i've got to go, mork. keep your fingers crossed for me -- or whatever you orkans do for luck. the room looks beautiful! mork: i know, mind. and not a single medfly in the bunch. oh, mork. oh, titter, titter. blush, blush, blush. oh, mork. hi. this is so sweet of you to do this for me. but i think you're a little premature. oh! oh, mork, down boy, down boy! me-me-me-me-me! go ahead -- tell her. "i can't." tell her. come on, tell her. i'm cramping up emotionally. tell her. you can do it. i'm gonna have to wait for the dramatic conclusion. tell her -- it's okay. [ breathing heavily ] it's all right. [ calmly ] mindy, you hold my three hearts in your two hands. will you...marry me? min? min -- the shiksa split. make a small mental note -- it's always better to propose while she's in the room. min! oh, say the magic word! roast -- don't forget to put it in the oven. all that love for a hunk of meat. i blew my big moment. i was there -- i blew it. man: fore! this is not the american embassy! mind if i play through? exidor, is that you? that's what it says on my score card. try a 5-iron? pepe, that's why you're a caddie, and i'm on the tour. always liked playing this course -- so well tended. those are for mindy. i tried to propose to her. what did she say? put the roast in the oven. so that's where it goes! mork, you can join me on my crusade. and give it to the poor. we'll play in the streets with real hazards like gang violence and mopeds. exidor, you've got to help me. you know everything. you even know the color of ronald reagan's real hair. so, please, how do i propose to mindy? ditch the skirt, mork. isn't marriage the ultimate commitment -- the eternal bond? and besides, a wicked tax break? it's a blessing. it's a sham. it's fulfilling. it's barbaric. it's a breath mint. it's a candy mint. oh, stop! we're both right. exidor, please -- pull out your putter and drive me out of the sand trap of life onto the fairway of love. mork, there's only two ways to propose -- "b"... the old-fashioned way. toss the tomato on the back of the saddle and ride off into the sunset. i guess the old-fashioned way is always best. except when you're having a heart transplant. well, then you're stuck with "c." i don't mean to pry, but what's "c"? hmm? "c"? oh! "c"! but it worked for prince charles. i look a lot less like howdy doody than he does. mork? sir? this may shock... and even nauseate you. it's all right -- i subscribe to the national enquirer. bunny... or the brightest... or the wealthiest man in the world... but i've got his phone number. okay, let's see -- is she coming yet? okay. okay. [ clears throat ] on your mark... get set...propose! min, i -- you know, sometimes i wish i was the garbage man because when they wake up in the morning, they expect the world to stink. min -- [ clears throat ] mind, although we've only known each other now for 26,802 hours, i feel the basic -- i didn't get the newscaster job. but am i bitter? no. mr. sternhagen said it had nothing to do with my being a woman. it's just that he needed a shortstop for the station's softball team. min, i -- [ whistles ] i've got to get my mind off of this. let's go do something fun. want to play tennis? or we'll do anything you want. play space invaders, go for some pizza, and get married. no, we had italian food last night. cute, but not the greatest attention span. eeny, meeny, miney, moe. you die. [ clears throat ] [ sighs ] you know, i've traveled all around the galaxy, and i never thought i'd fall for an earthling. oh, mork. you know... i don't think i know a nicer, more kinder being than you. i love you very much. and, um... will you marry me? min? min-min? little pooter? min... [ imitating bugle ] hello, everybody. what's wrong with mindy? i don't know, grams. all i did was ask her to marry me, and, boom, she's got the personality of lint. marry? yes, sir -- marry my daughter? yes. thank you for your blessing. blessing? e should have a talk right now. i don't think we should neglect mindy like this. honey, come on. hi, dad. you know, pops, wherever mindy goes, i go, because basically, we're a unit right -- he's sweet, he's charming, he's sensitive... and i love him. mindy, you loved oliver, too, but you got over him. oliver was a goldfish! oh, mindy, dear, we all love mork. we don't mind if he still likes to chase cars or sit on his face. but, you see, you mustn't