[ Twisted Sisters were not gonna take it plays ] were not gonna take it no, we aint gonna take it were not gonna take it anymore nailed it. Were not gonna take it no, we aint gonna take it were not gonna take it anymore ahchoo [ laughs ] were not gonna take it no no, we aint gonna take it ere not gonna take it anymore ooh [ cheers and applause ] oh, hi, there, and welcome to the show. You probably already know this, but my friend nick cannon is not just the host of americas got talent, an actor, rapper, manager, and producer, but now hes also a father of twins. Oh, yeah. Let me tell you, miss betty, those twins are double the trouble, but theyre also double the fun. [ laughs ] i always wished i had a twin. Yyou know what . So did i. You know, i always wanted someone to switch places with me when i had to take a test at school that i didnt want to take. [ chuckles ] i always wanted somebody to frame. In case they ever find the body. [ chuckles nervously ] [ rock music plays ] well, hello, there. Hi. How are you . Fine. Would you like to sit down . Oh, yeah. Isnt it a lovely day out here today . Yeah. Yeah. You know, its. Even lovelier since i ran into you. Oh, my goodness. [ laughs ] youre one of those male escorts, arent you . I got about 43 with me. Whatll that get me . Youre kidding. No. [ both laugh ] i know you probably cant make deals out here in the open like this. So, uh. Right. Right. Just give me a wink just one wink for yes. [ laughs ] oh, there you go. I saw it. Okay, thank you. Okay, ill tell you what. Im gonna go get an energy drink. Okay. cause i think im gonna need one. All right. I might not be here. Ill see if theres an atm inside. Honey, im going to rock your world. All right. [ chuckles ] [ midtempo music plays ] you want me to take a picture of yall . Sure. What do i do . You just, uh. And then press this button. Oh. Okay . Oh, okay. [ sighs ] you have to say cheese. Camera shutter clicks ] now you have a beautiful picture of me [ laughter ] oh, look at me im win, im winning i cant believe [ camera shutter clicking ] i think theyre gonna be wonderful pictures. Okay, you got to say cheese. Cheese. [ camera shutter clicks ] [ laughs ] no, wait. I want to take one with you. Wait. Wait. Wait. I want to take one with you guys. No. No. Right there. Now. [ camera shutter clicks ] [ laughs ] yes thank you thank you ive learned a lot about being with men in my 90 years. And if there are three tips i could pass down to the younger generations, it would be, one always hold on to your man with both hands, but loosen the grip a little so he can breathe. Two if you reach a curve in the road, just lean into it, and youll both be better off. And three always, always, always use protection. [ surf music plays ] im gonna go down to that bar on the corner. You just keep riding that bronco, okay . Hey, do me a favor. Keep putting quarters in the machine. [ laughs ] [ both laughing ] [ quarters clinking ] now we have bold new tastes like never before. You like things made by hand. Were now grilling up freshly made eggwhites. You like to cool down. We just added a refreshing new smoothie. You get wrapped up in things. Were introducing new delicious ways for you to eat. Theres no one quite like you. Now more than ever, theres something for everyone to love at mcdonalds. Be in our ad. Go to imlovinit. Com theres something for everyone to love at mcdonalds. Goglossophobia, is the fear of public speaking. The only thing we have to fear is. Fear itself. We can help people get term. Life insurance for as low as 16 a month. Wha. What were you guys thinking . Lucy i think it should be five cents. Charlie yeah, it should be five cents. Employee we cant do five cents. Lucy it should be five cents. Employee everything cant be five cents. Anncr get term Life Insurance starting at 16 a month. Call 1888metlife to apply and buy today. [ girl ] by the way, this is not what back to school looks like. The only thing anyone really cares about is that first day. Everyone will be stylin their faves. Love that but ill be bringing it every day, cause i went to jcpenney. I know, right . Thats what im talking about. They have so much great stuff. Oh, sweet anyway, whats your first day strategy . [ female announcer ] doorbusters saturday 9 00 to 1 00. Come find your first day look at jcpenney. Were not gonna take it anymore saturday 9 00 to 1 00. [ spanishstyle music plays ] beatty jr. she was the first person to scale Mount Everest without oxygen and then snowboard down the other side. She is the only person to ever pitch a nohitter and bowl a perfect 300 at the same time. She works part time at nasa as their onsite mars rover repair specialist. She is the most interesting betty in the world. [ chuckles ] i dont like to brag. So its a good thing lou will do it for me. [ surf music plays ] this sucks. Why dont you do some tricks . Ride backwards. Yeah, there you go. There you go. Yeah thats right. I just noticed he was riding sideways, backwards . Yeah. Hes changing it up for me. Oh, thats dangerous. Dangerous . What kind of influence