Well done. Darrin, you better hurry up. Breakfast is almost ready. I know. I just saw it in action. Thats very clever, the way the pancakes flipflopflipflop no hands. Welcome back to the fold, darling. I, um, sort of broke training. I noticed. What about, uh, dumbo . Doesnt he object to your using. Yes, darrin objects. But its a special occasion because of the Morning Light. I have to catch the Morning Light so i can work on my painting. Really . Your painting . Mmhmm see . Ive almost finished the sketch. Im gonna enter it in the exhibit next week. Mother, i am not going to use witchcraft. Well, remember. Anything less than a masterpiece, youll be a disgrace to the family name. And. Ill be watching. [ ding ] oh mother mo [ scoffs ] okay, push. Thats a good girl. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. As i call your daddy, ill fix you something to eat. Well, there you are. Ive been waiting for hours. Well, im sorry, mother, but ive been very busy delivering my painting. Your painting . Yes. My painting. For your information, mother dear, my painting is gonna be hung at the charity exhibit. It might even win a prize. Well, that wouldnt surprise me. It wouldnt . No, of course not. Talent runs in our family. Mother, really not in front of tabitha. Not him, silly child. His selfportrait. And your second cousin lucretia has been working in stone for centuries. I often felt that derwood should lend her his head. I have often felt that we can do without the jokes about darrin. Darrin. He, incidentally, thinks my paintings great. That is incidental. What would whatchamacallit know about art . If you want an opinion of value, you should go to someone whos aesthetically equipped to give you a critique of your work. Whom did you have in mind . As if i didnt know. Dont be flippant, my dear daughter. You know i frequently haunt the avantgarde galleries. As a matter of fact, i dropped in at jacques gallery in new york who is henri monchet . Henri monchet henri monchet happens to be the latest rage in paris and, mark you, soon hell be the rage in new york. Well, im very impressed. Good. Now lets see if i am. What . Let me see your painting. Unhunh. No, its too late. Its already hanging in the gallery at the university. I told you id dropped it off when i came in. You mean its going to appear in public before your own mother sees it . You bet. Y. Life with that mortal has made you completely thoughtless. [ ding ] hows that . I got news. I think you hung it upside down. Over easy anyhow. Eggs make me hungry. Lets eat. Okay. Better lock the door. Oh. Right. [ ding ] hey. How did she get in . [ ding ] [ ding ] oh my stars and satellites it looks like shes painted it with a broom a whisk broom. Well, we can do better than that. O wizards and warlocks of arts of the ages, o palettes of paint and classical sages, this dreadful still life just take it away [ ding ] [ ding ] [ ding ] ah well, thats more like it. [ ding ] oh, fiddleyfaddley, i almost forgot [ ding ] there now. [ ding ] [ ding ] [ ding ] darrin, its almost 5 00. Hows that perfume layout coming along . Here, have a sniff. Oh, these look fine, darrin. There are a few changes i want to make you can tell him about it tonight. What do you mean, i can tell him about it tonight . He arrived in town early. Youre taking him to dinner. Not tonight, im not. I have very special plans. Sam has a painting entered in the art exhibit at the university we have to go there. But thats great cunningham considers himself a connoisseur of the arts. Hed jump at the chance to go to an art exhibit. An amateur art exhibit . Why dont you take him to dinner tonight . Because louise and i have other plans and because the cunningham perfume account crative weve ever had and taking him to the art exhibit can be the one surefire way of getting it. So, call sam and give her the good word. Okay. First i have to think of one. What . A good word. Why dont you tell her its a favor for the president of the company . Thats a good word. Not a minute too soon. If i dont leave right away, im gonna be late. Theres Something Else i had to do. What was it . Yes. Mr. Cunninghams perfume. He sent some to louise and me. 50 an ounce. Hmm. Ooh, mother, look at me. Im so nervous, its like stage fright. Dont worry, darling. Ill be with you in spirit. Wish me luck. Its been wished. What does that mean . Its getting so you question everything i say. Sorry. Byebye. Man on the local side of the news, art critic arthur bryan has completed his judging in the annual Charity Art Show on view at the university tonight. The winner of the first prize is samantha stephens. Larry in making the decision, mr. Bryan said that mrs. Stephens showed an amazing color sense and style for an amateur painter. Samantha won first prize well, hurry up. We must go to that exhibit. Now for a rundown in the world of sports. What is it . She won samantha won . Stunned a capacity crowd, setting a new worlds record for the high jump. And so, you say, what is art . Some say look in the dictionary, but i say what does a man who writes a dictionary know about art . If he knew anything about art, would he be writing a dictionary in the first place . No, i say. I say go to a man who has created something himself. Even if that man is only a man like i. A man who has created a perfume go to him, i say. That man knows art as i know art. And what does it take to know art . You ask. For the ordinary man, that is a difficult question. But and i use the word but advisedly a man who can sniff a fragrance or walk up to a painting and say, i know you. There is the essence of knowing art. Uh, im afraid that our exhibit is considerably below your speed, mr. Cunningham. I mean, its for kitchen creators, patio painters, like i. I mean, we wouldnt be on exhibit at all if it werent for charity. All the more reason. All the more reason, what . To know what you want and go after it. Once i say, i know you, the next step is, i must have you. I have never, never in my entire life said, i know you, to a painting or fragrance i didnt buy. I will say that for me. I always get what i want. Wow. Wow. Uh, ddont you think its getting a wee bit late . Yes uh, waiter . Louise here they come. Oh, samantha. Samantha, how wonderful im so thrilled for you i wouldnt have missed this for the world darrin, you must be very proud of her. When louise heard the news, we canceled our engagement and came right over. What news . Yeah, what news . You mean you dont know . Samantha won first prize. Theyre unveiling her painting any moment. Well, now, this is interesting. Oh llouise, are you sure . I cant believe it youre positive . Im numb. Who wouldnt be . Im dying to see your masterpiece. Theyve been waiting for you before they start the auction. Here. Ill help you. Mr. Cunningham. Mrs. Stephens, as chairman of the art committee, i just want to say how proud we are to have you here this evening. Thank you. [ applause ] hang on, i may go right through the floor. Now, ladies and gentlemen, as we promised you, the First Painting to be auctioned for charity is the painting that won first prize. [ applause ] ur guests to come up and examine the painting before the auction begins. Sam, that isnt yours. Ii know. Mr. Chairman honey, honey the signature. Look at the signature. I want to tell you, mrs. Stephens, im not used to paintings at amateur art exhibits saying i know you, but that one definitely is speaking up. All right, now, your attention, please. The bidding is about to commence. Now, do i hear an offer . I have an awful feeling. 