let love spoil your judgment. mindy, any mixed marriage is rough, but i'm afraid this one is impossible. look at the facts -- mork can never support you. so, i'll be the breadwinner. i want a career. if he's transferred to another planet? i'll commute. mindy, think -- mork is an orkan, and he's aging backwards. you'll be on medicare. he'll be on pablum. dear, you will never be able to have a normal life. and what about having a family? the chances are you can't. oh, mindy... we don't like to see you cheated out of having something honey, it's your decision. we just want you to be realistic. i always thought my life would be like a doris day movie... not "barbarella." how do i weigh what i feel against what i know is logical? honey, i think you know exactly what has to be done. mork: could you folks talk a little louder?! i can't hear a word you're saying! this is gonna be a lot harder flush oliver down the toilet. john, we're giving you a raise. that's fantastic! but i'm gonna pass. are you ok? honey, you got another present. no thank you, dad. who says no to more? time warner cable internet gives you more of what you and those little data hoggers want. like ultra-fast speeds up to 300 megs. get 50 meg internet starting at $39.99 a month. call now. and with home wifi, the whole family can be online at once. g reat for kids to stream scary shows while not cleaning their room. you'll also get our exclusive 1-hour arrival window, a money-back guarantee, and there's no contract to sign. get 50 meg internet with no data cap starting at $39.99 a month. plus, free installation and access to over 500,000 twc wifi? hotspots nationwide. i don't think so. you've been in there all night! are you gonna come out?! yes. yes! she said yes! oh, hugga-bugga, hugga-bugga! oh, yes, min, min, min. look. ? ahh-ahhh ah-ah ? oh, mork -- wait, wait. shh! there. [ laughing ] aah! ls. they're sparkling. they're glittering. mm-hmm. they're moving. those are his little eyes. he's blinking. him?! it's alive?! yep. don't do that. you'll give him whiplash. the nice thing about it is if you drop it, he'll follow you home. it's a very nice ring, but i can't accept it. you don't want the engagement ring? oh, mork... it's not the ring. tsk. see, mork... sometimes in life, no matter how much you dream or wish for something, it just can't be. i guess what i'm really trying to say is, i can't marry you. pshaw, min. it's a joke, right -- like the volunteer army? [ laughing ] ar ar! ar ar ar! okay. you -- you don't want to be mrs. mork? min, min, min... b-b-but, min... you give me one reason why we can't get married, bicker, and learn to play canasta for the rest of our lives. oh, mork... i can't lie to you. and it really hurts me to have to say this. it's because you're an alien. and? and?! and that's it. don't you see? we're from two completely different worlds. that never affected grace kelly and prince rainier or pocahontas and john smith or mickey rooney and pick a number. i'm not gonna give up. mnh-mnh. no way. like glue, i'm stuck on you. you know there's probably a barrier that shouldn't be crossed. but you said you love me. you know -- you love me. you know -- "l"... "o"... "v"... i meant it, but i'm sorry. my mind is made up. you took more time to make up your mind about your bathroom wallpaper. i think i mean more to you than that, don't i? you do. well, just -- just take some time. just 24 hours. please, min-min-min. [ singsong voice ] please, oh, please, oh, please. all right. i'll tell you what -- it's 11:59 now. just 'cause i like what you stand for even when you're sitting, i'll give you the extra minute. tomorrow night. okay...but i can't promise anything. good night. remember -- you changed your mind about the wallpaper. mork: mork promo -- take one. you will marry mork. you love mork. mork loves you. mork is great. he's a today kind of guy. [ typewriter clicking ] mork, what are you doing?! i've come to sweep you off your feet. oh, my gosh. get ready. here we go. big lunch, min? mork, this is ridiculous. it's romantic. we're going to ride off into the sunset. the sun set four hours ago! mork! min, min... that's all right, min, i'll catch the next one! well, you really topped yourself that time, mork. i guess you've never ridden a pony through a carwash before, huh? boy, did he scamper when he hit that hot wax. bet you haven't had a date