in a pharmacy, are we . And tell me, are you here . Is there only oil . Well, we have anything you need . Yes, you see, its my wife s birthday, she wrote me a whole list of products, so let me pick everything for you, red caviar. Black caviar, green peas, so take it, take it, the eggs, make sure you dont break them, but by chance you dont have champagne, and what you dont have, its not there, its a pity, i would take the box, oh, wait, wait, i forgot then, is there champagne that im not giving you . Thank you, you saved me so much time, and how much did you save me . Hello, i need mosquito repellent cream man, mosquito repellent cream is a thing of the past, now there are new products, its amazing, badger fat, yes, yes, and what helps, not that it helps, its absolutely excellent, it has such a stinking smell, its not like that on you one mosquito wont land on you, even people on public transport. Two wont work, here in a package, 20 pieces at once, okay, you understand, 20 pieces, i dont have enough money, i dont have enough money either, if i dont sell you what you said, what you said, ill sell you said i smell it to me its fine, but mosquitoes cant stand it, okay , i also need, you know, ital, i cant see without glasses whether its on display or not, but there is, heres a couple, here s cetomol, wait, wait, what is this paracitamol in tubes , they made it for cosmonauts, we sell it to everyone to special people, here you go, please, only from our pharmacy. Thank you, more to the astronauts, the earth is in the window, im sitting on the locator, like a son missed his mother, go, go further, oh my god, doctor, hello, how are you coping with this . oh my god, dont look at me, turn around, yes, im listening, doctor, what about you . There is an antismoking patch, there is, only they come in a different form, in the form of an ointment , now, ointments, very good, please, i beg you, nothing is a pity for you, you are so beautiful, badger fat, this is latin, translated as layers. For some reason i dont believe you, why do you, i, by the way, am a doctor, i swore an oath of hyproroll, okay, then give me three, please, please, my dear, smoke, so, ill correct them, they may fall only i have something wrong with my vision, do you have anything, of course, be kind to my rear view, yeah, thats it, thank you, doctor, lets go, go, go. Haider hello, i, badger fat, i understand, no, no, i, badger fat, no, no, no, here are all three things, thats it, yeah, but the hawthorn wanted, oh well, well, the devil is not as scary as his little one, i sold everything, hello, hello, i need borscht fat. There is no borscht fat, what is all the pharmacies about ran, there are no pharmacies anywhere, but what did you want, there is a shortage, its a pity in the pharmacy assortment, one ingredient is not included, its a bonus every patient should receive a present, what kind of drug is this, is it really a surrogate again . Let a group of our healthy guys answer these questions seriously, the drug is so good, you are unlikely to find it so easily, it is useful for all people, those with very acidic acid, why is it so needed, because there are a million drugs in the pharmacy, the countrys Television Screens we are told that we should be sick in a row, day after day, our super drug is a smile. And in addition to the smile there is an estimate of the baked goods for everyone, such is their health that this time i had a dream, they killed me, and the corpses you are very warm, premiere on rtr, hold on, ah, come on, where did you learn that, and in some tv series . Saw, shes having strange dreams again, i had a dream last night, the robbery of this bank, i was there in that dream, you wont get bored, invisible witnesses come to her again, who killed you, youll find the body, ill tell you who the killer is, poor thing girl, how can she bear all this, new crimes have already been committed, and they can only be solved. We urgently need to meet on the way home in the park by the canal, now i know exactly who will be killed when. Anna medium. From monday on rtr. We gathered about ten people into the first group, there were short calls, we are going to donetsk, are you with us . Yes, when my fighters came running, they carried me away, another shelling began, they. Support me with a word. Hello, dear soldier. And in fact, without your help you would not have survived, only ours can, honor and praise to you, what you do is simply amazing, from monday to thursday on rtr, where is gotsman, what am i . What are you asking . Gotsman is always where the holiday is. Well, you can hear from your voice that you beauties, you cant see them. 3 days in a row, what is that . The ultimate glasses. Oh, how, i drink from glasses. The doctor prescribed it, it is good for health. Well, dont bother the cat with all the details. Semochka, why semochka . For five. It hurts. Dont get on my nerves, there are still ways to get on my nerves. Understood . Ishov, quietly, here. Ill go and give the pillow a couple of hours. It gets dark, the carousel starts, a film by sergei ursulyak, liquidation, oil painting, all weekend on rtr, those who want to