25. That hes going to bid for it. He just did. Man 30. 35. That may be my signature, but its mothers handwriting. You bid against him. Ill see if i can figure this out. 35 once. 35 twice. Uh, 36 ah, now i have a bid for 36. Oh, i get the hint, stephens. I forgot it was for charity. 200. Now i have a bid for 200. Do i hear more . 410. I have 410. Do i hear 500 . 500. I know you can hear me how could you do such a thing . Will you please answer me . Its urgent. I have 800. Do i hear 850 . I dont think so. 850. Over her next painting . Please keep out of this, louise. I thought you people wanted my account. 900 925. 950. 950 do i hear 1,000 . Where are you gonna get 1,000 without a job . 1,000. Going once. Going twice. Sold, for 1,005 to the art lover in the gray suit. [ applause ] i told you i get what i want, if i have to say so myself. Mr. Cunningham. I call this good sportsmanship, darrin inviting us all over for a cup of coffee. Yes, hes a gracious loser, and im a gracious winner for 1,005. Well, i suppose i cant really blame you for wanting your wifes painting so badly. I suppose. Samantha and i will get things started in the kitchen. Let me oh, no. You and larry entertain mr. Cunningham. Mother. Dear. Im desperate. Mother, i have to talk to you. [ ding ] well, why didnt you answer me before . You knew i was here babysitting. Where did you get that painting . Oh, that . Thats henri monchets. Henri monchet . you stole it of course i havent. I just borrowed it. Itll pop back to jacques at midnight. Midnight . but its close to that now. Oh, really . Oh, i am late. Mother, you are going to sit right there on that table until this mess is cleared up. Mr. Cunningham is in there, and he bought that painting dont tell me that scent maker is here. Mmhmm. I tried some of his perfume. It burned a hole right through my robe. You should try some of my perfume, samantha. Its irresistible. Irresistible . Completely. But ill need it for tonight. Hmm . Please . Oh, fiddlefaddle. [ ding ] whew [ ding ] mr. Cunningham, why dont you leave the painting here . Well have it reframed, show it off a little better. You really dont want to part with it, do you . Louise . Larry . Anks. Mrs. Stephens. Im terribly sorry, mr. Cunningham. Uh, cream and sugar . That perfume youre wearing what is it . Oh, that. Uh, my mother makes it. Homemade perfume . Well, its an old formula. Been in the family for years. What a unique fragrance. That scent remarkable, fabulous aroma. Its speaking to me. Great what are the ingredients . Oh, mother would never tell anyone. Well, im prepared to make a very generous offer to her if shell sell it to me. Shed never sell it for money. What else is there . I happen to know that mother would love darrin to have that painting. Perhaps we could work out a trade. No, no. I dont think so. Cookie . That scent is irresistible. Are you sure your mother wont accept a very large payment . Oh, absolutely not. Motherinlaw, my boy. Indescribable. Louise . [ sniffs ] and so is that perfume. Its a deal the painting for the formula. Darrin, why dont you take the painting in the den . Now . Right now before mr. Cunningham changes his mind. [ sniffs ] [ ding ] why, with this new fragrance, i may start a whole new line. Naturally, mr. Cunningham. Ill have stephens get started on a new layout right away. That sounds like fun. Ill want excitement, something that will make it absolutely impossible for a woman not to buy it when she sees it. Well need a name that will make it as irresistible as it is. I have an idea. How about i know you . Brilliant stephens, what did you ever do to deserve a woman like this . Good night darrin, see you bright and early. Right, larry. Better get right on the ball. Believe me, sir, ive got a lot of ideas. So you didnt get the painting, but you got the perfume, and mcmann tate got the account, which is all larry was worried about, right . Just a minute. Just a goshdarn minute larry louise, will you ever learn to keep your big, fat and were you going to keep this a secret from me . Keep what a secret from you, mr. Cunningham . Samantha stephens. So that wasnt your only painting. Or your only style. This one ive got to have because this one is talking up a storm. Mr. Cunningham, that one you may have. You mean it . Quick, say good night before she changes her mind. Good night. Call you tomorrow. Good night, larry. Sam, what about that painting . Is it gonna disappear on him . Is it real . Or was that witchcraft, too . I told you this morning it was real. Oh, boy. Its getting harder and harder to tell whats real and what isnt around here. Come here. Wow [ ding ] good. Darrin . Charlie harper its great to see you, old buddy darrin, if you dont stop poking around, you wont even make dessert. Ill be down in a minute. Thats what you said 30 minutes ago. Something tells me youre not too anxious to see your old buddy. Not anxious to see charlie . Dont be ridiculous. He only happens to be one of the greatest guys alive. Hed be perfect except for one minor thing. Whats that . Hes rich, bright, intelligent, charming, and witty, and he excels at everything. Outside of that, hes a sweetheart. Sounds horrible. Ill hate him. Impossible nobody can hate charlie, not even me. Dont think i havent tried. Well, i bet he didnt graduate cum laude the way you did. No, he didnt. There, you see . He did better. He graduated summa cum laude, and he was three years younger than me. Oh, well. Ah, hold it. You were elected studentbody president , werent you . Only after charlie resigned so that he could devote more time darrin, you cant tell me that charlie was any more popular with the girls than you were. Lets put it this way. I had to beat them off with a stick. Charlie had his own wood pile. Whats his wife like . I dont know. I never met her. But if shes married to charlie, shes got to be gorgeous. [ doorbell rings ] there they are. Ill get it. Darrin . Hmm . I think your legs are cute, but i imagine the harpers would prefer to see you in pants. How can people say they dont know what angels look like . Aw, shes beautiful, dar, really something special. Thank you, charlie. And youre right. Tabithas very special. Do you have any children . Youll be sorry you asked. There they are. Triplets . It figures. Its two girls and a boy. Its a little hard to tell because of the hair. Well, as charlie is overly fond of saying, if youre going to do something, do it right. Theyre darling, arent they, darrin . They certainly are. Instead of cigars, i passed out pipes. Why dont we all go down to dinner . You know, dar, i really like your place. It has a good, solid home feel. Oh, how i envy