like that with an earthman. you're right, there. it's almost midnight. i think we should sit down and talk. grand finale. mork, you don't need a finale. i sure do, and you'll love it. can you put that tape in the tape recorder, please? this one marked "last-ditch effort"? that's it! you've given me flowers and perfume and horses. what's left? broadway! hit it, min! [ show music plays ] ? got my top hat ? ? all i need now is a girl ? ? got my striped tie ? ? got my hopes high ? ? got the time and the place, and i've got rhythm ? ? all you need now is the girl to go with him ? hey! hey! whoa! boy, they really screwed this game up come here. oh, no. oh, mork. min... ? you see this guy ? ? this guy's in love with you ? [ as stand-up comedian ] where you from? ? yes, i'm in love ? ? what do i do to make you mine? ? you know it. ? tell me now ? ? is it so? ? ? because... ?? ? i want to be happy, and i'll be happy ? ? then i can make you happy, too ? ? life's really worth living when you are mirth-giving ? ? why can't i give some to you? ? you know it's true, baby! oh, mork... did i close out of town? oh, mork... before i met you, the biggest choice i had to make in my life was whether to have my hair permed or fix the cat. this is the hardest decision i've ever had to make. maybe the decision's been made for you, mind. i mean, think about it -- you found me, and we fell in love. coincidence? i say nay! maybe some infinite intelligence in this cosmos, as we peer out, realizes that we were meant to be married in all mankind. i wish i could believe that. i wish you could believe that, too, mind. i'll send by exidor to pick up my clothes. ve to go. i don't want you to go. you could go, but the lease is in your name. ar ar. just because we can't be married doesn't mean we have to end our relationship. why can't we just go on being the way we are? i love you. i couldn't stay here knowing that you'll never be mine. but it doesn't have to be like that. no. big kiss. you know how easily you run down, so don't skip breakfast. and don't forget to take your fem-iron. mork... yeah? bye. [ sighs ] you don't want me to go, do you? do you read minds, too? no, but i can read your face. oh, mork, if i married you... i'd be giving up any chance i might have to have a normal life. but what if i lost you? will you marry me? what? will you marry me? this is so sudden. i'll need some time. oh! for adults with advanced non-small cell lung cancer previously treated with platinum-based chemotherapy, or e.g.f.r. gene who've tried an fda-approved targeted therapy, this is big. a chance to live longer with opdivo, nivolumab. opdivo demonstrated longer life and is the most prescribed immunotherapy for these patients. opdivo significantly increased the chance of living longer versus chemotherapy. no biomarker testing is required with opdivo, opdivo can cause your immune system to attack normal organs and tissues in your body and affect how they work. this may happen any time during or after treatment has ended, and may become serious and lead to death. see your doctor right away if you experience new or worsening cough; chest pain; shortness of breath; diarrhea; severe stomach pain or tenderness; severe nausea or vomiting; extreme fatigue; constipation; excessive thirst or urine; swollen ankles; loss of appetite; rash; itching; headache; confusion; hallucinations; as this may keep these problems from becoming more serious. these are not all the possible side effects of opdivo. tell your doctor about all your medical conditions, including immune system problems, or if you've had an organ transplant, or lung, breathing, or liver problems. a chance to live longer. ask your doctor about opdivo. bristol-myers squibb thanks the patients, nurses, and physicians mork calling orson. come in, orson. mork calling orson. come in, orson. mork calling orson. come in, your battle of the bulge-ness. mork, do you always have to report when i'm eating? i could wait till you stop, but the earth's sun does have a limited life span. after that comment, you'd better have an interesting report. you're gonna decorate me for this one. arriage. what?! do i detect a note of jealousy, or are you just coughing on a bone? mork, no orkan has entered into a marriage since our dark ages. you've broken one of our most fundamental orkan laws. correct the matter at once. i'll correct the