are you on this young man here . [ laughs ] this is my grandchild. Grandchild . Well, i wouldnt let him fall. Id catch him. Lets all go get a beer. Come on. Where are we gonna go get a beer at . Right down there. Theres a nice place. Right down here . All right. What kind of beer is it . Its a topless place. No. No. Just keep riding [ laughs ] [ rock music plays ] ooh. Hi. Hi. Do you think its gonna rain today . Im kind of worried. Well, i heard that its going to. Oh, lord. I know. Want a doughnut . Oh, sure. Oh, great. Wonderful. Thanks. Oh, my gosh. You know, i have a little confession to make. Mmhmm. Every day, i tell my husband im going to the gym. Yeah . But i dont go to the gym. Mmhmm. You know, i come down here. Really . Yeah. [ laughs ] and i buy a bag of doughnuts. And i eat em. Yeah. [ laughs ] you know, that felt so good just saying that, you know . Yeah. You got to do what you got to do. I know. Confessions good for the soul, right . Yeah. Listen, ive got one other. Ive been embezzling money from my company. Oh, no. Yeah, for 25 years, i know. And every day, now, i say im gonna pay it back. Yeah. But you know what . Male escorts arent cheap. You know what i mean . Have a good day. [ laughs ] woman hi. What would you like today . How about popcorn . Medium . Okay. There you go. What else . Sure. Coming up. Im sorry . Your teeth. Oh, my god thats my other set of teeth. [ laughs ] ive been looking everywhere for them. Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Im so sorry. Ill get you a coupon for a drink next time. Ill be right back. Thats awful. [ gasps ] ba baba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba baba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba baba ba ba ba ba ba ba heavy stuff heavy stuff oh get out of my way [ grunting ] ba baba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba baba ba ba ba ba ba ba can you just do me a favor . See, you press this for it to start, and then press it for it to start. Were just gonna go around. And will you just time us . Were trying to break the record. Yeah. We had a record. Were trying to break the record. Okay. You ready . Tell us when to go. All right . Marks, get set, go. Oh wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee [ midtempo music plays ] [ whistling ] wait. Wait. One more lap one more lap [ laughs ] its two times wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee whoa ah. Ah. Oh. What did we do . What did we do . It stopped at 40 45. Oh. Weve done it before. I got to find somebody else. Now we got to get someone else. Come on. Come on, please. Woman excuse me, hon . Could you help me for just a second . Im trying to find something in my bag, and i cant. Sure. Yeah. Here. Could you just hold that for me . Im trying to dig through for a receipt. Have you been here . Where you going . Yeah. Im trying to find a store. Oh. There you are for heavens sakes. And youve got another boyfriend . what is going on here . Oh, no. Another boyfriend i cant leave you alone for a minute. Dottie, dont do this. Youre just jealous because i attract younger men. [ laughs ] i dont know why you start like this. I cant help it. I cant help it. So, what are your intentions . Well, i nothing. Nothing but the best intentions. No, dottie, please. You know, you are a sweetheart. We so appreciate you. I try to be. Thank you. Now come along. Best of luck, ladies. Bye, hon. Ill call you. Byebye, sweet cheeks. Well, he was nice. But, i mean, come on. With master griller and sity protailgater, matt connor whos secretly serving steaks from walmart. Its a steak over dude, its so good. Its juicy. Its nice and tender. Only one in five steaks is good enough to be called walmart choice premium steak. All these steaks are from walmart. Oh my gosh top ten most tender steaks ive had. Im going to start buying meat at walmart. Walmarts prices are so low you could have steak at every game. Its 100 satisfaction guaranteed. Try it. Freshly prepared by real cooks. 5. 4. 3. Taste why fresh is better. 2. 1. Try an 8piece meal of our freshly prepared chicken. Now with 10 of our new hot shot bites. All for just 19. 99. [ man ] mission accomplished. I just served my motherinlaw your chicken noodle soup but she loved it so much. I told her it was homemade. Everyone tells a little white lie now and then. But now she wants my recipe [ clears his throat ] [ softly ] shes right behind me isnt she . [ male announcer ] progresso. You gotta taste this soup. Test test test test test test test test test test test test te. Were not gonna take it anymore hi, there. Nick and i were just in the middle of a very important argument. Youre wrong, nick. No, i am not. Jayz put on frank ocean. That whole no church in the wild track, that was jay im telling you, it was kanye b. W. , where are you getting your information, tiger beat . Look, h. O. V. A. Is the one who made rihanna a star, and hes in the know of all the upandcomers. Oh, really . Yeah. Uh, jay . Its betty. [ chuckles ] was it you or yeezy who recruited frank for the no church in the wild track . Uh, kanye, right . Thats what i thought. [ chuckles ] oh. Oh, just hanging out with a misinformed homey. [ chuckles ] all right. Holla mnh. Told ya. [ uptempo music plays ] excuse me. Theres no restroom around here. Would you be my lookout for just a minute while i go oh, use the bathroom . Yes. Sure. Thank you. Hold that. Thank you. Oh. Thank you. Thank you. Ill be right back. Ooh ooh [ sighs ] [ laughs ] [ laughs ] oh, keep it. Its a present. Oh, thank you. Ooh no you were so kind. [ laughs ] ooh [ sighs ] excuse me. Just just a little help. Youre familiar with this internet dating . Kind of, yeah. All that, you know . Do you have a screen name . Yeah, ive done Online Dating before. So, im thinking if i got a name like size matters. What do you think . That can be a little scary. A little scary, huh . Yeah. Black mamba of love. Uh, i think that funny will get you further than sexy, probably. Funny will get you further than sexy . Okay, if you want funny, how about third leg . Thats pretty good. Have a great day. [ rock music plays ] come on, junior. You all right back there, baby . Lets go faster. Faster for you. [ chuckles ] come on, junior. Lets go. Yahoo baby jean really loves the wind. Woman you know, sweetheart, i have to go. I have got to oh, im sorry. Do you want to sit down . No, no. You mustnt move. He doesnt walk or talk, so he wont bother you, i promise you. Okay. And ill be back in just a minute, okay . Okay. Thank you so much. Is she gone . Yes. Theres nothing wrong with me. Ive been faking this for three weeks. Its the greatest thing. Dont give it away when she comes back, you know . Just play this out as much as i can. Oh, gee. There you are, sweetheart. I told you id bring you a surprise. Now, i can help you drink it. Okay, darling . You are so darling, sweetheart. Remember there was a band down there. Thank you welcome. Aaah aiiieeeyah i know i dont have to sneak out anymore, but this way is more fun. Man [ muffled ] come on, betty we got a seat for you right here lets go lets have a good time its time to go were waiting shh, shh, shh ill be right down. [ horn honks ] [ all gasp ] im fine. [ laughter ] you need a cart, sir . Need a cart . There we go. How about a mint . Would you like a mint . Oh, no thanks. Okay. Thank you. A Little Something for the effort . A little gratuity, perhaps. A little. Something extra . I dont have not much. A dollar, huh . Yeah. Its tough being a valet, ill tell you. There we go. Okay. How about a little gratuity . No . Ill be here. Come on, lets go crazy, baby oh, let me let me help you with that, sir. How about how about a little a little tip, a Little Something. Ohh. [ blows nose ] can i assist you with a cart . Just a dollar . [ laughs ] no. Because what you dont know can hurt you. Urance, what if you didnt know that its smart to replace washingmachine hoses every five years . What if you didnt know that you might need extra coverage for more expensive items . And what if you didnt know that teen drivers are four times more likely to get into an accident . sup the more you know, the better you can plan for whats ahead. Talk to farmers and get smarter about your insurance. We are farmers bum pa dum, bum bum bum bum [ dog barks ] [ male announcer ] hurry in for labor day deals like 5 off stain and sealant in one at lowes. Were not gonna take it anymore no way ohh. Ah. Excuse me. Is this the main lobby of the train station . Yes, it is. Oh. I havent been here in years. Its just so extraordinary. Isnt it . I mean, just the history. The history, i mean, i just love sitting here and looking at the ceiling. Oh. Great. [ cellphone rings ] oh. Excuse me. Hey. Oh, sorry it took me so long. I was just chatting with this guy. Hes hitting on me hard. I dont know. He keeps undressing me with his eyes. [ scoffs ] i know, i know. I dont know what hes thinking. Hes so not my standard, you know . Oh, yeah. Yeah, i like them big and beefy. Well. Well, ive bagged better tush than this. [ chuckles ] out front . Yeah. Okay. [ sighs ] well, you gave it your best shot. Yeah, i see, i see but i dont believe something has changed this aint the way it used to be woman hi, there. Hi. Can i help you . Is it okay if we leave our bags here . Thats a good question. [ laughs ] ask again later. Oh [ laughs ] sir . Sir . Excuse me. Do you know where the Art Department is . Iim modeling for the drawing class in the nude, and im really late. Do you know where it could be . No idea. You have no idea. Well, they told me it was around someplace. You know, its gonna take them a long time to kind of get this body all painted. I got to i got to go. Im sorry you dont know. Im sorry. Thank you very much. Thank you an awful lot. Chelsea miller writes, dear, betty, im concerned about global warming. Do you have any helpful tips for going green . Well, ive taken some steps to reduce my energy use. I replaced my light bulbs. I put solar panels on my roof. And lastly [ buzzing ] for crying out loud, richard, keep pedaling sorry, betty. [ panting ] i feel if we all work together, we can solve anything