you. I really botched our winter place in acapulco something fierce. Sams got a real flair. She can do wonders with anything. Well, she and charlie should get together, because he did a fabulous job on our castle. Uh, you have a castle . Mmhmm. I fell in love with it the minute i saw the moat. If charlie hadnt bought it for me, i would have just died. Say, dar, i hear, uh. I hear youre going great guns at mcmann tate. Yes. Hes head of their creative advertising. Hey, thats great. Congratulations, dar. Dont you have something to do with advertising . In a small way. I thought you bought two big agencies last summer. Just one. It was Brown Smithers unlimited. You bought Brown Smithers . Just for tax purposes. I dont know anything about the advertising game itself. Well, shall we all go into the living room where its more comfortable . [ imitating daphne ] i fell in love with it the minute i saw the moat. [ normal voice ] im not the least bit impressed. Im beginning to believe the only thing they dont own is this block. [ ding ] mother what are you doing here . Have you any idea how you sounded while you were trying to puff up duncans meager triumphs . Its darrin, and you know it. When are you ever going to admit the day after never. Well, if you had to marry a mortal, why couldnt you have chosen a superior one. Like charlie . I dont have to stand here and listen to you applaud Charlie Harpers accomplishments. I can go out there and listen to daphne do it. Oh, samantha, face it. Shes not bragging. Shes simply stating fact. Darrin, i hope you didnt have anything to do with that terrible meatcompany jingle not guilty. Oh. You know, charlie and i had a bet coming over here. He said that you would remember me and i said that you wouldnt. And you lose, right, dar . Well, uh, let me think. See there . I was right. I was the freshman campus queen your entire senior year of college. Yes, yes, of course. And i must say that your husband was the only redblooded male thank you i just didnt want to get trampled in the rush, daphne. Kids, i have a wonderful idea. Weve just opened up our house at oyster bay, and were having a few of our friends out for the weekend, and youre coming, too. Well have a ball tennis, swimming, golf, the whole bit. Well, i and, dar, you and i are going to talk some business important business involving you. Now, what do you say . Well, it sounds great, charlie. Doesnt it, honey . Well, im sure that mother is available. Oh, thats great. Then its all settled. Samantha, why dont you go upstairs and throw some things into a suitcase . The limousines right out front, and we can all go together. Sweetheart, im proud of you. Why . Because i agreed to let your mother babysit . Ill admit that does take courage. So does letting yourself in for a oneupmanship weekend like this. Its a shade over, above, and beyond the call of duty. Oh, well have fun. Anyway, i told you, i like charlie. It on. You really didnt remember daphne, did you . Not a bit its weird. You dont suppose she was a little bit of a snob even then, do you . Castle, indeed. Ooh. You have a wicked slam, senator. Oh, hi, sweetheart. Having fun . Uhhuh. First, charlie beat me at 8ball, then at darts, now across the pool. Ooh. Sorry. Yeah. [ giggles ] oh, wonderful, samantha. Youve set them again. Sorry, sweetheart. Oh, my, samantha, what a stunning ring. Oh, thank you. Darrin picked it out himself. Its so stark and modern. Tell charlie that the trend was away from the big diamonds, but hes so oldfashioned. And, of course, he can afford to be. [ tinkles ] oh, im terribly sorry i dont know how i could have been so clumsy. Would you say no to a lot more money . [excited scream] you just won a Million Dollars no thanks. Or no to more Vacation Days . Janet, im giving you an extra weeks vacation oh, ah. Nooo. What . No way. Who says no to more . Time warner cables all about giving you more. Like the most free hd channels and virtually unlimited movies and shows on demand, so you can binge all day. Call now. And dont forget the free tv app. Get ultrafast internet with secure home wifi to connect all your devices. Saving on mobile data fees, helps big time. Ner cable. For 89. 99 a month youll get free hd channels, 100 meg internet and unlimited calling to half the world. We can call aunt rose as much as we want now. Switching is easy. Get our exclusive 1hour arrival window, a moneyback guarantee with no contract to sign. Plus get free installation, tv equiment and epix included. Really . Honest. No. Credible is the only word for it. Now, charlie no false modesty, dar. It was fantastic. Hes already found another word. Well, who won . Charlie, by 11 strokes. Lets you and i talk a little business. Okay. Excuse us, gentlemen. Tell me, darrin, are you happy at mcmann tate . Very happy. Oh, thats too bad. It would be a lot easier to quit if you were miserable. Why should i want to quit . Well, you cant stay there and be president of Brown Smithers unlimited, too. Youre not serious. You can write your own ticket, dar. Thats how serious i am. Well, charlie, i dont know what to say. The word is yes. Youll spend six months a year in new york and six months on the continent. Thats to service our offices in paris, london, and rome. Samantha will love it. Oh, i i dont think so, charlie. Why not . And schools for tabitha. And. Besides, i couldnt leave larry tate after all hes done for me. [ knock on door ] come in. Oh, hi, daphne. Hi, samantha. I know you packed in a hurry, so i was wondering if you want to borrow anything for tonight clothes or jewelry or anything like that . Oh, thats very sweet, but i think i brought enough. Okay. Well, the boys really are enjoying themselves, arent they . Darrins having a ball. Thats lovely. Charlie and i just love darrin, and we just wish there was something we could do to help him. Help him what . To realize his full potential and to find his proper place in the world. Oh, daphne, i think darrins very happy with his place his home, his family, his job at mcmann tate. Oh, how wonderful. How wonderful. Well, youre sure theres nothing maybe some jewelry, or um, well, uh, let me look. [ tinkles ] [ ding ] oh, samantha, how lovely. Its just amazing what they can do with this costume stuff these days, isnt it . What makes you think theyre not real . Youre gonna force me to be cruel, but on darrins salary, they have to be zircon. Daphne. There is one thing i could use. [ ding ]. A hanger. Oh, ill have hilda bring you some. I really should hang this thing up. Samantha, that is daphne . Is anything wrong . Endora yes, my darling daughter. Theres plenty wrong. Mother samantha im appalled. Oh, mother, what is it now, and whos staying with tabitha . I suspected you needed keeping an eye on more than tabitha. Hagatha is sitting with her. Im watching over the real baby of the family. Oh, samantha. Boasting about derwood is one thing, a precious item like that . Well, since when have you been so averse to my using witchcraft . The second you started using it to make dalton look good. Youre only fooling yourself, samantha, and the mink proves