problem. i quit! i abdicate my post for the woman i love. you can't abdicate. i've given you an order. carry it out or else. top me. [ thunder crashes ] oh, ne-ne nuh-ha! bo-ca-do lay-lay! that's a nice try. don't you understand, though? on earth, when a man and a woman love each other -- silence! the matter is closed. until next week, mork, nanu. yeah, all right. uh-huh. the old silent treatment, eh? i am staying right on this spot... until you let me marry mindy! bobby vinton concert. okay. [ humming ] here, grandma, put this on your forehead. no, dear. i'm feeling better now. all i want is a glass of water and a small scotch. it's 9:00 in the morning. i'm not gonna serve you scotch. yes, yes, you're right, dear, you're right. got any tequila? oh, mindy, i'll be all right. it's just that i was so shocked at your changing your mind and deciding to marry mork. but, dear, if that is what you want, oh, thanks, grandma. i just want a small wedding -- you know, just family. uh, you're going to stay around while i break the news to dad, aren't you? no. no, no. you don't need me. your father is a kind, loving, compassionate man. and, uh, he'll understand. well, it helps. besides, i don't want to be here ks. [ no audio ] i feel like a hamster without a wheel. i feel like a scuff mark on the loafer of life. would you mind if i broke every dish in the house? no! you're not going to break my dishes! well, what about this tacky lamp, then? [ as surfer ] wake up. the '60s are over, okay? mork, why are you carrying on like this? well, min, it's really no big deal, except orson forbids us to get married. he does, does he? since when can orson tell us whether we can get married or not? since 2 million years ago when they outlawed marriage on ork. i hope you told him it's legal here. you bet. what happened? well, he lit me up like times square. "whoa, baby, what's happenin'?" well, mork, you just can't accept his decision. that really makes me mad. we're getting married, and we don't have to get anyone's permission. permission for what? oh, uh, to tear the tags off the pillow. ah. why don't you sit down, and i'll fix you a nice breakfast -- eggs, danish... son-in-law. i'll have a danish. a son-in-law? d planned to break it to you, but, yeah, m-mork and i have decided to get married. over my dead body! that'll trip us, pop, but it won't stop us. fred, that's terrible. oh, mindy, i'm so happy for you and mork. and you know what? i want to throw you a shower. oh, no, no. no happy and no shower. mindy, i can't believe, after our discussion, that you would turn around and do anything this... stupid? thank you, mork. you got it. now get out of her life! dad, this isn't your orchestra, you just can't wave your baton and tell us what to do! pumpkin, why are you so against their getting married? it's obvious they're in love. cathy, sweet potato, i know what i'm doing. fred, poodle, that's what you said just before you put the garage door on backwards. they can't get married because mork is fr-- uh, he -- they're from two different worlds. fred, there's no reason for us to get upset. i understand this is a talk between you and your daughter. i'll go run some errands. you two discuss it calmly, and i'll abide by your decision. mindy, the shower is saturday. [ door closes ] [ no audio ] oh! ha ha ha! oh, idiot moi. uh, hey, hey, you obviously -- you and your dad, like, need some space here, okay? and, um, who am i to intrude upon your privacy? that's what makes me different from allen funt. i'll just be up here knitting a volkswagen. upstairs. remember broadway? [ singing gibberish ] n-n-now, look, mindy, yes, dad, let's. now, look, i love you very much, and we sure would like to have your blessing, but we don't need anyone's permission to get married. you know something, mindy? you were a stubborn little girl, and you've grown into a stubborn woman. but i'll tell you something. you've got a lot of moxie. as a matter of fact, i'd really be proud of you if you weren't making such a tragic mistake. okay, dad, i'm sorry you feel that way. this is going to hurt me more than anything i've ever had to do before, but if i have to, i'll walk down that aisle alone. you will over my dead body. you have my blessing. aw, thanks. i'm so touched. oh! thank you, thank you! oh, thank you, thank you! oh! oh, my ch?ri papa! oh ho ho ho! your son-in-law, and you can just