be in the know, watch the news of the week, the program for advanced people, the news of the week with. Yes, but i cant give birth to a child for you, whats a family without children . Anton madigliani, 12 years old, surname angela madigliani, still licking the wounds of my heart, will you treat me . Yes, i will. I invited you here, which means i am responsible for you. Do you like our doctor . Like. Me too, its a pity that i dont have such a dad. Who sent it . Who is this woman . Take your pick, either me or her, they are very easy to inflict, much more difficult to heal. All your life youve been healing other peoples hearts, but you cant deal with your own heart. Heart wounds, today on rtr. Recently i heard such a dialogue, one said i bought a world map, i will travel. his friend was surprised, knowing his financial capabilities, where did you get so much money . Then he explained, yes, its inexpensive, a map of the world, whats there . We russians love to travel, due to covid and other times. We basically traveled around our vast country, resulting in a lot of impressions. Once upon a time, Mikhail Zadornov called one of his feuilletons travel across russia. i recently listened to him, and i also had a lot of impressions. One of they are like this perky humor does not become obsolete, when art in any genre does not become obsolete, it becomes a classic, maybe this will be a surprise, but i still like to travel around russia, i went to western countries, its somehow not so fun there , not so interesting, everything there is expected, there is already such a europeanquality renovation of nature, the clouds are moving in formation, here you see clouds like clouds, so they are splashed out without any order. Then i like to travel by car, i recently drove along the volga, i must tell you, i wrote half of the new program after that, its only in russia that you drive like this, 20 km , fields, no one, not a soul, fields, fields, you have the feeling that the tatarmongol yoke is about to appear, suddenly in the middle of the field there is a martini advertisement, for whom it is impossible to understand, you drive another 50 km, into a swamp, turning into a forest. And when i travel, i think , i dont have a slogan at the bottom well beat you up , i wonder how we managed to take from the west the most unsightly, the most rubbish that is in the west, the same ones, firstly, took it, i when i watch our advertisements, i am surprised, you know, how can we to believe in this life if, according to advertisements, we are a decaying humanity, caries, bad breath, dandruff, fungus, what else have we taken, slot machines instead of sports, these pale young people of ours sit all night, pulling the handle of a one time machine. Hollywood films are finally rising, but it is no longer possible to watch, thanks to hollywood films , our youth thinks that war is romance, when they realize that it is not romance, it is already too late, thanks to these films and thanks to what is shown on television, i at all i once said, in my opinion, a very correct phrase, television, this will now cut out what i say, but television today has a huge audience, but it should cultivate it, it has, it has. Thanks to television today , many young people have forgotten how to speak russian, they think that okay, this is the russian language, you know how great they speak in russian villages, no okay, okay. Our language is the language of feelings, those western languages are the language of information, okay, this is information, i love you, who knows english, this is information, i told you that i love you, the russian language, i love you, this is the language of the nuances of feelings, you cannot rearrange i love you, love i you, you i love, you cant, in russian whatever you want, say , i love you, i love you, i love you, yes i love you, i say i left you. We have nuances in the language , im not even talking about synonyms, im in love with you, im obsessed with you, im in love with you, they clearly have two expressions, thats it, youll never translate the word nedopiel into their language, because it condition, im driving around russia and im surprised, you come to any squiggle in russia , there used to be hotels, now its a hotel, five stars, three stars for the convenience in the courtyard, two for the sink above the bed, i come to the hotel with hot water flowing from two taps, from two, in crimea, i i say, ill leave, i didnt come to crimea to wash myself with boiling water, to the hotel director, you know what he tells me he says well , you have the best room in the hotel, you even, now you will experience pleasure, you even there is a jacuzzi in the room, i tell him have you tried taking a jacuzzi in a seething boiling water, in these turbulent eddies, someday, this thing happened in the summer, he says to me oh, stay, well fix it by spring. Wherever you go, everywhere they say we have a europeanquality renovation, what is a europeanquality renovation, so you pull the plug out of the socket, half the wall falls off at once , you turn on the kettle, the tv turns off right away, i got into the shower, im afraid to even