it. You had to zap it up for yourself because whats his name isnt capable of getting you one. Dont you see that . I dont need a mink. [ scoffs ] i suppose i shouldnt have done it, though. Would say that is in the nature of an understatement. If you just unfreeze her and pop out, ill see if i can remedy the situation. Well, easier said, darling. Cheerio. [ ding ]. Beautiful, fabulous coat that i have ever seen may i . Yes. Did darrin give it to you . Where did he get it . From a little place that was going out of business. With merchandise like this . Well, you see, daphne, that was the problem. They took too much trouble raised the mink themselves and only used the pelts from identical twins from each litter. Theres probably not another one like it in the whole world. No, no, there isnt. Darrin could just shoot me for not liking it. For not liking it . Well, i hardly ever wear it. Now, its kind of a sore subject with darrin, so id appreciate it if you didnt mention it to him. Oh, darling, you can count on me. But you have a closet full of those things. But this is made out of the pelts of identical twins. If this coat is so special, honey, well, why doesnt samantha like it . Oh, dont be so dense. She knows they cant afford it. Yeah, but id feel funny. Youd be doing darrin a favor by taking it off his hands, because hes probably up to his neck in hock for it. Oh, i dont know. Oh, charlie, if you dont get me that coat, im gonna have a migraine till 1970. Believe me, honey, i dont feel bad. El great. I finally beat charlie at something. You said you lost by 12 strokes. 11 oh, pardon me. But we flipped a coin to see whod tip the caddy, and i won. It cost me 10 bucks, but i won. I love you, you nut. I love [ knock on door ] oh, come in. Excuse me. I hope im not interrupting. Samantha, i just wanted to tell you that you have got another arnie palmer here. He made a shot i told her, charlie. What can we do for you . Right, dar . Charlie, if its about the job no, no. No, no, it isnt. Shall i excuse myself . No, i want you to stay right here. You are a very important part of this. Um, dar. My wife wants to buy your wifes mink coat. Well, i dont get it, charlie. Whats the joke . She wants to buy my mink . Thats impossible. I know youre touchy on the subject, dar why should i be touchy . Sam doesnt own a mink. Darrin, ccould i talk to you for a moment . When . Now . Should i leave . No, no, no, charlie. Its all right. Itll only take a minute. Excuse us, charlie. Sam, whats this all about . Well oh, darrin. Well, you see, daphne said some very unkind things about you and about how you were doing. And said it was a present from you. Thats great. Im sorry. Well talk about it after we get rid of him. Well, i hope you kids have settled on a price. The coats not for sale, charlie. Ah, were making progress. At least he said that there is a coat. Um, would you consider 5,000 . Absolutely not. Oh, i understand sentimental value and all. Lets say 6,000, then, hmm . Now, i know the coat was custommade from pelts of identical twins, so. What . Identical mink twins . So how about 8,500 . Charlie, will you cut that out . You havent even seen the coat. For all you know it might have a hole in the pocket. Come on, kids, be realistic. You certainly cant turn down 12,500. The answers no, charlie. No. Samantha, talk to him. Well, darrin, what was i to do . Daphne was being so patronizing. Well, she practically called you a loser. So to prove what a winner i was, you gave yourself a mink coat. Well, iim sorry, darling. Well, she couldve said anything in the world about me, but i didnt want her to knock you, dont you understand . Perfectly. Im enough of a breadwinner but when it comes to the luxuries i want to give you, i cant compete with your witchcraft. I cant give you anything you cant zap up yourself. Hors doeuvre . No, thank you. Would you care to dance, daphne . Senator, i know how you loathe vetoes, but i have a crushing migraine. So sorry. Hey, darrin, whats wrong . You seem upset. Put things in perspective for me. Daphne, can i see you for a moment . Certainly. You havent by any chance changed your mind, have you . Daphne, the coat is yours. Oh, you dont mean it. Please, just between charlie darrin oh, its beautiful. Whats going on . Dont be too long. She might change her mind. Charlie will give you a check for it, samantha. Well, daphne, you dont understand. Im giving it to you. Giving it to me . Yes. Charlie told me how much you admired it, a marvelous coat, samantha. This is worth a great deal of money. You cant do that. Oh, samantha, you cant give away anything this valuable. Oh, yes, you can, daphne, when you value Something Else a great deal more. More than this . Oh, youre kidding. No, im not. I dont think ive ever been as serious or meant anything as much in my life. [ doorbell rings ] mrs. Stephens . This is for you. Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. Who is it, honey . Oh, its a package, and by special messenger, no less. Hey, i havent forgotten a birthday or an anniversary, have i . Of course not. I wouldnt let you. Well, whos it from . Its from daphne and charlie harper. Daphne . Dear samantha, im returning the coat. It would take volumes to explain why, i dont need to make an explanation. Im certain youll understand. Please accept my thanks for giving me a sense of value. Daphne. Oh, theres a p. S. From charlie. Thanks for giving me a new daphne. Charlie. Hey, did we do all that . [ chuckles ] you did, sweetheart. Aw. Honey, about this coat [ ding ] are you sure you dont want to keep the coat . Tephens. Hmm . Mmhmm. Captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com good morning. Good morning, sir. [whistling] [engine starts] he is here. What do you think youre doing . Master. Major healey is calling you. It is urgent. Hello. Hello . roger hi, tony. Hey, do you have your radio on . No, no, you have yours on. Whats the matter . Jeannie said it was urgent. Ah, are you kidding . Urgents not the word for it. Now, listen, dont make any plans for tonight. The greatest partythrower in cocoa beach is throwing a wild mod party. Yeah. Whwho is that . Me. Huh . Well, what do you know about giving a mod party . What is there to know . I thought, you know, might make it a real party. Oh, great. [magic boings] [over speaker] no brass, no psychiatric observers and definitely no uniforms. Strictly mod all the way. Carnaby street, right . Yeah, well, it sounds great. Uh, bring jeannie and some ice. Oh, thank you, major healey. Oh, this is a pleasure, jeannie. Okay, tony . Yeah, uh yeah, okay. All right, ill see you. Oh, master. A party. A party g. Is it not wonderful . Theres no cord. Oh, im so excited. I love parties. 