call me meathead. you can count on it. i've got to get back and turn that garage door around or cathy will never forgive me. what have i done? well, mork, i've taken care of my half of the galaxy. the rest is up to you. you've got to talk to orson. no way i'm going to go one on one with the big "o." if you deal with orson the way i just dealt with my father, nd. i'd rather join the libyan air force. look, mork. come on. you just got to confront orson, and you've got to do it right away. look, mork, our future is in your hands. oh! you're right, min. we have an industrial-strength love. [ imitates fanfare ] mork calling orson. come in, your winnebagoship. be nice. mork calling orson. come in, orson. mork calling orson. come in, orson. come on out! show your face! no one here? well, it's always cheaper to call after 11:00 anyway. what do you want, mork? i'm in a hurry. i was just on my way to the intergalactic wine-and-cheese festival. well, sir, this will only take a second. when i asked if i could marry the marvelous, mercurial, midwestern mindy? yes. i said no orkan shall enter into marriage, especially to a lower life form -- one that still chews their food. i was hoping you'd forgotten, sir. i never wanted to challenge your authority, and i hate to pooh-pooh your will, but there's nothing you can do to stop me from marrying mindy. in that case, i'm going to miss our little chats. , sir. i don't know what gets into my head sometimes, you know? i don't really need to marry mindy. besides, her cooking tastes like insulation. i'm glad to hear you say that, mork. but just remember, if you defy me, a hideous fate will befall you. f-for example? i will alter your molecular structure into a life form that will be more obedient. oh ho, you want obedience, obedience 'r' us. y, "jump," i say, "how high?" you say, "run," i say, "how fast?" i've heard enough, mork. hold your tongue. yes, sir, you've got it. [ mumbling ] this is mork signing off. until next week, nanu, nanu. ahh! did i startle you? well, not as much as if you'd been ethel merman. well, what happened? you told orson, right? you confronted him and told him d he backed down because you're strong and brave with the courage of your convictions, right? well... and no force exists that can prevent us from being married, right, mork? those were my words exactly, mind. um, you know, i told him i, um... i really let him have it! i leveled him! i made him feel lower than the price of pork in tel aviv. let's just break out the champagne right now. let's celebrate! let's shampoo with champagne! you mean we're really getting married? oh, yeah. i can't believe it! i'm so proud of you. [ groaning ] ah ha ho ho ho. orson: mork has committed a flagrant violation of orkan law. this is the big day. you want me to help you with that? oh! honey, honey, take it easy. sweetie, come on, sit down, sit down. now, just take it easy, honey, and relax. here, i have something for you. i gave this to your mother on our wedding day, and i know she'd want you to have it. oh, dad. her gold 4-leaf clover. yeah. i hope mork doesn't replant it. it always brought us a lot of luck -- look who we got as a daughter. oh, dad, it's beautiful. thanks. and thanks for always being there when i needed you. and i always will be. just like that. just like that. well, i guess i better get to the chapel. just think, in a little while, you'll be mrs. mindy... well, we've been talking about last names. he's torn between travolta and pittsburgh. but i think i can talk him into mcconnell... or phoenix. work on phoenix. i'll see you there. mork, we've got to get going. what are you doing in there? mork: i'm just trying to work on my hair, min -- well, you can do that at the church. we should have been there about five minutes ago. okay. you're right. we don't want to be late, do we? there'll be a hundred rabid bingo fans out there eating our smorgasbord. could you give me a hand with the, uh -- [ gasps ] you'll probably need some help with that, won't you? what is that? it's my morning coat. you remember the guy with the funny accent and pins in his mouth. rking on it. not just the hair -- th-the ears and the nose. oh, that. well, orson's just turning me into a dog. come on. let's go. orson's turning you into a dog? you'll drive because i want to stick my head out the window. orson's turning you into a dog?! yep. level