tell you this, i started getting electric shocks, i call the administrator, i say, why am i being shocked in the shower, she tells me, ready, ready, she asks me, did you probably turn on the tv . Turn it off immediately, its so loud for all of us when the tv is on, like russian people, what a parallel, but at the same time beautiful words are written instead of the administration in the hotel reception, reception, i ask who you are, he says, im a receptionist, i say , youve been learning this word for a long time in general, you take the cockroach out of the hotel first, downstairs in the faye it is written in russian letters, whoever knows english will enjoy it, in the evening at the bar with. There will be a topless man, i saw a vegetable stall in moscow, its called vegetable boutique, and the restaurant is blinkhaus, and at the entrance to the hotel it says elpen seba in russian letters, it reminds me of one case when i drove up to one. Sanatorium in sochi, this is an exact symbol of our time, there you need to tell your car number, it they put it into the computer, you drive up, the camera looks at the car, checks the entered number on the display, okay, lets pass, and the old lady lowers the rope, everyone says okay, sorry, no problem, no problem, lets take it. Omit, in fact, i saw in russia, sorry, the topic is bad, but ours everyday life, i saw a toilet on which it was written on top, this wooden kennel, an elongated dog, on top it is written in russian letters paradise, how many people know english, now how everyone is parodying me, take a breath in your chest like this, well, a little, but you have to exhale, you go into paradise, are you ready . Ready, no back wall, bright future, and the deodorant is worth it. Our features, they are still similar, people dont answer the question, its purely slavic, i ask the waitress if the yogurt is fresh, she says pear, i want our person first warm him up, and then start talking, hit him in the forehead like that, then start talking, after all , this is only a russian person, running into the bus, and having caught up with him, jumping on it, he asks, what number is this . With the dumbfounded eyes of a halfbus, and the devil knows, this is in all our countries, in all our countries people have the same balconies, you know, we are one people, just remember what is on your balconies, these people cannot live well until he has this on his balconies, but you know what we have on our balconies, everything, everything. What didnt fit in big apartment, and women applaud this, yes, i like it so much, almost everything, wait, quiet, quiet, let me guess, skis, old old ones, some have one ski, one, you ask why you need it, he says, just in case, what kind of case do you have, maybe you . That when you ride next to a disabled person, there is a chain from a bicycle from 25 years old, just in case, there are potbellied threeliter cans on the chain, they say cucumbers there are mushrooms there, ours never have the same inscription with the fact that there are never stockings or socks inside jam in felt boots, old galoshes. Old refrigerator, old, old, you open it, there are worn out slippers, everything is dusted with tights, our people never throw away tights, if they are worn out from above, they cut them off, wear them like socks, women do whatever they want, if they are worn out from below, the panties are ready, in fact, and im alone the woman says i never throw away old pantyhose, i put them on eggplants in the garden. So far, such balconies, the same logic, are installed in my hotel room, of course, there are fivestar air conditioners, of course, but they blow with our logic over the bed straight into bed , right there, i was all wrapped up, just like that , i just left all the breathing for myself, they started flowing at night, their critical days began, i ask the answer, only a russian can answer, in the summer in the crimea , you see, our air conditioners are not designed for the heat , it would seem that i was just telling you this, no, you know, as long as we can laugh like that, we are not hopeless, sometimes it seems to me that we are squeezing the foolishness out of ourselves with such laughter, because what would i say. Its all there, right there in the west, they would have kicked me out of the country altogether, ours, i adore you, this is our saving grace, when you say, we are all fools, hurray, come on, come on, im an optimist, ill teach you how to be optimists, and im an optimist, firstly, because we have an amazing sense of humor, and secondly, because we know how to ask questions correctly, now i will teach you how to do this, i am a complete optimist, i realized this while walking in the forest one day, such a difference, a pessimist for. Asks the question how long to live, cuckoo, optimist, excuse me, thats it, on sunday, promise me love, i dont expect such a partner to be jealous of you, well, the wife is in love, she didnt let go of one, right . Where are we going . On the search, treasure. Treasure, were going to look for mom. Lets see on the weekend. Look at me like that, youre embarrassing me. You are the most wonderful