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As this may keep these problems from becoming more serious. These are not all the possible side effects of opdivo. Tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, including immune system problems, or if youve had an organ transplant, or lung, breathing, or liver problems. A chance to live longer. Ask your doctor about opdivo. See opdivotv. Com for this and other indications. Bristolmyers squibb thanks the patients, nurses, and physicians and i will make my hair brunette yeah, iid rather you didnt blink up anything, jeannie. Here, i want you to take one of these credit cards and go down to cocoa oh, they are so beautiful. [gasps] i think i like the red one the best. Well, believe me, its not the color that counts. Now, you take that down shopping in cocoa beach, and get yourself something mod to wear tonight. But why, master . All i have to do is yes, yes, ii know that, but id rather you wouldnt. Now, you see, the important thing at rogers Party Tonight is the clothes that people will be wearing. It has to be just right. Youll do that for me, wont you . If you say so, master. Okay. [giggles] shopping for mod will be such fun. Yeah. What is mod . Well, i really dont have time to go into it. The salesgirl will help you. Oh, just think. I will be the only genie at the party dressed in mod. Just received these metal stress analysis reports. I wish youd run them through the computer. Thanks. Hey, roge. Oh, yeah. Something wrong with your ankle . No, but theres something wrong with my neck. Im getting ready for the frug dance tonight. A little practice oh, am i excited. All those great girls tonight, huh. Im kind of excited too. This will be the first mod party ive ever been to. It will be an experience. Oh, listen, thats putting it mildly. Hey, youre gonna love the guys. Theyre a great bunch, really. Are they College Buddies . Uh, from high school . No, no, grammar school. Of course, theyre a little older now. Yeah, well, i hope so. Yeah, listen, this party is kind of a class reunion. Boy, its going to be great, seeing old corky hansen again. He used to be the classroom cutup. Ah, ill never forget the time he poured a bucket of tadpoles over our biology teachers head. Hahahaha. Whwhats he doing now . Well, hes the head of his own model agency. Yeah. Theyre gonna paint my office. Help me move the furniture around. Yeah. Good old corky. S. Give me a hand with this, will you . The principals daughter wanted to elope with him when they were 7 years old. But now, to think he has his own model agency. All those beautiful girls. Boy, i cant wait to see what my date is gonna look like. [knocking] come in. Tony. Hey, roger, how are you . Carter, how are you . Good to see you. What brings you to town . Uh, lets see, the last time i saw you was last year at the meeting of the interbranch relations well, thats it. Its that time of year again. Gettogether tonight. Well, we cant make it. Not tonight, no. Didnt you get the notice . Did we get the notice he sent out . Last month, i got the notice. I put it in my drawer and never looked at it again. Its in here someplace. Cant you make it another night . Tomorrow night maybe. We cant make it. This is dr. Bellows baby. If you cant make it, check with him. You know how he looks forward to this. I know. I know how he is. Give you a little advice. If youre not there tonight, youd better have an excuse. A good excuse. Yeah, we will. The nerve of dr. Bellows having his meeting on the night of my mod party roger, hes had this meeting set up for the last year. Thats what i mean. He had a whole year to pick another date. What are we gonna do . Were going to the meeting. Oh, no, were not. Not me, im not gonna let my buddies down. No, sirree. You remember last years meeting . Mrs. Bellows and her soggy, soggy hors doeuvres . Boy, what are we gonna do . The one i feel sorry for is jeannie. Party tonight. How are we gonna get out of this thing . How . Well, you know dr. Bellows. Even if the meeting is unimportant, all the brass will be there. If we dont show up, well never hear the end of it. Mrs. Bellows will see to that. We could call in sick. Yeah, wed have to show up on crutches. Thats the only way hed ever believe us. I know the nurse at the infirmary. She could lend us a couple hey, wait a minute. Remember dr. Bellows said the last time we had our physical, that we needed some Outdoor Activities . Yeah. Well, well just tell him that hunting . You know, camping out, the great outdoors. Surrounded by fresh air, just as you prescribed. Hm, i see. Uh, how long have you been planning this trip . Four weeks. Four months. Four weeks. Four months. Ii really cant understand how we forgot about your little gettogether tonight, sir. Well, i understand it. You do . Of course. It was because of your unconscious need to break out into the open. It drove tonights gathering completely from your mind. Oh, yeah, completely. Yeah. It sounds so simple when you explain it, sir. Well, after all, it is my profession. The dynamics of human relations. Well, youre the doctor. Well, all right, gentlemen, i, um ill make your excuses at the meeting tonight. Oh, mrs. Bellows is gonna be terribly disappointed, but, uh, your mental and physical wellbeing is far more important than attending our little gathering. Well, i knew you would understand, sir. Thanks, sir. Tell mrs. Bellows were going to miss her hors doeuvres. Oh, i feel a heel, lying to dr. Bellows. Are you kidding . With one stroke, you got us out of a dull evening, into into the mod party of the year. Anyway, we werent lying. We are going hunting. What if dr. Bellows finds out about the party . Will you stop worrying . Theres not a chance in the world. Nope. Its not farout enough for herman. Sorry. Its the furthestout tie we carry. Sir wow, thats kicky your guy must be a real dingdong. Dingdong . A bellringer. You know, with it, going oh, going. Oh, yes. Major nelson and i are going to major healeys house tonight john, were giving you a raise. Thats fantastic but im gonna pass. Are you ok . Honey, you got another present. No thank you, dad. Who says no to more . Time warner cable internet gives you more of what you and those little data hoggers want. Like ultrafast speeds up to 300 megs. Thats 50x faster than dsl. Eg internet starting at 39. 99 a month. Call now. And with home wifi, the whole family can be online at once. G reat for kids to stream scary shows while not cleaning their room. Youll also get our exclusive 1hour arrival window, a moneyback guarantee, and theres no contract to sign. Get 50 meg internet with no data cap starting at 39. 