time, isn't it? min, i lied to you. he really didn't give his permission to marry you. i've made my bed, now i have to lie in it, that is, if i'm still allowed on the furniture. this is no time for jokes! ow! ow! ow! ow! lbj! lbj! they're real! you don't get this quality from a novelty shop. i can't believe it! this is happening! this is really happening! mork, we got to do something! what can we do?! i'm doing it right now. i'm using all my will to reverse the process. it's simply a case of mind over matter. [ growling ] we're gonna have the wedding just as planned. [ barks ] man: telegram for mindy mcconnell. [ barking ] mork! no! sit! sit! leave 'em in the hall! it's getting worse! your hair's getting longer! and you were barking! i was? oh, mork! i think you're losing control of this! you're losing the battle. it could be worse. he might have turned me into a blowfish or a stri-dex pad or a lounge singer. mork, come on, you've got to fight this. try and stand up like a human. i can't, but i can do this. how could orson do this to us?! quick, mork, we've got to call him. um, plug me into your mind with you, and i'll talk him into changing you back. off! what you have to do is stick your finger in my ear, and with the other hand, scratch my head. i know that, but it sure will make me happy. would you just call him? mork calling orson. come in -- [barks] mork calling -- [barks] come in -- [barks] where is orson? how can he keep us on hold like this? call him again, mork. [ barking ] do something. oh! i guess i'm in this by myself. come in, orson. where are you?! this is an emergency! i'm here, earthling. what's the problem? don't they allow pets in your building? [ growling ] down, boy! mork, sit! out! out! ah, you kept his name. i thought "scruffy" would be more appropriate. how can you be so cruel? [ barks ] mork, i'm trying to make a point. fetch, mork. how can you do this? if you give mork back to me, he'll show you the values of being human. if i had emotions, i'd probably be very touched right now. then you're not going to change him back? he broke the law. orson, we came -- mork. here, boy. [ barks ] [ panting ] all right, orson, i just want you to know one thing. you may have changed mork physically, but underneath all this fur, he's still mork. he risked everything for me so we could be married, and your little punishment isn't going to change my plans. i still love him, and i'm going through with this ceremony. you're going to marry a dog? [ growling ] [ whistles ] we'll see, but she sure is a spunky, little alien. [ organ music plays ] if you're not busy after the reception, would you like to catch a white sale? i don't think so. i see. how about washing my hair? where's the groom? who invited a dog? you're not supposed to be here. you're supposed to be home tapin' the ram game! sit in the pew. [ whimpers ] hello. uncle ernie, you're out on parole. good to see you. aunt tillie, bleached your mustache. wonderful. dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in the holy bond of matrimony. be there anyone here who opposes this union, let them speak now or forever remain silent. the rings, please. psst. the rings. oh. talk to one another. i'll be right with you. i hope your next wedding's casual. ave a few words to say to one another. mindy... mork, when you entered my life, you brought me happiness, joy, and laughter. my love for you transcends time and space. grow with me. the best is yet to be. [ clears throat ] min... there's supposed to be more, but that's when the lady in the card shop said, "buy or get out." i don't know the right words. besides, i don't think there are enough to describe how i really feel about you. "love" is a small word, but i think it covers so much. by the power vested in me by the state of colorado, i now pronounce you husband and wife. you may kiss the bride. [ recessional plays ] oh, i can't believe it. we really got married. just think, mork, in 24 hours, we'll be on a plane to acapulco. acapulco is tr?s pass?, min. that's for bottled-water salesmen. we're going to spend 25 days and one beautiful night on ork. ork?! min, min, min. i've never been in outer space before. beats me, min, but we'll find out. -- captions oh. [ darrin snoring ] darrin. darrin. darrin. hmm? you're snoring. oh, that's okay, honey. i don't mind.

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