girl in the world. I miss you, kesha , everything is fine, were going, my husband nakinti is not going anywhere, only new love can melt the ice in my heart, hello, im not alone, matvey, its so good that you found me, we wont let you go anywhere else, oops. What are you doing here . And you . Drizzle. In sunday on rtr. Big film premiere, this is my grandfather, vasily pavlovich safonov, major of the airborne forces. God bless america. If anything, a hero of afghanistan. These are very serious people. You should move out. February 23 on rtr, many, as a rule, do not read the instructions, but i want to note that there are instructions that you dont want to read, when you read such instructions, you are at a loss as to whether this is intended for idiots, or whether they they themselves wrote this, here are excerpts use only inside or outside, and where else it can be used is unclear, on package of pine nuts, these nuts really grow on pine trees, ill know, on the iron, dont iron clothes on your body, dont, dont, what are you, what are you, it hurts, it hurts, instructions for the microwave after. Put it aside, do not put the lid in your mouth, instructions for watching our program, pour a cup of tea or coffee, sit on the sofa, turn on the tv and enjoy yourself. Cafes, restaurants, snack bars, bars, pubs, pubs, dumpling shops, coffee shops, sausage shops and other eating establishments work with us from morning to night, a person needs to eat as its strange, every day, but i just dont understand why one is decent. well, now you understand how to cook borscht, i understand, im asking you, like this, humor has been settled in restaurants for a long time, a long time ago, the waiter has a fly in my soup, oh, how you vegans are already boring me, waiter, these are your mushrooms edible . And try it, i find it very interesting myself. Interesting, very, yes, i hope that we are lucky, a young, pretty girl gets a job in our restaurant, and if we are not lucky, oh, what a woman, what a im stuck, my mother is a casserole, and who are you . Advertisement, the restaurant requires. A waitress with work experience, yes, yes, yes, yes, i personally wrote this advertisement and pasted it on the fence of my dacha, but please tell me, where did you work before . Yes everywhere, but what is your name . You can blink, you can rush, you can zig, you can gita, you can during the day, you can in the evening, you can at any time, i understand, i understand, i understand, tell the parasite, you can rita, you can zit, you can in winter, you can in summer, at any time of the year . Yes, yes, yes, of course, of course, my soul, and, if you worked in many places, therefore, you have a lot of experience, what else, but do you know how to properly serve a client . Dont complain, okay, now ill do a little test. So, my soul, what instruments do you know . They are different for everyone. Let me clarify the question what is the name of the device with four teeth . Where have you seen this . Ritulya, i thought i missed something. And now we will show you a master class on how to properly service it. Client, you tell me, my friends, this is our new waitress, uh, you can rita, you can gita, you can zita, you can shurka, you can sanika, you can maleputka, you can kitchen, enough, enough, and so, you and i must show this young lady how to properly serve a client . In this case, the client is me, so, i enter the restaurant, oh, oh, oh, i go up to the table, we push the chair away, we push the chair up , a napkin is on my knees, a menu in my hands, smile, oh, you understand, i understand, we pull back the chair. Toilet seat, move it, remember, your smile is our tip, the wider the smile, the bigger the tip, got it, got it, show me. Vera was an orphan all her life, then suddenly her mother showed up, something was wrong with her so, you can break through it through your channels, today, i woke up, the ambulance, i say, where is my daughter, where did you go, daughter, and i have some kind of black hole in my memory. Where did she come from . You will never be left alone again, everything will be fine with us, you called me selfconfident, whoever wants to believe too much will be deceived even by the heart, mother, you didnt play too hard, maybe you had to act theatrically, but quietly, you said, ver, im just i want to understand, no, you just want me to start suspecting her of something, he wanted me kill. Someone elses daughter, the premiere, today on rtr. The floor is shaking, the walls are shaking , big changes have come, in the new season with a new renovation, with a Slight Movement of the hand, we are making three different functional zones from this room into an absolutely faceless one, ideas are overflowing, we want to transform it. Plans turn into projects before our eyes, i adore plants, im generally a plant maniac, real stone flowers will soon bloom in the living room of our heroes, after dismantling a lot will become clear, and dreams become reality, as you look, let into your home, big changes, every sunday on rtr, watch, love is when you look in one direction, look, look, look, if you want to look, look, lets see