99 a month. Plus, free installation and access to beef stew . I dont think so. Say yes to more. Call now. Jeannie. We dont want to be late. There. Here i am. Hey, hey, thats do you like it . Oh, its adorable. [laughing] thank you. Oh, master. What . You cannot go in this. Oh, well, jeannie. Its a tuxedo, ii think i can get away with it. I have a surprise for you. Yeah, well, this is all i have, see. Oh. How bout that . I cant wear that. Ii dont have anything to go with it. Oh, yes, master. Oh. Jeannie, i cant wear this. Oh, yes, master. You look adorable in it. [chuckles] look at that. It fits you beautifully. Well, its not its not really bad, is it . I like the color too. Yes, how bout the bellbottoms . Oops. Oops. Shall we go . [chuckles] okay. [mod music playing inside house] you know, you havent changed a bit, old buddy. Well, you havent changed either, corky. Well, youre a little heavy around here. Still keeping the same company. Oh, hey, this way. Oh, he used to be a killer in grammar school. Hi, mary. Hey, harry. Oh, look at this. Corky business. Wha . Business . Oh, i would like to be a partner in your business. Come on over here. Do you still play the bass . Oh, ive fooled around a little bit. Hey, cut the music oh, come on. No, come on, now. I want you to hear my main man here. Oh, no. Go get him, roge all right. Paul, lets show em, shall we . Okay, ready, paul . Sure. Are you sure youre ready . Well, im not ready, paul. Pauls ready. So good so far. [band joins in] [cheering] this is so exciting. It is the best mod party i have ever been to. Well, you havent been there yet. Roger hey, tony. Hiya, jeannie. Oh, you look great. Oh, you look just great. Meet paul, my old friend corky, and this is maureen, and this is susie. Oh, you look great. Why is he not dancing with a girl . Funny chick. Where did you find her . Well, actually in a bottle on the beach. In a bot hahaha. Shes a little shes shes nuts. Hey, this a lot better than dr. Bellows dull old party, isnt it . Oh, its hard to stop, once you get the music in your soul. You just gotta keep going. Roge, youre not playing anymore. Yeah, yeah, well, im not playing. Oh, did you bring the ice, jeannie . Oh, im sorry, i forgot all about it. Yes. No, i not here. Hey, kids, dig the crazy new dance. Man yeah yeah. Hey, were out of ice. Why dont you look in the refrigerator. Right you are. Who turned on this refrigerator . Im doing this under protest, amanda. Youre asking me to distrust one of the men in my command. Oh, this is a waste of time. At this very moment. [music playing]. Major nelson and major healey are hunting. Hunting what . They wouldnt dare. Open that door. Alfred, we have work to do. Well, where are they . Oh, this reminds me of a party nero gave once. Except that everyone wore togas. I certainly hope so for their sake. Oh, wait a minute, judy, judy, judy, judy. Im going to drink a toast. Uh. A toast to dr. Bellows. Dr. Bellows is here. Hes here. Dr. Bellows cant be here. I didnt invite him. Oh, dr. Bellows. Oh, we shouldve gotten the crutches. Jeannie, do something. Go on, do something i will blink him to the top of a pyramid. Roger no, no, no. Uh, uh, dress us in a hunting outfit. Oh, yeah, hunting, hunting. We can go hunting. Yes, master. Thanks, jeannie. Hey, these clothes really are mod. Nice, jeannie. I like em. Quickly. Yes, master. Wait a minute hey, these are kind of cute. Jeannie, this is not what i had in mind. Couldnt you get us a . Show me that dance again. Oh. Hey, wait a minute. Hey, corky. What happened to corky . Jeannie, get him back. Get him back. It was an accident. Oh, there he is. Wow, what a groovy dance. Come on, baby. Hey, corky. Wait a minute. Oh, dr. Bellows. Dr. Bellows. Im so glad you could you could drop by. We just didnt happen to drop by, major. This is an official call. Oh. Amanda, if you dont mind. All right, darling. Tell them why were here. Major nelson, you missed the meeting at my house tonight, because you said that you and major healey were going hunting. Yes, well, we were just leaving, sir. What about your party, major . What about our party, major . Huh . Party . Oh, this is not, uh, rogers party. He had some friends drop in from out of town over to them for their party. Very generously. Then why are you here . Uh, why are we here now . Our car broke down. Both of our cars. You mean to tell me that youre actually going hunting dressed like that . Carrying bows and arrows . Uh, yes, its the, uh the ancient hunters bow and arrow club. The ancient hunters bow and arrow club . Roger yes, it is an ancient club. We can only hunt with bows and arrows. I told you thered be a logical explanation for this. Tell me, where did you plan to go hunting . Uh, well, just a a swamp. A swamp. Twenty miles from here. Twenty miles. Too bad about our cars breaking down. We cant go now. Oh, yes, you can. Im gonna drive you there. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Oh, yes, you come right with me. No, no, no, no. Well, here we are. Yeah, here we are. Yeah, here we are. Mm. You really shouldnt have gone to all that trouble, sir. Its no trouble. After all, im the one who prescribed this. Yeah, well, well never forget that, doc. Well, id better get back. I dont like to leave amanda alone at the party. By the time i return, shell have everyone psychoanalyzed. [laughter] well, good hunting, gentlemen. [mod music playing] [thunder booms] its raining. Very good observation, roger. You know what your problem is . Youre basically insecure. I mean, i can tell by the funny hairdo a very unhappy childhood. You know, you really should have a talk with my husband. You mean the shrink in the uniform . The what in the what . I mean, the headscrambler, the wigpicker. Are you talking about my husband . You know your problem, lady . What . You aint loose. Oh. Gotta relax. Oh, is that it . Yeah. Oh. [laughs] roger roger in here. Get out of there and give me a hand here. Ace in here. Help me set it up, will you . Pull it around. Use this rope. Oh, thats a good idea. Throw it over there. Throw it on top of that limb. You catch it. Ill tie the top of this to it. And you can pull it up. Ill go to catch it. Okay throw it over here. Come on. Im ready. Throw it. Okay [mod music playing] okay, roge, let it go. Okay. Wait, wait. Can you hear me . [yells] im pulling, im pulling. I got it. What . What are you . What are you doing . Roger im trying to fix the tent, and youre fooling around. Hold it, roge [mod music playing] oh, oh, young lady. Ii dont oh, i oh, oh, oh well, i [thunder crashing] when i think of all those beautiful women back in my apartment, no, i think ill just cry instead. They must be having a ball back there. Why dont we go home. Why dont we go home what are you . Do you know what youre doing, anyway . Dont you remember our survival course . Yeah, what are you doing . [mod music playing] take a bite. Take a bite . Are you kidding . Oh, are you thinking what im thinking . Let me see, you were saying darling, come on, dance. Oh, you dont know what youre missing. Its such fun. Amanda, im in the middle of a very interesting psychoanalysis. Oh, im sorry, darling. Have fun. Now, dear, tell me, how long have you had this compulsion to be a Football Player . Hi, everybody. Were back were ba oh, hi, dr. Bellows. What are you doing here . I had a feeling you might return. I told you they werent interested in hunting. Oh, we were. We were. Well, then, why did you come back . It was nice of you to drive us out there. Really, nice of you, in the rain with all that, but there we are. [indistinct chattering] [ . . . ] five, four, three, two. Youre home, sam. [phone buzzes] this is capcom control signing off. [chuckling] yeah. Perfect. Hi, tony. Hello, major. Take him down. Oh, hello, doctor. Nqualified success, major nelson. Your prot . G . Is green for go for the real thing tomorrow. Im certain sam appreciates your contribution. Well, i didnt join the, uh, Astronaut Program to become a radio announcer, sir. I was hoping nasa would put me in the drivers seat. Well, im with tony. Were the senior astronauts on this project. And who gets to make the first shot . Sam. I mean, it isnt fair. Now, dont be bitter, gentlemen. If you really wanted first crack at this mission, why, you [chuckles] you should have been more selective in choosing parents. Its all a matter of heredity. Press the green one. [gibbering] roger hey. Tony good boy. Good boy, sam. Theres something wrong with this. Im gonna have to check it. Im gonna have to get a technician to take a look at this panel. Hurry up, will ya, tony . Everybody else has gone for lunch. Master [gasps] oh jeannie oh, thank heavens. Oh, for a minute, i thought that what are you doing here . I told you never come to nasa. Never. But it is important, master. You said i could come if it was an emergency. Well, what happened . Whats the matter . I got lonely. You got lonely . you got lonely . why do we not go to a movie this afternoon . Because roger and i have a lot of work to do. Now, get out, and i mean it. Now. What sams doing. Yeah . Oh, uh, ssam. Sam, please, now, dont touch any of the buttons until i give you the orders, huh . Red for red, and green for green, okay . Dont worry. Hell be all right when the time comes. Yeah, but what good is it . He cant make any decisions. We might as well have a robot up there. I will buy lunch. I know a wonderful little restaurant along the banks of the nile. Really . Well, im starved. I roger, weve got work to do. Lots of work to do. Bellows oh, uh, major nelson, i was lah, effendi. Um. Who was that . The water boy. Yes. Come along, sam. We have a lot of work to do. [ . . . ] whew. [laughs] was that not brilliant, master . He did not suspect a thing. Runofthemill nasa arabs. [both chuckle] goodbye, jeannie. No lunch . No lunch. Dr. Bellows is expecting too much out of this. What do you mean . Even if sam does his job properly, were gonna get limited information. What orbiter 5 needs up there is a man. Well. Lets stop dreaming and get back to work. We dont have a man, weve got a monkey. Master. Jeannie, please. Where does any woman go . Spend the day at the beauty parlor. Very well, master. Jeannie. Mm. Yes, master . Please. Goodbye, master. Youve done very well this morning, sam. Heres a reward for you. [ . . . ] now, sam. Sam . Sam . look, ii that wirings loose. I think wed better get an electrician in here. Uh. I dont think we ought to fool around with it. Hold on. I got an idea. [grunts] give me give me the screwdriver, will ya . Mmhm. Hi. Oh, hi. That was fast. Um, theres something wrong with the signal switch. Would you look at it, please . Sure. Come out, come out, wherever you are. Heres a nice banana for you. Now, youve got to be in this room somewhere. Yeah, youre new around here, arent you . Mm. Hm . Where . Where are you from . The cameroons. Equatorial west africa. Thats where i was born and raised as a kid. [chuckles] no kidding. Yeah. And then my my whole family got captured. Wire ends. Sam is irreplaceable. You are not. I want you to find that chimp. Oh, i will, general. I will. And i think i know just where to look. I said to myself, if i were a chimpanzee, where would i go . And what did you decide . Id go to where major nelson is. Major nelson . Yes, sir. My theory is that sam has gone in search of his mother substitute. And tony nelson is sams mother substitute. Thats right, general. After all, major nelson has worked very closely with sam. Sams animal instincts told him. That he was being placed in jeopardy. And he felt an overwhelming need for the warmth and comfort of the maternal bosom. How does that sound to you, sir . It sounds to me as though youve been seeing too many jungle pictures. Um. Iiis that gonna take you long, uh. Sam. Sam. You wouldnt like another electrician to help you, would you . Im no electrician. Im a scientist. A scientist, huh . Yeah. Its a beautiful success story. Im the first scientist in our family. One of my brothers made it big in show business. Maybe you saw him on the jerry lewis show. Mm, no, i i dont think i caught it. Uh yyoure gonna youre gonna be able to, uh, put that back together, arent you . [buzz] uh, will you excuse me, please . Hello, major nelson here. Oh, hello, dr. Bellows. [guttural grunts] huh . Just a minute. Yyou, uh you say sams escaped . You think hes on his way over here. Well, wwhy . Huh a mother what . Oh. Oh, yeah. Yes, sir. Of course well keep our eyes open for him. He thinks sam is coming. Dont let him get me. I wanna stay here with you. Now, wait a minute here. Eh, would you get off, huh . I dont wanna go back in that cage. You know, look get off, will you . Nobodys gonna put you back in a cage. Whats the matter with you, sam . Sam. Thats sam. I know its sam. Sam . It cant be sam. Yeahheh. Uh, yes, it can be. Jeannie. Jeannie why would jeannie do a thing like that . Why does she do anything . Jeannie dont let em take me. He treated me like a monkey. Hoohoohoohoohoo. Who are you calling a monkey . Uh, sam, im sorry about this, but youre just gonna have to become a chimpanzee again. You wanna be a chimpanzee . Be a chimpanzee. Im staying a man. Eh, sam. This whole thing is a mistake. Uh, uh, uh, uh so you see, a friend of mine, i have this. [ . . . ] good afternoon. Good afternoon. Can i help you . Oh, i hope so. My master sent me. Uh, well, what exactly can we do for you . Well. Iii am not sure. Ive never been to a beauty parlor before. Youve never. Just one minute. Ill get mr. Sidney, okay . Mm. [chatter, laughter] uh, good afternoon. Oh. In a beauty salon before. That is right. What would you like . Well, what do you have . Im glad you asked. Uh, get ready for one super deluxe. [giggles] [laughs] right this way, please. Tony sam, now now try sam ral thousand years before you reach our level of development. Uh oh sam, you youd be be much happier as a chimp. Oh, yeah . Have you ever seen a chimp driving around in a convertible with a blond. Hehheh. Ive got a mate you wouldnt believe. Big, hairy. Rrr. [sniffs] hes coming. I smell it. You smell who . Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Dont go up there. [both speaking indistinctly] any sign of sam . Oh, yyeah. Uh, no. Nothing to talk about. Well, i have a general alarm out, and ive had the base sealed off. Oh, he wont get away. After all, how far can a chimpanzee get before someone sees him. Well, i i think i can, uh, guarantee hell be up in that capsule tomorrow. Yeah, hes gone whos gone . Well, sam. We know that, major. Thats why i put out a general alarm. Youd better pull yourself together. Yes. And you have a lovely complexion. In a beauty salon. Well, i used to go to the roman baths a lot. The roman baths . Yes. Neros wife and i used to go every saturday morning before the chariot races. Oh. Oh, i hope my master likes the way i look. Ohhoho. Im sure he will. [grunts] there we go. [screams] what . Madam. Oh. This isnt beauty parlor. [buzzing] sam. Oh, sam. [whistles] sam. Sam what are we gonna do, tony . Im afraid hes gotten away. Oh, how could he have gotten away . Theres theres nowhere to go. No, im serious. Now, if you were a chimpanzee, and and you wanted to hide, where would you go . Well, i dont know. The first place id go is up a tree. [ . . . ] 0 [grunts aggressively] would you say no to a lot more money . [excited scream] you just won a Million Dollars no thanks. Nice balloons, though or no to more Vacation Days . Janet, im giving you an extra weeks vacation oh, ah. Nooo. What . No way. All about giving you more. Like the most free hd channels and virtually unlimited movies and shows on demand, so you can binge all day. Call now. And dont forget the free tv app. Get ultrafast internet with secure home wifi to connect all your devices. Saving on mobile data fees, helps big time. Switch to time warner cable. For 89. 99 a month youll get free hd channels, 100 meg internet and unlimited calling to half the world. Rrival window, a moneyback guarantee with no contract to sign. Plus get free installation, tv equiment and epix included. Really . Honest. No. [tarzan yell] shh. Be quiet. Uh, jeannie. Jeannie what . Jeanniell change him back. Thats the answer but jeannie isnt here. Well, she will be. Whenever im in trouble, i just concentrate on her, and she comes to me. Now, i gotta concentrate. Ahem. Jeannie. Jeannie. Would you like some coffee . I cannot hear you. Would you like some coffee . Yeah, its no use, roge. You mean your friends not gonna change me back again. Yeah, thats right. Come on, lets go. Roger wait a minute. Hey wait for me. Do you hear something . No. I thought i heard someone calling my name. Oh, yes. Theres one in the other room. Oh. Ill get it. Please do not bother. The first thing im gonna do is move in with you. Im a lot of laughs once you get to know me. Boy, well really be swinging. At the end of a noose. What . Nothing. Sam, you wouldnt want to hold up the space program, would you . All you have to do is call dr. Bellows and tell him who i am. Hes got you there. Hey. What do you say we all go nightclubbing . Someplace where they got a lot of swinging chicks. Zowie. [intercom buzzes] thats probably dr. Bellows. Give him my love. Hello. Major nelson here. Jeannie hello, master. Oh. Hehheh. Hello, uh hello, major. Major . [giggles] this is jeannie, master. Yes, i know. You know that package you exchanged for me . Package . [gasps] oh. You must mean sam. I knew that would make you happy, master. Hehheh. Well, happys not really the word for it. Yeah, id like you to take it back. Oh, but i thought that yeah, look jeannie, id like you to take it back right now. If that is what you wish. Thats what i wish. Ohh [gasps] hello . Roger i dont think well ever get this place sam. Hey, tony, its that jeannies turned him back again. Oh, youre not gonna do any nightclubbing after all. Youre going up in space tomorrow. Not if i can help it. Say. On him it looks good. See you later. [gibbering] tony . Is that you tony . Dont worry about a thing. Im gonna sneak you out of here. Sam where . You found sam. Oh, this found sam. Oh, thats, uh thats not sam, sir. Then who is it . Who is that . Oh, thats, uh used to hang around at the zoo, and now, dont be ridiculous, major healey. Theres only one chimpanzee around here. Why besides, i know sam when i see him. Here we are. Come along, sam. Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. You cant take sam with you, sir. And why not . Well, hes just a baby. Oh, major healey. Sam has been trained for this mission. Wheres major nelson . Ii think hes at the end of his rope. Send him to me as soon as you find him. This mission is going up on schedule. Sir . Jeannie. Jeannie. Jeannie. There. That looks truly elegant. No. Thank you very much but i think i like it better the other way. There. Do you not think this is bet . [thump] receptionist mr. Sidney. Sam is right here in my office. And hes in fine shape for his little trip into space. [gibbering] oh. Dont worry, sir. Hmhm. I intend to keep sam here right with me every second until blastoff. Thank you, general. Thats very kind of you. Well, it was just a question of understanding yes. The animal mind is so different [highpitched wail] dr. Bellows. Are you there . General wisten. Ive just discovered [gibbering] oh, excuse me. Ill see ya later, honey. I gotta visit a sick friend. [grunting softly] well. How you doing, buddy boy . [gibbering] i know just how you feel. I kind of like it. Master. Master, im home. [brakes screech] jeannie oh, major healey. Oh. Wheres major nelson . Where . Youre asking me where major nelson is . Hes a monkey, thats where he is. I do not understand. Yeah, well, you blinked cockeyed oh, no. Oh, no. Wait for me wait. Oh, wait. Wait id help you out, buddy boy, but i have this date tonight with a brunette. This is the life. Im taking her up to our place for a drink. Good luck, tony. Oh. Hi. Hows tricks . I will show you. Oh. Oh. Jeannie. Oh, master. You are not angry with me . Uh angry with you . Youre the most beautiful person ive ever seen in my life. Where have ya been . I went to the beauty parlor, where you sent me. Jeannie why did you not call me . [tony laughs] why didnt i call you . Mm. Uh uh excuse me. Yes. Excuse me. Uh, im afraid youre not gonna be able to keep that date tonight. Youre not really dressed for it, you know. Sam. You may not believe this. But i envy you. Youre gonna g go up there and have a wonderful trip. And were gonna get you down safely. Thattaboy. Oh. Oh. Roger. Roger. Hes gotta be going crazy. Roger. I gotta find roger. [giggles] there you are, love bug. Oh, yeah. Good one. [giggles] bellows this is the most miraculous thing ive ever seen. Oh. Well ill go down in history. Ask him to write something. Yes, sir. Oh, sam. Uh, uh this is general wisten. He would, uh, like to see you write something. Now, it doesnt have to be anything fancy. Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Oh, youll see it for yourself, general. Now. Here we are. The gettysburg address. Written. By a monkey. You almost had it right, doctor. It was dictated by a monkey. Psychiatrists [door slams] where did i go wrong . [men chattering indistinctly] this is control to orbiter 5. Control to orbiter 5. Can you hear me, sam . Tony good. Youre doing fine. Just just relax. I want you to press the green button, sam. The green button on the panel board. [man speaks indistinctly over pa] he did it. I knew he could. Heh. All right, youre doing great. Yeah. Excellent. All right now, sam, you youre just doing fine. I want you to press the red and the green button at the same time. Tony red and green, sam. Green and red, sam. Sam red and green . Are you kidding . Ive only got two hands, you know. Its do this, do that. Do you know the trouble with you human beings . . Green acres is the place to be . . Farm livin is the life for me . . Land spreadin out so far and wide . . Keep manhattan, just give me that countryside . . New york is where id rather stay . . I get allergic smelling hay . . I just adore a penthouse view . . Darling, i love you, but give me park avenue . . The chores . . The stores . . Fresh air . . Times square